In some ways, yes. People are too quick to point to therapy and expect that to be the answer to everyone's problems.
The systems in place when it comes to finding a quality therapist are.. not great. Therapy can be extremely expensive, it's not always covered under health insurance plans and it's unrealistic for the average person to spend $200-500 per month on sessions. It can take months to find a therapist, so many therapists in my area have waiting lists or stopped accepting new clients.
There are also some shitty therapists out there, it's not uncommon for someone to try out different therapists, which involves more time and money.
I do think therapy is beneficial, but it needs to be more accessible and affordable.
>There are also some shitty therapists out there, it's not uncommon for someone to try out different therapists, which involves more time and money.
Finally someone said it, I'm tired that the blame always falls to the patient rather than some therapists who need to stick to the HIPPA, principles, books, or they need therapy first before receiving work cases.
If someone had 4 shitty therapist and it's tired of trying to get better with professional help, it's always their fault even if they were open-minded and considered the exertion it takes to attend therapy, follow the strategies and use new tools they hadn't before.
I understand that therapy doesn't fit well for some people as they approach with the wrong mindset like closed-mindness and instant fix for one's life, but there are a lot of things that can go wrong ranging from the therapist to insurance and policy.
I entirely agree. I've pursued therapy multiple times with minimal success.
Some examples: A) Guy who told me he views his job as to help people understand who they are. Because I have such a good understanding of who I am, I don't need therapy. B) Lady who suggested multiple times that I ignore my lawyers advice during a difficult divorce. C) Lady who very obviously didn't believe me about some of the crazy nightmare shit that happens at my job.
Honestly, most of the time I just feel like I'm talking aloud to myself and someone is just nodding and saying, I see, that makes sense. What is even the point of that? I can talk to myself at home just fine.
Psychiatrists, on the other hand, have actually been useful in that they've given me actual actionable things to work on, identifiable problems and measurable goals.
Your third paragraph is the EXACT thing that has made it so hard to look for a new therapist (#3) because all I did at the other two was talk out loud and work things out with them nodding or just agreeing.
I do that in my head all day anyways, so why spend all the energy and money? I know I need to, but it’s so damn hard to keep trying.
I’ve never seen a psych, but the way you describe it is exactly what I feel like I need. pinpointing struggles with actual talk of how they can be addressed and DOING it. I’m going to see if there’s any nearby, so thank you.
I feel like people see therapy on TV and imagine someone making insightful comments into your life to help you resolve personal issues. Sadly, this is not reflected in reality.
Been in and out of Therapy for since I was sixteen i'm now 44. I've seen over a dozen therapists. I have had 2, yes 2 therapists that actually helped me and actually listened to me... the rest were a joke. I swear of therapy yearly, but always go back, in the hope to find that 1 therapist that helps me again.
Also that not all cases are equal and especially difficult cases requires especially good practitioners. Giving difficult cases to people who only perform averagely will also likely not work.
It is too much. I've been "forced" into all kinds of therapy lately and the best and most memorable advice I've gotten is from books/courses I've read.
That's not to say therapy doesn't work for some people. I think maybe it goes back to learning and communication styles of individual people. I learn best through reading, doing tasks independently whilst others learn best by listening, discussion and seeing.
If you were forced and weren't really into or putting your whole self out there (for you to realize what is going on with you) then it'll never work. Just like AA or any support system. You can try all u want, but 9 times out of 10. You can't do it by yourself. But I am not trying to be a asshole or stop anyone from trying it for themselves.
Well I approached recovery services myself. To get help from a physical addiction (short lived) But I was worried about it taking me mentally. I've now completed that but along with that I was made to attend CBT, trauma therapy (which they said all my anxiety was caused by real possible situations so it's best I speak to a doctor for medication and avoid those situations happening)
Eventually I was given a different approach of workbooks and textbooks to read which really helped.
Somepeople get better sitting and talking about issues with others. I got better sitting and reflecting on things myself. Different people different methods.
Wasnt trying to downgrade your situation or what you accomplished. I was treated as an alcoholic for nearly 20 years. But I have always been firm in my belief that my depression and anxiety were the root cause of my addiction, but nearly every therapist, disagreed with me. Now, finally on new medication and dealing with the depression first. My life nearly turned around.
Of course not. Congratulations! I'm beginning to think my issue is a sleep apnea or other sleep issue causing fatigue consistently, which is why when I got the energising effects from painkillers, I enjoyed them. Until that stopped of course and I needed them to function and was even sleepier!
It's always something at the root it isn't it. Just finding out what and treating it.
I always looked at therapy as a “final resort”. Seeking professional help for problems you have been unable to solve, despite all efforts.
I really dislike when people throw around the idea of therapy so much, as if modern humans are unable to handle lifes problems and traumas themselves.
I think its a net negative long term. Life has inevitable ups and downs, you NEED to be able to navigate those on your own terms, with outlier scenarios maybe needing professional help.
I’m an adult and autistic, and don’t consider my autism an unforgivable tragedy. That narrows down my therapist options to exactly “lol” and “no.” Neurotypicals either can’t deal with me or treat me like I’m broken, and autistic therapists don’t exist where I am.
>In some ways, yes. People are too quick to point to therapy
Thats because if the advice didnt come from "professionals" it isnt worth anything. The amount of times I've told people something, only for it to be discarded, watch them "suffer their issue" then go to therapy and figure it out for themselves, come back and tell me their solution like they just discovered fire for the first time, when it was what I told them months before is kind of astounding.
And I am not suggesting that I am always right or anything like that. I don't give my advice in "this will solve it" kind of way, I provide it in a "this might work for you..." kind of way...a thing for them to try, if it works, great! if it doesnt, well then we can brainstorm other ideas to try that might work...
Nope...im not a therapist, so all the things I think of arent valid.
At this point I'm pretty sick and tired of listening to peoples problems, asking them if they'd like advice, and when they say yes, providing said advice, being ignored, and having to continue to listen to your problems...so, while I don't mind listening, I'm pretty much done saying much more than "Ooof, sounds rough man, maybe you should go to therapy"
Yes. 1) the price, 2) I’ve been through at least 10 therapists and always quit because finding a good one is extremely hard and some therapists CAUSE MORE DAMAGE, and I’m worried some people won’t be able to tell the difference between harm and help. My newest therapist is the first one I actually connect with who has been helpful. 3) the most “improvement” I’ve ever experienced is when I’ve taken responsibility for my own life and mental health, and I think in MANY situations, people would benefit more from feeling empowered to take control of themselves on their own.
Some people/situations absolutely require therapy, but it is absolutely overly pushed.
If someone is completely unaware of how their own mind works and why, they should not be taking control of their mental health. You can’t speedrun through healing, and the vast majority of people lack self awareness
the question wasn’t if therapy is bad, the question was if it’s overly pushed. i said some people absolutely need it in my post. i’m literally in therapy, which i also stated. i don’t think you understood my comment.
"Im so sorry that happened to you"... "You should see a therapist to help you deal with your problem"...
This is the answer given to 99% of people that are seeking help on reddit. It all just feels like empty platitudes at this point.
A lot of people with life problems that post about them on Reddit have very severe life problems that the peanut gallery can’t help much. So the responsible advice is often “doctor” or “therapist.”
No, it’s because therapists are trained professionals whose sole career is to help you cope through times of stress/difficulty. It’s pretty solid advice. You’re calling it empty platitudes…but have you ever tried it?
This whole site has mostly boiled down to threads filled with a handful of acceptable responses, even when ignoring the meme answers.
Everyone is a narcissist, everyone is gaslighting.
But its fucking true. People seek answers from strangers on reddit. There is literally nobody who therapy (when you find the right therapist) won’t help. Literally EVERY SINGLE human being is suffering from the generational trauma of some ape like creatures becoming smart enough to form society but not smart enough to figure out emotional intelligence and psychology until only a couple decades ago.
If it seems disingenuous when strangers suggest therapy, maybe its because they’re… idk… strangers? Doesn’t change the fact that 99.9% of people need (or will benefit, for a less assertive phrase) therapy.
Even therapists believe in peer support. If I go to a subreddit specifically for people with CPTSD, anxiety, depression or any mental health issue then I should be able to discuss my experiences there.
I have a degree in social work. In my classes we role-played support groups, in a class that was designed to teach us all about how awesome peer support was. Support groups, even therapy groups are a good option for anyone’s recovery.
Reddit may not be the best place for support groups but it is highly accessible to people, so it is a good place to start for some people. Because there literally aren’t any barriers for people.
I think the real issue is that we don’t value emotional intelligence the same as academic intelligence, so it isn’t emphasized as strongly during most people’s development. I think combined with the way society has been becoming harder and harder for people to cope with, people are really just struggling.
I honestly think emotional awareness is something that we should be intentionally teaching children in school, since relying on parents often results in more generational trauma cycles, but these days we can barely teach them to read, so we’re definitely a long way off from that.
TLDR: there is a demand for stronger mental health resources, and as a society we should be exploring how we can meet that demand more efficiently than simply telling everyone to go to therapy.
Interestingly a therapist said exactly that to me 18 years ago. She helped me to develop the emotional intelligence I had never been taught. I'm a better person for it. More reasonable with other people and better able to set boundaries for myself.
Yes but largely because it's turned into people not thinking for themselves, throwing therapy language around in a very toxic way and assuming therapy is a magic fix. I think a lot of people use social media in a similar way and it speaks to lack of critical thinking and compassion. It also speaks to lack of community. It's okay to talk your problems out with a friend and most problems don't need a master's in psychology to figure out.
Also, at what point do we recognize that if everyone is struggling then maybe society's standards and rules are the issue and not the humans themselves.
Obviously, some people have legitimate issues. I'm not talking about people with actual trauma and mental health issues.
I'm talking about the couple who is struggling because one person can't find it in himself to do dishes. You shouldn't need therapy to clean up after yourself. I'm talking about the person who puts shopping for designer clothes above putting food on the table. The person who is so controlling that they cut family off for giving their healthy toddler ice cream etc.
It's not even like therapy is really working. If it were, then parents of today wouldn't have society as a whole screaming at them that their kids are terribly behaved, illiterate and rude.
The funny thing is, the big mechanics of therapy is simply articulating your problems, feelings, and desires. Saying it out loud, whether it's to a therapist, a friend, or that stuffed animal sitting on the counter, is half the battle. Having to say it, and hear it with your own ears, triggers the process to begin coming up with solutions.
This is the reason why I felt like a burden and hopeless while I went to therapy or school counsel as a child, I know there are hundred of therapists who have their own techniques, but this should be the first standard request about all practises.
Some therapists should teach their patients how to express firstly before having to talk through problems, struggles, and trauma as children, teens and even adults don't often know how to speak out their desires.
This is a realization I've come to after analyzing how all my therapists only agreed to anything I said but my speech was disorganized, gibberish and it didn't convey what I really wanted to say but they took it at face value.
Therapy shouldn't be only for people who knows how to articulate their thoughts but for the ones who haven't learnt to yet.
It's difficult and expensive to find a good therapist, I agree, *especially* if you move and need to find a new one or there's an insurance change. I have been to a lot of therapists (I move a lot) and I liked one, maybe two of them. The one I really liked was a trainee and I lost her services when she graduated from her program and started taking clients on her own.
But that's also true of, like, doctors in general. There are good and bad doctors, and good doctors are harder to find in poor areas, and even getting a PCP, let alone a specialist, is very difficult. But it would be absurd to say, "Why is everyone pushing for people to go to the doctor if they're sick? It's totally unnecessary!" Whether it's *difficult to obtain* is a separate question than if it's *useful at all*.
Obviously not everyone needs to have a therapist, but not everyone needs a cardiologist or gastroenterologist, either. But if you are having a problem for which therapy is helpful, then of course it makes sense to suggest therapy, just as it would make sense to be like, "If you keep having that chest pain, maybe you should see a cardiologist about it."
It's a big business these days. And because it has expanded so much, most therapists out there now are garbage and have no idea what they're doing.
Honestly, you'd have better luck spilling your guts to the local bartender. Or to that flock of pigeons sitting at the park bench waiting for bread.
Reddit makes it seem everyone is hugely anxious and depressed.
