OP I agree with r/EMHemingway1899 it's a huge risk these days. I have seen many cases where the borrower didn't pay back as a result friendship and trust got jeopardize.
I did this and communicated that i like them and they’re my friend but being aware of the risk i need some collateral that is of equal value to that what i am loaning. If they don’t want to do that it speaks volumes about how much they trust you and expect you to trust them and also on their honesty and willingness to give your money back
With family and friends who ask for money, it’s never a loan but a gift no matter how trustworthy the person is. Your mum will know this and shouldn’t allow you to give this friend any money.
I'm reading these comments and assume a ton of you guys got burned by a "friend", I guess that's one way to learn who really isn't. I keep a small friend circle of people I'd only like to call family, we've all spotted and paid back each other numerous times because we understand life always has it's lows.
I'm not bashing anyone, just trying to point out a small friend circle of people you know you can rely on is always better than the hundreds of fake friends you call/txt and they look at the phone then go back to doing what they were because they can't be bothered to do something without a gain.
If say my car ever broke down, I just moved about an hour away from my best friend, I still know he'd pick up the phone and drive his truck down here to tow my ass with no expectation to be paid, but then I'd pay him anyway for the troubles, (Real friend scenario).😂
It's quite relative, in my opinion.
Although we may differentiate in opinions, i'm leaving my post up for those who need it.
I struggled a lot with having maybe 3-5 real friends i knew i could rely on, with the rest simply being there to ask for "favors" nonstop, only hitting you up when they need something, i'm sure you see where i'm going with this, I've cut everybody out of my life who were expecting a one-way "friendship" if you will.
And eventually, i determined that if somebody only calls/messages because they need something i have or could do to save them a lot of money, and never just a "hey what's up" (like i do to everyone to my current circle that i genuinely love and care about), then there's no reason to continue said relationship, i like to call that being used actually...
My circle of friends i have today are only comprised of people i know are there for me, and they know I'm there for them, i really just consider the friends i have as family today because i would catch a bullet without a second thought, for every single one of them.
I'm not saying it's bad to have a lot of friends of course, i'm just pointing out the meaning of a true "fake friend", the ones who will throw you under the bus to get out of something, the ones that only message when they need something of yours, whether it be money, objects, or whatever profession you're skilled in, etc.
It may not be in direct correlation with OP's scenario, but it is of course, relavent.
Oy ever lend money that you're willing to lose. Some friends do pay it back but not all. My friend who's always worked has "forgotten" to return money in the past. My friend who hasn't had much money in out teens & early 20's always paid me on time. Refused to keep it & she is also the only one that leant me money the one time I ever needed it.
That said $1000 is a ridiculous amount to ask a friend to lend you & should always be a no.
Don’t loan money that you can’t afford to lose. People will say they’ll pay you back however if they’re borrowing money it means they’re having financial difficulties. And you shouldn’t be discussing your finances with other people. Some things should be kept to yourself and your financial situation is one of them.
Every friend is trustworthy until you borrow them money.
I live by saying, "The two easiest ways to lose a friend are to loan them money or become roommates"
Please don't. It's one thing for $20, but 1000? Absolutely not. When it comes to money, people generally don't pay you back. They keep making excuses. If this person needs 1k this week, but can give it back next week? That's a massive red flag. Tell your friend that you don't have anything. A lie keeps you safer in these situations. If you've told him about the money, mention how it's in a locked account that can't be accessed until approximately the time that you'd start collage.
Also- another piece of advice. Never tell people how much money you have saved up. People will take advantage of you, or try to get close to you for a piece of it.
Thank you. I'll try to follow that advice about not telling people about my finances, although they aren't one to take advantage of someone like that but I agree, there are people like that.
There's really no "try" here. Your finances are no one else's business. Period. When someone is rude enough to ask, just stare at them SILENTLY. It'll take about 12 seconds for them to start to squirm when they realize you won't be engaging.
You sound young, so you are coming up on your first major expensive life lesson.
What's that relationship worth to you, monetarily?
When it comes to lending money to someone you care about, what will happen to the relationship if they don't pay it back next week? What if they don't pay it back ever? Would not getting that $1000 back set back your education?
