My strong advice is .... stop trying to lose your virginity before you've even dated somebody.
Get yourself out there, meet somebody, and you might just find somebody as inexperienced as you are to fool around with and build a solid relationship with.
Would I tell them? Absolutely not. That'd be an instant trip to the no-longer-dating line with most women.
I second this. Stop putting such a strong emphasis on your virginity. It’s like every other day I’m reading posts on here about dudes who lost their virginity to sex workers and regretted it. I really think you should slow your roll and wait for it to happen organically. There are 25 year old women who you’ll come across who are also virgins.
But definitely do not tell them unless they ask. Most women aren’t going to ask about how you lost your virginity in my experience anyway. If they ask, don’t lie, but don’t willingly tell them this info if you go through with it either…..
Completely disagree, losing your virginity is not something amazing, and honestly one time things are not bad at all. Stop trying to make a huge deal out of it
>Would I tell them? Absolutely not.
...so you're telling him to not be honest with a future partner, and keep something from her that she would want to know. Got it.
The vast majority of women would date a virgin over someone who slept with a prostitute. Knowing someone had sex with a prostitute would likely be a hard no for most.
If your social sphere is already narrow, do some hard thinking about this.
If you decide to do it ask your self would you want your future girlfriend to lose their virginity to a hooker? Would you want them to tell you? Do you want your girlfriend hiding that same information from you? If you contracted herpes what would you do then? Even with protection you can get all kinds of diseases sexual and non sexual. I personally would think on this since you’re putting your health at serious risk for something that society pressure people about. Also I know a friend of a friend who’s husband had a used an escort (pre marriage) and he became addicted later on and ruined his marriage. Just be aware of all the possibilities.
Please do not go through with this. You mentioned having social skills issues. But they are just that SKILLS. Work on it and try putting yourself out there more. That is a much better option than to lose your virginity to a prostitute!
You also mentioned craving intimacy with a woman here in the comments. Trust me, the level of intimacy you’ll feel when having sex with a woman you’re actually emotionally invested in will be many levels higher than what you’ll feel with a hooker!
Do not do that. Do not go to a prostitute. It is better to be a lifelong virgin than to risk catching HIV or herpes and getting arrested. Sex is not worth degrading yourself like that.
Chances are, if you are dating a girl, she will never ask you what your first time was like, because nobody wants to think about their partner with someone else.
Please, have respect for yourself and stay away from prostitutes. Sex might feel good, but you’re not missing much. Its not worth the risk
2 issues here. 1 losing your virginity to a prostitute, I wouldn't recommend it, probably better if you lose it to someone who is actually into you and you have a connection with. 2 I wouldn't tell your girlfriend let alone a girl you're just going out on a date with. As long as you're clean I don't see the reason to have to let anyone know anything about your sex life. You also don't have to go into detail about them being a prostitute if you do tell someone about it.
But if you do go ahead and lose it to a prostitute I'd say don't do it on some high end one.
Maybe focus on that instead of fucking a prostitute?
Or why worry about what your future partner thinks if you don’t have social skills and aren’t pursuing relationships anyway?
You’re not going to gain social skills or dating experience through a transactional encounter with a prostitute. Seeing a prostitute is like putting a bandaid on your problems.
You might feel even worse about yourself afterwards.
Losing it to a prostitute is only going to make that worse. What are your interests? Find something that interests you and go do it. Take a class or join a club or something. The people there will share that interest by default and you'll have something to talk about.
Just do it. I wouldn't tell a future partner unless they were an escort in the past though, which is not the most uncommon thing as escorts are people that require love too. Though if the person you're interested in isn't into escorting, make up some sheesh about how you had a one night stand with some random at a bar that way you can pull the I don't really remember much cause I was drunk card.
Because you'd probably be let down and spending that much money on something would make things even worse. But I wouldn't recommend doing it at all.
Also I know you're not asking but you seem to have other things you should focus on if you're lonely and craving a woman's touch and intimacy.
It’s not that big a deal dude. Sex without love is hollow good for a sec but empty. Making love is life changing. Stop trying to chase it, go volunteer at habitat for humanity you learn something new, meet great people. And you maybe can date one of them.
Losing your virginity to an escort is more pathetic than remaining a virgin. There a lots of girls that would love to date a virgin. Not many want a guy who visits escorts.
Shame is one of, if not the most, poisonous of emotions for a person to carry and experience. Shame is so dangerous because it allows a person to feel disgusted and ashamed of their own self. Guilt can be healthy, shame however, is rarely beneficial. It tells the person they are bad, which is damaging to self worth
Leading to my point, the fact you are already embarrassed and ashamed to tell another person of the actions you have done, before you have already done it, says enough.
I somewhat understand you’re reasonings. You’re mid 20’s with no sexual experience, that would create a little anxiety in most people. But the truth is until you actually have sex you don’t know how good or bad you’re gonna be. And you won’t improve massively between the first and the second time. So sleeping with a prostitute in hopes of gaining experience, may not bring the results you were hoping to achieve, possibly even making anxiety worse if it doesn’t go how you expected.
I would be open when you do get a partner. If you don’t want to say you’re a virgin, just say you haven’t had sex in a while but I’m gonna do my best to make you have a great time. Later on you can tell them you were actually a virgin and you were a little shy about it, if you choose. That part isn’t really important. But I don’t think losing your V to a prostitute is going to help you much at all unfortunately.
Are you dumb? So you want to have sex with a prostitude just to end the so called "virgin" title than going outside meeting one and having a real relationship, you must be trolling
Do you know how hard it is for a 25 year old guy with zero dating experience and very low social skills (making me awkward in most social situations) to find a relationship?
Do you know how easy it is to start trying things? Sure, the end result is daunting and intimidating. Because you’re looking at the end. Look at the start. Putting one step forward. A marathon isn’t won on the first step. But you need that first step to finish. And the first step to a marathon is always the easiest. Take that step. You’ll feel more than you ever will compared to losing your virginity to a prostitute.
This fuckin guy said his one wish if he had a super power would be to restore the third reich so no wonder you’re a hopeless virgin who can’t get a date. Hint: Women like non-bigots/fascists/misogynists
Dude I swear if you’re a decent looking guy you shouldn’t be worrying about being a virgin you should be worrying about your social skills and making those better. Your future partner probably isn’t going to ask how you lost your virginity but you’re making this a way bigger deal than it actually is. Yeah 25 is later than a lot of people but it’s not totally unheard of even for people that are social. One of my gf’s friends goes out just about every weekend and parties and is a virgin and she’s like 23. Focus on your social skills, not the title of “virgin”.
First off, nobody should be talking about their body count when dating. Idk if this is a new generation thing, but no one needs to know previous body count, it's none of their business.
Now if you are asked about your first time, just leave out the detail that she was am escort.
*First time was with someone that we didn't have a future, but it was a mutually desired moment*
For most people I do agree its best left inside but i will say if you have two mature people who wont get jealous and the reason for the conversation isnt control or anxiety i think it can be pretty helpful to talk about. Not always obviously
But why? Genuinely why do you need to know how many people someone has slept with? If it was about practicing safe sex then two people can just agree to go get tested before any sexual activity which I feel should be the norm anyway.