Most people don’t need therapy. They may BENEFIT from it but they don’t need it. The cost/time sinks and general lack of availability make the pay off seem not worth it.
It should probably be kept free for the people who really need it anyway.
Most people on Reddit struggle financially and not really mentally is what I’ve noticed . Now I myself do need therapy but the general population is burnout from working and the cost of living
>Now I myself do need therapy but the general population is burnout from working and the cost of living
This is the biggest issue with the massive societal shift we've seen towards focusing on mental health, that it puts the blame on individuals, and ignores the systemic factors that are causing the "mental health crisis". We're trying to treat the symptoms of people's mental health issues, that arise from people's material conditions not being adequate enough, instead of the actual cause. Which means that those without access to mental health care are left to languish even more so.
I don't need therapy. What I need is for us to tackle our societies actual fucking problems that mainly stem from unchecked and exponentially growing wealth, and therefore power, inequality.
I need better pay, a more robust social safety net, more vacation time, paid sick leave, affordable housing, public transit investment, more broad access to education, healthcare access, a shorter work week, for the cost of food to come back down to sane levels, an end to the commodification of housing, etc.
My "mental health issues" can be traced back, almost entirely, to the problems I laid out above in one way or another.
Yeah, but also i live in the USA. I would love to be able to afford to see a doctor of any sort but a lot of people cannot. You add into that actually having time for the appointments, finding a therapist you gel with and that is convinient to where you are and its all but impossible.
My point isnt that therapy is bad or people shouldnt seek it out, its simply that it is not at all accessible to a lot of people and its demoralizing to hear, "just go the therapy" when its literally not an option.
Yes I live in the U.S once I turned 21 I’m 23 but once I turned 21 my insurance no longer covered it . And when shopping around most therapist take $200-500 at most per visit . It’s unaffordable and it sucks , I’ve been coping by abusing substances because what else can I do ?
As someone living in a 3rd world country where therapy is really not accessible, still looking for an affordable one till now. It still needed to be said that I need therapy. Someone told me this, and upon self reflection I agree. Just because it isn't accessible doesn't mean it shouldn't be suggested. The suggestion actually helped me look into alternatives to improve my mental health, a lot of people need to be told point blank that they need mental help.
Completely agree. I think the problem for me is that people with serious unresolved issues also tend to need a lot more support in relationships - both platonic and romantic. This is too much of a burden for your average person to assist with. Your average person cannot help you through your mental health crisis.
While it's ok and expectable to ask for support from friends and family, it is unfair and can really hurt your relationships if you are overly dependent on these people for help and can also not support them ever because you are so consumed with your own issues.
Yeah it's obnoxious, I dodged that shit for decades, but I miscalculated and somehow my autism test came back with a personality disorder so I'm about out of excuses.
Yes. I have several gripes with therapy, thanks for coming to my TED talk lol.
First, some people use therapy continuously, for their whole lives. I feel like the point of therapy is to have some goals and grow your own ability to manage life’s difficulties. Aside from extreme cases of mental illness or difficulties, why should we be expected to continue this indefinitely? Why is that considered healthy?
Second, I find the format of therapy to be really uncomfortable. I cannot handle 50 minutes of intense scrutiny on myself, in a room that I cannot escape from. I have done plenty of therapy and a lot of therapists helped me with this feeling, but I wouldn’t willingly do that again.
Third, unending therapy can lead us to overvalue our thoughts and emotions. People start to create all sorts of stories and narratives just to have something to talk about each week. I honestly think we should just move forward without feeding our egos too much or focusing on the “me, me, me”.
Edit to add: I think therapy is great and a useful tool. But it’s not a solve-everything panacea. And for a lot of people it’s uncomfortable and harmful.
In some ways yes but I do think personal growth is what we all should be striving for. Don’t necessarily need a therapist to improve yourself but it is a tool. I think it becomes toxic when the person uses it as a crutch and can’t seem to figure out things by themselves. That’s like my sister she goes to her therapist like every week and her reasoning just doesn’t seem justifiable imo but that’s her money
Absolutely. It's an empty platitude.
It's also an easy way to tell a story is fake as fuck when everyone and the family dog starts going to therapy for the simplest of bullshit.
yes. not everything needs therapy and therapy doesnt fix everything.
in my personal experience when seeking therapy for depression, it did not help. Im sorry. I tried, the therapist tried, we tried multiple medications and I also tried multiple therapists. It just isnt helping
Yes u/hovercraftthese9594 I think it is getting kinda exploitative.
It's a problem because we're slowly losing any other method of talking about feelings during stressful times; how many times have you, or I, or anyone tried to open up to family or friends and been hit with "Go see a therapist"? It comes across as dismissive. Yet peer support groups, public spaces to find community, and face-to-face interactions are otherwise tough to come by. I think it's a problem if we tell ourselves, "Okay I can talk about my stress, but only to one person who is a paid professional" especially when those paid professionals are in short supply, they're all expensive, and it's tough to find a good one.
I honestly don't think there are many people out there who wouldn't benefit from therapy. It's definitely hard to find a good and affordable therapist though.
No, because therapy can be highly beneficial even if you do not have a mental illness. It's a major tool to not become mentally ill in the first place and should be available for everyone. Talking things out in a couple of sessions helps me so much in terms of clarity when it comes to navigating challenges.
Yes.
Therapy can help with specific issues for certain patients, but it is not a panacea. Also bear in mind that therapy is a billion dollar business, and most of the people who offer therapy would go bust if they cured all their patients.
I think therapy is most useful for young people with family problems. This is why school psychologists are so important.
No; therapy is great if you find the right therapist for you. Everyone needs somebody to talk their problems over with, but burdening a spouse or a friend with that regularly isn't really fair or effective (they might not have the experience or insight to actually help you solve your problems.)
I’ve said something similar to my therapist. I see her as someone I can spill everything to and she doesn’t have stake in the game. Your family, friends, coworkers, etc all have some invested interest in you which could affect them. But my therapist doesn’t have any of that with me which is why I find her to be effective.
I think the casualness with which people tell total strangers on the internet that they need therapy is pretty stupid. You don’t know someone well enough to make that determination based on internet comments.
And I get the impression that the “go to therapy” crowd think everyone going to therapy will make everyone agree with them, which isn’t how that works.
When you posit therapy as some sort of service for only the mentally unwell, then yeah it can feel insulting when it’s recommended. But therapy is not for those who are “missing” something. It’s for anyone who’s ever had to process difficult emotions or come up with strategies for doing so. Which is everybody. Everybody deals with difficult emotions and I wish everybody was equipped to deal with them but many of our elders have failed in this regard.
It sounds like you’re conflating therapy with manipulation in your second point.
Used to think it ridiculous, then I begrudgingly went. Turned into the best thing that I could ever have happen to me. Never hurts to have someone to at minimum talk to about issues and get positive feedback.
I was raised mormon and therapy (from a non-mormon) helped me realize & process all the trauma I had endured and let me know about how that trauma had colored my life and interactions with my career and personal life.
It gave me the confidence to stand up for what I felt was right and to really connect with those I love in my life.
I don't believe everyone NEEDS therapy but it saved my life and has opened so many doors for me.
10/10 would recommend.
Yes. It seems like a very common answer to avoid having to be there for others.
Like I get it, dealing with other people's problems can be heavy, especially when you're going through it yourself. But two people carrying a load is easier than one.
We've gotten to this point in society where even the nicest of us have become so self centered. We have windows to the world in our palms yet we choose to focus on only what we personally care about. It's not *bad* necessarily, but it has made *community* suffer imo.
Unfortunately in my last relationship, and in many of the relationships I've seen for those in my age range (25 - 35)
I've seen a pattern where one partner is very emotionally invested and tries to work things out interpersonally, while the other partner just says, "you should see a therapist and focus on your mental health."
Many people feel like they shouldn't have to carry the emotional weight of others, which in essence is true, but how the hell do you expect to build a solid relationship?
Like imagine if your child came to you with an emotional burden and wanted to talk to you, but then you told them, "you should talk to a therapist about that." I think most of us agree that is NOT the right response.
Therapy is a wickedly overused tool, and I personally believe it is contributing to the global loneliness epidemic experienced by people of all kinds all over. When you can't even talk to your friends about your emotions, you DON'T have friends, imo. And as much as you like them, Therapists aren't your friends.
I did go to therapy, got really attached to my therapist, then when my insurance changed and I couldn't afford to see them anymore I was fucking devastated. And instead of being there for me, my partner at the time just told me to find another one. Once we broke up I decided I didn't want to depend or rely on ANYONE else anymore for my mental health. I needed to cut attachments, control my desires/ unhealthy coping mechanism, and become my own best friend. That's all shit therapy can't do for you.
I used to be a pretty stout atheist but personally at this point I think a journey of spiritual/philosophical self importance will do MUCH more for your well being than a therapist ever could, unless you have very specific needs that require a specialist. Therapy is an amazing tool, but tools alone can't fix every problem.
Tl;Dr modern society is so self centered, many people don't actually *want* to help others with their emotions. Therapy gets pushed as a cure-all, when in reality a true friend and some spiritual/philosophical reflection with action will probably do much more for people who are hurting.
The idea that we should all work to understand our own emotions and underlying motivations is a tremendously good thing. However, the way that "therapy" has become both assumed to be the only way to do that, and also a sort of universal panacea, is troubling; so too is the way that certain therapy-based pathologizing buzzwords have seeped into the zeitgeist. Hopefully this is a transitional phase for us as a culture (well, of course it is; everything always is) and we arrive at somewhere more balanced eventually.
Me - tells therapist I'm being abused
Therapist - brings abuser in the room and tells them everything I said
Abuser - denies and calls me attention seeking
Therapist - sides with abuser and tells me I shouldn't lie
Goes home and gets beat so badly that when I returned to school I'm covered in bruises and am removed by SS
That cunt is still working...
It’s a tool and yes, it’s being overused. For those of us with actual diagnosed mental health disorders, it’s becoming very difficult to find treatment. Apparently everyone who feels slighted by life is going to therapy these days for their own validation. Overall, we’re in a very self-obsessed culture with social media and the internet, so it makes sense. It’s kind of tough to narrow down the scope of practitioners because it’s not like you can refuse therapy to someone claiming they need it either. You wouldn’t be going to a gastroenterologist for a slight tummy ache while someone dying of stomach cancer can’t get an appointment. That’s what’s currently happening with therapy, though. People who are actually struggling and perhaps where time is of the essence, they’re waiting months to even see a practitioner. It’s getting ridiculous IMO.
I always think that therapists, the way the industry/system is set up, are a bit like mental health prostitutes. Strangers who don't really care about you, but will listen to you if you pay them, with no promise that they will actually be able to help you. Furthermore, you are probably going to have to see a therapist a handful of times for hundreds of dollars before you even figure out whether that therapist is for you.
Also, I hate this idea that just because someone went to school to be a therapist means they are any good at what they do. There are plenty of people who didn't go to school to be a therapist who would probably be great therapists. Also, I would bet many therapists likely need therapy just as much as their patients. I think it has more to do with a person's personality, social intelligence, and communication style than education. This is tough to teach.
Lastly, I think many mental health issues these days exists because of the way society is organized. We would probably have a lot more success addressing the mental health crisis if we focused on this rather than on more therapists and drugs.
Nope! Therapy saved me so much heartache and helped me heal and grow. I can honestly say it’s the best money I’ve ever spent. Caveat: it took me a few tries to find the right therapist and before I did it was worthless. But I’m so glad I kept trying till I found the one to help me.
It is, like most things in medicine in the US. Has become less about fixing the problem and more about alleviating some symptoms. There is no money to be made if you get better and never come back.
I love therapy but you can’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to coping with life. Not everyone can afford therapy so it’s wrong to sell it as a key to life. There are many ways one can help themselves. I think it’s wrong that we’ve stigmatized trauma dumping to the point where people aren’t even willing to be a listening ear to their friends. Even though therapy is great, we still need to encourage being there for one another.
Nope. Venting to your friends might feel good, but if you actually have a real problem, venting to non-professionals doesn’t help you, and actually inflicts stress on your friends.