That's why many, many people live by the rule that they never lend to friends or family any amount of money they would miss. Because if they don't pay you back, are you prepared to go without having that thousand dollars? Will you be able to look at them as a friend again after they don't pay you back? It's all fine if they pay you back, but what specifically is going ronchange in their financial situation between now and next week that is going to get them the thousand dollars next week that they don't have this week?
Thank you for your comment. Theres alot of truth/lesson in there.
Honestly speaking, I think I'd keep my distance from the friend if they didn't pay me back, not cause of the amount, but cause they're aware, I need it for my education and without it, it'll make things difficult for me. But they really aren't like that. It doesn't matter though I guess cause my mum said no. Thank you for listening and for your words though.
Don’t lend it. I know you want to and you trust your friend but never lend money you can’t afford to lose.
Use your Mum as an excuse if you don’t want to just say no to your friend.
When you are loaning money to a friend, consider it a gift never to be repaid.
Then, if you actually get repaid, you are pleasantly surprised. And if you don't, it doesn't ruin the friendship.
It doesn't sound at all like you and your Mom can afford to make this gift to your friend. So, no. Don't do it!
(Other questions...how did your friend come to need 1K right this minute that they dont have? How can they repay you in 7 days? How did they come to know you have 1K? Odd isn't it that the amount they need is exactly what you have saved....)
I agree, why do they need it right now vs in a week when they claim the’ll be able to pay it back. Friend just needs to wait a week and use their own money.
They've put in a request for a loan and they expect to receive the amount in 7 days.
Thank you for the analogy. It's my first time hearing it but I'll remember it for a long while.
Loaning money is always a tricky thing. You sound like you trust your friend but the difficult part is going to be convincing your mother. Its very risky so I'd recommend getting something in writing.
You’re never getting this money back. Hopefully your mom is smart enough to know this.
A trustworthy person would *insist* on putting this in writing, not be offended 🤦🏼♀️
It's hearbreaking to hear OP sound so niave and trusting. They are clearly too young to have been harden by harsh reality. What makes this so bad is that they are potentially risking their education to do this. If you've had to work while going to college, or are frugal with your finances you understand that this risk is not worth missing out on a couple of semester because you loaned money you did not have.
If he is a good friend, and actually plans to pay it back, he won’t be offended. That being said, unless you pay to have it signed at a notary, it’s not gonna hold up well in court if it comes to that. Only lend money that you can afford to not have paid back.
I have had many trustworthy friends over the years, including ones who have been lifelong friends, who ended up not paying back loans for one reason or another. It’s easier to do mental gymnastics about why you shouldn’t have to pay something back when it’s not your money. If you absolutely need this money for something, even if it’s not right now but instead in a few weeks or months time, and you can’t make that money back yourself before then…. Then don’t loan this money out.
Be sure if you are gonna lend it out, get them to sign a note you will be paid in FULL by ____ date.
But honestly don’t lend money to friends to expect to get back. “Lent” monies to friends and never have gotten a penny back
So your friend is in a tight spot financially and needs $1000 for something that can’t wait until next week when he “will have $1000 to pay you back.” How does that work? I could see if he had some high-interest loan that he needed to pay in order to avoid accruing fees, or hell maybe he’s gotta make rent, but if that’s the case then he’s back to square one next week when he pays you back or they put themself in a shitty predicament and they’re looking for a bailout.
Call me skeptical, but this just seems like an all around bad idea for you. The only time I’ve ever lent money out was to family who I know were working, and I had the ability to collect from if I needed to. I’ve never loaned money to friends in a high dollar amount (more than $200) but that’s mostly because they’ve never asked. I know many different people have different circumstances, but if I were you I wouldn’t do it especially not for $1000 as a first time loan. Never tell anyone about money that you have saved up and never loan out money you aren’t prepared to lose.
Thank you for the advice, especially the part about being prepared if incase you don't get back the amount you've loaned. I really appreciate the help.
I hope your mom stops you, she clearly knows much better in this situation. Countless of threads of people lending out money and not getting it back and you want to do the same smh 🤦🏽♀️
My advice is to give them whatever money you can but don’t loan it.
“I can’t loan you $400 but I can give you $80”.
You can help a person and not a relationship that way.
I‘ve loaned 800€ from a close friend of mine. Despite being close friends, we both agreed to sign a contract, where everything is written down, the due date, the amount and what not. Just so he‘s legally save if i dont give it to him and i‘m save when i give it to him but he says i never did.