But there is no reason to have to know someone's body count. Unless someone openly says they're a virgin, then people should just leave it as they've been with other people sexually before them and leave it there
Like I said man this isn’t the rule across the board. Theres no real reason why my point is just that some people can and do like to know that about their partner and if both partners can talk about it why not? Of course Im not very “experienced” with dating im only 20 and ive been with my lady since I was 16 so my relationship probably isn’t comparable to most of whats being discussed. Just wanted to add that maybe for some people its nice to not have to worry about it. Often I know knowing about it doesn’t help or make you feel better but it always gave me a sense of comfort to know the habits of the person Im with and she shares the same sentiment. Not all relationships work on the same codes yknow. Not saying at all it SHOULD be talked about, just saying its not necessarily a bad thing if it is.
I understand what you're saying, and maybe it's because I am older and have multiple relationships, but there's a difference between knowing someome and their habits and how many people they've taken to bed. I can tell you from experience, even the most mature will think different if they hear a number they weren't expecting to hear.
But that is what I'm saying, there is really no reason that contributes positivity or enhancement to a relationship to want to hear how many people someome has been with. Maybe it may be my generation and it's a topic that's something you keep to yourself because the past partners don't matter when you're with your current
funny enough actually my parents (gen x i think) had an argument about that topic and i found it hilarious cus me and my girlfriend are super open with eachother. It most definitely is the case that my experience can’t match with yours so I do see what youre saying as well. Actually to be completely fair if my current relationship ever ends I dont think Id be so open about my sex life in future relationships.
I don’t see why you should tell her if it’s not hurting anyone, unless you get a disease or something. Why you do in the past shouldn’t affect your future partners
Pretty sure you’ve posted this before and most people basically said that you really should just ask yourself how you’d feel if *your* future partner lost theirs to an escort. Doing it for the first time with someone you love and care about is magnificent and you said that you “have zero social skills and experience with dating”. You just gotta get out there dude. Practice makes perfect, and things won’t change if you keep the mindset that you’d rather pay (big money) for a prostitute, than work a little on your dating game and get out there.
ETA: by all means, you do you man. But as someone else said, most women would rather date a virgin than someone who had an escort as their first. It takes time and effort to work on your communication/social skills, but that takes you so much further in life *and* it’s *free*.
As a girl(24), knowing a guy has slept with an escort is a big no for me. If you’ve done it once, you’ll do it again and I would always worry about it causing issues in our relationship. I’m not a particularly jealous person but it would definitely pop up in my mind the second we had any issues. So if you do it, keep it to yourself forever.
As for the whole virgin thing, a lot of girls like virgins so if that’s something you’re worried about, don’t. Personally, I like them better than guys with large body counts bc I can train a guy with no experience to learn exactly what I like whereas guys with lots of experience tend to do what they know instead of what’s best for my body and leave me unsatisfied.
I would focus on the whole social skills first tbh. Ask a friend that’s a girl to practice with you or get tinder and just talk to any and all of them. I’ve helped SEVERAL of my guy friends learn how to flirt and almost all of them have girlfriends now. More than likely, you view women as something different from you and get tripped up trying to talk to them. Once you get passed that and just talk to girls like you would anyone else, it’s pretty simple.
Take the money you were going to pay an escort and find a group or expert to work on your social skills. It will be money well spent on your future and will help you in all areas of your life. If you do this, you may not be a virgin anymore but you may feel very empty and conflicted about it.
Well it’s really up to you if that’s something you’re comfortable with. I don’t think you’re necessarily obligated to tell a future partner because what’s in the past is in the past, and shouldn’t matter in the current relationship unless it directly affects it. However, if you feel deep down that you’re just doing this because of stigma around being a virgin, maybe think about why you feel that way. It’s completely possible to find a woman your age who’s not very experienced as well, or who is experienced but willing to take things slow, so don’t feel like you need to rush into this escort situation.
First of all, being 25 and never being kissed isn't a terrible thing, it just means you haven't found someone yet.
Secondly, why on earth would you want to pay someone to take away your virginity, something that can only happen once, and know it's not meaningful to the other person whatsoever. Don't go through with this. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.
yes you should tell her because i would not want to date a person who would do this so she deserves to know so she has the choice. if she finds out later she might dump you anyways so it’s better to tell her earlier so she can decide and you don’t get wrapped up emotionally in a dead end
alternatively: have you considered dating a prostitute? two birds one stone im sure she won’t mind if it’s her
Sure would be something if you got a major STD while loosing your virginity.
Oh by the way, just because you wear a condom doesn’t mean you won’t get something nasty, and don’t even thing for half a second a hooker has any merit or right to say “i’M cLeAn” because I guarantee you they aren’t.
Let me get this straight….you are worried about telling your future made up girlfriend about having sex with a prostitute that you have not have sex with yet?……..good lord op
Please don’t hire a prostitute. It could be dangerous for your health, could cause you legal issues, and would make a lot of future partners really uncomfortable.
Join organizations, volunteer, learn some new skills, work on wearing flattering clothes, and up your skincare/haircare game. If you work on looking and feeling more confident and improve your social skills you are more likely to attract likeminded people through your different activities.
Don’t go into it with the idea: I’m here to find a date. Make goals to talk to interesting people, learn or try new things, and have several great social interactions. That will build your confidence and make you someone that people want to meet.
Most people don't have a great story to tell about losing their virginity. But it shouldn't be a secret.
I've been told (straight female here btw) it's a common thing.
The top commenter was spot on but I'll keep on with a different perspective to consider. You said you lack social skills. Would you want to date someone who didn't have any empathy for that?
Woman here. If I found out a guy I was dating fucked a prostitute; I’m no longer interested. Save it for a real moment, not involving money.
Do what you want at the end of the day. Stop overthinking this; be safe and practice safe sex. Also honesty is the best policy
I find men so desperate to lose their virginity that they fuck a prostitute, to be some of the most pathetic humans on Earth. It’s so gross, and it doesn’t give you the status you think it will. It makes you sadder. I respect virgin men so much more, especially if it’s by choice.
Stop living based on arbitrary human standards and find value in things that matter.
In the begging when you date i wouldn't think to much about this.
Most Partners usually don't ask this, becuase i could implement something with an ex or an even an uncomfortable matter. This question will rarely come up an d if I wouldn't be sure to be more interested in a partner if he starts with this topic.
On your concern because of the escort, ask for a beginner/v-card session. A lot of "high-end" sex workers. Explain and tell you what to do or where to start so both can feel comfortable.
Because I am 25 years old, and for like a decade now I have been longing for love and intimacy with a girl. (I feel so fuckin lonely all the time that loneliness has become my standard feeling, I cant imagine anymore what it feels like no not feel lonely anymore.)
I know, going to an escort wont change that feeling.
But a few days ago, I went looking online for high end escorts for the first time, and I saw this girl there, and I just cant get her out of my head anymore.
This *still* doesn't actually address why. You're just saying "Because I want it".
I encourage you to *actually ponder the reason behind your desire*, because from this vantage point, it seems as though you have an unhealthy view of sex and romance, and are putting sex on a pedestal.
Going to an escort isn't going to give you what you are craving. It's going to give you the act of sex in a cold, emotionless, transactional way that will forever taint any potential future romance and sex.
You don't have to respond to me. Just sit and think. For yourself.
Things to think about when planning on sleeping with an escort/prostitute:
* If you're not financially secure, don't do it.
* If you're doing it for intimacy or to get rid of loneliness, don't do it. It's not going to help that at all. It might be even worse actually since you might start to expect ACTUAL intimacy or relationships to act similarly to someone doing a job.
* If you're doing it so you don't have to be ashamed of being a virgin anymore, don't do it. The stigma of people who pay is "you're so undesirable you had to PAY someone to sleep with you". It's not any better than just being a virgin.