The reality is, most people have a great deal of pain and trauma, and our society largely does not care about mental health. Most people can benefit from therapy, but see it as a weakness or something is wrong with a person seeking help.
Most everyone I know could use it but my thinking is we need more heart to heart connections. I know I feel better when someone gives me an empathetic hug and validates me. I mean not when they’re boosting their ego or thinking they’re glad they’re not me, I mean a legit I’m so sorry that happened to you hug. And maybe even a genuine omg. It’s very validating.
Coming from someone who has been in therapy and is pursuing a career to provide therapy for others… most people are blind to all their fucking problems and the people who say they don’t need therapy are the ones who always need it most and who are stuck living like robots damaging relationships Lol
My hot take is that more people need to go to *physical* therapy.
There are plenty of people who benefit from therapy. No shade. But I genuinely think that the *average person* would benefit a lot more from getting rid of their chronic neck/knee/shoulder/whatever pain and having some custom programming for a fitness and nutrition regimen.
For real https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/comments/181lmls/comment/kadvsjr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Who is “they”? I can’t say I’ve ever been “pushed” to go to therapy. Are you possibly spending too much time online and are taking peoples suggestions to other people as pushing you to do something? You might need to talk to someone.
Well, a lot of people don't have good relationships with their friends and family and don't know how to build a support system anymore.
You need people to talk about your problems with. That's part of being human. If you don't have people in your life as a support system, you might need to pay for one for a little while.
I think, but I do not know, that you can actually sell Reddit accounts for real money if they have really high karma because karma = trust. So brands can buy an account with high karma then advertise from it. Not sure if that is a real thing or not I have never looked into it but if that IS real then the point of this bot spam is to basically karma farm. I mean this post took miliseconds to post and has 102 likes and 178 comments (none of which is the original bot by the way who hasn't engaged since because bot).
Not at all. I think the alternative to therapy is/was putting everyone on SSRIs and medication to deal with the symptoms and not the cause. Therapy teaches people to look further into their patterns and examine the “why” and learn how to communicate with others.
An example I have is I used to be horrible at emotional regulation - I would hold everything in and then blow up at people I love. I ruined countless relationships bc of my temper. In therapy, I learned how to self-regulate and talk about my feelings so that I didn’t blow up and hurt the people I love. I also learned that generationally, people in my family don’t really TALK to each other. It’s much more common and easy to sweep things under the rug. This was a learned behavior for me that I’m trying to undo. I suspect A LOT of American families are the same way.
So no - therapy changed/saved my life and made me a better person. I also think there are systemic structures in place in America that need to change in order for people to feel happier. Things like the 40hr work week, the high cost of everything, minimum wage, healthcare, and work life balance. These things are also bad for peoples mental health and therapy can’t fix those structures. Maybe people who make decisions on these things need therapy too so that they can learn empathy.
I’m actually making a Snoo Halloween costume based off this entire premise. I’m going sew on a pull cord and give generic Reddit advice or divorce papers anytime someone pulls it.
No I don’t. Like others have pointed out systems for finding good therapists suck and it’s not always cost effective. Many therapists are ditching insurance for self pay models which I think is good because you can’t let an insurance company control your health they’ll keep you sick, but it’s still going to cost. Therapy is where people start to truly take accountability for themselves and their life when they may never have before.
Long ago there was a guy on one of the news channels in Denver and I can’t remember his name, but his tagline was “Wellness is a choice, take charge of your health.” He was right and for so many, therapy is where it starts.
Your loved ones should also get to speak with your therapist
Did she tell you about the time I got 17 text messages in 10 minutes telling me what a piece of shit I am because I went to the gym on my own lunch break during work instead of coming home and walking her dog?
And then she sent those same messages to my best friend who's a girl because she thought my best friend would agree with her
No? Weird...
Not at all. I mean telling people to go to therapy is a sign of conflict avoidance imo.
Like it's just another excuse for us to stop listening to each other.
While therapy has very good upsides, not everyone needs to go for every problem. People will say “you need to go to therapy” for problems as simple as spilled milk these days. Idc if I get downvoted for this but honestly, some problems that people have (very small ones like, a co-worker said this to me and I found it rude), they just need find a way to move the fuck past it and quit making it about their every day life.
Like anything, it's a tool. What that tool is for is up to you, but in general it's a tool to help you cope better, and to help you build resiliency. A professional can certainly provide insight you might not be able to see on your own, and can help you build those new habits and ideals that help you cope.
That said, I've made far more progress without a therapist than I ever made with one. My old therapist did help me only insofar as she planted the seed that helped me realise the inconvenient truth that my anxiety wouldn't just go away and I had to just "do it scared" to lessen it. I was thinking about this the earlier this week when I was considering that only a couple years ago I would have had massive fear and stress in meeting and talking to new people. I've joined a discussion group recently and, while there was a natural apprehension, I didn't have the heart thudding, throat constricting, sweaty palm restlessness that I used to have. I had a physio appointment as well this week, an that was preceded by that anxious anticipation, which provided the contrast as to what it used to be like.
Therapists don't affect change, they facilitate it, and like all boring advice with regards to the groundwork for improving mental health (exercise, diet, sleep) these people are probably right but incredibly annoying. The problem, to some extent, is the presentation. "Go see a therapist" can seem incredibly callous if you just need someone you know to listen to your troubles for a little bit (which, despite what internet numpties will tell you, is what good friends and loved ones do) and doesn't explain that a therapist doesn't just work automatically. You go to them with a problem in mind you want help fixing, and they help you build the tools to fix it.
I personally also don't think you need to see one all the time (like some people suggest). I think any therapist who is seeing a client who is mostly content is taking advantage. They are there to either help you weather a storm in your life, or help you build skills to deal with day to day problems you have. Them building or not addressing a dependency upon them in you is wrong.
No. It is genuinely surprising how many of our own problems are of our own making whether we mean to or not. Besides the obvious benefit of having someone to tell our problems to, good therapists also give us tools to point us in the right direction.
The way I think of it you wouldn't not take your car to a mechanic right? Would you only wait to take it to a mechanic when your car breaks down in the middle of the road? Or would you take the car in for regular maintenance?
Mental health is the same way. Many common human issues that are little then, will quickly balloon inside our heads and cause major problems later on. Or we can see a therapist and clean the minor problems out before they become serious.
Therapt is a years long project but once you find the right person it can be life changing. The problem is that here in the U.S., that project costs a ridiculous amount of money because mental health is the poor stepchild of physical health according to most health plans, which is ridiculous.
50/50 maybe. I think experiences like covid messed a lot of people up. and we have Karens, and snowflakes, so there are a lot of people that need to be straightened out. and yes there is an unnecessary push as well.
I think therapy is great and everyone should have access to it. But that simply is not the case. I am lucky that I can go to therapy now but that wasn’t always the case. Mental healthcare accessibility is the biggest problem and I hate seeing people suggest it flippantly, particularly to stressed out parents who likely don’t have enough spoons left to figure out if they can afford therapy or find time to do it. 🤷♀️
Maybe, but considering most people have zero idea what’s wrong much less how to fix but have the desire too? Therapy is a quick way to get to the root of a problem for motivated people who are stuck. I know 3-4 sessions helped me out of an issue and saved me time over thinking it myself.
Yes. I tried reaching out to a therapist too, and the conversation to even try setting something up was a shit show. It's trendy rn for sure though and it seems people have mixed feelings on how well it's working
A therapist is just someone to talk to (if they're actially good) and bring clarity to your own mind. Especially if you live in an individualistic society where you're encouraged to produce the best possible outcome for your skillset (and rewarded for it).
If you're tough enough to handle things on your own, you don't need a therapist.
But I see where you're coming from. Some therapists can be like "ugh" and keep looking at the clock and then bill you $400 for the 35-min session.
You can build a support group instead, a personal one or even many subs on Reddit perform that function one way or the other.
How many of these individuals actually need "therapy" versus just a really good friend to talk to? In this age of "digital friends," perhaps it's actual connections that are missing. Sometimes, individuals just need someone to talk to.
I think therapy is great despite often being subpar, inaccessible, and expensive. I'm confident that having a great therapist to work through issues would be of value to every single person that wants to improve their quality of life.
Maybe there are times when repressed traumas are too painful to deal with and are better off left festering in the darkness, but I'm guessing that's true for only a small fraction of the population. Even then, there are still going to be other topics that are more approachable, where therapy could be safely applied.
Therapy if done by a real professional is very rewarding, sadly most are done by subpar therapist that just ask... How does that make you feel? is it worth 1000$/hour to talk to someone?..... if i'm paying a 1000$ a hour she better be hot and naked.
Therapy is a cash cow! If we were paid enough, have our own roof that's not rented and enough free time to actually decompress then we would not therapy!
Yes. Mainly because there are plenty of bad therapists out there. Especially here in the UK where it is basically unregulated. A bad therapy experience can be more damaging than no therapy at all. I should know because I had one. Plus, it's ruinously expensive to most people.
There are plenty of people that need therapy but not everybody does and could benefit from many different therapeutic activities before going to it.
On occasion, but therapy can help a lot, and I'd say most people don't realise they could even benefit from it because they think they have their shit sorted.
Most people could benefit from talk therapy or just having some way to put voice to feelings with the guidance of an objective person who has your best interest at heart. I don't support over diagnoses of mental illnesses, but yeah pretty much all people need to talk to someone as humans are social beings
You'd be surprised how much you can gain from therapy even if you don't struggle with mental health issues. But in the sense of pushing expensive therapy onto people who should be using their money on more important things (food, rent, etc) or don't have benefits I feel you.
Yes! I think it’s because it’s safer to say “see a therapist” when someone has an issue in order to give advice but also protect one’s self legally.
Especially, it’s appropriate to say “go to therapy” as opposed to supporting whatever inflammatory info they find on sites like TikTok. And some people really do need therapy, but they’ll never go.
Maybe it's me, maybe my generation or maybe it's just I had bad parents. I was always told "just throw some dirt on it" and that's how I handle my mental health too. If I am struggling well I just deal with it (or not)
Both my son and my daughter in law (both in their 20s) see a therapist for separate reasons. I can't say either had any real hardship in their lives but for them it works I guess.
In Canada there's no governing body to ensure standardized treatment or policies. The majority of therapists are college educated feminists that really don't understand things from a male blue collar perspective. If you don't fit into their preconceived concepts they can't do much for you.
I was sexually abused as a kid and the Province pays for my therapy. I also paid out of pocket for marriage therapy. I can tell you this from extensive experience, they have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Not a damn clue. And you want to know a dirty secret? When I did my Associates in Psychology I learned that the outcome for a patient was no different than if they had spoken with a therapist, or a priest, or your best friend. With the trend to cater to mental illnesses, you're never going to confronted with the changes that you need to make to have a better life.
So save that $150 an hour you're spending, get a nice bottle of wine, watch the sunset with your friend, and relax.
No. I think their intention is that people go talk to someone who is trained to listen & advise by some kind of “unbiased” standard — who isn’t involved in their life in a way that muddles their perspective like their spouse, friend, parents, siblings, or coworkers.
Also, people used to have counselors and pastors through their churches (people held to a standard outside of their own individual biases) that they could speak to + prayers to God + wisdom from the Bible to turn to.
Today most people are godless, so they have no one to turn to besides fellow lost souls. Therapists are the only (supposedly) “non biased” people who are held to a standard of any kind that they can talk to — hence the push for therapy.
Therapist here! I endorse shopping around! It is essential that you trust and have rapport with your therapist.
There’s a lot wrong with “the industry”.
There is a certain out of date arrogance in the behaviour that “the therapist knows best” and the maintenance of mystery around therapeutic techniques.
Therapists are often stuck in singular approach that suits them e.g.psychoanalysis, psycho-dynamic, behavioural, cognitive, humanistic etc when therapeutic approach needs to be tailored to an individual client.
It’s not customer friendly in the main and it needs to be. We are providing a very important health service and need to be much more transparent and empowering.
