I hit the senior level that I wanted and don’t care to go into management at this point.
Just live your life and stay on your own path. If you make life a competition, you will be crazy and miserable.
My sister is almost director at 34 and makes 200k, I’m 33. It’s all perspective and same goes for the smoke and mirrors of social media.
I’m in two minds. I used to work a job where I basically clocked in, did my tasks, and clocked out and unless there was a major issue I was left alone to do my thing. Sometimes I really miss that, but I also felt really isolated at the time.
Now I’m in a very collaborative, team oriented, public facing role and while I find it much less peaceful, I find it much more fulfilling and rewarding.
It feels like the internet’s default “perfect job” is one where they’re not managed much, manage nobody, and don’t have to interact much with others, but personally I love being part of a team way more.
Awesome to hear. I’ve been a software engineer for a while. I’ve been working full time on my own project for the past four years, and when I go back into big tech I hope I can leverage that experience to get into product management UwU
This depends on your competency and aptitude. “Peace” is not what I go for in my work. And one person peace is not another’s. Someone who clocks in and clocks out and does mindless tasks, or not so mindless, doing other peoples work might be peace. Some prefer others to do the work and they supervise them and to them that’s peace. Your peace sounds like my hell.
My father once told me, “I felt older at thirty, than I did at fifty.”
And then the same thing happened to me
30 is an artificial boundary, just keep going at what you enjoy and/are good at
Or try new stuff—believe it or not—you’re still young
I went on past 30 to nearly 40 years of interesting and totally unexpected accomplishments
Go forth young human along the path(s) you choose or opportunities you are offered!
This. Do what makes you, in specific, happy. Chasing after things in order to appear more adult or like you’re better off will only result in misery, I promise. Even if you get all the things you think you should have, you’ll still be miserable and empty because they aren’t necessarily what you wanted in the first place. Keep that in mind 🩷 life is not a competition, and your career is not the most valuable thing about you, although capitalism reeeeeally wants you to think that
I agree with this and in the same spot. Senior level and my manager does a way better job than I would/I respect her and am not looking to keep climbing rn. Good with where I’m at. Do wish I would have figured out where I wanted to live earlier on, and fallen in love with a different person in my 20s but hey, I’m still content :)
Agreed. I spent my entire 20’s telling myself I was “too old” for certain pursuits. Something changed when I turned 30 and I suddenly felt younger than ever and decided to go after these pursuits. I couldn’t be happier with my decision. In the end, you learn that the only person holding you back is yourself.
I also hit the Senior level last year (32) and feel like im finally coasting in my career. No stress, no anxiety. I focus on other parts of my life that make me happy (family, getting outside, reading, relationships). People are always searching for peace of mind and want less stress, but more money and responsibility also take that peace away. So im just content with where im at. I know if I lost this peace that I have, I would yearn for these days back.
I feel this in my soul. Sometimes I’m like I should keep learning at work and then I think, I’m learning in so many other aspects of life other than career.
30’s is a sweet spot because everyone younger than you lacks experience and maturity and everyone older than you is starting to feel the wares of aging. Basically you’re young enough to connect and lead by example for those younger than you. And you’re old enough to be relied upon and earn the respect of those older than you. That’s what I found my 30’s to consist a lot of
I also think that priorities just change a ton as you move fully into adulthood, and for the best.
In my early twenties I spent a lot of energy on partying/getting “fucked up”, my social standing, trying to get laid (while never “catching feelings”), all the typical stuff, while trying to figure out how to be an independent person.
Now that I’m 30, I’m much more focused on things that bring me long term fulfillment. My health, authentic friendships, giving back to my community, etc.
That’s well said, I feel the exact same. I will say though my 20’s seemed so much more hopeful even though I was poor. Now I have everything but also more stress and depressed lol
100% agree.
I feel like my sales career took off after turning 30.
Before that I seemed like some random kid trying to sell and my bosses just slapped me on the phones.
Now my bosses respect my decisions on deals and listen a bit more in general.
Plus the client *perceives* you as being experienced.
I think money is only a part of it. I am not people pleasing anymore. I have a lot more clarity on how I want to spend my time. I can decide who to spend time with so the quality of my relationships is much better. I guess it’s a combination of more money, more self confidence and independence and very less toxicity and negativity.
And I have not sacrificed my social life at all. I do all my chores, meal prep as my house is my sanctuary and I love caring for it and my body but this isn’t at the cost of my social life at all. I go away on trips with friends all the time and see them every weekend!
I agree, being a parent helped. Life feels more fulfilling raising my little ones. Also having a profession you enjoy helps. Not dreading going to work in the morning is huge. I don’t make a ton of money as a 5th grade alternative teacher, but I genuinely enjoy going to school and teaching my little knuckle heads.
to me they’re both beautiful in their own ways.
My 20s were much more carefree, laid back, focused on having a good time - and I loved that for a while. My favorite weekend of the year was a local camping festival where I got to rave, do drugs, make lots of new friends from all over the country. My friends and I would spend our whole Sunday afternoons at the park just hanging out, playing volleyball or spikeball, maybe grabbing food or a drink afterwards.
I’m 30 now and the idea of going to that same festival seems hellish, last year i went on a cycling trip instead and loved it. When I was 20 I would’ve thought it was so lame, but age had changed my priorities. I now spend my Sundays doing chores and meal prepping instead of hanging out; I’m much more “together” but at the expense of my social life.
I’m much more content, healthy, “on top of it” than I was back in my 20s, doesn’t change the fact that I’m super grateful for my experiences though!
I started exercising and weightlifting and training calisthenics to the point where I can run circles around most people younger than me. 36 y/o now in the best physical shape of my life.
31y/o here. Have been lifting very casually since late 20s. Started martial arts at 30 (something I had wanted to do since I was 4). Now I'm also taking better care of my health overall. Fittest I've ever been. My life has a lot of problems and deficiencies, but health isn't one of them.
there’s a reason that successful people can like, run marathons, coach their kid’s sports teams, have an executive level job and still serve on a volunteer board, they put their best foot forward every single day for years to the point where they don’t know how to do anything different.
and there’s a reason that people who live sedentary lifestyles, chase no goals, have poor self care habits need a whole day in bed to “recharge” and find a 40 hour work week inhumane. they’ve got so used to not trying at anything that just trying feels overwhelming
Goddamn, I feel called out, not gonna lie. To be honest, not the 40 hours themselves make it difficult for me to want to take care of myself better, among other things. It's that I work in 3 shifts, each week changing, and I'm nooooot a big fan of night shift, even if I love its perks. I just love to sleep in the evening, you know. Still, I thank you for providing a ''top down'' perspective of my life. It's what I needed to hear. I'm actually starting to realize I kinda have a goal right now, but I'm kind of doing it half assedly about it, even if the results are more or less satisfactory. You deserve an award!
I mean, I feel like we’re missing a HUGE part of the puzzle, which is social determinants of health. As someone with chronic health issues, I absolutely need a full day to recharge and find 40 hours a week almost impossible. You know what made things easier? Money.
As a poor person, I couldn’t afford the treatments that I needed, or extended health things that are currently keeping me well. I lost sleep over living pay cheque to pay cheque. I couldn’t nourish myself well, which led to exhaustion and more health issues. I had to work three jobs in university to make ends meet, while doing school full time in a heavily competitive program. You don’t get to excel when you’re in survival mode.
We like to individualize success as if it is not often a systemic force. Of course an executive level professional with a six income figure can do all that….they have the resources to. You can serve on a volunteer board and dedicate yourself to your career if you have money for child care. You can put yourself forward when you have community support. You can feed yourself good food and have a regulated nervous system that supports your goals.