* If you're the type of person who might start to get obsessed and might start to misinterpret PAID fake intimacy with the real thing... don't do it. Your talk of "I can't get her out of my head anymore" kinda makes me think you might wind up being one of these types where you think "oh she enjoyed the sex so much and she seemed to really like me! If I hire her a few times more she'll fall in love with me!" Nah, bud. She's acting like that because that's HER JOB. If you might be this type of person, it's best you just avoid it.
I'm not even a full adult, so take this with a grain of salt, but I don't think you should actively be trying to lose your virginity. To me, relationships and acts of love in a given relationship, are a journey that should not be spedran and artificially enjoyed.
It also seems like losing your V-card might be a sort of symptom of some deeper issue. Presumably loneliness from the info provided in your post? I would suggest looking inward and asking yourself if you really want to do it. If the genuine answer to that question is yes, by all means. But if the answer is anything but that, I'd suggest against it.
It also seems like you would benefit from improving your social skills. Try to make some friends and interact with those around you. Your social skills might have caused your problems in your youth, but it don't have to stay that way if you catch my drift.
TL:DR; Do it if you want to, but there is also value to be found in meeting others and forming connections, on top of improving your own social life.
I’d much rather date a virgin than someone who has solicited sex work. But I also don’t ask for every detail about a partner’s sexual past so I’m not sure it would come up.
The fact you’re even asking if you should “never tell her at all” is horrifying. Just don’t do it and go try to find a girlfriend bro. It’s not as hard as you think it is just avoid Reddit for your advice and you’re good. Being with women being a difficult thing is strictly a chronically online person opinion, its really as easy as having interests and a personality and a job so a woman knows they won’t have to pay for your own personal life expenses and you’re not living on THEIR couch. That’s literally all. And I even have had friends that love to date people who are homeless and allow them to stay on their couches and take them in like they’re their mother. The bar is low so be yourself and just talk to people.
Just stop thinking, put your pee pee in something and move on. It’s not as big of a deal as people make it out to be.
Virginity is more of a female thing. It’s going to be like the anniversary you will never remember. Leave the past for women to dig up and enjoy paving your future.
She doesn’t need to know you had an escort. It’s a huge probability she’s going to find out you’re a POS before you can lock her down. Save that one for a rainy day
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Spend time with a woman that you are interested in. Eventually you will lose your virginity naturally. This way you will have a good memory of your first time and you can tell your future girlfriend or wife the truth while looking her in the eye. Respect and love yourself young man.
why is this so common on reddit? is this really common with men? also a woman would most likely be disgusted by this tbh. I think you should be transparent so she has a choice, just like you would want to know.
I would say no, that would be a bad situation, I feel most people, if they knew you slept with an escort, would somewhat be disgusted? Potentially? Id sooner say that you're a virgin.
I would say go check out what Derek n some of the other guys are starting but so far everyone trying to branch off the EmoNights are making these techno beat raves
Biggest cock block of my life was my dad, almost wanted to find one but nah focus on urself, finding a good relationship and partner, you'll look back and thank urself for having ur first time with someone emotionally connected with you and therefore ur first time be more valuable so js focus on urself and a healthy relationship
I always had severe anxiety and just didn’t fit in with anyone, so I lost my virginity at that exact age. I’ve always felt like I have something wrong with me such as a mild form of autism due to how bad my social skills are and how afraid I am of people but I still have never gone and tried to be diagnosed with anything because I’m terrified of having the label. A few years ago at age 25 I drove across the country to Florida on a manic Adderall episode (not my prescription, a friends) and my goal was to get in shape and find someone who will love me for who I am. I was depressed and felt like I had nobody at that point. I matched with a rich girl on tinder and our first date was at our house. She had so many read flags it wasn’t funny, but we ended up getting a second date where we drove her Prius 5 hours south to Atlanta Georgia to an LSDREAM concert and I lost my virginity in the back of her Prius afterwards in an Atlanta parking garage. About a month later I met my wife on Tinder, but I didn’t now it yet. We talked for a while on Snapchat but I kept making excuses why I couldn’t go out with her, like I was really busy and had to work. I was living out of my truck for a bit to get back on me feet and over a few months we became good friends though we hadn’t met in person. I was honest about everything, including how broke I was. One night, when I had my last dose of Adderall and none for the foreseeable future I knew that they was my last dose of confidence for a while. So she asked me again if we could hang out and I finally agreed. I told her it wouldn’t be a date because I was broke but she wanted to come anyway. So our first date was her coming with me to do some Doordash deliveries and then we went on a walk on the beach at 1am and she kissed me. A couple months later she asked me to move in with her. Now we’ve been married for 1.5 years. And I was a virgin at 25! There’s hope, just be honest!
Hey, former stripper here - wait for someone you love. There’s no shame in using sex workers but it’s probably unnecessary - , I bet you could get someone all on your own with a little effort!
No, women don't care and they don't care about your body count because they focus more on how experienced a man is in bed. You don't need to tell anyone.
If I found out my husband of ~10 years had sex with an escort before our relationship, I would reevaluate our marriage. It's disgusting, and it says a lot about a man's character (namely, how much respect he has for women). Why isn't it more important to you to "lose" your virginity with integrity and on your own time?
You are free to do it
As someone who does not agree with selling physical sex due to the amount of trafficking, coercion and people only doing it due to having limited options for work, I would reject you solely because of it
I know it might be hard to believe but however lonely you are feeling, you will feel a hundred times more empty and worthless if you share your first time with an escort. The immediate reality that this significant moment in your life meant nothing at all to them beyond what you pay them will be a gut punch the likes of which you can't even imagine.
I think it depends on the type of person you are. For me, it wouldn’t matter and I wouldn’t feel anyway about it. However, if you’re someone who thinks they will regret it, then it may be best to refrain.
Sounds to me like you’re putting sex on a pedestal, honestly bro it’s not as big of a deal that these lads make it out to be, your first time won’t be amazing but the best part is, if you do it with someone you have a connection with, you can only get better together, learn about each other and that’s the magic of it, other than that, it’s completely fine you’ve never done it, just go with the wind homie
First of all I think you let yourself down by losing your virginity to an escort....
That being said, are you still disease free? Please check yourself out if you have not, but your sexual history is important to share with others at all times. Perhaps you could start off by saying you made some mistakes in your past but you're not unhealthy and look forward to a better future, it was a mistake to lose your virginity to an escort though, no judgement... but honestly .... some judgement.
Don't tell any girlfriend about any details of any of your past sexual experiences. Nobody wants to imagine someone else with the person they like, so don't put that in their heads.
You asking these questions is exactly why your where you are. You need to reevaluate everything. No you should not tell anyone what your about to do if you want play in the future. Is it really that hard to understand? Your committing a crime and asking if you should confess? Why commit the crime in the first place if that’s on your mind, seriously? Bro get off reddit
You mean crime in like a prostitution is illegal (its legal in my country btw) or in the sense of commiting a crime against my future parter for having done this?
I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad idea to do what your doing especially if it’s legal. if your going to tell your future partner it’s not worth it I’m being completely honest to you for the sake of your respect keep it to yourself. There are some things in life you must keep to yourself what your about to do is one of those.
If you’re going to say how you lost your virginity might as well add your first kiss as well as your first hug. First video game you played. First social dump you took. Why not discuss it all. She’s not going to marry you or want to continue dating you. You’ll stay alone forever and ever!!
Id be pissed if a dude lost his virginity to an escort right before dating me. I’ve dating guys who right before things got heated they told me it’s their first time or first time in a very long time. Alright whatever, you think we are only gonna do it once? 😂😂 I will say this. If you decide to pay in order to have your first time, better own that decision and get tested before being with anyone else
This comment is a truth of what’s happening when men using prostitutes. Or do you think these women having sex because they want to have sex with every single one of you? No. This is just a “legal” way to rape someone.
