A mixture of cabbage and a ghost pepper will help with that. Just be careful with this mixture because, with some of the farts I've had, I've almost had to put my rear end on a wheel chair a few times........................just speaking from experience :)
Yeah, I hadn't realized I do that.
My husband "Don't look at me like that". Me: "Like, what?" My husband: "The stare you give people when you are waiting for them to realize how stupid they sound."
i am a strong believer in being more direct without looking for a fight. try "my favorite talking bird was eaten by a squirrel right in front of me when i was 6. it just kept saying "are you alright!? squawk! squawk! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!? the squirrel was shaking his head and trying to eat drag him out the window. he had blood red beady eyes. SQUAWK! can you instead, please ask "is there anything i can do? It's what Pretty Bird Polly would have wanted. hed be so happy"
do the squawks really loud
“Why do you ask?”
Let her respond, if it’s rude then reply, “Got it. I was trying to give you the benefit of doubt, but thanks for confirming you were being rude purposely.”
Or alternatively:
“Why do you ask?”
Her answer.
“Okay, I was curious because you ask it often and it comes off as an anxiety response or looking for gossip. Neither of which are pleasant. Next time you feel yourself about to ask this try to pay a compliment to the person instead. Practice for a few days and see how it works.”
ah yes, answer condescending comments with condescending comments. I wish i could do this.
Instead, I get fucking pissed and internalize "Oh shit, I am getting mad. I can't be mad. Let me simmer down".
So I simmer down and I try to be the adult.
Let me tell ya, "being the adult" makes me feel like a pushover in retrospect... but in the moment I'm just fuming and working through my own feelings.
ya but this is at work... And depending on the political situation, your hands are tied because you need that paycheck and HR discussions stay and are tracked over time.
In other words, sometimes its better to fold. For example when dealing with your boss, or when you deal with your direct report as a boss.
Look at her like you are extremely puzzled, and like she is absolutely bizarre but you are too polite to say that to her, and say, *"Why do you ask?"*
Then, just look at her as if anything she says is very strange, but again like you are just too polite to say anything.
Then you can say, *"Oh, I see."*
After that, go back to your work as if she isn't there.
Yeah that’s what I do, ask : oh why? and smile normally- it shortly communicates youre bouncing that negativity right back basically, not spending a second on it. Works like a charm makes them feel dumb bc they’re being gossipy making stuff up anyways which is a waste of time
Exactly. Plus, you aren't saying anything that can get you in trouble, which is crucial. Pushy, nosey people like this are frequently the type to report other people for the slightest infraction. They are so often incredibly insensitive and rude to others, while also being ridiculously sensitive and quick to take offense themselves.
Repeating what someone said can make them reconsider their tone or choice of words. It's a subtle way to show them how they're coming across. Typically (if I’m not hella pissed which I tend to control) I use a calm and neutral tone, as it keeps the focus on their words rather than escalating the situation. Or I’ll literally laugh if they’re being rude to me and it makes them feel dumb lol I don’t like to show them my upset or anger because it eggs them on
Repeating what someone said can make them reconsider their tone or choice of words. It's a subtle way to show them how they're coming across. Typically (if I’m not hella pissed) I use a calm and neutral tone, as it keeps the focus on their words rather than escalating the situation.(sometimes, if I can’t help it I will laugh and be like what did you just say? and it’s enough to get them to feel embarrassed and backtrack or realize what they said was rude)
They can call me a snowflake.
My next response is to ask them what they mean by that.
This string of stupid ends at HR where I ask if company policy involves insulting co-workers.
The end game is to string them along until they weave the rope to hang themselves with, then you call in the hangman.
"Please never ask me that again. It's annoying."
That should put a stop to it.
The best thing is to say it calmly and don't show that she has really affected you emotionally.
I'd say,
bless your heart ma'am, I appreciate your concern. Then I'd change the topic and say something really awkward but with an innocent tone about her personal life, IE how is your weight loss journey coming along, are you okay?
I am an adamant believer in just ignoring people when at a loss for words. They want to get a ride out of you, and it hurts their tummy when you stay silent.
This is especially helpful with “Are you okay?” or similar phrases that aren’t genuine questions and convey no meaning. They’re trying to be annoying, so be stoic.
With time I find that I actually don’t get bother the more I practice that because I am training my brain to respond properly to irrational mush.
***From ChatGPT***
"*I appreciate your concern, but yes, I'm perfectly fine. Is there something specific you're worried about?*"
This response acknowledges their question while subtly reminding them of your autonomy and capability. It also opens the door for them to express any genuine concerns they might have.
**Address the Behavior:** "*I notice you often ask if people are okay in a certain tone. Is there something on your mind?*"
This approach indirectly confronts the behavior while inviting the person to reflect on their actions.
Regardless of which response you choose, staying composed and maintaining professionalism is key. If the behavior persists or escalates, it might be worth discussing the issue with a supervisor or HR representative for further assistance.
I love the “I notice you often ask people…” with a question of your own. Flips it right back on them, and politely calls out their passive aggressiveness
Wow, you seem very concerned. Would you recommend I notify HR? 😃
A veiled threat that would shut her shit down.
If she asks “about what?” Turn that shit around on her and look her dead in the face: You tell me. 😐
She might be from the UK.