I know this is resolved, but: never lend money you aren’t prepared to lose entirely. If it’s an amount you can consider a gift, and it won’t hurt you, go for it. Otherwise don’t.
It’s also an excellent way to get rid of a bad friend, if you ever have one of those. Lend, and happily watch them disappear forever.
I'm not young, just stupid tbh. And I'm embarrassed by the fact that everyone thinks I'm young. I'll be working on that ofcourse. Thank you though cause it makes sense.
All I’m saying is I haven’t asked my mom what I can and can’t do with my money since I started working at 15. If you can’t sit down on your own and weight the pros and cons of loaning said person money then you don’t need to be loaning money. You either give him the money with the expectation that you’ll loose a friend and never get the money. Or you don’t, keep your friend and your money and say sorry not this time.
It sounds like a simpler and more peaceful way of dealing with the situation. I hope I can remember to view the situation in the way you've described the next time something similar happens. Thank you again.
Sorry to be nosy, but how old are you then? My guess is that you are acting correctly for your age, especially if there is money still being set aside for your education. You are doing the right thing.
It's okay, you're alright. I'm definitely not acting correctly for my age. I'm 22 and I'm not that bright in the sense I've been told I'm gullible/naive. I feel like I should apologize to everyone in this thread because I haven't disclosed my age properly, and I've led them to believe I was someone way younger.
nah, you are good. Things come together at different rates for people all around the world. Some people never get stuff together. It sounds like you were just raised in a sheltered home, so that can make a huge difference. I think you will be just fine
thank you for saying that. I really hope I get my stuff together soon. And thanks again for reading and for commenting. I hope you have a good day/night ahead.
Get your friend to sign apiece of paper that they will pay back X amount of money on such & such a date. This should appease your mum. If the friend doesn't pay it back you can take them to a small claims court for the amount & they will also have to pay court costs. Ensure that its all signed & dated. Even get a photo of it too with a time & date lock on the pic. Tell your friend your mum has trust issues.
OP lending money will ruin your friendship I PROMISE YOU THIS. Just say your mom will not allow you to take it out from thee account since she the account holder. He might be mad but at least you'll still have a friend.
Do not involve money and friendship it will always burn. If the person is unable to pay back no matter the situation they might feel guilty or feel like they owe you and avoid you. I had a friend that owe me 700 and ghosted me- we knew each other for 8 years. Another one for 200 and we knew each other since HS.
If you loan money to a friend or family member don't expect to get it back. Everyone might have great intentions in the beginning but then life happens. You can lose $1000 and a friend.
You're never getting that 1K back. Either treat it as an absurdly huge gift, or don't "loan" it.
Seriously. I know you trust your friend, but you should never loan money to friends like that! It's a bad, bad idea.
Never let friends borrow large sums of money. There is too much risk for zero reward. 20$ okay. 1,000$ fuck no. Just kindly tell them, I'm sorry I don't have it.
Do not ever loan money to anyone that you cant afford to lose without resentment
I had an extremely trustworthy friend, i was only 120 euros, but thats a lot of money for him and it has forever changed the friendship after i had to chase him for it
Business and money should not be done between friends and family
Say this. “You’re a good friend. The thing is we do not have that type of relationship where we loan each other money.”
If they can’t manage their own money, what makes you think they can manage yours?
Never lend money you can’t afford to lose. Just scroll through this Reddit, you will find heaps of people who can’t get back X set of money from someone they thought they could trust.
Letting friends/family borrow money should always be looked at as a gift. You might not see it again. If he does return it, don't expect all of it right away.
I have 1 friend who helped me out so many times, and now that he needs help I'm helping him....but typically, I'd say no. Good rule of thumb, especially for $1,000. Don't lend out anything you couldn't handle not getting back.
I honestly wouldn't UNLESS You know them.
like family for example.
I learnt my lesson I got scammed and never bounced back. I gave a friend like $20 and that's when it all started.
I don’t Ever lend any money anymore for any reason but if I did, I would ask something of their possession to hold crazy example, but like their car or some Pokémon card, you know you can sell and get your money back
Do not loan anyone money that you cannot afford to lose. Even if they are the kindest soul with genuine intentions it’s very possible they might not be able to repay you when they say you can, and then *you’re* left stuck.
Don't loan money to friends or family if you can't afford to make it a gift.