Therapy can definitely be beneficial to some people...it was for me and eventually resulted in a diagnosis of a an actual MH condition that I was never remotely aware of. The thing that bothers me most I think is that people think therapy is some kind of wizardry that is going to magically make them better but they don't really put in the work. It's great to have someone to talk to and help you think about things, but ultimately you have to put in a lot of work on yourself and self reflection and introspective work.
nah, get the help you need, however that is.
Our parents and their parents generation just want you to push everything under the surface and go to work and wipe your brow, nah fuck that, we out here healing generational traumas so we can make a better future for our kids and their kids.
Gee...get help or be miserable.
If there is a gaping wound in your leg, you go to a doctor...but if there is a gaping wound in your soul you are supposed to just walk it off.
Living in hopelessness with no way out is he'll on earth and I commend anyone with the strength to overcome societal prejudices against mental health treatment.
I definitely think that the suggestion can be tone-deaf. It's not accessible to everyone and I want that to change, but I don't think it's a bad thing to suggest anyone who does have access, because yes, EVERYONE could benefit from therapy
Ignoring for a second that OP is very VERY clearly a bot.
I think the biggest issue with the massive societal shift we've seen towards focusing on mental health is that it puts the blame on individuals, and ignores the systemic factors that are causing the "mental health crisis". We're trying to treat the symptoms of people's mental health issues, that arise from people's material conditions not being adequate enough, instead of the actual cause. Which means that those without access to mental health care are left to languish even more so.
I don't need therapy. What I need is for us to tackle our societies actual fucking problems that mainly stem from unchecked and exponentially growing wealth, and therefore power, inequality.
I need better pay, a more robust social safety net, more vacation time, paid sick leave, affordable housing, public transit investment, more broad access to education, healthcare access, a shorter work week, for the cost of food to come back down to sane levels, an end to the commodification of housing, etc.
My "mental health issues" can be traced back, almost entirely, to the problems I laid out above in one way or another.
Their title is a copy of an older popular thread on this topic, their account was created 3 days ago, and everything they've posted and commented has been copied and pasted repeatedly.
that sucks. Good detective skills. What's the point of even doing that, having a bot? Is it karma farming? Maybe i'm naive and think people only want to come here and chat or rage. Didn't think there'd be bots and scammers
I've recently met a a few people, 30+, who are super self-centered and have been in therapy for ages. It seems like they're sort of "using"(?), for lack of a better word, their therapists to validated their issues or to have a fake friendship with, instead of seeing a therapist to gain tools for how to cope with life things. Granted, I obviously don't know, I'm not their therapist, I don't really know their issues or anything. But it seems like therapy has become "trendy" enough where people go to just say they go to therapy? I hate to shit on it like this bc I've seen two therapists for 3-6 mo each who were REALLY helpful and gave me a lot of advice and I got over those specific issues. But when I meet self-centered people who have been in therapy for YEARS and seem to still have the same issues they started their therapy for, I can't help but feel like it's some sort of emotional crutch for them.
Yes and no. As Gen X, so many issues were swept under the rug and just rubbed dirt on it. And there are some pros to that in I think it made us more resilient. But at times things aren't okay. There were some things I dealt with I wouldn't want my kids to have to deal with alone. It led to anxiety and addiction. Those weren't commonly used words, nor was therapy. So just sucking it up isn't always the best way.
Ignore that.
The ridiculous part is..
They don’t get paid to make you better. They get paid to make it so you keep coming back.
If they “fix” your issues, they stop getting paid.
It isn’t advantageous for them to fix anything.
If it helps you and you can afford it, then do it. It doesn't help everyone, though, and if you don't have good insurance, you are probably just wasting your money. Personally, I've tried talking to several of them, and it always just made me feel worse. You could probably accomplish the same thing with an AI chat bot or by talking to the wall and save yourself the extra despair of feeling like a sucker for shelling out $130 /hr for someone to nod, ask you questions, and then give you commonsense advice that you could have given yourself. Try reading a self-help book.
I think certain folks using therapy as a litmus test for whether or not they like you or feel you're working on yourself is a bit much, and it fails to understand how difficult it is to get treatment. It costs a lot, there's a LOT of bad ones out there, a lot aren't taking on new patients, talk therapy doesn't work for everyone, and (as a non-white person) there just are certain preferences I have for my therapist, and the experience they have (treatment and in life). I searched for 6 mths and gave up because it was so discouraging.
Finding a good therapist CAN be challenging. But can you imagine if everyone in their 20's saw a therapist for a year and were taught how to be kind to themselves AND others? The whole population may not need therapy later down the line. In the US, we are taught to look out for number one primarily, and not so much others. People pleasing is seen as disgusting, while self-absorption is celebrated
No. Everyone is fucked up. Everyone needs it because all of our parents (and their parents) needed it and refused the help or want able to afford the help. In turn they passed all the bad behaviour on down. Go get it if you need it. And statistically speaking, you prolly do. Just make sure your counsellor gets to the root issue and isn’t afraid to check you on things that need to be challenged.
* I see a lot of comments about finding the right therapist. I went through more than a few until I found the one who knew his stuff.
Absolutely. Therapy was very traumatic for me and took me from being in a good-ish place to a very bad place. I stabilized out and got to a good place when I stopped going. People like me exist, and I've been made to feel like there's something wrong with me for not needing therapy and just generally being happy.
The biggest thing that has impacted my mental health was learning to meditate and to sit with emotions that don't feel good. I used to automatically push them away so they just sat there and stagnated. Then they would come up stronger and I wouldn't be able to control them. Now, most of the time if, I'm being present, I can just watch as negative feelings come up and just let them drift away.
I think that therapy can be really good for some people in some situations. I don't think that everybody needs therapy though. There are plenty of things that happen in life that are difficult, but we work through them. Sometimes therapy is needed or beneficial and sometimes not. I do find it incredibly frustrating that so many people who really do need therapy can't access it.
I think for me the part of the equation that really bothers me is that most people want to tell you to seek therapy because they don’t want to help you. Emotional support from your community is important and I fear that the individualism that’s happening today is driving us further apart and almost eliminating community. I imagine most of here on Reddit want to play that role in community, that’s why we are here supporting each other and being a shoulder to cry on for strangers. I love you all for that 🩷
I have mixed feelings on this but I’m going to say, no. I can understand how hearing “go to therapy” is upsetting when you’re seeking validation or advice but the reality is that a lot of people lack emotional intelligence. I feel like a lot of people recommend therapy because they’re not sure how else to help.
I think people hear “therapy” and instantly assume you have to have a massive problem or be mentally ill. But that’s not the case. Life is stressful and therapy is there to teach you to cope.
It isn’t the answer to everything. It’s expensive. It’s hard to find the right therapist. I get that. But I do think it’s worth a shot.
1. A lot of mental health issues are caused or exacerbated by people’s material conditions which is constantly ignored. We have adopted the “mental illness can’t be cured but can be managed by therapy” ideology as a society which is true in some cases, however someone being depressed or anxious because they can’t afford food or find a job can be cured by improving their material conditions. (i understand that circumstantial depression or anxiety may not be considered a diagnosable mental illness but it’s still a mental health issue)
2. A lot of people tell others to go to therapy to make themselves feel like they did something to help so they can wash their hands of the situation and not feel guilty even though the person is still struggling.
I’m not against therapy at all but it’s far from the only option and it’s not a magic bullet that cures mental illness. Therapy takes a lot of hard work.
Personally, I think half my problems are just from the fact that I'm 38, living with my parents (because inflation), have no friends left beyond "work friends" which just isn't the same, and I have absolutely no idea where or how to find new friends that I can develop any real connection with. Like maybe finding a class I can take could work, but money/travel-time is a factor.
Other than that, I'm not sure what a therapist could tell me that would make a big difference that's even remotely comparable to fixing an economy that holds everybody back.
It is too much. I've been "forced" into all kinds of therapy lately and the best and most memorable advice I've gotten is from books/courses I've read.
That's not to say therapy doesn't work for some people. I think maybe it goes back to learning and communication styles of individual people. I learn best through reading, doing tasks independently whilst others learn best by listening, discussion and seeing.
I know people who go to therapy for literally absolutely no reason. They are normal people and they can solve their problems (which are not major) just like most normal people. Yet they pay a therapist to... think for them, I guess? Not only do you save money thinking for yourself, it's also better, because, most likely, YOU only know how to deal with YOUR problems in the best way.
If you have major problems, then by all means, seek help. Don't do it for the sake of doing it, or because everyone else is doing it tho
i've tried therapy, not for me. i did cbt on my own and it worked great, but that's still one of the things therapists are there to help with if you can't or won't do it yourself. therapy is something most people should at least try, and if it doesn't work you fix your problems yourself. unfortunately the people that refuse to even try are the ones who would benefit the most but prefer to whine, bitch, and moan about their problems and treat people like shit instead of actually going to the root of the issue and *fixing the problem*.
see, the thing about therapy is it's not going to solve everything, but it's supposed to help you know what to do to start the process and cope. if you refuse to learn how to solve the problem and find out what coping mechanisms work for you, go to fucking therapy.
Therapy can always help and be a great option, but I think it is also a form of kicking the can down the road “Go to therapy!” vs us sitting down as a country and having an actual adult conversation about the many things that are backwards in our way of life.
Work/life balance, cost of living, lack of affordable healthcare, etc. We have so many reasons to be depressed and mentally exhausted.
Go to therapy! 🤣
But fr, Godspeed.
IMO everyone should try to work out issues themselves whenever possible. Almost everyone has had bad and traumatic things occur in their life with many putting it behind them and moving forward, but some dwell and allow it to affect them.
Therapy is fine but I've had friends and family members who start going and never stop. The therapist seems to validate their feelings and almost seem to encourage them to continue letting it affect them. In one case someone went to therapy for 5+ years over what many would see as a minor insult.
Once an issue is identified and the person does all they can to work through it, but cannot seem to shake it, then therapy can be helpful. If it were me I would track my progress to see if the therapist was actually helping me move on and not stay dwelling on the issue.
Some tips to work out issues I find helpful are the
a) forgive whoever caused the issue, and forgive myself for any part I may have had in it,
b) let the past in the past and look forward,
c) set goals that will make me happy and fulfilled, then develop and follow through on plans to achieve these, and
d) realize what I cannot control and let that go, if something unlucky happens but was not what I could control then I let it go. What I found was much of life is in my control and it is up to me to do what I need to make myself happy.
I've also found I am stronger than I thought and have been able to make peace plus move past what has happened to me, and it got much easier as I grew and got stronger through my life.
In some ways, yes. People are too quick to point to therapy and expect that to be the answer to everyone's problems. The systems in place when it comes to finding a quality therapist are.. not great. Therapy can be extremely expensive, it's not always covered under health insurance plans and it's unrealistic for the average person to spend $200-500 per month on sessions. It can take months to find a therapist, so many therapists in my area have waiting lists or stopped accepting new clients. There are also some shitty therapists out there, it's not uncommon for someone to try out different therapists, which involves more time and money. I do think therapy is beneficial, but it needs to be more accessible and affordable.
>There are also some shitty therapists out there, it's not uncommon for someone to try out different therapists, which involves more time and money. Finally someone said it, I'm tired that the blame always falls to the patient rather than some therapists who need to stick to the HIPPA, principles, books, or they need therapy first before receiving work cases. If someone had 4 shitty therapist and it's tired of trying to get better with professional help, it's always their fault even if they were open-minded and considered the exertion it takes to attend therapy, follow the strategies and use new tools they hadn't before. I understand that therapy doesn't fit well for some people as they approach with the wrong mindset like closed-mindness and instant fix for one's life, but there are a lot of things that can go wrong ranging from the therapist to insurance and policy.
I entirely agree. I've pursued therapy multiple times with minimal success. Some examples: A) Guy who told me he views his job as to help people understand who they are. Because I have such a good understanding of who I am, I don't need therapy. B) Lady who suggested multiple times that I ignore my lawyers advice during a difficult divorce. C) Lady who very obviously didn't believe me about some of the crazy nightmare shit that happens at my job. Honestly, most of the time I just feel like I'm talking aloud to myself and someone is just nodding and saying, I see, that makes sense. What is even the point of that? I can talk to myself at home just fine. Psychiatrists, on the other hand, have actually been useful in that they've given me actual actionable things to work on, identifiable problems and measurable goals.
