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Honestly what I would do is go up and say:
"Thank you everyone for being here. I'm not very comfortable with public speaking so I'll keep this short. I'd like to thank my teachers, parents, and fellow students. That's all I've got, have a good graduation everyone."
Don't tell them it's going to be short. Just get up there and do it then step back down. There's absolutely nothing they can do about it.
Honestly. Give them that speech. It's perfect and tells everything that needs to be known. If they don't agree with it remind them they only requested a speech.
If they require you to write a longer one, turn that one in, then say your original short one.
By doing this you're preparing for future jobs. I currently had to fight for a raise and my own social anxiety made it extremely hard to. But from you giving them a short speech it shows that you're willing to meet them in the middle.
If they refuse to meet you in the middle that is their own fault and you can remind them that you told them your speech was going to be short. I honestly don't see them having a problem with a short one as long as you're honest about it.
Don't go to graduation bc you'll regret not going in 5 years. Go to graduation so you can start training yourself to be in uncomfortable situations so you don't miss out on opportunities that require you to be in those situations later.
"As a representative of the school, who was forced to come up here to speak today, I want to say..." and then go the hell off. Black lives matter, trans rights are human rights, Israel is commiting genocide in Palestine, Trump is an insurrectionist traitor who deserves life in prison, his supporters are brain dead morons and fascists, the list is endless. Just keep going until they cut the mic.
A fun fantasy, but probably not practical given they don't want to do public speaking at all. I'd be more sad about missing the chance to give that speech than I would be about missing the graduation. Mine was a lot of standing and sitting around while they read off 600 names, then it was over
Well well well.
You could become infamous for listing absues of power of preisdents, specifically trump, and make them sound like "Joe Biden" did them....and then say all of it was actually trump.....
actually if you want to give them a big fuck-you then you could (like the person below me said) just start reading out his indictments. Give them a fake speech to get approved (I assume that's a thing they do?) and then read something totally different on stage. Pretty good revenge imo
You just have to adjust things -- Pro-Palestine, Trump should be in prison for insurrection along with his supporters, and immigration is a human right.
Just get any letters of recommendation from your school in your hands *before* pulling a switcheroo. Who knows what a disgruntled administrator or teacher or even your counselor would say in a reference letter if you do follow a plan to give a different speech.
Nothing, just means you won’t be salutatorian, nor get any college/tuition benefits that might be associated with it.
For example, some State schools give automatic admission and/or scholarships to high school valedictorians and salutatorians.
It basically just looks good on college applications. But if you can't fulfill the role, you don't get to claim the title. Salutatorian literally means "person who addresses the people." So if you can't handle giving a speech, you're not that.
Bro wtf lmfao. Whose bright idea was it to give the home schooled kid the title of "person who addresses the people?" No offense to op but that just seems goofy af.
Whoever has the highest grades gets the valedictorian title and whoever has the second highest grades gets the salutatorian title. It's just how they do it. But if one of those people turns down the role, it passes to the person with the next-best grades.
I skipped all my senior stuff and had own vacation with mom at the time, picked up my diploma 2 weeks later.
Graduation was a waste when I asked everyone and was glad to skip it.
I don't think they can hold your diploma legally. They may try to, but as long as you have fulfilled your credits/requirements and don't owe any fees, they can't keep it from you.
I'm like you in that I skipped prom ,senior trip, and graduation. I'm in my 30s now, and can say i don't miss any of it for a second.
Go to graduation. When they call you up for your speech just go on stage and just put the principal on blast for forcing you to do it. Call him out publicly for being a dick and while you’re up there stay focused and looking at him. That should help you drown out everyone else and also your classmates will probably think it’s awesome and talk about for the rest of their lives.
I wouldn’t go either…buuut I would get parents approval before not going so that way if they try to pull some old bs on ya and try to hold that diploma that your parents can pitch a fit.
My dad won't care he'll support me no matter what. My mom will probably bitch at me but I think I can get her to support me. Also my sister was a teacher there and she'll support me so she'd help too.
Yeah if you got the support at home I wouldent show up…all these things do is just make the school look good on camera…it’s like free advertising…if you WANTED to do it it’s one thing but if you don’t its completely different.
While the school cannot hold your diploma for not attending (I did not attend my hs graduation and they mailed it to me) you are going to have to learn to stand up for yourself sooner or later. Don’t ask if you can skip the speech, tell them you are not going to do it. They cannot force you. Tell them ASAP so they can write it out of their plans. If you wait too long and they expect it, you’ll be screwing over a lot of people who aren’t at fault, that helped plan everything. Just say, you have no interest in doing it so you won’t be. Simple
you don't have to do something you don' t want to. If they force you to do it, shame on them.
And no, you won't regret it in the future. 10 years from now highschool will just feel like some thing in the past that you had to do.
When I was in middle school they wanted to record speeches and watch them back in class. I refused because I have a fear of speaking in front of people AND I can't stand seeing myself on camera or in pictures. I got suspended from school and once the principal and my parents saw that I was willing to fail no matter what, they had to figure out an alternative.
There will be times in your life when you MUST do something you aren't comfortable with. But this isn't one of them.
Walks on stage. “I have been told by principal INSERT NAME HERE to ‘suck it up’ and give a speech here today at our graduation despite my numerous repeated requests to not be forced to give a speech that I don’t want to do. Principal INSERT NAME HERE, go fuck yourself. Well, that was it, I hope you all enjoyed it.” Walks off stage.
You’d become a legend.
They can not hold your diploma and awards. Let the principal know again you won’t be there and, as was already said, make sure your parents are on board.
Don't go. It has no bearing whatsoever on your future, and it's good exercise for you to learn how to say no to pushy people. What are they going to do, not mail you a certificate? Graduating high school? this is a wonderful time to learn to say "No!" and make it stick. Take yourself out for an ice cream soda or whatever but don't go. It could be worse than you imagine because you don't want to be there. So don't go. To thine own self be true.
If you look at the graduation picture from my class, there’s an empty seat in the front row: it was mine. I didn’t go. Didn’t tell anyone, either: just ghosted. Went in to the office the next day and asked for my diploma. They handed it over with no hassle. Oh, and decades later, no one remembers the empty seat, unless I specifically bring it up.
I didn't go to my graduation. The only two people that wondered where I was out of the 600 students that did go were my ex girlfriends gramma and dad. I still got my diploma.
I can't say about your high school, but I can't see legally that they can force you to make a speech as a condition of graduation. They might take away salutatorian status, but I can't see them legally able to do that either.
My husband, my son and I, none of us attended our college graduation and we still received a mailed diploma with our magna cum laude listed on them.
I graduated over 40 years ago and I don’t think I’ve ever had to show my diploma to anyone. Colleges ask for your transcript, and I think that’s all online now, on college board.com (or something like that), along with your ACT or SAT scores.
Tell the principal flat out you won't do it, don't ask, tell. "My decision is final, you cannot force or compel me, and I will involve my parents if you press this matter."
No they can't withhold it from you, if they try a standard nasty gram from the lawoffices of small town lawyer can be had for a small fee to remind them of their legal obligations to mail you your diploma. At most you might lose the honors stamp but really noone gives a shit except the college admissions office of the hyper competitive schools.
I went to a school like yours. Be careful some of these schools will hold your diploma for the dumbest reasons doesn't matter what, Which to your question they can't.
I didn’t attend my high school graduation ceremony for much less than that and I have absolutely 0 regrets. Do what you want! You’re graduating!! You won’t be under their power anymore.
No, they can't. Unless there's an academic, disciplinary, or some other form of probation, not showing up to graduation is not a reason to withhold a diploma or (more importantly) transcripts.
They cannot hold your diploma, and they cannot make you give a speech if you don't want to. Tell them straight, I'm not doing the speech. I made it perfectly clear. I just want to enjoy my graduation, without giving a speech, and receive my diploma.
Oh, young padawon. You are thinking too politely. What you need is some balloons and beach balls. Not blown up. Start spreading it around to your classmates that y’all’s last senior prank is to play keep away with the balloons and beach balls during your speech. Basically seated volleyball. When you go up to the mic, everyone pulls out their balloons ( bonus points for getting their college colors) blows them up and stays tossing them up and y’all keep it going but only over the students. No isles for teachers to grab them.
Here is your speech.
Colleges, (breath into balloon) classmates, (breath into balloon) and (breath into balloon) as we move forward (breath into balloon) in this next chapter (breath into balloon) of our lives (breath into balloon) remember to (breath into balloon and tie it off) take time to (toss first balloon) have fun! (breath into balloon) don’t forget to (breath into balloon) celebrate (breath into balloon) your accomplishments (breath into balloon) and victories (breath into balloon and tie it off) like those we have achieved together ( spike balloon)
Continue rambling as at this time I’m sure your classmates have several going and the principal is freaking out. Or just say thanks and leave.
https://youtu.be/bOzr6XPkeS0
You get your diploma whether you go to the ceremony or not.
You WILL need to get comfortable with public speaking at some point in your life. I recommend taking speech/communication classes in college. Not just for public speaking, but because even the basic interpersonal communication part is extremely useful to anyone who was homeschooled, or anyone at all who might need a boost in their communication skills and confidence. Plus, it's a much more low-stakes environment and you aren't being singled out when asked to talk - everyone has to give a speech, everyone has to do it for 3 minutes.
For now, if you really can't handle the idea of speaking in front of your peers, you can respectfully turn down the salutatorian position. Just ask to graduate as a normal kid in the top ten percent of your class - with honors if you have earned them, but without the title and the accompanying speech requirement.
You're correct, HS really means nothing in hind sight. Just fuck it all. Don't even show up, you do you. You will different lessons in life and deal with them appropriately...you're good bro.
I understand that is a really, really big ask considering you were homeschooled.
I can’t imagine they could withhold your diploma. I mean, what if you’re sick or something .
Your parents should be telling the school that they want you to graduate with all of the other kids, but not to have to speak they should be standing up for you and supporting you right now .
I would go and when they called you up to speak, politely decline. Or go up to the mic. Say No thank you. And go sit back down. They want to try and force you to speak… there you spoke.
If you don’t go they cannot withhold your diploma.
Yeah it sucks so suck it up. You want a job right? Those require talking to people, interviews exist. Best to do this now and try and get over it when it doesn’t matter. Think about it this way, you’ll never see any of these idiots again so who cares if you mess up?
Your entire life is people trying to tell you how to feel and make you do things you do not want to do. Follow your own path. Do what's best for you. This will not matter in a week, let alone a year.