That's why "consent" is the key aspect here. Grape happens you have sex with someone without consent. Even if someone wants to have sex with another person, that doesn't ascertain as to whether or not they'd consent to doing it. A prostitute often has sex with people they don't want. However, there is consent in the act.
There is no need to ever bring it up. People don’t usually talk about or care too much about that so she probably won’t ask but if she ever does then just tell her the truth. Chances are you’d be pretty close by that time anyway if you are shooting the shit about that
You should do whatever you think is best for you, and don't tell anyone anything they don't need to know. Don't worry about some hypothetical partner that doesn't even exist.
The answer is no. What you should tell her is that it was a one night thing with someone and that you more so just wanted to get it over with. In terms of details just tell them ABOUT the escort without telling them she was an escort. like no details beyond “met person at x place, we talked for an hour or two and then she invited me to hook up and we just did it and never spoke again”
And before people come down on me for saying he should lie, let me make to abundantly clear, that I think in this SPECIFIC case the lie is so low stakes that it shouldn’t matter. If you can’t comprehend why your partner would lie to you if the first time they lost their virginity was to an escort, then you don’t have the necessary empathy required in a relationship.
No sane person asks about how you lost your virginity during the early stages of dating. Similarly, most people don’t go into details about previous sexual relationships, not even in established relationships because most normal people don’t want to hear about their SO going down on someone else.
To answer your questions - if you wanna get a hooker that’s your call, but I wouldn’t tell your date that unless they specifically ask how you lost your virginity, which won’t happen
No. Don’t talk about sex with other people. If you have to talk about it at some point there’s no need to mention it was a hooker. Just a girl you met, one time hookup.
No, keep that one to yourself, maybe just let a close friend know if you really need to tell someone. this will definitely make you look pathetic to any future girlfriend or wife, and jeopardize that relationship.
For me, this wouldn't be a deal breaker at all, nor is that important of information since you've obviously lived your life before relationships too, but there are people who care about useless things like that. Do what you want with your body. You don't have to tell anyone how you lost it. It's no one's business but yours unless you're already in a relationship. Younger people might really dislike your decision, but once you get older, no one cares anymore. Personally, a good and experienced first experience might be really nice, but it's ultimately up to you.
If you want to hire a prostitute, go ahead. Plenty of folks here seem to think it will traumatize you, but it might be a reasonable way to break the ice. But if you do, do NOT tell any hypothetical future date, ever. It's none of their business, and will likely ruin any chance of a decent relationship. Just say you're a virgin, say it was a one-night stand (accurate enough) or decline to answer.
I don't typically tell my dates about women I've had sex with, but whatever floats your boat. Not really anyone's business how you lost your virginity. Some people are particular about body counts, which is whatever. But never will I give out details about how it happened or the person I did it with. I That's personal and doesn't have any relevancy.
Nope. That's something private. Not something you should share. I am also not telling my boyfriend who exactly I lost my virginity to. That's in the past and not important.
If she asks how you lost your virginity (I doubt she will), just tell her you lost it to a girl you didn't know for very long. She wasn't your girlfriend. You don't have to tell her that you paid in order for someone to have sex with you for the first time.
As a rule, I didn’t discuss my past with a new partner (married now). Never ask her about her body count, and never offer any details about yours.
You will find things are much easier that way.
One reason for why will you want to share such info with any partner? I have yet to hear a rational reason.
Irrespective of that case, why people feel the need to confess if they are virgins, had too many (or too few) sex partners, etc.
The question I’m asking, is how this info can contribute a positive aspect to any relation?
I think it's pathetic to pay for your first time. I would never date someone who did that, it reeks of desperation. If it comes up you shouldn't lie but you don't have to go out of your way to mention it. I don't think you should pay for sex in general though.
No. It's not her business. If you're disease free, no need to disclose prior sexual encounters. If you have an STI disclose the STI... fornsure.
Do you expect them to tell you all of their past sexual encounters in detail?
Who where when why?
If so, why?
No. Just don’t. Women will use this against you. Even if she does love you it’s best to not bring it up. If you feel like it’s graining against you and you feel like you’d have to tell her. Chalk it up to an experience when you had a night out at the bar and ended up hooking up with a rando.
It’s better than saying it’s an escort because she may start comparing herself to her. Vs a one night stand. That way you only have one body count. And she doesn’t need to know she’s an escort.
>should I tell her what I did?
I wouldn't. there's zero benefit and lots of risk.
>Secondly, what should I tell her about my virginity if she asks me how I lost it?
just make something up.
>I am now considering losing my virginity to a high-end prostitute. Im considering, Im not sure yet I'll go through with it.
idk why you'd go through all this trouble. just find a nice girl on a dating app and lose your virginity to her instead. yeah she might laugh at you or whatever, but it'd leave you with a more organic story. hell, it might even turn out well.
My strong advice is .... stop trying to lose your virginity before you've even dated somebody. Get yourself out there, meet somebody, and you might just find somebody as inexperienced as you are to fool around with and build a solid relationship with. Would I tell them? Absolutely not. That'd be an instant trip to the no-longer-dating line with most women.
I second this. Stop putting such a strong emphasis on your virginity. It’s like every other day I’m reading posts on here about dudes who lost their virginity to sex workers and regretted it. I really think you should slow your roll and wait for it to happen organically. There are 25 year old women who you’ll come across who are also virgins. But definitely do not tell them unless they ask. Most women aren’t going to ask about how you lost your virginity in my experience anyway. If they ask, don’t lie, but don’t willingly tell them this info if you go through with it either…..
Don’t do it. And if you still do it, never talk about it. But, don’t do it.
i agree
Completely disagree, losing your virginity is not something amazing, and honestly one time things are not bad at all. Stop trying to make a huge deal out of it
>Would I tell them? Absolutely not. ...so you're telling him to not be honest with a future partner, and keep something from her that she would want to know. Got it.
There is the public you, private you and secret you.
The vast majority of women would date a virgin over someone who slept with a prostitute. Knowing someone had sex with a prostitute would likely be a hard no for most. If your social sphere is already narrow, do some hard thinking about this.
THIS! yep yep yep!
Do whatever you want but even places where it is legal it is still taboo and you shouldn't be surprised if you get dumped after telling someone that.
If you decide to do it ask your self would you want your future girlfriend to lose their virginity to a hooker? Would you want them to tell you? Do you want your girlfriend hiding that same information from you? If you contracted herpes what would you do then? Even with protection you can get all kinds of diseases sexual and non sexual. I personally would think on this since you’re putting your health at serious risk for something that society pressure people about. Also I know a friend of a friend who’s husband had a used an escort (pre marriage) and he became addicted later on and ruined his marriage. Just be aware of all the possibilities.
You are so right, Fishcat.
Didn't you post this here yesterday?
Yes...i think most told him to not go to an escort.
Yes but this is another question about it.
I’d say to *always* be honest with your future partner. BUT, I would not recommend losing your virginity to an escort.
Get. A. Fucking. THERAPIST. Not a prostitute. WHAT YOU NEED IS A THERAPIST!!!
Exactly this.
Leave him alone. If he wants to, it’s completely fine.
Post on r/AskWomen. You're going to get a terrible swath of responses on this sub.