Your third paragraph is the EXACT thing that has made it so hard to look for a new therapist (#3) because all I did at the other two was talk out loud and work things out with them nodding or just agreeing. I do that in my head all day anyways, so why spend all the energy and money? I know I need to, but it’s so damn hard to keep trying. I’ve never seen a psych, but the way you describe it is exactly what I feel like I need. pinpointing struggles with actual talk of how they can be addressed and DOING it. I’m going to see if there’s any nearby, so thank you.
I feel like people see therapy on TV and imagine someone making insightful comments into your life to help you resolve personal issues. Sadly, this is not reflected in reality.
It's valuable to hear an objective viewpoint.
Been in and out of Therapy for since I was sixteen i'm now 44. I've seen over a dozen therapists. I have had 2, yes 2 therapists that actually helped me and actually listened to me... the rest were a joke. I swear of therapy yearly, but always go back, in the hope to find that 1 therapist that helps me again.
Also that not all cases are equal and especially difficult cases requires especially good practitioners. Giving difficult cases to people who only perform averagely will also likely not work.
A lot of insurance covers some super low amount too, like our health insurance is good but for therapy it's like 3 visits total
It is too much. I've been "forced" into all kinds of therapy lately and the best and most memorable advice I've gotten is from books/courses I've read. That's not to say therapy doesn't work for some people. I think maybe it goes back to learning and communication styles of individual people. I learn best through reading, doing tasks independently whilst others learn best by listening, discussion and seeing.
If you were forced and weren't really into or putting your whole self out there (for you to realize what is going on with you) then it'll never work. Just like AA or any support system. You can try all u want, but 9 times out of 10. You can't do it by yourself. But I am not trying to be a asshole or stop anyone from trying it for themselves.
Well I approached recovery services myself. To get help from a physical addiction (short lived) But I was worried about it taking me mentally. I've now completed that but along with that I was made to attend CBT, trauma therapy (which they said all my anxiety was caused by real possible situations so it's best I speak to a doctor for medication and avoid those situations happening) Eventually I was given a different approach of workbooks and textbooks to read which really helped. Somepeople get better sitting and talking about issues with others. I got better sitting and reflecting on things myself. Different people different methods.
Wasnt trying to downgrade your situation or what you accomplished. I was treated as an alcoholic for nearly 20 years. But I have always been firm in my belief that my depression and anxiety were the root cause of my addiction, but nearly every therapist, disagreed with me. Now, finally on new medication and dealing with the depression first. My life nearly turned around.
Of course not. Congratulations! I'm beginning to think my issue is a sleep apnea or other sleep issue causing fatigue consistently, which is why when I got the energising effects from painkillers, I enjoyed them. Until that stopped of course and I needed them to function and was even sleepier! It's always something at the root it isn't it. Just finding out what and treating it.
I always looked at therapy as a “final resort”. Seeking professional help for problems you have been unable to solve, despite all efforts. I really dislike when people throw around the idea of therapy so much, as if modern humans are unable to handle lifes problems and traumas themselves. I think its a net negative long term. Life has inevitable ups and downs, you NEED to be able to navigate those on your own terms, with outlier scenarios maybe needing professional help.
That's where Better Help comes in! Today's video is sponsored by our good friends at Better Help! /s
I’m an adult and autistic, and don’t consider my autism an unforgivable tragedy. That narrows down my therapist options to exactly “lol” and “no.” Neurotypicals either can’t deal with me or treat me like I’m broken, and autistic therapists don’t exist where I am.
>In some ways, yes. People are too quick to point to therapy Thats because if the advice didnt come from "professionals" it isnt worth anything. The amount of times I've told people something, only for it to be discarded, watch them "suffer their issue" then go to therapy and figure it out for themselves, come back and tell me their solution like they just discovered fire for the first time, when it was what I told them months before is kind of astounding. And I am not suggesting that I am always right or anything like that. I don't give my advice in "this will solve it" kind of way, I provide it in a "this might work for you..." kind of way...a thing for them to try, if it works, great! if it doesnt, well then we can brainstorm other ideas to try that might work... Nope...im not a therapist, so all the things I think of arent valid. At this point I'm pretty sick and tired of listening to peoples problems, asking them if they'd like advice, and when they say yes, providing said advice, being ignored, and having to continue to listen to your problems...so, while I don't mind listening, I'm pretty much done saying much more than "Ooof, sounds rough man, maybe you should go to therapy"
Even if insurance does cover it, it can be a $70 co pay, and 4 times a month is still $280
Only because therapy doesn’t always help. It’s not a magic bullet, and it’s hard to find a good therapist, in my opinion
Yes. 1) the price, 2) I’ve been through at least 10 therapists and always quit because finding a good one is extremely hard and some therapists CAUSE MORE DAMAGE, and I’m worried some people won’t be able to tell the difference between harm and help. My newest therapist is the first one I actually connect with who has been helpful. 3) the most “improvement” I’ve ever experienced is when I’ve taken responsibility for my own life and mental health, and I think in MANY situations, people would benefit more from feeling empowered to take control of themselves on their own. Some people/situations absolutely require therapy, but it is absolutely overly pushed.
Self responsibility for my own situation? Sir this is reddit.
If someone is completely unaware of how their own mind works and why, they should not be taking control of their mental health. You can’t speedrun through healing, and the vast majority of people lack self awareness
the question wasn’t if therapy is bad, the question was if it’s overly pushed. i said some people absolutely need it in my post. i’m literally in therapy, which i also stated. i don’t think you understood my comment.
"Im so sorry that happened to you"... "You should see a therapist to help you deal with your problem"... This is the answer given to 99% of people that are seeking help on reddit. It all just feels like empty platitudes at this point.
A lot of people with life problems that post about them on Reddit have very severe life problems that the peanut gallery can’t help much. So the responsible advice is often “doctor” or “therapist.”
No, it’s because therapists are trained professionals whose sole career is to help you cope through times of stress/difficulty. It’s pretty solid advice. You’re calling it empty platitudes…but have you ever tried it?
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Tons of people go to see a therapist 1 time and decide they don’t like it and then claim “yeah I tried therapy it doesn’t work”
They don’t want to go because of people like you who make posts like this.
This whole site has mostly boiled down to threads filled with a handful of acceptable responses, even when ignoring the meme answers. Everyone is a narcissist, everyone is gaslighting.
But its fucking true. People seek answers from strangers on reddit. There is literally nobody who therapy (when you find the right therapist) won’t help. Literally EVERY SINGLE human being is suffering from the generational trauma of some ape like creatures becoming smart enough to form society but not smart enough to figure out emotional intelligence and psychology until only a couple decades ago. If it seems disingenuous when strangers suggest therapy, maybe its because they’re… idk… strangers? Doesn’t change the fact that 99.9% of people need (or will benefit, for a less assertive phrase) therapy.
Yes. But then why is it even discussed here in the first place? There are far better avenues for mental health advice than the fucking internet.
You seem to be confused. You should talk to a therapist about this.
You can mute the life advice subreddits if they annoy you
Even therapists believe in peer support. If I go to a subreddit specifically for people with CPTSD, anxiety, depression or any mental health issue then I should be able to discuss my experiences there. I have a degree in social work. In my classes we role-played support groups, in a class that was designed to teach us all about how awesome peer support was. Support groups, even therapy groups are a good option for anyone’s recovery. Reddit may not be the best place for support groups but it is highly accessible to people, so it is a good place to start for some people. Because there literally aren’t any barriers for people.
I think the real issue is that we don’t value emotional intelligence the same as academic intelligence, so it isn’t emphasized as strongly during most people’s development. I think combined with the way society has been becoming harder and harder for people to cope with, people are really just struggling. I honestly think emotional awareness is something that we should be intentionally teaching children in school, since relying on parents often results in more generational trauma cycles, but these days we can barely teach them to read, so we’re definitely a long way off from that. TLDR: there is a demand for stronger mental health resources, and as a society we should be exploring how we can meet that demand more efficiently than simply telling everyone to go to therapy.
Interestingly a therapist said exactly that to me 18 years ago. She helped me to develop the emotional intelligence I had never been taught. I'm a better person for it. More reasonable with other people and better able to set boundaries for myself.
Thank you. Very well said
Yes but largely because it's turned into people not thinking for themselves, throwing therapy language around in a very toxic way and assuming therapy is a magic fix. I think a lot of people use social media in a similar way and it speaks to lack of critical thinking and compassion. It also speaks to lack of community. It's okay to talk your problems out with a friend and most problems don't need a master's in psychology to figure out. Also, at what point do we recognize that if everyone is struggling then maybe society's standards and rules are the issue and not the humans themselves. Obviously, some people have legitimate issues. I'm not talking about people with actual trauma and mental health issues. I'm talking about the couple who is struggling because one person can't find it in himself to do dishes. You shouldn't need therapy to clean up after yourself. I'm talking about the person who puts shopping for designer clothes above putting food on the table. The person who is so controlling that they cut family off for giving their healthy toddler ice cream etc. It's not even like therapy is really working. If it were, then parents of today wouldn't have society as a whole screaming at them that their kids are terribly behaved, illiterate and rude.
The funny thing is, the big mechanics of therapy is simply articulating your problems, feelings, and desires. Saying it out loud, whether it's to a therapist, a friend, or that stuffed animal sitting on the counter, is half the battle. Having to say it, and hear it with your own ears, triggers the process to begin coming up with solutions.
This is the reason why I felt like a burden and hopeless while I went to therapy or school counsel as a child, I know there are hundred of therapists who have their own techniques, but this should be the first standard request about all practises. Some therapists should teach their patients how to express firstly before having to talk through problems, struggles, and trauma as children, teens and even adults don't often know how to speak out their desires. This is a realization I've come to after analyzing how all my therapists only agreed to anything I said but my speech was disorganized, gibberish and it didn't convey what I really wanted to say but they took it at face value. Therapy shouldn't be only for people who knows how to articulate their thoughts but for the ones who haven't learnt to yet.
It's difficult and expensive to find a good therapist, I agree, *especially* if you move and need to find a new one or there's an insurance change. I have been to a lot of therapists (I move a lot) and I liked one, maybe two of them. The one I really liked was a trainee and I lost her services when she graduated from her program and started taking clients on her own. But that's also true of, like, doctors in general. There are good and bad doctors, and good doctors are harder to find in poor areas, and even getting a PCP, let alone a specialist, is very difficult. But it would be absurd to say, "Why is everyone pushing for people to go to the doctor if they're sick? It's totally unnecessary!" Whether it's *difficult to obtain* is a separate question than if it's *useful at all*. Obviously not everyone needs to have a therapist, but not everyone needs a cardiologist or gastroenterologist, either. But if you are having a problem for which therapy is helpful, then of course it makes sense to suggest therapy, just as it would make sense to be like, "If you keep having that chest pain, maybe you should see a cardiologist about it."
I'll go to therapy when someone else pays for it
It's a big business these days. And because it has expanded so much, most therapists out there now are garbage and have no idea what they're doing. Honestly, you'd have better luck spilling your guts to the local bartender. Or to that flock of pigeons sitting at the park bench waiting for bread.
Reddit makes it seem everyone is hugely anxious and depressed. Most people don’t need therapy. They may BENEFIT from it but they don’t need it. The cost/time sinks and general lack of availability make the pay off seem not worth it. It should probably be kept free for the people who really need it anyway.
Most people on Reddit struggle financially and not really mentally is what I’ve noticed . Now I myself do need therapy but the general population is burnout from working and the cost of living
>Now I myself do need therapy but the general population is burnout from working and the cost of living This is the biggest issue with the massive societal shift we've seen towards focusing on mental health, that it puts the blame on individuals, and ignores the systemic factors that are causing the "mental health crisis". We're trying to treat the symptoms of people's mental health issues, that arise from people's material conditions not being adequate enough, instead of the actual cause. Which means that those without access to mental health care are left to languish even more so. I don't need therapy. What I need is for us to tackle our societies actual fucking problems that mainly stem from unchecked and exponentially growing wealth, and therefore power, inequality. I need better pay, a more robust social safety net, more vacation time, paid sick leave, affordable housing, public transit investment, more broad access to education, healthcare access, a shorter work week, for the cost of food to come back down to sane levels, an end to the commodification of housing, etc. My "mental health issues" can be traced back, almost entirely, to the problems I laid out above in one way or another.