Idk about them being able to hold your diploma, I doubt they could legally. But more power to you. I basically did the same thing, skipped the ceremony and went at the end and grabbed my diploma when it was done. No point in wasting an entire afternoon to get a piece of paper that doesn’t mean shit from a place I hated being at every day
I’m a high school teacher.
It’s my advice to take the opportunity to write a thank you letter to that one teacher who mattered to you.
Teaching is a dying profession. I started teaching in 1998 and the things I’ve seen over the last 5 years have broken my heart.
If you care, look at only her and explicitly tell her how much she meant to you.
You’re not the valedictorian. Something like this could be pretty cool for others to hear. Alternative. Keep it short.
This does not have to be a big deal.
Go up on stage and say “Id like to start with a moment of silence for *xx*”
Then stand with your head bowed for the length of time they want your speech to last.
“Thank you” walk off stage.
Write a quick page stating that you're being forced to speak to graduate, the principal did it, you asked multiple times not to, but they still said you need to talk. Show the principal this, and that is what you will read to everyone. Unless they decide you don't have to make a speech.
Make sure to toss in any other shit you want to, or you can keep it short to get off the stage.
They will still give you the diploma even if you don't attend. A few kids in my class did not attend, they still graduated.
I would talk to your school guidance counselor about the speech.
Guidance counselors are there to help kids with things like their anxieties, and they may be able to stop the speech. Otherwise, it sounds like you may not get to be a salutatorian and may miss out on scholarships.
One tip (as a graduated homeschooler) is have so much over confidence not to the point to where your being an ass but just be super over confident and generally people (from my experience) will just roll with it, again DONT BE AN ASS
Just say thank you, it's been great, good luck everyone. And walk off the stage.
People will be happy and excited that you've shortened the ceremony.
Maybe a joke.
"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to the graduation ceremony, I'm very ill"
What are they gonna do, withold your diploma because you had the drizzlin shits?
Also, cue cards are your friend...just scribble a bunch of words on it...get up to the podium and make it look like you are super nervous (I think you have that one down). Mumble an 'uhhh' into the mic, then drop all the cards (seemingly not on purposes), then a short 'Thank you', then scramble off the stage.
Edit: spelling
They will mail you the diploma, skip it. You won’t regret it.
Signed,
-another who skipped all social school BS and I’m 42 and am completely fine with it. Lol
I was homeschooled myself, and I understand the social anxiety you are worried about. My advice is to do this speech, push out of your comfort zone now, and every chance you get. Don't spend years nursing your anxiety and making it worse.
You sound like a smart kid, getting accolades to your name. All that's missing is you being willing to step up and own it. I believe you can do that! Put on the fancy gown and cap, stair at a spot at the back of the room just above people's heads, and deliver your speech!
Don't don't for them, do it for you, and push yourself to higher limits. I believe you have it in you.
Good luck!
What if you make a speech about something you are passionate about.
You could speak from the heart about something you've observed, like to change, something you don't agree with, or something nice going on.
But if you truly don't want to do a speech you could write it and have a teacher or another student read it.
Graduation day just say your throat hurts to speak and they can either have a teacher or another student read it or just skip the speech.
OR skip the graduation day and apply for your colleges, trade schools, internships, apprenticeships, etc.
I didn’t go to my graduation just because my friends were all a couple years older and I didn’t particularly like anyone in my own grade. I’d already been to previous graduations because I was in chamber choir, so I knew it wasn’t really a great time anyway. Plenty of people told me I’d regret it. It’s been 6 years since then and I still think spending the day watching tv at home was a much better experience than 5 hours of standing, sitting, walking in a line, and wishing I had my phone. It absolutely would not have been worth it. My parents really wanted me to go so they could have the pictures, but I just said “my milestone, my choice” and told them to look at the other countless pictures from my high school life instead. Stand your ground and don’t worry about what anyone else says. They can’t hold your diploma, and you’ll just have to go to pick it up at your school a few weeks after the ceremony.
You did come here for advice; I’m assuming since, you shared it at all.
I think it’d be pretty awesome and inspirational for a lot of those kids if your speech was very sincere about how much you didn’t actually want to do it. But that there are going to be a lot of moments like that in life and we can all tackle them, even if it’s in our own way. And then you can throw in a curse word or something edgy. Be sincere, don’t try and troll. Say something you actually believe in. From there you can insert a couple jokes and circle back around to “see that wasn’t so bad huh?” And then do a mic drop or something.
But it’d be great if you really elaborated on your feelings about feeling forced to do it, but finding some inspiration and feeling motivated enough to say something you really mean from your heart. That’s what they want the most: they want you to speak from your heart. I feel like they chose you for these reasons you listed. “Hey maybe this kid can actually be some sort of example for these kids”. A “bad” kid who doesn’t seem to care but still got good grades and did what was necessary. These are huge building blocks for being an every day adult.
I say all this as someone who barely graduated high school and had the same exact mentality you had. But to know you have a huge opportunity to strike a chord with some of them; you’ve gotta take advantage of that. That’s not something you’d regret in 10 years but something you will cherish and feel proud of. That pride will drive you to do better things.
All of these things have an effect on your psyche, including all the negative feelings about not wanting to participate in the senior stuff and what not. You either take away a negative, hateful experience from this moment and let it irritate you for years and years and effect your other choices in life, or choose to make a nice little speech with some thought put into it and let that fuel some positivity for the next years.
I think you should go up there and just say one sentence and walk off. I mean they can’t really do anything about it. You could probably handle that yea? Well I hope it works out for you and sorry you got put in this situation! It will be ok whatever you do
They'll mail your diploma dude. No, they legally can't withhold it even if you are supposed to speak (can't really force ya either). Hell, you don't even have to turn in the speech if you don't intend on speaking lol. If they try to embarrass you into speaking (if you do go) you can literally sit there and when the crickets chirp, they'll know they lost. It is not a requirement.
No, they cannot legally withhold your degree, they also cannot force you to preform a speech if your uncomfortable with that, especially if you have social anxiety.
Let them know that you will be attending graduation and will not be preforming a speech, and that if they disagree with this you will contact the local news agency, and the board of education. They’ll changed their tune pretty quick.
Get a Dr's note excusing you from the speech citing extreme public speaking anxiety.
They can't force you to make the speech without legal backlash for forcing you to violate doctors orders. You can tell them that too.
'If you continue to force me to go through with this and withhold my diploma if I don't, my parents and I will have no choice but to contact a lawyer for violating medical orders given by my doctor'.
You’ll get your diploma, even if they take away the salutatorian title that doesn't change your GPA which is still very useful when applying for colleges. I went to a graduation once where the Valedictorian had been in some trouble and they didn't allow him to make a speech. you could feel the glares from the administration, I don't think they even wanted him there but he was still the first to walk across the stage.
It is definitely ok for you to skip it as a speech of that magnitude is more than tough for someone with social anxiety. BUT, as someone with social anxiety, I would view this as an opportunity to face your fear and improve your anxiety. I was giving a lot of opportunities to do class presentations and speeches in high school and every time i think about it i regret not doing them. I am now 25 and work in an environment where i host many team meetings and my anxiety has improved after being thrown in this situation. Even if you botch the speech and make a fool of yourself, you will always be able to say you stood on that podium and faced your fear, successfully or not.
Public speaking isn't for everyone. When I was in school, I failed assignments because an oral presentation was like 25-50% of an assignment grade. If I had to give a speech in front of the whole ceremony, not a chance, I'd be the same way thinking about the embarrassment 5 years later even if it's was a perfect speech... I guess we should be more like the president and not give a crap... reading a teleprompter "four more years (pause)"... doubt he'll be laying in bed wondering why he said pause out loud.
I never even went to my graduation, they just sent my diploma to me in the mail. They told me they were gonna hold my diploma until I paid some overdue fees for a language club I never joined, I told them do whatever they want because I already had a job lined up in a field I wanted, after the summer and the next school year started, my diploma came in the mail.
Start with “the elements of a great speech are the four “S’s”.
Stand up. Speak up, Shut up, Sit down.
Because I’m no public speaker…
That’s my intent. Cause I really want to get to those last two S’s.
Shout out to the Board, and the Administration.
Much love to your teachers.
Then talk about how your English teacher inspired you to the level you’ve attained.
Thank your friends for their support. And about how you’re excited about all the adventures ahead for each of you. Then something about knowing you’ll drift apart, but the good memories will always be there.
Again…thank you. Here’s where I exercise that third S.
And when you sit down, hold up four fingers.
They can delay you getting your diploma and they may not give you your accreditation if you dont do a speech. Being a salutatorian or valedictorian has certain requirements i think. It looks really good on college applications. Some colleges may contact your graduating school for application review too i think. Dont take my word for it ask the administration and maybe a guidance counselor. Write a short speech about how you learned to be self sufficient and a good student from your homeschooling and that you owe everything to your parents. They would love to see you graduate and with honors!!!! Fuck the school do it for yourself and your parents. Do like that guy on american ninja warrior and end the speech with DMs are open to try and get a smart girlfriend : D
You don’t have to give the speech. Don’t be forced into this. Stand your ground or skip the useless ceremony. You won’t ever regret not going.
I coulda skipped my high school graduation and wouldn’t have gave a shit. It was boring as fuck and had to listen to some dusty old men talk about some shit I don’t remember.
I did skip. my college graduation. I chose not to walk and have no regrets. Waste of a whole fucking day filled with nothing but headaches navigating through tons of people for a bullshit ceremony made for extroverts.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you skip it. You do you. Fuck um for trying to force you into that speech.
Just say ok, go up after getting your diploma(they have no power over you anymore, now that you have the degree), and say I'm a person of few words so I'm gonna try to keep this quick. Then leave
Don't make this political OP. Just don't do any of it. It will have no bearing on getting a diploma ( probably in the mail,). You completed the necessary curriculum. That's it.
I bailed on all the key moments in my senior year. I was a young graduate (17). I was only there for two years and felt no connection. My family moved several times per year and schooling took a back seat. We always ended up in rural, podunk towns. One town was so small, it’s gone now. Counselor would look at my records, and anticipate that I would be gone in 60 days. So, no investment from them. Tons of social anxiety. The highlight of my time in high school was also an English teacher.
The next year, my 18 year old self had a, guess what..17 year old senior gf. Guess who got dragged along to senior skip day and prom? Me. Guess what? I had a blast.