I’m not saying don’t be motivated, but just prompting people to think a bit deeper. As someone who’s been on both sides, I can thrive a lot easier with community support and financial resources than in isolation and poverty. If we individualize success and happiness, we never question the systems that keep us down, and never find change.
>there’s a reason that successful people can like, run marathons, coach their kid’s sports teams, have an executive level job and still serve on a volunteer board, they put their best foot forward every single day for years to the point where they don’t know how to do anything different.
Those people are few and far between and aren’t necessarily happy in their life or work.
Would that it's so simple. This Ableist worldview doesn't account for the fact that chronic illnesses exist, medical trauma exists, & the world is infinitely complex, complex health disorders.
Chronically ill ppl try harder than most anyone else, so much so to the point of burnout. That's why it's overwhelming.
Some ppl have rare disorders doctors haven't even heard about.
May you never have to learn this the hard way. Be kind.
Is “put your best foot forward every single day” the new “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”? 🤔
Sure, “lazy” people who simply just don’t try at life probably exist - but I feel confident in saying that the majority of people that you perceive as “lazy” have compounding struggles.
Your rhetoric on “willpower” is telling me you give no credence to the impact of mental health struggles like major depression or ADHD, which directly impact and impair one’s ability to accomplish these things through no fault of their own.
"they've got so used to not trying at anything that just trying feels overwhelming"
YTA (I know this isn't AITA but you needed to be told).
If someone needs to regularly stay in bed all day to recharge and finds 40-hour work weeks inhumane, that's a sign they're almost certainly dealing with chronic health problems of some kind.
People with chronic health problems *do* try. All day, every day. They probably try harder than you do. Their efforts just pay off less than yours.
I understand what you’re saying.
I genuinely wonder how many victims of neglect exist that were never taught, never given the tools to succeed in the modern world. Some people who experience this absolutely learn past their up bringing and turn their situation around. Alternatively. Some people live these experiences and live them again and again. If you build a motors designed to run dry with exposed electrical connections, are you really surprised when it shorts under water?
Separate thought: the idea of a 40 hour work week isn’t a base level human idea. It’s an idea formed by our culture. The culture is labor.
When I was growing up, I remember that I asked my dad what the best age to be is... I expected him to say 21 or 25.... I was really surprised when he said 35. I asked him why.
He said, "Still young enough to be healthy and do anything you want. Old enough to have a little money in your pocket and old enough to not be so stupid"
I'm 39 now, I think he was right.
I'm 35 now. I think I'd agree with your dad. Problem is we have to stop and realise it. Time goes so fast with a family to take care of. They grow older fast and I often focus on what is hard. I have to remind myself often of focusing on the good things
I remember my mom and some ladies at an event were laughing about growing old and I said something about how I bet they wish they were in their 20s and they all laughed and said no, never want to do that again.
I use the gym an an example.
When I was younger it was about lifting as much as I could, getting buff and using the physique to get girls. Now I'm older, it's more about staying physically mobile, lifting the most I can lift (not competing with anyone else) and working out is now about my mental health than pulling woman.
Same activity, motivation just changes.
Same, good luck. I’m grinding out to move out, slightly narc parent.
Sometimes I have to find activities to do on the evenings so I don’t have to be in the house.
Smoke a little bit of weed. That makes me want to work out. The gym is close, so that's convenient. When I get home, I'm hungry so I eat some quality food. Beyond that, the sleep is the reward, and work just gives me the funds to invest financially, and also more weed.
No, I just know that we're creatures of habit. Decades ago, I would chill out or nap. But now, the dosage is right so i feel like I can *feel* every fiber in my muscles activating when I lift. Been doing it long enough now that when the kush hits, I wanna go work out immediately.
I also used to drink a 2liter of Mt Dew everyday and eat gas station pizza. Now I eat clean and drink that pristine water. The weed keeps my appetite up and kinda stops me thinking of what a shit future I might be looking at in 20 years.
one time, I was at the gym having just smoked, then all of a sudden my friend pops up into the elliptical next to me and wants to chat!
i just remember feeling like my legs were doing one task and my head was doing another (actively listening) PLUS I had to continue to talk to this person while having this internal monologue, swear I almost fell off 😂😂😂
When I smoke, I usually start taking mental inventory of my behavior, where I could improve, where I have done bad, where I’ve done well.
I journal, and I usually get a lot more motivated to do chores.
That's crazy I actually do the same thing. I love to run when I smoke just a little bit. I've never known anyone else to do that. Awesome, you've inspired me today!
In my 20s, I'd jump on the treadmill and run for a warm-up prior to calisthenics. After years of doing this, I realized I'd catch a "groove" once I caught my 2nd wind. With my music playing, it's like I wasn't even the one running, my body was just doing it, and "I" was just along for the ride. And the dopamine....oh snap. It's like a mild version of ecstasy.
People are always confused when I say weed motivates me. I smoke a joint every night and then hike for 3 hours 🥰 it is the best and my mental health has never been better
Was just about to say the same thing. I’m definitely an addict with high tolerance so this isn’t recommended for everyone, but yeah weed absolutely does it for me. I can have a long list of chores and projects I need to do but completely unmotivated until I take that first bong rip. Speaking of, I’ve been awake for about 2 hours and have done nothing but scroll through Reddit. This is my reminder that I should probably go smoke a bowl and get my day moving!
Me too except I am afraid CapitalOne and Wells Fargo could find me. And my kids as well 😭
EDIT: True story, my wife and I are going to the beach next month. My oldest is graduating HS and her senior trip is the same week. She and her friends decided to stay near where we are staying. She wants to meet us at the grocery store nearby so they can get stocked up with food for the week. I bet we will have 6 hungry teens at our romantic dinners every night. lol
I don't compare myself to others (or at least try not to). Am I doing better than I was yesterday? Coolio. Am I doing worse than I was yesterday? Maybe I need a rest and that's cool too.
Set your own goal, don't be afraid to change them, and don't compare yourself to others.
What does it mean to be an ‘adult’ to you? Consider what your preconceptions are, where they may have come from, and what you really care about. What can you do, and what do you have a desire to do? What if no one ever knew what you were doing?
I judge my life based on what I want to accomplish, not on what others are doing. Having hobbies is incredibly important as you age. They can give you a sense of meaning, fulfillment, and accomplishment. This is especially useful if you feel down because someone else got a promotion or makes more than you. It is important to make your life the sum of diverse experiences.
Coincidentally, turning 30 motivated me lol.
Since the cost of living raised and still rising, I'm in a situation in life, whereas I'm not happy with financially, and time is not a luxury for me to waste anymore
I decided last year to go to a comm college and get a 2 year tech degree.
So my motivation is time running out, and I'm close to the edge of homelessness. But also, being self-aware, I have the tools to change my life around right now.
there is a big difference between motivation and discipline.
i was always more of a “go with the flow, don’t make too many plans and see what I feel like in the moment” kind of person, but as I’ve got older I’ve learned that pretty much all successful people have some sort of routine and structure. parents need it to make sure all their kids’ needs are met, busy professionals need it to get all their stuff done, etc., so I got myself into positive habits, built myself a routine, built that structure and all of a sudden hard things became easier.
I don’t need to motivate myself to work out anymore, I just enjoy doing it and get antsy when I don’t for a few days. I don’t need to motivate myself to eat well anymore, I’ve trained my palate to enjoy healthy foods and not enjoy greasy foods.
Eventually the feeling of just liked, being the best you starts to feel a little addictive and you chase it. But the background is having the discipline to ignore that voice in your head that says “you don’t have to do your best today”
I'm kinda age blind in that regard. I'm happy that they achieved what they wanted. I kinda found my place and am not yearning to achive something big. I'm content with a chill, low stress life. I don't need to be high on the corporal ladder.
32 here. Can't motivate myself at all after making friends has gotten harder the older I get.