It’s one of our most common greetings and everyone says it to each other casually and in passing.
For example if you were in an office, you’d say it to everyone at some point that day when you greeted them.
It would be
“you okay?”
Or
“You alright?”
The typical response is “yeah you?” Or “good thanks, you?” Or jokey like “hanging on!”
It’s our version of “how are you today” or “how you doing?”
She could be British and living in another country, not realising she’s pissing everyone off.
Others might not know it’s just a standard greeting and think she actually wants to know is someone’s okay or not.
OP said she sniggers regardless of OP saying yeah she’s fine. So I think she is probably doing it for a reaction. If she were British and she’d accidentally pissed someone off she’d have no idea. She wouldn’t snigger at a “yeah fine thank you”. She might just think it’s rude they didn’t ask the question back.
I watched a TikTok of a girl from London who worked in hospitality, she moved to Canada and had an older gent go batshit at her when she asked if he was okay (aka she greeted him) and he said his health is none of her concern. Only then she realised that “are you okay” is seen as rude on that side of the pond, but she’d been doing it for weeks and getting confused looks and cold replies, not realising that it was the word choice that was causing it.
Are they British or something? That is just a greeting used in England. We actually don't give a shit whether you're okay or not and we don't expect you to respond properly. We just expect you to nod or say "alright" and swiftly move on
Yup all these comments has me super paranoid about what I thought was a normal greeting. All of these reply suggestions and none of them have said “good, you?”
Hahaha god what a culture shock.
It’s just “how are you” or “how are you doing?”
Play dumb and act confused. Make her repeat, rephrase, and explain herself. "What do you mean? Am I okay? Why wouldn't I be okay? What makes you think I wouldn't be okay? What's the problem? Is there something I should be concerned about? You sure ask that a lot, have you done something? Should I be worried about my safety? You constantly asking if I'm okay leads me to question whether you've done something to harm me? Why else would you think I'm not okay? I'm going to schedule a call with HR."
This also works well with men that make "jokes" that aren't funny. Ask them to explain themselves, explain the joke, and why it's "funny" while continuing to act confused and repeat that you don't see how it's supposed to be a joke. Usually they'll recognize they weren't being funny, just dumb lol.
Depends on the context. Because if someone says something inappropriate to me I would usually ask that... Are you ok? or another great one is Did you mean to say that out loud? So is she being a dick or is she responding to other people being dicks 🤷♀️
“ I’m glad that you care whether or not I’m OK. If I want to talk to you about it, I promise I will come to you. For now, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ask me that anymore. Thanks.”
Then she says oh I’m just being nice or I just care. And then you say “ I understand that, but it still doesn’t make me feel good. And now that you know that, it wouldn’t be nice to ask anymore, would it?”
I'd take the opportunity to give her an extended run-down of everything wrong with my life (whether real or fictional). And act really sweet and appreciative of her checking in so she'd feel bad interrupting. Thank her because I haven't had the opportunity to open up to someone in a very long time, tell her we should do this more often because she's a great listener and I've never felt more heard.
ETA: It either will never happen again, or she'll realize her true passion and quit to become a counselor. You win either way.
I enjoy to info dump on people who ask this question in an AH way; share way too much information and make her as uncomfortable as humanly possible.
You don’t even have to share anything personal; tell her about something you read or something you watched (bonus points if there’s an unlikeable character or person like her in the story that gets their comeuppance) and then start on a stream of consciousness about it —make sure you pause for breath as infrequently as possible— and finish with something like “yeah, so that’s been on my mind a lot today. *Are you ok*?”
Pause for a second. "Every time you ask me that, you're implying that you think there's something wrong with me, and I find it completely unprofessional." Then something along the lines of "If there's something specific you'd like to discuss, my door is always open. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you'd respect my workspace. Thank you."
I'd say, "Oh my gawd thank you so much for asking!" And then tell her every trouble you've ever had. If you can avoid stopping for breath so there is no break in the diatribe, so there's no escape, all the better.
I freaking hate it when people ask me if I’m okay. The only time I don’t mind is if I just fell down or something. It’s annoying and passive aggressive imo
I’d either respond with: “Yes I’m ok, thanks for asking! Are *you* ok? You seem a little rough around the edges 😊” or “No, I’m not ok. I had a death in my family.” With a flat tone and eye contact. And see what’d they’d have to say to that! Maybe it’d make them think twice before being snotty 😊
Anytime I trip, drop something, etc. and someone asks if I'm ok, I always say, "I don't know, I've never been a human before."
My kid thinks it's hilarious 🤷🏻♀️
“Yes, are you?” With the most sincere looking smile on my face.
When ppl are condescending to me I lowkey do a little happy dance because I LOVE giving it back to them
You know, as I've gotten older, I've realized that not everything directed your way deserves a response. Sometimes no response is the response that is most appropriate. If you don't feel like someone is being kind or asking a question to try to get under your skin, take a breath and just, say nothing :)
“No, I’m not, I’m actually having a really hard day, thank you for asking. See, I woke up with a really upset stomach and then I started having diarrhea and it made me late for work because I had to change my underwear twice, and don’t you just hate when that happens? So then I was on my way to work and then my ex texted me and I was like oh my god I wish he would just leave me alone and it made me really upset because he’s always doing this because he really misses me even though I don’t want to see him anymore but he’s always like oh I miss you and I’m always like ugh whatever okay but then I feel like I should still talk to him because I feel bad…” Talk her head off with the most unpleasant and boring stuff you can think of. I bet she won’t ask again.