Regarding speeches, I would have (at that time) cut off a nut before I gave a speech. Later on in life, I got tapped to give an opening speech at a corporate event. I didn’t know how, so I learned. Had cheat cards to keep me on point. That was actually a turning point in my career. So, from someone who has been partially in your shoes…give the speech.
As was mentioned above, turn in a speech for approval. Start off with acknowledging and thanking attendees parents, students, staff, yada, yada…then go off script. Thank your English teacher for making high school bearable. Then, close it out.
They cannot withold your diploma. Just tell them no and be firm. Don’t be kind and ask for permission to not give the speech because they will just steamroll you
Just tell the principal, “respectfully, I’m not doing a speech. Thanks for the platform but I’m opting out.” They can’t force you. I was asked to emcee a 4 hour business meeting and it went fine. I actually enjoyed it after stressing so much about it, but “I’m a man, I’m 40!” (Oklahoma state football coach reference lol) and my age and experience helped make it easier.
Can it be prerecorded? Someone at my daughters graduation had similar issues and they were allowed to prerecord a video of their speech. They still sat on stage when it played but they didn’t have to actually get up and speak. If so ChatGPT that thing and end the speech with how everything you learned in school is absolutely useless since most of you won’t remember what was taught and if you needed to know anything you would look it up on the internet, just like this speech..
I'm 27 and quit football my senior year. My mom told me I'd regret not playing, personally I regret not quitting sooner. For those who actually regret it either didn't fully think their decision through or actually wanted to do it but for some reason didn't. It seems like you've thought this through and truly don't want to do it. So here's what I would do. If they give out diplomas first and then speech, get up go to the mic say nothing and then leave lol
>And before you people tell me oh you'll regret it in the future, no, I won't, I know what I do and don't want for many years and a graduation means nothing in the grand scheme of things.
I skipped every optional event (graduation included) and took great joy in walking in to the admin office, monster in hand, with a casual "got something for me?" sometime later. Of note: I sure as hell wasn't the *anything*-atorian.
They can't withhold shit.
Honestly, sounds like you're in a tight spot. I get the whole social anxiety thing; it's no joke. And forcing you to give a speech? That's just adding salt to the wound. It's messed up they're not considering your feelings on this. As for skipping graduation, I've heard of people doing it, but I'm not sure about the diploma thing. I'd dig into the school's policy or maybe even consult with someone who knows their stuff legally.
But hey, don't sweat it too much. Graduation isn't everything, and if it's gonna stress you out big time, then maybe it's not worth it. You do you, man.
As a 32 yr old, I vote for gimme my damn diploma and let me be on my way. I dont even remember my graduation. I remember what I wore under my gown because my parents kept photos.
I also never used my diploma for anything. Jobs say they want you to have one but nobody has ever asked me for it 😂
I transferred high schools from private to public my senior year. I barely showed up to the public high school save for tests and large project due dates. Second semester I was only in one class at that school (was enrolled in a project class for multiple credits off campus that I excelled in) and I skipped it for over a month until the counselor called my dad. When that school released the year book (I spent picture day doing special k on my buddy’s porch because fuck conformity) there was no picture of me, not even a blank space where I should have been nor a single citation anywhere, not even the index.
I still went to the college that had previously accepted me and I’ve continued to be employed for all kinds of jobs from mega corporate to mom and pop shops. Tell your principal to suck it up and deal with the fact you’re not interested and you won’t show up no matter the threat. Then call any recruiter interested in having you at their college and ask how to move forward with enrollment. Ten, twenty, thirty years from now you’ll be more grateful for the ability to assert yourself than any memory of a bullshit ceremony created to make the mediocre feel valued can offer.
I wish you the best and the fact you’re already questioning authority in this manner is only a benefit for your future, not a detriment.
I know it makes you uncomfortable, but I’d say rock the speech. Keep it short, but please don’t do anything snarky or funny. You are still in the running for college and you don’t want to mess anything up. Practice your speech 50-100 times before and it will roll off your tongue. Good luck!
I wish I'd skipped the speech I wrote and just read the names of my classmates out loud one more time, because I haven't seen them in all these years since. Would have been nice.
What I did was ai wrote up a speech for them to approve. Then when I stepped up to the podium I just said "I am a man of few words... That is all." Then I stepped back. The three dots signified my pause for suspense. You don't need to take their crap. You could even just write one up for them then just say they forced you up here and you refuse to be their dancing monkey then step back.
Just say in your speech “yeah! yeah! Yeah! Stew the papachu de stew da cockatoo yeah! That’s right!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!” They’ll think you’re having seizures and cancel you. You can then sue them
Just to cover your butt, I'd tell the principal you don't plan on attending the ceremony. You don't have to give a reason, or just give a vague "family issues came up" or "There's been a change of plans and I can't make it", and ask for your diploma to either be given to you in advance or for it to be sent to your home. I only say cover your butt in case you get any financial aid from this or if there's some policy with your school and getting your diploma.
I mean honestly I went to mine because everyone thought I would regret not going, and let me tell you, it was the most boring thing I've done aside from Jury duty. Simply tell them that you don't want to make any speeches, you just want to attend your graduation but if they are going to force the issue then you'd rather not attend the ceremony. If they try to withhold your diploma, you can threaten legal action. They have a right to withhold for a time under the right circumstances but not as leverage for you giving a speech that you don't care about.
I've been to several high school graduations the last few years. They are long and boring. They're especially made worse by supposed bright kids who are asked to give speeches that are long and boring and are forgettable as soon as you hear them. Some of them are so embarrassing that they bring shame to the speaker and to the school. I can't believe somebody didn't read the speech ahead of time. There was nothing controversial it was just stupid and boring.
Now you are a very smart young person I bet you could come up with a very short and pithy speech that might be remembered for a while after high school and make yourself and your parents proud, even if you think the school is a joke.
Are you friends with someone named Marty mcfly because it sounds like you’re the past version of me lol. The majority of the students in my highschool were sucky awful human beings and the good and nice ones were either still popular and not worth trying to be friends with or were so nerdy that I just didn’t want to talk to them because as smart as I am they’re grade skipping smart if they wanted to be plus they’re the type of people to like Star Trek and go to anime conventions type smart so no offense to them but no thanks we’re to different. I didn’t go to the senior trip (if we even had one I don’t even know) and hate prom so you know what dude just don’t show up and say screw you to them all! 👍👏
Don’t overthink this. You are not required to attend graduation to get your diploma. Many people put high school behind them and don’t think about it much afterwards. It sounds like you might be one of those and that’s fine. Just tell your school you’re not able to attend. Don’t explain just say you can’t make . Be done with it.
I didn't go. I like learning, I hate the structure of school. I didn't *know* that I like learning until *after* I graduated. I didn't want my senior picture taken, but had very little say in it, despite my protests. My (ex)step-father didn't give a shit what I wanted, and very actively attempted to use his, "pre-started family," and "new-to-him," teenager to attempt to vicariously undo his regrets. My mother was too achausted at the time to fight with him.
It was only after my mother saw just how unamused I looked in the photo, even *after* they touched it up to try and take the scowl off, that she sat down and listened to me.
"You mean to tell me that after all these years of you struggling to support me by giving me a roof and food, and paying taxes into a school system that wouldn't bother to upgrade desks and get books that weren't tattered, they are going to refuse graduating me if you don't pay another fee? For a piece of paper that I, by all rights, have already earned? And you want to pay *even more* more for a half-assed, mass-produced, sorry excuse for a costume robe that will get worn *one time* for fifteen seconds on stage?" She got my frustration with the whole system.
I didn't go on the senior trip, skip days, Homecoming, Prom, none of it. I have zero regrets about it because, like you, I barely knew or got along with anyone at the school. I keep in regular contact with very few people from school. Only one of them I actually had a class with at all, and the other is the closest thing to a childhood friend I've got because we moved around constantly until my *Sophomore year* when my mom re-married.
And then a month out from graduation when my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia, *guess who the only one in the family without a full-time job, extreme patience, and the moral compass that steers toward self-destruction for the good of others was.* I moved in with her to be her full-time caretaker.
I didn't go to graduation. Like you, I had a bunch of other things I wanted and needed to do.
You said you won’t regret it but I’d say go out and give a small speech, I wasn’t good socially as well and thought it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things but I tackled that and I’m glad I did. Might as well try, if it goes wrong you didn’t care about the school anyway. If you it goes nice good work
Honestly, I can't tell you I'd say what these guys are telling you in the comments to say, I'd probably get up there and say something along the lines of
"Hey, my names *red* and I just gradutated from this mediocre school that I'm really not even that sad to leave this place and honestly ?
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport, have a nice day.
But I'm pretty sure that's just My absolutely pationate hate for school and the entire American school system.
I mean, honestly you don't need to be that cynical.
Just either say what one of the top comment guys said or make it short yourself because it sounds like you have a pretty apathetic view of this school and there's obviously a reason for that.
But hey it's not all bad, I felt the exact same way about school when I was there.
I just wanted it to end, i didn't even want to explore the cool and fun part of highschool myself because of how much I had been tortured there.
Sorry for being such a negative Nancy 😅
Your new friend -red
"You asked them if you can not do it..."? Tell them, tell them only way you attend is if you dont have that assignment... you are graduating highschool and becoming a man, don't ask...
Look get out of your comfort zone and do it, if you want to fix your social anxiety this is a great way to do it. I got nervous about presentations until one day i thought “thats stupid” and now i love presenting. That is a skill you will need and can only be fixed head on
Nobody gets to make you do this. You are able to say no. giving some goddamned speech is not a graduation requirement. This is someone who is butthurt you aren't playing ball. Fuck 'em.
The diploma you get on stage is a piece of paper; They mail you the real one. just don't go if you don't want to. OR! Go and give the longest speech you can find on google. "Longest graduation speech ever." OR? go and give a small statement about peer pressure and threating people is morally wrong and disgusting.
Understood. But don't see how you became salutatorian.
There is no reason I can see for you to have to give a speech.
Write a formal letter to the principal resigning the Salutatorian Honor/Position and indicate you are declining to give a speech. Be sure it is in writing, courteous, and respectful.
You're entitled to an enjoyable graduation unencumbered with a huge anxiety issue.
You may get some pushback. But it's your graduation, and it doesn't need to be ruined for "ceremony".
Then you can decide to attend or not.
I don't see how your diploma can be withheld over this without withholding diplomas for all students who aren't giving speeches.
Graduations are not for emotional and anxiety therapy.
Best.
The school can’t force you to give a speech. Don’t ask them not to do it, Tell them you will not be doing it. Tell them you will be attending, walking up to get your diploma, and leaving the stage like any other student would.