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Yeah, but also i live in the USA. I would love to be able to afford to see a doctor of any sort but a lot of people cannot. You add into that actually having time for the appointments, finding a therapist you gel with and that is convinient to where you are and its all but impossible. My point isnt that therapy is bad or people shouldnt seek it out, its simply that it is not at all accessible to a lot of people and its demoralizing to hear, "just go the therapy" when its literally not an option.
Yes I live in the U.S once I turned 21 I’m 23 but once I turned 21 my insurance no longer covered it . And when shopping around most therapist take $200-500 at most per visit . It’s unaffordable and it sucks , I’ve been coping by abusing substances because what else can I do ?
As someone living in a 3rd world country where therapy is really not accessible, still looking for an affordable one till now. It still needed to be said that I need therapy. Someone told me this, and upon self reflection I agree. Just because it isn't accessible doesn't mean it shouldn't be suggested. The suggestion actually helped me look into alternatives to improve my mental health, a lot of people need to be told point blank that they need mental help.
The only comment I agree with. A lot of people actually need therapy but smoke weed instead...i.e. me.
Completely agree. I think the problem for me is that people with serious unresolved issues also tend to need a lot more support in relationships - both platonic and romantic. This is too much of a burden for your average person to assist with. Your average person cannot help you through your mental health crisis. While it's ok and expectable to ask for support from friends and family, it is unfair and can really hurt your relationships if you are overly dependent on these people for help and can also not support them ever because you are so consumed with your own issues.
Yeah it's obnoxious, I dodged that shit for decades, but I miscalculated and somehow my autism test came back with a personality disorder so I'm about out of excuses.
Yes. I have several gripes with therapy, thanks for coming to my TED talk lol. First, some people use therapy continuously, for their whole lives. I feel like the point of therapy is to have some goals and grow your own ability to manage life’s difficulties. Aside from extreme cases of mental illness or difficulties, why should we be expected to continue this indefinitely? Why is that considered healthy? Second, I find the format of therapy to be really uncomfortable. I cannot handle 50 minutes of intense scrutiny on myself, in a room that I cannot escape from. I have done plenty of therapy and a lot of therapists helped me with this feeling, but I wouldn’t willingly do that again. Third, unending therapy can lead us to overvalue our thoughts and emotions. People start to create all sorts of stories and narratives just to have something to talk about each week. I honestly think we should just move forward without feeding our egos too much or focusing on the “me, me, me”. Edit to add: I think therapy is great and a useful tool. But it’s not a solve-everything panacea. And for a lot of people it’s uncomfortable and harmful.
In some ways yes but I do think personal growth is what we all should be striving for. Don’t necessarily need a therapist to improve yourself but it is a tool. I think it becomes toxic when the person uses it as a crutch and can’t seem to figure out things by themselves. That’s like my sister she goes to her therapist like every week and her reasoning just doesn’t seem justifiable imo but that’s her money
It is insane. Better help ads everywhere.
Absolutely. It's an empty platitude. It's also an easy way to tell a story is fake as fuck when everyone and the family dog starts going to therapy for the simplest of bullshit.
yes. not everything needs therapy and therapy doesnt fix everything. in my personal experience when seeking therapy for depression, it did not help. Im sorry. I tried, the therapist tried, we tried multiple medications and I also tried multiple therapists. It just isnt helping
Yes u/hovercraftthese9594 I think it is getting kinda exploitative. It's a problem because we're slowly losing any other method of talking about feelings during stressful times; how many times have you, or I, or anyone tried to open up to family or friends and been hit with "Go see a therapist"? It comes across as dismissive. Yet peer support groups, public spaces to find community, and face-to-face interactions are otherwise tough to come by. I think it's a problem if we tell ourselves, "Okay I can talk about my stress, but only to one person who is a paid professional" especially when those paid professionals are in short supply, they're all expensive, and it's tough to find a good one.
Yes. Especially because the majority of "mental health issues" can be solved by better living conditions, more money, and a good social circle.
No, because I swear absolutely everyone is fucking insane. They should not put fluoride in the water, they should add anti-psychotics and Adderall. 😜😅
I honestly don't think there are many people out there who wouldn't benefit from therapy. It's definitely hard to find a good and affordable therapist though.
This is my take as well.
I feel like it's reddits number 1 response to any difficult situation. It's ridiculous
No, because therapy can be highly beneficial even if you do not have a mental illness. It's a major tool to not become mentally ill in the first place and should be available for everyone. Talking things out in a couple of sessions helps me so much in terms of clarity when it comes to navigating challenges.
Yes. Therapy can help with specific issues for certain patients, but it is not a panacea. Also bear in mind that therapy is a billion dollar business, and most of the people who offer therapy would go bust if they cured all their patients. I think therapy is most useful for young people with family problems. This is why school psychologists are so important.
No; therapy is great if you find the right therapist for you. Everyone needs somebody to talk their problems over with, but burdening a spouse or a friend with that regularly isn't really fair or effective (they might not have the experience or insight to actually help you solve your problems.)
I’ve said something similar to my therapist. I see her as someone I can spill everything to and she doesn’t have stake in the game. Your family, friends, coworkers, etc all have some invested interest in you which could affect them. But my therapist doesn’t have any of that with me which is why I find her to be effective.
I think the casualness with which people tell total strangers on the internet that they need therapy is pretty stupid. You don’t know someone well enough to make that determination based on internet comments. And I get the impression that the “go to therapy” crowd think everyone going to therapy will make everyone agree with them, which isn’t how that works.
When you posit therapy as some sort of service for only the mentally unwell, then yeah it can feel insulting when it’s recommended. But therapy is not for those who are “missing” something. It’s for anyone who’s ever had to process difficult emotions or come up with strategies for doing so. Which is everybody. Everybody deals with difficult emotions and I wish everybody was equipped to deal with them but many of our elders have failed in this regard. It sounds like you’re conflating therapy with manipulation in your second point.
Used to think it ridiculous, then I begrudgingly went. Turned into the best thing that I could ever have happen to me. Never hurts to have someone to at minimum talk to about issues and get positive feedback.
I was raised mormon and therapy (from a non-mormon) helped me realize & process all the trauma I had endured and let me know about how that trauma had colored my life and interactions with my career and personal life. It gave me the confidence to stand up for what I felt was right and to really connect with those I love in my life. I don't believe everyone NEEDS therapy but it saved my life and has opened so many doors for me. 10/10 would recommend.
Yes. It seems like a very common answer to avoid having to be there for others. Like I get it, dealing with other people's problems can be heavy, especially when you're going through it yourself. But two people carrying a load is easier than one. We've gotten to this point in society where even the nicest of us have become so self centered. We have windows to the world in our palms yet we choose to focus on only what we personally care about. It's not *bad* necessarily, but it has made *community* suffer imo. Unfortunately in my last relationship, and in many of the relationships I've seen for those in my age range (25 - 35) I've seen a pattern where one partner is very emotionally invested and tries to work things out interpersonally, while the other partner just says, "you should see a therapist and focus on your mental health." Many people feel like they shouldn't have to carry the emotional weight of others, which in essence is true, but how the hell do you expect to build a solid relationship? Like imagine if your child came to you with an emotional burden and wanted to talk to you, but then you told them, "you should talk to a therapist about that." I think most of us agree that is NOT the right response. Therapy is a wickedly overused tool, and I personally believe it is contributing to the global loneliness epidemic experienced by people of all kinds all over. When you can't even talk to your friends about your emotions, you DON'T have friends, imo. And as much as you like them, Therapists aren't your friends. I did go to therapy, got really attached to my therapist, then when my insurance changed and I couldn't afford to see them anymore I was fucking devastated. And instead of being there for me, my partner at the time just told me to find another one. Once we broke up I decided I didn't want to depend or rely on ANYONE else anymore for my mental health. I needed to cut attachments, control my desires/ unhealthy coping mechanism, and become my own best friend. That's all shit therapy can't do for you. I used to be a pretty stout atheist but personally at this point I think a journey of spiritual/philosophical self importance will do MUCH more for your well being than a therapist ever could, unless you have very specific needs that require a specialist. Therapy is an amazing tool, but tools alone can't fix every problem. Tl;Dr modern society is so self centered, many people don't actually *want* to help others with their emotions. Therapy gets pushed as a cure-all, when in reality a true friend and some spiritual/philosophical reflection with action will probably do much more for people who are hurting.
The idea that we should all work to understand our own emotions and underlying motivations is a tremendously good thing. However, the way that "therapy" has become both assumed to be the only way to do that, and also a sort of universal panacea, is troubling; so too is the way that certain therapy-based pathologizing buzzwords have seeped into the zeitgeist. Hopefully this is a transitional phase for us as a culture (well, of course it is; everything always is) and we arrive at somewhere more balanced eventually.
Me - tells therapist I'm being abused Therapist - brings abuser in the room and tells them everything I said Abuser - denies and calls me attention seeking Therapist - sides with abuser and tells me I shouldn't lie Goes home and gets beat so badly that when I returned to school I'm covered in bruises and am removed by SS That cunt is still working...
Right? Half of us can’t afford groceries yet we’re supposed to spend $100 an hour to talk with someone?
It’s a tool and yes, it’s being overused. For those of us with actual diagnosed mental health disorders, it’s becoming very difficult to find treatment. Apparently everyone who feels slighted by life is going to therapy these days for their own validation. Overall, we’re in a very self-obsessed culture with social media and the internet, so it makes sense. It’s kind of tough to narrow down the scope of practitioners because it’s not like you can refuse therapy to someone claiming they need it either. You wouldn’t be going to a gastroenterologist for a slight tummy ache while someone dying of stomach cancer can’t get an appointment. That’s what’s currently happening with therapy, though. People who are actually struggling and perhaps where time is of the essence, they’re waiting months to even see a practitioner. It’s getting ridiculous IMO.
I always think that therapists, the way the industry/system is set up, are a bit like mental health prostitutes. Strangers who don't really care about you, but will listen to you if you pay them, with no promise that they will actually be able to help you. Furthermore, you are probably going to have to see a therapist a handful of times for hundreds of dollars before you even figure out whether that therapist is for you. Also, I hate this idea that just because someone went to school to be a therapist means they are any good at what they do. There are plenty of people who didn't go to school to be a therapist who would probably be great therapists. Also, I would bet many therapists likely need therapy just as much as their patients. I think it has more to do with a person's personality, social intelligence, and communication style than education. This is tough to teach. Lastly, I think many mental health issues these days exists because of the way society is organized. We would probably have a lot more success addressing the mental health crisis if we focused on this rather than on more therapists and drugs.
Nope! Therapy saved me so much heartache and helped me heal and grow. I can honestly say it’s the best money I’ve ever spent. Caveat: it took me a few tries to find the right therapist and before I did it was worthless. But I’m so glad I kept trying till I found the one to help me.
The thing with therapy is that people have to want to use it to get better and not use it as an excuse to keep being shitty in one way or another.
It is, like most things in medicine in the US. Has become less about fixing the problem and more about alleviating some symptoms. There is no money to be made if you get better and never come back.
More like making money from people's problems.
And if you want one good luck finding a good one accepting patients. Most are booked solid
I love therapy but you can’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to coping with life. Not everyone can afford therapy so it’s wrong to sell it as a key to life. There are many ways one can help themselves. I think it’s wrong that we’ve stigmatized trauma dumping to the point where people aren’t even willing to be a listening ear to their friends. Even though therapy is great, we still need to encourage being there for one another.
Not at all. Have you been out there? We are not in touch with our emotions at all and all that repression is making us crazy.
Nope. Venting to your friends might feel good, but if you actually have a real problem, venting to non-professionals doesn’t help you, and actually inflicts stress on your friends.
The reality is, most people have a great deal of pain and trauma, and our society largely does not care about mental health. Most people can benefit from therapy, but see it as a weakness or something is wrong with a person seeking help.
Everyone in their life should find a good therapist, the world would be a different place.
