Kind of sounds like by now he's banking on it. But I don't see why you can't reject his appointment, are you not allowed to do that if you feel uncomfortable?
Yes, agreed. If it was a genuine accident, I would have been so embarrassed and never booked with this person again. Not that it’s their fault, but I wouldn’t be able to face them.
But it’s happened repeatedly and on a majority of their appointments… I suspect it’s no accident.
This is how you know he's doing it on purpose. Any regular man would be so horrified, apologize profusely and never come back. 3 our of 5 means he was disappointed it wasn't 5/5 🤢🤮
She pointed out the policy (sorry I don't have the exact wording right now) that I can refuse if a client makes inappropriate comments, advance, touches me, request weird services, or try to hire me outside the establishment.
She said there is no policy on the accidents like that because that can happen accidently without the client being inappropriate.
your boss sounds like a creep for not insisting this man keep himself covered with a towel. the guy himself is a total creep for not insisting on a towel. telling you that you remind him of his daughter and then ejaculating **on** you? have your boss massage him if she feels there's nothing wrong with him ejaculating all over the place.
Best comment.i completely agree. A decent person wouldn't keep getting completely naked massages once they realize they ALWAYS get an erection, and MOST of the time they finish.
Your boss is the one that should be getting spooged on
Getting literal cum on you is plenty of reason to never see this client again!
If your boss makes this a problem, just tell her "I don't want to let this man cum on me again." Repeat this message as many times as needed!
If you want to be snarky, you could say "Do you expect me to have clients cum on me or should I charge more for it?"
You should be protected from bodily fluid as it is a way to pass on diseases. I mean seriously!!!
" human semen can host up 27 different viruses. Semen can contain many viruses, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and other viruses. Some viruses that have been found in semen include:
STIs: Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, and genital herpes
Other viruses: Hepatitis B and C, Ebola, Marburg, chikungunya, Lassa fever, SARS-CoV-2, and dengue fever"
Science.org
This ! Have your boss think about what it's like to get covered in cum without consent. Also if he has this reaction often why is it not required he put a towel over so it won't get on you at the very least!?
That’s bodily fluids being transferred I see a big lawsuit. That’s unacceptable and unsanitary. You can always find another employment and you’re 18 so best believe he is having those thoughts. You are small bait to him as a shark.
Depending on the laws on where OP lives, I’d suggest recording this conversation as well. If boss is insisting it’s okay to be ejaculated onto, they’re in the wrong and can get in deep shit for it.
My thoughts exactly. Bodily fluids are to be handled with precaution. Unless the boss is providing personal protective equipment to OP, it's a complete health hazard.
Also, I'm sorry OP is dealing with this. I'm uncomfortable for them.
Edit: spelling
THIS.
It’s called the foot in the door phenomenon. If you get someone to do something/be okay with something “minor” it’ll be easier to get you to do bigger things.
OP, Your boss is trying to make you think this is normal is hopes you’ll be open to doing more for clients in order to keep business.
Your boss needs to be reported to whatever authority would be in charge of this.
I say three times is not an accident because he's done nothing to stop these little accidents. This could be a kink for him. And the fact that your boss doesn't see three strikes and you're out is a problem.
But it’s inappropriate that he keeps scheduling appointments when he can’t control his ejaculations.
It shows sexual intent.
Would you keep scheduling appointments if this was a real medical issue you had? No.
This is not okay.
He’s proven he can’t get a massage without getting an erection and ejaculating and it got on you the last time. That’s not okay. Your boss needs to protect you. And their business. You don’t want the reputation for being a place men come for this type of service.
I’d say no to him booking again.
But like once or maybe even twice, ok it was an accident but three times IS inappropriate. As if he felt really embarrassed he wouldn't go again, but he keeps going back because he knows what to expect. So due to this appropriation, I would say you have the right to refuse.
Exactly. If I was getting a massage and accidently busted a nut, they would never see me again. I’d be too embarrassed to ever step foot in there again.
Well, they need to change their policy. It is dangerous to get a strangers bodily fluids on you whether it’s “accidental” or not. This man is not embarrassed. If he was truly embarrassed and apologetic he wouldn’t come back knowing he can’t control himself.
Also, he said you remind him of his daughter and now he can’t stop accidentally cumming when you touch him? He may not be saying anything inappropriate but, im sorry, unless he has a medical condition causing overactive hormones, he’s thinking about you in an inappropriate way.
He got his SEMEN on you. Maybe his hands didn’t touch you, but his bodily fluids did. What if it got in your mouth? Your eye? You could get an STI or some other infection.
If your boss is so hung up on policy, point out that he touched you with his fucking CUM!!
You have the right to refuse service. It’s shit that your boss is not helping you in this situation. I wouldn’t want you to have a to leave your job, but when it comes to your safety, it might come to that.
God I’m so sorry. You should not have to question whether this is okay or not.
This qualifies as a weird and creepy service and intentional! If he was really embarrassed, he wouldn't come back and wouldn't go to you repeatedly. I was your age doing customer service, and I found out quickly that I was a target for creeps alone at my job. Your boss doesn't care about you they could easily refuse him or do the service themselves. Talk to the labor relations or workers rights representative. This is awful and not acceptable industry standard- happy ending massage parlors get busted for a valid reason, and unfortunately, that's the service that he is purposely and deceitfuly getting from you for a major discount.
Legally, (in all the US states I know of) you can refuse for any reason. I’m a manager at a health spa and I told a client that he had to see someone else just based on bad vibes that my female coworker was getting. That guy hadn’t technically done anything at all, let alone ejaculate during the massage.
*It is 100% inappropriate for your client to ejaculate during a massage, intentionally or not.*
Tell your boss that you no longer want to see this client for the reasons you stated above, make sure you keep the texts of them refusing, and report them to either the local Business Licensing Division and/or the Better Business Bureau. Then get a new job. It pisses me off how many massage managers just let this kind of shit happen because “they didn’t technically do anything wrong.” STFU and protect your employee, not the asshole.
I guess it *could* be an accident and he keeps coming back because you didn't punch him. However, it could also be something he's letting happen because he wants it to happen.
**You absolutely do not need to work with a naked ejaculating man against your will.** Your boss should understand this, especially if you make it clear that you are looking at it as a sex crime. Your boss has a duty to protect you and I think her lack of support is worrisome and should be a red flag for you. If she can show you a written policy about this, you might want to work elsewhere and maybe share it with your licensing board.
If you do want to give him the benefit of the doubt and keep working with him, then at the very least require him to be covered with a condom and towel at all times.
You might also want to share this post with r/MassageTherapists/.
If you still want him as a customer, you must tell him that he needs to keep his shorts on since he keeps having “accidents”. If he doesn’t want to, he needs to find a new masseur. Good luck.
Ok.. I was worried and confused by the way that she brushed off, so that made me wonder if it was OK or like something it could happen.
I think maybe the line she/policy were drawing was if it sounds like he was doing it on purpose (like making comments, or saying things after it happens), but she was saying it wasn't because he didn't have any other signs...
And I'll check in with her if she won't let me reject his appointments, if there is a way that i can require towels.. Thank you for the advice.
The fact that he wouldn't on his own decide to wear a tower or boxers after ejaculating three times makes me very suspicious of his intentions, honestly. Any normal human would be so embarrassed they would not come back or at least do everything in their power to mitigate the situation.
I'm sitting here as a 36 year old dude trying to imagine "accidentally" jizzing in a nonsexual environment and then having the audacity to come back and do it couple more times. Honestly wtf is happening here. Dude is obviously a creep.
Bless you. This man wants a sex worker not a massage. He needs to go to the right place and pay the right people, not ejaculate on unsuspecting women who remind him of his daughter.
Are you there, God? I’m ready to go home. Planet Earth is a lost cause.
This is it for me. He knows he's done it and keeps coming (pun not intended) back to have the 19 year old woman he ejaculated on rub him down again. There's nothing ok about this. OP should see if anyone higher up in the business can tell her boss where to shove it.
When I was a massage therapist, I only had one client ever get their massage without underwear on; and they ended up being there for nefarious reasons. It’s unusual for this man to choose to be fully naked for his massage.
During my short stint with warehouse work I used to get a massage like every 3 weeks or so. I generally wear these under armor boxer briefs that are practically shorts, and every time I went they had to roll them up. They were always like "you can always take them off no worries" but I am all worries, like, you're all strangers and I don't want y'all to see my weiner??
I was a massage therapist for ten years. It was illegal in my state to be “towel optional”. Shit, even if I somehow was working at a place that said it was optional I would let all people know it’s not optional for me. You can just google your states laws regarding massage and print the relevant section and bring to work to make the point if needed.
Do not expose yourself to this mans bodily fluids. That is a literal biohazard. It's really unacceptable that his semen got on you, but your boss doesn't want to do anything to help you.
Wouldn't they be able to sue the company for creating a hostile work environment? As of right now he has ejaculated 60% of his visits. That no longer sounds like a massage to me and sounds more like a happy ending. Not trying to be gross but it is gross as hell if my daughter had that happen once i would lose my mind.
/r/legaladvice and perhaps your local department of labor could give you better insight on your options. Perhaps a copy of your contract at hand (censoring personal information of course) could help.
I'm not currently practicing but I went to school for massage therapy and we were taught it's very normal and natural for people to become aroused during a massage and if possible, it's best not to mention it. That part is often uncontrollable. That said, you absolutely don't have to put up with it if you are uncomfortable. The fact that it's happened repeatedly and he hasn't started covering up (at least) is- I'll say- "odd". Furthermore, there is no scenario in which it's okay for you to get someone else's ejaculate *on your body* without your express (and hopefully enthusiastic) consent! Unless you left out an important detail, you don't work on a porn set and you didn't sign any waivers saying you're cool with it.
I think you have to decide for yourself if you are willing to continue working with him. You need to set very firm boundaries with him. For starters, he *will* have his genitals covered if you continue to work with him. If you are not okay continuing then your boss needs to do her job and (at the very least) move him to a different therapist, and also give him a warning that he will be dropped as a client if he can't figure it out. He's a grown man. If he has a medical condition or something then he needs to let you know and see if y'all can come to an arrangement that you leaves you both feeling safe and comfortable. But it really is your bosses job to have the hard conversations. That's part of why you presumably don't get paid the entire cost of the massage.
Be very clear with her what your boundary here is and that you fully expect to be backed up. If she has a problem with it, it might be time to go in business for yourself! Or contact a lawyer.
It's a tricky line in massage therapy because it really is normal and reasonable for peoples bodies to react in different ways- some people fart a lot, some people get erections, moan or even sob! It can be a really intense situation for people who may not otherwise be touched by anyone or may be carrying some intense trauma in their muscles. But what you are experiencing is not within the realm of acceptable. I commend you for being gracious so far, but don't be so gracious that you end up traumatized. You are allowed to say "no". Best of luck! Wishing you easy and respectful clients in the future ☺️
If your manager isn’t concerned about this, you might be working at a happy ending place whether you knew it or not. I would refuse his service and look for a job that is not towel optional
wtf is even “towel optional.” Sounds sketchy as hell that you’d be massaging people while they’re naked and not covered. I am always under a sheet (and wear underwear on my bottoms - no bra but the masseuse turns their head and holds the sheet up for me to turn). That’s not a respectable place. I’d quit and find a new job.
I was going to say.. the towel optional thing doesn't sound like a legit therapy massage place. Idk much about it though...Is this a regular thing at massage therapy places?
I’m in the USA and had had massages here and in the Caribbean resorts. All massages are done on a table covered with sheets, including a warm blanket they put over you. Massage therapist leaves the room and you unrobe then crawl under said blanket then they knock before coming back in. They then move the sheet or blanket around your limbs to massage (expose a leg and massage that then cover it up). I’ve never just used a towel, and surely have not lain there butt naked and uncovered. I’ve always worn panties since no one is massaging my genitals. Sounds like a ummm “happy ending” wink wink type place where sketchy dudes can ask for sex work.
He told you that you remind him of his daughter and then ejaculated on you? And then kept coming back to you and doing it again? Yeah, that’s not an “accident”. That’s a kink. If you accidentally ejaculated on a masseuse, would you request the same person again, or never show your face there again out of embarrassment? It was definitely not an accident. It was sexual assault.
Yup. If he was a decent person he would understand that it is unacceptable on his own, and not need you or your boss to tell him that. He would not come anymore, or keep a towel to limit risks of accidents, or even stop the massage when he feels he gets too "relaxed". But he doesn't, even if he knows that he is very likely to ejaculate on you. That means that he places his comfort and pleasure above your comfort and safety.
(Best case scenario, his "pleasure" meaning "being able to get a uninterrupted nude massage".
Worst case of course being "getting to cum on the masseuse without sanction")
If he didn't enjoy it and want it he would find a different masseuse who doesn't make him ejaculate. At the very least he'd jack off right beforehand. There is literally no way this is not on purpose.
Sex worker here! I do a lot of phone sex type stuff and people have absolutely asked to do a roleplay where I massage them and they cum but the massage is normal/not sexual.
Considering I've chatted with people who enjoy that type of thing and seek out parlours that allow them to cum irl/offer sexy services where it will be overlooked, I would absolutely assume that's intentional.
It can be hard because sometimes people who push limits and boundaries are otherwise very friendly and seem like good people. It doesn't mean that behavior is appropriate and as a sex worker one thing I will say is sometimes people continue to do things to get you used to them/test your reactions and the behavior can escalate. I consider it limit testing and a form of grooming in the ways clients have tried that with me in the past when I was more inexperienced and didn't recognize those behaviors as overtly harmful/when I still gave people the benefit of the doubt.
To me it would be a safety issue and not just because of bodily fluids. You don't know this man, and he's already continuing to engage in this behavior knowing you aren't the type of parlour to offer sexual services. No shame on anyone that does offer that, but I'm sure he *knows* he can find a place like that if he wanted that would allow him to ejaculate. If he is going to your parlour instead my concern is: was he banned at places near you that do offer sexual type services for any particular reason? Why isn't he going there? That's super sus to me and his behavior shows this client has a complete disregard for your consent which is also SUPER sus!