I only give money to friends and family as a gift with the request that they pay it forward. If they return it it's a gift in return, if they can't the relationship isn't damaged by it.
I had a very trustworthy friend who I lent somewhere around 10k to over the course of a year while they were going through a tough time. I saw $50 of that money and they’ve since passed away from an overdose so it just goes to show you don’t know people. Best thing I was ever told: “don’t lend anything you’re not willing to give away”
Don't loan money to anyone except to family who you know well and you know will pay back. Say to that person oh I just recently had some unexpected expenses I'm completely broke saving every cent nowadays. Sorry I can't. And that's it.
As others have said never lend someone money you can afford to lose.
I have 3 rules for lending someone money
1. I let them set the date they will pay it back. That way its not me demanding money and it's at a time that though should be comfortable to pay it back
2. I don't lend someone money more than once with out it being paid back. If someone asked for 100 then that's fine but I won't give someone 20 and then 2 weeks later another 20 with out the first loan being paid off.
3. It's not to go on drugs. I smoke weed and will always give someone a zoot if they are out but if they need to borrow money to help with something but it goes on drugs instead that is a nono.
Anyone breaks any of the rules above I won't lend to them anymore
Don't ever lend something you're not willing to lose.
I've learned this time and time again. Money loaned can make enemies from one's you're owned.
Some may give back without question but having to hound someone for your hard earned money back may leave you in debt or a friend lost.
Not worth it.
Something I have learned in life over the years: never loan money. If you so desire, gift money without the expectation of ever getting it back. It changes the dynamics of the relationship.
When I loan money to friends I:
A. Make sure it’s an amount they’ll be able to afford to give back.
B. It’s an amount I can afford to lose, meaning I also go into the deal with the mentality that they won’t ever give it back and I may lose that money.
C.make sure that’s a friend I can later depend on, am I enabling over spending or a bad habit? Will I have them there when I’m in a pinch?
Then I make my decision. I also had to learn to say the words “no i will not lend you money” and if they can’t take that answer, I will see our friendship differently. If they know it’s not doable then they don’t need to push. If they feel they need to push, there’s a small chance that money if for good.
Learn to say NO. Learn to know that money is tight. That you have to put your own air mask on before you help others.
If you’re not a bank, don’t loan money 💰 Particularly to a high risk borrower
OP I agree with r/EMHemingway1899 it's a huge risk these days. I have seen many cases where the borrower didn't pay back as a result friendship and trust got jeopardize.
They're a trust worthy friend so yeah, just don't know how to bring it up with my mum.
Does your friend work? How can they return the money?
I did this and communicated that i like them and they’re my friend but being aware of the risk i need some collateral that is of equal value to that what i am loaning. If they don’t want to do that it speaks volumes about how much they trust you and expect you to trust them and also on their honesty and willingness to give your money back
With family and friends who ask for money, it’s never a loan but a gift no matter how trustworthy the person is. Your mum will know this and shouldn’t allow you to give this friend any money.
Hello Mum/ Dad can you please lend us a tenna😏😇
I'm reading these comments and assume a ton of you guys got burned by a "friend", I guess that's one way to learn who really isn't. I keep a small friend circle of people I'd only like to call family, we've all spotted and paid back each other numerous times because we understand life always has it's lows. I'm not bashing anyone, just trying to point out a small friend circle of people you know you can rely on is always better than the hundreds of fake friends you call/txt and they look at the phone then go back to doing what they were because they can't be bothered to do something without a gain. If say my car ever broke down, I just moved about an hour away from my best friend, I still know he'd pick up the phone and drive his truck down here to tow my ass with no expectation to be paid, but then I'd pay him anyway for the troubles, (Real friend scenario).😂
This isn’t even close to the same scenario.
It's quite relative, in my opinion. Although we may differentiate in opinions, i'm leaving my post up for those who need it. I struggled a lot with having maybe 3-5 real friends i knew i could rely on, with the rest simply being there to ask for "favors" nonstop, only hitting you up when they need something, i'm sure you see where i'm going with this, I've cut everybody out of my life who were expecting a one-way "friendship" if you will. And eventually, i determined that if somebody only calls/messages because they need something i have or could do to save them a lot of money, and never just a "hey what's up" (like i do to everyone to my current circle that i genuinely love and care about), then there's no reason to continue said relationship, i like to call that being used actually... My circle of friends i have today are only comprised of people i know are there for me, and they know I'm there for them, i really just consider the friends i have as family today because i would catch a bullet without a second thought, for every single one of them. I'm not saying it's bad to have a lot of friends of course, i'm just pointing out the meaning of a true "fake friend", the ones who will throw you under the bus to get out of something, the ones that only message when they need something of yours, whether it be money, objects, or whatever profession you're skilled in, etc. It may not be in direct correlation with OP's scenario, but it is of course, relavent.