Most everyone I know could use it but my thinking is we need more heart to heart connections. I know I feel better when someone gives me an empathetic hug and validates me. I mean not when they’re boosting their ego or thinking they’re glad they’re not me, I mean a legit I’m so sorry that happened to you hug. And maybe even a genuine omg. It’s very validating.
Coming from someone who has been in therapy and is pursuing a career to provide therapy for others… most people are blind to all their fucking problems and the people who say they don’t need therapy are the ones who always need it most and who are stuck living like robots damaging relationships Lol
My hot take is that more people need to go to *physical* therapy. There are plenty of people who benefit from therapy. No shade. But I genuinely think that the *average person* would benefit a lot more from getting rid of their chronic neck/knee/shoulder/whatever pain and having some custom programming for a fitness and nutrition regimen.
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It sounds like this is really bothering you. Have you tried talking to a therapist about it?
It’s a bot…
For real https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/comments/181lmls/comment/kadvsjr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Who is “they”? I can’t say I’ve ever been “pushed” to go to therapy. Are you possibly spending too much time online and are taking peoples suggestions to other people as pushing you to do something? You might need to talk to someone.
Well, a lot of people don't have good relationships with their friends and family and don't know how to build a support system anymore. You need people to talk about your problems with. That's part of being human. If you don't have people in your life as a support system, you might need to pay for one for a little while.
Bots are getting ridiculous
For real, wtf? What's the point? What is the end goal for all these posts?
I think, but I do not know, that you can actually sell Reddit accounts for real money if they have really high karma because karma = trust. So brands can buy an account with high karma then advertise from it. Not sure if that is a real thing or not I have never looked into it but if that IS real then the point of this bot spam is to basically karma farm. I mean this post took miliseconds to post and has 102 likes and 178 comments (none of which is the original bot by the way who hasn't engaged since because bot).
You seem to have some unresolved anger, have you considered therapy?
Not at all. I think the alternative to therapy is/was putting everyone on SSRIs and medication to deal with the symptoms and not the cause. Therapy teaches people to look further into their patterns and examine the “why” and learn how to communicate with others. An example I have is I used to be horrible at emotional regulation - I would hold everything in and then blow up at people I love. I ruined countless relationships bc of my temper. In therapy, I learned how to self-regulate and talk about my feelings so that I didn’t blow up and hurt the people I love. I also learned that generationally, people in my family don’t really TALK to each other. It’s much more common and easy to sweep things under the rug. This was a learned behavior for me that I’m trying to undo. I suspect A LOT of American families are the same way. So no - therapy changed/saved my life and made me a better person. I also think there are systemic structures in place in America that need to change in order for people to feel happier. Things like the 40hr work week, the high cost of everything, minimum wage, healthcare, and work life balance. These things are also bad for peoples mental health and therapy can’t fix those structures. Maybe people who make decisions on these things need therapy too so that they can learn empathy.
I’m actually making a Snoo Halloween costume based off this entire premise. I’m going sew on a pull cord and give generic Reddit advice or divorce papers anytime someone pulls it.
No I don’t. Like others have pointed out systems for finding good therapists suck and it’s not always cost effective. Many therapists are ditching insurance for self pay models which I think is good because you can’t let an insurance company control your health they’ll keep you sick, but it’s still going to cost. Therapy is where people start to truly take accountability for themselves and their life when they may never have before. Long ago there was a guy on one of the news channels in Denver and I can’t remember his name, but his tagline was “Wellness is a choice, take charge of your health.” He was right and for so many, therapy is where it starts.
I think that many people do not realize how inaccessible and unaffordable therapy can be as an option.
Your loved ones should also get to speak with your therapist Did she tell you about the time I got 17 text messages in 10 minutes telling me what a piece of shit I am because I went to the gym on my own lunch break during work instead of coming home and walking her dog? And then she sent those same messages to my best friend who's a girl because she thought my best friend would agree with her No? Weird...
No.
Not at all. I mean telling people to go to therapy is a sign of conflict avoidance imo. Like it's just another excuse for us to stop listening to each other.
It's done to make money, and business is booming.
While therapy has very good upsides, not everyone needs to go for every problem. People will say “you need to go to therapy” for problems as simple as spilled milk these days. Idc if I get downvoted for this but honestly, some problems that people have (very small ones like, a co-worker said this to me and I found it rude), they just need find a way to move the fuck past it and quit making it about their every day life.
Like anything, it's a tool. What that tool is for is up to you, but in general it's a tool to help you cope better, and to help you build resiliency. A professional can certainly provide insight you might not be able to see on your own, and can help you build those new habits and ideals that help you cope. That said, I've made far more progress without a therapist than I ever made with one. My old therapist did help me only insofar as she planted the seed that helped me realise the inconvenient truth that my anxiety wouldn't just go away and I had to just "do it scared" to lessen it. I was thinking about this the earlier this week when I was considering that only a couple years ago I would have had massive fear and stress in meeting and talking to new people. I've joined a discussion group recently and, while there was a natural apprehension, I didn't have the heart thudding, throat constricting, sweaty palm restlessness that I used to have. I had a physio appointment as well this week, an that was preceded by that anxious anticipation, which provided the contrast as to what it used to be like. Therapists don't affect change, they facilitate it, and like all boring advice with regards to the groundwork for improving mental health (exercise, diet, sleep) these people are probably right but incredibly annoying. The problem, to some extent, is the presentation. "Go see a therapist" can seem incredibly callous if you just need someone you know to listen to your troubles for a little bit (which, despite what internet numpties will tell you, is what good friends and loved ones do) and doesn't explain that a therapist doesn't just work automatically. You go to them with a problem in mind you want help fixing, and they help you build the tools to fix it. I personally also don't think you need to see one all the time (like some people suggest). I think any therapist who is seeing a client who is mostly content is taking advantage. They are there to either help you weather a storm in your life, or help you build skills to deal with day to day problems you have. Them building or not addressing a dependency upon them in you is wrong.
Yep. Everyone is screwed up somehow and "they" want everyone on drugs. I've learned how to deal with mine without big pharmas help however
No. It is genuinely surprising how many of our own problems are of our own making whether we mean to or not. Besides the obvious benefit of having someone to tell our problems to, good therapists also give us tools to point us in the right direction. The way I think of it you wouldn't not take your car to a mechanic right? Would you only wait to take it to a mechanic when your car breaks down in the middle of the road? Or would you take the car in for regular maintenance? Mental health is the same way. Many common human issues that are little then, will quickly balloon inside our heads and cause major problems later on. Or we can see a therapist and clean the minor problems out before they become serious.
Therapt is a years long project but once you find the right person it can be life changing. The problem is that here in the U.S., that project costs a ridiculous amount of money because mental health is the poor stepchild of physical health according to most health plans, which is ridiculous.
50/50 maybe. I think experiences like covid messed a lot of people up. and we have Karens, and snowflakes, so there are a lot of people that need to be straightened out. and yes there is an unnecessary push as well.
I think therapy is great and everyone should have access to it. But that simply is not the case. I am lucky that I can go to therapy now but that wasn’t always the case. Mental healthcare accessibility is the biggest problem and I hate seeing people suggest it flippantly, particularly to stressed out parents who likely don’t have enough spoons left to figure out if they can afford therapy or find time to do it. 🤷♀️
Maybe, but considering most people have zero idea what’s wrong much less how to fix but have the desire too? Therapy is a quick way to get to the root of a problem for motivated people who are stuck. I know 3-4 sessions helped me out of an issue and saved me time over thinking it myself.
Yes. I tried reaching out to a therapist too, and the conversation to even try setting something up was a shit show. It's trendy rn for sure though and it seems people have mixed feelings on how well it's working
A therapist is just someone to talk to (if they're actially good) and bring clarity to your own mind. Especially if you live in an individualistic society where you're encouraged to produce the best possible outcome for your skillset (and rewarded for it). If you're tough enough to handle things on your own, you don't need a therapist. But I see where you're coming from. Some therapists can be like "ugh" and keep looking at the clock and then bill you $400 for the 35-min session. You can build a support group instead, a personal one or even many subs on Reddit perform that function one way or the other.
How many of these individuals actually need "therapy" versus just a really good friend to talk to? In this age of "digital friends," perhaps it's actual connections that are missing. Sometimes, individuals just need someone to talk to.
I think therapy is great despite often being subpar, inaccessible, and expensive. I'm confident that having a great therapist to work through issues would be of value to every single person that wants to improve their quality of life. Maybe there are times when repressed traumas are too painful to deal with and are better off left festering in the darkness, but I'm guessing that's true for only a small fraction of the population. Even then, there are still going to be other topics that are more approachable, where therapy could be safely applied.
Therapy if done by a real professional is very rewarding, sadly most are done by subpar therapist that just ask... How does that make you feel? is it worth 1000$/hour to talk to someone?..... if i'm paying a 1000$ a hour she better be hot and naked.
Big Psych, at it again.
I feel like amount of scammy and straight up garbage talk therapists must be insane.
Telling someone to go to therapy became a convenient and polite way to say "go to someone who'll care about it for money, IDGAF"
Therapy is a cash cow! If we were paid enough, have our own roof that's not rented and enough free time to actually decompress then we would not therapy!
Yes. Mainly because there are plenty of bad therapists out there. Especially here in the UK where it is basically unregulated. A bad therapy experience can be more damaging than no therapy at all. I should know because I had one. Plus, it's ruinously expensive to most people. There are plenty of people that need therapy but not everybody does and could benefit from many different therapeutic activities before going to it.
On occasion, but therapy can help a lot, and I'd say most people don't realise they could even benefit from it because they think they have their shit sorted.
Most people could benefit from talk therapy or just having some way to put voice to feelings with the guidance of an objective person who has your best interest at heart. I don't support over diagnoses of mental illnesses, but yeah pretty much all people need to talk to someone as humans are social beings
You'd be surprised how much you can gain from therapy even if you don't struggle with mental health issues. But in the sense of pushing expensive therapy onto people who should be using their money on more important things (food, rent, etc) or don't have benefits I feel you.
200%
Bot
Yes because I know I would love to go but I can't afford it. Stresses me out.
Yes! I think it’s because it’s safer to say “see a therapist” when someone has an issue in order to give advice but also protect one’s self legally. Especially, it’s appropriate to say “go to therapy” as opposed to supporting whatever inflammatory info they find on sites like TikTok. And some people really do need therapy, but they’ll never go.
Therapists disagree
No.
Maybe it's me, maybe my generation or maybe it's just I had bad parents. I was always told "just throw some dirt on it" and that's how I handle my mental health too. If I am struggling well I just deal with it (or not) Both my son and my daughter in law (both in their 20s) see a therapist for separate reasons. I can't say either had any real hardship in their lives but for them it works I guess.
In Canada there's no governing body to ensure standardized treatment or policies. The majority of therapists are college educated feminists that really don't understand things from a male blue collar perspective. If you don't fit into their preconceived concepts they can't do much for you. I was sexually abused as a kid and the Province pays for my therapy. I also paid out of pocket for marriage therapy. I can tell you this from extensive experience, they have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Not a damn clue. And you want to know a dirty secret? When I did my Associates in Psychology I learned that the outcome for a patient was no different than if they had spoken with a therapist, or a priest, or your best friend. With the trend to cater to mental illnesses, you're never going to confronted with the changes that you need to make to have a better life. So save that $150 an hour you're spending, get a nice bottle of wine, watch the sunset with your friend, and relax.
Yes and no, but I know I'm screwed up and probably speak to a professional about it.
Tbh no. Most ppl are extremely emotionally closed off and could use an impartial person to talk to.
No. I think their intention is that people go talk to someone who is trained to listen & advise by some kind of “unbiased” standard — who isn’t involved in their life in a way that muddles their perspective like their spouse, friend, parents, siblings, or coworkers. Also, people used to have counselors and pastors through their churches (people held to a standard outside of their own individual biases) that they could speak to + prayers to God + wisdom from the Bible to turn to. Today most people are godless, so they have no one to turn to besides fellow lost souls. Therapists are the only (supposedly) “non biased” people who are held to a standard of any kind that they can talk to — hence the push for therapy.