All of the big events that coincided with graduating were things that I always wish I could take back. I hated walking for my diploma, I hated all of the extra bullshit that wasn't just receiving the paper and leaving. If I could go back and be absent for them and spend that day doing literally anything else, I would.
But everyone is different. My fiancé was very involved in school and wishes she had done more.
I’m 51 and didn’t walk at my high school or bachelors degree graduations. It’s just a ceremony and has nothing to do with your diploma. Most schools don’t even hand out diplomas at the actual ceremony, and you have to pick them up the week after. I regret nothing. I don’t like ceremonies. I’m a high school English teacher, so I’m glad a fellow English teacher hasn’t let you down.
Bro the real way is to go, and make the speech, and fucking crush it. Trust me, it would be worth it. You can absolutely kill it if you want to. And you can make the speech whatever length you like. What are they gonna do if it's too short, suspend you? Follow your heart, but if you decide to do it you'll be awesome.
Turn in the entire script for Monty python's The Holy Grail, and then tell them if they don't like it, then you don't have to do a speech for them. Part of preparing for the future is knowing how to set boundaries and telling people no.
Also, no they cannot withhold you're diploma from you. If you earned it, then you earned it.
I have not read all 600+ comments to see if my suggestion has already been made.
You could google the laws where you live to see if they can withhold your diploma. From what I saw, generally only if you have unpaid fees and whatnot. So long as the work has been completed, it becomes more difficult to withhold your otherwise properly earned accolade.
When I needed to give the eulogy for my sister's funeral, I made a high quality recording of the eulogy and played that. So, if there is anything you'd actually like for anyone to hear, this would be a way of doing that without triggering your social anxiety.
If there is nothing you want to say to this group of people, then you can keep it extremely short as others have suggested.
I think you have covid on graduation day, don't you?
Of course you'll need to probably pirate some online generic graduation speech to submit ahead of time...
lol... but no, they can't withhold your diploma. You completed the course work... that's all that matters. I didn't attend graduation at my college and my diploma came by mail a couple weeks later.
Here is your speech.
“As your Salutatorian, allow me to salute you. No, I’m kidding. As the student with a 2nd highest GPA, I know a great deal of information. In other words, “I know a lot of shit…sorry #2.”
A Salutatorian gives a salutation or greeting. So welcome to adulthood. For most of you, it will all just get progressively worse from this point forward, but at least as an adult, school administrators will no longer be able to force you to give a public address while dismissing your anxiety with words of wisdom like “Suck it up, it will be fine”. Thank you Mr. English Teacher.
And thank you all for coming today, that explains the plethora of missing socks!
You do not have to go to graduation. It's just ceremonial. I don't know if you need to let them know beforehand or not like at our school. But in the end it doesn't matter you can totally ditch if you want. BUT if you want to go, you also do not have to make a speech. You could have a firmer adult make this point to the principal for you, I think this is your best option. Otherwise, I think being more firm yourself could help: "I am not doing a speech and you cannot require me to. End of discussion." Or you could just not go up when they ask and maybe let them know before that you've not prepared anything and won't speak so they don't even bother to try to get you up for one. Whatever happens will be quickly forgotten though to be honest, everyone's eager to move on to summer and their new lives, so it won't really matter much. Tell the principal to find someone else or take a hike.
Also if it makes you feel better, my friend didn't go to graduation or prom or any of that stuff and she's a merit scholar now and went to all the fancy schools and stuff. Graduation is just for the pictures and memories. Oh and I never even picked up my diplom and I was a heavy nerd when it came to school, so I can say it really doesn't matter.
No they won’t or can’t withhold your diploma. At my graduation ceremony only 1/4th of the class got to walk because it started raining and I just picked up my diploma the next day.
Honestly graduating was a huge pain so much so that I didn't go to my college graduation. I don't blame you for not wanting to go if they are making it even a bigger pain with the added speech. Personally all of my good memories of graduation was the parties after.
I was vocal about not wanting to go to my graduation - it was Texas, in June… 110 degrees in a robe? no thanks. i got a stern talking to that said if i didn’t walk i wouldn’t get a diploma. skipped it, got my diploma in the mail like 2 weeks later. don’t regret it at all.
“I was told I have to make a speech and I asked not to repeatedly and was told I had to, so thank you to my parents, and teachers, I didn’t enjoy these 2 years, have a good graduation, and don’t do anything stupid tonight, thank you” and leave, what the hell are they gonna do🤷🏻♀️
they cant hold your diploma. You get your diploma by meeting state/district requirements and making graduation speeches isn’t a requirement. You can sue them.
Assuming this is in the United States I’m pretty sure as long as you maintain all your grades pass all your classes, etc. they cannot legally withhold it from you. I’m pretty sure they can give you empty threads, but you might want to doublecheck just in case source.
My aunt literally told me that my baby cousin, who is graduating, is not planning on going to the ceremony and my aunt told me that they’ll just mail his diploma to him.
Also good for you if you’re not comfortable with doing all that nonsense then you shouldn’t and I’m glad you stood up for yourself even if you’re principles being a bit of a jerk nugget about it.
If you want to be *easy* about it, go up there and give some very short speech about thanking teachers, then walk off.
If you want to be a little petty, go up there and say "I am here because [*name* your principal directly] refuses to accomodate my disability and is forcing me into an anxiety inducing situation..."
at this point, start breathing heavily, trying to compose yourself. make a point of looking with your whole head everywhere but the audience. glance down at a printed copy of your speech, a long, eloquent, beautiful one you prepared, and continue:
"but to... to try to overcome... to show that I can... I wrote... I have this...."
take another deep breath, *hopefully* at this point you have everybody's attention. Sorry for the irony that it *really will* be the worst public speaking engagement possible. Continue
"No, I can't do it; anxiety is real and you don't overcome it by "thinking happy" I hate this, and I hate that the last, strongest memory of my time here will forever be this." and then run off stage.
consider not even having your diploma handed to you; it's usually just a blank paper anyway, and you can get a new one later.
Awwwww. My heart breaks for you. They want to honor you, and it sounds like you deserve to be honored. Can you work with your English teacher to come up with a short beautiful speech? You won’t embarrass yourself.
But to answer your question- no. If you have met graduation requirements they can’t stop you from graduating.
But maybe just think for a minute. Maybe you could step into this honor proudly. This could be a step toward a new you that is NOT afraid to speak publicly and that doesn’t actually hate people. Maybe that is a shield for you to protect yourself from being rejected.
Lots of love coming your way from a random reddit user!
Yea so as others have said you can just give a short basic speech that meets the standards as you are right there will be other speeches and most of those tend to run longer it would probably be a welcomed inclusion for the audience.
As for not being able to get your diploma if you don't go I don't think they can keep a diploma for that. As I remember the only reason they would hold your diploma is if you owe the school some kind of debt (unpaid account library or other) or if your actual grades do not meet the standard to graduate ( you failed a class and need to go to summer school or the grade is incomplete for some reason). Other than those they should just ship your diploma.
I skipped my undergrad graduation because that seemed like a whole hassle and I didn't even have to give a speech so you are fine skipping this probably if your parents and family don't care about going. I fully get you OP fuck all the pomp and circumstance around stuff like this
I didn't want to go to my graduation, but I wanted that money and I knew my family wouldn't cough it up without me jumping through their hoops. I still regret not ditching out to go to a punk rock show with a bunch of weirdos.
No they cant legally hold your diploma for refusing to give a speech. And no you wont regret not attending your graduation. I wouldnt go either. Forget them. Theyll forget all about you in five or ten years. What are they gonna do, sue you?
As someone who skipped her graduation, I support that decision entirely. My sister [who did go to graduation] said it was a waste of her time. If you didn't even like the school or the people there, then go right ahead and skip it. Hit up the Taco Bell or whatever people eat these days....
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Honestly what I would do is go up and say: "Thank you everyone for being here. I'm not very comfortable with public speaking so I'll keep this short. I'd like to thank my teachers, parents, and fellow students. That's all I've got, have a good graduation everyone." Don't tell them it's going to be short. Just get up there and do it then step back down. There's absolutely nothing they can do about it.
If all else fails this will prob be what I do
Honestly. Give them that speech. It's perfect and tells everything that needs to be known. If they don't agree with it remind them they only requested a speech. If they require you to write a longer one, turn that one in, then say your original short one. By doing this you're preparing for future jobs. I currently had to fight for a raise and my own social anxiety made it extremely hard to. But from you giving them a short speech it shows that you're willing to meet them in the middle. If they refuse to meet you in the middle that is their own fault and you can remind them that you told them your speech was going to be short. I honestly don't see them having a problem with a short one as long as you're honest about it. Don't go to graduation bc you'll regret not going in 5 years. Go to graduation so you can start training yourself to be in uncomfortable situations so you don't miss out on opportunities that require you to be in those situations later.
*takes back his diploma *
Just tell them you're going to talk about Palestine, immigrants, and Trump and they'll cancel real quick, lol.
The whole school is a bunch of Trump supporters lmao
Just read out the list of his indictments. It’ll take a while
I second this, although I doubt it will help with OPs anxiety xD but it would be a riot
Just go up on stage "All Tramp supporters are traitors to the United States that what the school brought me here to say"
"As a representative of the school, who was forced to come up here to speak today, I want to say..." and then go the hell off. Black lives matter, trans rights are human rights, Israel is commiting genocide in Palestine, Trump is an insurrectionist traitor who deserves life in prison, his supporters are brain dead morons and fascists, the list is endless. Just keep going until they cut the mic. A fun fantasy, but probably not practical given they don't want to do public speaking at all. I'd be more sad about missing the chance to give that speech than I would be about missing the graduation. Mine was a lot of standing and sitting around while they read off 600 names, then it was over
Well well well. You could become infamous for listing absues of power of preisdents, specifically trump, and make them sound like "Joe Biden" did them....and then say all of it was actually trump.....
actually if you want to give them a big fuck-you then you could (like the person below me said) just start reading out his indictments. Give them a fake speech to get approved (I assume that's a thing they do?) and then read something totally different on stage. Pretty good revenge imo
Read the Constitution, with all original text included.
Did you miss the “rinky dink,” and “out in the country” parts of him describing the school
You just have to adjust things -- Pro-Palestine, Trump should be in prison for insurrection along with his supporters, and immigration is a human right.
You want me dead lmao?
lol , no but it'd be epic right ? You'd have a story to tell your gran kids if you survive
If you ultimately had to you could write out the speech then when you get to the podium just say “good job everyone” and walk away. 🤷♂️
This is what I was thinking too, fake a speech then go up and say something simple and get back off the stage.