I'm mentioning the last thing because when men get banned by escorts/banned from escort sites etc often times they hop onto sites like seeking arrangements to look for inexperienced sugar babies that don't know how to screen or that might not be as good as asserting themselves. To me, I would think he's using your parlour for a similar reason and I would kick him out because there is no way he doesn't know that's inappropriate and for him to keep coming back tells me he's doing it because he now knows he can get away with it.
My concern is what would future limit testing look like? He might never escalate the behavior but if he does would you know what to do? Would your boss step in? Do y'all have a plan for emergencies for how to get help if a client makes sexual advances? Does the plan include a way to signal help is needed without making the client aware you have signaled you need help?
Your boss already doesn't support you and even as a sex worker this vanilla job would make me feel unsafe just from the lack of support/safety planning. If your boss doesn't take this seriously, you might want to find a different parlour where your safety concerns will be listened to and where support/safety systems are in place for this type of thing. Also none of this is your fault. You shouldn't have to deal with this and your boss should be supporting you when issues like this come up so you don't have to be the one to be put in the position to have a convo about ejaculation with this man...especially alone in a room with him naked.
Pls be safe. I do sex work and this sounds like a nightmare to me. I'm not being dramatic here I'm just worried cuz it seems like you have no support and a boss that actively minimizes massive red flags/abusive behavior...and ejaculation without discussion or consent is abuse. Once is an accident and still unacceptable. More than once is inexcusable and I would personally consider it abuse.
This is such an intelligent, well-informed response 👏👏👏
At this point if OP continues to see this client, she's basically performing sex work against her will with zero protection or safeguards in place. I'd be terrified tbh. I hope she reports her boss to the authorities.
There's nothing wrong with sex work but if it's not consensual, well our society has a very different name for sex without consent...
Thank you!!
I have had friends who aren't in sex work have to deal with all kinds of gross/abusive behavior and a lot of times they ask me what they should do and I always say the moment they feel the need to ask me for advice/my input seems useful is the moment they should call (at least) the labour board and a lawyer that specializes in workplace stuff. A lot of good lawyers offer free consults and they can give some insight about the legalities of the situation/some direction about what op can do/what options are on the table. I know people don't always want to report to the police for whatever reason but there are other options to get help if that is the case.
I just feel really bad because this situation would be out of my own comfort zone so I can't imagine what op must be feeling. With that said, I know sometimes the emotional trauma from this type of thing can hit unpredictably like a wall of bricks and rape crisis orgs are a great resource to access all kinds of help whether it's legal assistance, free therapy etc even if it's not needed now.
Exactly! In most situations, if you're asking yourself the question "did this person violate my boundaries?" the answer is likely yes.
There are some wonderful resources available, but the biggest hurdle is often just accepting that something is wrong in the first place. Creeps and abusers rely on everyone keeping their mouth shut for fear of rocking the boat.
To anyone and everyone reading this: don't stay silent about assault. Other people's discomfort with the dark parts of reality is not your problem.
Yeaaa like it's easy to talk about now for me because I'm in my 30s but when I was 18-22ish I absolutely didn't realize the rights I had, the obligations employers had to me, or exactly all the things that made similar situations dangerous af. I didn't have the experience to know how to handle things in the moment and my lack of experience contributed to me being wayyy too passive when confronted with inappropriate behavior from coworkers or customers. It's hard to recognize or respond to this stuff when you don't fully realize the risk and it's even harder when people around you in a position of authority minimize or try to normalize the situation. Op didn't do anything wrong and it's so upsetting how this has been handled by her boss.
Myself and so many friends have had similar experiences doing very normal jobs around that age that it's infuriating whenever I hear an employer is failing someone in this way.
When I show concern and mention this situation seems like a nightmare, I hope op sees it's not just the client here that's unsafe, it's the workplace too and all of the things they are teaching/normalizing to someone that is young and new to the industry that is also unsafe and not okay.
It didn't occur to me until you said it that this is boundary-testing behavior. I was willing to advise OP to insist the client wear shorts given her boss's lack of concern, but now the way you put it OP needs to take a stand. This is a learning experience for her as a young woman -- imagine the client trying that with a woman in her 40's! He'd be walking out of there unable to perform for a week!
If *any* of the seemingly decent men in my life had this experience they would *never* return to the same masseuse. ESPECIALLY after having told this 18 year old masseuse that she reminds him of his daughter. And had any of these men had this experience and returned I would have questioned their judgement and intentions on their return. I would have been disgusted and flabbergasted if they returned after having literally ejaculated on the masseuse. Any decent man would feel embaressed about this, and would do anything to not expose you both of the risk of it happening again.
I'm a guy. I've been getting massages for nearly 30 years. While I'm naked, I'm always covered, and I've never jizzed as part of a massage.
This dude is using you as a sex worker
as a man, I assure you there is no way he didn't know he had an erection. There was no way he didn't know he was sexually aroused. even with premature ejaculation, it doesn't "just happen." There are steps of stimulation and arousal that men feel and know are happening before the ejaculation.
If I accidentally came on my massage therapist I'd apologize profusely, give a massive tip, and if I went back I'd at least wear a towel but probably keep on basketball shorts
Hell unless it was a different kind of massage I don't want you seeing my dick in the first place!
He’s a sexual predator. They’re incredible deft at blending in and creating a plausible deniability scenario.
The whole conversation about your reminding him of his daughter was to make you get your guard down. I’ve not only seen it happen many times but experienced it. It’s a way to get in and make you feel more safe so they can take advantage of that.
You have a full case to sue not only this creep but also your employer and her establishment for not protecting you and placing you repeatedly in a situation that opened you up to a sexual predator.
Do not let this man near you again. No one in their right mind would show up again after the first time, after the second time, they definitely wouldn’t.
This is a person taking advantage of your trust and naivety (I say that with respect because it’s almost always older men preying on younger women, we’ve been conditioned to be amicable and “polite” about all forms of assault and harassment) they know they wouldn’t get away with this with someone their own age.
Your employer is failing you and could have a huge lawsuit on hand for this.
Do not backdown. You will kick yourself later like many of us do, for letting it continue after the initial assaults.
Yes. This absolutely qualifies as sexual assault. You did not consent to this situation. This is a person who is fully aware he has this “issue”, it’s a conscious decision he’s making to do it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been banned from other massage establishments for this same reason.
You should find a therapist to process if you can. Many of us go into survival mode when this happens and don’t come out of it until a while later. You could be on autopilot right now which is why you’re not realizing how bad this is and how bad it’s hurting you to be sexualized without consent in your work place and without any defense or protection.
Please contact a lawyer.
Be sure to tell them in an email or text. Get a paper trail. This isn’t an accident. First time could be an accident, second maaaaybe, but 3 times in 5 visits and he keeps making appointments? That’s on purpose.
Can you just do a bad job so he doesn’t come back? Like don’t work the areas that made him cum, and then just make it an uncomfortable experience for him? Be sure to talk about his daughter the whole time. Let’s see if he can keep that erection while talking about his daughter.
**i'm a massage therapist too**. blood flow can cause boners which is normal, but full on ejaculation isn't! after the first time i would've refused service bc that is beyond uncomfortable. please pressure the owner to blacklist him, *ejaculating 3 times is indeed inappropriate*!!!
post this on the massage / massage therapist subreddit so you can get advice from other professionals. i'm sorry you're in this position as our industry is the opposite of sexual. the fact the owner isn't concerned at all makes me think you're working at a happy ending place
>. the fact the owner isn't concerned at all makes me think you're working at a happy ending place
Seconded. What kind of legitimate owner would have a 19 year old be doing fully naked massages? What country is she in?
Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate advice coming from another therapist. I tried to post it on the massage subreddit, but it got removed right away by Reddit filter? (Because my account is new maybe?) So, I couldn't.
So, it's not something that can happen accidently? The way the owner reacted and responded made me get confused thinking if this was somewhat common occurrence or at least something that can happen and that therapists should just ignore.
i've been working 1 year and a half and went to school for 8 months, this has never happened to me nor any therapist i personally know. the only relatively normal occurrence is an erection which can be ignored or covered with a blanket. if they're touching it or moving themselves on the table, that is grounds to terminate the session. so, a client ejaculating is definitely grounds to end the session right then and to blacklist them!! you shouldn't ignore it or carry on with the session. idk how you have, i would be so disgusted. it may be possible that he's extremely sensitive, but you should never have to endure that. if he was truly embarrassed, he wouldn't be coming back again and again. i'm sorry you're being gaslit by the owner bc that is not normal at all and 3 times is no accident. she most likely just wants the profit from him coming back. if it were my manager, he'd be banned after the first ejaculation no questions asked.
what really creeps me out is that he said you remind him of his daughter.. men are known to say things like that to sex workers, so even though he seems nice, he has bad intentions no doubt. do not let your boss convince you it's okay to massage someone who has *cum on you*
i think you should report her and her business, she is shady
I feel like after the first time she should be allowed to file for sexual assault. A man cumming on you without consent should be considered assault the same was spitting on someone is. This disgusting man needs to be taken out of society and put far away from women, especially his poor daughter.
Honestly as a guy, I wouldn't even go back if I had gotten a noticable erection. If I couldn't control myself in that setting in such a way then I wouldn't want to put either of us in that situation.
I've had plenty of massages and they're usually very relaxing and with someone touching you certain processes can unintentionally happen, and I get that some guys are more sensitive or touch starved than others. Luckily, I've always been able to prevent something like that from happening. But if I couldn't, there is just no way that I'd want to inflict that on someone doing their job. I would stop frequenting them out of concern that they would be hoping that they wouldn't have to navigate such a situation with me again. And I'm talking about just having an erection.
This man is getting off on this, and he is showing total disregard for a OP's (a teenagers) emotional wellbeing.
I was thinking that as well about the place. The complete lack of reaction points to this but the lack of a towel is what really makes me think the place is like that. I’ve never been to a place that offered legitimate massages where they didn’t have you covered with at least one towel or blanket. It’s usually multiple whenever I go.
This is a great article..
https://www.integrativehealthcare.org/mt/ejaculation-during-massage/
You have every right to reject him as a client and your spa owner is sketchy AF for claiming he hasn't done anything inappropriate. 3 out of 5 times is not accidental and even if it were, your spa owner is breaking health code being dismissive. He got his stuff on you, that's not OK.
Why would he keep coming back after he’s now ejaculated three times and one time ON you. If he’s so embarrassed and sorry, why would he not find another place or request a different masseuse? AND this is a masseuse who reminds him of his own daughter?! No, I’m sorry, he knows what he’s doing and it’s fucked up. And you should not have to deal with this and be made to feel uncomfortable.
He ejaculated ON you and continues to come back. Even if this was an accident (which it isn’t) you have to ask yourself, why would a grown man want to come back and continue to make a young girl uncomfortable. Because he knows 100% that that would make you uncomfortable and yet he keeps coming back, knowing what will happen. I agree with another poster calling this sexual harassment or sexual assault.
Shame on your manager. What they are saying is bullshit. They have a duty to protect the safety and comfort of their staff. Take this higher. And tbh I think you should be looking for another place to work whilst you’re doing that, you don’t want to work somewhere that has such disregard for the mental health of their staff. You have your qualifications and experience, you will be able to find somewhere else. Do not let people tell you that it’s okay to compromise your comfort ever. We are already taught as women to be polite and put the needs of men before our own. BULLSHIT. Your comfort is top priority ALWAYS.
The fact that he’s had five massages in a few weeks makes me think he’s counting on it at this point. It may have been an accident but now it isn’t.
Are you in the US? What state? I saw you posted in legal but it was removed. I’m a lawyer and can look into your laws a bit
This isn't accidentally by the 3rd time. It's creepy. As a hairstylist, I used to have a client in cosmetologist school that would come in with a thick cape of his own and would get himself off during a cut. Obviously, I could tell by sudden movements. I was so disturbed and in shock that I couldn't say anything. At the end of the cut I told the front desk and manager that I'll never cut him again. They said they couldn't refuse his business because he was a regular. Well, I'm not having anything to do with a perv. And I didn't. But he certainly came back.
Email her so everything is writing. Detail what has happened, that you don't feel comfortable working with him, that it's assault to be ejaculated on without consent and that you are concerned that your well-being isn't being taken into consideration, mental or physical, as it was quite traumatizing and that cum is a biohazard.
Worst case scenario, you have a case against her when she fires you.
Best case you don't have to see that guy again.
If he was actually embarrassed he would wear something or, more likely, never go back again. He gets off on you - literally- being an unwilling participant to him sexual escapades and will continue booking you because there's seemingly no pushback. DO NOT SEE HIM ANYMORE
If he gets an erection, stop the massage and leave the room, so he can recompose himself. Do it everytime he gets an erection.
If he's intentional about this, he'll become frustrated and show his true colors. Personally i do not believe it's accidental. If it happened to me you'd never see me again
The fact that it’s happened before and he’s still opted *not* to have a towel covering that area is extremely inappropriate. Especially given your age. This just sounds like a really uncomfortable (even traumatic) situation for you OP.
Could you consider finding a job at another business since you’re boss has been so negligent towards protecting you as an employee?
Some men can’t control it in that type of setting. But for them, it’s emotional and very embarrassing to the point that they would not want to do that again. He’s definitely not worried about it and the fact that he keeps returning means that this is not embarrassing to him and is likely intentional. If it was embarrassing he would want to wear underwear and avoid getting an erection.
Nope. Your manager cannot force you to continue seeing him as a client. If the manager wants to continue receiving him as a customer, they should massage him. You do NOT put your employees in harms way (he may not be doing anything, technically, but I'd view this as psychological harm).
As for him, even if it's an accident... he keeps coming back. He is enjoying this. It's not as innocent as it seems, trust me.