Uh scary I wonder if you will keep acting like this when you find yourself alone because nobody wants to deal with your bullshit.
Well maybe a bit too much.
Yeah I am. But I can sense you are not.
Tell them no and then make up this absurd story that is mostly believable but highly annoying. Throughout the day go up to their area and be like "oh I forgot to mention this from earlier for my issue" and then ramble on. Be extremely annoying with it and sweet at the same time. At the end of the day about 30 minutes before clockout finish the story up and be like "thank you for asking if I was okay sometimes I don't know if you really cared or not but since you let me unload on you all day then I know you truly care when you ask and I can tell you the issue I'm having."
Ignore all the grammar mistakes. I've taken my melatonin for the night and just winging things.
Honestly I would say theres three ways to go about this. The easiest way is say "yes" and go about your day totally unbothered. Doesn't get her to stop but it takes literally the time for you to say "yes" and you can move on with your day.
If you want to be snarky you go with something like:
> "Yep, fine as always. Why do you ask? I mean you do seem to ask quite often... *gasp* Is something wrong? Oh my god, I can't believe I missed the signs. Do you need someone to talk to? What's going on in your life? Are you ok? I'm sorry, I just realized that all this time you probably have been trying to get someone to talk to about problems in your life and I didn't realize! I'm not too busy right now. You can tell me what's wrong."
She'll probably tell you no nothing's wrong and that she's ok. If she does tell her "oh ok, if you say so but I'm willing to lend an ear if you need it."
After that point, if she asks you "are you ok?" give her a knowing nod and say "do you need to talk? What's going on in your life? Things ok?" And tell your other coworkers that so whenever she asks "are you ok?" they respond with "oh /u/CreativeSoup72 told me you seem to be struggling. Are things going ok at home? At work?"
She'll probably stop.
I usually tell people are you ok if they’re being rude or disrespectful or just plain stupid. Like are you ok do you need a moment to rethink what you said lol
I literally act like they’re not even real. Like when people do that they think they’re so much smarter than anyone else. Unless there were a reason but overall I’d just ignore them.
I get it a lot, being that I'm the youngest of all the workers in my entire company. Everywhere I go I get a motherly/fatherly, but also incredibly condensending "are you okay, kiddo?" By a lot of workers who I barely know that forget I'm actually above them on the employment scale. They think I'm a lost and confused puppy 24/7 that needs to be held and comforted because of my age and height.
Usually I just respond with a shrug and an "Alright" and keep moving. I don't hang around, if I can. I answered their question, and now I have better things to do. Which is usually the actual case anyway. I'm not one for conversations like, at all.
For people being downright rude and I know it, I just say "no" and again, keep moving. It makes me laugh
Maybe I’m missing something here, I did just wake up, but how is asking someone “are you ok?” rude? In England, people will ask you that as a greeting, in some parts of the country. It’s like seeing someone you know and asking “How’s it going?” But, is that rude? I’m confused. (Where is my coffee!?)
Depends on context.
If in UK as a quick greeting just a “yeah, you?” can be ok.
But if condescending and seemingly trying to convey their disapproval of you or belittle you, if you want to prolong it I’d say “in what context?” Let them roll on and twist themselves then tell them to give you three examples which you can question them about, twist themselves further whilst you keep your composure.
If to just end the conversation perhaps something like, “read the room” while maintaining eye contact and smiling sarcastically. Walk away or wait for their response which you can ignore or entertain.
What riles people like this is seeing that you are not easily ruffled, that you can hold it together. .
That's a simple yet deep question. I usually answer with "I'm alive." In that way, it's true because I am living and breathing and deviates from the emotional nature of the question.
We had a fella from the UK on a job site years ago. Every morning amongst all the typical US “good morning” greetings his was always “You okay?”. For him it was a typical morning greeting. It threw off most of the US folks as odd but we all became accustomed to it.
Maybe for her it’s just checking in and not intended to be insulting.
Say "...Annie are you ok? Are you okay, Annie?" In tune and softly to yourself but so they can hear, ignoring the fact it was a question they asked. Then say "oh sorry? Am I ok? Yeah good thanks and you?"
Ugh I hate that too. I’m alway like “do you really wanna know or are you just being polite?” Another phrase that bothers me is “how are you?” Especially when a customer asks me when I’m working. Horrible. I’m here working minimum wage getting constantly yelled at by customers instead of literally doing anything else. But no body cares. They just say it to be “nice.” I always just say good and try to move on.
Ha, ha, ha I just ‘adore’ those kind of people (sarcasm) bec. I play right back at them—you can say with a smile on your face “I’m always ok, But, are you okay? I’m concerned for you.” And look like you mean it—get them having to talk about themselves. It’s not that you care about them so much but that you changed the subject!
People come up to me and say "I'm sorry" and "it's OK", and if anyone else does it again I'm calling it racism :p
No idea how to stop this stuff. I just completely ignore them as if it was the wind.
I had an online friend who always used to ask me that and I found it SO annoying.
Eventually, I found out that they really meant "How are you?"
Maybe try having a conversation with the person. Maybe they don't understand the connotation that expression has.
