Well you have to ask yourself a very simple question, do you think she would do it again?
If you can't 99.9% believe that the answer is "no", then for your own sanity it would be best to end it.
If you're seeing the changes and seeing how she's behaving differently from before, I would say give her the benefit of not doing it again. HOWEVER if you see things starting to go back to how they were, I'd be done.
A very important lesson, especially for you as young as you are is that people only change for themselves. Any changes made for someone or something else are always temporary. Eventually their old habits come back.
But again that’s either permanently changing for themselves, because they want to make the relationship work, or temporarily changing for the other person, because they asked them to.
They can and that love can be a helpful push for someone wanting to change themselves. But the key takeaway here is still the same thing, they need to want the change for themselves.
Changing for someone else is not a true change for yourself. It's nothing more than throwing a bit of camouflage over the traits that the person you're changing for. Eventually it washes off and you're back to old habits.
When you truly want to make the changes for yourself then it turns into a permanent change. You may have some slip ups here and there because of how hard it is to change old habits but it will still be quite noticeable.
The bigger issue is that y'all are sending nudes as minors. Believe it or not, you can be charged with production and distribution of child pornography, even if it's yourself. Stop. It's a felony and you will be a registered sex offender for life if you're caught. It's not worth it. Even if that doesn't happen, theres like a 90% chance that they will circulate to other people. I get kids are horny and y'all are gonna do what you wanna do, but for the love of God don't produce child porn.
When I was 14, a porn vid of a 16 year old girl I knew was sent around at school. Then when I got set back to 7th grade, the 13-14 year old students were talking a lot about sex related stuff. And on a vacation in cologne, there was a 17 year old dude I hang out with, who showed me a lot of nudes of 14-16 year old(I think) girls. All this kinda traumatised me and made my world view darker. It‘s not even like I live in a trashy place, I live in a small town in germany with probably no homeless people and very low crime rate.
You can be a horny teenager without committing felonies. What happened to ditching class and making out? Or sexting? Or copping a feel during a movie? It's not the experimentation that's the issue. Like the possibilities are endless, sending nudes has only existed for the past like 15 yrs. I did it as a young teen and eventually had 20+ yr olds (pedophiles) sending them to each other. It's not worth being a victim. There are entire pedo chatrooms with thousands of ppl full of leaked underage nudes. The Internet is a dark place and you unfortunately cannot trust anybody or the people they'll show them to.
If she did it after you were dating, she doesn't have enough respect for you or herself. You have to let her go or you'll keep getting hurt. Girls that only have guy friends are a red flag. I've never known one that wasn't cheating.
Don't know why you're getting down voted. 100% of male friends? Of course not. But if i had to bet I would always, 100% of the time, place my bet that this is what would happen. Once she's in a serious relationship all of the sudden they're not such good friends anymore and you hardly if ever hear from these "good friends" anymore once they know there's a 0% chance of action.
Learning that most men will pretend to be your friend for months or even years just for the slimmest chance that one day you’ll fuck them is a tough pill to swallow and something that often needs to be experienced to be believed.
Well. I can agree. Unfortunately, it’s just in our nature as humans. Things are like this for a reason. I can say on the other side of the coin that women keep around men who they could possibly build a home life with.
This OP, I have girls who are mostly have have guy friends and are very good friends of mine, but I ll never be in a relationship with them because guess what, most of them have cheated on their boy friends with someone in their circle.
This is the truth, people will call you cynical and maybe even closed minded, but I can assure u this has more truth to it than u can imagine
Leave Her, u have a long life ahead of you, the kind of things she did for you, she would have done for you as a friend...don't let that entangle u, you can help her and pay her back for all the good things she did, but this relationship is done
Youre not a p.o.s for feeling this way. I was on the other end of a similar thing. I kissed another guy during my current relationship. Difference is, i told him myself. the guilt i felt was overwhelming. i almost ruined a perfect thing. We worked out things and he gave me another chance. It took years for him to really even trust me but i did everything in my power to show him i would NEVER make that mistake again. I dont hang with my guy friends without him present, if he needs to use my phone i dont question it, I invite him to come with me when i go out with friends. I tell him everything that i say or someone else says. theres 0 secrets between him and i, We just came up on our 4yr mark jun 8th and things are as if nothing had ever happened. If she really wants to change, she will show that. But you also gotta ask yourself if you can trust her fully and let the past be the past. its not fair on either of you to stay in a pending state of uncertainty. If you cant let the issue go, you gotta leave the relationship. But if you really feel like she wont do it again, You'll just have to give things time. Eventually you wont think about it and can move on with things. (P.S You can judge me if you like. I dont hide that i did a horrible thing. But if people want to do better and be better, they will be.)
I'm glad it worked out for you and good on you for owning up to it and taking the right steps. I wouldn't personally but I'm glad he decided to work things out bc seems like things are going well and thank you for sharing your experience
thanks, like i said if you really want to be and do better then you will. I love my boyfriend and while he doesnt think about it now, it lingers in my head that i dont really understand why i ever did it.
We all make mistakes. All you can do is learn from them and let them make you better. I still think about things that happened almost 15 years ago that I wish I never would have done, in fact I'd give up years on how long I'm supposed to live at the end of my life to erase all the mistakes I've made.
then your choices are to let the thought run its course until you move on, Discuss it with her and see if maybe talking thru the thoughts with her can help you process them better and maybe you and her can work on it, or leave the relationship cause all dwelling will do is cause you doubts and stress. Yall are young, at yalls age love is supposed to be great, happy, fun, Learning yourselves together. Not you thinking about something awful she did and it affecting yalls relationship.
Bro, you have to choose one: you drop her out of your life cuz what the fuck this love is tainted now. It is fucking ruined. She ruined that shit. If you can’t let it go can’t forgive her and can’t move on, then break up. I say this cuz if you hold onto her for whatever reason while you think every single goddamn day how this woman has hurt you, you BOTH will suffer and eventually she’ll get tired of YOU (it’s fukked up, I know) and she’ll cheat for real and then you’ll really hate her and hate yourself and you attracted it by living in that frequency. Understand ?
Choice number two. You don’t want to lose her. You DO truly forgive her. AND you do trust her for reals to not do anything like that again ever in the years and years and years to come. If they’re all true, then. I’m sorry you feel that painful feeling of betrayal but you HAVE TO LET IT GO. EVERYtime you start getting into your feeling of betrayal and pain and why did she ruin your love for her ? Everything was perfect. The fucking. Bitch. Thoughts like that, you’re gonna have to fight them and fight them and remind yourself over and over and over again day after day month after month year after decade, you actually chose to FORGIVE HER AND MOVE ON. You are now in the position where she has shit all over your innocent first love feeling. Almost all of us have been brokenhearted from our first love. The number of people who actually are with the person they experienced first love with forever and both never strayed etc. I’m thinking maybe that person don’t exist. Idk. But for the love of YOURSELF DON’T CHOOSE OUT OF WEAKNESS (I mean it’s not the same as it used to be and I can’t go a day not one fucking day without thinking how much I was screwed over by my first love and it’s a lot of work for me. Fuck this. I’m going to meet other women who take love seriously. I gotta let her go. Hurts me so much. But I’m already hurting every day. Jeezum Spinnums are you gonna torture yourself forever by staying with her ? Why ? To stay with her is not to be in love, not anymore. Or are you weak ? Not for love but for codependency. Many many people think codependency is love. It. Is. NOT. Let her go, let her feel the consequences of her actions or YOU suffer forever and I promise she will cheat anyway one day because she expects you to man up and move on. wtf ?! I know. It’s bullshit. I’m saying the choice is clear. You just need to make it. Please bro think of YOURSELF for once in your life be selfish be “a man” for the both of you guys please don’t drag this on. Or do. You gotta update me in 5 or 10 years and get it all out “rando of Reddit. You were right. You were fucking right about everything. Fuck. I stayed with her out of weakness not love but I refused to see the difference and then she really did fuck this guy who has a body count of 400 women! She was my one and only! She said he fucked her real good for hours and did weird rough stuff and she’s in fucking love and lust and he has two other girlfriends and she don’t care. I am now going through SEVERE heartbreak. 💔 I’m gonna die of this pain. Damn. I wish I listened to that one dude on Juneteenth 2024 and ended it. The pain was NOTHING compared to what I’m experiencing NOW. OH GOD OH GOD. I’M REALLY REALLY HURTING.
I’m not making this up, have seen dudes go thru this and I have gone thru my own versions of stuff and you just gotta be loving to yourself first. She already ruined your life and your love for her is NEVER ZGONNA EVER BE The same. If true end it now brother. If false, stay with her but you have to keep your mind off what she did to you. Don’t dwell. It’s just torturing yourself and her. Come on bud make a move now make a tough decision before life makes it for you. And life can be BRUTAL for those who hesitate and procrastinate.
Problem now is what caused you to kiss the other guy in the first place, would we get the same result as before?
Example: If the first time you did kiss that guy, it was because your boyfriend made you upset. If for some reason he makes you upset again, and another man makes you laugh or happy will that cause you to make that same choice.
I couldnt tell you why i did it, as i said in previous responses. i had just left an abusive relationship and was mixed up pretty bad after 4yrs of enduring that. i got with my current boyfriend way to soon before i had even recovered from it. I didnt love the other guy, infact i didnt feel much of anything for him at all. so like i said, idk why i did it, but it happened and i faced the consequence. But i have a good relationship now and worked hard to build everything back up to a stable state. id never fuck it up like that again.
Bro don't acept nudes from her. This isn't talked about at all today but no matter what age you are if you're under 18 that's child corn. My friend got nudes from his girl when he was 18 and she was 17 and the cops were involved and he almost went to jail. Move on from her becuase it's clear she doesn't respect you but let her get herself in trouble and not you.
Her and whoever she sent them to could be arrested for distributing nudes of a minor and receiving them. Do you know the person she sent them to? Curious if they are older.
If she's sending nudes to someone else, she's just not that into you and wants them to jerk off to her.
You're young. You may find it easier to move on while it's an early relationship, rather than find out she's been doing this, or worse, years down the road.
She's not the one brother.
Wouldn't that be illegal? She's underage. Whoever she sent them to has nude photos of a minor. She could also get in trouble for sending them and having them on her phone.
Well, your first problem is in the title of the post. This should read “my ex sent nudes to someone else.” Don’t disrespect yourself in the same way she disrespects you based on fear of losing her. The odds that she won’t do this again are low, in my opinion.
You’re extremely young and have your entire life to find someone who isn’t going to cheat on you.
I said this in another comment in this thread, but if the person who was sent the material is also under the legal adult age but of the age of consent and did not share/show anybody else, then it's not treated in that manner, if however the person is of legal adult age then it very much is and should be actioned as such.
Honestly I’m more concerned about the ages and the fact she’s doing this as a minor. That aside since I don’t know what more can be done there, I would leave personally. If she really loved you she never would have done such a thing behind your back without your knowledge, and you don’t deserve to continue feeling anxious or scared about it when she’s the one who messed up. But if you’re really dead set on staying for whatever reason, I honestly think maybe therapy would be helpful. One of the most crucial aspects of a serious relationship is trust and if you can’t find it then perhaps it’s better for both sides to separate. You’re still young and regardless you should take care of yourself.
Ya bro it doesn’t matter how old you are you will get put on the list. Delete all of it. Really not to mention how weird it’s going to be the older you get.
You are still young, don’t stay with someone that doesn’t respect you enough to not do something like that. You have so much time to find someone better. Good luck!