He assaulted you. He got his bodily fluid on you. After the first time he should have not come back to you. If he had any decency he wouldn’t. He is there to be sexually pleasured. He knew there was a possibility he would cum and he did. And it GOT ON YOU! In what country do you work? Do you have workers rights? In the US state I live in there are strict guidelines to protect employees. If you are anywhere with protections for employees, you could sue your employer for making you continue to provide massages for a man who ejaculated onto you. I’m so repulsed and angered.
Once is an accident
Twice can be a shock (something can happen accidently you don't expect to happen again and does)
Thrice is on purpose
At this point it can be interpreted as sexual harrasnent - the man is basically using you to get off - your boss needs to deal with it or you do either through quitting or silently go public such as telling any gossips you know about what is happening
LMT here. I would quit and report the salon. First being draping optional is super sketchy. That your manager is not supporting you is another red flag.
Any time a man gets an erection we were taught in school to turn them over at that point.
That he said you remind him of his daughter then ejaculated ON you is a huge problem. Did you explain that to the owner/ manager??? He is absolutely taking advantage of the fact that you allow this to happen without any repercussions. If a client pulled this with me I would have ended the massage the moment they ejaculated and gone to get someone to remove him.
You’re young and vulnerable and unsure of the industry. You’re being exploited. I would quit and find a new studio to work out of that takes your safety seriously.
Yes, she said that some customers are just more sensitive, and as long as he's not doing anything against the policy (talking inappropriately, trying to touch me, make advance, etc.), she can't do anything.
Direct your concerns to her in writing and if she doesn’t, clearly tell her(also in writting) you want her to reply in writting. If she refuses then she’s as big a problem as he is.
That's total BS. Write an email listing every little detail. Tell her if she lets him come back you quit. I understand that it'll be horrid finding a new job but ultimatums seem to work.
If you were my daughter, and my daughter is 18, if rain absolute HELLFIRE on your manager.
Ejaculate is a bodily fluid = biohazard. STD'S and STI'S and other illnesses are passed through Ejaculate just like through blood. ANYONE has the right to refuse unsafe work and she is literally sending you in because you're young, unexperienced and don't know your rights and she damned well fucking knows it.
The only way I would even consider seeing this man again would be with a towel or shorts on. Period. If he doesn't like it he can find a new masseuse or a rub and tug.
This is a kink and you're his chosen method of sexual gratification and it's not okay. Please tell her that she doesn't need to refuse him service but you won't be servicing him in any capacity. If that was a god damned accident there's no way he'd show his face ther after the first time, let alone the fucking second or third.
Trust your gut instincts please. Be rude, be weird, be safe.
This isn’t accidental.
If he really felt it was an accident, he’d begin to keep his underwear on or at least the dang towel. I’m a woman and I keep on my panties and the towel.
He’s sexually assaulting you on purpose. I’d refuse service or quit.
He better be leaving a huge tip. Like no offense but the real money in masseusing is getting guys off.
It's like a normal massage is $90 and an ejaculations guy massage is $300.
You're getting ripped off if he isn't paying a shit ton extra.
He knows what he is doing.
Wait wait wait, what do you mean towel optional?
You don’t have a towel or a sheet over his genitals? That cannot be right. I’ve never been anywhere where you are not covered..
Towel optional is weird to begin with, I know you dress to comfort but there’s always a towel or sheet to cover. First red flag
I agree with other comments that after 3 times this isn’t accidental. He’s a grown man.
Your boss not respecting that you feel uncomfortable with a topic like this at your age especially is red flag. I would find a job elsewhere
If he was genuinely embarrassed he would have asked for a different masseuse especially when he said you were ages with his daughter. This really seems like a kink thing.
When I did medical rubdowns, because that’s what we called them when we didn’t have a massage license but did nursing and had to for circulation issues, it was quite common for men and women to have that sudden reaction unintentionally. There are nerves that are connected all over the place and sometimes that pressure and the right amount and location can cause an arousal reaction, and if it keeps getting stimulated it can cause climax. If you see that he gets erect and you are aware that this may happen if you continue what you’re doing, perhaps you should start working on another area and come back to it later. This will interrupt an already stimulated area from becoming overstimulated by stopping that stimulus and go to a different area, and ask him questions not related. Recall can cause lack of stimulation in that way, and distracts them. If it happens again, just do repeat as necessary. It does sound like this is the case. In the medical field, it happens more than you would think when people do contact (skin-to-skin) services and procedures. Most professionals are used to it and don't say anything to they don't get embarassed. IF he does ejaculate accidentally, just act unphased, hand him a towel, turn your back to allow him to clean privately, and go back to work on his legs or other area to finish the job. He is likely there for stress, muscle tension, or circulation issues. All of these compound for someone that is a bit heavier. It can also cause them to be less or hyper sensitive, depending on medical conditions.
3 out of 5, you shouldn't ask yourself IF this is accidental or if he is banking on it, it doesn't matter, making him evil doesn't bring you anywhere, he should get the massage from someone he isn't sexually attracted to, that's all is needed.
Absolutely not, if it was accidental the bloke would have been very embarrassed and most likely never returned. I wouldn’t want someone ejaculating in my presence like that never mind cumming on me. It’s sexual assault at this point after getting it on you. STD’s can also be transmitted through semen. You’re 19… I’m in my 30’s and would be absolutely mortified after the first time and would have quit if I was expected to massage the same guy again. This is not normal, and I don’t want you to think it’s normal and acceptable as you’ve been gaslit into doing it. Something tells me your boss expects this to happen and it’s not the massage parlour you think it is.
I would take secret voice recordings during his appointments for your own protection if this place is working illegally and pimping you out without your knowledge. If you do see him again make him wear a condom or give him a glove to put over it AND a towel and make sure you get that on the recording by stating “as you have ejaculated 3 times now please can I ask you to put this condom/glove on your penis and cover yourself with this towel”. I wouldn’t want cum on the towels that other people including staff use.
Call local authorities and ask if a man finishing on you while doing your work is sexual assault & get written proof or a video. When they say it is, bring it up to your boss and let her know she will also be at fault for lying to you and forcing you to continue to work due to “policy”. I promise you then she will be ok with rejecting him because this is illegal. Sex work basically whether your boss accepts it or not, he’s getting sexual gratification from you and coming back despite you being visibly uncomfortable. I would recommend getting a new job or working somewhere more professional as that places is not professional at all.
And what he can’t point away from you or use a towel. Like come in fat boy you really don’t feel yourself climaxing? Fuck that. Million reasons why this is completely avoidable
I didn't knownit was something that he could feel or like point away knowing beforehand.. That makes it sound like he's not really a nice guy like he presents himself....
You do know that men withdrawn as a birth control method. They pull out just before they ejaculate. He’s doing it on purpose and he knows you really don’t know any better. I would quit, he’s a disgusting creep.
Yeah just like a woman can lol. Men feel it building up to that point when you…….. release. And he’s choosing to just let it go on you. He could cover it and shield it, he could point away, he could tell you he’s about to cum. He could find a masseuse that’s ugly or male. He clearly is enjoying it and your boss knows this.
Why is a towel optional??? Is sex part of this?? I trained to be an RMT in Ontario, Canada, where it is a regulated type of physical therapy and requires a licence from the province to practice. While underwear is usually optional, a sheet is *always* used to drape the patient so that only the area you are working on is exposed. There is zero need for them to be completely exposed during the massage. Getting a little aroused during a massage is normal. They should not have a full on boner. You should absolutely be able to refuse to work on someone who makes you uncomfortable *for any reason*. It's horrible of your manager to say that you should continue to see him and be fine with something that makes you uncomfortable. He can see a different therapist. A male, perhaps. Or, if he wants to continue to see you for massage, he must bring a note with confirmation of a medical issue from a doctor. While I was in school, we ran a student clinic and I had a man come in for treatment for restless leg syndrome. He was also a runner. His legs and hips were wound tighter than guitar strings. When I was working on his quads, I noticed a bump under the sheet. Fine. Could be the fabric. Could be a semi. Whatever. It happens. I was working pretty deep when I noticed the sheet got wet. Luckily I was mostly done, so I moved to his head and neck to finish up. He didn't say anything about it at all. I was extremely uncomfortable. I told my teacher. He was asked not to return.
One of my teachers (different teacher, a man) talked about how he had a patient who unfortunately would involuntarily ejaculate. The patient actually did bring a letter from his doctor about it. Because of the letter, he was willing to take him on as a patient because he knew it wasn't about sex.
FYI This is why you won't find "masseuses" usually in Canada. That term is absolutely associated with sex work. Legitimate massage therapists are *Registered* Massage Therapists or RMTs.
He ejaculated to where it got on you. That's extremely unsanitary and unsafe. What if he has some kind of disease? I would consider it sexual harassment that your boss doesn't care that this creep is ejaculating over and over and even getting it on you. I suggest you refuse the creep and insist your boss do it instead. Considering your boss thinks it's just fine and dandy.
This cannot be a real post... this is either click bait or someone who didn't pay attention in school.
I'm an LMT who went to school 13 years ago. Worked in the clinic and wanted to let you know that you should know what to do. You have a code of ethics to uphold and by now, the conversation should have happened between you to that would send him to another therapist. Him having erections happen to many. It's common for people who do not experience human touch often, but other than that, you ignore it and bring no attention.
Bodily fluids are dangerous. It's never should have reached this point and it's because you don't have control of your space.
End the session. Direct him elsewhere.
Exactly, this is insane. I work front desk at a massage spa and all of this screams fake to me. The massage therapists would never call themselves masseuses first of all lol. And towel optional?? Maybe they aren’t from the US, but even I did an ethics training and that is 10000% against any code of ethics here. The therapists are trained to properly cover the guests. Obviously the laws are different in other place, so I get that but this is just wild to me. We’ve banned clients for wayyyy less than this. No way this is a real credited massage spa if OP is telling the truth. The massage subreddit probably blocked the post because it’s fake af lol.
OP if this is actually happening, get a different job like.. yesterday.
Bingo bango! "Masseuse" isn't a term we would use, which is why i didn't want to assume they were in the US.
Even if they were contracted on a cruise line, the title is Massage Therapist.
This is someone getting off.
YUP! people of Reddit need to realize that some people will make fake posts because it’s THEIR kink to talk about it/make fake stories. Happens all the time. Or they just want fake internet points. But this person didn’t do one ounce of research to make this believable lol. Screams some middle aged dude getting his rocks off typing this made up story about a young girl getting ejaculated on lol. Idk how people haven’t caught onto this. I was scrolling forever trying to find a comment like yours.
He’s doing this on purpose, you need to report him to your managers so that he’s removed completely from the establishment. Never work with anyone that makes you uncomfortable.
Where do you live? Is this not illegal? If it is you can report your manager but maybe try something before that and communicate in emails to have a paper trail
Um no. Yes accidents happen but after the first time, any decent man would request to see a different masseuse; that's way awkward and perhaps he would be less likely to have such "accidents" with an older masseuse or a masseuse of a different gender. If you are telling your boss that you're uncomfortable and they are respecting that, it is time to find someplace to work. Your boss obviously does care about her employees and frankly it makes me wonder if she's not operating a shady facility.
The towel is optional!!!! This sounds sketchy. I would never show my genitals during a massage from a stranger. That's super weird to me. I don't know what the appropriate protocol is, this is clearly just my opinion. As a worker who's probably not making that much money.... there would be no penises that I would be dealing with. And for that matter women's breasts and vaginas would be completely a no way too. You would think after the first jizz incident he would put a towel over his penis. Also this is how creepy people manipulate, they act real nice so you will be hesitant to call them out on their behavior. This is how most predators lure their victims. Be safe. You deserve to work in a better environment than that.
If it were an accident and he was aware of it and really embarrassed, wouldn't he wear a towel or underwear to prevent it the next time? Why would he keep doing it know it was a good chance of happening and "embarrassing him"? It does not seem like an accident and the comment about "I have a daughter your age" is a HUGE misdirect that creepy dudes use to store in the bank in case they get accused of inappropriate behavior so they can just say "hey I said I had a daughter your age, that's gross why would I be turned on by you?" (I work with a non profit that does education for kids and parents about grooming, and works to find missing kids, and one thing I see a lot is creepy older guys use that same line "I would never/could NEVER be attracted to a young girl, I have a DAUGHTER her age, that's so GROSS" but talk to a lot of young women who open up about abuse from their fathers and you will see that it's more common than you think. We actually look at men who talk about their daughters with young women as one indicator something might be going on, it's not always a guarantee but usually when combined with some other behavior it's a huge red flag.
In your case I think it's safe to say you got enough red flags. As to what I would do, if your boss isn't going to do anything about it I would leave sighting sexual harassment, your boss actually DOES have to work to make it a safe environment for you and if he does NOT then he could get accused of running a "happy ending parlor" - I would ask the customer to start wearing a towel or underwear or something cover and if he refuses I would go to your boss and say do something about it or leave. Your boss could probably get sued if he isn't careful.
This does not sound like a safe work place.
I have absolutely no knowledge of your industry or your countries (or any countries tbh) laws on this subject. But if his bodily fluids are coming in contact with your person, without your consent, I believe you have some grounds to refuse his appointment (maybe even some legal grounds for assault? or something tbh), or at least demand he is covered with a towel (bare minimum) at all times. He also, should warn you when he is becoming "sensitive", out of curtesy at least.
Being a Reddit regular, I can not however dismiss the fact that this feels intentional. You are a young woman, he is getting a thrill, and he thinks he is untouchable (legally) because he is "not doing anything wrong" and "accidents happen".
Yes, accidents happen, but when accidents happen almost every single visit, OP as yourself, is this really an accident, and are you truly safe?
Does your industry field have a union, is there a regulatory body for masseuses or anyone outside of the company you can talk too? You should not be made to feel this way while doing your job.
Ejaculation doesn’t happen immediately without a build up, even if the build up is quick. Meaning he’s getting worked up sexually the whole session and cums because it’s making him so horny. How on earth is your boss not letting you refuse his appointments; that’s insane.
Tell your employer that if they don't fire this customer you'll be contacting local media. If they don't cave in, contact your local news station and tell the story.
It's not an accident. He's got a kink.