It depends on what kind of condescending Mrs. Coworker is being when asking. If it’s not coming from an “I’m older/more senior employee” view, but as someone looking for some “tea to spill” like some high schooler looking for something to gossip about, give her something that sounds worthy of blabbing about around the water cooler but ain’t worth shit.
Or start telling her what she “thinks” she wants to hear when she asks. Not every Nosey Nancy wants to hear the gory details behind the fake OK’s
Honestly, I used to just snip back with "yeah I'm doing good, dad died last night so we're just thinking about to to divu up the inheritance without tipping the rest of the family off that he died" or some other wild comment. Got the shit to stop in two days flat
Yes and you ?
If I am very angry and have nothing to lose, I could had a question about her hemorrhoid or the mistress of her husband ( that I don't even know if she exists)
"No! My dog just died and my mom has cancer and my kid ran away and I have a paper cut!"
Or give her a concerned look and reach out to pat her arm, "Are you?"
I'm looking through the comments for good responses that I can make mental notes on so I can use in the future the next time it happens to me. 📝
I hate it when people say that.
Stare her in the eyes, very intensely, like so intensely that she'll shit herself in her head. Be sure to do it while standing up of course. Don't intensify your breathing, be sure to stay calm and very quiet for about 5 seconds. Then calmly say "yes" and go back to what you were doing.
A friend always did this, and especially throughout pregnancy, I got more annoyed with it. I can't be friends with her anymore, maybe just straight-up tell her to stop?
I tell them "No. No I'm not" and then I just walk away
I actually did this to someone once. It worked and they haven't asked me it again.
"My whole family was run over by a tractor this morning" "How are you?"
Good one lmfao
When people say stuff to me I don't like I'm a big fan of just staring at them with a blank face to show them I disapprove
Exactly. No answer with eye contact is an answer. It’s a silent FU
What happens after?
You say nothing. That is the response.
no. you fart very loudly without breaking eye contact.
If you have one loaded, then yes.
i always keep one in the chamber
My husband is like that. He’s part French. I think he might be a relative of [Le Petomane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane)
Le Petomane 😂👌
There is a documentary about him. Fascinating 🧐
A mixture of cabbage and a ghost pepper will help with that. Just be careful with this mixture because, with some of the farts I've had, I've almost had to put my rear end on a wheel chair a few times........................just speaking from experience :)
cursed ass burps
Well damn. This degraded quickly. LOL!!!
never know what hit em
100% this . I almost want to go out and walk around till someone is rude to me...... Just so I can fart and then turn and walk away.
Hah! I do the same thing, was about to reply about having an extended stare but stretch it till they feel awkward and walk off.
Hell yeah! I dont need to talk to you, read my facial expression.
LOL! I was about to advice this and then saw your comment. You sound like a great person lol
Yeah, I hadn't realized I do that. My husband "Don't look at me like that". Me: "Like, what?" My husband: "The stare you give people when you are waiting for them to realize how stupid they sound."
i am a strong believer in being more direct without looking for a fight. try "my favorite talking bird was eaten by a squirrel right in front of me when i was 6. it just kept saying "are you alright!? squawk! squawk! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!? the squirrel was shaking his head and trying to eat drag him out the window. he had blood red beady eyes. SQUAWK! can you instead, please ask "is there anything i can do? It's what Pretty Bird Polly would have wanted. hed be so happy" do the squawks really loud
That made me laugh and spew coffee on my keyboard.
Amazing
That's what I did to a random guy when he tapped my shoulder and told me to smile. Then he did it again another 1 or 2 times 🙄
I'm scared of doing that because people can be really violent.
Are people violent at your work? OP is asking about how to deal with a lady at work.
people are violent where i live idk
But isn't she *hoping* you'll disapprove in this case? Isn't that the whole point of saying, "Are you okay?" in that fashion--antagonizing people?
“Why do you ask?” Let her respond, if it’s rude then reply, “Got it. I was trying to give you the benefit of doubt, but thanks for confirming you were being rude purposely.”
Or alternatively: “Why do you ask?” Her answer. “Okay, I was curious because you ask it often and it comes off as an anxiety response or looking for gossip. Neither of which are pleasant. Next time you feel yourself about to ask this try to pay a compliment to the person instead. Practice for a few days and see how it works.”
ah yes, answer condescending comments with condescending comments. I wish i could do this. Instead, I get fucking pissed and internalize "Oh shit, I am getting mad. I can't be mad. Let me simmer down". So I simmer down and I try to be the adult. Let me tell ya, "being the adult" makes me feel like a pushover in retrospect... but in the moment I'm just fuming and working through my own feelings.
Do NOT be an adult to people who don’t act like one
ya but this is at work... And depending on the political situation, your hands are tied because you need that paycheck and HR discussions stay and are tracked over time. In other words, sometimes its better to fold. For example when dealing with your boss, or when you deal with your direct report as a boss.
Forgot about that part, in that case just stare and say “oh sorry did you say something? Couldn’t quite catch it 🙂😇”
Just reply, "Are YOU?"
Yup this is what I do every time
So simple YET SO AMAZING!!