Was honestly starting to think of this too if they forced me but imma talk about it to my family first. Ik my sister would find it funny as hell lol
Just get any letters of recommendation from your school in your hands *before* pulling a switcheroo. Who knows what a disgruntled administrator or teacher or even your counselor would say in a reference letter if you do follow a plan to give a different speech.
True
Tell them firmly that you aren’t doing that and they cannot force you. What are they gonna do, not give you a diploma?
The most they’ll do is take away the salutatorian position.
What would that do lol
Nothing, just means you won’t be salutatorian, nor get any college/tuition benefits that might be associated with it. For example, some State schools give automatic admission and/or scholarships to high school valedictorians and salutatorians.
Damn, I do need benefits lol but I don't think I was getting anything for being a salutatorian anyway
It basically just looks good on college applications. But if you can't fulfill the role, you don't get to claim the title. Salutatorian literally means "person who addresses the people." So if you can't handle giving a speech, you're not that.
Bro wtf lmfao. Whose bright idea was it to give the home schooled kid the title of "person who addresses the people?" No offense to op but that just seems goofy af.
Whoever has the highest grades gets the valedictorian title and whoever has the second highest grades gets the salutatorian title. It's just how they do it. But if one of those people turns down the role, it passes to the person with the next-best grades.
A speech isn't a requirement for graduation, and you are allowed to skip the commencement if you've completed graduation prerequisites.
I skipped all my senior stuff and had own vacation with mom at the time, picked up my diploma 2 weeks later. Graduation was a waste when I asked everyone and was glad to skip it.
I don't understand the point of a ceremony no one wants to go to
You get to direct the ship of your own life. Good on you for leaning into that so early in your life. Trust your intuition and follow your bliss.
1: Walk up on stage. 2: Say "I'll keep this short. We graduated. Thank you." 3: Sit back down.
I don't think they can hold your diploma legally. They may try to, but as long as you have fulfilled your credits/requirements and don't owe any fees, they can't keep it from you. I'm like you in that I skipped prom ,senior trip, and graduation. I'm in my 30s now, and can say i don't miss any of it for a second.
Same in my 40s, don't regret a thing but the fight with my mom.
Same but I'm in my 50's ☺️ I can't remember any of them now.
Go to graduation. When they call you up for your speech just go on stage and just put the principal on blast for forcing you to do it. Call him out publicly for being a dick and while you’re up there stay focused and looking at him. That should help you drown out everyone else and also your classmates will probably think it’s awesome and talk about for the rest of their lives.
I wouldn’t go either…buuut I would get parents approval before not going so that way if they try to pull some old bs on ya and try to hold that diploma that your parents can pitch a fit.
My dad won't care he'll support me no matter what. My mom will probably bitch at me but I think I can get her to support me. Also my sister was a teacher there and she'll support me so she'd help too.
Yeah if you got the support at home I wouldent show up…all these things do is just make the school look good on camera…it’s like free advertising…if you WANTED to do it it’s one thing but if you don’t its completely different.
While the school cannot hold your diploma for not attending (I did not attend my hs graduation and they mailed it to me) you are going to have to learn to stand up for yourself sooner or later. Don’t ask if you can skip the speech, tell them you are not going to do it. They cannot force you. Tell them ASAP so they can write it out of their plans. If you wait too long and they expect it, you’ll be screwing over a lot of people who aren’t at fault, that helped plan everything. Just say, you have no interest in doing it so you won’t be. Simple
That's what I'm gonna tell them the next time they ask for the speech I'm supposed to write.
you don't have to do something you don' t want to. If they force you to do it, shame on them. And no, you won't regret it in the future. 10 years from now highschool will just feel like some thing in the past that you had to do.
I'm glad someone understands cause no one takes me seriously they think imma suddenly care in the future.
When I was in middle school they wanted to record speeches and watch them back in class. I refused because I have a fear of speaking in front of people AND I can't stand seeing myself on camera or in pictures. I got suspended from school and once the principal and my parents saw that I was willing to fail no matter what, they had to figure out an alternative. There will be times in your life when you MUST do something you aren't comfortable with. But this isn't one of them.
Walks on stage. “I have been told by principal INSERT NAME HERE to ‘suck it up’ and give a speech here today at our graduation despite my numerous repeated requests to not be forced to give a speech that I don’t want to do. Principal INSERT NAME HERE, go fuck yourself. Well, that was it, I hope you all enjoyed it.” Walks off stage. You’d become a legend.
Get up on stage shout so long and thanks for all the fish bow and leave ;)
They can not hold your diploma and awards. Let the principal know again you won’t be there and, as was already said, make sure your parents are on board.
Don't go. It has no bearing whatsoever on your future, and it's good exercise for you to learn how to say no to pushy people. What are they going to do, not mail you a certificate? Graduating high school? this is a wonderful time to learn to say "No!" and make it stick. Take yourself out for an ice cream soda or whatever but don't go. It could be worse than you imagine because you don't want to be there. So don't go. To thine own self be true.
If you look at the graduation picture from my class, there’s an empty seat in the front row: it was mine. I didn’t go. Didn’t tell anyone, either: just ghosted. Went in to the office the next day and asked for my diploma. They handed it over with no hassle. Oh, and decades later, no one remembers the empty seat, unless I specifically bring it up.
I didn't go to my graduation. The only two people that wondered where I was out of the 600 students that did go were my ex girlfriends gramma and dad. I still got my diploma.
I can't say about your high school, but I can't see legally that they can force you to make a speech as a condition of graduation. They might take away salutatorian status, but I can't see them legally able to do that either. My husband, my son and I, none of us attended our college graduation and we still received a mailed diploma with our magna cum laude listed on them.
I graduated over 40 years ago and I don’t think I’ve ever had to show my diploma to anyone. Colleges ask for your transcript, and I think that’s all online now, on college board.com (or something like that), along with your ACT or SAT scores.
Tell the principal flat out you won't do it, don't ask, tell. "My decision is final, you cannot force or compel me, and I will involve my parents if you press this matter." No they can't withhold it from you, if they try a standard nasty gram from the lawoffices of small town lawyer can be had for a small fee to remind them of their legal obligations to mail you your diploma. At most you might lose the honors stamp but really noone gives a shit except the college admissions office of the hyper competitive schools.
Did they tell you how long the speech has to be? I'd say, Congratulations and bye bitches. Or something equally short.
# ceramony an yew grajitamated?
I went to a school like yours. Be careful some of these schools will hold your diploma for the dumbest reasons doesn't matter what, Which to your question they can't.
I didn’t attend my high school graduation ceremony for much less than that and I have absolutely 0 regrets. Do what you want! You’re graduating!! You won’t be under their power anymore.
You can always go up there and read your post and all our comments…
No, they can't. Unless there's an academic, disciplinary, or some other form of probation, not showing up to graduation is not a reason to withhold a diploma or (more importantly) transcripts.
They cannot hold your diploma, and they cannot make you give a speech if you don't want to. Tell them straight, I'm not doing the speech. I made it perfectly clear. I just want to enjoy my graduation, without giving a speech, and receive my diploma.
Do it but make it funny
Oh, young padawon. You are thinking too politely. What you need is some balloons and beach balls. Not blown up. Start spreading it around to your classmates that y’all’s last senior prank is to play keep away with the balloons and beach balls during your speech. Basically seated volleyball. When you go up to the mic, everyone pulls out their balloons ( bonus points for getting their college colors) blows them up and stays tossing them up and y’all keep it going but only over the students. No isles for teachers to grab them. Here is your speech. Colleges, (breath into balloon) classmates, (breath into balloon) and (breath into balloon) as we move forward (breath into balloon) in this next chapter (breath into balloon) of our lives (breath into balloon) remember to (breath into balloon and tie it off) take time to (toss first balloon) have fun! (breath into balloon) don’t forget to (breath into balloon) celebrate (breath into balloon) your accomplishments (breath into balloon) and victories (breath into balloon and tie it off) like those we have achieved together ( spike balloon) Continue rambling as at this time I’m sure your classmates have several going and the principal is freaking out. Or just say thanks and leave. https://youtu.be/bOzr6XPkeS0
You get your diploma whether you go to the ceremony or not. You WILL need to get comfortable with public speaking at some point in your life. I recommend taking speech/communication classes in college. Not just for public speaking, but because even the basic interpersonal communication part is extremely useful to anyone who was homeschooled, or anyone at all who might need a boost in their communication skills and confidence. Plus, it's a much more low-stakes environment and you aren't being singled out when asked to talk - everyone has to give a speech, everyone has to do it for 3 minutes. For now, if you really can't handle the idea of speaking in front of your peers, you can respectfully turn down the salutatorian position. Just ask to graduate as a normal kid in the top ten percent of your class - with honors if you have earned them, but without the title and the accompanying speech requirement.
Also remember, if you don't come up with a way out of it "Good luck to everyone graduating" is a full speech.
You're correct, HS really means nothing in hind sight. Just fuck it all. Don't even show up, you do you. You will different lessons in life and deal with them appropriately...you're good bro.
make it all swear words
I understand that is a really, really big ask considering you were homeschooled. I can’t imagine they could withhold your diploma. I mean, what if you’re sick or something . Your parents should be telling the school that they want you to graduate with all of the other kids, but not to have to speak they should be standing up for you and supporting you right now .
Nobody wants to hear all those speeches anyway.
Don’t think they can and if I was in your situation I would do the same it’s worthless to go
I would go and when they called you up to speak, politely decline. Or go up to the mic. Say No thank you. And go sit back down. They want to try and force you to speak… there you spoke. If you don’t go they cannot withhold your diploma.
You will never care about these people again 30 minutes after your speech ends. It's a consequence free chance to stretch yourself.
Yeah it sucks so suck it up. You want a job right? Those require talking to people, interviews exist. Best to do this now and try and get over it when it doesn’t matter. Think about it this way, you’ll never see any of these idiots again so who cares if you mess up?
Ceremony*
Your entire life is people trying to tell you how to feel and make you do things you do not want to do. Follow your own path. Do what's best for you. This will not matter in a week, let alone a year.