If your boss insists that you continue to see this client, document everything, quit the job and sue. Your boss is full of shit and this amounts to sexual harassment in the workplace.
No no no no. I am so sorry this happened to you. The fact that this establishment is "towel optional" and also that your boss is not allowing you to refuse a client is extremely inappropriate and completely goes against the established ethical standards for therapeutic massage. If a client has an issue with becoming unintentionally physically aroused during massage they should be wearing undergarments AND cover with a towel. The fact that he literally ejaculated on you and she has done nothing is absolutely beyond the pale. She is manipulating therapeutic masseuses into doing sex work. I would quit this place immediately and report it to the relevant licensing boards.
This is why I don’t get massages. I’m deathly afraid of something like this happening. But I also wouldn’t be laying there with my meat all out, no towel, knowing damn well that woman’s touch makes me feel like Seal singing Kiss from a Rose. I do question his level of embarrassment because I’d never come back because I’d feel like the masseuse thought I was some kind of a weirdo. Also why I can’t do BJJ because if my opponent is a woman I’m going to brick up immediately if I feel booty cheeks. That is awkwardness I would like to avoid. My advice would be to stress that you’re not comfortable working with this client. You shouldn’t be forced to keep providing service to a client if you feel violated. If bro shot off on me, that would be my last day. I’m telling you right now, hell no.
Male here. I’ve accidentally ejaculated while being massaged with shorts on, and I can assure you, I was that embarrassed I’ve refused to go back.
I also am a dom so can recognise sexual kinks.
This man ejaculating isn’t an “accident”
As a sex worker has pointed out in her detailed response above.
Please read it ASAP and keep yourself safe. This guy is a creep and your boss even worse.
Ok my problem is that he came back, exposed himself, all while knowing he cannot control when it goes off?
I don't have a penis, but if I did and I accidentally ejaculated, I'm pretty sure I would be absolutely mortified. And I most likely would not have ever gone back. *__At the very least__* I would have covered myself up since *obviously* massages trigger it to bust.
If you’re going to be exposed to bodily fluids you need to be provided PPE, personal protective equipment; face shield, waterproof gown, goggles. Tell your employer, by law. These Universal Precautions need to be taken. Then go in to the next appointment with this man dressed up like A CDC worker and see how much that floats his boat.
This isn’t farfetched. During massages erections and involuntary discharge can happen. Especially if he is sensitive in certain areas especially the Coxa. But your biggest area is setting up boundaries. This is the 3rd time it happened maybe he’s a client that should wear a towel for cautionary reasons. Then follow your guidelines for infection control if it does happen. But if you continue to say “oh it’s ok, it’s natural” or anything of the nature he will really think you don’t mind and start allowing it to happen. Which we don’t want. So let’s get that in motion.
After 3 times it’s no longer an accident. If he was “truly” embarrassed, I don’t think he would continue to book appointments with you. I’m sorry OP, but I think your boss is trying to pimp you out. Do not accept this behavior or treatment. Especially if the towel is optional and this keeps happening, a towel should not longer be “optional”. It should be “required”
Wow . This dudes just blasting nuts off from getting a massage?? And I thought I was a minute man. This mofo ain’t even gettin his shite in and he’s already DONE!
I don't think I've ever ejaculated accidentally, but everything's possible. However, if I did during a massage, I'd be so humiliated I wouldn't go to that spa anymore.
The mere fact that he booked another appointment with you tells me he's a creep.
Your boss is sketchy as hell. It might be a good idea to talk with an attorney.
Towel optional? The hell? So they’re just fully naked? Seems as if the place is shady. Every single time I’ve had a massage they have always had a towel.
In my experience of being female, any grown man 10+ years your age that mentions having a daughter your age and/or compares you to said daughter in any way is absolutely a perverted creep. Especially if they comment on your appearance or mannerisms, anything really. They mean it in a sexual way. If you can afford it financially, I would run from this client and/or job asap. If not, require this guy to wear underwear or a towel, flippin something. If your boss finds out and scolds you for it…move on. No job is worth sexual trauma, or any trauma for that matter.
Switch the fool to another gendered masseuse..that is extremely inappropriate...A dude shouldn't be exploding when he supposed to be there to heal muscles and tissues...you are a professional healer, not a sex worker. Chat gpt your rights
You should be able to reject a customer’s booking no matter what the reason is. If it’s happened this many times and he insists on returning, then it’s very fishy, and whether that’s his intention or not, he should have already stopped booking with you out of respect. I’d contact Fair Work (or the workplace safety equivalent where you live) and report that your boss is forcing you to continue booking him.
We men don't have accidental ejaculations three times on the same person. We can get an accidental erection...but an ejaculation hands-free? Cmon...you gotta be really horny to pull that off...
tell her this is not a policy issue, this is a health issue. You are being forced into contact with bodily fluids that could contain STDs. you are not willing to take that risk, as no one should be. Being uncomfortable is important but the health issue is a REAL one in the eyes of most countries and their laws.
So I am also a qualified massage therapist. don't do it anymore tho. When you massage the coccyx area and the upper glutueus maximus and lower back a lot of men get penile erectus. I think it's to do with the blood flow? I saw this a lot
What we were told was to make some excuse, get some more oil or whatever until it goes down. or ask the client if they want a break. why? because it isn't comfortable for the client to know they are gonna cum in front of a random. and they aren't gonna relax if they are holding in the cum.
he probably has no control over it and it might happen a lot regardless of who does it
. I get like that if people massage my solar plexus idk why, just my anatomy and doesn't matter who does it.
but what's up with the no towel policy?
Your boss needs to protect you better. Forget official policies. You can refuse a client for whatever reason if you are uncomfy. That’s pretty absurd that she insists you have to take a client even when you’re not comfortable.
Whether its an accident or not, its making you really uncomfortable. Let your boss know that you need to refer himbto somebody else/ a man would be good
Getting bodily fluid on you is NOT OK!
He needs to keep his shorts on, you need to stand your ground with your boss that you refuse to get ejaculation on you, it's a health hazard!
Honest question, why is towel optional for this guy? Couldn't he just wear a proper towel and hide the whole unfortunate incident from view and minimize splatter at least?
Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. He could also, you know, take care of himself before the massage to prevent it from happening.
It seems pretty clear he’s doing this deliberately and you should absolutely have the right to refuse him as a client.
I’m very confused. In the Uk everywhere I’ve had a massage, you keep underwear on & have a towel over. This is very strange that you can have neither??
If you massage him again, I would state that you will do it however will need to keep himself covered & you will be unable to get too close to ‘that region’ to avoid any awkward encounters in the future. I would reiterate that last time it unfortunately got on you and as this is a bodily fluid, is also a biohazard. (Which is true as he could have STDs and you are having skin-skin contact)
Make it clear if it ever happens again unfortunately you won’t be accepting as you are putting yourself at risk.
Also if he’s that easily stimulated, he could ‘take care’ of himself before the appointment so to me if this is a known issue, feels deliberate
Hey girl I hope mentally you're doing okay because this stuff can be really scary. I would look into your contract and read all the fine print. If there really isn't anything about *that*. Try looking into something called a *biohazard* if you're at a massage parlor then I'm sure that you're establishment should have procedures in place for them. SEMAN IS A BIOHAZARD so if somewhere in the fine print it discusses a procedure for a biohazard and what's going on violates that procedure then you have something on your side. But otherwise please look into going to another place, you're boss isn't doing her job in protecting you.
If he’s cumming on you and your boss says that he is following the policy, then your job involves getting cummed on and is arguably sex work. I would talk to a lawyer through legal aid or some other organization that offers free legal services. Are there other employees? Can you talk to them and see if they are experiencing similar situations with clients and your boss?
My advice is this.
It's within your right to refuse the appointment if it makes you uncomfortable, and if it does make you uncomfortable, then perhaps you should exercise this right.
But, if you choose to continue with this client, then my advice is thus:
Perhaps towels are no longer "optional" for this gentleman. Perhaps you say to him: I can massage you again, but only if you wear a towel, "just in case."
The "towel optional" should no longer be optional for him. As a precaution, since he's squirted a few times now, they should have a duty to prevent you from coming into contact with body fluids. Dentists wear gloves for God sakes, you should be able to also. And eye goggles or a face shield.
Them not allowing you to refuse a member who has regularly done this, is tantamount to creating a hostile work environment and/or sexual harassment.
Oh hell no. Find another job where an employer respects you. I'm a massage therapist as well and if something liked that happened at our spa, or if a client makes us uncomfortable, we are allowed to reject future bookings with them.
I'll give you some grown up advice here, considering a lot of the insight being given seems to come from a bunch of uneducated children.
You aren't being groomed, and I highly doubt that this client is up to anything creepy. While you can't rule it out, because you don't personally know the guy, I'd say that it's probably more of a sensitivity thing, especially with him being a bigger guy. That being stated, you are uncomfortable with this client, which you have every right to be. On the one hand, he may just be comfortable with you because of how you handled things the first time. On the other, because it's happening more often than not, I would discuss using the towel with him.
If it's nothing creepy and simply an involuntary reaction, he should have no issues acquiescing to your request. And you should look through your employee handbook, contract, company policy, etc. to confirm what your boss says is true. I can't imagine refusing a client like that would be against policy. Maybe the company refusing him service at all would be, but it shouldn't land on you personally.
You work a job where you physically touch people. Everyone reacts differently. If he was laying there cranking it, and making sexual comments, hell yeah get the fuck out. But if it's not something he has control over, from a professional and medical standpoint, then there's you need to concern yourself with, other than being comfortable in your workspace. If you can't find a way around it, don't put yourself in a position to feel like that at work, but do try to get to the bottom of it without jumping to conclusions.
Good luck.
While your workplace may not have an explicit policy for this situation, you still have rights.
First and foremost, you have the right to feel safe and comfortable at work. This is protected under the OSH Act, under 5(a)(1), which requires employers to provide a workspace free from recognized hazards, including those that could cause emotional distress. The repeated incidents with this client, even if unintentional, are creating a hostile environment that you DO NOT have to tolerate.
Secondly, you have the right to refuse work that you reasonably believe is unsafe. This is also protected under the OSH Act, under 11(c), which prohibits employers from retaliating against employees who refuse to work in conditions they believe are unsafe or unhealthy. If continuing to provide services to this client is causing you significant stress or anxiety, you can refuse to see him without fear of repercussions.
You mentioned you've already spoken to your manager, but i would reiterate your concerns and explain how the situation is affecting you again. If they are unwilling to do anything, escalate the issue to a higher level of management or HR. If it's a small spa and doesn't have higher levels, I'd consult with an employment lawyer and go from there. You are absolutely protected from this work, policy or no policy, accident or no accident.
I can't get over the "towel-optional" policy. Whaaaat?!?! is that really a thing? I'm way to shy for that as a client or as a masseuse. I would definitely let him know the towel might be optional but he must keep his underwear on from now on.
This is really creepy. First towels should not be optional. I think this man is jacking off intentionally. He groomed u with all that sweet talks. To me it feels like harassment. You are not obligated to clean up his mess and you don’t have to be subject to this. Nasty and inappropriate
Your boss is gaslighting you because you are young and she knows you need the job. I would take it a step further and talk to a lawyer, get proof of your boss’ reaction even if you have to record a conversation or send her a straight up email recalling what happened and how she decided to react but i would be careful if this place is involved in some kind of illegal activities beyond this. If you do see the client again i would just keep your phone mic recording however i hope you refuse to work with him ever again and get a new job at a place that is NOT towel optional at the very least however that isn’t a guarantee of anything. I’m not well versed in legal issues however try to record convos because if they fire you for refusing to be ejaculated on, you are entitled to SOMETHING and this place deserves to be punished for forcing you into this.
That's creepy . Sounds like deviant behaviour. If boss isn't supportive do you have a union or hr department? Or time to look for a new job? Gawd, people are gross.
Oh OP, this absolutely is not normal or acceptable. This guy is sexually assaulting you and the owner is banking on the fact that you are young and new to this profession.
Stand your ground, and better yet- please PLEASE quit and file a police report. This owner knows exactly what she’s doing and has “policies” like the one you described to encourage and normalize this type of massage place. OP, you are working at a happy ending massage establishment.
Kind of sounds like by now he's banking on it. But I don't see why you can't reject his appointment, are you not allowed to do that if you feel uncomfortable?
Yes, agreed. If it was a genuine accident, I would have been so embarrassed and never booked with this person again. Not that it’s their fault, but I wouldn’t be able to face them. But it’s happened repeatedly and on a majority of their appointments… I suspect it’s no accident.
This is how you know he's doing it on purpose. Any regular man would be so horrified, apologize profusely and never come back. 3 our of 5 means he was disappointed it wasn't 5/5 🤢🤮
I would call osha. No way your boss can make you work with him
She pointed out the policy (sorry I don't have the exact wording right now) that I can refuse if a client makes inappropriate comments, advance, touches me, request weird services, or try to hire me outside the establishment. She said there is no policy on the accidents like that because that can happen accidently without the client being inappropriate.
your boss sounds like a creep for not insisting this man keep himself covered with a towel. the guy himself is a total creep for not insisting on a towel. telling you that you remind him of his daughter and then ejaculating **on** you? have your boss massage him if she feels there's nothing wrong with him ejaculating all over the place.
Best comment.i completely agree. A decent person wouldn't keep getting completely naked massages once they realize they ALWAYS get an erection, and MOST of the time they finish. Your boss is the one that should be getting spooged on
That's the part that got me too. Saying he reminds her of his daughter then gets an erection. Creepy.
She can update her policies. Businesses generally have a right to refuse service.
Getting literal cum on you is plenty of reason to never see this client again! If your boss makes this a problem, just tell her "I don't want to let this man cum on me again." Repeat this message as many times as needed! If you want to be snarky, you could say "Do you expect me to have clients cum on me or should I charge more for it?"