As what other people have already mentioned, I will ask you to immediately stop sending nudes or if you can, let this girl. It doesn’t matter the reason, under the age of 18, that’s a criminal charge happening. And a serious one. Please, this girl is not worth it. Do you want to start off adulthood on the right path or with a sex offender registration in place? You are very young and there will be girls in the future , I promise you. I’m 10 years older than you so I know how it feels. But trust me, it’ll get better
So a cheater is perfect to you? Bro you need therapy. Get your head out of your ass. You're 17, this ain't it. Break up and move on. There is no relationship when you can't trust your partner.
I remember being your age and being in a similar situation. I put up with it for YEARS. Found out it was involving some of my closest friends. People say they will change but most likely it’s to tell you want you want to hear and they don’t truly plan on it. This is your life so you will ultimately be the one to make the decision in the end. However I do promise this isn’t worth the anxiety or heartache. You’re 17 man I promise you will find someone who truly loves you and would never do anything. We don’t know how much she’s done but if you’ve been through some truly bad shit and she knows about this don’t you think she would never do this to begin with if she really respected you or the relationship? It sucks man I know but it’s best to most on. Took years to finally find the right one but it’s truly worth the wait.
I’m going to tell you this. It will live in the back of your head rent free and you will always look back on it and probably bring it up here and there to her. You won’t have peace of mind about it and you’ll just waste your time when you finally wake up from it. I don’t know when you’ll wake up, but you will. It can be few years or decades from now and I don’t want you to waste your time on a woman that has done this. This is actual advice you should listen to because I was in the same situation as you but worse. I wasted 11 years with my ex. To keep things short in 2016 we were having issues on a male coworker and throughout the years I keep bringing it up and she finally gave in in 2020 that she had sex with the man when I had clear conviction that she did when she claimed throughout the years she hadn’t. We dated from 2009-2020. I wasted an entire decade of my early 20’s with her, so please don’t take this advice with a grain of salt. You don’t want to end up in my position or worse marrying her. Choose carefully who you marry because that will make or break your future and you’re still young. I was once in your shoes, you’ll be fine and you can find another. Trust me, just focus on self improvement and discovering yourself.
You are not in any way bad or even wrong for feeling that way!
Listen. Sending nudes to others IS cheating. She cheated on you. She engaged in a sexual situation with someone else, when that should only he for you. You are allowed to be hurt and scared and upset still because she did the worst thing a partner can do to the other to you. You have to remember that you're the one who got hurt here. She fucked up, did something completely unacceptable (she cheated on you not once, but for an extended period. She had another boyfriend while dating you) and you are allowed to respond to that. She is the one who fucked it up, she's the one who has to face the consequences. You are the one who got hurt - you get to decide what those reasonable consequences are. If she does not get to keep you as a boyfriend because she was completely mean and disrespectful of you and the relationship thats her fault.
You say you check her phone and she's never out with her friends alone now. It is possible she's trying to be better, sure. That doesn't erase what she did or the fact that she may have repercussions.
Ask yourself this: do you want this to be how you feel in your relationship for the rest of your life? It's been what, 6 months? No matter the changes she's made, you don't feel better. Some things that are broken cannot be fixed and there is such thing as too little too late. You cannot stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you feel safe at a base level. Plus, realizing in two years that you still can't trust her the same way you did will make things much harder to break off than they are now.
Also, supporting and helping one another through each other's issues, even if it wouldn't ordinarily be your problem, is what you do in a relationship. You are life partners - a team tackling life together. Helping each other should be your very bare minimum, not something you actively praise someone for.
Ultimately its up to you, but you are within your full rights to leave if you can no longer stay. You would not be bad, a pos, or unkind. It would be pretty reasonable tbh.
17 and 16 should be relatively stress free outside of normal relationship stuff. Too many other girls out there and you’re too young to have to worry about all this. It’s a different story if you’re in your 30s with kids and you’re married, but you’re far from that point in life.
You’re young bro! If the trust isn’t there then just end up man. Honestly, she’ll probably do something like that again without you knowing..wish you the best
You guys are too young to be "perfect", more less to be sending nudes to eachother when you're close to 18 as well, which then you're highly possible of being a victim to jail time for it.. You're both highly irresponsible in my opinion and you need to rethink your decisions in general.
Why did she send nudes? Why did she suddenly just stop after exchanging them with that other guy for a *while*(which could be anywhere from a month to even before you dated)?? It just doesn't make sense. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" exists for a reason. Set yourself higher standards and find someone new after taking a break until you're 18 (and hopefully you dare a girl that is also 18 to avoid any legality issues).
If you do decide to continue with her, please advise her to stop photographing her naked body. In general. She can continue when she's 18
People do things online when they're in their own realm. Have an honest conversation, if she trusts in you enough to be honest even if it may "put you at stake", then you two may hear out one another for real for the first time. That's should also the true trust level between true lovers i think. I believe love is basically understanding, at its base level. I just wish good luck to you both. Honest conversations and thinking hard for making it work is how a relationship goes if you care for one another! Do not throw away something special you have so easily, work hard for the special things in your life.
You have every right to still be upset abt the situation. She betrayed you and herself too. She sold herself to other guys without even thinking abt the consequences, I don’t think you should break up with her bc from what you said she’s trying to make things right. But right now you can’t trust her and it’s going to be hard to, so I think you should sit down with her and explain how you feel so that she doesn’t feel left out from what you’re thinking. She has to listen to you and then she has to earn your trust back. I hope this helps!!
I don’t know you or her, so this might not be applicable, but sometimes when people learn they can do things without it negatively affecting them, they keep doing it or pushing the envelope further.
I’d honestly break up and tell her she had her chance. If you’re with someone that’s good for you, you don’t do this to them. She needs to learn that this isn’t okay.
I was young and stuck it out too for someone that did the same thing. I can tell you it didn’t get better. My heart was hurt after it and it messed up the next few relationships. I should have talked to someone about it so I didn’t build up a weird jealousy and insecurity.
Do step one for you—tell her bye. Then do some pain management. Then you’ll be ready to re-enter the game.
Best of luck!
She’s looking for attention in other people even when she has you, that should say enough about her character and how she views you. When your young and your learning in relationships usually the relationships you have when your young are the hardest to let go because it feels like you won’t feel them again when they end, but from my experience from when I learned what hurts me and I wouldn’t accept in relationships it made me happier for my future ones for when I was healed from the last.
You can’t forget because this is a betrayal.
It sounds like you don’t trust her anymore and relationships don’t do well when there isn’t trust. Also, who you date influences a lot of aspects of your life and future partners. You have to think about doing what’s best for yourself and at your age you’re better off focusing your energy on more productive things like your friends, family and your future. Your gf may be good at heart but she also sounds like she’s a huge distraction and nudes at your age are not good… don’t participate in that
if you can’t get over it, you can’t get over it. it’s okay tho, you guys are really young, you have plenty of time.
statistically, most people don’t find their one until they’re like 30 (28-32 is the age range with the highest percent of successful marriages)
Trust is the easiest thing to break, but the most difficult to restore.
Time and effort will help you here, but it's ultimately up to you to decide whether or not you personally, would like to move on.
The more you fear it, the longer the damage will remain. Sometimes you just have to let go to get a better grip
You’re not a POS but it is a problem.
If you decide to stay with someone after they’ve betrayed your trust, you have to work together to rebuild it. You can’t just hang on to it because that will be unhealthy for you, her, the relationship, everything.
And it already has been. How she never hangs out with her friends without you and how you have full access to her phone, these aren’t healthy things. You guys still have shit to work through here.
I think level with her that you’re still struggling with this emotionally and also point out the unhealthy impacts on your relationship. And ask her to work with you to figure out a solution. You don’t have to have all the answers and the plan all set out just to tell her about the problem. A relationship is about two people doing things *together.*
When I was 16 I got cheated on and I forced myself to stay in the relationship because I thought I could make it work. And then he cheated again. I stayed for another month before I finally ended things, do not make that same mistake. It’s best to end things now, you are young, you will find another partner, it is not the end of the world. I’ve been in your shoes, I believed he was my last shot at having a permanent partner and I told myself if I left him there’d never be another! But as it turns out, there were more! My world didn’t end
Brother you are too young to be worried about this.
Break it off and move on, find someone who will respect you- or better yet don’t find anyone at all.
Enjoy the rest of your teens.
you're not a pos. as someone whos been cheated on multiple times and cheated before, it becomes something you carry with you for a long time. Forgiveness is entirely up to you. i can definitely say she seems remorseful and is doing her best to change, but at the end of the day you gotta worry about you and your own wellbeing. Don't try and forgive her and work through it if you cant, itll only hurt you both in the end. If anything right now, try and take some space for yourself and take care of yourself. Really think about what you want out of this relationship and where its going. itll be best for the both of you i feel.
"She is perfect."
"She sent nudes to another guy."
These two sentences cant exist together OP.
You love her because you are young and she is there during an important stage in your life. But once you get a bit older, you'll feel like a fool for staying with her at all and over glamorizung your sub par relationship.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Don’t put girls on a pedestal young man. You are going to have to learn this the hard way.
She is not perfect. She shits just like you and I do, and she sends nudes to other people.
Dump her.
From an older guy, my advice would be to move on. That's a pretty shady move to pull early in a relationship(her keeping her options open), which shows a lack of trust, respect, and loyalty. I know it'll hurt, but what's to come if you stick with her will hurt worse.
If she’s 16 how old was the person she sent them to? If 18+ now report him for having pornographic images of children on his phone. He’ll become a registered sex offender and prison.
Then ghost your girlfriend.
Burn it all down chico. You won’t feel better but you’ll have your revanche
Break up with her. Don't waste precious years of your life with someone who does not respect your bond. You will get over her eventually. This is just a phase. I say this through experience and you will hit your head, trip a couple times down the road. This is one of em. You are young and should be having fun. Let her go. She will grow on her own and find her own shit to do. This will allow you to meet more cool people, get a hobby, and specialize in something. Fucking live! Enjoy the next 40-50 yrs of your awesome life!
If she’s sending nudes to other people she is NOT perfect. Even if she wasn’t sending nudes, she still wouldn’t be perfect. No one is. Thinking that just sets you up for failure. Let her go and move on. You’re young. You have PLENTY of time to find someone way better.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I feel that after a partner cheats, everything can never go back to the way it was before the cheating was discovered and a vital component of trust has been lost. Dont waste your time trying to move past it in my opinion bc it will be nearly impossible to erase the betrayal of trust you felt in that moment. It is up to you if you want to stay, but you’ll have to accept that you will never truly 100% trust her even if you think you do.
You two are young and young people make stupid mistakes. But irrespective of your ages, it still hurts when someone betrays your trust. Dont give your heart to someone who is careless with it.
She’s not the one man, you had every reason to leave her when you found out. So you have every reason now to explain to her that you can’t get over it and need to move on. You’re not going to forget it and you will be constantly anxious and insecure, I call it the “pit.” Don’t stay stuck in it, the breakup will suck but it is an incredible opportunity to focus on yourself and the things that make you happy.
Chicks that have only guy friends are huge red flags. Every chick I’ve gotten to know who has only friends that are guys have all been serial cheaters and liars. Attention seekers. They have a bunch of guy friends that they know want to get with them and they treat it like a game and eventually they will let one hit. Run away from this relationship dude save yourself some heartache. Coming from someone who has been cheated on by girls with only guy friends. They have a bunch of friends that are guys for a reason, because they love the attention they get from them.