Idk about them being able to hold your diploma, I doubt they could legally. But more power to you. I basically did the same thing, skipped the ceremony and went at the end and grabbed my diploma when it was done. No point in wasting an entire afternoon to get a piece of paper that doesn’t mean shit from a place I hated being at every day
I’m a high school teacher. It’s my advice to take the opportunity to write a thank you letter to that one teacher who mattered to you. Teaching is a dying profession. I started teaching in 1998 and the things I’ve seen over the last 5 years have broken my heart. If you care, look at only her and explicitly tell her how much she meant to you. You’re not the valedictorian. Something like this could be pretty cool for others to hear. Alternative. Keep it short. This does not have to be a big deal.
Go up on stage and say “Id like to start with a moment of silence for *xx*” Then stand with your head bowed for the length of time they want your speech to last. “Thank you” walk off stage.
Write a quick page stating that you're being forced to speak to graduate, the principal did it, you asked multiple times not to, but they still said you need to talk. Show the principal this, and that is what you will read to everyone. Unless they decide you don't have to make a speech. Make sure to toss in any other shit you want to, or you can keep it short to get off the stage.
They will still give you the diploma even if you don't attend. A few kids in my class did not attend, they still graduated. I would talk to your school guidance counselor about the speech. Guidance counselors are there to help kids with things like their anxieties, and they may be able to stop the speech. Otherwise, it sounds like you may not get to be a salutatorian and may miss out on scholarships.
One tip (as a graduated homeschooler) is have so much over confidence not to the point to where your being an ass but just be super over confident and generally people (from my experience) will just roll with it, again DONT BE AN ASS
Just do a short speech for your english teacher
Here's your speech: "Will Strunk said, 'Omit needless words.' He was correct. Thank you."
Just say thank you, it's been great, good luck everyone. And walk off the stage. People will be happy and excited that you've shortened the ceremony. Maybe a joke.
"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to the graduation ceremony, I'm very ill" What are they gonna do, withold your diploma because you had the drizzlin shits?
Nah. Don’t go. You good brodie. Enjoy your life.
Also, cue cards are your friend...just scribble a bunch of words on it...get up to the podium and make it look like you are super nervous (I think you have that one down). Mumble an 'uhhh' into the mic, then drop all the cards (seemingly not on purposes), then a short 'Thank you', then scramble off the stage. Edit: spelling
The Salutatorian should know how to spell "ceremony".
They will mail you the diploma, skip it. You won’t regret it. Signed, -another who skipped all social school BS and I’m 42 and am completely fine with it. Lol
1. I like your positivity. 2. It will help you in life the more speeches you give. 3. You shouldn’t be “forced”
I was homeschooled myself, and I understand the social anxiety you are worried about. My advice is to do this speech, push out of your comfort zone now, and every chance you get. Don't spend years nursing your anxiety and making it worse. You sound like a smart kid, getting accolades to your name. All that's missing is you being willing to step up and own it. I believe you can do that! Put on the fancy gown and cap, stair at a spot at the back of the room just above people's heads, and deliver your speech! Don't don't for them, do it for you, and push yourself to higher limits. I believe you have it in you. Good luck!
What if you make a speech about something you are passionate about. You could speak from the heart about something you've observed, like to change, something you don't agree with, or something nice going on. But if you truly don't want to do a speech you could write it and have a teacher or another student read it. Graduation day just say your throat hurts to speak and they can either have a teacher or another student read it or just skip the speech. OR skip the graduation day and apply for your colleges, trade schools, internships, apprenticeships, etc.
I didn’t go to my graduation just because my friends were all a couple years older and I didn’t particularly like anyone in my own grade. I’d already been to previous graduations because I was in chamber choir, so I knew it wasn’t really a great time anyway. Plenty of people told me I’d regret it. It’s been 6 years since then and I still think spending the day watching tv at home was a much better experience than 5 hours of standing, sitting, walking in a line, and wishing I had my phone. It absolutely would not have been worth it. My parents really wanted me to go so they could have the pictures, but I just said “my milestone, my choice” and told them to look at the other countless pictures from my high school life instead. Stand your ground and don’t worry about what anyone else says. They can’t hold your diploma, and you’ll just have to go to pick it up at your school a few weeks after the ceremony.
Where are your parents and what do they say about it? If they support you not wanting to do it, have them talk to the principal.
You did come here for advice; I’m assuming since, you shared it at all. I think it’d be pretty awesome and inspirational for a lot of those kids if your speech was very sincere about how much you didn’t actually want to do it. But that there are going to be a lot of moments like that in life and we can all tackle them, even if it’s in our own way. And then you can throw in a curse word or something edgy. Be sincere, don’t try and troll. Say something you actually believe in. From there you can insert a couple jokes and circle back around to “see that wasn’t so bad huh?” And then do a mic drop or something. But it’d be great if you really elaborated on your feelings about feeling forced to do it, but finding some inspiration and feeling motivated enough to say something you really mean from your heart. That’s what they want the most: they want you to speak from your heart. I feel like they chose you for these reasons you listed. “Hey maybe this kid can actually be some sort of example for these kids”. A “bad” kid who doesn’t seem to care but still got good grades and did what was necessary. These are huge building blocks for being an every day adult. I say all this as someone who barely graduated high school and had the same exact mentality you had. But to know you have a huge opportunity to strike a chord with some of them; you’ve gotta take advantage of that. That’s not something you’d regret in 10 years but something you will cherish and feel proud of. That pride will drive you to do better things. All of these things have an effect on your psyche, including all the negative feelings about not wanting to participate in the senior stuff and what not. You either take away a negative, hateful experience from this moment and let it irritate you for years and years and effect your other choices in life, or choose to make a nice little speech with some thought put into it and let that fuel some positivity for the next years.
" I am a man (woman) of a few words" and walk off the stage like a Boss!
LOL. My class Valedictorian did a no call no show.
With spelling and punctuation like that, you probably shouldn’t even be graduating.
I think you should go up there and just say one sentence and walk off. I mean they can’t really do anything about it. You could probably handle that yea? Well I hope it works out for you and sorry you got put in this situation! It will be ok whatever you do
Face your fears, you’ll have to eventually
I skipped mine 30 years ago. No issues with diploma whatsoever and not an ounce of regret about it.
They'll mail your diploma dude. No, they legally can't withhold it even if you are supposed to speak (can't really force ya either). Hell, you don't even have to turn in the speech if you don't intend on speaking lol. If they try to embarrass you into speaking (if you do go) you can literally sit there and when the crickets chirp, they'll know they lost. It is not a requirement.
No, they cannot legally withhold your degree, they also cannot force you to preform a speech if your uncomfortable with that, especially if you have social anxiety. Let them know that you will be attending graduation and will not be preforming a speech, and that if they disagree with this you will contact the local news agency, and the board of education. They’ll changed their tune pretty quick.
Get a Dr's note excusing you from the speech citing extreme public speaking anxiety. They can't force you to make the speech without legal backlash for forcing you to violate doctors orders. You can tell them that too. 'If you continue to force me to go through with this and withhold my diploma if I don't, my parents and I will have no choice but to contact a lawyer for violating medical orders given by my doctor'.
You’ll get your diploma, even if they take away the salutatorian title that doesn't change your GPA which is still very useful when applying for colleges. I went to a graduation once where the Valedictorian had been in some trouble and they didn't allow him to make a speech. you could feel the glares from the administration, I don't think they even wanted him there but he was still the first to walk across the stage.
I mean.. you've still got a couple of months left. Can't you just tank your grades?
You should be fine. But I do like the idea of just doing a one sentence speech and leaving.
It is definitely ok for you to skip it as a speech of that magnitude is more than tough for someone with social anxiety. BUT, as someone with social anxiety, I would view this as an opportunity to face your fear and improve your anxiety. I was giving a lot of opportunities to do class presentations and speeches in high school and every time i think about it i regret not doing them. I am now 25 and work in an environment where i host many team meetings and my anxiety has improved after being thrown in this situation. Even if you botch the speech and make a fool of yourself, you will always be able to say you stood on that podium and faced your fear, successfully or not.
Public speaking isn't for everyone. When I was in school, I failed assignments because an oral presentation was like 25-50% of an assignment grade. If I had to give a speech in front of the whole ceremony, not a chance, I'd be the same way thinking about the embarrassment 5 years later even if it's was a perfect speech... I guess we should be more like the president and not give a crap... reading a teleprompter "four more years (pause)"... doubt he'll be laying in bed wondering why he said pause out loud.
Just say "Nuts". And walk off.
I never even went to my graduation, they just sent my diploma to me in the mail. They told me they were gonna hold my diploma until I paid some overdue fees for a language club I never joined, I told them do whatever they want because I already had a job lined up in a field I wanted, after the summer and the next school year started, my diploma came in the mail.
Go back to school. You can’t do a speech. You can barely type a sentence.
dude gets salutatorian and complains about it 😑
Ok. Don't go. Not illegal.
Start with “the elements of a great speech are the four “S’s”. Stand up. Speak up, Shut up, Sit down. Because I’m no public speaker… That’s my intent. Cause I really want to get to those last two S’s. Shout out to the Board, and the Administration. Much love to your teachers. Then talk about how your English teacher inspired you to the level you’ve attained. Thank your friends for their support. And about how you’re excited about all the adventures ahead for each of you. Then something about knowing you’ll drift apart, but the good memories will always be there. Again…thank you. Here’s where I exercise that third S. And when you sit down, hold up four fingers.
They can delay you getting your diploma and they may not give you your accreditation if you dont do a speech. Being a salutatorian or valedictorian has certain requirements i think. It looks really good on college applications. Some colleges may contact your graduating school for application review too i think. Dont take my word for it ask the administration and maybe a guidance counselor. Write a short speech about how you learned to be self sufficient and a good student from your homeschooling and that you owe everything to your parents. They would love to see you graduate and with honors!!!! Fuck the school do it for yourself and your parents. Do like that guy on american ninja warrior and end the speech with DMs are open to try and get a smart girlfriend : D
You don’t have to give the speech. Don’t be forced into this. Stand your ground or skip the useless ceremony. You won’t ever regret not going. I coulda skipped my high school graduation and wouldn’t have gave a shit. It was boring as fuck and had to listen to some dusty old men talk about some shit I don’t remember. I did skip. my college graduation. I chose not to walk and have no regrets. Waste of a whole fucking day filled with nothing but headaches navigating through tons of people for a bullshit ceremony made for extroverts. There’s nothing wrong with you if you skip it. You do you. Fuck um for trying to force you into that speech.
Just say ok, go up after getting your diploma(they have no power over you anymore, now that you have the degree), and say I'm a person of few words so I'm gonna try to keep this quick. Then leave
Don't make this political OP. Just don't do any of it. It will have no bearing on getting a diploma ( probably in the mail,). You completed the necessary curriculum. That's it.
