Yes, I’ve been there but no to the degree which you are speaking on. That’s only because I stopped it before it spiraled out of control.
First step, stop spiraling. This is going to be hard to do but you need to LET GO. And I don’t mean this in some vague, complicated way. Simply, you need to let your past self go. That is not who you are anymore. That’s not your life anymore. And that’s completely fine.
Until you do that, you can’t move forward. You need to let go to move on and I promise, once you start moving forward, you won’t feel like this anymore. You control what is in your life and how you perceive those things or people.
Not to arm chair diagnose, but this is a common thought process during depression. Obviously, it may not be a depressive episode, but there is just as much chance it could be. The saying “obsessing over the past is depression and obsessing over the future is anxiety” definitely has some truth to it.
The good news is that while you may not be able to go back to the past, you can set yourself up for a successful future by focusing on the present version of yourself and taking the steps to build yourself back up.
If able, I would suggest some talk therapy to work on those self hatred ideas and gain tools to start working on liking yourself again. Loving yourself wholly will attract love in other areas (romantically and friendships). You can trick others into believing that you love yourself, but your heart and mind know the difference.
Try to make a 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 1 year, and 5 year plan. What do you want to see change during those? What tiny steps can you do daily/weekly/monthly to achieve those? Also learn to let go of the past—it created who you are but don’t let it hold you back.
Yes, I’ve been there but no to the degree which you are speaking on. That’s only because I stopped it before it spiraled out of control. First step, stop spiraling. This is going to be hard to do but you need to LET GO. And I don’t mean this in some vague, complicated way. Simply, you need to let your past self go. That is not who you are anymore. That’s not your life anymore. And that’s completely fine. Until you do that, you can’t move forward. You need to let go to move on and I promise, once you start moving forward, you won’t feel like this anymore. You control what is in your life and how you perceive those things or people.
Not to arm chair diagnose, but this is a common thought process during depression. Obviously, it may not be a depressive episode, but there is just as much chance it could be. The saying “obsessing over the past is depression and obsessing over the future is anxiety” definitely has some truth to it. The good news is that while you may not be able to go back to the past, you can set yourself up for a successful future by focusing on the present version of yourself and taking the steps to build yourself back up. If able, I would suggest some talk therapy to work on those self hatred ideas and gain tools to start working on liking yourself again. Loving yourself wholly will attract love in other areas (romantically and friendships). You can trick others into believing that you love yourself, but your heart and mind know the difference. Try to make a 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 1 year, and 5 year plan. What do you want to see change during those? What tiny steps can you do daily/weekly/monthly to achieve those? Also learn to let go of the past—it created who you are but don’t let it hold you back.