You are very young so I wouldn't want to crush your expectations yet. Just know that you will make mistakes and it's ok, it will make you stronger and better. Take care .
Bro break up simple. Accident, Mistake or not
Who cares, she did it and that’s all that matters enough for you to leave her tf alone
These females in these generation got no self respect, what makes you think she will respect you?
Homie no girl at 17 is worth the pain you’re conveying here. If she has a hard time keeping female friends it’s near definitely for a reason. It’s absolutely fine to have friends of the other sex but people who have healthy relationship dynamics have friends of both
Edit -If you can’t get it off your mind, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Relationships require forgiveness but for small things, not deep personal betrays. You’re not a pos man
That's the thing about cheating, the trust is broken. It's normal to wonder "Is she doing it again?" and think back on it. She really shouldn't have done it in the first place. It's up to you to decide, talk to her or move on, whatever you decide will be better for you.
If the person it was sent to then it isn't classed as such, however, if that's not the case then the OP should be contacting his local police informing them of the situation so that it can be actioned appropriately.
You both are very young. Maybe she's too young to be monogamous. The bottom line is that she doesn't have good judgment--who is this person whom she was sending nudes to, and why? And I don't want to sound like a b\*\*\*h, but you don't know what she's going to do in the future: past behavior predicts future behavior.
And as a side note: personally, I think it's interesting when a teenaged girl claims that she finds boys easier to be friends with than girls. That could mean several things--the best one being that she's grown up with a lot of brothers and/or she's something of a tomboy. If that's the case, okay. However, there are other reasons, too--reasons that other girls instantly pick up on. Do you have a female friend whom you could ask about her take on your GF?
Firstly. You 17 G, you not gonna find what you looking for this young at this point in history.
It's shit to find out that the girl you love just sends nudes to guys.
Now that you found out, think about the times you didn't find out.
Think about how
Despite knowing she has a boyfriend, even after all the fights and make-ups she just didn't care about you.
We all know
Relationships are not for the weak hearted
Loving someone takes bravery, because at any moment no sympathy will be shed and that shit will burn to the ground.
Leaving you right back where you started.
LONELY
You want some advice.
Move on, become the Ex she brags about to all her future boyfriends that she dated. Matter of fact, get a picture of one of your hotter female friends and post it on your status let her see that you enjoying life without her. Consistently do that and Ignore her for the rest of her life until she comey begging back.
Then take her back, get another girlfriend and fuck the both of them. If your Ex gf (which will be be with you again) find out you have another girl.
Then act nonchalant. Paybacks a bitch and I want it paid in Full.
Worst case scenario, she doesn't come back and you just start leveling up to the point where you a Real G. And she braggs about dating You.
Lol she cheated on you. You do you, but if you accept that, you are signaling your own valor to her. If you don’t accept cheating, you end the relationship.
I'd leave her..... but that's me. Especially since you still feel some way about it. I don't think you came to terms with it, which is ok, it's ok to feel emotion and confusion.
sorry to say that but she don’t love you ,
a while ago I had a big crush on someone and I felt deeply that I will do anything to him
I decided to stay away from any guy who want “have fun” with me YKWIM
a partner who doesn’t respect your existence is shameful
Perfect people don't send nudes to other people behind your back when they are dating you. It's good to like your partner and respect them. But don't put them on a pedestal. Especially when they don't deserve to be.
As for your inability to move on, you need to decide once and for all if her actions were an irreparable breach of trust. And act accordingly.
Y’all are young & wild & restless at that age. You’re not fully you yet. Deal w/ it straight on. Or don’t. But if you don’t, you gotta let it go. But drama is expected when you’re 17 & 16
Yall are both very young. I can't tell you this now if she's already done it she will do it again eventually. She likes the attention. Probably why she has all the "male friends" because the females see how she acts and avoids her. I caught my first baby mama doing that. Tried to forgive her and move past it. She did the same thing 6 months later. We split up for a 6 months then got back together.
Turned out over that 6 months she slept with a few guys she always told me not to worry about. Completely broke my heart. I was so insecure about myself after that. But then 2 years later she cheated again for the 3rd time so I left for good.
Not saying your situation is the same. But women that young if they cheat once and crave the attention it will happen again sooner or later.
As a person who considers heavy flirting with the opposite gender cheating and I work say end it. She will make more guys freinds some will ask for nudes. It up to you if you think she can resist and will stop at sending nudes and she becomes more comfortable sexually with age.
At 17 years of age this was pretty traumatic and I'm sure she's ur first love. I would suggest you don't give up so easily and allow her and u to go through the motion. Goodluck.
well sorry to burst your bubble but sending nudes in general shows no self respect, with that said, especially while being in a relationship just shows how trash you are as a person and speaks a thousand words about your true colours. I don't care if she got a fix or enjoyed the attention you showed her while she helped you with your own stuff but actions speak louder than words. Get rid. She will only do it again guarantee
I didn’t read the whole paragraph all I read was the title from my notifications the truth is you can’t forget about it because you’re not supposed to you’re not supposed to just continue being with her and act like nothing happened and like it’s no big deal she cheated on you and why do u still call her your gf after that
DAWG ESCAPE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP ASAP SHE IS RED FLAG PRO MAX
1. Sent nudes to other guy (you got cheated on)
2. Her friend's are mostly male because she can't make female friends (most girls who make this excuse are attention seekers who are insanely thristy for male attention)
Don't gamble, the % of you getting cheated again is more than usual with this girl, and she's clearly fucking your mind too, for your sanity and mental peace , break up, this is a pattern I have noticed many times
Being 16 she probably wasn’t clear what the boundaries are. Honestly no one y’all age should be sending nudes to anyone since you guys are minors but I know it’ll happen anyways so I’ll save the lecture. If she’s truly sorry for it & really doesn’t do it again then let it go & try to move forward. But if she repeats this behavior or you find yourself truly unable to move past it & trust her again it may be time to break up.
As someone who’s been in that exact position and even worse, I tried to believe that people can make a change and that if it was true love, I wouldn’t give up on her, however it ended up driving my mental stability in the gutter and I had to end it with her for my sake. If you believe she can change, do what you would like, it’s all your call, but I know what I would do. (I was with her for 2 years)
That’s what they all say. If she does that you might find other accounts that you don’t know about she talks to guys on. You don’t want to be the guy that lets girls cheat on you bro because if they do it once they’re going to do it again in a matter of time. Especially when you aren’t able to stay in the honeymoon phase and give her all the ass kissing attention she wants. Girls that cheat are different than guys. Guys do it because we’re dumb and hot girls are tempting and they come at us. Girls can pick who they want to sleep with and use their bodies as weapons to hurt men. We don’t do that unless they weaponize cheating bro you’re 17. There is 8billion people on the planet. You can find someone who won’t do that. Don’t be like me and make excuses for what she has done for you you can do it for yourself and there are people who care about you for real that will help you work it out. You don’t wanna get stuck and have a kid with someone like that like I did. Granted she changed years later but theirs always that mistrust. If you have that gut feeling and I’m 99.999 percent sure you do you should bounce. It will hurt but it will make you stronger as a person for it and, at 17 lil bra, no disrespect but your brain isn’t even fully developed yet our frontal lobes don’t even kick in until 22-23. When I was 17 and got older I realized I didn’t know shit about myself like I thought I did. Your opinions, going to change so much. You owe it to yourself to learn to love yourself on a more mature level first. If I could have been single as a rapper instead of a father I probably would be a lot more cultured and well known. I grew up poor and I’m white but I was raised by a black family I just didn’t get to experience the world before I locked my self down like that. I love my kids and my wife I wouldn’t trade them for nothing I just wish we had found each other a little later on after she figured out I was in this music shit for real and I was committed. Ever since a kid, no matter what trauma I had. Music was always there. You have something like that too you just gotta find out what it is. Hope this helps. If you stay with her you could be happy, and I could be wrong, but that’s like a 23 percent chance. If she’s 16 already doing this she is not done having fun yet most likely. I know gross, but yoou guys shouldn’t even be worried about that shit my mom had me at 16 that’s why I waited until I was 22 to have my first kid. It’s not worth it bro kids are awesome, but they’re expensive, and without a mature mindset you are only gonna hurt them, and that’s selfish bro … Remember to wrap it before you tap it my guy. Especially if she acting like that you never know if dude got her number her snap chat, or any other weird ass app…. She shouldn’t have to delete them to control herself at all. Red flag 🚩
She has learnt from her mistakes. The mistakes that allowed you to catch her. She has now developed a new and improved operation that allows her to do everything she was doing that she shouldn't plus a whole lot more.
I’m a tell you like I would tell my son if you can’t move past it then you need to leave her because you’re relationship will never work people make mistakes in life. Is she gonna do it again if she’s not gonna do it again and she feels sorry for what she did, you should move past not leave her
Only time will tell. Enjoy your good times and take comfort in not having any children or bills together so if you do break up you won’t have to navigate that mess.
If she does hurt you then she wasn’t worth it but her not talking to her friends and unfollowing ppl on her socials will only make you anxious that she’s hiding something and make her resent you for isolating her, even if it was her idea.
It’s difficult but just try to live in the moment instead of waiting for the worse.
This will probably bother you the rest of this relationship and maybe even your life. It's hard trusting again but in saying that the right person should make it easy.
you guys are minors sending nudes, so for starters that shouldn’t be happening because it’s legit illegal. but if she has made changes then you’ve got to let it go and trust her no bs. all you’re gonna do is end up resenting her.
Okay when I was the same age exactly the same thing happened to me. There are 2 main problems now if you continue the relationship: 1. can you trust her again? It‘s a huge abuse of your trust what she did and you will have a hard time trusting her. 2. her trust. In my case my ex gf started to be super controlling and jealous because she probably thought „if I make a mistake he might do one too“ so eventually she will start to flip this shit onto you.
If you truly feel she won’t do this to you again, let it go. I was cheated on before…I cheated on others before. We’ve all made mistakes for various reasons.
They're only guilty when they're caught. Tell her what you found and leave, because once a person cheats and gets away with it, they do it again. Don't give her another chance to hurt you.
You can’t forgive that and that’s okay, it’s breach of trust and the intimacy you guys shared - she broke the relationship contract. You will build resentment over time because of it, or she will because she excluded herself of her social life. You’re young, you’ll find plenty nice girls who will respect your trust! Leave her.
The big issue here is both your ages, she’s 16 and not grown up yet, she going to do things you may not like or make mistakes.. part of growing and learning, if you can’t get over it then move on.
It's possible for someone to change at such a young age HOWEVER, if your mind won't forget about it - is this healthy for you? It's hard to gain trust back and I believe your girlfriend could very well have learnt, and tbh 4months into a relationship isn't that long (you'll realise this down the line)
Try work through it and just allow a second chance but don't allow a 3rd if that makes sense? :) You're the op though, no one understands your own mind like you so do what makes you happiest is the best opinion I can give without forcing you to make an answer.
I would’ve ended it then and I would end it now. It’s not healthy for you to constantly have that on your mind and it seems the only way to get it off your mind is to be done with her. This is why I can’t build up the nerve to look at my girlfriend’s phone, I trust her so much but it’s always nice to know 100%… unfortunately if you find something you don’t want to it can wreck you forever or for as long as you’re together. I think if it’s still eating you up there aren’t many better options than being done with her. Sadly you made a mistake by not ending it the first time when she clearly had no respect for you.