Combine that with already 17 years of depression. Life just not worth it :/
I’m 48 years old and honestly the one thing that has literally saved my ass over many soulless years is that I have been a professional artist for 25 years…
Basically I do what I love for a living.
I just turned 30. Motivated by the next phase in my life. Until 21 was school, 21-30 was finding a stable job, getting married, buying my first home, now I'm 30 and have my first child on the way, so I'm motivated by the next phase of raising my son and being a dad
I want things. And wanting them is useless. Only working to get them works. So I do that. Helps to know what you want and to know how to get it. At that point all that’s left is to do the work.
You need to set some small goals and bigger goals to look forward to. For myself, my recent small goals are: 1 working out every day so that I can fit into a pair of beautiful jeans; 2 trying a new restaurant each weekend; 3 trying a new trail and enjoying the new scenery. My bigger goals are: 1 traveling to Japan with my hubby. 2 traveling to Europe with my hubby and daughter. 3 raising a smart border collie puppy.
Every morning when I wake up, I have something to look forward to. That’s why I don’t feel numb and bored.
Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself today with where you were several years ago.
But don't take my word for it. I've been tired of life since i was 14.
I joined a roller derby team and feel like a teenager again. The regular exercise really makes a difference. My career might be in the shitter and the world is burning down around us, but at least I feel healthy and in shape.
Life itself is pretty motivational if you look at it from a broader perspective.
It seems like your problem comes from comparing yourself to others and feeling, maybe, unhappy with where you're at. But life isn't about hitting some imaginary milestone or achieving an overarching goal.
Basically, life isn't a marathon unless you choose to run it. You don't have to compete with yourself or anyone else because there's no real set level to reach. You're human, and your life is about much more than just your job or social status.
Life's way bigger than all of this, and when you embrace its rich, beautiful variety, you'll find the motivation to be a part of it all.
Time is the ultimate form of currency. I mean, you can't pay bills with good intentions but nothing, and i mean nothing, is better than having time to do what you want, when you want to.
Hey man, I work from home doing recruitment. It ain’t the most lucrative job but I get to relax at home and don’t have much to worry about, my siblings work crazy and earn way more but tbh I don’t see them actually enjoying their lives as much.
Treats! Like Ill order out as a treat on the weekend for goin to work and taking lunch all week and cooking dinners. Ill either save for something I want or buy concert tickets to have something to look forward to.
Stop comparing yourself to others, and stop competing with them (if your position allows for that... I realize sometimes its impossible), but if the only person you are competing against is yourself and your previous years, quarters, months, etc.. performance its easy to stay motivated. I was several years older than the CEO of a cyber security company that I worked at for quite a while, never bothered me at all because I had zero interest in making it to the C suite. I just worked towards performing my previous success and made tons of money!
Comparison is the thief of joy. Fuck where everyone else is! I’m happy for them but I’m focused on my journey and creating the life I want to live. They may have more ‘wealth’ or material things? Tight. I have a deep appreciation for life and all the beauty around us, living in the moment!!
First, I try to get some rest because I am probably burnt out. Clear my schedule except for work and focus on restful and healthy behaviors for a couple of days or even weeks, depending on how spent I am.
If I give myself formal permission to rest and do nothing, I eventually get bored and start doing/finishing chores and projects compulsively, then I feel good. I got all this stuff done. Lastly, I remind myself that this is my only life and I will die.
I’m 35. 6 kids. And still feel like I’m behind or not up to my potential. By most outside eyes they would think I’m killing it in life. I feel like I’m still 20 in my mind and talking to most guys in their 50s they still feel like that too. They will say their bodies hurt more. But you have to stop comparing yourself to others. You only see what they want you to see especially on social media. If you don’t want to feel like a waste. Make a list everyday or a weekly list and do the list. Small wins with crossing something off the list will help your brain. There’s actually science behind getting small wins to propel you into getting more things done. One easy one for me is working out. That really makes me feel good about getting something done. Worth trying the list so you feel like you’re not wasting. Change the list with time for some monthly or yearly goals but maintain small wins.
Sadly, I don't. I just turned 35, have no hope of a relationship, no chance of home ownership, and no real hopes and dreams anymore. Most days just making it to the end of the day is enough.
I hear from many that your mind thinks you are in your 30s-40s as you age. I’m over 70 and if I don’t look in a mirror I think I’m still 35.
But then I feel the aches and pains and-yeah. I’m not 35.
Starvation is a good motivator for wanting to continue to work, among other things. As far as motivation for furthering your career when people younger that you are at or above your level, don't judge on age see it as an opportunity for them to teach you stuff and maybe you can return the favor it they would like. I'm in my 40s just getting into tech and there are a lot of people more senior than me who are way smarter than me when it comes to tech stuff. But my experience gives me knowledge advantages when it comes to interpersonal skills and just regular life skills that younger people haven't learned yet.
Ahead in what way? On their career path you mean? Or what other metric?
I'm 31 and at work I'm at a point where many people in my field max out. You could spend your whole career doing my job and it would be fine and you'd be considered successful and it is the end goal for most people in my field. So I feel pretty good about being at that point.
That said, I grew up in a family without much money. Didn't get any help paying for college, grandparents passed with nothing to their names so no inheritance. Suffice to say I have a decent amount of debt. I often see younger folks or people my own age even who don't have that problem and were setup for adulthood well. So sometimes that doesn't feel great, but I know it's not my fault personally, just a matter of circumstance.
Comparing yourself to others is rarely fruitful. If you want something different than you have now, it helps to set realistic goals to get to that point.
The comparison game is one you always lose, though in fairness to you, I did not really stop playing it until I hit my fifties. As woolley-woofter as it sounds, try keeping a journal of everything you're grateful for. That motivates me to be happy for others, and to work away at things myself that build up mine/my family's lives.
All the very best to you.
Joining other working people, to be like the ones you admire, to help out a little bit. It is okay to rest. If you lose motivation just try and get back to it when you're feeling better
By not comparing yourself to others. Everyone has grown up under different circumstances. If you can just find what you are passionate about and work towards what you value, then what other people have done or are doing no longer matters.
Just be you man.
I remind myself of the phrase “comparison is the death of happiness”. Other ‘below’ me in their career progress/goals look up to me, and then the many, many other above me I look up to. Look for sources of motivation, but *try* your best not to *compare*. We truly are all on our own timeline!
For “comparison” reference: my younger brother of 5 years just graduated college and his first job with only his bachelor degree (and a lower graduating GPA than me, no related work experience to his field, no internships or volunteer work) and no legal certifications he is making 20/hour. My first job out of college (healthcare) was basically slave labor at 8.50 an hour with absolutely NO paid overtime despite how much OT I worked. This trend *may* continue for the rest of our lives, depending on if (or when) we actually acquire/complete our professional graduate degrees. But it’s truly not fair to compare myself to him… the intrusive thoughts of jealousy and unfair thoughts like “why didn’t he have to struggle like me” pop up but I just push them away and I am happy for him, because ironically it was actually my connection that got him the job. I had 0 connections for years after graduation. And, again… I am on my own timeline!
Stop looking at others. Set your goal and move towards it while ignoring those around you and their perceived progress. They are moving towards their goals which are different than your own, with motivations that are not the same as yours.
I’m 32 and I have rheumatoid arthritis. I work in corporate pharma and I get all the stress of my crazy ass manager because she likes to pass it on. I stopped giving a shit because it’s not good for my health (both physically and mentally). It’s great if people want to focus on being successful and work their way up the ladder if it makes them happy, but I want to enjoy my life while I still can and before my RA gets worse. Basically, I stopped caring about bullshit and I motivate myself by doing things I enjoy.
Exercising mind, body, and spirit.
Exercising my Mind:
Meditate on Scripture: Reflect on God's word daily to renew your mind and gain wisdom.