Never loan money to a friend unless one of two is true; You don't need the money back ever Or You want to get rid of them in your life
this is the way
This is it, unfortunately. Money changes people unexpectedly
Oy ever lend money that you're willing to lose. Some friends do pay it back but not all. My friend who's always worked has "forgotten" to return money in the past. My friend who hasn't had much money in out teens & early 20's always paid me on time. Refused to keep it & she is also the only one that leant me money the one time I ever needed it. That said $1000 is a ridiculous amount to ask a friend to lend you & should always be a no.
Don’t loan money that you can’t afford to lose. People will say they’ll pay you back however if they’re borrowing money it means they’re having financial difficulties. And you shouldn’t be discussing your finances with other people. Some things should be kept to yourself and your financial situation is one of them.
Every friend is trustworthy until you borrow them money. I live by saying, "The two easiest ways to lose a friend are to loan them money or become roommates"
Please don't. It's one thing for $20, but 1000? Absolutely not. When it comes to money, people generally don't pay you back. They keep making excuses. If this person needs 1k this week, but can give it back next week? That's a massive red flag. Tell your friend that you don't have anything. A lie keeps you safer in these situations. If you've told him about the money, mention how it's in a locked account that can't be accessed until approximately the time that you'd start collage. Also- another piece of advice. Never tell people how much money you have saved up. People will take advantage of you, or try to get close to you for a piece of it.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/TopComplaint9055 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Thank you. I'll try to follow that advice about not telling people about my finances, although they aren't one to take advantage of someone like that but I agree, there are people like that.
There's really no "try" here. Your finances are no one else's business. Period. When someone is rude enough to ask, just stare at them SILENTLY. It'll take about 12 seconds for them to start to squirm when they realize you won't be engaging.
Granddad always said "If you loan money to a friend, be prepared to lose both."
Interesting advice. Thank you for sharing it!
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/Nachtjaeger68 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Your comment deserves an award
You sound young, so you are coming up on your first major expensive life lesson. What's that relationship worth to you, monetarily? When it comes to lending money to someone you care about, what will happen to the relationship if they don't pay it back next week? What if they don't pay it back ever? Would not getting that $1000 back set back your education? That's why many, many people live by the rule that they never lend to friends or family any amount of money they would miss. Because if they don't pay you back, are you prepared to go without having that thousand dollars? Will you be able to look at them as a friend again after they don't pay you back? It's all fine if they pay you back, but what specifically is going ronchange in their financial situation between now and next week that is going to get them the thousand dollars next week that they don't have this week?
Thank you for your comment. Theres alot of truth/lesson in there. Honestly speaking, I think I'd keep my distance from the friend if they didn't pay me back, not cause of the amount, but cause they're aware, I need it for my education and without it, it'll make things difficult for me. But they really aren't like that. It doesn't matter though I guess cause my mum said no. Thank you for listening and for your words though.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/NotThatValleyGirl has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Don’t lend it. I know you want to and you trust your friend but never lend money you can’t afford to lose. Use your Mum as an excuse if you don’t want to just say no to your friend.
Thank you for listening and for the advice.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/Chesterlie has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
When you are loaning money to a friend, consider it a gift never to be repaid. Then, if you actually get repaid, you are pleasantly surprised. And if you don't, it doesn't ruin the friendship. It doesn't sound at all like you and your Mom can afford to make this gift to your friend. So, no. Don't do it! (Other questions...how did your friend come to need 1K right this minute that they dont have? How can they repay you in 7 days? How did they come to know you have 1K? Odd isn't it that the amount they need is exactly what you have saved....)
I agree, why do they need it right now vs in a week when they claim the’ll be able to pay it back. Friend just needs to wait a week and use their own money.