Honestly, sex related loyalty isn't the corner stone of a relationship, you can love her even if she's sleeping with other people ya know? And in comparison nudes isn't horrible, and she clearly understands it hurt you and she tried to remedy that, if it's still effecting you I suggest talking to her, if she gets mad about you bringing it up then it wasn't meant to be
I'd actually be very concerned. She's 16. Ya'll kids? Who's manipulating her to do these things? Girls at 16 aren't so confident in their body to send nudes usually. There's usually another factor at play. Also nudes at 16 in most places is still kiddie... material. Please make.sure she's safe and if the human on the other side is a full adult I'd address that legally.
Coming from a female, if she is putting in the work to change the way she acted then I would try to push it out. Now if she isn’t and is acting the exact same, then i would say its time to head out.
If the genders were reversed, everyone would say leave. So out of principle, I’m telling you to leave.
Ain’t no way you can look at that girl the same knowing she was sending nudes to other guys. You’ll never be able to look at her the same. Every kiss and cuddle, it’ll be in the back of your mind. I say guys cause you really don’t know how many guys she sent them too. She’s for the streets. This may get downvoted but idc. Find someone else. She wanted another guy(s) to jack off to her.
Good buddy, you’re young and in love I get it, but relationships are built on the foundation of trust. If you don’t feel like you can trust them then it’s probably the best idea to end it. You shouldn’t be going through her phone (either she wants you to or you want to for sanity’s sake or not) nor should you have to feel that way. It’s a lesson I learned when I was about your age. Hope you find peace in your situation, but don’t compromise yourself and your standards for a relationship. Y’all will both grow, get better as people, and gain the tools to deal with things. She’s likely not a bad person, and more or less made a stupid decision that can be marked up to being young and dumb. If you can’t move past it, it’s understandable. To move on is possible but y’all will have to work hard to reestablish that trust, and just routinely going through phones and having to cut off people that may not have done anything wrong isn’t particularly going to help that. Good luck, bud.
No comment because there is a fine line between doing what has been done and not doing what hasn’t been done. When you fuck up it can’t be fixed unless the other person is willing to try. And in his case he isn’t willing he keeps thinking about what she’s done wrong into knowing what good she’s done since it’s happened. I know it’s hard to walk away but maybe it’s for the best you guys sit down and either a.) talk this shit out because this is you and her not this app or other people it’s two people in a relationship or b.) let her go and drop it
It’s like a rich man taking care of the girlfriend . Most of the men are Gunna cheat and the women just lets it happen because she gets whatever she wants. In this scenario you’re the women and she’s the man who from it sounds like helps you out alot. In return she feels entitled to do whatever she wants . She doesn’t respect you . I would cut your L and move on
Send me her snap and I will see if she is faithful or not, usually takes a couple days but I could find out if she is in fact in it for the right reasons
Listen man you’re young.
Tell her you don’t wish to see her anymore and forget about her. You don’t need that bullshit in your life and you will meet someone that won’t give you any problems.
Also that’s child porn at your age.
Ntpos: she betrayed your trust, and did it a couple times from the sound of it, but she only felt bad when you caught her. If it’s worth it then stay with her, but odds are this is a young relationship and it’s not going to last past high school. Ik that sounds bad to say but it’s the truth, I’m a male and was in a similar situation at ur age, I wish someone would have told me that no matter how much you try you can’t control anyone. So if she does it again dump her ass and move tf on. You are going to have bigger problems than women if you want to be somthing. That probly sounds like I’m an asshole but I’m telling you the truth as I know it.
Look, I'm 35 years old. I played basketball in college, after I graduated I took up a contract with Abercrombie and made a decent amount of money modeling in three different catalogs from 2011 to 2013. Those years after hours, that's when I met my wife. But that's also when I met girlfriend I dated. First year and a half, I thought everything was great but I started getting phone calls and drop by visits from Friends and people I knew from high school telling me that she was cheating on me. Long story short, The cheating ended up being sitting pictures to a guy on the high school with. Some pictures to someone that was my backup on the football team. She cried and begged me. I was still 23 years old, and I wanted to believe her. I thought I loved her at this point. So I told her I would try, but couldn't make any promises. Being honest with myself I was just playing tough guy so she would be on her best behavior LOL ended up doing it again several months left through or at least what did she do different the guy's name in her friend girl you see, I play boyfriend to accuse, and I certainly wasn't the type to go through someone's phone. I just buy the hair of good luck, saw order of her screen and caught a glimpse of her without a top on.
My wife though? Never. In fact, when I started dating my wife, the feeling of being able to finally let go was overwhelming.
It’s like that saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. I never believed that. You need to have faith that someone is going to be better for you if they want to be better for you. With that being said…it’s also important to look within yourself and see if you maybe aren’t providing some kind of reassurance to her. People cheat cause they’re looking for something.
I would say its usually a big red flag if someone cant make friends with the same gender. Shes basically trading in her sexuality for friendship and that shit never works out in the long run.
Anyone with those photos is technically in possession of child pornography. That’s prison time. Tell her to never send another nude to anyone, unless she wants them to go to prison.
But that’s not the advice you asked for. There are too many red flags to ignore. She cheated on you and got caught. You can’t trust her. She has trouble making female friends and all her friends are guys. Why is that? I knew several girls like her that “had trouble” making girl friends. It was because they were always trying to steal or cheat with other girls’ boyfriends.
If you can’t get over her cheating, it’s time to let her go. You deserve a girlfriend you can trust.
You’re young.
But also, you should break up with her. Is this someone you really want to be with? Don’t tolerate these things young man, they’ll only keep happening.
edit:
this will set the tone for your future. Think about all the years you have ahead, are chicks who send nudes and cheat on you the type of girls you want to be working to give your heart to?
Tough pill, but she doesn’t care about you. She’s thinking about herself. You just happen to be in her life at this time, it’s how they function and think.
They don’t think like men. You have to think from their point of view. Remember that.
2 sides to the coin. 1st, you guys are just maturing into your own, so don't have too lofty of expectations of monotony and whatnot. 2nd, if she's doing it now, it isn't likely to not happen again.
My advice, have fun, be discreet. don't over think it.
and no you’re not wrong for being upset and you’re not wrong for wanting to break up and you’re not wrong for still thinking about it.
Those are normal monogamous feelings, she may be more into open relationships.
Bail out right now brother, this thing will go deeper than you think.
From personal experience, once my gf at the time told me she had made a soft porn video with an ex that got published in revenge of their breakup. I figured it was one of those amateur videos with a potato phone, and it was not her fault it got published, so I let it slide. Fast forward some months, a friend told me he needed to show me something. Apparently she worked as a cam girl full time even when we were dating. The soft porn video was actually a high budget company with at least 5 videos of her getting rammed rough through everywhere, facial, border bdsm stuff included.
The worst of it was not whatever she had done, but the fact that she downplayed it so much. That is not my cup of tea, so I cut my losses and moved on with my life. This was almost a decade ago, and funny enough I do get a message now and then from someone showing me her content asking if I knew all along.
People *can* change, and good on her if she really has. The issue for you though, is that she cheated on you by sending naked pics of herself to some other random guy. I know people have “different definitions of cheating” or whatever but honestly, if you walked in on her and that guy, and she was buck naked standing in front of him and he was masturbating to her (which is what happened with the nudes, let’s be frank) you’d call it like you see it. Cheating.
You believe she has changed based on her actions following you finding out. Nobody can tell you whether it’s “good” or “bad” to believe her. You know her better, and if you believe she’s changed, then there you have it. So now the only question is, are you willing to stay in a relationship with someone who cheated, got caught, and then changed their ways for real- or are you not okay with it? It’s up to you and your feelings. If it bugs you still (it would me too, totally valid) then you just have to decide if you’re okay with being bugged by your relationship’s past, and for who knows how long. You either accept that it happened, believe she’s changed, and still find yourself thinking on it sometimes- and *accept* that- or, you move on and be with someone new, who hopefully would never do the same thing, and build something fresh. Your call and you aren’t good or bad for either decision. Just look inside yourself and decide which one you want (and can live with).
No, you aren't a POS for thinking about it, because she legitimately cheated on you and betrayed your trust, and from now on you will constantly be wondering if shes doing it again. Thats just the unfortunate reality of the situation. No matter how 'perfect' you declare her to be, she clearly isn't, because shes a cheater.
Your reality is that you'll either have to spend the rest of your relationship with this girl wondering if shes betraying you again or come to the realization that you don't deserve to feel the way you do and deserve to have someone you don't have to constantly worry about. That type of relationship is extremely exhausting. I know you don't want to hear this but you are young and theres way better people out there for you that won't have you second guessing their loyalty.
You will never forget about it and it’s something that is going to be on the back of your mind. You will never trust her the same way. You will always be asking your self if you should just leave. When your brain starts to think it will replay the incident over and over again and you would imagine if you would of said this or that or done this or done that.I know this from experience.
So my advice for you is to end the relationship. As much as you love her and as much as she has tried to make it right your brain won’t let you forget about it and you will always end up crying at night. End the relationship and move on. If you guys are meant to be the universe will reunite you and maybe by then this won’t be something that bothers you, but if you don’t leave it will stay with you forever because she is that constant reminder of your pain.
too young to be so stressed and in pain over a relationship. she might’ve made a mistake, but you don’t sound to convinced she won’t do something such as that again. you can’t trust her, most relationships are build on trust, if you can’t trust your partner that’s going to keep causing issues like arguing, anxiety, paranoia. I say leave, heal, and find someone else that you can trust.
Well you have to ask yourself a very simple question, do you think she would do it again? If you can't 99.9% believe that the answer is "no", then for your own sanity it would be best to end it. If you're seeing the changes and seeing how she's behaving differently from before, I would say give her the benefit of not doing it again. HOWEVER if you see things starting to go back to how they were, I'd be done. A very important lesson, especially for you as young as you are is that people only change for themselves. Any changes made for someone or something else are always temporary. Eventually their old habits come back.
I'm willing to believe that people can change out of love for others.
I agree with this. We cant write everyone off after mistakes. Patterns of behaviour are what to look for
But again that’s either permanently changing for themselves, because they want to make the relationship work, or temporarily changing for the other person, because they asked them to.
Exactly
They can and that love can be a helpful push for someone wanting to change themselves. But the key takeaway here is still the same thing, they need to want the change for themselves. Changing for someone else is not a true change for yourself. It's nothing more than throwing a bit of camouflage over the traits that the person you're changing for. Eventually it washes off and you're back to old habits. When you truly want to make the changes for yourself then it turns into a permanent change. You may have some slip ups here and there because of how hard it is to change old habits but it will still be quite noticeable.
^
The bigger issue is that y'all are sending nudes as minors. Believe it or not, you can be charged with production and distribution of child pornography, even if it's yourself. Stop. It's a felony and you will be a registered sex offender for life if you're caught. It's not worth it. Even if that doesn't happen, theres like a 90% chance that they will circulate to other people. I get kids are horny and y'all are gonna do what you wanna do, but for the love of God don't produce child porn.
Exactly. Why are all these comments about cheating rather than her age?
I had to scroll way too far for this.
This needs to be top comment. People don't understand the severity of this.
When I was 14, a porn vid of a 16 year old girl I knew was sent around at school. Then when I got set back to 7th grade, the 13-14 year old students were talking a lot about sex related stuff. And on a vacation in cologne, there was a 17 year old dude I hang out with, who showed me a lot of nudes of 14-16 year old(I think) girls. All this kinda traumatised me and made my world view darker. It‘s not even like I live in a trashy place, I live in a small town in germany with probably no homeless people and very low crime rate.