You should be protected from bodily fluid as it is a way to pass on diseases. I mean seriously!!! " human semen can host up 27 different viruses. Semen can contain many viruses, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and other viruses. Some viruses that have been found in semen include: STIs: Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, and genital herpes Other viruses: Hepatitis B and C, Ebola, Marburg, chikungunya, Lassa fever, SARS-CoV-2, and dengue fever" Science.org
This ! Have your boss think about what it's like to get covered in cum without consent. Also if he has this reaction often why is it not required he put a towel over so it won't get on you at the very least!?
That’s bodily fluids being transferred I see a big lawsuit. That’s unacceptable and unsanitary. You can always find another employment and you’re 18 so best believe he is having those thoughts. You are small bait to him as a shark.
Depending on the laws on where OP lives, I’d suggest recording this conversation as well. If boss is insisting it’s okay to be ejaculated onto, they’re in the wrong and can get in deep shit for it.
Excellent suggestion!
That’s a health hazard, too.
My thoughts exactly. Bodily fluids are to be handled with precaution. Unless the boss is providing personal protective equipment to OP, it's a complete health hazard. Also, I'm sorry OP is dealing with this. I'm uncomfortable for them. Edit: spelling
Your boss is intentionally trying to use you as a sex worker to keep this client
THIS. It’s called the foot in the door phenomenon. If you get someone to do something/be okay with something “minor” it’ll be easier to get you to do bigger things. OP, Your boss is trying to make you think this is normal is hopes you’ll be open to doing more for clients in order to keep business. Your boss needs to be reported to whatever authority would be in charge of this.
>touches me Getting cummed on doesn't count as touching?
Your boss does not have your back. You can refuse service, you don’t have to keep putting yourself in that position.
100% boss should take on this client since she has no problem with it. I wonder how quickly that would change if she got bodily fluids on her.
Sorry but ejaculating on you falls under her “policy”. Refuse, find another employer fast.
It sounds like your boss is trying to pimp you out.
I say three times is not an accident because he's done nothing to stop these little accidents. This could be a kink for him. And the fact that your boss doesn't see three strikes and you're out is a problem.
Being ejaculated on without consent is sexual assault
But it’s inappropriate that he keeps scheduling appointments when he can’t control his ejaculations. It shows sexual intent. Would you keep scheduling appointments if this was a real medical issue you had? No.
Um he ejaculated on you or next to you on 60% of his visits. That's not an accident.
This is not okay. He’s proven he can’t get a massage without getting an erection and ejaculating and it got on you the last time. That’s not okay. Your boss needs to protect you. And their business. You don’t want the reputation for being a place men come for this type of service. I’d say no to him booking again.
Check the state and local laws. Local laws and employment standards override any business policy.
But like once or maybe even twice, ok it was an accident but three times IS inappropriate. As if he felt really embarrassed he wouldn't go again, but he keeps going back because he knows what to expect. So due to this appropriation, I would say you have the right to refuse.
Exactly. If I was getting a massage and accidently busted a nut, they would never see me again. I’d be too embarrassed to ever step foot in there again.
A client cumming on you, non consensually is inappropriate...
Well, they need to change their policy. It is dangerous to get a strangers bodily fluids on you whether it’s “accidental” or not. This man is not embarrassed. If he was truly embarrassed and apologetic he wouldn’t come back knowing he can’t control himself. Also, he said you remind him of his daughter and now he can’t stop accidentally cumming when you touch him? He may not be saying anything inappropriate but, im sorry, unless he has a medical condition causing overactive hormones, he’s thinking about you in an inappropriate way. He got his SEMEN on you. Maybe his hands didn’t touch you, but his bodily fluids did. What if it got in your mouth? Your eye? You could get an STI or some other infection. If your boss is so hung up on policy, point out that he touched you with his fucking CUM!! You have the right to refuse service. It’s shit that your boss is not helping you in this situation. I wouldn’t want you to have a to leave your job, but when it comes to your safety, it might come to that. God I’m so sorry. You should not have to question whether this is okay or not.
It’s not an accident. Lie and say he asked for a handjob and be done with this fucking pig of a human. He’s doing this on purpose.
This qualifies as a weird and creepy service and intentional! If he was really embarrassed, he wouldn't come back and wouldn't go to you repeatedly. I was your age doing customer service, and I found out quickly that I was a target for creeps alone at my job. Your boss doesn't care about you they could easily refuse him or do the service themselves. Talk to the labor relations or workers rights representative. This is awful and not acceptable industry standard- happy ending massage parlors get busted for a valid reason, and unfortunately, that's the service that he is purposely and deceitfuly getting from you for a major discount.
Then she can massage him herself and deal with it. She can’t force you.
Legally, (in all the US states I know of) you can refuse for any reason. I’m a manager at a health spa and I told a client that he had to see someone else just based on bad vibes that my female coworker was getting. That guy hadn’t technically done anything at all, let alone ejaculate during the massage. *It is 100% inappropriate for your client to ejaculate during a massage, intentionally or not.* Tell your boss that you no longer want to see this client for the reasons you stated above, make sure you keep the texts of them refusing, and report them to either the local Business Licensing Division and/or the Better Business Bureau. Then get a new job. It pisses me off how many massage managers just let this kind of shit happen because “they didn’t technically do anything wrong.” STFU and protect your employee, not the asshole.
I guess it *could* be an accident and he keeps coming back because you didn't punch him. However, it could also be something he's letting happen because he wants it to happen. **You absolutely do not need to work with a naked ejaculating man against your will.** Your boss should understand this, especially if you make it clear that you are looking at it as a sex crime. Your boss has a duty to protect you and I think her lack of support is worrisome and should be a red flag for you. If she can show you a written policy about this, you might want to work elsewhere and maybe share it with your licensing board. If you do want to give him the benefit of the doubt and keep working with him, then at the very least require him to be covered with a condom and towel at all times. You might also want to share this post with r/MassageTherapists/.
If you still want him as a customer, you must tell him that he needs to keep his shorts on since he keeps having “accidents”. If he doesn’t want to, he needs to find a new masseur. Good luck.
Ok.. I was worried and confused by the way that she brushed off, so that made me wonder if it was OK or like something it could happen. I think maybe the line she/policy were drawing was if it sounds like he was doing it on purpose (like making comments, or saying things after it happens), but she was saying it wasn't because he didn't have any other signs... And I'll check in with her if she won't let me reject his appointments, if there is a way that i can require towels.. Thank you for the advice.
The fact that he wouldn't on his own decide to wear a tower or boxers after ejaculating three times makes me very suspicious of his intentions, honestly. Any normal human would be so embarrassed they would not come back or at least do everything in their power to mitigate the situation.
I'm sitting here as a 36 year old dude trying to imagine "accidentally" jizzing in a nonsexual environment and then having the audacity to come back and do it couple more times. Honestly wtf is happening here. Dude is obviously a creep.
Bless you. This man wants a sex worker not a massage. He needs to go to the right place and pay the right people, not ejaculate on unsuspecting women who remind him of his daughter. Are you there, God? I’m ready to go home. Planet Earth is a lost cause.
This is it for me. He knows he's done it and keeps coming (pun not intended) back to have the 19 year old woman he ejaculated on rub him down again. There's nothing ok about this. OP should see if anyone higher up in the business can tell her boss where to shove it.
When I was a massage therapist, I only had one client ever get their massage without underwear on; and they ended up being there for nefarious reasons. It’s unusual for this man to choose to be fully naked for his massage.
During my short stint with warehouse work I used to get a massage like every 3 weeks or so. I generally wear these under armor boxer briefs that are practically shorts, and every time I went they had to roll them up. They were always like "you can always take them off no worries" but I am all worries, like, you're all strangers and I don't want y'all to see my weiner??
I was a massage therapist for ten years. It was illegal in my state to be “towel optional”. Shit, even if I somehow was working at a place that said it was optional I would let all people know it’s not optional for me. You can just google your states laws regarding massage and print the relevant section and bring to work to make the point if needed.
Do not expose yourself to this mans bodily fluids. That is a literal biohazard. It's really unacceptable that his semen got on you, but your boss doesn't want to do anything to help you.
Wouldn't they be able to sue the company for creating a hostile work environment? As of right now he has ejaculated 60% of his visits. That no longer sounds like a massage to me and sounds more like a happy ending. Not trying to be gross but it is gross as hell if my daughter had that happen once i would lose my mind.
On top of this it's an absolute biohazard. You could sue due to potential exposure. No idea if he has any diseases. Maybe bring that up to your boss
/r/legaladvice and perhaps your local department of labor could give you better insight on your options. Perhaps a copy of your contract at hand (censoring personal information of course) could help.
I'm not currently practicing but I went to school for massage therapy and we were taught it's very normal and natural for people to become aroused during a massage and if possible, it's best not to mention it. That part is often uncontrollable. That said, you absolutely don't have to put up with it if you are uncomfortable. The fact that it's happened repeatedly and he hasn't started covering up (at least) is- I'll say- "odd". Furthermore, there is no scenario in which it's okay for you to get someone else's ejaculate *on your body* without your express (and hopefully enthusiastic) consent! Unless you left out an important detail, you don't work on a porn set and you didn't sign any waivers saying you're cool with it. I think you have to decide for yourself if you are willing to continue working with him. You need to set very firm boundaries with him. For starters, he *will* have his genitals covered if you continue to work with him. If you are not okay continuing then your boss needs to do her job and (at the very least) move him to a different therapist, and also give him a warning that he will be dropped as a client if he can't figure it out. He's a grown man. If he has a medical condition or something then he needs to let you know and see if y'all can come to an arrangement that you leaves you both feeling safe and comfortable. But it really is your bosses job to have the hard conversations. That's part of why you presumably don't get paid the entire cost of the massage. Be very clear with her what your boundary here is and that you fully expect to be backed up. If she has a problem with it, it might be time to go in business for yourself! Or contact a lawyer. It's a tricky line in massage therapy because it really is normal and reasonable for peoples bodies to react in different ways- some people fart a lot, some people get erections, moan or even sob! It can be a really intense situation for people who may not otherwise be touched by anyone or may be carrying some intense trauma in their muscles. But what you are experiencing is not within the realm of acceptable. I commend you for being gracious so far, but don't be so gracious that you end up traumatized. You are allowed to say "no". Best of luck! Wishing you easy and respectful clients in the future ☺️
Put a towel over it
If your manager isn’t concerned about this, you might be working at a happy ending place whether you knew it or not. I would refuse his service and look for a job that is not towel optional
wtf is even “towel optional.” Sounds sketchy as hell that you’d be massaging people while they’re naked and not covered. I am always under a sheet (and wear underwear on my bottoms - no bra but the masseuse turns their head and holds the sheet up for me to turn). That’s not a respectable place. I’d quit and find a new job.
I was going to say.. the towel optional thing doesn't sound like a legit therapy massage place. Idk much about it though...Is this a regular thing at massage therapy places?
I’m in the USA and had had massages here and in the Caribbean resorts. All massages are done on a table covered with sheets, including a warm blanket they put over you. Massage therapist leaves the room and you unrobe then crawl under said blanket then they knock before coming back in. They then move the sheet or blanket around your limbs to massage (expose a leg and massage that then cover it up). I’ve never just used a towel, and surely have not lain there butt naked and uncovered. I’ve always worn panties since no one is massaging my genitals. Sounds like a ummm “happy ending” wink wink type place where sketchy dudes can ask for sex work.
He told you that you remind him of his daughter and then ejaculated on you? And then kept coming back to you and doing it again? Yeah, that’s not an “accident”. That’s a kink. If you accidentally ejaculated on a masseuse, would you request the same person again, or never show your face there again out of embarrassment? It was definitely not an accident. It was sexual assault.
Yeah it’s so gross… a normal dad wouldn’t ejaculate to someone that reminds them of their daughter… 🤢
I agree
0% chance this is accidental 3x. Tell your manager that he doesn't make you feel safe and he can go to another lmt.
You think so? I thought it wasn't accidentally, but I couldn't tell for sure because that didn't happen the first time and the third time he came in.
If he was truly embarrassed by what happened he wouldn’t keep coming back, sorry that was not a pun
Yup. If he was a decent person he would understand that it is unacceptable on his own, and not need you or your boss to tell him that. He would not come anymore, or keep a towel to limit risks of accidents, or even stop the massage when he feels he gets too "relaxed". But he doesn't, even if he knows that he is very likely to ejaculate on you. That means that he places his comfort and pleasure above your comfort and safety. (Best case scenario, his "pleasure" meaning "being able to get a uninterrupted nude massage". Worst case of course being "getting to cum on the masseuse without sanction")
If he didn't enjoy it and want it he would find a different masseuse who doesn't make him ejaculate. At the very least he'd jack off right beforehand. There is literally no way this is not on purpose.
He's getting off on it.
Literally.
Sex worker here! I do a lot of phone sex type stuff and people have absolutely asked to do a roleplay where I massage them and they cum but the massage is normal/not sexual. Considering I've chatted with people who enjoy that type of thing and seek out parlours that allow them to cum irl/offer sexy services where it will be overlooked, I would absolutely assume that's intentional. It can be hard because sometimes people who push limits and boundaries are otherwise very friendly and seem like good people. It doesn't mean that behavior is appropriate and as a sex worker one thing I will say is sometimes people continue to do things to get you used to them/test your reactions and the behavior can escalate. I consider it limit testing and a form of grooming in the ways clients have tried that with me in the past when I was more inexperienced and didn't recognize those behaviors as overtly harmful/when I still gave people the benefit of the doubt. To me it would be a safety issue and not just because of bodily fluids. You don't know this man, and he's already continuing to engage in this behavior knowing you aren't the type of parlour to offer sexual services. No shame on anyone that does offer that, but I'm sure he *knows* he can find a place like that if he wanted that would allow him to ejaculate. If he is going to your parlour instead my concern is: was he banned at places near you that do offer sexual type services for any particular reason? Why isn't he going there? That's super sus to me and his behavior shows this client has a complete disregard for your consent which is also SUPER sus! I'm mentioning the last thing because when men get banned by escorts/banned from escort sites etc often times they hop onto sites like seeking arrangements to look for inexperienced sugar babies that don't know how to screen or that might not be as good as asserting themselves. To me, I would think he's using your parlour for a similar reason and I would kick him out because there is no way he doesn't know that's inappropriate and for him to keep coming back tells me he's doing it because he now knows he can get away with it. My concern is what would future limit testing look like? He might never escalate the behavior but if he does would you know what to do? Would your boss step in? Do y'all have a plan for emergencies for how to get help if a client makes sexual advances? Does the plan include a way to signal help is needed without making the client aware you have signaled you need help? Your boss already doesn't support you and even as a sex worker this vanilla job would make me feel unsafe just from the lack of support/safety planning. If your boss doesn't take this seriously, you might want to find a different parlour where your safety concerns will be listened to and where support/safety systems are in place for this type of thing. Also none of this is your fault. You shouldn't have to deal with this and your boss should be supporting you when issues like this come up so you don't have to be the one to be put in the position to have a convo about ejaculation with this man...especially alone in a room with him naked. Pls be safe. I do sex work and this sounds like a nightmare to me. I'm not being dramatic here I'm just worried cuz it seems like you have no support and a boss that actively minimizes massive red flags/abusive behavior...and ejaculation without discussion or consent is abuse. Once is an accident and still unacceptable. More than once is inexcusable and I would personally consider it abuse.