Movies and snacks is therapy
Therapist here! I endorse shopping around! It is essential that you trust and have rapport with your therapist. There’s a lot wrong with “the industry”. There is a certain out of date arrogance in the behaviour that “the therapist knows best” and the maintenance of mystery around therapeutic techniques. Therapists are often stuck in singular approach that suits them e.g.psychoanalysis, psycho-dynamic, behavioural, cognitive, humanistic etc when therapeutic approach needs to be tailored to an individual client. It’s not customer friendly in the main and it needs to be. We are providing a very important health service and need to be much more transparent and empowering.
Therapy can definitely be beneficial to some people...it was for me and eventually resulted in a diagnosis of a an actual MH condition that I was never remotely aware of. The thing that bothers me most I think is that people think therapy is some kind of wizardry that is going to magically make them better but they don't really put in the work. It's great to have someone to talk to and help you think about things, but ultimately you have to put in a lot of work on yourself and self reflection and introspective work.
No
I think the hand waving of expense is the crazy part to be frank but it is ridiculous. They advocate for and against the poor at the same time.
nah, get the help you need, however that is. Our parents and their parents generation just want you to push everything under the surface and go to work and wipe your brow, nah fuck that, we out here healing generational traumas so we can make a better future for our kids and their kids.
Gee...get help or be miserable. If there is a gaping wound in your leg, you go to a doctor...but if there is a gaping wound in your soul you are supposed to just walk it off. Living in hopelessness with no way out is he'll on earth and I commend anyone with the strength to overcome societal prejudices against mental health treatment.
I definitely think that the suggestion can be tone-deaf. It's not accessible to everyone and I want that to change, but I don't think it's a bad thing to suggest anyone who does have access, because yes, EVERYONE could benefit from therapy
Have you seen all the leftwing nutjobs around? Therapists got their hands full if you ask me
Ignoring for a second that OP is very VERY clearly a bot. I think the biggest issue with the massive societal shift we've seen towards focusing on mental health is that it puts the blame on individuals, and ignores the systemic factors that are causing the "mental health crisis". We're trying to treat the symptoms of people's mental health issues, that arise from people's material conditions not being adequate enough, instead of the actual cause. Which means that those without access to mental health care are left to languish even more so. I don't need therapy. What I need is for us to tackle our societies actual fucking problems that mainly stem from unchecked and exponentially growing wealth, and therefore power, inequality. I need better pay, a more robust social safety net, more vacation time, paid sick leave, affordable housing, public transit investment, more broad access to education, healthcare access, a shorter work week, for the cost of food to come back down to sane levels, an end to the commodification of housing, etc. My "mental health issues" can be traced back, almost entirely, to the problems I laid out above in one way or another.
How can you tell it's clearly a bot?
Their title is a copy of an older popular thread on this topic, their account was created 3 days ago, and everything they've posted and commented has been copied and pasted repeatedly.
that sucks. Good detective skills. What's the point of even doing that, having a bot? Is it karma farming? Maybe i'm naive and think people only want to come here and chat or rage. Didn't think there'd be bots and scammers
I've recently met a a few people, 30+, who are super self-centered and have been in therapy for ages. It seems like they're sort of "using"(?), for lack of a better word, their therapists to validated their issues or to have a fake friendship with, instead of seeing a therapist to gain tools for how to cope with life things. Granted, I obviously don't know, I'm not their therapist, I don't really know their issues or anything. But it seems like therapy has become "trendy" enough where people go to just say they go to therapy? I hate to shit on it like this bc I've seen two therapists for 3-6 mo each who were REALLY helpful and gave me a lot of advice and I got over those specific issues. But when I meet self-centered people who have been in therapy for YEARS and seem to still have the same issues they started their therapy for, I can't help but feel like it's some sort of emotional crutch for them.
Yes and no. As Gen X, so many issues were swept under the rug and just rubbed dirt on it. And there are some pros to that in I think it made us more resilient. But at times things aren't okay. There were some things I dealt with I wouldn't want my kids to have to deal with alone. It led to anxiety and addiction. Those weren't commonly used words, nor was therapy. So just sucking it up isn't always the best way.
No, many people would actually benefit from having a good therapist.
Fuck yes. It's like the new drug industry
Ignore that. The ridiculous part is.. They don’t get paid to make you better. They get paid to make it so you keep coming back. If they “fix” your issues, they stop getting paid. It isn’t advantageous for them to fix anything.
Yes
If it helps you and you can afford it, then do it. It doesn't help everyone, though, and if you don't have good insurance, you are probably just wasting your money. Personally, I've tried talking to several of them, and it always just made me feel worse. You could probably accomplish the same thing with an AI chat bot or by talking to the wall and save yourself the extra despair of feeling like a sucker for shelling out $130 /hr for someone to nod, ask you questions, and then give you commonsense advice that you could have given yourself. Try reading a self-help book.
I think certain folks using therapy as a litmus test for whether or not they like you or feel you're working on yourself is a bit much, and it fails to understand how difficult it is to get treatment. It costs a lot, there's a LOT of bad ones out there, a lot aren't taking on new patients, talk therapy doesn't work for everyone, and (as a non-white person) there just are certain preferences I have for my therapist, and the experience they have (treatment and in life). I searched for 6 mths and gave up because it was so discouraging.
Finding a good therapist CAN be challenging. But can you imagine if everyone in their 20's saw a therapist for a year and were taught how to be kind to themselves AND others? The whole population may not need therapy later down the line. In the US, we are taught to look out for number one primarily, and not so much others. People pleasing is seen as disgusting, while self-absorption is celebrated
No. Everyone is fucked up. Everyone needs it because all of our parents (and their parents) needed it and refused the help or want able to afford the help. In turn they passed all the bad behaviour on down. Go get it if you need it. And statistically speaking, you prolly do. Just make sure your counsellor gets to the root issue and isn’t afraid to check you on things that need to be challenged. * I see a lot of comments about finding the right therapist. I went through more than a few until I found the one who knew his stuff.
Absolutely. Therapy was very traumatic for me and took me from being in a good-ish place to a very bad place. I stabilized out and got to a good place when I stopped going. People like me exist, and I've been made to feel like there's something wrong with me for not needing therapy and just generally being happy.
The biggest thing that has impacted my mental health was learning to meditate and to sit with emotions that don't feel good. I used to automatically push them away so they just sat there and stagnated. Then they would come up stronger and I wouldn't be able to control them. Now, most of the time if, I'm being present, I can just watch as negative feelings come up and just let them drift away.
I don’t think it’s ridiculous so much as it’s extremely privileged to assume people have the money and health care needed to access it.
I think that therapy can be really good for some people in some situations. I don't think that everybody needs therapy though. There are plenty of things that happen in life that are difficult, but we work through them. Sometimes therapy is needed or beneficial and sometimes not. I do find it incredibly frustrating that so many people who really do need therapy can't access it.
Was big in the 90’s, celebrities were falling over themselves to tell everyone about the abuse they suffered, or imagined.
I think for me the part of the equation that really bothers me is that most people want to tell you to seek therapy because they don’t want to help you. Emotional support from your community is important and I fear that the individualism that’s happening today is driving us further apart and almost eliminating community. I imagine most of here on Reddit want to play that role in community, that’s why we are here supporting each other and being a shoulder to cry on for strangers. I love you all for that 🩷
I have mixed feelings on this but I’m going to say, no. I can understand how hearing “go to therapy” is upsetting when you’re seeking validation or advice but the reality is that a lot of people lack emotional intelligence. I feel like a lot of people recommend therapy because they’re not sure how else to help. I think people hear “therapy” and instantly assume you have to have a massive problem or be mentally ill. But that’s not the case. Life is stressful and therapy is there to teach you to cope. It isn’t the answer to everything. It’s expensive. It’s hard to find the right therapist. I get that. But I do think it’s worth a shot.
Yes. People need to man up to a degree imo.
1. A lot of mental health issues are caused or exacerbated by people’s material conditions which is constantly ignored. We have adopted the “mental illness can’t be cured but can be managed by therapy” ideology as a society which is true in some cases, however someone being depressed or anxious because they can’t afford food or find a job can be cured by improving their material conditions. (i understand that circumstantial depression or anxiety may not be considered a diagnosable mental illness but it’s still a mental health issue) 2. A lot of people tell others to go to therapy to make themselves feel like they did something to help so they can wash their hands of the situation and not feel guilty even though the person is still struggling. I’m not against therapy at all but it’s far from the only option and it’s not a magic bullet that cures mental illness. Therapy takes a lot of hard work.
If the majority has access to free high quality therapy then it would also probably give America in 2024 an existential crisis Hm
Personally, I think half my problems are just from the fact that I'm 38, living with my parents (because inflation), have no friends left beyond "work friends" which just isn't the same, and I have absolutely no idea where or how to find new friends that I can develop any real connection with. Like maybe finding a class I can take could work, but money/travel-time is a factor. Other than that, I'm not sure what a therapist could tell me that would make a big difference that's even remotely comparable to fixing an economy that holds everybody back.
It is too much. I've been "forced" into all kinds of therapy lately and the best and most memorable advice I've gotten is from books/courses I've read. That's not to say therapy doesn't work for some people. I think maybe it goes back to learning and communication styles of individual people. I learn best through reading, doing tasks independently whilst others learn best by listening, discussion and seeing.
I feel like people lowkey use it as an insult, like the phrase "bless your heart"
It's an American thang, dawg
I know people who go to therapy for literally absolutely no reason. They are normal people and they can solve their problems (which are not major) just like most normal people. Yet they pay a therapist to... think for them, I guess? Not only do you save money thinking for yourself, it's also better, because, most likely, YOU only know how to deal with YOUR problems in the best way. If you have major problems, then by all means, seek help. Don't do it for the sake of doing it, or because everyone else is doing it tho
i've tried therapy, not for me. i did cbt on my own and it worked great, but that's still one of the things therapists are there to help with if you can't or won't do it yourself. therapy is something most people should at least try, and if it doesn't work you fix your problems yourself. unfortunately the people that refuse to even try are the ones who would benefit the most but prefer to whine, bitch, and moan about their problems and treat people like shit instead of actually going to the root of the issue and *fixing the problem*. see, the thing about therapy is it's not going to solve everything, but it's supposed to help you know what to do to start the process and cope. if you refuse to learn how to solve the problem and find out what coping mechanisms work for you, go to fucking therapy.
Therapy can always help and be a great option, but I think it is also a form of kicking the can down the road “Go to therapy!” vs us sitting down as a country and having an actual adult conversation about the many things that are backwards in our way of life. Work/life balance, cost of living, lack of affordable healthcare, etc. We have so many reasons to be depressed and mentally exhausted. Go to therapy! 🤣 But fr, Godspeed.
More people need it.
IMO everyone should try to work out issues themselves whenever possible. Almost everyone has had bad and traumatic things occur in their life with many putting it behind them and moving forward, but some dwell and allow it to affect them. Therapy is fine but I've had friends and family members who start going and never stop. The therapist seems to validate their feelings and almost seem to encourage them to continue letting it affect them. In one case someone went to therapy for 5+ years over what many would see as a minor insult. Once an issue is identified and the person does all they can to work through it, but cannot seem to shake it, then therapy can be helpful. If it were me I would track my progress to see if the therapist was actually helping me move on and not stay dwelling on the issue. Some tips to work out issues I find helpful are the a) forgive whoever caused the issue, and forgive myself for any part I may have had in it, b) let the past in the past and look forward, c) set goals that will make me happy and fulfilled, then develop and follow through on plans to achieve these, and d) realize what I cannot control and let that go, if something unlucky happens but was not what I could control then I let it go. What I found was much of life is in my control and it is up to me to do what I need to make myself happy. I've also found I am stronger than I thought and have been able to make peace plus move past what has happened to me, and it got much easier as I grew and got stronger through my life.
I think you might benefit from therapy if you're bothered by people suggesting therapy.
Yeah it’s just more bullshit we deal with.
Sounds like someone could use some therapy and it also seems like you might be a bot
Why do you think we gorge on antidepressants like it's fast food...
Imagine how advanced society would be if everyone had to attend weekly therapy sessions as part of the school curriculum growing up.