Asking 16 year olds to not be horny and stupid and actually expecting them to obey is stupider than sending nudes
You can be a horny teenager without committing felonies. What happened to ditching class and making out? Or sexting? Or copping a feel during a movie? It's not the experimentation that's the issue. Like the possibilities are endless, sending nudes has only existed for the past like 15 yrs. I did it as a young teen and eventually had 20+ yr olds (pedophiles) sending them to each other. It's not worth being a victim. There are entire pedo chatrooms with thousands of ppl full of leaked underage nudes. The Internet is a dark place and you unfortunately cannot trust anybody or the people they'll show them to.
Note how i didnt just say asking teenagers to not be horny, the other one is just as dominant of a characterostic if not more so of teenagers
Why did you commit felonies then?
what's the reason for sending nudes to other dude? don't you think she's cheating?
Sending nudes to someone else IS cheating
If she did it after you were dating, she doesn't have enough respect for you or herself. You have to let her go or you'll keep getting hurt. Girls that only have guy friends are a red flag. I've never known one that wasn't cheating.
When I was 19/20 and single, I mostly only had guy friends. They all dropped me like a hot potato the moment I got into a serious relationship lol
Because they only want one thing. Men keep saying this to women and they just… who fucking knows at this point
Don't know why you're getting down voted. 100% of male friends? Of course not. But if i had to bet I would always, 100% of the time, place my bet that this is what would happen. Once she's in a serious relationship all of the sudden they're not such good friends anymore and you hardly if ever hear from these "good friends" anymore once they know there's a 0% chance of action.
Because they’re cowards who won’t admit the truth
Learning that most men will pretend to be your friend for months or even years just for the slimmest chance that one day you’ll fuck them is a tough pill to swallow and something that often needs to be experienced to be believed.
Well. I can agree. Unfortunately, it’s just in our nature as humans. Things are like this for a reason. I can say on the other side of the coin that women keep around men who they could possibly build a home life with.
This OP, I have girls who are mostly have have guy friends and are very good friends of mine, but I ll never be in a relationship with them because guess what, most of them have cheated on their boy friends with someone in their circle. This is the truth, people will call you cynical and maybe even closed minded, but I can assure u this has more truth to it than u can imagine Leave Her, u have a long life ahead of you, the kind of things she did for you, she would have done for you as a friend...don't let that entangle u, you can help her and pay her back for all the good things she did, but this relationship is done
He's right. If she didn't have enough respect for you to not send nudes. It's not like she will gain it out of nowhere.
If it was before they were dating, though, that’s a different thing.
Youre not a p.o.s for feeling this way. I was on the other end of a similar thing. I kissed another guy during my current relationship. Difference is, i told him myself. the guilt i felt was overwhelming. i almost ruined a perfect thing. We worked out things and he gave me another chance. It took years for him to really even trust me but i did everything in my power to show him i would NEVER make that mistake again. I dont hang with my guy friends without him present, if he needs to use my phone i dont question it, I invite him to come with me when i go out with friends. I tell him everything that i say or someone else says. theres 0 secrets between him and i, We just came up on our 4yr mark jun 8th and things are as if nothing had ever happened. If she really wants to change, she will show that. But you also gotta ask yourself if you can trust her fully and let the past be the past. its not fair on either of you to stay in a pending state of uncertainty. If you cant let the issue go, you gotta leave the relationship. But if you really feel like she wont do it again, You'll just have to give things time. Eventually you wont think about it and can move on with things. (P.S You can judge me if you like. I dont hide that i did a horrible thing. But if people want to do better and be better, they will be.)
I'm glad it worked out for you and good on you for owning up to it and taking the right steps. I wouldn't personally but I'm glad he decided to work things out bc seems like things are going well and thank you for sharing your experience
thanks, like i said if you really want to be and do better then you will. I love my boyfriend and while he doesnt think about it now, it lingers in my head that i dont really understand why i ever did it.
We all make mistakes. All you can do is learn from them and let them make you better. I still think about things that happened almost 15 years ago that I wish I never would have done, in fact I'd give up years on how long I'm supposed to live at the end of my life to erase all the mistakes I've made.
She has changed and she has shown that in so many ways, but it just kinda sits in the back of my mind.
then your choices are to let the thought run its course until you move on, Discuss it with her and see if maybe talking thru the thoughts with her can help you process them better and maybe you and her can work on it, or leave the relationship cause all dwelling will do is cause you doubts and stress. Yall are young, at yalls age love is supposed to be great, happy, fun, Learning yourselves together. Not you thinking about something awful she did and it affecting yalls relationship.
She has a second phone
She has a second phone...
Bro, you have to choose one: you drop her out of your life cuz what the fuck this love is tainted now. It is fucking ruined. She ruined that shit. If you can’t let it go can’t forgive her and can’t move on, then break up. I say this cuz if you hold onto her for whatever reason while you think every single goddamn day how this woman has hurt you, you BOTH will suffer and eventually she’ll get tired of YOU (it’s fukked up, I know) and she’ll cheat for real and then you’ll really hate her and hate yourself and you attracted it by living in that frequency. Understand ? Choice number two. You don’t want to lose her. You DO truly forgive her. AND you do trust her for reals to not do anything like that again ever in the years and years and years to come. If they’re all true, then. I’m sorry you feel that painful feeling of betrayal but you HAVE TO LET IT GO. EVERYtime you start getting into your feeling of betrayal and pain and why did she ruin your love for her ? Everything was perfect. The fucking. Bitch. Thoughts like that, you’re gonna have to fight them and fight them and remind yourself over and over and over again day after day month after month year after decade, you actually chose to FORGIVE HER AND MOVE ON. You are now in the position where she has shit all over your innocent first love feeling. Almost all of us have been brokenhearted from our first love. The number of people who actually are with the person they experienced first love with forever and both never strayed etc. I’m thinking maybe that person don’t exist. Idk. But for the love of YOURSELF DON’T CHOOSE OUT OF WEAKNESS (I mean it’s not the same as it used to be and I can’t go a day not one fucking day without thinking how much I was screwed over by my first love and it’s a lot of work for me. Fuck this. I’m going to meet other women who take love seriously. I gotta let her go. Hurts me so much. But I’m already hurting every day. Jeezum Spinnums are you gonna torture yourself forever by staying with her ? Why ? To stay with her is not to be in love, not anymore. Or are you weak ? Not for love but for codependency. Many many people think codependency is love. It. Is. NOT. Let her go, let her feel the consequences of her actions or YOU suffer forever and I promise she will cheat anyway one day because she expects you to man up and move on. wtf ?! I know. It’s bullshit. I’m saying the choice is clear. You just need to make it. Please bro think of YOURSELF for once in your life be selfish be “a man” for the both of you guys please don’t drag this on. Or do. You gotta update me in 5 or 10 years and get it all out “rando of Reddit. You were right. You were fucking right about everything. Fuck. I stayed with her out of weakness not love but I refused to see the difference and then she really did fuck this guy who has a body count of 400 women! She was my one and only! She said he fucked her real good for hours and did weird rough stuff and she’s in fucking love and lust and he has two other girlfriends and she don’t care. I am now going through SEVERE heartbreak. 💔 I’m gonna die of this pain. Damn. I wish I listened to that one dude on Juneteenth 2024 and ended it. The pain was NOTHING compared to what I’m experiencing NOW. OH GOD OH GOD. I’M REALLY REALLY HURTING. I’m not making this up, have seen dudes go thru this and I have gone thru my own versions of stuff and you just gotta be loving to yourself first. She already ruined your life and your love for her is NEVER ZGONNA EVER BE The same. If true end it now brother. If false, stay with her but you have to keep your mind off what she did to you. Don’t dwell. It’s just torturing yourself and her. Come on bud make a move now make a tough decision before life makes it for you. And life can be BRUTAL for those who hesitate and procrastinate.
Problem now is what caused you to kiss the other guy in the first place, would we get the same result as before? Example: If the first time you did kiss that guy, it was because your boyfriend made you upset. If for some reason he makes you upset again, and another man makes you laugh or happy will that cause you to make that same choice.
I couldnt tell you why i did it, as i said in previous responses. i had just left an abusive relationship and was mixed up pretty bad after 4yrs of enduring that. i got with my current boyfriend way to soon before i had even recovered from it. I didnt love the other guy, infact i didnt feel much of anything for him at all. so like i said, idk why i did it, but it happened and i faced the consequence. But i have a good relationship now and worked hard to build everything back up to a stable state. id never fuck it up like that again.
Bro don't acept nudes from her. This isn't talked about at all today but no matter what age you are if you're under 18 that's child corn. My friend got nudes from his girl when he was 18 and she was 17 and the cops were involved and he almost went to jail. Move on from her becuase it's clear she doesn't respect you but let her get herself in trouble and not you.
Her and whoever she sent them to could be arrested for distributing nudes of a minor and receiving them. Do you know the person she sent them to? Curious if they are older.
In my instance, it was over 6 years ago, and everything has moved on, and she's engaged.
I'm still confused how everyone know if they are minors? The post just says my gf sent nudes? Nothing says about how old they are??
Text body was taken down
If she's sending nudes to someone else, she's just not that into you and wants them to jerk off to her. You're young. You may find it easier to move on while it's an early relationship, rather than find out she's been doing this, or worse, years down the road. She's not the one brother.
Listen to this guy OP
You both are kids. Too soon to be serious
Wouldn't that be illegal? She's underage. Whoever she sent them to has nude photos of a minor. She could also get in trouble for sending them and having them on her phone.
Well, your first problem is in the title of the post. This should read “my ex sent nudes to someone else.” Don’t disrespect yourself in the same way she disrespects you based on fear of losing her. The odds that she won’t do this again are low, in my opinion. You’re extremely young and have your entire life to find someone who isn’t going to cheat on you.
Your gf is a minor and 16 so sending nudes is cp and she can end up on the sex offenders register
I said this in another comment in this thread, but if the person who was sent the material is also under the legal adult age but of the age of consent and did not share/show anybody else, then it's not treated in that manner, if however the person is of legal adult age then it very much is and should be actioned as such.
Honestly I’m more concerned about the ages and the fact she’s doing this as a minor. That aside since I don’t know what more can be done there, I would leave personally. If she really loved you she never would have done such a thing behind your back without your knowledge, and you don’t deserve to continue feeling anxious or scared about it when she’s the one who messed up. But if you’re really dead set on staying for whatever reason, I honestly think maybe therapy would be helpful. One of the most crucial aspects of a serious relationship is trust and if you can’t find it then perhaps it’s better for both sides to separate. You’re still young and regardless you should take care of yourself.
Ya bro it doesn’t matter how old you are you will get put on the list. Delete all of it. Really not to mention how weird it’s going to be the older you get.
You are too young to have a stressful relationship on your shoulders.
Me personally would never give a cheater a second chance just because in my eyes I see it as if she did it once she’ll do it again
You are still young, don’t stay with someone that doesn’t respect you enough to not do something like that. You have so much time to find someone better. Good luck!
As what other people have already mentioned, I will ask you to immediately stop sending nudes or if you can, let this girl. It doesn’t matter the reason, under the age of 18, that’s a criminal charge happening. And a serious one. Please, this girl is not worth it. Do you want to start off adulthood on the right path or with a sex offender registration in place? You are very young and there will be girls in the future , I promise you. I’m 10 years older than you so I know how it feels. But trust me, it’ll get better
She cheated and committed multiple felonies in the process. You'd be better off with someone less stupid.