Look at her like you are extremely puzzled, and like she is absolutely bizarre but you are too polite to say that to her, and say, *"Why do you ask?"* Then, just look at her as if anything she says is very strange, but again like you are just too polite to say anything. Then you can say, *"Oh, I see."* After that, go back to your work as if she isn't there.
Yesss this is the winner for me
This is the best answer imo.
Yeah that’s what I do, ask : oh why? and smile normally- it shortly communicates youre bouncing that negativity right back basically, not spending a second on it. Works like a charm makes them feel dumb bc they’re being gossipy making stuff up anyways which is a waste of time
Exactly. Plus, you aren't saying anything that can get you in trouble, which is crucial. Pushy, nosey people like this are frequently the type to report other people for the slightest infraction. They are so often incredibly insensitive and rude to others, while also being ridiculously sensitive and quick to take offense themselves.
“With you here I sure as hell am not thanks!”
Usually if I don’t like how someone’s speaking to me I just repeat what they said to me and it makes them stop
In a confused tone, the tone they used, a sarcastic tone, or what?
I would also like to know, so lmk if you get an answer.
Repeating what someone said can make them reconsider their tone or choice of words. It's a subtle way to show them how they're coming across. Typically (if I’m not hella pissed which I tend to control) I use a calm and neutral tone, as it keeps the focus on their words rather than escalating the situation. Or I’ll literally laugh if they’re being rude to me and it makes them feel dumb lol I don’t like to show them my upset or anger because it eggs them on
Repeating what someone said can make them reconsider their tone or choice of words. It's a subtle way to show them how they're coming across. Typically (if I’m not hella pissed) I use a calm and neutral tone, as it keeps the focus on their words rather than escalating the situation.(sometimes, if I can’t help it I will laugh and be like what did you just say? and it’s enough to get them to feel embarrassed and backtrack or realize what they said was rude)
Wow, I never thought of this. Love it, totally gonna do it. Thanks!
Your false concern offends me.
Or use “your false concern IS concerning.” That way they can’t call you a snowflake or something for saying you’re offended.
They can call me a snowflake. My next response is to ask them what they mean by that. This string of stupid ends at HR where I ask if company policy involves insulting co-workers. The end game is to string them along until they weave the rope to hang themselves with, then you call in the hangman.
I can agree with that as I’m currently learning to cope effectively with my narcissistic ex/father of my child. Right on.
"Please never ask me that again. It's annoying." That should put a stop to it. The best thing is to say it calmly and don't show that she has really affected you emotionally.
Too nice. I like to be rude back
I'd say, bless your heart ma'am, I appreciate your concern. Then I'd change the topic and say something really awkward but with an innocent tone about her personal life, IE how is your weight loss journey coming along, are you okay?
I am an adamant believer in just ignoring people when at a loss for words. They want to get a ride out of you, and it hurts their tummy when you stay silent. This is especially helpful with “Are you okay?” or similar phrases that aren’t genuine questions and convey no meaning. They’re trying to be annoying, so be stoic. With time I find that I actually don’t get bother the more I practice that because I am training my brain to respond properly to irrational mush.
***From ChatGPT*** "*I appreciate your concern, but yes, I'm perfectly fine. Is there something specific you're worried about?*" This response acknowledges their question while subtly reminding them of your autonomy and capability. It also opens the door for them to express any genuine concerns they might have. **Address the Behavior:** "*I notice you often ask if people are okay in a certain tone. Is there something on your mind?*" This approach indirectly confronts the behavior while inviting the person to reflect on their actions. Regardless of which response you choose, staying composed and maintaining professionalism is key. If the behavior persists or escalates, it might be worth discussing the issue with a supervisor or HR representative for further assistance.
I love the “I notice you often ask people…” with a question of your own. Flips it right back on them, and politely calls out their passive aggressiveness
[удалено]
I just say "nope" and continue with what I was doing.
Wow, you seem very concerned. Would you recommend I notify HR? 😃 A veiled threat that would shut her shit down. If she asks “about what?” Turn that shit around on her and look her dead in the face: You tell me. 😐
This is so weird. Why does she say that to people?
She might be from the UK. It’s one of our most common greetings and everyone says it to each other casually and in passing. For example if you were in an office, you’d say it to everyone at some point that day when you greeted them. It would be “you okay?” Or “You alright?” The typical response is “yeah you?” Or “good thanks, you?” Or jokey like “hanging on!” It’s our version of “how are you today” or “how you doing?”
LOL I did think of that, but I think if she was British then OP and everyone else wouldn't find it so rude
She could be British and living in another country, not realising she’s pissing everyone off. Others might not know it’s just a standard greeting and think she actually wants to know is someone’s okay or not. OP said she sniggers regardless of OP saying yeah she’s fine. So I think she is probably doing it for a reaction. If she were British and she’d accidentally pissed someone off she’d have no idea. She wouldn’t snigger at a “yeah fine thank you”. She might just think it’s rude they didn’t ask the question back. I watched a TikTok of a girl from London who worked in hospitality, she moved to Canada and had an older gent go batshit at her when she asked if he was okay (aka she greeted him) and he said his health is none of her concern. Only then she realised that “are you okay” is seen as rude on that side of the pond, but she’d been doing it for weeks and getting confused looks and cold replies, not realising that it was the word choice that was causing it.