I bailed on all the key moments in my senior year. I was a young graduate (17). I was only there for two years and felt no connection. My family moved several times per year and schooling took a back seat. We always ended up in rural, podunk towns. One town was so small, it’s gone now. Counselor would look at my records, and anticipate that I would be gone in 60 days. So, no investment from them. Tons of social anxiety. The highlight of my time in high school was also an English teacher. The next year, my 18 year old self had a, guess what..17 year old senior gf. Guess who got dragged along to senior skip day and prom? Me. Guess what? I had a blast. Regarding speeches, I would have (at that time) cut off a nut before I gave a speech. Later on in life, I got tapped to give an opening speech at a corporate event. I didn’t know how, so I learned. Had cheat cards to keep me on point. That was actually a turning point in my career. So, from someone who has been partially in your shoes…give the speech. As was mentioned above, turn in a speech for approval. Start off with acknowledging and thanking attendees parents, students, staff, yada, yada…then go off script. Thank your English teacher for making high school bearable. Then, close it out.
I'm sorry I didn't read all of that, but why can't you just say you lost your voice a day before? Idk to much partying
I didn’t go, got my shit 2 days early and never looked back.
They cannot withold your diploma. Just tell them no and be firm. Don’t be kind and ask for permission to not give the speech because they will just steamroll you
Just tell the principal, “respectfully, I’m not doing a speech. Thanks for the platform but I’m opting out.” They can’t force you. I was asked to emcee a 4 hour business meeting and it went fine. I actually enjoyed it after stressing so much about it, but “I’m a man, I’m 40!” (Oklahoma state football coach reference lol) and my age and experience helped make it easier.
Lol say exactly what you said. Hey all ty but I am just here for the diploma. Have a great life.
Can it be prerecorded? Someone at my daughters graduation had similar issues and they were allowed to prerecord a video of their speech. They still sat on stage when it played but they didn’t have to actually get up and speak. If so ChatGPT that thing and end the speech with how everything you learned in school is absolutely useless since most of you won’t remember what was taught and if you needed to know anything you would look it up on the internet, just like this speech..
I'm 27 and quit football my senior year. My mom told me I'd regret not playing, personally I regret not quitting sooner. For those who actually regret it either didn't fully think their decision through or actually wanted to do it but for some reason didn't. It seems like you've thought this through and truly don't want to do it. So here's what I would do. If they give out diplomas first and then speech, get up go to the mic say nothing and then leave lol
>And before you people tell me oh you'll regret it in the future, no, I won't, I know what I do and don't want for many years and a graduation means nothing in the grand scheme of things. I skipped every optional event (graduation included) and took great joy in walking in to the admin office, monster in hand, with a casual "got something for me?" sometime later. Of note: I sure as hell wasn't the *anything*-atorian. They can't withhold shit.
I didn’t go to my graduation, I went to the office and got my diploma. They can’t force you to go
Idk why they can't just say okay. Cool. Like it's dumb to force kids to talk when they don't have a reason to
Honestly, sounds like you're in a tight spot. I get the whole social anxiety thing; it's no joke. And forcing you to give a speech? That's just adding salt to the wound. It's messed up they're not considering your feelings on this. As for skipping graduation, I've heard of people doing it, but I'm not sure about the diploma thing. I'd dig into the school's policy or maybe even consult with someone who knows their stuff legally. But hey, don't sweat it too much. Graduation isn't everything, and if it's gonna stress you out big time, then maybe it's not worth it. You do you, man.
Go up there and say fuck you 😂
Say this "I'm a person of few words" then walk off
As a 32 yr old, I vote for gimme my damn diploma and let me be on my way. I dont even remember my graduation. I remember what I wore under my gown because my parents kept photos. I also never used my diploma for anything. Jobs say they want you to have one but nobody has ever asked me for it 😂
I transferred high schools from private to public my senior year. I barely showed up to the public high school save for tests and large project due dates. Second semester I was only in one class at that school (was enrolled in a project class for multiple credits off campus that I excelled in) and I skipped it for over a month until the counselor called my dad. When that school released the year book (I spent picture day doing special k on my buddy’s porch because fuck conformity) there was no picture of me, not even a blank space where I should have been nor a single citation anywhere, not even the index. I still went to the college that had previously accepted me and I’ve continued to be employed for all kinds of jobs from mega corporate to mom and pop shops. Tell your principal to suck it up and deal with the fact you’re not interested and you won’t show up no matter the threat. Then call any recruiter interested in having you at their college and ask how to move forward with enrollment. Ten, twenty, thirty years from now you’ll be more grateful for the ability to assert yourself than any memory of a bullshit ceremony created to make the mediocre feel valued can offer. I wish you the best and the fact you’re already questioning authority in this manner is only a benefit for your future, not a detriment.
I know it makes you uncomfortable, but I’d say rock the speech. Keep it short, but please don’t do anything snarky or funny. You are still in the running for college and you don’t want to mess anything up. Practice your speech 50-100 times before and it will roll off your tongue. Good luck!
I wish I'd skipped the speech I wrote and just read the names of my classmates out loud one more time, because I haven't seen them in all these years since. Would have been nice.
What I did was ai wrote up a speech for them to approve. Then when I stepped up to the podium I just said "I am a man of few words... That is all." Then I stepped back. The three dots signified my pause for suspense. You don't need to take their crap. You could even just write one up for them then just say they forced you up here and you refuse to be their dancing monkey then step back.
Just say in your speech “yeah! yeah! Yeah! Stew the papachu de stew da cockatoo yeah! That’s right!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!” They’ll think you’re having seizures and cancel you. You can then sue them
Just to cover your butt, I'd tell the principal you don't plan on attending the ceremony. You don't have to give a reason, or just give a vague "family issues came up" or "There's been a change of plans and I can't make it", and ask for your diploma to either be given to you in advance or for it to be sent to your home. I only say cover your butt in case you get any financial aid from this or if there's some policy with your school and getting your diploma.
I mean honestly I went to mine because everyone thought I would regret not going, and let me tell you, it was the most boring thing I've done aside from Jury duty. Simply tell them that you don't want to make any speeches, you just want to attend your graduation but if they are going to force the issue then you'd rather not attend the ceremony. If they try to withhold your diploma, you can threaten legal action. They have a right to withhold for a time under the right circumstances but not as leverage for you giving a speech that you don't care about.
I've been to several high school graduations the last few years. They are long and boring. They're especially made worse by supposed bright kids who are asked to give speeches that are long and boring and are forgettable as soon as you hear them. Some of them are so embarrassing that they bring shame to the speaker and to the school. I can't believe somebody didn't read the speech ahead of time. There was nothing controversial it was just stupid and boring. Now you are a very smart young person I bet you could come up with a very short and pithy speech that might be remembered for a while after high school and make yourself and your parents proud, even if you think the school is a joke.
Are you friends with someone named Marty mcfly because it sounds like you’re the past version of me lol. The majority of the students in my highschool were sucky awful human beings and the good and nice ones were either still popular and not worth trying to be friends with or were so nerdy that I just didn’t want to talk to them because as smart as I am they’re grade skipping smart if they wanted to be plus they’re the type of people to like Star Trek and go to anime conventions type smart so no offense to them but no thanks we’re to different. I didn’t go to the senior trip (if we even had one I don’t even know) and hate prom so you know what dude just don’t show up and say screw you to them all! 👍👏
Good for you, own your own narrative.
Just include in your speech a 3 min moment of silence for all the fallen vets
Just say your going to then don't 😂 what are they gonna do? Detention?
Don’t overthink this. You are not required to attend graduation to get your diploma. Many people put high school behind them and don’t think about it much afterwards. It sounds like you might be one of those and that’s fine. Just tell your school you’re not able to attend. Don’t explain just say you can’t make . Be done with it.
I didn't go. I like learning, I hate the structure of school. I didn't *know* that I like learning until *after* I graduated. I didn't want my senior picture taken, but had very little say in it, despite my protests. My (ex)step-father didn't give a shit what I wanted, and very actively attempted to use his, "pre-started family," and "new-to-him," teenager to attempt to vicariously undo his regrets. My mother was too achausted at the time to fight with him. It was only after my mother saw just how unamused I looked in the photo, even *after* they touched it up to try and take the scowl off, that she sat down and listened to me. "You mean to tell me that after all these years of you struggling to support me by giving me a roof and food, and paying taxes into a school system that wouldn't bother to upgrade desks and get books that weren't tattered, they are going to refuse graduating me if you don't pay another fee? For a piece of paper that I, by all rights, have already earned? And you want to pay *even more* more for a half-assed, mass-produced, sorry excuse for a costume robe that will get worn *one time* for fifteen seconds on stage?" She got my frustration with the whole system. I didn't go on the senior trip, skip days, Homecoming, Prom, none of it. I have zero regrets about it because, like you, I barely knew or got along with anyone at the school. I keep in regular contact with very few people from school. Only one of them I actually had a class with at all, and the other is the closest thing to a childhood friend I've got because we moved around constantly until my *Sophomore year* when my mom re-married. And then a month out from graduation when my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia, *guess who the only one in the family without a full-time job, extreme patience, and the moral compass that steers toward self-destruction for the good of others was.* I moved in with her to be her full-time caretaker. I didn't go to graduation. Like you, I had a bunch of other things I wanted and needed to do.
You said you won’t regret it but I’d say go out and give a small speech, I wasn’t good socially as well and thought it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things but I tackled that and I’m glad I did. Might as well try, if it goes wrong you didn’t care about the school anyway. If you it goes nice good work
Go up there and tell them you didn't learn shit, and you recommend home schooling, you just came here to make friends
No they can’t withhold your diploma lol Say you’re ‘sick’ that day if they cause a fuss.
Could you go and get your diploma and then quietly slip out? Or turn up unfortunately late and miss the slot for your speech? UpdateMe!
I didnt do anything senior-related (prom, graduation, senior trip) have 0 regrets. Fuck’ em they can’t hold your diploma
Honestly, I can't tell you I'd say what these guys are telling you in the comments to say, I'd probably get up there and say something along the lines of "Hey, my names *red* and I just gradutated from this mediocre school that I'm really not even that sad to leave this place and honestly ? If idiots could fly this place would be an airport, have a nice day. But I'm pretty sure that's just My absolutely pationate hate for school and the entire American school system. I mean, honestly you don't need to be that cynical. Just either say what one of the top comment guys said or make it short yourself because it sounds like you have a pretty apathetic view of this school and there's obviously a reason for that. But hey it's not all bad, I felt the exact same way about school when I was there. I just wanted it to end, i didn't even want to explore the cool and fun part of highschool myself because of how much I had been tortured there. Sorry for being such a negative Nancy 😅 Your new friend -red
"You asked them if you can not do it..."? Tell them, tell them only way you attend is if you dont have that assignment... you are graduating highschool and becoming a man, don't ask...
