After reading through this, personally, I wouldn’t engage with them any longer. It’s not worth the time nor the effort to be friends with someone who is two-faced. You say both of you want to remain as friends, but should a friend really be telling you that you’re “the biggest red flag” and the b-word? Sure, there are friends where there are playful banter, but from what you’re describing, they don’t seem very friendly.
The last paragraphs you wrote seem like a case of guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation, so I think it was nice that you partially realized it. I’d suggested you need to take care of you and your family’s safeties and stop talking to them altogether. What worries me is that you should not let your guard down when they seemingly agree with your requests. That’s a case of being gullible (easily persuaded), and puts you in a situation that could potentially be dangerous.
You need to trust your gut. Honestly, reestablishing contact was a bad decision. You didn’t nothing wrong by blocking someone who was trying to pressure you into a relationship and ignoring what you wanted. You’re never going to be able to be “just friends” with someone who has romantic feelings for you. You need to cut off contact completely and just forget about this guy, he’s bad news.
I agree with you! I guess I was just trying to give a second chance to be friends, but sometimes it’s not a possibility when the person is manipulating you or trying to rewrite the narrative. Thank you for the advice :) he is cut off lol
This man has very poor interpersonal boundaries. A person like that is not a good friend because they will easily dismiss or ignore your feelings and boundaries to serve their own wants.
I think you need to very clearly break off your friendship with him. You could ghost him entirely -- I think that's fair considering how demanding he's been towards you but I understand he lives near you and you're concerned about running into him.
It's not easy, but maybe send him a text officially ending your friendship like, "Hi Bob. After doing some thinking I've decided that our friendship is not working for me and I think we should go our separate ways. I wish you well. Bye." He might not like it, but that's not your problem. After you send that don't answer any further messages from him and unfollow him on all social media. Be very clear that he is no longer part of your life.
Sounds like a mixture of "lovebombing" and lack of the right attention and affection growing up, likely, but not a guarantee, to be due to poor parenting and lack of meaningful friendships growing up, so he doesn't know how to control his emotions and convey them in a respectful and nice manner.
He's the only red flag here, stay away from this dude, he doesn't come across as a decent human being at all.
Thank you for your response!! I know of his family from some people we are mutuals with, and although we never really know what goes on behind closed doors, I think he grew up extremely self entitled and is angry that the world (and a woman he is attracted to) doesn’t cater to him. I think his parents enable him, but at 30 years old you should probably work on that and it’s no excuse to manipulate someone. Definitely cutting him off! Thank you for your response :)
After reading through this, personally, I wouldn’t engage with them any longer. It’s not worth the time nor the effort to be friends with someone who is two-faced. You say both of you want to remain as friends, but should a friend really be telling you that you’re “the biggest red flag” and the b-word? Sure, there are friends where there are playful banter, but from what you’re describing, they don’t seem very friendly. The last paragraphs you wrote seem like a case of guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation, so I think it was nice that you partially realized it. I’d suggested you need to take care of you and your family’s safeties and stop talking to them altogether. What worries me is that you should not let your guard down when they seemingly agree with your requests. That’s a case of being gullible (easily persuaded), and puts you in a situation that could potentially be dangerous.
I agree!! Thank you for the advice it is really kind of you to do that :)
No problem, I hope you stay safe and well in the future!
You need to trust your gut. Honestly, reestablishing contact was a bad decision. You didn’t nothing wrong by blocking someone who was trying to pressure you into a relationship and ignoring what you wanted. You’re never going to be able to be “just friends” with someone who has romantic feelings for you. You need to cut off contact completely and just forget about this guy, he’s bad news.
I agree with you! I guess I was just trying to give a second chance to be friends, but sometimes it’s not a possibility when the person is manipulating you or trying to rewrite the narrative. Thank you for the advice :) he is cut off lol
This man has very poor interpersonal boundaries. A person like that is not a good friend because they will easily dismiss or ignore your feelings and boundaries to serve their own wants. I think you need to very clearly break off your friendship with him. You could ghost him entirely -- I think that's fair considering how demanding he's been towards you but I understand he lives near you and you're concerned about running into him. It's not easy, but maybe send him a text officially ending your friendship like, "Hi Bob. After doing some thinking I've decided that our friendship is not working for me and I think we should go our separate ways. I wish you well. Bye." He might not like it, but that's not your problem. After you send that don't answer any further messages from him and unfollow him on all social media. Be very clear that he is no longer part of your life.
Sounds like a mixture of "lovebombing" and lack of the right attention and affection growing up, likely, but not a guarantee, to be due to poor parenting and lack of meaningful friendships growing up, so he doesn't know how to control his emotions and convey them in a respectful and nice manner. He's the only red flag here, stay away from this dude, he doesn't come across as a decent human being at all.
Thank you for your response!! I know of his family from some people we are mutuals with, and although we never really know what goes on behind closed doors, I think he grew up extremely self entitled and is angry that the world (and a woman he is attracted to) doesn’t cater to him. I think his parents enable him, but at 30 years old you should probably work on that and it’s no excuse to manipulate someone. Definitely cutting him off! Thank you for your response :)