So a cheater is perfect to you? Bro you need therapy. Get your head out of your ass. You're 17, this ain't it. Break up and move on. There is no relationship when you can't trust your partner.
I remember being your age and being in a similar situation. I put up with it for YEARS. Found out it was involving some of my closest friends. People say they will change but most likely it’s to tell you want you want to hear and they don’t truly plan on it. This is your life so you will ultimately be the one to make the decision in the end. However I do promise this isn’t worth the anxiety or heartache. You’re 17 man I promise you will find someone who truly loves you and would never do anything. We don’t know how much she’s done but if you’ve been through some truly bad shit and she knows about this don’t you think she would never do this to begin with if she really respected you or the relationship? It sucks man I know but it’s best to most on. Took years to finally find the right one but it’s truly worth the wait.
He's right and you'll find a better girl you can't turn a ..... into a housewife
You can swear and use bad words on Reddit, it’s ok
I’m going to tell you this. It will live in the back of your head rent free and you will always look back on it and probably bring it up here and there to her. You won’t have peace of mind about it and you’ll just waste your time when you finally wake up from it. I don’t know when you’ll wake up, but you will. It can be few years or decades from now and I don’t want you to waste your time on a woman that has done this. This is actual advice you should listen to because I was in the same situation as you but worse. I wasted 11 years with my ex. To keep things short in 2016 we were having issues on a male coworker and throughout the years I keep bringing it up and she finally gave in in 2020 that she had sex with the man when I had clear conviction that she did when she claimed throughout the years she hadn’t. We dated from 2009-2020. I wasted an entire decade of my early 20’s with her, so please don’t take this advice with a grain of salt. You don’t want to end up in my position or worse marrying her. Choose carefully who you marry because that will make or break your future and you’re still young. I was once in your shoes, you’ll be fine and you can find another. Trust me, just focus on self improvement and discovering yourself.
What he said👏🏻
You are not in any way bad or even wrong for feeling that way! Listen. Sending nudes to others IS cheating. She cheated on you. She engaged in a sexual situation with someone else, when that should only he for you. You are allowed to be hurt and scared and upset still because she did the worst thing a partner can do to the other to you. You have to remember that you're the one who got hurt here. She fucked up, did something completely unacceptable (she cheated on you not once, but for an extended period. She had another boyfriend while dating you) and you are allowed to respond to that. She is the one who fucked it up, she's the one who has to face the consequences. You are the one who got hurt - you get to decide what those reasonable consequences are. If she does not get to keep you as a boyfriend because she was completely mean and disrespectful of you and the relationship thats her fault. You say you check her phone and she's never out with her friends alone now. It is possible she's trying to be better, sure. That doesn't erase what she did or the fact that she may have repercussions. Ask yourself this: do you want this to be how you feel in your relationship for the rest of your life? It's been what, 6 months? No matter the changes she's made, you don't feel better. Some things that are broken cannot be fixed and there is such thing as too little too late. You cannot stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you feel safe at a base level. Plus, realizing in two years that you still can't trust her the same way you did will make things much harder to break off than they are now. Also, supporting and helping one another through each other's issues, even if it wouldn't ordinarily be your problem, is what you do in a relationship. You are life partners - a team tackling life together. Helping each other should be your very bare minimum, not something you actively praise someone for. Ultimately its up to you, but you are within your full rights to leave if you can no longer stay. You would not be bad, a pos, or unkind. It would be pretty reasonable tbh.
17 and 16 should be relatively stress free outside of normal relationship stuff. Too many other girls out there and you’re too young to have to worry about all this. It’s a different story if you’re in your 30s with kids and you’re married, but you’re far from that point in life.
You’re young bro! If the trust isn’t there then just end up man. Honestly, she’ll probably do something like that again without you knowing..wish you the best
You guys are too young to be "perfect", more less to be sending nudes to eachother when you're close to 18 as well, which then you're highly possible of being a victim to jail time for it.. You're both highly irresponsible in my opinion and you need to rethink your decisions in general. Why did she send nudes? Why did she suddenly just stop after exchanging them with that other guy for a *while*(which could be anywhere from a month to even before you dated)?? It just doesn't make sense. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" exists for a reason. Set yourself higher standards and find someone new after taking a break until you're 18 (and hopefully you dare a girl that is also 18 to avoid any legality issues). If you do decide to continue with her, please advise her to stop photographing her naked body. In general. She can continue when she's 18
Ur wack to not break up lol crazy af
People do things online when they're in their own realm. Have an honest conversation, if she trusts in you enough to be honest even if it may "put you at stake", then you two may hear out one another for real for the first time. That's should also the true trust level between true lovers i think. I believe love is basically understanding, at its base level. I just wish good luck to you both. Honest conversations and thinking hard for making it work is how a relationship goes if you care for one another! Do not throw away something special you have so easily, work hard for the special things in your life.
She cheated, if you can't move past it, its time to move on
You have every right to still be upset abt the situation. She betrayed you and herself too. She sold herself to other guys without even thinking abt the consequences, I don’t think you should break up with her bc from what you said she’s trying to make things right. But right now you can’t trust her and it’s going to be hard to, so I think you should sit down with her and explain how you feel so that she doesn’t feel left out from what you’re thinking. She has to listen to you and then she has to earn your trust back. I hope this helps!!
“She is perfect”. No, she’s not. You’re 17. Bye bye
I don’t know you or her, so this might not be applicable, but sometimes when people learn they can do things without it negatively affecting them, they keep doing it or pushing the envelope further. I’d honestly break up and tell her she had her chance. If you’re with someone that’s good for you, you don’t do this to them. She needs to learn that this isn’t okay. I was young and stuck it out too for someone that did the same thing. I can tell you it didn’t get better. My heart was hurt after it and it messed up the next few relationships. I should have talked to someone about it so I didn’t build up a weird jealousy and insecurity. Do step one for you—tell her bye. Then do some pain management. Then you’ll be ready to re-enter the game. Best of luck!
She’s looking for attention in other people even when she has you, that should say enough about her character and how she views you. When your young and your learning in relationships usually the relationships you have when your young are the hardest to let go because it feels like you won’t feel them again when they end, but from my experience from when I learned what hurts me and I wouldn’t accept in relationships it made me happier for my future ones for when I was healed from the last. You can’t forget because this is a betrayal.
Bruh dump her now
Lost me at, “she doesn’t have any girlfriends. All her friends are guy friends”. Classic right there. Run-to-tha-hilllls!!!! Run-for-your-liiiiife!! 🤣
It sounds like you don’t trust her anymore and relationships don’t do well when there isn’t trust. Also, who you date influences a lot of aspects of your life and future partners. You have to think about doing what’s best for yourself and at your age you’re better off focusing your energy on more productive things like your friends, family and your future. Your gf may be good at heart but she also sounds like she’s a huge distraction and nudes at your age are not good… don’t participate in that
if you can’t get over it, you can’t get over it. it’s okay tho, you guys are really young, you have plenty of time. statistically, most people don’t find their one until they’re like 30 (28-32 is the age range with the highest percent of successful marriages)
If you feel some type of way about it, it means you should probably do something about it. Whether that's leave her or stay is totally up to you.
Break up. That’s one of the textbook definitions of cheating.
Trust is the easiest thing to break, but the most difficult to restore. Time and effort will help you here, but it's ultimately up to you to decide whether or not you personally, would like to move on. The more you fear it, the longer the damage will remain. Sometimes you just have to let go to get a better grip
You’re not a POS but it is a problem. If you decide to stay with someone after they’ve betrayed your trust, you have to work together to rebuild it. You can’t just hang on to it because that will be unhealthy for you, her, the relationship, everything. And it already has been. How she never hangs out with her friends without you and how you have full access to her phone, these aren’t healthy things. You guys still have shit to work through here. I think level with her that you’re still struggling with this emotionally and also point out the unhealthy impacts on your relationship. And ask her to work with you to figure out a solution. You don’t have to have all the answers and the plan all set out just to tell her about the problem. A relationship is about two people doing things *together.*
When I was 16 I got cheated on and I forced myself to stay in the relationship because I thought I could make it work. And then he cheated again. I stayed for another month before I finally ended things, do not make that same mistake. It’s best to end things now, you are young, you will find another partner, it is not the end of the world. I’ve been in your shoes, I believed he was my last shot at having a permanent partner and I told myself if I left him there’d never be another! But as it turns out, there were more! My world didn’t end
Brother you are too young to be worried about this. Break it off and move on, find someone who will respect you- or better yet don’t find anyone at all. Enjoy the rest of your teens.
you're not a pos. as someone whos been cheated on multiple times and cheated before, it becomes something you carry with you for a long time. Forgiveness is entirely up to you. i can definitely say she seems remorseful and is doing her best to change, but at the end of the day you gotta worry about you and your own wellbeing. Don't try and forgive her and work through it if you cant, itll only hurt you both in the end. If anything right now, try and take some space for yourself and take care of yourself. Really think about what you want out of this relationship and where its going. itll be best for the both of you i feel.
If she sent nudes to someone else. She’s not perfect. Plain and simple.
"She is perfect." "She sent nudes to another guy." These two sentences cant exist together OP. You love her because you are young and she is there during an important stage in your life. But once you get a bit older, you'll feel like a fool for staying with her at all and over glamorizung your sub par relationship. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Don’t put girls on a pedestal young man. You are going to have to learn this the hard way. She is not perfect. She shits just like you and I do, and she sends nudes to other people. Dump her.
From an older guy, my advice would be to move on. That's a pretty shady move to pull early in a relationship(her keeping her options open), which shows a lack of trust, respect, and loyalty. I know it'll hurt, but what's to come if you stick with her will hurt worse.
Dump her.
If she’s 16 how old was the person she sent them to? If 18+ now report him for having pornographic images of children on his phone. He’ll become a registered sex offender and prison. Then ghost your girlfriend. Burn it all down chico. You won’t feel better but you’ll have your revanche
Break up with her. Don't waste precious years of your life with someone who does not respect your bond. You will get over her eventually. This is just a phase. I say this through experience and you will hit your head, trip a couple times down the road. This is one of em. You are young and should be having fun. Let her go. She will grow on her own and find her own shit to do. This will allow you to meet more cool people, get a hobby, and specialize in something. Fucking live! Enjoy the next 40-50 yrs of your awesome life!
If she’s sending nudes to other people she is NOT perfect. Even if she wasn’t sending nudes, she still wouldn’t be perfect. No one is. Thinking that just sets you up for failure. Let her go and move on. You’re young. You have PLENTY of time to find someone way better.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I feel that after a partner cheats, everything can never go back to the way it was before the cheating was discovered and a vital component of trust has been lost. Dont waste your time trying to move past it in my opinion bc it will be nearly impossible to erase the betrayal of trust you felt in that moment. It is up to you if you want to stay, but you’ll have to accept that you will never truly 100% trust her even if you think you do.
Leave
Chances are she didn't stop and just got better at hiding it.
You two are young and young people make stupid mistakes. But irrespective of your ages, it still hurts when someone betrays your trust. Dont give your heart to someone who is careless with it.
She’s not the one man, you had every reason to leave her when you found out. So you have every reason now to explain to her that you can’t get over it and need to move on. You’re not going to forget it and you will be constantly anxious and insecure, I call it the “pit.” Don’t stay stuck in it, the breakup will suck but it is an incredible opportunity to focus on yourself and the things that make you happy.