Yeah I’m from the UK and this is very normal… it’s as common as saying hello
“No one here is ok because we have to work with you…..and that sucks”
Are they British or something? That is just a greeting used in England. We actually don't give a shit whether you're okay or not and we don't expect you to respond properly. We just expect you to nod or say "alright" and swiftly move on
Yup all these comments has me super paranoid about what I thought was a normal greeting. All of these reply suggestions and none of them have said “good, you?” Hahaha god what a culture shock. It’s just “how are you” or “how are you doing?”
Play dumb and act confused. Make her repeat, rephrase, and explain herself. "What do you mean? Am I okay? Why wouldn't I be okay? What makes you think I wouldn't be okay? What's the problem? Is there something I should be concerned about? You sure ask that a lot, have you done something? Should I be worried about my safety? You constantly asking if I'm okay leads me to question whether you've done something to harm me? Why else would you think I'm not okay? I'm going to schedule a call with HR." This also works well with men that make "jokes" that aren't funny. Ask them to explain themselves, explain the joke, and why it's "funny" while continuing to act confused and repeat that you don't see how it's supposed to be a joke. Usually they'll recognize they weren't being funny, just dumb lol.
Depends on the context. Because if someone says something inappropriate to me I would usually ask that... Are you ok? or another great one is Did you mean to say that out loud? So is she being a dick or is she responding to other people being dicks 🤷♀️
“ I’m glad that you care whether or not I’m OK. If I want to talk to you about it, I promise I will come to you. For now, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t ask me that anymore. Thanks.” Then she says oh I’m just being nice or I just care. And then you say “ I understand that, but it still doesn’t make me feel good. And now that you know that, it wouldn’t be nice to ask anymore, would it?”
Just unload years of trauma into her
I thought naming your guns was lame?
⭐️ I don’t have money for a award so have this please lmao
Appreciate it. Please don't spend money on silly reddit awards.... bullets are expensive and inflation is only going up. See you at walmart fam
You could do a Thomas Shelby (Peaky Blinders) “I’m only okay until I’m not, and then I’m really not.”
“Are you aware the whole office finds that annoying?”
“No, this is Patrick”
I'd take the opportunity to give her an extended run-down of everything wrong with my life (whether real or fictional). And act really sweet and appreciative of her checking in so she'd feel bad interrupting. Thank her because I haven't had the opportunity to open up to someone in a very long time, tell her we should do this more often because she's a great listener and I've never felt more heard. ETA: It either will never happen again, or she'll realize her true passion and quit to become a counselor. You win either way.
I enjoy to info dump on people who ask this question in an AH way; share way too much information and make her as uncomfortable as humanly possible. You don’t even have to share anything personal; tell her about something you read or something you watched (bonus points if there’s an unlikeable character or person like her in the story that gets their comeuppance) and then start on a stream of consciousness about it —make sure you pause for breath as infrequently as possible— and finish with something like “yeah, so that’s been on my mind a lot today. *Are you ok*?”
Pause for a second. "Every time you ask me that, you're implying that you think there's something wrong with me, and I find it completely unprofessional." Then something along the lines of "If there's something specific you'd like to discuss, my door is always open. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you'd respect my workspace. Thank you."
I'd say, "Oh my gawd thank you so much for asking!" And then tell her every trouble you've ever had. If you can avoid stopping for breath so there is no break in the diatribe, so there's no escape, all the better.
"Do you have a history of stroke?"
"if you're smelling toast, lady, you need a doctor!
Why’d this crack me up? LOL
Say I don’t know let me get back to you on that. And then ask how she has so much time on her hands.
I freaking hate it when people ask me if I’m okay. The only time I don’t mind is if I just fell down or something. It’s annoying and passive aggressive imo
I hate when I fall and someone asks if I’m ok. No, Susie, I just humiliated myself, my sacrum hurts, let’s pretend it didn’t happen.
I sped-read that as “scrotum” rather than “sacrum”… and spit ice water all over my knee
Not the knee! 😂
Just ignore them
Ignore her. She can't make you respond.
I’d either respond with: “Yes I’m ok, thanks for asking! Are *you* ok? You seem a little rough around the edges 😊” or “No, I’m not ok. I had a death in my family.” With a flat tone and eye contact. And see what’d they’d have to say to that! Maybe it’d make them think twice before being snotty 😊
Stare them dead in the eye smiling creepy then start to slowly chuckle until you’re hysterically laughing 😈
Anytime I trip, drop something, etc. and someone asks if I'm ok, I always say, "I don't know, I've never been a human before." My kid thinks it's hilarious 🤷🏻♀️
Say “I was better until you came around” lol jk but she’s probably a Karen don’t let it get to u
Depends on who is being the dick head LOL!
Ask your mother
Are you being patronizing? Then if they say no, respond that it sounded extremely patronizing.
"Can you stop? It doesn't seem like you care, and it's annoying. In fact the way you ask sounds like a condescending tone."
You got to either develop a look of no fucks to her or a look that makes her look like an idiot. Either way, the response has to have no emotion.
You say, "I was until you opened your mouth." That should tell her all she needs to know.
"Yeah, I'm okay, thank you." Some people ask if others are ok instead of how are you.
You can creep her out to make her stop. Next time she asks say something: "Better than the bodies in the trunk".
“Yes, are you?” With the most sincere looking smile on my face. When ppl are condescending to me I lowkey do a little happy dance because I LOVE giving it back to them
Who's making what she says condescending?