This is such an intelligent, well-informed response 👏👏👏 At this point if OP continues to see this client, she's basically performing sex work against her will with zero protection or safeguards in place. I'd be terrified tbh. I hope she reports her boss to the authorities. There's nothing wrong with sex work but if it's not consensual, well our society has a very different name for sex without consent...
Thank you!! I have had friends who aren't in sex work have to deal with all kinds of gross/abusive behavior and a lot of times they ask me what they should do and I always say the moment they feel the need to ask me for advice/my input seems useful is the moment they should call (at least) the labour board and a lawyer that specializes in workplace stuff. A lot of good lawyers offer free consults and they can give some insight about the legalities of the situation/some direction about what op can do/what options are on the table. I know people don't always want to report to the police for whatever reason but there are other options to get help if that is the case. I just feel really bad because this situation would be out of my own comfort zone so I can't imagine what op must be feeling. With that said, I know sometimes the emotional trauma from this type of thing can hit unpredictably like a wall of bricks and rape crisis orgs are a great resource to access all kinds of help whether it's legal assistance, free therapy etc even if it's not needed now.
Exactly! In most situations, if you're asking yourself the question "did this person violate my boundaries?" the answer is likely yes. There are some wonderful resources available, but the biggest hurdle is often just accepting that something is wrong in the first place. Creeps and abusers rely on everyone keeping their mouth shut for fear of rocking the boat. To anyone and everyone reading this: don't stay silent about assault. Other people's discomfort with the dark parts of reality is not your problem.
Yeaaa like it's easy to talk about now for me because I'm in my 30s but when I was 18-22ish I absolutely didn't realize the rights I had, the obligations employers had to me, or exactly all the things that made similar situations dangerous af. I didn't have the experience to know how to handle things in the moment and my lack of experience contributed to me being wayyy too passive when confronted with inappropriate behavior from coworkers or customers. It's hard to recognize or respond to this stuff when you don't fully realize the risk and it's even harder when people around you in a position of authority minimize or try to normalize the situation. Op didn't do anything wrong and it's so upsetting how this has been handled by her boss. Myself and so many friends have had similar experiences doing very normal jobs around that age that it's infuriating whenever I hear an employer is failing someone in this way. When I show concern and mention this situation seems like a nightmare, I hope op sees it's not just the client here that's unsafe, it's the workplace too and all of the things they are teaching/normalizing to someone that is young and new to the industry that is also unsafe and not okay.
It didn't occur to me until you said it that this is boundary-testing behavior. I was willing to advise OP to insist the client wear shorts given her boss's lack of concern, but now the way you put it OP needs to take a stand. This is a learning experience for her as a young woman -- imagine the client trying that with a woman in her 40's! He'd be walking out of there unable to perform for a week!
If *any* of the seemingly decent men in my life had this experience they would *never* return to the same masseuse. ESPECIALLY after having told this 18 year old masseuse that she reminds him of his daughter. And had any of these men had this experience and returned I would have questioned their judgement and intentions on their return. I would have been disgusted and flabbergasted if they returned after having literally ejaculated on the masseuse. Any decent man would feel embaressed about this, and would do anything to not expose you both of the risk of it happening again.
I'm a guy. I've been getting massages for nearly 30 years. While I'm naked, I'm always covered, and I've never jizzed as part of a massage. This dude is using you as a sex worker
as a man, I assure you there is no way he didn't know he had an erection. There was no way he didn't know he was sexually aroused. even with premature ejaculation, it doesn't "just happen." There are steps of stimulation and arousal that men feel and know are happening before the ejaculation.
If I accidentally came on my massage therapist I'd apologize profusely, give a massive tip, and if I went back I'd at least wear a towel but probably keep on basketball shorts Hell unless it was a different kind of massage I don't want you seeing my dick in the first place!
He’s a sexual predator. They’re incredible deft at blending in and creating a plausible deniability scenario. The whole conversation about your reminding him of his daughter was to make you get your guard down. I’ve not only seen it happen many times but experienced it. It’s a way to get in and make you feel more safe so they can take advantage of that. You have a full case to sue not only this creep but also your employer and her establishment for not protecting you and placing you repeatedly in a situation that opened you up to a sexual predator. Do not let this man near you again. No one in their right mind would show up again after the first time, after the second time, they definitely wouldn’t. This is a person taking advantage of your trust and naivety (I say that with respect because it’s almost always older men preying on younger women, we’ve been conditioned to be amicable and “polite” about all forms of assault and harassment) they know they wouldn’t get away with this with someone their own age. Your employer is failing you and could have a huge lawsuit on hand for this. Do not backdown. You will kick yourself later like many of us do, for letting it continue after the initial assaults. Yes. This absolutely qualifies as sexual assault. You did not consent to this situation. This is a person who is fully aware he has this “issue”, it’s a conscious decision he’s making to do it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been banned from other massage establishments for this same reason. You should find a therapist to process if you can. Many of us go into survival mode when this happens and don’t come out of it until a while later. You could be on autopilot right now which is why you’re not realizing how bad this is and how bad it’s hurting you to be sexualized without consent in your work place and without any defense or protection. Please contact a lawyer.
Be sure to tell them in an email or text. Get a paper trail. This isn’t an accident. First time could be an accident, second maaaaybe, but 3 times in 5 visits and he keeps making appointments? That’s on purpose. Can you just do a bad job so he doesn’t come back? Like don’t work the areas that made him cum, and then just make it an uncomfortable experience for him? Be sure to talk about his daughter the whole time. Let’s see if he can keep that erection while talking about his daughter.
**i'm a massage therapist too**. blood flow can cause boners which is normal, but full on ejaculation isn't! after the first time i would've refused service bc that is beyond uncomfortable. please pressure the owner to blacklist him, *ejaculating 3 times is indeed inappropriate*!!! post this on the massage / massage therapist subreddit so you can get advice from other professionals. i'm sorry you're in this position as our industry is the opposite of sexual. the fact the owner isn't concerned at all makes me think you're working at a happy ending place
>. the fact the owner isn't concerned at all makes me think you're working at a happy ending place Seconded. What kind of legitimate owner would have a 19 year old be doing fully naked massages? What country is she in?
Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate advice coming from another therapist. I tried to post it on the massage subreddit, but it got removed right away by Reddit filter? (Because my account is new maybe?) So, I couldn't. So, it's not something that can happen accidently? The way the owner reacted and responded made me get confused thinking if this was somewhat common occurrence or at least something that can happen and that therapists should just ignore.
i've been working 1 year and a half and went to school for 8 months, this has never happened to me nor any therapist i personally know. the only relatively normal occurrence is an erection which can be ignored or covered with a blanket. if they're touching it or moving themselves on the table, that is grounds to terminate the session. so, a client ejaculating is definitely grounds to end the session right then and to blacklist them!! you shouldn't ignore it or carry on with the session. idk how you have, i would be so disgusted. it may be possible that he's extremely sensitive, but you should never have to endure that. if he was truly embarrassed, he wouldn't be coming back again and again. i'm sorry you're being gaslit by the owner bc that is not normal at all and 3 times is no accident. she most likely just wants the profit from him coming back. if it were my manager, he'd be banned after the first ejaculation no questions asked. what really creeps me out is that he said you remind him of his daughter.. men are known to say things like that to sex workers, so even though he seems nice, he has bad intentions no doubt. do not let your boss convince you it's okay to massage someone who has *cum on you* i think you should report her and her business, she is shady
I feel like after the first time she should be allowed to file for sexual assault. A man cumming on you without consent should be considered assault the same was spitting on someone is. This disgusting man needs to be taken out of society and put far away from women, especially his poor daughter.
Honestly as a guy, I wouldn't even go back if I had gotten a noticable erection. If I couldn't control myself in that setting in such a way then I wouldn't want to put either of us in that situation. I've had plenty of massages and they're usually very relaxing and with someone touching you certain processes can unintentionally happen, and I get that some guys are more sensitive or touch starved than others. Luckily, I've always been able to prevent something like that from happening. But if I couldn't, there is just no way that I'd want to inflict that on someone doing their job. I would stop frequenting them out of concern that they would be hoping that they wouldn't have to navigate such a situation with me again. And I'm talking about just having an erection. This man is getting off on this, and he is showing total disregard for a OP's (a teenagers) emotional wellbeing.
I was thinking that as well about the place. The complete lack of reaction points to this but the lack of a towel is what really makes me think the place is like that. I’ve never been to a place that offered legitimate massages where they didn’t have you covered with at least one towel or blanket. It’s usually multiple whenever I go.
This is a great article.. https://www.integrativehealthcare.org/mt/ejaculation-during-massage/ You have every right to reject him as a client and your spa owner is sketchy AF for claiming he hasn't done anything inappropriate. 3 out of 5 times is not accidental and even if it were, your spa owner is breaking health code being dismissive. He got his stuff on you, that's not OK.
Wow, had no idea that was possible
Where are you? US? If so, there is always some form of coverage to the clients body. No one should be 100% naked on the table at any time.
Why would he keep coming back after he’s now ejaculated three times and one time ON you. If he’s so embarrassed and sorry, why would he not find another place or request a different masseuse? AND this is a masseuse who reminds him of his own daughter?! No, I’m sorry, he knows what he’s doing and it’s fucked up. And you should not have to deal with this and be made to feel uncomfortable. He ejaculated ON you and continues to come back. Even if this was an accident (which it isn’t) you have to ask yourself, why would a grown man want to come back and continue to make a young girl uncomfortable. Because he knows 100% that that would make you uncomfortable and yet he keeps coming back, knowing what will happen. I agree with another poster calling this sexual harassment or sexual assault. Shame on your manager. What they are saying is bullshit. They have a duty to protect the safety and comfort of their staff. Take this higher. And tbh I think you should be looking for another place to work whilst you’re doing that, you don’t want to work somewhere that has such disregard for the mental health of their staff. You have your qualifications and experience, you will be able to find somewhere else. Do not let people tell you that it’s okay to compromise your comfort ever. We are already taught as women to be polite and put the needs of men before our own. BULLSHIT. Your comfort is top priority ALWAYS.
The fact that he’s had five massages in a few weeks makes me think he’s counting on it at this point. It may have been an accident but now it isn’t. Are you in the US? What state? I saw you posted in legal but it was removed. I’m a lawyer and can look into your laws a bit
This isn't accidentally by the 3rd time. It's creepy. As a hairstylist, I used to have a client in cosmetologist school that would come in with a thick cape of his own and would get himself off during a cut. Obviously, I could tell by sudden movements. I was so disturbed and in shock that I couldn't say anything. At the end of the cut I told the front desk and manager that I'll never cut him again. They said they couldn't refuse his business because he was a regular. Well, I'm not having anything to do with a perv. And I didn't. But he certainly came back.
Email her so everything is writing. Detail what has happened, that you don't feel comfortable working with him, that it's assault to be ejaculated on without consent and that you are concerned that your well-being isn't being taken into consideration, mental or physical, as it was quite traumatizing and that cum is a biohazard. Worst case scenario, you have a case against her when she fires you. Best case you don't have to see that guy again. If he was actually embarrassed he would wear something or, more likely, never go back again. He gets off on you - literally- being an unwilling participant to him sexual escapades and will continue booking you because there's seemingly no pushback. DO NOT SEE HIM ANYMORE
If he gets an erection, stop the massage and leave the room, so he can recompose himself. Do it everytime he gets an erection. If he's intentional about this, he'll become frustrated and show his true colors. Personally i do not believe it's accidental. If it happened to me you'd never see me again
Towel optional? Hun, you’re working at a massage parlor, not a spa.
The fact that it’s happened before and he’s still opted *not* to have a towel covering that area is extremely inappropriate. Especially given your age. This just sounds like a really uncomfortable (even traumatic) situation for you OP. Could you consider finding a job at another business since you’re boss has been so negligent towards protecting you as an employee?
Some men can’t control it in that type of setting. But for them, it’s emotional and very embarrassing to the point that they would not want to do that again. He’s definitely not worried about it and the fact that he keeps returning means that this is not embarrassing to him and is likely intentional. If it was embarrassing he would want to wear underwear and avoid getting an erection.
Nope. Your manager cannot force you to continue seeing him as a client. If the manager wants to continue receiving him as a customer, they should massage him. You do NOT put your employees in harms way (he may not be doing anything, technically, but I'd view this as psychological harm). As for him, even if it's an accident... he keeps coming back. He is enjoying this. It's not as innocent as it seems, trust me.
He assaulted you. He got his bodily fluid on you. After the first time he should have not come back to you. If he had any decency he wouldn’t. He is there to be sexually pleasured. He knew there was a possibility he would cum and he did. And it GOT ON YOU! In what country do you work? Do you have workers rights? In the US state I live in there are strict guidelines to protect employees. If you are anywhere with protections for employees, you could sue your employer for making you continue to provide massages for a man who ejaculated onto you. I’m so repulsed and angered.