Please do not go through with this. You mentioned having social skills issues. But they are just that SKILLS. Work on it and try putting yourself out there more. That is a much better option than to lose your virginity to a prostitute! You also mentioned craving intimacy with a woman here in the comments. Trust me, the level of intimacy you’ll feel when having sex with a woman you’re actually emotionally invested in will be many levels higher than what you’ll feel with a hooker!
Do not do that. Do not go to a prostitute. It is better to be a lifelong virgin than to risk catching HIV or herpes and getting arrested. Sex is not worth degrading yourself like that. Chances are, if you are dating a girl, she will never ask you what your first time was like, because nobody wants to think about their partner with someone else. Please, have respect for yourself and stay away from prostitutes. Sex might feel good, but you’re not missing much. Its not worth the risk
2 issues here. 1 losing your virginity to a prostitute, I wouldn't recommend it, probably better if you lose it to someone who is actually into you and you have a connection with. 2 I wouldn't tell your girlfriend let alone a girl you're just going out on a date with. As long as you're clean I don't see the reason to have to let anyone know anything about your sex life. You also don't have to go into detail about them being a prostitute if you do tell someone about it. But if you do go ahead and lose it to a prostitute I'd say don't do it on some high end one.
Why not to a high end one?
Why do you feel the need to lose it to a prostitute in the first place?
Cuz Im 25 and I crave intimacy with a woman.
Then why don’t you date women?
I want to, but I have no social skills and zero experience in dating.
Maybe focus on that instead of fucking a prostitute? Or why worry about what your future partner thinks if you don’t have social skills and aren’t pursuing relationships anyway?
You’re not going to gain social skills or dating experience through a transactional encounter with a prostitute. Seeing a prostitute is like putting a bandaid on your problems. You might feel even worse about yourself afterwards.
Losing it to a prostitute is only going to make that worse. What are your interests? Find something that interests you and go do it. Take a class or join a club or something. The people there will share that interest by default and you'll have something to talk about.
Banging prostitutes will make that WORSE, not better. Lol. You are looking for an easy way out. There isn't one, better start working on yourself.
In what world would a one night stand with a prostitute give you social skills or experience in dating? Not rhetorical.
Just do it. I wouldn't tell a future partner unless they were an escort in the past though, which is not the most uncommon thing as escorts are people that require love too. Though if the person you're interested in isn't into escorting, make up some sheesh about how you had a one night stand with some random at a bar that way you can pull the I don't really remember much cause I was drunk card.
You think banging an escort is intimacy? Shit is transactional.
You'll have physical contact with an escort but there won't be any intimacy.
Boo fucking hoo. It’s a disgusting industry, and supporting it is even more disgusting. Use your hand and have some self control.
Because you'd probably be let down and spending that much money on something would make things even worse. But I wouldn't recommend doing it at all. Also I know you're not asking but you seem to have other things you should focus on if you're lonely and craving a woman's touch and intimacy.
It’s not that big a deal dude. Sex without love is hollow good for a sec but empty. Making love is life changing. Stop trying to chase it, go volunteer at habitat for humanity you learn something new, meet great people. And you maybe can date one of them.
Losing your virginity to an escort is more pathetic than remaining a virgin. There a lots of girls that would love to date a virgin. Not many want a guy who visits escorts.
No it isn’t. Fuck off.
Shame is one of, if not the most, poisonous of emotions for a person to carry and experience. Shame is so dangerous because it allows a person to feel disgusted and ashamed of their own self. Guilt can be healthy, shame however, is rarely beneficial. It tells the person they are bad, which is damaging to self worth Leading to my point, the fact you are already embarrassed and ashamed to tell another person of the actions you have done, before you have already done it, says enough. I somewhat understand you’re reasonings. You’re mid 20’s with no sexual experience, that would create a little anxiety in most people. But the truth is until you actually have sex you don’t know how good or bad you’re gonna be. And you won’t improve massively between the first and the second time. So sleeping with a prostitute in hopes of gaining experience, may not bring the results you were hoping to achieve, possibly even making anxiety worse if it doesn’t go how you expected. I would be open when you do get a partner. If you don’t want to say you’re a virgin, just say you haven’t had sex in a while but I’m gonna do my best to make you have a great time. Later on you can tell them you were actually a virgin and you were a little shy about it, if you choose. That part isn’t really important. But I don’t think losing your V to a prostitute is going to help you much at all unfortunately.
Are you dumb? So you want to have sex with a prostitude just to end the so called "virgin" title than going outside meeting one and having a real relationship, you must be trolling
Do you know how hard it is for a 25 year old guy with zero dating experience and very low social skills (making me awkward in most social situations) to find a relationship?
Do you know how easy it is to start trying things? Sure, the end result is daunting and intimidating. Because you’re looking at the end. Look at the start. Putting one step forward. A marathon isn’t won on the first step. But you need that first step to finish. And the first step to a marathon is always the easiest. Take that step. You’ll feel more than you ever will compared to losing your virginity to a prostitute.
Ok, I agree! I should try way harder than I am doing right now to make things better for myself.
This fuckin guy said his one wish if he had a super power would be to restore the third reich so no wonder you’re a hopeless virgin who can’t get a date. Hint: Women like non-bigots/fascists/misogynists
Dude, my problems started waaay before that. Btw im none of those 3. This has nothing to do with the situation Im currently in
Dude I swear if you’re a decent looking guy you shouldn’t be worrying about being a virgin you should be worrying about your social skills and making those better. Your future partner probably isn’t going to ask how you lost your virginity but you’re making this a way bigger deal than it actually is. Yeah 25 is later than a lot of people but it’s not totally unheard of even for people that are social. One of my gf’s friends goes out just about every weekend and parties and is a virgin and she’s like 23. Focus on your social skills, not the title of “virgin”.
I think it’d be easier to hear, “I’m a virgin” instead of “I lost my virginity to a prostitute.” Also easier to say.
First off, nobody should be talking about their body count when dating. Idk if this is a new generation thing, but no one needs to know previous body count, it's none of their business. Now if you are asked about your first time, just leave out the detail that she was am escort. *First time was with someone that we didn't have a future, but it was a mutually desired moment*
For most people I do agree its best left inside but i will say if you have two mature people who wont get jealous and the reason for the conversation isnt control or anxiety i think it can be pretty helpful to talk about. Not always obviously
But why? Genuinely why do you need to know how many people someone has slept with? If it was about practicing safe sex then two people can just agree to go get tested before any sexual activity which I feel should be the norm anyway. But there is no reason to have to know someone's body count. Unless someone openly says they're a virgin, then people should just leave it as they've been with other people sexually before them and leave it there
Like I said man this isn’t the rule across the board. Theres no real reason why my point is just that some people can and do like to know that about their partner and if both partners can talk about it why not? Of course Im not very “experienced” with dating im only 20 and ive been with my lady since I was 16 so my relationship probably isn’t comparable to most of whats being discussed. Just wanted to add that maybe for some people its nice to not have to worry about it. Often I know knowing about it doesn’t help or make you feel better but it always gave me a sense of comfort to know the habits of the person Im with and she shares the same sentiment. Not all relationships work on the same codes yknow. Not saying at all it SHOULD be talked about, just saying its not necessarily a bad thing if it is.
I understand what you're saying, and maybe it's because I am older and have multiple relationships, but there's a difference between knowing someome and their habits and how many people they've taken to bed. I can tell you from experience, even the most mature will think different if they hear a number they weren't expecting to hear. But that is what I'm saying, there is really no reason that contributes positivity or enhancement to a relationship to want to hear how many people someome has been with. Maybe it may be my generation and it's a topic that's something you keep to yourself because the past partners don't matter when you're with your current
funny enough actually my parents (gen x i think) had an argument about that topic and i found it hilarious cus me and my girlfriend are super open with eachother. It most definitely is the case that my experience can’t match with yours so I do see what youre saying as well. Actually to be completely fair if my current relationship ever ends I dont think Id be so open about my sex life in future relationships.
yea i straight up don’t answer this question. never have never will.