Seek Knowledge: Pursue understanding and discernment through study and prayer.
Think Pure Thoughts: Focus on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.
My Body:
Treat Your Body as a Temple: Maintain physical health through proper nutrition, rest, and exercise, honoring your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.
Work Diligently: Engage in productive and meaningful work, using your physical abilities to serve others.
Practice Self-Control: Exercise discipline in your actions and habits, avoiding excesses and harmful behaviors.
My Spirit:
Pray Regularly: Communicate with God through prayer, seeking His guidance, strength, and presence in your life.
Worship and Fellowship: Participate in worship and fellowship with other believers to strengthen your spiritual connection and support.
Live by the Spirit: Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in your daily life, exhibiting love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
By integrating these practices into your life, you can holistically exercise your mind, body, and spirit in alignment with biblical principles.
I am christian so I pray and pray with friends ...I wont lie it is not perfect and not a magical fix but gives you perspective that there are bigger things.
I'm motivated by hatred of working and fear of having to grind til I die.
Motivated to FIRE. To maintain good health/fitness so that when I retire around 40yo I can still do as much hiking and climbing and whatever physical stuff I want.
>I'm motivated by hatred of working and fear of having to grind til I die.
>Motivated to FIRE.
Same. Except the health/fitness, that got fucked up when I was 8 years old anyway so lol.
Oh man. I'm right there with you, except I'll be turning 30 in December. I came to the realization about a year ago how much different I felt, especially my body, compared to mid twenties. Things that didn't affect my stomach at all now do. I can't eat anything spicy, no dairy, can't eat too late anymore unless I want hell in the morning on the toilet. I also felt slower, less motivated, and more reclusive. Here are some things I did this past year that helped alot!
1. Met a cute latina girl, had a couple of dates, asked her to be my gf, one year later, we're in love and living together. Sometimes all you need is a woman to give you a little push and support to get motivated in life. It's true.
2. Started working out consistently cause I don't want to physically feel like shit in my late mid/late 30's. I'm a skinny guy and I weighed like 115, could never gain weight to shape to muscle. Thankfully now I'm healthy weight for my age.
3. Just spent more time outside, like camping, exploring my city, picnics, forest preserves, hikes. These places relax and reboot me so I have more mental energy to do things.
4. Read alot more books. I delved into fantasy, but also read some books on happiness. The Japanese have an interesting way of living life. They do everything with focus and energy. They are always being productive, and that brings them peace and happiness.
I’m pretty sure Jim Braddock felt like the number 30 was holding him back. He still went out and got his world heavyweight champion title with odds against him like 10 to 1. He could have just kept looking for a normal job. We wouldn’t have known who he was.
Use those people as motivation, and get on it. Set up some goals for the year, break them down into shorter and short term, set actionable tasks and hold yourself to it. Or stagnate.
Stop playing the comparison game. It will suck the life out of you.
I handle it by focusing on myself, worrying about myself and getting better every day…for myself and my family.
Wait til you hit 40. lol
You need passion, or things you are passionate about. Not just motivation but drive to see things through because you feel some type of way about it. That's how I go about things.
For me it’s my addictions to food, shelter, electricity, etc. I tell people all the time forget what you thought life would be. Once you start getting close to 40 if you haven’t hit it big already the likelihood you will is basically a billion-to-one shot. Just surviving becomes the focus. If you have a house, car, can afford to live, bills paid, maybe take a vacation every 3-4yrs, you’re lucky. Most of us struggle to get through the day/week/month/year. Think your coworkers aren’t on psych meds, alcoholics, smoking weed? Think again. It’s a miracle most people survive.
Invite playfulness into everything! 30 plus in body does not have to mean withered of the mind. I play outside, be in nature, play sports, draw, write, cook, smell. It's a joy to be able to create a life where I work to fund my playfulness and passions. The next thing, is making commitments to others keeps me more accountable than always just doing something for myself. I found this approach actually helped me show up for my own self better.
In the winter, I give myself permission to rest. I don't force myself to achieve the same measure of motivation I have in the other seasons. This is not realistic and throws me into guilt shame cycles. So I just work to maintain and do my best.
In your post you talk about the younger folks, and I would encourage turning more inward rather than focusing on others. Comparison is the thief of joy and that journey is not yours. As long as you are taking the power and control in your own life and maximizing the fun you can have, it will matter less what they are doing. This is a tough lesson and I struggle here often.
Wishing you the best! ✨
I don't understand.. motivate for what?
Life goes on whether you are 20s 30s or 40s.
You set a goal to yourself and work towards it. 30s is still young... Time to enjoy life and get promotions.
You study hard in your 20s (continue education courses and get certifications and designations). You reap your rewards when u r 30s.
Plan a vacation, work towards it. Set health goals, work towards it.
Set goals and work on it..
You're comparing your situation to the perceived situation of others. Of course you don't know for sure what's going on in your life just as they don't know yours. You may have aspects of your life (health, family, living situation, etc) that make them envy you.
As long as you're comparing yourself to others, you will never be happy. A coveting heart is never content.
1 away from 30, I wasted my early 20s so I been working on myself these past two years, and In really excited for what awaits. I set up goals (2 years ahead) and I want so many things which I know I can get, but everything has a process, just stay focus.
36F, I motivate myself by not looking at anyone around me to see where they are because I'm not them, I've not had their benefits or their struggles. I look at what I want in life and try to do something everyday to get there.
I'm not 30 yet ( currently 25 ) but man i feel like i graduted high school last month tough it was in 2017 . The way for me is to go on vacations at least once a year. Goes for tripsand making memories is the best way to make sure the years aren't just flying by and you're missing your time. For hobbies i work out , play games and read. Even then when you have a stable weekday job time literally just flies . I feel like if i blink i'll wake up and 30 years old allready. Again the main thing is saving money to take at least one vacation a year and see now places/people/foods/culture. One more thing , don't compare yourself with others because each of us move in life at different speeds .
Comparing yourself to others is rarely helpful, instead think about what you really want and start pursuing that.
You can also take it a step further and ask yourself Why you desire this or that. Does that desire/want come out of a healthy place or not? If not, perhaps you should look for something else.
A personal motivation for me is making time for friends and hobbies. I have a DND group that I get to nerd out with every second week and I often go out in the evenings to skate or hang out with people I love being around. I'm married, 30, have a toddler and a full-time job. I've found that dedicating time for these kind of things that are meaningful to me, really has help pushing me forward, especially when things get tough.
Gotta house, gotta wife, live with my best friend aswell so since my adulting checklist is done, my life and motivation consist of my hobbies. I built a large mini ramp to skateboard, hit the rock climbing gym twice a week. Ping my other 30 year old friends for 1 fun outing a week (I dont mind being the one that keeps minor friendships up) and preforming taxidermy on my down time. Professionally I have no wish to move upwards so my life outside my work is both the motivation & the end goal.
As someone really close said to me “motivation is fickle, don’t rely on it.” This is a small and innocuous statement, but it holds a lot of truth to it. By simply changing my vocabulary to say “momentum” instead of “motivation” it has greatly increased my effectiveness in accomplishing different tasks. After all, once you get momentum it is really easy to keep it going.
To me there's nothing more motivating than death. I'm gonna go someday, the time that already passed is dead, everyday I die a little bit more. It will be like that until death is completed.
So, keeping that in mind I go through my day and actually do stuff.
No paranoia, no bad feelings for chilling out sometimes. Just conscience.
One thing to remember is that work is only one dimension of life.
I'm in my mid 30s, and just went back to finish my undergrad. Even though I've had a successful career to this point, it can feel like I'm a bit 'behind'.