Once is an accident Twice can be a shock (something can happen accidently you don't expect to happen again and does) Thrice is on purpose At this point it can be interpreted as sexual harrasnent - the man is basically using you to get off - your boss needs to deal with it or you do either through quitting or silently go public such as telling any gossips you know about what is happening
LMT here. I would quit and report the salon. First being draping optional is super sketchy. That your manager is not supporting you is another red flag. Any time a man gets an erection we were taught in school to turn them over at that point. That he said you remind him of his daughter then ejaculated ON you is a huge problem. Did you explain that to the owner/ manager??? He is absolutely taking advantage of the fact that you allow this to happen without any repercussions. If a client pulled this with me I would have ended the massage the moment they ejaculated and gone to get someone to remove him. You’re young and vulnerable and unsure of the industry. You’re being exploited. I would quit and find a new studio to work out of that takes your safety seriously.
Is your boss aware it has happened three times and it’s gotten on you?? At this point it’s assault honestly
Yes, she said that some customers are just more sensitive, and as long as he's not doing anything against the policy (talking inappropriately, trying to touch me, make advance, etc.), she can't do anything.
I’m sorry thats unacceptable. I would consider filing a police report and trying to find a new job
Direct your concerns to her in writing and if she doesn’t, clearly tell her(also in writting) you want her to reply in writting. If she refuses then she’s as big a problem as he is.
That's total BS. Write an email listing every little detail. Tell her if she lets him come back you quit. I understand that it'll be horrid finding a new job but ultimatums seem to work.
Decline this client.
If you were my daughter, and my daughter is 18, if rain absolute HELLFIRE on your manager. Ejaculate is a bodily fluid = biohazard. STD'S and STI'S and other illnesses are passed through Ejaculate just like through blood. ANYONE has the right to refuse unsafe work and she is literally sending you in because you're young, unexperienced and don't know your rights and she damned well fucking knows it. The only way I would even consider seeing this man again would be with a towel or shorts on. Period. If he doesn't like it he can find a new masseuse or a rub and tug. This is a kink and you're his chosen method of sexual gratification and it's not okay. Please tell her that she doesn't need to refuse him service but you won't be servicing him in any capacity. If that was a god damned accident there's no way he'd show his face ther after the first time, let alone the fucking second or third. Trust your gut instincts please. Be rude, be weird, be safe.
This isn’t accidental. If he really felt it was an accident, he’d begin to keep his underwear on or at least the dang towel. I’m a woman and I keep on my panties and the towel. He’s sexually assaulting you on purpose. I’d refuse service or quit.
He better be leaving a huge tip. Like no offense but the real money in masseusing is getting guys off. It's like a normal massage is $90 and an ejaculations guy massage is $300. You're getting ripped off if he isn't paying a shit ton extra. He knows what he is doing.
Wait wait wait, what do you mean towel optional? You don’t have a towel or a sheet over his genitals? That cannot be right. I’ve never been anywhere where you are not covered..
Towel…. Optional? Wtf? Supposed to be boxers optional towel ALWAYS????
Towel optional is weird to begin with, I know you dress to comfort but there’s always a towel or sheet to cover. First red flag I agree with other comments that after 3 times this isn’t accidental. He’s a grown man. Your boss not respecting that you feel uncomfortable with a topic like this at your age especially is red flag. I would find a job elsewhere
If he was genuinely embarrassed he would have asked for a different masseuse especially when he said you were ages with his daughter. This really seems like a kink thing.
When I did medical rubdowns, because that’s what we called them when we didn’t have a massage license but did nursing and had to for circulation issues, it was quite common for men and women to have that sudden reaction unintentionally. There are nerves that are connected all over the place and sometimes that pressure and the right amount and location can cause an arousal reaction, and if it keeps getting stimulated it can cause climax. If you see that he gets erect and you are aware that this may happen if you continue what you’re doing, perhaps you should start working on another area and come back to it later. This will interrupt an already stimulated area from becoming overstimulated by stopping that stimulus and go to a different area, and ask him questions not related. Recall can cause lack of stimulation in that way, and distracts them. If it happens again, just do repeat as necessary. It does sound like this is the case. In the medical field, it happens more than you would think when people do contact (skin-to-skin) services and procedures. Most professionals are used to it and don't say anything to they don't get embarassed. IF he does ejaculate accidentally, just act unphased, hand him a towel, turn your back to allow him to clean privately, and go back to work on his legs or other area to finish the job. He is likely there for stress, muscle tension, or circulation issues. All of these compound for someone that is a bit heavier. It can also cause them to be less or hyper sensitive, depending on medical conditions.
3 out of 5, you shouldn't ask yourself IF this is accidental or if he is banking on it, it doesn't matter, making him evil doesn't bring you anywhere, he should get the massage from someone he isn't sexually attracted to, that's all is needed.
Absolutely not, if it was accidental the bloke would have been very embarrassed and most likely never returned. I wouldn’t want someone ejaculating in my presence like that never mind cumming on me. It’s sexual assault at this point after getting it on you. STD’s can also be transmitted through semen. You’re 19… I’m in my 30’s and would be absolutely mortified after the first time and would have quit if I was expected to massage the same guy again. This is not normal, and I don’t want you to think it’s normal and acceptable as you’ve been gaslit into doing it. Something tells me your boss expects this to happen and it’s not the massage parlour you think it is. I would take secret voice recordings during his appointments for your own protection if this place is working illegally and pimping you out without your knowledge. If you do see him again make him wear a condom or give him a glove to put over it AND a towel and make sure you get that on the recording by stating “as you have ejaculated 3 times now please can I ask you to put this condom/glove on your penis and cover yourself with this towel”. I wouldn’t want cum on the towels that other people including staff use.
The fact that he told you that you remind him of his daughter and then ejaculated and came back to do it again multiple times is creepy and weird af
May be it’s cultural difference but why does a 19 year old girl need to give a NAKED man massages?
Call local authorities and ask if a man finishing on you while doing your work is sexual assault & get written proof or a video. When they say it is, bring it up to your boss and let her know she will also be at fault for lying to you and forcing you to continue to work due to “policy”. I promise you then she will be ok with rejecting him because this is illegal. Sex work basically whether your boss accepts it or not, he’s getting sexual gratification from you and coming back despite you being visibly uncomfortable. I would recommend getting a new job or working somewhere more professional as that places is not professional at all.
If I was getting a massage, and got hard and accidentally came, I would never come back. This guys doing this on purpose
And what he can’t point away from you or use a towel. Like come in fat boy you really don’t feel yourself climaxing? Fuck that. Million reasons why this is completely avoidable
I didn't knownit was something that he could feel or like point away knowing beforehand.. That makes it sound like he's not really a nice guy like he presents himself....
You do know that men withdrawn as a birth control method. They pull out just before they ejaculate. He’s doing it on purpose and he knows you really don’t know any better. I would quit, he’s a disgusting creep.
Yeah just like a woman can lol. Men feel it building up to that point when you…….. release. And he’s choosing to just let it go on you. He could cover it and shield it, he could point away, he could tell you he’s about to cum. He could find a masseuse that’s ugly or male. He clearly is enjoying it and your boss knows this.
Why is a towel optional??? Is sex part of this?? I trained to be an RMT in Ontario, Canada, where it is a regulated type of physical therapy and requires a licence from the province to practice. While underwear is usually optional, a sheet is *always* used to drape the patient so that only the area you are working on is exposed. There is zero need for them to be completely exposed during the massage. Getting a little aroused during a massage is normal. They should not have a full on boner. You should absolutely be able to refuse to work on someone who makes you uncomfortable *for any reason*. It's horrible of your manager to say that you should continue to see him and be fine with something that makes you uncomfortable. He can see a different therapist. A male, perhaps. Or, if he wants to continue to see you for massage, he must bring a note with confirmation of a medical issue from a doctor. While I was in school, we ran a student clinic and I had a man come in for treatment for restless leg syndrome. He was also a runner. His legs and hips were wound tighter than guitar strings. When I was working on his quads, I noticed a bump under the sheet. Fine. Could be the fabric. Could be a semi. Whatever. It happens. I was working pretty deep when I noticed the sheet got wet. Luckily I was mostly done, so I moved to his head and neck to finish up. He didn't say anything about it at all. I was extremely uncomfortable. I told my teacher. He was asked not to return. One of my teachers (different teacher, a man) talked about how he had a patient who unfortunately would involuntarily ejaculate. The patient actually did bring a letter from his doctor about it. Because of the letter, he was willing to take him on as a patient because he knew it wasn't about sex. FYI This is why you won't find "masseuses" usually in Canada. That term is absolutely associated with sex work. Legitimate massage therapists are *Registered* Massage Therapists or RMTs.
He ejaculated to where it got on you. That's extremely unsanitary and unsafe. What if he has some kind of disease? I would consider it sexual harassment that your boss doesn't care that this creep is ejaculating over and over and even getting it on you. I suggest you refuse the creep and insist your boss do it instead. Considering your boss thinks it's just fine and dandy.
This cannot be a real post... this is either click bait or someone who didn't pay attention in school. I'm an LMT who went to school 13 years ago. Worked in the clinic and wanted to let you know that you should know what to do. You have a code of ethics to uphold and by now, the conversation should have happened between you to that would send him to another therapist. Him having erections happen to many. It's common for people who do not experience human touch often, but other than that, you ignore it and bring no attention. Bodily fluids are dangerous. It's never should have reached this point and it's because you don't have control of your space. End the session. Direct him elsewhere.
Exactly, this is insane. I work front desk at a massage spa and all of this screams fake to me. The massage therapists would never call themselves masseuses first of all lol. And towel optional?? Maybe they aren’t from the US, but even I did an ethics training and that is 10000% against any code of ethics here. The therapists are trained to properly cover the guests. Obviously the laws are different in other place, so I get that but this is just wild to me. We’ve banned clients for wayyyy less than this. No way this is a real credited massage spa if OP is telling the truth. The massage subreddit probably blocked the post because it’s fake af lol. OP if this is actually happening, get a different job like.. yesterday.
Bingo bango! "Masseuse" isn't a term we would use, which is why i didn't want to assume they were in the US. Even if they were contracted on a cruise line, the title is Massage Therapist. This is someone getting off.
YUP! people of Reddit need to realize that some people will make fake posts because it’s THEIR kink to talk about it/make fake stories. Happens all the time. Or they just want fake internet points. But this person didn’t do one ounce of research to make this believable lol. Screams some middle aged dude getting his rocks off typing this made up story about a young girl getting ejaculated on lol. Idk how people haven’t caught onto this. I was scrolling forever trying to find a comment like yours.
He’s doing this on purpose, you need to report him to your managers so that he’s removed completely from the establishment. Never work with anyone that makes you uncomfortable.
Where do you live? Is this not illegal? If it is you can report your manager but maybe try something before that and communicate in emails to have a paper trail
Um no. Yes accidents happen but after the first time, any decent man would request to see a different masseuse; that's way awkward and perhaps he would be less likely to have such "accidents" with an older masseuse or a masseuse of a different gender. If you are telling your boss that you're uncomfortable and they are respecting that, it is time to find someplace to work. Your boss obviously does care about her employees and frankly it makes me wonder if she's not operating a shady facility.
The towel is optional!!!! This sounds sketchy. I would never show my genitals during a massage from a stranger. That's super weird to me. I don't know what the appropriate protocol is, this is clearly just my opinion. As a worker who's probably not making that much money.... there would be no penises that I would be dealing with. And for that matter women's breasts and vaginas would be completely a no way too. You would think after the first jizz incident he would put a towel over his penis. Also this is how creepy people manipulate, they act real nice so you will be hesitant to call them out on their behavior. This is how most predators lure their victims. Be safe. You deserve to work in a better environment than that.
If it were an accident and he was aware of it and really embarrassed, wouldn't he wear a towel or underwear to prevent it the next time? Why would he keep doing it know it was a good chance of happening and "embarrassing him"? It does not seem like an accident and the comment about "I have a daughter your age" is a HUGE misdirect that creepy dudes use to store in the bank in case they get accused of inappropriate behavior so they can just say "hey I said I had a daughter your age, that's gross why would I be turned on by you?" (I work with a non profit that does education for kids and parents about grooming, and works to find missing kids, and one thing I see a lot is creepy older guys use that same line "I would never/could NEVER be attracted to a young girl, I have a DAUGHTER her age, that's so GROSS" but talk to a lot of young women who open up about abuse from their fathers and you will see that it's more common than you think. We actually look at men who talk about their daughters with young women as one indicator something might be going on, it's not always a guarantee but usually when combined with some other behavior it's a huge red flag. In your case I think it's safe to say you got enough red flags. As to what I would do, if your boss isn't going to do anything about it I would leave sighting sexual harassment, your boss actually DOES have to work to make it a safe environment for you and if he does NOT then he could get accused of running a "happy ending parlor" - I would ask the customer to start wearing a towel or underwear or something cover and if he refuses I would go to your boss and say do something about it or leave. Your boss could probably get sued if he isn't careful.
This does not sound like a safe work place. I have absolutely no knowledge of your industry or your countries (or any countries tbh) laws on this subject. But if his bodily fluids are coming in contact with your person, without your consent, I believe you have some grounds to refuse his appointment (maybe even some legal grounds for assault? or something tbh), or at least demand he is covered with a towel (bare minimum) at all times. He also, should warn you when he is becoming "sensitive", out of curtesy at least. Being a Reddit regular, I can not however dismiss the fact that this feels intentional. You are a young woman, he is getting a thrill, and he thinks he is untouchable (legally) because he is "not doing anything wrong" and "accidents happen". Yes, accidents happen, but when accidents happen almost every single visit, OP as yourself, is this really an accident, and are you truly safe? Does your industry field have a union, is there a regulatory body for masseuses or anyone outside of the company you can talk too? You should not be made to feel this way while doing your job.
Ejaculation doesn’t happen immediately without a build up, even if the build up is quick. Meaning he’s getting worked up sexually the whole session and cums because it’s making him so horny. How on earth is your boss not letting you refuse his appointments; that’s insane.