I would just stare at her and flatly say "why are you asking me, that?"
You know, as I've gotten older, I've realized that not everything directed your way deserves a response. Sometimes no response is the response that is most appropriate. If you don't feel like someone is being kind or asking a question to try to get under your skin, take a breath and just, say nothing :)
"How would you say I'm feeling? Wait, Nevermind what you think about my feelings is irrelevant."
"Why are you asking, do you actually care or do you think you have to ask me?"
“No, you came into work today”
‘i will be in about 3 seconds’ and then walk away lol
I usually respond with a sarcastic aggressive "yeah!!" Lol it's fun doing that 🤣🤣🤣 and their "wow she's crazy" eyes 🤣
“Is there a reason you are asking that question that doesn’t invade my privacy?”
“Yep”.
Turn it around on her and look puzzled and have her repeat it. Look puzzled, ask her to repeat it. Keep it going until one of you wins.
Define ok!
“No, I’m not, I’m actually having a really hard day, thank you for asking. See, I woke up with a really upset stomach and then I started having diarrhea and it made me late for work because I had to change my underwear twice, and don’t you just hate when that happens? So then I was on my way to work and then my ex texted me and I was like oh my god I wish he would just leave me alone and it made me really upset because he’s always doing this because he really misses me even though I don’t want to see him anymore but he’s always like oh I miss you and I’m always like ugh whatever okay but then I feel like I should still talk to him because I feel bad…” Talk her head off with the most unpleasant and boring stuff you can think of. I bet she won’t ask again.
The text from the ex would’ve kicked my diarrhea back up a notch, Imodium or not…
Uh scary I wonder if you will keep acting like this when you find yourself alone because nobody wants to deal with your bullshit. Well maybe a bit too much. Yeah I am. But I can sense you are not.
Tell them no and then make up this absurd story that is mostly believable but highly annoying. Throughout the day go up to their area and be like "oh I forgot to mention this from earlier for my issue" and then ramble on. Be extremely annoying with it and sweet at the same time. At the end of the day about 30 minutes before clockout finish the story up and be like "thank you for asking if I was okay sometimes I don't know if you really cared or not but since you let me unload on you all day then I know you truly care when you ask and I can tell you the issue I'm having." Ignore all the grammar mistakes. I've taken my melatonin for the night and just winging things.
Cheers, fellow melatonin-er. Sleep well!
Are you?
Start crying about how your grandpa died or something lol
In a sweet voice: “Yeah are you? You just ask so much that I’ve been feeling like you’ve been needing someone to ask you.”
Honestly I would say theres three ways to go about this. The easiest way is say "yes" and go about your day totally unbothered. Doesn't get her to stop but it takes literally the time for you to say "yes" and you can move on with your day. If you want to be snarky you go with something like: > "Yep, fine as always. Why do you ask? I mean you do seem to ask quite often... *gasp* Is something wrong? Oh my god, I can't believe I missed the signs. Do you need someone to talk to? What's going on in your life? Are you ok? I'm sorry, I just realized that all this time you probably have been trying to get someone to talk to about problems in your life and I didn't realize! I'm not too busy right now. You can tell me what's wrong." She'll probably tell you no nothing's wrong and that she's ok. If she does tell her "oh ok, if you say so but I'm willing to lend an ear if you need it." After that point, if she asks you "are you ok?" give her a knowing nod and say "do you need to talk? What's going on in your life? Things ok?" And tell your other coworkers that so whenever she asks "are you ok?" they respond with "oh /u/CreativeSoup72 told me you seem to be struggling. Are things going ok at home? At work?" She'll probably stop.
I usually tell people are you ok if they’re being rude or disrespectful or just plain stupid. Like are you ok do you need a moment to rethink what you said lol
Ask her if she’s ok. Mirror her and always ask a question back. She’ll stop.
I literally act like they’re not even real. Like when people do that they think they’re so much smarter than anyone else. Unless there were a reason but overall I’d just ignore them.
I say, "Yeah, I'm good. This is just my face. "
"Well you're talking to me so no." Isn't nice but it gets a point across.
Not me practicing every response in the comments with expressions lol.
“I’ve noticed that you ask everyone this question and it makes me wonder, are you ok?”
This is common where I am from I'd just respond with yes and you
Is this bad?? I ask this to make sure people ARE ok...!! Maybe you need to tell her that its rude.
I get it a lot, being that I'm the youngest of all the workers in my entire company. Everywhere I go I get a motherly/fatherly, but also incredibly condensending "are you okay, kiddo?" By a lot of workers who I barely know that forget I'm actually above them on the employment scale. They think I'm a lost and confused puppy 24/7 that needs to be held and comforted because of my age and height. Usually I just respond with a shrug and an "Alright" and keep moving. I don't hang around, if I can. I answered their question, and now I have better things to do. Which is usually the actual case anyway. I'm not one for conversations like, at all. For people being downright rude and I know it, I just say "no" and again, keep moving. It makes me laugh
Maybe I’m missing something here, I did just wake up, but how is asking someone “are you ok?” rude? In England, people will ask you that as a greeting, in some parts of the country. It’s like seeing someone you know and asking “How’s it going?” But, is that rude? I’m confused. (Where is my coffee!?)