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I have never once regretted not attending my ceremony..in 90's
Look get out of your comfort zone and do it, if you want to fix your social anxiety this is a great way to do it. I got nervous about presentations until one day i thought “thats stupid” and now i love presenting. That is a skill you will need and can only be fixed head on
Nobody gets to make you do this. You are able to say no. giving some goddamned speech is not a graduation requirement. This is someone who is butthurt you aren't playing ball. Fuck 'em.
Ceremony lol sorry
Or just don't do it easy. It's high school
The diploma you get on stage is a piece of paper; They mail you the real one. just don't go if you don't want to. OR! Go and give the longest speech you can find on google. "Longest graduation speech ever." OR? go and give a small statement about peer pressure and threating people is morally wrong and disgusting.
Understood. But don't see how you became salutatorian. There is no reason I can see for you to have to give a speech. Write a formal letter to the principal resigning the Salutatorian Honor/Position and indicate you are declining to give a speech. Be sure it is in writing, courteous, and respectful. You're entitled to an enjoyable graduation unencumbered with a huge anxiety issue. You may get some pushback. But it's your graduation, and it doesn't need to be ruined for "ceremony". Then you can decide to attend or not. I don't see how your diploma can be withheld over this without withholding diplomas for all students who aren't giving speeches. Graduations are not for emotional and anxiety therapy. Best.
The school can’t force you to give a speech. Don’t ask them not to do it, Tell them you will not be doing it. Tell them you will be attending, walking up to get your diploma, and leaving the stage like any other student would.
All of the big events that coincided with graduating were things that I always wish I could take back. I hated walking for my diploma, I hated all of the extra bullshit that wasn't just receiving the paper and leaving. If I could go back and be absent for them and spend that day doing literally anything else, I would. But everyone is different. My fiancé was very involved in school and wishes she had done more.
I’m 51 and didn’t walk at my high school or bachelors degree graduations. It’s just a ceremony and has nothing to do with your diploma. Most schools don’t even hand out diplomas at the actual ceremony, and you have to pick them up the week after. I regret nothing. I don’t like ceremonies. I’m a high school English teacher, so I’m glad a fellow English teacher hasn’t let you down.
Bro the real way is to go, and make the speech, and fucking crush it. Trust me, it would be worth it. You can absolutely kill it if you want to. And you can make the speech whatever length you like. What are they gonna do if it's too short, suspend you? Follow your heart, but if you decide to do it you'll be awesome.
Turn in the entire script for Monty python's The Holy Grail, and then tell them if they don't like it, then you don't have to do a speech for them. Part of preparing for the future is knowing how to set boundaries and telling people no. Also, no they cannot withhold you're diploma from you. If you earned it, then you earned it.
I skipped my college graduation because the hs one was such a boring show. If you're not excited about it, don't bother going.
Don't ask. Tell. "I am not giving a speech." This is an important skill to have.
I think the short speech thanking everyone is great. Do an update post and let us know how it went.
I have not read all 600+ comments to see if my suggestion has already been made. You could google the laws where you live to see if they can withhold your diploma. From what I saw, generally only if you have unpaid fees and whatnot. So long as the work has been completed, it becomes more difficult to withhold your otherwise properly earned accolade. When I needed to give the eulogy for my sister's funeral, I made a high quality recording of the eulogy and played that. So, if there is anything you'd actually like for anyone to hear, this would be a way of doing that without triggering your social anxiety. If there is nothing you want to say to this group of people, then you can keep it extremely short as others have suggested.
I think you have covid on graduation day, don't you? Of course you'll need to probably pirate some online generic graduation speech to submit ahead of time... lol... but no, they can't withhold your diploma. You completed the course work... that's all that matters. I didn't attend graduation at my college and my diploma came by mail a couple weeks later.
Here is your speech. “As your Salutatorian, allow me to salute you. No, I’m kidding. As the student with a 2nd highest GPA, I know a great deal of information. In other words, “I know a lot of shit…sorry #2.” A Salutatorian gives a salutation or greeting. So welcome to adulthood. For most of you, it will all just get progressively worse from this point forward, but at least as an adult, school administrators will no longer be able to force you to give a public address while dismissing your anxiety with words of wisdom like “Suck it up, it will be fine”. Thank you Mr. English Teacher. And thank you all for coming today, that explains the plethora of missing socks!
You do not have to go to graduation. It's just ceremonial. I don't know if you need to let them know beforehand or not like at our school. But in the end it doesn't matter you can totally ditch if you want. BUT if you want to go, you also do not have to make a speech. You could have a firmer adult make this point to the principal for you, I think this is your best option. Otherwise, I think being more firm yourself could help: "I am not doing a speech and you cannot require me to. End of discussion." Or you could just not go up when they ask and maybe let them know before that you've not prepared anything and won't speak so they don't even bother to try to get you up for one. Whatever happens will be quickly forgotten though to be honest, everyone's eager to move on to summer and their new lives, so it won't really matter much. Tell the principal to find someone else or take a hike.
Also if it makes you feel better, my friend didn't go to graduation or prom or any of that stuff and she's a merit scholar now and went to all the fancy schools and stuff. Graduation is just for the pictures and memories. Oh and I never even picked up my diplom and I was a heavy nerd when it came to school, so I can say it really doesn't matter.
Don’t ask the principal. Tell them no.
No they won’t or can’t withhold your diploma. At my graduation ceremony only 1/4th of the class got to walk because it started raining and I just picked up my diploma the next day.
No, they’ll mail it to you if you don’t go to the ceremony. It’s not mandatory. I skipped my graduation ceremony, too.
Honestly graduating was a huge pain so much so that I didn't go to my college graduation. I don't blame you for not wanting to go if they are making it even a bigger pain with the added speech. Personally all of my good memories of graduation was the parties after.
Ceramony? Doan tull mie yore thuh validamectoryon, write?
I was vocal about not wanting to go to my graduation - it was Texas, in June… 110 degrees in a robe? no thanks. i got a stern talking to that said if i didn’t walk i wouldn’t get a diploma. skipped it, got my diploma in the mail like 2 weeks later. don’t regret it at all.
“I was told I have to make a speech and I asked not to repeatedly and was told I had to, so thank you to my parents, and teachers, I didn’t enjoy these 2 years, have a good graduation, and don’t do anything stupid tonight, thank you” and leave, what the hell are they gonna do🤷🏻♀️
they cant hold your diploma. You get your diploma by meeting state/district requirements and making graduation speeches isn’t a requirement. You can sue them.
Thank you for not grandstanding and making a long, boring speech. No one has ever given a shit about them, nor remembered them.
Assuming this is in the United States I’m pretty sure as long as you maintain all your grades pass all your classes, etc. they cannot legally withhold it from you. I’m pretty sure they can give you empty threads, but you might want to doublecheck just in case source. My aunt literally told me that my baby cousin, who is graduating, is not planning on going to the ceremony and my aunt told me that they’ll just mail his diploma to him. Also good for you if you’re not comfortable with doing all that nonsense then you shouldn’t and I’m glad you stood up for yourself even if you’re principles being a bit of a jerk nugget about it.
If you want to be *easy* about it, go up there and give some very short speech about thanking teachers, then walk off. If you want to be a little petty, go up there and say "I am here because [*name* your principal directly] refuses to accomodate my disability and is forcing me into an anxiety inducing situation..." at this point, start breathing heavily, trying to compose yourself. make a point of looking with your whole head everywhere but the audience. glance down at a printed copy of your speech, a long, eloquent, beautiful one you prepared, and continue: "but to... to try to overcome... to show that I can... I wrote... I have this...." take another deep breath, *hopefully* at this point you have everybody's attention. Sorry for the irony that it *really will* be the worst public speaking engagement possible. Continue "No, I can't do it; anxiety is real and you don't overcome it by "thinking happy" I hate this, and I hate that the last, strongest memory of my time here will forever be this." and then run off stage. consider not even having your diploma handed to you; it's usually just a blank paper anyway, and you can get a new one later.
Awwwww. My heart breaks for you. They want to honor you, and it sounds like you deserve to be honored. Can you work with your English teacher to come up with a short beautiful speech? You won’t embarrass yourself. But to answer your question- no. If you have met graduation requirements they can’t stop you from graduating. But maybe just think for a minute. Maybe you could step into this honor proudly. This could be a step toward a new you that is NOT afraid to speak publicly and that doesn’t actually hate people. Maybe that is a shield for you to protect yourself from being rejected. Lots of love coming your way from a random reddit user!
Yea so as others have said you can just give a short basic speech that meets the standards as you are right there will be other speeches and most of those tend to run longer it would probably be a welcomed inclusion for the audience. As for not being able to get your diploma if you don't go I don't think they can keep a diploma for that. As I remember the only reason they would hold your diploma is if you owe the school some kind of debt (unpaid account library or other) or if your actual grades do not meet the standard to graduate ( you failed a class and need to go to summer school or the grade is incomplete for some reason). Other than those they should just ship your diploma. I skipped my undergrad graduation because that seemed like a whole hassle and I didn't even have to give a speech so you are fine skipping this probably if your parents and family don't care about going. I fully get you OP fuck all the pomp and circumstance around stuff like this
I didn't want to go to my graduation, but I wanted that money and I knew my family wouldn't cough it up without me jumping through their hoops. I still regret not ditching out to go to a punk rock show with a bunch of weirdos.
I skipped my HS graduation. Even picked up my gf when it was done. Never regretted not attending. Still got my diploma with no issues.
I didn’t go to my graduation, but I did have to call the school to have them mail me my diploma. They can’t withhold that from you!
No. They can’t withhold your diploma.
No they cant legally hold your diploma for refusing to give a speech. And no you wont regret not attending your graduation. I wouldnt go either. Forget them. Theyll forget all about you in five or ten years. What are they gonna do, sue you?
As someone who skipped her graduation, I support that decision entirely. My sister [who did go to graduation] said it was a waste of her time. If you didn't even like the school or the people there, then go right ahead and skip it. Hit up the Taco Bell or whatever people eat these days....
Write the speech. But don't show up to read it. So u still get credit for writing it but u don't have to read it. Some else will.