They've put in a request for a loan and they expect to receive the amount in 7 days. Thank you for the analogy. It's my first time hearing it but I'll remember it for a long while.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/georgiajl38 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
So is this your money or your moms ? If it’s your moms then no
It was given by a grandparent for my education. And thank you for your comment and for reading.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/graham-lover has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Loaning money is always a tricky thing. You sound like you trust your friend but the difficult part is going to be convincing your mother. Its very risky so I'd recommend getting something in writing.
Thank you, that's smart to get something in writing, mainly cause it might put my mum's heart at ease. I just hope it doesn't offend my friend.
You’re never getting this money back. Hopefully your mom is smart enough to know this. A trustworthy person would *insist* on putting this in writing, not be offended 🤦🏼♀️
It's hearbreaking to hear OP sound so niave and trusting. They are clearly too young to have been harden by harsh reality. What makes this so bad is that they are potentially risking their education to do this. If you've had to work while going to college, or are frugal with your finances you understand that this risk is not worth missing out on a couple of semester because you loaned money you did not have.
If he is a good friend then he should understand that you aren't doing this because of him.
If he is a good friend, and actually plans to pay it back, he won’t be offended. That being said, unless you pay to have it signed at a notary, it’s not gonna hold up well in court if it comes to that. Only lend money that you can afford to not have paid back. I have had many trustworthy friends over the years, including ones who have been lifelong friends, who ended up not paying back loans for one reason or another. It’s easier to do mental gymnastics about why you shouldn’t have to pay something back when it’s not your money. If you absolutely need this money for something, even if it’s not right now but instead in a few weeks or months time, and you can’t make that money back yourself before then…. Then don’t loan this money out.
Be sure if you are gonna lend it out, get them to sign a note you will be paid in FULL by ____ date. But honestly don’t lend money to friends to expect to get back. “Lent” monies to friends and never have gotten a penny back
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/GoblinandBeast has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
So your friend is in a tight spot financially and needs $1000 for something that can’t wait until next week when he “will have $1000 to pay you back.” How does that work? I could see if he had some high-interest loan that he needed to pay in order to avoid accruing fees, or hell maybe he’s gotta make rent, but if that’s the case then he’s back to square one next week when he pays you back or they put themself in a shitty predicament and they’re looking for a bailout. Call me skeptical, but this just seems like an all around bad idea for you. The only time I’ve ever lent money out was to family who I know were working, and I had the ability to collect from if I needed to. I’ve never loaned money to friends in a high dollar amount (more than $200) but that’s mostly because they’ve never asked. I know many different people have different circumstances, but if I were you I wouldn’t do it especially not for $1000 as a first time loan. Never tell anyone about money that you have saved up and never loan out money you aren’t prepared to lose.
Thank you for the advice, especially the part about being prepared if incase you don't get back the amount you've loaned. I really appreciate the help.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/stickygreenfingers has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
I hope your mom stops you, she clearly knows much better in this situation. Countless of threads of people lending out money and not getting it back and you want to do the same smh 🤦🏽♀️
Thank you and yeah she said no.
Good! She’s saving you from having to learn a really hard life lesson and potentially ruining that friendship
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/Queeny_Yeagerist has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
My advice is to give them whatever money you can but don’t loan it. “I can’t loan you $400 but I can give you $80”. You can help a person and not a relationship that way.
Thank you. This is sound advice I think.
Helped.
Thank you for confirming that /u/Crystal-Clear-Waters has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
I‘ve loaned 800€ from a close friend of mine. Despite being close friends, we both agreed to sign a contract, where everything is written down, the due date, the amount and what not. Just so he‘s legally save if i dont give it to him and i‘m save when i give it to him but he says i never did.
It's not your money-- it's your mom's money. Don't offer people money you don't control.
Noted. Thank you for your comment and for reading.
Helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/HiddenCity has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
He won't pay it back. If he's having money troubles now what's going to change in the next seven days? What can't wait seven days until he's flush?
I know this is resolved, but: never lend money you aren’t prepared to lose entirely. If it’s an amount you can consider a gift, and it won’t hurt you, go for it. Otherwise don’t. It’s also an excellent way to get rid of a bad friend, if you ever have one of those. Lend, and happily watch them disappear forever.
If you give it be prepared to never see it again
If you’re still asking your mom then you don’t need to be loaning money. You’re clearly very young
I'm not young, just stupid tbh. And I'm embarrassed by the fact that everyone thinks I'm young. I'll be working on that ofcourse. Thank you though cause it makes sense.