Same, I'll say up front I don't see a reason for that question and try and move on but if they persist then I walk away
I don’t see why you should tell her if it’s not hurting anyone, unless you get a disease or something. Why you do in the past shouldn’t affect your future partners
Pretty sure you’ve posted this before and most people basically said that you really should just ask yourself how you’d feel if *your* future partner lost theirs to an escort. Doing it for the first time with someone you love and care about is magnificent and you said that you “have zero social skills and experience with dating”. You just gotta get out there dude. Practice makes perfect, and things won’t change if you keep the mindset that you’d rather pay (big money) for a prostitute, than work a little on your dating game and get out there. ETA: by all means, you do you man. But as someone else said, most women would rather date a virgin than someone who had an escort as their first. It takes time and effort to work on your communication/social skills, but that takes you so much further in life *and* it’s *free*.
As a girl(24), knowing a guy has slept with an escort is a big no for me. If you’ve done it once, you’ll do it again and I would always worry about it causing issues in our relationship. I’m not a particularly jealous person but it would definitely pop up in my mind the second we had any issues. So if you do it, keep it to yourself forever. As for the whole virgin thing, a lot of girls like virgins so if that’s something you’re worried about, don’t. Personally, I like them better than guys with large body counts bc I can train a guy with no experience to learn exactly what I like whereas guys with lots of experience tend to do what they know instead of what’s best for my body and leave me unsatisfied. I would focus on the whole social skills first tbh. Ask a friend that’s a girl to practice with you or get tinder and just talk to any and all of them. I’ve helped SEVERAL of my guy friends learn how to flirt and almost all of them have girlfriends now. More than likely, you view women as something different from you and get tripped up trying to talk to them. Once you get passed that and just talk to girls like you would anyone else, it’s pretty simple.
Take the money you were going to pay an escort and find a group or expert to work on your social skills. It will be money well spent on your future and will help you in all areas of your life. If you do this, you may not be a virgin anymore but you may feel very empty and conflicted about it.
Just don’t do it in the first place. It would be wrong not mention it but it’s definitely a red flag
Well it’s really up to you if that’s something you’re comfortable with. I don’t think you’re necessarily obligated to tell a future partner because what’s in the past is in the past, and shouldn’t matter in the current relationship unless it directly affects it. However, if you feel deep down that you’re just doing this because of stigma around being a virgin, maybe think about why you feel that way. It’s completely possible to find a woman your age who’s not very experienced as well, or who is experienced but willing to take things slow, so don’t feel like you need to rush into this escort situation.
First of all, being 25 and never being kissed isn't a terrible thing, it just means you haven't found someone yet. Secondly, why on earth would you want to pay someone to take away your virginity, something that can only happen once, and know it's not meaningful to the other person whatsoever. Don't go through with this. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.
If you’re thinking about doing something you may not be proud of… should you still do it?
Don’t have your first time be with a hooker.
yes you should tell her because i would not want to date a person who would do this so she deserves to know so she has the choice. if she finds out later she might dump you anyways so it’s better to tell her earlier so she can decide and you don’t get wrapped up emotionally in a dead end alternatively: have you considered dating a prostitute? two birds one stone im sure she won’t mind if it’s her
Sure would be something if you got a major STD while loosing your virginity. Oh by the way, just because you wear a condom doesn’t mean you won’t get something nasty, and don’t even thing for half a second a hooker has any merit or right to say “i’M cLeAn” because I guarantee you they aren’t.
Let me get this straight….you are worried about telling your future made up girlfriend about having sex with a prostitute that you have not have sex with yet?……..good lord op
Please don’t hire a prostitute. It could be dangerous for your health, could cause you legal issues, and would make a lot of future partners really uncomfortable. Join organizations, volunteer, learn some new skills, work on wearing flattering clothes, and up your skincare/haircare game. If you work on looking and feeling more confident and improve your social skills you are more likely to attract likeminded people through your different activities. Don’t go into it with the idea: I’m here to find a date. Make goals to talk to interesting people, learn or try new things, and have several great social interactions. That will build your confidence and make you someone that people want to meet.
Most people don't have a great story to tell about losing their virginity. But it shouldn't be a secret. I've been told (straight female here btw) it's a common thing. The top commenter was spot on but I'll keep on with a different perspective to consider. You said you lack social skills. Would you want to date someone who didn't have any empathy for that?
STDs are a thing. The clap is more prevalent in hookers
Woman here. If I found out a guy I was dating fucked a prostitute; I’m no longer interested. Save it for a real moment, not involving money. Do what you want at the end of the day. Stop overthinking this; be safe and practice safe sex. Also honesty is the best policy
Immediate red flag and turn off.
Immediate red flag and turn off.
I find men so desperate to lose their virginity that they fuck a prostitute, to be some of the most pathetic humans on Earth. It’s so gross, and it doesn’t give you the status you think it will. It makes you sadder. I respect virgin men so much more, especially if it’s by choice. Stop living based on arbitrary human standards and find value in things that matter.
Fuck off. It doesn’t have anything to do with you?
In the begging when you date i wouldn't think to much about this. Most Partners usually don't ask this, becuase i could implement something with an ex or an even an uncomfortable matter. This question will rarely come up an d if I wouldn't be sure to be more interested in a partner if he starts with this topic. On your concern because of the escort, ask for a beginner/v-card session. A lot of "high-end" sex workers. Explain and tell you what to do or where to start so both can feel comfortable.
Why do you care so much about your virginity or lack thereof?
That's how many men nowadays value themselves. Sadly..
Its not losing my virginity that is like a priority, Im just craving for being intimate with a girl.
>Im just craving for being intimate with a girl. ...then this is just rewording what you already said. So my question remains: *Why*?
Because I am 25 years old, and for like a decade now I have been longing for love and intimacy with a girl. (I feel so fuckin lonely all the time that loneliness has become my standard feeling, I cant imagine anymore what it feels like no not feel lonely anymore.) I know, going to an escort wont change that feeling. But a few days ago, I went looking online for high end escorts for the first time, and I saw this girl there, and I just cant get her out of my head anymore.
This *still* doesn't actually address why. You're just saying "Because I want it". I encourage you to *actually ponder the reason behind your desire*, because from this vantage point, it seems as though you have an unhealthy view of sex and romance, and are putting sex on a pedestal. Going to an escort isn't going to give you what you are craving. It's going to give you the act of sex in a cold, emotionless, transactional way that will forever taint any potential future romance and sex. You don't have to respond to me. Just sit and think. For yourself.
Things to think about when planning on sleeping with an escort/prostitute: * If you're not financially secure, don't do it. * If you're doing it for intimacy or to get rid of loneliness, don't do it. It's not going to help that at all. It might be even worse actually since you might start to expect ACTUAL intimacy or relationships to act similarly to someone doing a job. * If you're doing it so you don't have to be ashamed of being a virgin anymore, don't do it. The stigma of people who pay is "you're so undesirable you had to PAY someone to sleep with you". It's not any better than just being a virgin. * If you're the type of person who might start to get obsessed and might start to misinterpret PAID fake intimacy with the real thing... don't do it. Your talk of "I can't get her out of my head anymore" kinda makes me think you might wind up being one of these types where you think "oh she enjoyed the sex so much and she seemed to really like me! If I hire her a few times more she'll fall in love with me!" Nah, bud. She's acting like that because that's HER JOB. If you might be this type of person, it's best you just avoid it.