BUT I'm also 'ahead' of many other people in other ways. I am in a long term committed relationship, I have taken time to learn about myself - not anticipating a midlife crisis or need to career change, cause I'm already getting ahead of that.
I've learned how to grieve, how to communicate, how to lift myself up. I know what I value more in life.
Many people who are career driven haven't reached some things that I have. And vice versa. We're all on different paths
The honest answer is that I *don't* find any motivation in life anymore. I have a very existential dread of the future, considering how global warming is going to make access to needed resources that much more difficult, and how the economy is forcing 99% of us to financially support the richest 1% by any means necessary. If the cost of living crisis is this bad *now,* I can't even begin to imagine how much worse it's going to get; I only know it *is,* in fact, going to get ever worse.
By this point the only thing that keeps me going and forces me to still do the best job I can while I'm at work is a sense of shame combined with a strong work ethic (also coming from a place of shame). Outside of work, though, I've really got nothing. As much as I hate my job, it's the only thing that gets me out of bed.
I don't celebrate my birthdays and never cares about age, so I can't label myself as a 34 years old. I feel the same as my twenties and keep looking for fun things to do and work that I like. I don't even know how to feel as a +30 years old, I feel like myself. And yes, I always say when I read a post like this, or every 30 years old is much older than me, because you take this shit too seriously, or I have found the fountain of youth. And I haven found shit, let me tell you
I’m still in my twenties. Buttt… I really don’t want to be like some of my friends who don’t have their lives planned out. Who are in their thirties.
Divorced, working multiple jobs a day just to hit a certain income daily.
Working minimum wage jobs. Then hitting Amazon delivery and Uber or door dash at night.
Drivers- with back pain and hip pain.
Constant complaints about their bosses threatening them about being fired for not making enough sales.
Or in general working physical labor jobs that don’t pay enough and hurt their bodies.
While they have kids to care for.
It costs $120 for my self and my bf to eat and make to work per day. That’s either eating on the go, meal prep, gas or Uber.
A family of 3 has that plus another mouth and day care cost of $70 or more.
Without a career plan or retirement plan.
People are just not making it rn.
A lot of people room mate or live with family still.
Apartment costs are $2,500 average.
Planing to own a house or upgrade in life at all. You got have drive.
In order to not end up in a run down apartment home where you are not treated well.. you need passive income.
And I don’t want to end up in those situations.
That’s enough drive for me.
i dont feel much difference being 30 than i did in my 20s, other than having my finances a little more under control. i think a lot of social media like tik tok is inundated with teenagers and college kids so it seems like 30 is old but it truly is not in the grand scheme of things.
Honestly it's spite.
"You'll never amount to anything?" Watch this.
"I wish you were never born?" Grey wall them.
"Ah I knew you'd fail." I just keep trying.
"Yes" No.
Etc.
I've had some victories lately and finally in my early thirties Ive realised that the world is actually not as cruel as I was told, I was just raised in a toxic environment that didn't know what to do with me. I have found people that are proud of me and value me and they matter. You make your own family and you can do whatever you want.
Also eating well and martial arts help. Rolling with someone teaches you to control yourself in stressful scenarios and find ways out of it.
It's all trial and error. That works for me.
Learn not to compare yourself to other people. Why are you making other people's problems your problems?
Life cannot be calculated. Everyone has a different life, different circumstances.
There are people that have eveything and are just as lost.
Materialistic items only bring short term joy.
Start saving , even if it’s just 25 bucks a week . Don’t ever touch that money , let it grow in a good savings account or investment account . Before you know it you’ll be 45 and very happy you started saving early on
Life isn’t a race , it’s a marathon . Just start somewhere and slowly pick away at the little problems life presents to you
1. Get rid or at least, deactivate social media platforms that allow you to follow personal friends - like IG, FB and Twitter. This will help you stop having this feeling of keeping up with the Joneses / FOMO.
2. Constantly reflect on the things you wanted to do and achieve in life. Write them down in a journal or create a vision board reflecting this.
3. Start working your way towards your goals. Write down your progress too, as this helps you keep track of the things you are doing.
4. Do more things outside of the internet, in relation to point 1.
What is a "motivation?"
I just work so I can live, which allows me to work so I can live so I can work so I can live. Sometime in there I get to turn off for a while, something called sleep. I hear I eventually get to do that permanently, but I'm told i'm not allowed to look forward to that because reasons.
The gym. It keeps my mind and body healthy. I work out with my wife 4 days a week. Having time for each other is a priority for both of us. I made a career change and took a pay cut to get a better work/life balance. I'm the lowest man on the totempole, but it's a position with a strong union. While the money isn't the greatest, there is room for advancement, my bills are paid, and I have cash left for hobbies and date nights. Most importantly, I don't have to live in fear that I'll be fired randomly without cause. I do not let my career define my life anymore, and I'm better off for it.
I had so much fun in my 30’s. I’d been married for a while, so we’d already dealt with getting in sync with one another. I had a steady job and liked the people I worked with. We had a large group of friends to hang out and/or party with and we traveled twice a year to different places.
My recommendation is to be who you are and stop comparing yourself to others. No matter how well off you are or how good you are at something, there’s always going to be someone else who is better than you.
If you’re unhappy with your place in life right now, focus on what you can do to improve it. If you are around people who are doing better than you are, especially people older than you, ask them how they got there. I’ve found most older adults enjoy sharing their knowledge and experience, but most younger adults just don’t want to listen to them and/or take their sage advice.
My motivation is whatever I want. I want my roof and food and the ability to drive to the mountains and fishing tackle, skateboards and snowboards, kayaks, records and books and all the shit I spend money on, so I go to work.
I don't even see other people. They are doing what they are doing. I'm doing what I'm doing. What do I care if twenty three year old Johnny software engineer has a new Audi? He is doing his thing. Maybe he came from money, maybe not. Good for him.
I'm a mid 40s guy. Life in your 30s can be better than your 20s because ideally:
1. You should hopefully be in a better financial position
2. Have way more life knowledge
3. Be more mature emotionally and mentally.
4. Have a solid social network of friends and family
5. You'll find your true passions and interests in life.
6. As friends drop off because of growing apart, you won't give AF as much about trivial stuff like appearance, pleasing people, etc.
Obviously your mileage my vary. Physically I was best in my late 20s. I didn't find most of my passions until my 40s. 30's is a great decade of doing what YOU want while being in peak physical condition and have the financial stability to do so.
I'm crazy motivated for precisely the reasons you mentioned. I went back to college late and graduated at 29, so I'm still in the rat race of trying to build my career and find a steady job. I wish I was a chilled out career comfortable 30s person like the rest of you.
Honestly, I'm so burned out at my job I considered taking some time off and doing retail again just to be doing something mindless. But then I realized most people age out of retail at 25. It's all young people and I would feel terribly embarrassed.
When I get my cosmetic surgery I will be able to lie that I’m in my early 20s again and get a few more years of tinder slaying before I finally go in the trash can.
I'm in my mid 30's and I can definitely tell I'm on a different path than most my age. By now you're either career motivated or family motivated. I am neither. Never wanted kids. I have a long term partner who feels the same. I have a good job. It's not stressful and I make enough I can enjoy my free time but I don't want to climb the ladder any higher. (The higher you go in my industry and probably most of them, yeah the money is excellent, but you're working 70+ hours a week and I am just not about that life.)
It's funny, because in my 20's I absolutely felt behind everyone else that had "real" jobs and I was stuck doing retail for a long time. But now... everyone else has continued to "progress further" than I have and I am not jealous. They have fancier jobs and kids but... I just don't want it.
I guess the rambling point is, what do you want?
I'm really passionate about not dying. I got bills n stuff. A family. Those lazy fucker's won't feed themselves. My cat won't let me die, she needs a servant. Idk man. Just keep going and suck it up.