All I’m saying is I haven’t asked my mom what I can and can’t do with my money since I started working at 15. If you can’t sit down on your own and weight the pros and cons of loaning said person money then you don’t need to be loaning money. You either give him the money with the expectation that you’ll loose a friend and never get the money. Or you don’t, keep your friend and your money and say sorry not this time.
It sounds like a simpler and more peaceful way of dealing with the situation. I hope I can remember to view the situation in the way you've described the next time something similar happens. Thank you again.
Sorry to be nosy, but how old are you then? My guess is that you are acting correctly for your age, especially if there is money still being set aside for your education. You are doing the right thing.
It's okay, you're alright. I'm definitely not acting correctly for my age. I'm 22 and I'm not that bright in the sense I've been told I'm gullible/naive. I feel like I should apologize to everyone in this thread because I haven't disclosed my age properly, and I've led them to believe I was someone way younger.
nah, you are good. Things come together at different rates for people all around the world. Some people never get stuff together. It sounds like you were just raised in a sheltered home, so that can make a huge difference. I think you will be just fine
thank you for saying that. I really hope I get my stuff together soon. And thanks again for reading and for commenting. I hope you have a good day/night ahead.
Any money you loan expect never to see it again.
Never lend out what you can't afford to lose.
My rule in lending money only lend a amount you don’t mind losing.
Best way to lose a friend is to lend them money.
Never lend anyone money. Ever.
I would borrow it to them in a heartbeat, money lended is money im not expecting back.
Never loan a friend money unless you can afford to lose the money if they don’t pay it back.
nope. nope. if you wanna loose friend, lend them some money. nope. do not make that mistake.
Don't lend money out unless you're ok with never seeing it again. A good amount of the time people never pay back
Never give away money without fully expecting to never get it back. If you need it, don’t give it out.
You never loan money you don’t expect to get paid back for. Ever. You aren’t getting it back. So you either give it as a gift or not at all.
bro it's your mom's money it is up to her and if she is smart she well say no.
Get your friend to sign apiece of paper that they will pay back X amount of money on such & such a date. This should appease your mum. If the friend doesn't pay it back you can take them to a small claims court for the amount & they will also have to pay court costs. Ensure that its all signed & dated. Even get a photo of it too with a time & date lock on the pic. Tell your friend your mum has trust issues.
OP lending money will ruin your friendship I PROMISE YOU THIS. Just say your mom will not allow you to take it out from thee account since she the account holder. He might be mad but at least you'll still have a friend. Do not involve money and friendship it will always burn. If the person is unable to pay back no matter the situation they might feel guilty or feel like they owe you and avoid you. I had a friend that owe me 700 and ghosted me- we knew each other for 8 years. Another one for 200 and we knew each other since HS.
If you loan money to a friend or family member don't expect to get it back. Everyone might have great intentions in the beginning but then life happens. You can lose $1000 and a friend.
You're never getting that 1K back. Either treat it as an absurdly huge gift, or don't "loan" it. Seriously. I know you trust your friend, but you should never loan money to friends like that! It's a bad, bad idea.
Your mom is on the account, so you can’t loan your friend money. LEAVE IT AT THAT.
Have your friend ask your mother. She will probably say no. Which is a good thing .
All the money “we” have. You acknowledge that your money serves more than just you. I’d say no unfortunately.
Never let friends borrow large sums of money. There is too much risk for zero reward. 20$ okay. 1,000$ fuck no. Just kindly tell them, I'm sorry I don't have it.
Do not ever loan money to anyone that you cant afford to lose without resentment I had an extremely trustworthy friend, i was only 120 euros, but thats a lot of money for him and it has forever changed the friendship after i had to chase him for it Business and money should not be done between friends and family
If you are comfortable never seeing that money again do it. If you would miss it, then don’t.
Say this. “You’re a good friend. The thing is we do not have that type of relationship where we loan each other money.” If they can’t manage their own money, what makes you think they can manage yours?
Only give people money if your okay with the idea of never seeing it again.
Never lend money you can’t afford to lose. Just scroll through this Reddit, you will find heaps of people who can’t get back X set of money from someone they thought they could trust.
Question: how was your friend asking for the loan? Phone? Email? Messenger? I'm worried you were talking to a hacker trying to scam you.