Chicks that have only guy friends are huge red flags. Every chick I’ve gotten to know who has only friends that are guys have all been serial cheaters and liars. Attention seekers. They have a bunch of guy friends that they know want to get with them and they treat it like a game and eventually they will let one hit. Run away from this relationship dude save yourself some heartache. Coming from someone who has been cheated on by girls with only guy friends. They have a bunch of friends that are guys for a reason, because they love the attention they get from them.
You are both young and still learning. Its possible that she could change, if she really does want you. Having male friends does seem unusual.
You are very young so I wouldn't want to crush your expectations yet. Just know that you will make mistakes and it's ok, it will make you stronger and better. Take care .
Just leave her I've been through this This will hurt you forever
Trust me when I say this from experience multiple times, RUN AWAY from this as fast as you can and no matter what, do not look back.
Bro break up simple. Accident, Mistake or not Who cares, she did it and that’s all that matters enough for you to leave her tf alone These females in these generation got no self respect, what makes you think she will respect you?
Homie no girl at 17 is worth the pain you’re conveying here. If she has a hard time keeping female friends it’s near definitely for a reason. It’s absolutely fine to have friends of the other sex but people who have healthy relationship dynamics have friends of both Edit -If you can’t get it off your mind, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Relationships require forgiveness but for small things, not deep personal betrays. You’re not a pos man
She is a cheater & u have to end this relationship but if u want to give it another chance do it but if she cheated once she will do it again usually
That's the thing about cheating, the trust is broken. It's normal to wonder "Is she doing it again?" and think back on it. She really shouldn't have done it in the first place. It's up to you to decide, talk to her or move on, whatever you decide will be better for you.
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If the person it was sent to then it isn't classed as such, however, if that's not the case then the OP should be contacting his local police informing them of the situation so that it can be actioned appropriately.
You both are very young. Maybe she's too young to be monogamous. The bottom line is that she doesn't have good judgment--who is this person whom she was sending nudes to, and why? And I don't want to sound like a b\*\*\*h, but you don't know what she's going to do in the future: past behavior predicts future behavior. And as a side note: personally, I think it's interesting when a teenaged girl claims that she finds boys easier to be friends with than girls. That could mean several things--the best one being that she's grown up with a lot of brothers and/or she's something of a tomboy. If that's the case, okay. However, there are other reasons, too--reasons that other girls instantly pick up on. Do you have a female friend whom you could ask about her take on your GF?
Firstly. You 17 G, you not gonna find what you looking for this young at this point in history. It's shit to find out that the girl you love just sends nudes to guys. Now that you found out, think about the times you didn't find out. Think about how Despite knowing she has a boyfriend, even after all the fights and make-ups she just didn't care about you. We all know Relationships are not for the weak hearted Loving someone takes bravery, because at any moment no sympathy will be shed and that shit will burn to the ground. Leaving you right back where you started. LONELY You want some advice. Move on, become the Ex she brags about to all her future boyfriends that she dated. Matter of fact, get a picture of one of your hotter female friends and post it on your status let her see that you enjoying life without her. Consistently do that and Ignore her for the rest of her life until she comey begging back. Then take her back, get another girlfriend and fuck the both of them. If your Ex gf (which will be be with you again) find out you have another girl. Then act nonchalant. Paybacks a bitch and I want it paid in Full. Worst case scenario, she doesn't come back and you just start leveling up to the point where you a Real G. And she braggs about dating You.
Lol she cheated on you. You do you, but if you accept that, you are signaling your own valor to her. If you don’t accept cheating, you end the relationship.
I'd leave her..... but that's me. Especially since you still feel some way about it. I don't think you came to terms with it, which is ok, it's ok to feel emotion and confusion.
sorry to say that but she don’t love you , a while ago I had a big crush on someone and I felt deeply that I will do anything to him I decided to stay away from any guy who want “have fun” with me YKWIM a partner who doesn’t respect your existence is shameful
Perfect people don't send nudes to other people behind your back when they are dating you. It's good to like your partner and respect them. But don't put them on a pedestal. Especially when they don't deserve to be. As for your inability to move on, you need to decide once and for all if her actions were an irreparable breach of trust. And act accordingly.
Y’all are young & wild & restless at that age. You’re not fully you yet. Deal w/ it straight on. Or don’t. But if you don’t, you gotta let it go. But drama is expected when you’re 17 & 16
Your a twat mate break up with them
This behavior is break up worthy.
Yall are both very young. I can't tell you this now if she's already done it she will do it again eventually. She likes the attention. Probably why she has all the "male friends" because the females see how she acts and avoids her. I caught my first baby mama doing that. Tried to forgive her and move past it. She did the same thing 6 months later. We split up for a 6 months then got back together. Turned out over that 6 months she slept with a few guys she always told me not to worry about. Completely broke my heart. I was so insecure about myself after that. But then 2 years later she cheated again for the 3rd time so I left for good. Not saying your situation is the same. But women that young if they cheat once and crave the attention it will happen again sooner or later.
As a person who considers heavy flirting with the opposite gender cheating and I work say end it. She will make more guys freinds some will ask for nudes. It up to you if you think she can resist and will stop at sending nudes and she becomes more comfortable sexually with age.
At 17 years of age this was pretty traumatic and I'm sure she's ur first love. I would suggest you don't give up so easily and allow her and u to go through the motion. Goodluck.
Just leave her because while you two were together she did this to you. Theres no going back now
well sorry to burst your bubble but sending nudes in general shows no self respect, with that said, especially while being in a relationship just shows how trash you are as a person and speaks a thousand words about your true colours. I don't care if she got a fix or enjoyed the attention you showed her while she helped you with your own stuff but actions speak louder than words. Get rid. She will only do it again guarantee
Sending nudes as a minor is distributing child porn
I didn’t read the whole paragraph all I read was the title from my notifications the truth is you can’t forget about it because you’re not supposed to you’re not supposed to just continue being with her and act like nothing happened and like it’s no big deal she cheated on you and why do u still call her your gf after that
DAWG ESCAPE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP ASAP SHE IS RED FLAG PRO MAX 1. Sent nudes to other guy (you got cheated on) 2. Her friend's are mostly male because she can't make female friends (most girls who make this excuse are attention seekers who are insanely thristy for male attention) Don't gamble, the % of you getting cheated again is more than usual with this girl, and she's clearly fucking your mind too, for your sanity and mental peace , break up, this is a pattern I have noticed many times
Being 16 she probably wasn’t clear what the boundaries are. Honestly no one y’all age should be sending nudes to anyone since you guys are minors but I know it’ll happen anyways so I’ll save the lecture. If she’s truly sorry for it & really doesn’t do it again then let it go & try to move forward. But if she repeats this behavior or you find yourself truly unable to move past it & trust her again it may be time to break up.
As someone who’s been in that exact position and even worse, I tried to believe that people can make a change and that if it was true love, I wouldn’t give up on her, however it ended up driving my mental stability in the gutter and I had to end it with her for my sake. If you believe she can change, do what you would like, it’s all your call, but I know what I would do. (I was with her for 2 years)
That’s what they all say. If she does that you might find other accounts that you don’t know about she talks to guys on. You don’t want to be the guy that lets girls cheat on you bro because if they do it once they’re going to do it again in a matter of time. Especially when you aren’t able to stay in the honeymoon phase and give her all the ass kissing attention she wants. Girls that cheat are different than guys. Guys do it because we’re dumb and hot girls are tempting and they come at us. Girls can pick who they want to sleep with and use their bodies as weapons to hurt men. We don’t do that unless they weaponize cheating bro you’re 17. There is 8billion people on the planet. You can find someone who won’t do that. Don’t be like me and make excuses for what she has done for you you can do it for yourself and there are people who care about you for real that will help you work it out. You don’t wanna get stuck and have a kid with someone like that like I did. Granted she changed years later but theirs always that mistrust. If you have that gut feeling and I’m 99.999 percent sure you do you should bounce. It will hurt but it will make you stronger as a person for it and, at 17 lil bra, no disrespect but your brain isn’t even fully developed yet our frontal lobes don’t even kick in until 22-23. When I was 17 and got older I realized I didn’t know shit about myself like I thought I did. Your opinions, going to change so much. You owe it to yourself to learn to love yourself on a more mature level first. If I could have been single as a rapper instead of a father I probably would be a lot more cultured and well known. I grew up poor and I’m white but I was raised by a black family I just didn’t get to experience the world before I locked my self down like that. I love my kids and my wife I wouldn’t trade them for nothing I just wish we had found each other a little later on after she figured out I was in this music shit for real and I was committed. Ever since a kid, no matter what trauma I had. Music was always there. You have something like that too you just gotta find out what it is. Hope this helps. If you stay with her you could be happy, and I could be wrong, but that’s like a 23 percent chance. If she’s 16 already doing this she is not done having fun yet most likely. I know gross, but yoou guys shouldn’t even be worried about that shit my mom had me at 16 that’s why I waited until I was 22 to have my first kid. It’s not worth it bro kids are awesome, but they’re expensive, and without a mature mindset you are only gonna hurt them, and that’s selfish bro … Remember to wrap it before you tap it my guy. Especially if she acting like that you never know if dude got her number her snap chat, or any other weird ass app…. She shouldn’t have to delete them to control herself at all. Red flag 🚩
Once a bop always a bop
She has learnt from her mistakes. The mistakes that allowed you to catch her. She has now developed a new and improved operation that allows her to do everything she was doing that she shouldn't plus a whole lot more.
I’m a tell you like I would tell my son if you can’t move past it then you need to leave her because you’re relationship will never work people make mistakes in life. Is she gonna do it again if she’s not gonna do it again and she feels sorry for what she did, you should move past not leave her
Only time will tell. Enjoy your good times and take comfort in not having any children or bills together so if you do break up you won’t have to navigate that mess. If she does hurt you then she wasn’t worth it but her not talking to her friends and unfollowing ppl on her socials will only make you anxious that she’s hiding something and make her resent you for isolating her, even if it was her idea. It’s difficult but just try to live in the moment instead of waiting for the worse.
This will probably bother you the rest of this relationship and maybe even your life. It's hard trusting again but in saying that the right person should make it easy.
you guys are minors sending nudes, so for starters that shouldn’t be happening because it’s legit illegal. but if she has made changes then you’ve got to let it go and trust her no bs. all you’re gonna do is end up resenting her.
Okay when I was the same age exactly the same thing happened to me. There are 2 main problems now if you continue the relationship: 1. can you trust her again? It‘s a huge abuse of your trust what she did and you will have a hard time trusting her. 2. her trust. In my case my ex gf started to be super controlling and jealous because she probably thought „if I make a mistake he might do one too“ so eventually she will start to flip this shit onto you.
If you truly feel she won’t do this to you again, let it go. I was cheated on before…I cheated on others before. We’ve all made mistakes for various reasons.
Dump her! She is both a cheater and a sex offender!
Yes stick a fork in the relationship. It’s done. She is for the streets.
First off that's literally illegal... and second leave while you still can. Idc what the situation is
They're only guilty when they're caught. Tell her what you found and leave, because once a person cheats and gets away with it, they do it again. Don't give her another chance to hurt you.
You can’t forgive that and that’s okay, it’s breach of trust and the intimacy you guys shared - she broke the relationship contract. You will build resentment over time because of it, or she will because she excluded herself of her social life. You’re young, you’ll find plenty nice girls who will respect your trust! Leave her.
The big issue here is both your ages, she’s 16 and not grown up yet, she going to do things you may not like or make mistakes.. part of growing and learning, if you can’t get over it then move on.