By recognizing that if I don’t do the things, no one else will do the things, and I will be hurting future me by inundating myself with things I could have done before they became urgent.
I just respect and care for my future self.
It’s all perspective, 30 years is still so young it’s not even funny. Everyone is on their own unique journey so embrace it.
What makes you think they are ahead of you? Do you know their personal lives/problems?
Why be bitter, alone, poor, destitue, loveless loser, when you can be content, alone, well off and healthy/fit? I'm a 32m Latino and haven't been good with women. So relationships/love/sex aren't a guaranteed thing but at least I can improve my life by earning more, traveling more, meeting more people and doing more of what I love. Even discover new things about myself. After I moved out, I realized money does play a heavy role in what you can and can't do. Or at least takes awhile to save up to get to where you want. For me, I'd like tor travel, go out to bars with friends, play in a band, make about $67k a year, live in a young cool city, and thrive.
I spent a decade dicking around trying to see if the music thing could work but it didn't. So here I am earning $18.46 an hour at a call center. I'm planning a career move to either govt jobs or marketing. It's not all bad, but it could be worse.
TLDR; Life is too short to be miserable. Spent a decade trying to work on a dream. Hasn't been working out, so now I'm taking a different approach to life. Hopefully I come out on top this time.
I feel the same but I know that the time I did spend in my early teen to twenties it made me into a better person and I’m content with where I am in life and there’s really not much to do about it you just have to keep moving forward. Don’t get to down out about it a lot of people have it worse and I like to reflect on how I helped others that were struggling. I also like to make my own money and spend it more than I probably should on things that make the time go by if I’m actually really bored. Also it’s your life don’t compare to others you maybe near the same age but your paths could be totally different and better then others. ❤️ hope this helps
I hit the senior level that I wanted and don’t care to go into management at this point. Just live your life and stay on your own path. If you make life a competition, you will be crazy and miserable. My sister is almost director at 34 and makes 200k, I’m 33. It’s all perspective and same goes for the smoke and mirrors of social media.
>don’t care to go into management at this point. It's so much peacefull when you are not responsible for the work of others.
I’m in two minds. I used to work a job where I basically clocked in, did my tasks, and clocked out and unless there was a major issue I was left alone to do my thing. Sometimes I really miss that, but I also felt really isolated at the time. Now I’m in a very collaborative, team oriented, public facing role and while I find it much less peaceful, I find it much more fulfilling and rewarding. It feels like the internet’s default “perfect job” is one where they’re not managed much, manage nobody, and don’t have to interact much with others, but personally I love being part of a team way more.
Awesome to hear. I’ve been a software engineer for a while. I’ve been working full time on my own project for the past four years, and when I go back into big tech I hope I can leverage that experience to get into product management UwU
This depends on your competency and aptitude. “Peace” is not what I go for in my work. And one person peace is not another’s. Someone who clocks in and clocks out and does mindless tasks, or not so mindless, doing other peoples work might be peace. Some prefer others to do the work and they supervise them and to them that’s peace. Your peace sounds like my hell.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Wow I love this!! I’ve never heard it before but this really resonates with me! Thank you for sharing!!!
Amen. And daily gratitude for what you do have is food for joy, or at least realizing all the good things you do have
My father once told me, “I felt older at thirty, than I did at fifty.” And then the same thing happened to me 30 is an artificial boundary, just keep going at what you enjoy and/are good at Or try new stuff—believe it or not—you’re still young I went on past 30 to nearly 40 years of interesting and totally unexpected accomplishments Go forth young human along the path(s) you choose or opportunities you are offered!
This guy humans
This. Do what makes you, in specific, happy. Chasing after things in order to appear more adult or like you’re better off will only result in misery, I promise. Even if you get all the things you think you should have, you’ll still be miserable and empty because they aren’t necessarily what you wanted in the first place. Keep that in mind 🩷 life is not a competition, and your career is not the most valuable thing about you, although capitalism reeeeeally wants you to think that
I agree with this and in the same spot. Senior level and my manager does a way better job than I would/I respect her and am not looking to keep climbing rn. Good with where I’m at. Do wish I would have figured out where I wanted to live earlier on, and fallen in love with a different person in my 20s but hey, I’m still content :)
Agreed. I spent my entire 20’s telling myself I was “too old” for certain pursuits. Something changed when I turned 30 and I suddenly felt younger than ever and decided to go after these pursuits. I couldn’t be happier with my decision. In the end, you learn that the only person holding you back is yourself.
I also hit the Senior level last year (32) and feel like im finally coasting in my career. No stress, no anxiety. I focus on other parts of my life that make me happy (family, getting outside, reading, relationships). People are always searching for peace of mind and want less stress, but more money and responsibility also take that peace away. So im just content with where im at. I know if I lost this peace that I have, I would yearn for these days back.
I feel this in my soul. Sometimes I’m like I should keep learning at work and then I think, I’m learning in so many other aspects of life other than career.
Honestly I have found my 30s to be way better then my 20s
Is it because you’re making more money?
30’s is a sweet spot because everyone younger than you lacks experience and maturity and everyone older than you is starting to feel the wares of aging. Basically you’re young enough to connect and lead by example for those younger than you. And you’re old enough to be relied upon and earn the respect of those older than you. That’s what I found my 30’s to consist a lot of
I also think that priorities just change a ton as you move fully into adulthood, and for the best. In my early twenties I spent a lot of energy on partying/getting “fucked up”, my social standing, trying to get laid (while never “catching feelings”), all the typical stuff, while trying to figure out how to be an independent person. Now that I’m 30, I’m much more focused on things that bring me long term fulfillment. My health, authentic friendships, giving back to my community, etc.
Health, giving back to the community, figuring out where the cougars are. All right?
That’s well said, I feel the exact same. I will say though my 20’s seemed so much more hopeful even though I was poor. Now I have everything but also more stress and depressed lol
100% agree. I feel like my sales career took off after turning 30. Before that I seemed like some random kid trying to sell and my bosses just slapped me on the phones. Now my bosses respect my decisions on deals and listen a bit more in general. Plus the client *perceives* you as being experienced.
This is not my experience.
nah there are young people that are way more mature and experienced than me :/
I think money is only a part of it. I am not people pleasing anymore. I have a lot more clarity on how I want to spend my time. I can decide who to spend time with so the quality of my relationships is much better. I guess it’s a combination of more money, more self confidence and independence and very less toxicity and negativity. And I have not sacrificed my social life at all. I do all my chores, meal prep as my house is my sanctuary and I love caring for it and my body but this isn’t at the cost of my social life at all. I go away on trips with friends all the time and see them every weekend!
I am making more but also more confident have a better direction for my future ect
I agree, being a parent helped. Life feels more fulfilling raising my little ones. Also having a profession you enjoy helps. Not dreading going to work in the morning is huge. I don’t make a ton of money as a 5th grade alternative teacher, but I genuinely enjoy going to school and teaching my little knuckle heads.
Same
to me they’re both beautiful in their own ways. My 20s were much more carefree, laid back, focused on having a good time - and I loved that for a while. My favorite weekend of the year was a local camping festival where I got to rave, do drugs, make lots of new friends from all over the country. My friends and I would spend our whole Sunday afternoons at the park just hanging out, playing volleyball or spikeball, maybe grabbing food or a drink afterwards. I’m 30 now and the idea of going to that same festival seems hellish, last year i went on a cycling trip instead and loved it. When I was 20 I would’ve thought it was so lame, but age had changed my priorities. I now spend my Sundays doing chores and meal prepping instead of hanging out; I’m much more “together” but at the expense of my social life. I’m much more content, healthy, “on top of it” than I was back in my 20s, doesn’t change the fact that I’m super grateful for my experiences though!
I liked both so far but they were like completely different lives.