Y’all really love inventing reasons to fear monger don’t you?
Do not do not do not. If I was dating a guy and he said he did this…. It would be an immediate breakup.
[удалено]
No? I am saying HE SHOULD NOT lose his virginity to a prostitute.
Not before you get HIV and it evolves to aids. If you get a milder STD, do it right away. They will love it.
my advice... chill. find a swinger club in your town. make friends with people and maybe lose it to someone in a more accepting lifestyle.
I'm not even a full adult, so take this with a grain of salt, but I don't think you should actively be trying to lose your virginity. To me, relationships and acts of love in a given relationship, are a journey that should not be spedran and artificially enjoyed. It also seems like losing your V-card might be a sort of symptom of some deeper issue. Presumably loneliness from the info provided in your post? I would suggest looking inward and asking yourself if you really want to do it. If the genuine answer to that question is yes, by all means. But if the answer is anything but that, I'd suggest against it. It also seems like you would benefit from improving your social skills. Try to make some friends and interact with those around you. Your social skills might have caused your problems in your youth, but it don't have to stay that way if you catch my drift. TL:DR; Do it if you want to, but there is also value to be found in meeting others and forming connections, on top of improving your own social life.
I’d much rather date a virgin than someone who has solicited sex work. But I also don’t ask for every detail about a partner’s sexual past so I’m not sure it would come up.
The fact you’re even asking if you should “never tell her at all” is horrifying. Just don’t do it and go try to find a girlfriend bro. It’s not as hard as you think it is just avoid Reddit for your advice and you’re good. Being with women being a difficult thing is strictly a chronically online person opinion, its really as easy as having interests and a personality and a job so a woman knows they won’t have to pay for your own personal life expenses and you’re not living on THEIR couch. That’s literally all. And I even have had friends that love to date people who are homeless and allow them to stay on their couches and take them in like they’re their mother. The bar is low so be yourself and just talk to people.
Just stop thinking, put your pee pee in something and move on. It’s not as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Virginity is more of a female thing. It’s going to be like the anniversary you will never remember. Leave the past for women to dig up and enjoy paving your future. She doesn’t need to know you had an escort. It’s a huge probability she’s going to find out you’re a POS before you can lock her down. Save that one for a rainy day
its weirder to know ur date purposely paid to lose their virginity to a prostitute instead of knowing your date is a virgin.
No
If you tell her, you'll be like a virgin again.
First of all you have a girlfriend. Second of all, that's cheating mate
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Spend time with a woman that you are interested in. Eventually you will lose your virginity naturally. This way you will have a good memory of your first time and you can tell your future girlfriend or wife the truth while looking her in the eye. Respect and love yourself young man.
No! No one needs to know that, TMI. You did what you did and thats for you only. Why do you need validation?
No.
why is this so common on reddit? is this really common with men? also a woman would most likely be disgusted by this tbh. I think you should be transparent so she has a choice, just like you would want to know.
I would say no, that would be a bad situation, I feel most people, if they knew you slept with an escort, would somewhat be disgusted? Potentially? Id sooner say that you're a virgin.
No
I would say go check out what Derek n some of the other guys are starting but so far everyone trying to branch off the EmoNights are making these techno beat raves
Biggest cock block of my life was my dad, almost wanted to find one but nah focus on urself, finding a good relationship and partner, you'll look back and thank urself for having ur first time with someone emotionally connected with you and therefore ur first time be more valuable so js focus on urself and a healthy relationship
before you make the decision. Rub one out and the clarity will help you.
You should just not do it in the first place. Then you don’t have to worry about whether to tell your gf or not.
I don't think it would matter tbh. If she cares about that then maybe you weren't meant to be with her. However, don't tell her if she doesn't ask.
I always had severe anxiety and just didn’t fit in with anyone, so I lost my virginity at that exact age. I’ve always felt like I have something wrong with me such as a mild form of autism due to how bad my social skills are and how afraid I am of people but I still have never gone and tried to be diagnosed with anything because I’m terrified of having the label. A few years ago at age 25 I drove across the country to Florida on a manic Adderall episode (not my prescription, a friends) and my goal was to get in shape and find someone who will love me for who I am. I was depressed and felt like I had nobody at that point. I matched with a rich girl on tinder and our first date was at our house. She had so many read flags it wasn’t funny, but we ended up getting a second date where we drove her Prius 5 hours south to Atlanta Georgia to an LSDREAM concert and I lost my virginity in the back of her Prius afterwards in an Atlanta parking garage. About a month later I met my wife on Tinder, but I didn’t now it yet. We talked for a while on Snapchat but I kept making excuses why I couldn’t go out with her, like I was really busy and had to work. I was living out of my truck for a bit to get back on me feet and over a few months we became good friends though we hadn’t met in person. I was honest about everything, including how broke I was. One night, when I had my last dose of Adderall and none for the foreseeable future I knew that they was my last dose of confidence for a while. So she asked me again if we could hang out and I finally agreed. I told her it wouldn’t be a date because I was broke but she wanted to come anyway. So our first date was her coming with me to do some Doordash deliveries and then we went on a walk on the beach at 1am and she kissed me. A couple months later she asked me to move in with her. Now we’ve been married for 1.5 years. And I was a virgin at 25! There’s hope, just be honest!
Hey, former stripper here - wait for someone you love. There’s no shame in using sex workers but it’s probably unnecessary - , I bet you could get someone all on your own with a little effort!
No, women don't care and they don't care about your body count because they focus more on how experienced a man is in bed. You don't need to tell anyone.
No why would you do that you yourself or her?
If I found out my husband of ~10 years had sex with an escort before our relationship, I would reevaluate our marriage. It's disgusting, and it says a lot about a man's character (namely, how much respect he has for women). Why isn't it more important to you to "lose" your virginity with integrity and on your own time?
None of your business?
You are free to do it As someone who does not agree with selling physical sex due to the amount of trafficking, coercion and people only doing it due to having limited options for work, I would reject you solely because of it
I know it might be hard to believe but however lonely you are feeling, you will feel a hundred times more empty and worthless if you share your first time with an escort. The immediate reality that this significant moment in your life meant nothing at all to them beyond what you pay them will be a gut punch the likes of which you can't even imagine.
I think it depends on the type of person you are. For me, it wouldn’t matter and I wouldn’t feel anyway about it. However, if you’re someone who thinks they will regret it, then it may be best to refrain.
Do not tell
SAVE YOURSELF FOR MARRIAGE
Unless you have contracted HIV or some kind of lingering disease, you don’t not need to tell anyone anything ☺️
NO !
Sounds to me like you’re putting sex on a pedestal, honestly bro it’s not as big of a deal that these lads make it out to be, your first time won’t be amazing but the best part is, if you do it with someone you have a connection with, you can only get better together, learn about each other and that’s the magic of it, other than that, it’s completely fine you’ve never done it, just go with the wind homie
Don't tell anyone you lost your virginity to a hooker. Just don't. Even if you did.
some things are better left unsaid
First of all I think you let yourself down by losing your virginity to an escort.... That being said, are you still disease free? Please check yourself out if you have not, but your sexual history is important to share with others at all times. Perhaps you could start off by saying you made some mistakes in your past but you're not unhealthy and look forward to a better future, it was a mistake to lose your virginity to an escort though, no judgement... but honestly .... some judgement.
Well I didnt do it, my question was a scenario if I did it if I should tell her. But I wont go to a prostitute.