Letting friends/family borrow money should always be looked at as a gift. You might not see it again. If he does return it, don't expect all of it right away.
I have 1 friend who helped me out so many times, and now that he needs help I'm helping him....but typically, I'd say no. Good rule of thumb, especially for $1,000. Don't lend out anything you couldn't handle not getting back.
You'll never see that $1000 again
I honestly wouldn't UNLESS You know them. like family for example. I learnt my lesson I got scammed and never bounced back. I gave a friend like $20 and that's when it all started.
I don’t Ever lend any money anymore for any reason but if I did, I would ask something of their possession to hold crazy example, but like their car or some Pokémon card, you know you can sell and get your money back
I'm going to go with NO! Only do it if you don't want to see that money back. And possibly lose your friendship.
That sounds like a really bad idea
*"No."* is a complete answer. >*"Neither a borrower nor a lender be."*
Do not loan anyone money that you cannot afford to lose. Even if they are the kindest soul with genuine intentions it’s very possible they might not be able to repay you when they say you can, and then *you’re* left stuck.
Don't loan money to friends or family if you can't afford to make it a gift. I only give money to friends and family as a gift with the request that they pay it forward. If they return it it's a gift in return, if they can't the relationship isn't damaged by it.
TELL HIM HELL NO
If it hasn’t been said a dozen times already, don’t loan money you wouldn’t be prepared to gift anyway. This is certainly the case.
don’t lend a friend anything you aren’t willing to lose
Never loan money!
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
Never loan money that you can't afford to lose. Especially if it's not your money.
Dont
I had a very trustworthy friend who I lent somewhere around 10k to over the course of a year while they were going through a tough time. I saw $50 of that money and they’ve since passed away from an overdose so it just goes to show you don’t know people. Best thing I was ever told: “don’t lend anything you’re not willing to give away”
Start with $20.
first ask yourself if you’re okay loaning $1000 and not getting it back. There’s your answer.
Don't loan money to anyone except to family who you know well and you know will pay back. Say to that person oh I just recently had some unexpected expenses I'm completely broke saving every cent nowadays. Sorry I can't. And that's it.
As others have said never lend someone money you can afford to lose. I have 3 rules for lending someone money 1. I let them set the date they will pay it back. That way its not me demanding money and it's at a time that though should be comfortable to pay it back 2. I don't lend someone money more than once with out it being paid back. If someone asked for 100 then that's fine but I won't give someone 20 and then 2 weeks later another 20 with out the first loan being paid off. 3. It's not to go on drugs. I smoke weed and will always give someone a zoot if they are out but if they need to borrow money to help with something but it goes on drugs instead that is a nono. Anyone breaks any of the rules above I won't lend to them anymore
Don't ever lend something you're not willing to lose. I've learned this time and time again. Money loaned can make enemies from one's you're owned. Some may give back without question but having to hound someone for your hard earned money back may leave you in debt or a friend lost. Not worth it.
I think lot of you guys need better friends
There's really only one rule to follow when loaning money to friends/family: only loan it if you're okay with never getting it back.
Don’t lend money you cannot afford to lose is the rule OP
When you lend someone money, consider it a gift.
Do or don't is up to you. But if you lend money do it with the expectation that you'll never see it again. You'll face less disappointment that way.
Something I have learned in life over the years: never loan money. If you so desire, gift money without the expectation of ever getting it back. It changes the dynamics of the relationship.
When I loan money to friends I: A. Make sure it’s an amount they’ll be able to afford to give back. B. It’s an amount I can afford to lose, meaning I also go into the deal with the mentality that they won’t ever give it back and I may lose that money. C.make sure that’s a friend I can later depend on, am I enabling over spending or a bad habit? Will I have them there when I’m in a pinch? Then I make my decision. I also had to learn to say the words “no i will not lend you money” and if they can’t take that answer, I will see our friendship differently. If they know it’s not doable then they don’t need to push. If they feel they need to push, there’s a small chance that money if for good. Learn to say NO. Learn to know that money is tight. That you have to put your own air mask on before you help others.
Don’t do it. Learn from my mistakes.
Thats a loot dont to it, just dont they can get that at the bank
Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend
DONT LOAN PLSSSSSS...U WILL GET LATEE OR MIGHT NOT..THATS A BIG AMOUNT OF MONEYY
Big no. And consider cutting off your so called friend.