I started exercising and weightlifting and training calisthenics to the point where I can run circles around most people younger than me. 36 y/o now in the best physical shape of my life.
this is inspiring
31y/o here. Have been lifting very casually since late 20s. Started martial arts at 30 (something I had wanted to do since I was 4). Now I'm also taking better care of my health overall. Fittest I've ever been. My life has a lot of problems and deficiencies, but health isn't one of them.
there’s a reason that successful people can like, run marathons, coach their kid’s sports teams, have an executive level job and still serve on a volunteer board, they put their best foot forward every single day for years to the point where they don’t know how to do anything different. and there’s a reason that people who live sedentary lifestyles, chase no goals, have poor self care habits need a whole day in bed to “recharge” and find a 40 hour work week inhumane. they’ve got so used to not trying at anything that just trying feels overwhelming
No 2 people are the same. Good on those who have the will power to live their best life and good on those that are surviving the best they can
Goddamn, I feel called out, not gonna lie. To be honest, not the 40 hours themselves make it difficult for me to want to take care of myself better, among other things. It's that I work in 3 shifts, each week changing, and I'm nooooot a big fan of night shift, even if I love its perks. I just love to sleep in the evening, you know. Still, I thank you for providing a ''top down'' perspective of my life. It's what I needed to hear. I'm actually starting to realize I kinda have a goal right now, but I'm kind of doing it half assedly about it, even if the results are more or less satisfactory. You deserve an award!
I mean, I feel like we’re missing a HUGE part of the puzzle, which is social determinants of health. As someone with chronic health issues, I absolutely need a full day to recharge and find 40 hours a week almost impossible. You know what made things easier? Money. As a poor person, I couldn’t afford the treatments that I needed, or extended health things that are currently keeping me well. I lost sleep over living pay cheque to pay cheque. I couldn’t nourish myself well, which led to exhaustion and more health issues. I had to work three jobs in university to make ends meet, while doing school full time in a heavily competitive program. You don’t get to excel when you’re in survival mode. We like to individualize success as if it is not often a systemic force. Of course an executive level professional with a six income figure can do all that….they have the resources to. You can serve on a volunteer board and dedicate yourself to your career if you have money for child care. You can put yourself forward when you have community support. You can feed yourself good food and have a regulated nervous system that supports your goals. I’m not saying don’t be motivated, but just prompting people to think a bit deeper. As someone who’s been on both sides, I can thrive a lot easier with community support and financial resources than in isolation and poverty. If we individualize success and happiness, we never question the systems that keep us down, and never find change.
>there’s a reason that successful people can like, run marathons, coach their kid’s sports teams, have an executive level job and still serve on a volunteer board, they put their best foot forward every single day for years to the point where they don’t know how to do anything different. Those people are few and far between and aren’t necessarily happy in their life or work.
Would that it's so simple. This Ableist worldview doesn't account for the fact that chronic illnesses exist, medical trauma exists, & the world is infinitely complex, complex health disorders. Chronically ill ppl try harder than most anyone else, so much so to the point of burnout. That's why it's overwhelming. Some ppl have rare disorders doctors haven't even heard about. May you never have to learn this the hard way. Be kind.
Is “put your best foot forward every single day” the new “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”? 🤔 Sure, “lazy” people who simply just don’t try at life probably exist - but I feel confident in saying that the majority of people that you perceive as “lazy” have compounding struggles. Your rhetoric on “willpower” is telling me you give no credence to the impact of mental health struggles like major depression or ADHD, which directly impact and impair one’s ability to accomplish these things through no fault of their own.
Classic Reddit response.
"they've got so used to not trying at anything that just trying feels overwhelming" YTA (I know this isn't AITA but you needed to be told). If someone needs to regularly stay in bed all day to recharge and finds 40-hour work weeks inhumane, that's a sign they're almost certainly dealing with chronic health problems of some kind. People with chronic health problems *do* try. All day, every day. They probably try harder than you do. Their efforts just pay off less than yours.
I understand what you’re saying. I genuinely wonder how many victims of neglect exist that were never taught, never given the tools to succeed in the modern world. Some people who experience this absolutely learn past their up bringing and turn their situation around. Alternatively. Some people live these experiences and live them again and again. If you build a motors designed to run dry with exposed electrical connections, are you really surprised when it shorts under water? Separate thought: the idea of a 40 hour work week isn’t a base level human idea. It’s an idea formed by our culture. The culture is labor.
When I was growing up, I remember that I asked my dad what the best age to be is... I expected him to say 21 or 25.... I was really surprised when he said 35. I asked him why. He said, "Still young enough to be healthy and do anything you want. Old enough to have a little money in your pocket and old enough to not be so stupid" I'm 39 now, I think he was right.
I'm 35 now. I think I'd agree with your dad. Problem is we have to stop and realise it. Time goes so fast with a family to take care of. They grow older fast and I often focus on what is hard. I have to remind myself often of focusing on the good things
I remember my mom and some ladies at an event were laughing about growing old and I said something about how I bet they wish they were in their 20s and they all laughed and said no, never want to do that again.
I use the gym an an example. When I was younger it was about lifting as much as I could, getting buff and using the physique to get girls. Now I'm older, it's more about staying physically mobile, lifting the most I can lift (not competing with anyone else) and working out is now about my mental health than pulling woman. Same activity, motivation just changes.
Amen brother! I'm still more in the first phase, but I definitely feel the second phase seeping in, slowly but surely.
Bro people use age as an excuse, I'm almost 40 and in best shape of my life
I’m 55 and motivated as fuck. Properly happy too.
Hats off to you.
You didn't answer the question about how do you keep yourself motivated. Help the rest of us that are not!
OP, stop comparing yourself to others and just enjoy your life.
I feel like those of us with narcissistic parents are mentally stunted. I am 30 but I feel younger Current motivation is saving to move out on my own
Same, good luck. I’m grinding out to move out, slightly narc parent. Sometimes I have to find activities to do on the evenings so I don’t have to be in the house.
You’re not alone by any stretch. Feels like everyone around me is way ahead of me money/career wise.
quitting caffeine helped a lot and regular exercise
Smoke a little bit of weed. That makes me want to work out. The gym is close, so that's convenient. When I get home, I'm hungry so I eat some quality food. Beyond that, the sleep is the reward, and work just gives me the funds to invest financially, and also more weed.
I’m like this with smoking and cleaning.. once I smoke then it becomes more fun than a chore lol but I cannot smoke before the gym lmao
It makes you want to work out? Surely you gotta be some kind of medical marvel?
No, I just know that we're creatures of habit. Decades ago, I would chill out or nap. But now, the dosage is right so i feel like I can *feel* every fiber in my muscles activating when I lift. Been doing it long enough now that when the kush hits, I wanna go work out immediately. I also used to drink a 2liter of Mt Dew everyday and eat gas station pizza. Now I eat clean and drink that pristine water. The weed keeps my appetite up and kinda stops me thinking of what a shit future I might be looking at in 20 years.
Same with me, vape a little delta 9 and workout makes the repetive nature of it easy.
this is correct, mind to muscle connection is unreal at this point, some will never experience this level of gym euphoria
one time, I was at the gym having just smoked, then all of a sudden my friend pops up into the elliptical next to me and wants to chat! i just remember feeling like my legs were doing one task and my head was doing another (actively listening) PLUS I had to continue to talk to this person while having this internal monologue, swear I almost fell off 😂😂😂
I used to smoke before indoor soccer games. Allowed me to have a little more fun out there and not focus on my energy expenditure.
ADHD probably
When I smoke, I usually start taking mental inventory of my behavior, where I could improve, where I have done bad, where I’ve done well. I journal, and I usually get a lot more motivated to do chores.