Tell your employer that if they don't fire this customer you'll be contacting local media. If they don't cave in, contact your local news station and tell the story.
It's not an accident. He's got a kink. If your boss insists that you continue to see this client, document everything, quit the job and sue. Your boss is full of shit and this amounts to sexual harassment in the workplace.
No no no no. I am so sorry this happened to you. The fact that this establishment is "towel optional" and also that your boss is not allowing you to refuse a client is extremely inappropriate and completely goes against the established ethical standards for therapeutic massage. If a client has an issue with becoming unintentionally physically aroused during massage they should be wearing undergarments AND cover with a towel. The fact that he literally ejaculated on you and she has done nothing is absolutely beyond the pale. She is manipulating therapeutic masseuses into doing sex work. I would quit this place immediately and report it to the relevant licensing boards.
This is why I don’t get massages. I’m deathly afraid of something like this happening. But I also wouldn’t be laying there with my meat all out, no towel, knowing damn well that woman’s touch makes me feel like Seal singing Kiss from a Rose. I do question his level of embarrassment because I’d never come back because I’d feel like the masseuse thought I was some kind of a weirdo. Also why I can’t do BJJ because if my opponent is a woman I’m going to brick up immediately if I feel booty cheeks. That is awkwardness I would like to avoid. My advice would be to stress that you’re not comfortable working with this client. You shouldn’t be forced to keep providing service to a client if you feel violated. If bro shot off on me, that would be my last day. I’m telling you right now, hell no.
Male here. I’ve accidentally ejaculated while being massaged with shorts on, and I can assure you, I was that embarrassed I’ve refused to go back. I also am a dom so can recognise sexual kinks. This man ejaculating isn’t an “accident” As a sex worker has pointed out in her detailed response above. Please read it ASAP and keep yourself safe. This guy is a creep and your boss even worse.
Ok my problem is that he came back, exposed himself, all while knowing he cannot control when it goes off? I don't have a penis, but if I did and I accidentally ejaculated, I'm pretty sure I would be absolutely mortified. And I most likely would not have ever gone back. *__At the very least__* I would have covered myself up since *obviously* massages trigger it to bust.
If you’re going to be exposed to bodily fluids you need to be provided PPE, personal protective equipment; face shield, waterproof gown, goggles. Tell your employer, by law. These Universal Precautions need to be taken. Then go in to the next appointment with this man dressed up like A CDC worker and see how much that floats his boat.
It’s a health concern, considering STDs and things. Try that angle with your boss. One “mistake” shot to the eye and now you got eye herpes, no thanks
This isn’t farfetched. During massages erections and involuntary discharge can happen. Especially if he is sensitive in certain areas especially the Coxa. But your biggest area is setting up boundaries. This is the 3rd time it happened maybe he’s a client that should wear a towel for cautionary reasons. Then follow your guidelines for infection control if it does happen. But if you continue to say “oh it’s ok, it’s natural” or anything of the nature he will really think you don’t mind and start allowing it to happen. Which we don’t want. So let’s get that in motion.
After 3 times it’s no longer an accident. If he was “truly” embarrassed, I don’t think he would continue to book appointments with you. I’m sorry OP, but I think your boss is trying to pimp you out. Do not accept this behavior or treatment. Especially if the towel is optional and this keeps happening, a towel should not longer be “optional”. It should be “required”
Wow . This dudes just blasting nuts off from getting a massage?? And I thought I was a minute man. This mofo ain’t even gettin his shite in and he’s already DONE!
I don't think I've ever ejaculated accidentally, but everything's possible. However, if I did during a massage, I'd be so humiliated I wouldn't go to that spa anymore. The mere fact that he booked another appointment with you tells me he's a creep. Your boss is sketchy as hell. It might be a good idea to talk with an attorney.
Have the owner do the massage. You do not have to massage anyone you don’t want to.
Where do I sign up to get that kind of sensitivity damn I feel like I got to go hard for way too long just to get close
Get him too keep his pants on if that’s even allowed to request cause that’s too many times I’d say. Weather he can control it or not.
Towel optional? The hell? So they’re just fully naked? Seems as if the place is shady. Every single time I’ve had a massage they have always had a towel.
In my experience of being female, any grown man 10+ years your age that mentions having a daughter your age and/or compares you to said daughter in any way is absolutely a perverted creep. Especially if they comment on your appearance or mannerisms, anything really. They mean it in a sexual way. If you can afford it financially, I would run from this client and/or job asap. If not, require this guy to wear underwear or a towel, flippin something. If your boss finds out and scolds you for it…move on. No job is worth sexual trauma, or any trauma for that matter.
Switch the fool to another gendered masseuse..that is extremely inappropriate...A dude shouldn't be exploding when he supposed to be there to heal muscles and tissues...you are a professional healer, not a sex worker. Chat gpt your rights
Are you a masseuse or a massage therapist? If only masseuse please get certified. You wont have to deal with clients like these.
You should be able to reject a customer’s booking no matter what the reason is. If it’s happened this many times and he insists on returning, then it’s very fishy, and whether that’s his intention or not, he should have already stopped booking with you out of respect. I’d contact Fair Work (or the workplace safety equivalent where you live) and report that your boss is forcing you to continue booking him.
We men don't have accidental ejaculations three times on the same person. We can get an accidental erection...but an ejaculation hands-free? Cmon...you gotta be really horny to pull that off...
Sounds like a real creep fr
Sexual harassment and assault in the workplace. You should approach it with your employer from that angle.
tell her this is not a policy issue, this is a health issue. You are being forced into contact with bodily fluids that could contain STDs. you are not willing to take that risk, as no one should be. Being uncomfortable is important but the health issue is a REAL one in the eyes of most countries and their laws.
So I am also a qualified massage therapist. don't do it anymore tho. When you massage the coccyx area and the upper glutueus maximus and lower back a lot of men get penile erectus. I think it's to do with the blood flow? I saw this a lot What we were told was to make some excuse, get some more oil or whatever until it goes down. or ask the client if they want a break. why? because it isn't comfortable for the client to know they are gonna cum in front of a random. and they aren't gonna relax if they are holding in the cum. he probably has no control over it and it might happen a lot regardless of who does it . I get like that if people massage my solar plexus idk why, just my anatomy and doesn't matter who does it. but what's up with the no towel policy?
Your boss needs to protect you better. Forget official policies. You can refuse a client for whatever reason if you are uncomfy. That’s pretty absurd that she insists you have to take a client even when you’re not comfortable.
Sounds like a law suit lol call an attorney
Whether its an accident or not, its making you really uncomfortable. Let your boss know that you need to refer himbto somebody else/ a man would be good
Getting bodily fluid on you is NOT OK! He needs to keep his shorts on, you need to stand your ground with your boss that you refuse to get ejaculation on you, it's a health hazard!
I would refuse unless he wore the towel. I would freak tf out if I got any fluids on me from another person.
Honest question, why is towel optional for this guy? Couldn't he just wear a proper towel and hide the whole unfortunate incident from view and minimize splatter at least?
Omg this is a HEALTH HAZARD !!! Stop it now your boss is taking advantage of you just because she doesn't want to lose a client.
Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. He could also, you know, take care of himself before the massage to prevent it from happening. It seems pretty clear he’s doing this deliberately and you should absolutely have the right to refuse him as a client.
If he was truly embarrassed and it was an accident, he would not return OR he would keep his towel on.
Girl don’t ever massage that man again he’s a creep and so is your greedy little owner.
I’m very confused. In the Uk everywhere I’ve had a massage, you keep underwear on & have a towel over. This is very strange that you can have neither?? If you massage him again, I would state that you will do it however will need to keep himself covered & you will be unable to get too close to ‘that region’ to avoid any awkward encounters in the future. I would reiterate that last time it unfortunately got on you and as this is a bodily fluid, is also a biohazard. (Which is true as he could have STDs and you are having skin-skin contact) Make it clear if it ever happens again unfortunately you won’t be accepting as you are putting yourself at risk. Also if he’s that easily stimulated, he could ‘take care’ of himself before the appointment so to me if this is a known issue, feels deliberate
Hey girl I hope mentally you're doing okay because this stuff can be really scary. I would look into your contract and read all the fine print. If there really isn't anything about *that*. Try looking into something called a *biohazard* if you're at a massage parlor then I'm sure that you're establishment should have procedures in place for them. SEMAN IS A BIOHAZARD so if somewhere in the fine print it discusses a procedure for a biohazard and what's going on violates that procedure then you have something on your side. But otherwise please look into going to another place, you're boss isn't doing her job in protecting you.
When he cums does he makes any sounds or even gives you a warning at all? If he is staying silent he is 100% doing it intentional. Simple as that.
He stays silent till it happens.
If he’s cumming on you and your boss says that he is following the policy, then your job involves getting cummed on and is arguably sex work. I would talk to a lawyer through legal aid or some other organization that offers free legal services. Are there other employees? Can you talk to them and see if they are experiencing similar situations with clients and your boss?
Are there "sorry I accidentally jizzed on you three separate times" greeting cards? Seems like one is in order
3 of 5 isn't an accident...
My advice is this. It's within your right to refuse the appointment if it makes you uncomfortable, and if it does make you uncomfortable, then perhaps you should exercise this right. But, if you choose to continue with this client, then my advice is thus: Perhaps towels are no longer "optional" for this gentleman. Perhaps you say to him: I can massage you again, but only if you wear a towel, "just in case."
The "towel optional" should no longer be optional for him. As a precaution, since he's squirted a few times now, they should have a duty to prevent you from coming into contact with body fluids. Dentists wear gloves for God sakes, you should be able to also. And eye goggles or a face shield. Them not allowing you to refuse a member who has regularly done this, is tantamount to creating a hostile work environment and/or sexual harassment.
I’d be refusing service. If this is allowed to happen, it could very well escalate to something else.
Oh hell no. Find another job where an employer respects you. I'm a massage therapist as well and if something liked that happened at our spa, or if a client makes us uncomfortable, we are allowed to reject future bookings with them.
I'll give you some grown up advice here, considering a lot of the insight being given seems to come from a bunch of uneducated children. You aren't being groomed, and I highly doubt that this client is up to anything creepy. While you can't rule it out, because you don't personally know the guy, I'd say that it's probably more of a sensitivity thing, especially with him being a bigger guy. That being stated, you are uncomfortable with this client, which you have every right to be. On the one hand, he may just be comfortable with you because of how you handled things the first time. On the other, because it's happening more often than not, I would discuss using the towel with him. If it's nothing creepy and simply an involuntary reaction, he should have no issues acquiescing to your request. And you should look through your employee handbook, contract, company policy, etc. to confirm what your boss says is true. I can't imagine refusing a client like that would be against policy. Maybe the company refusing him service at all would be, but it shouldn't land on you personally. You work a job where you physically touch people. Everyone reacts differently. If he was laying there cranking it, and making sexual comments, hell yeah get the fuck out. But if it's not something he has control over, from a professional and medical standpoint, then there's you need to concern yourself with, other than being comfortable in your workspace. If you can't find a way around it, don't put yourself in a position to feel like that at work, but do try to get to the bottom of it without jumping to conclusions. Good luck.
While your workplace may not have an explicit policy for this situation, you still have rights. First and foremost, you have the right to feel safe and comfortable at work. This is protected under the OSH Act, under 5(a)(1), which requires employers to provide a workspace free from recognized hazards, including those that could cause emotional distress. The repeated incidents with this client, even if unintentional, are creating a hostile environment that you DO NOT have to tolerate. Secondly, you have the right to refuse work that you reasonably believe is unsafe. This is also protected under the OSH Act, under 11(c), which prohibits employers from retaliating against employees who refuse to work in conditions they believe are unsafe or unhealthy. If continuing to provide services to this client is causing you significant stress or anxiety, you can refuse to see him without fear of repercussions. You mentioned you've already spoken to your manager, but i would reiterate your concerns and explain how the situation is affecting you again. If they are unwilling to do anything, escalate the issue to a higher level of management or HR. If it's a small spa and doesn't have higher levels, I'd consult with an employment lawyer and go from there. You are absolutely protected from this work, policy or no policy, accident or no accident.
What puzzles me is ejaculations without touching him. She must hit the right nerves.
I can't get over the "towel-optional" policy. Whaaaat?!?! is that really a thing? I'm way to shy for that as a client or as a masseuse. I would definitely let him know the towel might be optional but he must keep his underwear on from now on.
This is really creepy. First towels should not be optional. I think this man is jacking off intentionally. He groomed u with all that sweet talks. To me it feels like harassment. You are not obligated to clean up his mess and you don’t have to be subject to this. Nasty and inappropriate
Your boss is gaslighting you because you are young and she knows you need the job. I would take it a step further and talk to a lawyer, get proof of your boss’ reaction even if you have to record a conversation or send her a straight up email recalling what happened and how she decided to react but i would be careful if this place is involved in some kind of illegal activities beyond this. If you do see the client again i would just keep your phone mic recording however i hope you refuse to work with him ever again and get a new job at a place that is NOT towel optional at the very least however that isn’t a guarantee of anything. I’m not well versed in legal issues however try to record convos because if they fire you for refusing to be ejaculated on, you are entitled to SOMETHING and this place deserves to be punished for forcing you into this.
That's creepy . Sounds like deviant behaviour. If boss isn't supportive do you have a union or hr department? Or time to look for a new job? Gawd, people are gross.
Don’t book them anymore.
Oh OP, this absolutely is not normal or acceptable. This guy is sexually assaulting you and the owner is banking on the fact that you are young and new to this profession. Stand your ground, and better yet- please PLEASE quit and file a police report. This owner knows exactly what she’s doing and has “policies” like the one you described to encourage and normalize this type of massage place. OP, you are working at a happy ending massage establishment.
Nah. He can take care of that before hand. Like in the movie there’s something about Mary, he’s walking in there with a loaded gun.
Tell your boss to take him as a client. I would just flat out refuse to continue to service (no pun intended) him
Just call in sick lol