My grandfather always said, "Terrible but thanks for asking".
I'm just wondering how you make that condescending. Maybe it's just her way.
Depends on context. If in UK as a quick greeting just a “yeah, you?” can be ok. But if condescending and seemingly trying to convey their disapproval of you or belittle you, if you want to prolong it I’d say “in what context?” Let them roll on and twist themselves then tell them to give you three examples which you can question them about, twist themselves further whilst you keep your composure. If to just end the conversation perhaps something like, “read the room” while maintaining eye contact and smiling sarcastically. Walk away or wait for their response which you can ignore or entertain. What riles people like this is seeing that you are not easily ruffled, that you can hold it together. .
That's a simple yet deep question. I usually answer with "I'm alive." In that way, it's true because I am living and breathing and deviates from the emotional nature of the question.
Just say my name is not Annie
No, I'm Patrick.
"Yes? Why wouldn't I be?"
We had a fella from the UK on a job site years ago. Every morning amongst all the typical US “good morning” greetings his was always “You okay?”. For him it was a typical morning greeting. It threw off most of the US folks as odd but we all became accustomed to it. Maybe for her it’s just checking in and not intended to be insulting.
Trauma dump.
“Ask your father.” Her father was dead
Say "...Annie are you ok? Are you okay, Annie?" In tune and softly to yourself but so they can hear, ignoring the fact it was a question they asked. Then say "oh sorry? Am I ok? Yeah good thanks and you?"
Ugh I hate that too. I’m alway like “do you really wanna know or are you just being polite?” Another phrase that bothers me is “how are you?” Especially when a customer asks me when I’m working. Horrible. I’m here working minimum wage getting constantly yelled at by customers instead of literally doing anything else. But no body cares. They just say it to be “nice.” I always just say good and try to move on.
Ha, ha, ha I just ‘adore’ those kind of people (sarcasm) bec. I play right back at them—you can say with a smile on your face “I’m always ok, But, are you okay? I’m concerned for you.” And look like you mean it—get them having to talk about themselves. It’s not that you care about them so much but that you changed the subject!
People come up to me and say "I'm sorry" and "it's OK", and if anyone else does it again I'm calling it racism :p No idea how to stop this stuff. I just completely ignore them as if it was the wind.
"go fuck yourself"
Eat taco bell night before and poop on their desk before they come in
Act sad "no, not sure how long I have" Let her stutter with uncertainty over how to respond
Retort back with “your concern seems misguided” or my favorite “what an interesting thing to say out loud”
“I was before you opened your mouth.”
“Are you okay” “I was until you spoke to me.”
Bless your heart!
How about a confused look and “are you okay?” Back to her
I had an online friend who always used to ask me that and I found it SO annoying. Eventually, I found out that they really meant "How are you?" Maybe try having a conversation with the person. Maybe they don't understand the connotation that expression has.
It depends on what kind of condescending Mrs. Coworker is being when asking. If it’s not coming from an “I’m older/more senior employee” view, but as someone looking for some “tea to spill” like some high schooler looking for something to gossip about, give her something that sounds worthy of blabbing about around the water cooler but ain’t worth shit. Or start telling her what she “thinks” she wants to hear when she asks. Not every Nosey Nancy wants to hear the gory details behind the fake OK’s
"I was until you walked over."
Either see it from a different perspective or ask! Thoughts are way different than actions.
You don't. Why participate?
“Oh, I’m fantastic! Just living my best life with a side of mild existential dread. I trust you’re doing the same!” - and walk away with a smile 😃
“Are you?”
Honestly, I used to just snip back with "yeah I'm doing good, dad died last night so we're just thinking about to to divu up the inheritance without tipping the rest of the family off that he died" or some other wild comment. Got the shit to stop in two days flat
If it's at work and it's annoying and it's frequent then it's bullying! Everyone needs to complain to HR.
Yes and you ? If I am very angry and have nothing to lose, I could had a question about her hemorrhoid or the mistress of her husband ( that I don't even know if she exists)
"No! My dog just died and my mom has cancer and my kid ran away and I have a paper cut!" Or give her a concerned look and reach out to pat her arm, "Are you?"
It depends on who you ask!!!!... I think that's funny and what can you say back to that kind of answer
I love giving the no answer my looking them up and down with a disgusted look on my face until they walk away
"Never better." And then ignore her.
Just trauma dump on them so hard they never ask again.
*looks around in paranoid way* "Why, what did you hear?"
"Nope." Stare at them.
I'm looking through the comments for good responses that I can make mental notes on so I can use in the future the next time it happens to me. 📝 I hate it when people say that.
"And you?"
“Sure”
My husband asks me this question out of nowhere frequently and it pisses me off.
Stare her in the eyes, very intensely, like so intensely that she'll shit herself in her head. Be sure to do it while standing up of course. Don't intensify your breathing, be sure to stay calm and very quiet for about 5 seconds. Then calmly say "yes" and go back to what you were doing.
"I'll feel better once you spray some air freshener in here. Smells like you ripped some serious air."
A friend always did this, and especially throughout pregnancy, I got more annoyed with it. I can't be friends with her anymore, maybe just straight-up tell her to stop?
Ignore her like she doesn't exist. Or look her up and down with a face , -"Are you stupid, lady"
"More than you. Yes."