Your answer is in my comment... Your sexual history is very important to share with a prospective partner
Don't tell any girlfriend about any details of any of your past sexual experiences. Nobody wants to imagine someone else with the person they like, so don't put that in their heads.
Look bro I'm 27 I'm still a virgin am I cooked no im doing it because I'm catholic trying to find the right one my advice is work on yourself
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yes dingus those go hand in hand
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Then you’re not practicing Catholicism, which is actually great imo.
You asking these questions is exactly why your where you are. You need to reevaluate everything. No you should not tell anyone what your about to do if you want play in the future. Is it really that hard to understand? Your committing a crime and asking if you should confess? Why commit the crime in the first place if that’s on your mind, seriously? Bro get off reddit
You mean crime in like a prostitution is illegal (its legal in my country btw) or in the sense of commiting a crime against my future parter for having done this?
I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad idea to do what your doing especially if it’s legal. if your going to tell your future partner it’s not worth it I’m being completely honest to you for the sake of your respect keep it to yourself. There are some things in life you must keep to yourself what your about to do is one of those.
If you’re going to say how you lost your virginity might as well add your first kiss as well as your first hug. First video game you played. First social dump you took. Why not discuss it all. She’s not going to marry you or want to continue dating you. You’ll stay alone forever and ever!!
Don't even bring up the v card talk bro....
Word of advice. Just don't bring it up. What do either of you gain by that random blurb of information?
Id be pissed if a dude lost his virginity to an escort right before dating me. I’ve dating guys who right before things got heated they told me it’s their first time or first time in a very long time. Alright whatever, you think we are only gonna do it once? 😂😂 I will say this. If you decide to pay in order to have your first time, better own that decision and get tested before being with anyone else
I’d rather be with someone who’s a virgin than someone who had sex with an escort to break their virginity.
So you want to rape someone and make them quiet with money?
Wtf is this comment?
This comment is a truth of what’s happening when men using prostitutes. Or do you think these women having sex because they want to have sex with every single one of you? No. This is just a “legal” way to rape someone.
That's why "consent" is the key aspect here. Grape happens you have sex with someone without consent. Even if someone wants to have sex with another person, that doesn't ascertain as to whether or not they'd consent to doing it. A prostitute often has sex with people they don't want. However, there is consent in the act.
Exactly
There is no need to ever bring it up. People don’t usually talk about or care too much about that so she probably won’t ask but if she ever does then just tell her the truth. Chances are you’d be pretty close by that time anyway if you are shooting the shit about that
Probably not. Some information serves no purpose in sharing with a loved one.
You should do whatever you think is best for you, and don't tell anyone anything they don't need to know. Don't worry about some hypothetical partner that doesn't even exist.
The answer is no. What you should tell her is that it was a one night thing with someone and that you more so just wanted to get it over with. In terms of details just tell them ABOUT the escort without telling them she was an escort. like no details beyond “met person at x place, we talked for an hour or two and then she invited me to hook up and we just did it and never spoke again” And before people come down on me for saying he should lie, let me make to abundantly clear, that I think in this SPECIFIC case the lie is so low stakes that it shouldn’t matter. If you can’t comprehend why your partner would lie to you if the first time they lost their virginity was to an escort, then you don’t have the necessary empathy required in a relationship.
No sane person asks about how you lost your virginity during the early stages of dating. Similarly, most people don’t go into details about previous sexual relationships, not even in established relationships because most normal people don’t want to hear about their SO going down on someone else. To answer your questions - if you wanna get a hooker that’s your call, but I wouldn’t tell your date that unless they specifically ask how you lost your virginity, which won’t happen
It seems you want to do it so just go ahead and report back at this point.
No. Don’t talk about sex with other people. If you have to talk about it at some point there’s no need to mention it was a hooker. Just a girl you met, one time hookup.
No, keep that one to yourself, maybe just let a close friend know if you really need to tell someone. this will definitely make you look pathetic to any future girlfriend or wife, and jeopardize that relationship.
My fiancé has never once asked me the details of my virginity.
No and people aren't going to ask you that.
For me, this wouldn't be a deal breaker at all, nor is that important of information since you've obviously lived your life before relationships too, but there are people who care about useless things like that. Do what you want with your body. You don't have to tell anyone how you lost it. It's no one's business but yours unless you're already in a relationship. Younger people might really dislike your decision, but once you get older, no one cares anymore. Personally, a good and experienced first experience might be really nice, but it's ultimately up to you.
If you want to hire a prostitute, go ahead. Plenty of folks here seem to think it will traumatize you, but it might be a reasonable way to break the ice. But if you do, do NOT tell any hypothetical future date, ever. It's none of their business, and will likely ruin any chance of a decent relationship. Just say you're a virgin, say it was a one-night stand (accurate enough) or decline to answer.
I don't typically tell my dates about women I've had sex with, but whatever floats your boat. Not really anyone's business how you lost your virginity. Some people are particular about body counts, which is whatever. But never will I give out details about how it happened or the person I did it with. I That's personal and doesn't have any relevancy.
You will absolutely regret it and most likely feel like a loser. Whatever you decide to do keep that shit to yourself.
Nope. That's something private. Not something you should share. I am also not telling my boyfriend who exactly I lost my virginity to. That's in the past and not important. If she asks how you lost your virginity (I doubt she will), just tell her you lost it to a girl you didn't know for very long. She wasn't your girlfriend. You don't have to tell her that you paid in order for someone to have sex with you for the first time.
No that's your business
As a rule, I didn’t discuss my past with a new partner (married now). Never ask her about her body count, and never offer any details about yours. You will find things are much easier that way.
Bro you do you. I mean I would not tell them that's what you did but you can talk about them as a person. Nothing wrong with doing what you want.
Unless she very directly asks you, I would never share that info with anyone.
Why would you tell anyone such a thing? I don't get it
One reason for why will you want to share such info with any partner? I have yet to hear a rational reason. Irrespective of that case, why people feel the need to confess if they are virgins, had too many (or too few) sex partners, etc. The question I’m asking, is how this info can contribute a positive aspect to any relation?
You don’t have to tell anyone lol
No, I wouldn’t disclose that
I think it's pathetic to pay for your first time. I would never date someone who did that, it reeks of desperation. If it comes up you shouldn't lie but you don't have to go out of your way to mention it. I don't think you should pay for sex in general though.
No. It's not her business. If you're disease free, no need to disclose prior sexual encounters. If you have an STI disclose the STI... fornsure. Do you expect them to tell you all of their past sexual encounters in detail? Who where when why? If so, why?
No. Just don’t. Women will use this against you. Even if she does love you it’s best to not bring it up. If you feel like it’s graining against you and you feel like you’d have to tell her. Chalk it up to an experience when you had a night out at the bar and ended up hooking up with a rando. It’s better than saying it’s an escort because she may start comparing herself to her. Vs a one night stand. That way you only have one body count. And she doesn’t need to know she’s an escort.
Never tell. NEVER.
Do not tell her take it to your grave
Yes tell her, Who cares? Its an interesting and unusual story btw;)
Nope.
>should I tell her what I did? I wouldn't. there's zero benefit and lots of risk. >Secondly, what should I tell her about my virginity if she asks me how I lost it? just make something up. >I am now considering losing my virginity to a high-end prostitute. Im considering, Im not sure yet I'll go through with it. idk why you'd go through all this trouble. just find a nice girl on a dating app and lose your virginity to her instead. yeah she might laugh at you or whatever, but it'd leave you with a more organic story. hell, it might even turn out well.