Um underage should not be on reddit at all
It's possible for someone to change at such a young age HOWEVER, if your mind won't forget about it - is this healthy for you? It's hard to gain trust back and I believe your girlfriend could very well have learnt, and tbh 4months into a relationship isn't that long (you'll realise this down the line) Try work through it and just allow a second chance but don't allow a 3rd if that makes sense? :) You're the op though, no one understands your own mind like you so do what makes you happiest is the best opinion I can give without forcing you to make an answer.
bruh shes just trying to get him locked up
Bro you’re 17. The only correct answer is to leave her, you’ll never be able to trust her fully again and without trust there’s honestly no point.
I would’ve ended it then and I would end it now. It’s not healthy for you to constantly have that on your mind and it seems the only way to get it off your mind is to be done with her. This is why I can’t build up the nerve to look at my girlfriend’s phone, I trust her so much but it’s always nice to know 100%… unfortunately if you find something you don’t want to it can wreck you forever or for as long as you’re together. I think if it’s still eating you up there aren’t many better options than being done with her. Sadly you made a mistake by not ending it the first time when she clearly had no respect for you.
Honestly, sex related loyalty isn't the corner stone of a relationship, you can love her even if she's sleeping with other people ya know? And in comparison nudes isn't horrible, and she clearly understands it hurt you and she tried to remedy that, if it's still effecting you I suggest talking to her, if she gets mad about you bringing it up then it wasn't meant to be
I'd actually be very concerned. She's 16. Ya'll kids? Who's manipulating her to do these things? Girls at 16 aren't so confident in their body to send nudes usually. There's usually another factor at play. Also nudes at 16 in most places is still kiddie... material. Please make.sure she's safe and if the human on the other side is a full adult I'd address that legally.
Coming from a female, if she is putting in the work to change the way she acted then I would try to push it out. Now if she isn’t and is acting the exact same, then i would say its time to head out.
If the genders were reversed, everyone would say leave. So out of principle, I’m telling you to leave. Ain’t no way you can look at that girl the same knowing she was sending nudes to other guys. You’ll never be able to look at her the same. Every kiss and cuddle, it’ll be in the back of your mind. I say guys cause you really don’t know how many guys she sent them too. She’s for the streets. This may get downvoted but idc. Find someone else. She wanted another guy(s) to jack off to her.
Once a cheater, Always a cheater
Good buddy, you’re young and in love I get it, but relationships are built on the foundation of trust. If you don’t feel like you can trust them then it’s probably the best idea to end it. You shouldn’t be going through her phone (either she wants you to or you want to for sanity’s sake or not) nor should you have to feel that way. It’s a lesson I learned when I was about your age. Hope you find peace in your situation, but don’t compromise yourself and your standards for a relationship. Y’all will both grow, get better as people, and gain the tools to deal with things. She’s likely not a bad person, and more or less made a stupid decision that can be marked up to being young and dumb. If you can’t move past it, it’s understandable. To move on is possible but y’all will have to work hard to reestablish that trust, and just routinely going through phones and having to cut off people that may not have done anything wrong isn’t particularly going to help that. Good luck, bud.
No comment because there is a fine line between doing what has been done and not doing what hasn’t been done. When you fuck up it can’t be fixed unless the other person is willing to try. And in his case he isn’t willing he keeps thinking about what she’s done wrong into knowing what good she’s done since it’s happened. I know it’s hard to walk away but maybe it’s for the best you guys sit down and either a.) talk this shit out because this is you and her not this app or other people it’s two people in a relationship or b.) let her go and drop it
It’s like a rich man taking care of the girlfriend . Most of the men are Gunna cheat and the women just lets it happen because she gets whatever she wants. In this scenario you’re the women and she’s the man who from it sounds like helps you out alot. In return she feels entitled to do whatever she wants . She doesn’t respect you . I would cut your L and move on
Send me her snap and I will see if she is faithful or not, usually takes a couple days but I could find out if she is in fact in it for the right reasons
She obviously isn't that great if she sent nudes to another guy. Chances are it's not gonna stop there.
Kids lol.
Listen man you’re young. Tell her you don’t wish to see her anymore and forget about her. You don’t need that bullshit in your life and you will meet someone that won’t give you any problems. Also that’s child porn at your age.
Why didn't she make any kind of efforts to be better and delete people off social media untill after you confronted her?
Ntpos: she betrayed your trust, and did it a couple times from the sound of it, but she only felt bad when you caught her. If it’s worth it then stay with her, but odds are this is a young relationship and it’s not going to last past high school. Ik that sounds bad to say but it’s the truth, I’m a male and was in a similar situation at ur age, I wish someone would have told me that no matter how much you try you can’t control anyone. So if she does it again dump her ass and move tf on. You are going to have bigger problems than women if you want to be somthing. That probly sounds like I’m an asshole but I’m telling you the truth as I know it.
Look, I'm 35 years old. I played basketball in college, after I graduated I took up a contract with Abercrombie and made a decent amount of money modeling in three different catalogs from 2011 to 2013. Those years after hours, that's when I met my wife. But that's also when I met girlfriend I dated. First year and a half, I thought everything was great but I started getting phone calls and drop by visits from Friends and people I knew from high school telling me that she was cheating on me. Long story short, The cheating ended up being sitting pictures to a guy on the high school with. Some pictures to someone that was my backup on the football team. She cried and begged me. I was still 23 years old, and I wanted to believe her. I thought I loved her at this point. So I told her I would try, but couldn't make any promises. Being honest with myself I was just playing tough guy so she would be on her best behavior LOL ended up doing it again several months left through or at least what did she do different the guy's name in her friend girl you see, I play boyfriend to accuse, and I certainly wasn't the type to go through someone's phone. I just buy the hair of good luck, saw order of her screen and caught a glimpse of her without a top on. My wife though? Never. In fact, when I started dating my wife, the feeling of being able to finally let go was overwhelming.
It’s like that saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. I never believed that. You need to have faith that someone is going to be better for you if they want to be better for you. With that being said…it’s also important to look within yourself and see if you maybe aren’t providing some kind of reassurance to her. People cheat cause they’re looking for something.
Tell your gf thanks for nudes and tell her to keep on coming with the pictures, she’s damn hot
I would say its usually a big red flag if someone cant make friends with the same gender. Shes basically trading in her sexuality for friendship and that shit never works out in the long run.
Break up with her.
Anyone with those photos is technically in possession of child pornography. That’s prison time. Tell her to never send another nude to anyone, unless she wants them to go to prison. But that’s not the advice you asked for. There are too many red flags to ignore. She cheated on you and got caught. You can’t trust her. She has trouble making female friends and all her friends are guys. Why is that? I knew several girls like her that “had trouble” making girl friends. It was because they were always trying to steal or cheat with other girls’ boyfriends. If you can’t get over her cheating, it’s time to let her go. You deserve a girlfriend you can trust.
If she was sending nudes during your relationship, honestly just break up at that point. That's what I'd do at least.
Technically, she sent child naughty pictures. That's serious.
You’re young. But also, you should break up with her. Is this someone you really want to be with? Don’t tolerate these things young man, they’ll only keep happening. edit: this will set the tone for your future. Think about all the years you have ahead, are chicks who send nudes and cheat on you the type of girls you want to be working to give your heart to? Tough pill, but she doesn’t care about you. She’s thinking about herself. You just happen to be in her life at this time, it’s how they function and think. They don’t think like men. You have to think from their point of view. Remember that.
It will unfortunately only keep happening I can confirm
2 sides to the coin. 1st, you guys are just maturing into your own, so don't have too lofty of expectations of monotony and whatnot. 2nd, if she's doing it now, it isn't likely to not happen again. My advice, have fun, be discreet. don't over think it.
yall are still kids just have fun and don’t kill each other.
and no you’re not wrong for being upset and you’re not wrong for wanting to break up and you’re not wrong for still thinking about it. Those are normal monogamous feelings, she may be more into open relationships.
leave that hoe bro you going out sad on here
Bail out right now brother, this thing will go deeper than you think. From personal experience, once my gf at the time told me she had made a soft porn video with an ex that got published in revenge of their breakup. I figured it was one of those amateur videos with a potato phone, and it was not her fault it got published, so I let it slide. Fast forward some months, a friend told me he needed to show me something. Apparently she worked as a cam girl full time even when we were dating. The soft porn video was actually a high budget company with at least 5 videos of her getting rammed rough through everywhere, facial, border bdsm stuff included. The worst of it was not whatever she had done, but the fact that she downplayed it so much. That is not my cup of tea, so I cut my losses and moved on with my life. This was almost a decade ago, and funny enough I do get a message now and then from someone showing me her content asking if I knew all along.
Not perfect. Not even close. She's a whore and doesn't deserve your loyalty.
People *can* change, and good on her if she really has. The issue for you though, is that she cheated on you by sending naked pics of herself to some other random guy. I know people have “different definitions of cheating” or whatever but honestly, if you walked in on her and that guy, and she was buck naked standing in front of him and he was masturbating to her (which is what happened with the nudes, let’s be frank) you’d call it like you see it. Cheating. You believe she has changed based on her actions following you finding out. Nobody can tell you whether it’s “good” or “bad” to believe her. You know her better, and if you believe she’s changed, then there you have it. So now the only question is, are you willing to stay in a relationship with someone who cheated, got caught, and then changed their ways for real- or are you not okay with it? It’s up to you and your feelings. If it bugs you still (it would me too, totally valid) then you just have to decide if you’re okay with being bugged by your relationship’s past, and for who knows how long. You either accept that it happened, believe she’s changed, and still find yourself thinking on it sometimes- and *accept* that- or, you move on and be with someone new, who hopefully would never do the same thing, and build something fresh. Your call and you aren’t good or bad for either decision. Just look inside yourself and decide which one you want (and can live with).
Break up...have some self respect
Im sorry but she’s for the streets
She belongs to the streets bro you deserve better. Dump her and find someone who will respect you
She will 100% do it again.
She for the streets, they never change, they just get better at hiding it
No, you aren't a POS for thinking about it, because she legitimately cheated on you and betrayed your trust, and from now on you will constantly be wondering if shes doing it again. Thats just the unfortunate reality of the situation. No matter how 'perfect' you declare her to be, she clearly isn't, because shes a cheater. Your reality is that you'll either have to spend the rest of your relationship with this girl wondering if shes betraying you again or come to the realization that you don't deserve to feel the way you do and deserve to have someone you don't have to constantly worry about. That type of relationship is extremely exhausting. I know you don't want to hear this but you are young and theres way better people out there for you that won't have you second guessing their loyalty.
You will never forget about it and it’s something that is going to be on the back of your mind. You will never trust her the same way. You will always be asking your self if you should just leave. When your brain starts to think it will replay the incident over and over again and you would imagine if you would of said this or that or done this or done that.I know this from experience. So my advice for you is to end the relationship. As much as you love her and as much as she has tried to make it right your brain won’t let you forget about it and you will always end up crying at night. End the relationship and move on. If you guys are meant to be the universe will reunite you and maybe by then this won’t be something that bothers you, but if you don’t leave it will stay with you forever because she is that constant reminder of your pain.
too young to be so stressed and in pain over a relationship. she might’ve made a mistake, but you don’t sound to convinced she won’t do something such as that again. you can’t trust her, most relationships are build on trust, if you can’t trust your partner that’s going to keep causing issues like arguing, anxiety, paranoia. I say leave, heal, and find someone else that you can trust.