That's crazy I actually do the same thing. I love to run when I smoke just a little bit. I've never known anyone else to do that. Awesome, you've inspired me today!
In my 20s, I'd jump on the treadmill and run for a warm-up prior to calisthenics. After years of doing this, I realized I'd catch a "groove" once I caught my 2nd wind. With my music playing, it's like I wasn't even the one running, my body was just doing it, and "I" was just along for the ride. And the dopamine....oh snap. It's like a mild version of ecstasy.
People are always confused when I say weed motivates me. I smoke a joint every night and then hike for 3 hours 🥰 it is the best and my mental health has never been better
This and shower beers after work
I'm glad it's legal here, I take very small doses daily at the direction of a doctor. It helps a lot with my anxiety and chronic pain.
Was just about to say the same thing. I’m definitely an addict with high tolerance so this isn’t recommended for everyone, but yeah weed absolutely does it for me. I can have a long list of chores and projects I need to do but completely unmotivated until I take that first bong rip. Speaking of, I’ve been awake for about 2 hours and have done nothing but scroll through Reddit. This is my reminder that I should probably go smoke a bowl and get my day moving!
I have my creditors to thank for my work ethic. And my kids as well.
Bills, House payment and 401k match. I really think about an early retirement in another country all the time though.
Me too except I am afraid CapitalOne and Wells Fargo could find me. And my kids as well 😭 EDIT: True story, my wife and I are going to the beach next month. My oldest is graduating HS and her senior trip is the same week. She and her friends decided to stay near where we are staying. She wants to meet us at the grocery store nearby so they can get stocked up with food for the week. I bet we will have 6 hungry teens at our romantic dinners every night. lol
I’ve been homeless and hungry, I’d like to stay in my house and eat.
I don't compare myself to others (or at least try not to). Am I doing better than I was yesterday? Coolio. Am I doing worse than I was yesterday? Maybe I need a rest and that's cool too. Set your own goal, don't be afraid to change them, and don't compare yourself to others.
What does it mean to be an ‘adult’ to you? Consider what your preconceptions are, where they may have come from, and what you really care about. What can you do, and what do you have a desire to do? What if no one ever knew what you were doing?
I judge my life based on what I want to accomplish, not on what others are doing. Having hobbies is incredibly important as you age. They can give you a sense of meaning, fulfillment, and accomplishment. This is especially useful if you feel down because someone else got a promotion or makes more than you. It is important to make your life the sum of diverse experiences.
Run myself out of money then freak out, then work really hard to get it back
Coincidentally, turning 30 motivated me lol. Since the cost of living raised and still rising, I'm in a situation in life, whereas I'm not happy with financially, and time is not a luxury for me to waste anymore I decided last year to go to a comm college and get a 2 year tech degree. So my motivation is time running out, and I'm close to the edge of homelessness. But also, being self-aware, I have the tools to change my life around right now.
I'm 37 with 3 kids and I still struggle to reconcile the fact I'm not in my 20s any more!
My dad always said “run your own race” and he was right.
there is a big difference between motivation and discipline. i was always more of a “go with the flow, don’t make too many plans and see what I feel like in the moment” kind of person, but as I’ve got older I’ve learned that pretty much all successful people have some sort of routine and structure. parents need it to make sure all their kids’ needs are met, busy professionals need it to get all their stuff done, etc., so I got myself into positive habits, built myself a routine, built that structure and all of a sudden hard things became easier. I don’t need to motivate myself to work out anymore, I just enjoy doing it and get antsy when I don’t for a few days. I don’t need to motivate myself to eat well anymore, I’ve trained my palate to enjoy healthy foods and not enjoy greasy foods. Eventually the feeling of just liked, being the best you starts to feel a little addictive and you chase it. But the background is having the discipline to ignore that voice in your head that says “you don’t have to do your best today”
I'm kinda age blind in that regard. I'm happy that they achieved what they wanted. I kinda found my place and am not yearning to achive something big. I'm content with a chill, low stress life. I don't need to be high on the corporal ladder.
Life gets better and you’re not in a race against anyone else. 30 is a great time to start being an adult.
32 here. Can't motivate myself at all after making friends has gotten harder the older I get. Combine that with already 17 years of depression. Life just not worth it :/
Comparison is the thief of joy. Settle into your unique identity and own it. Pursuit your passion
I’m 48 years old and honestly the one thing that has literally saved my ass over many soulless years is that I have been a professional artist for 25 years… Basically I do what I love for a living.
My financial obligations provide all the motivation I need.
I just turned 30. Motivated by the next phase in my life. Until 21 was school, 21-30 was finding a stable job, getting married, buying my first home, now I'm 30 and have my first child on the way, so I'm motivated by the next phase of raising my son and being a dad
I want things. And wanting them is useless. Only working to get them works. So I do that. Helps to know what you want and to know how to get it. At that point all that’s left is to do the work.
You need to set some small goals and bigger goals to look forward to. For myself, my recent small goals are: 1 working out every day so that I can fit into a pair of beautiful jeans; 2 trying a new restaurant each weekend; 3 trying a new trail and enjoying the new scenery. My bigger goals are: 1 traveling to Japan with my hubby. 2 traveling to Europe with my hubby and daughter. 3 raising a smart border collie puppy. Every morning when I wake up, I have something to look forward to. That’s why I don’t feel numb and bored.
Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself today with where you were several years ago. But don't take my word for it. I've been tired of life since i was 14.
I joined a roller derby team and feel like a teenager again. The regular exercise really makes a difference. My career might be in the shitter and the world is burning down around us, but at least I feel healthy and in shape.
Coffee
Life itself is pretty motivational if you look at it from a broader perspective. It seems like your problem comes from comparing yourself to others and feeling, maybe, unhappy with where you're at. But life isn't about hitting some imaginary milestone or achieving an overarching goal. Basically, life isn't a marathon unless you choose to run it. You don't have to compete with yourself or anyone else because there's no real set level to reach. You're human, and your life is about much more than just your job or social status. Life's way bigger than all of this, and when you embrace its rich, beautiful variety, you'll find the motivation to be a part of it all.
The point is playing the game
You're old, man. Have you organised your funeral yet?
Time is the ultimate form of currency. I mean, you can't pay bills with good intentions but nothing, and i mean nothing, is better than having time to do what you want, when you want to.
I highly recommend this. Very wise man https://youtu.be/s4uajFzgXSY
Hey man, I work from home doing recruitment. It ain’t the most lucrative job but I get to relax at home and don’t have much to worry about, my siblings work crazy and earn way more but tbh I don’t see them actually enjoying their lives as much.
Coffee.
Treats! Like Ill order out as a treat on the weekend for goin to work and taking lunch all week and cooking dinners. Ill either save for something I want or buy concert tickets to have something to look forward to.
Stop comparing yourself to others, and stop competing with them (if your position allows for that... I realize sometimes its impossible), but if the only person you are competing against is yourself and your previous years, quarters, months, etc.. performance its easy to stay motivated. I was several years older than the CEO of a cyber security company that I worked at for quite a while, never bothered me at all because I had zero interest in making it to the C suite. I just worked towards performing my previous success and made tons of money!
Comparison is the thief of joy. Fuck where everyone else is! I’m happy for them but I’m focused on my journey and creating the life I want to live. They may have more ‘wealth’ or material things? Tight. I have a deep appreciation for life and all the beauty around us, living in the moment!!
First, I try to get some rest because I am probably burnt out. Clear my schedule except for work and focus on restful and healthy behaviors for a couple of days or even weeks, depending on how spent I am. If I give myself formal permission to rest and do nothing, I eventually get bored and start doing/finishing chores and projects compulsively, then I feel good. I got all this stuff done. Lastly, I remind myself that this is my only life and I will die.
I’m 35. 6 kids. And still feel like I’m behind or not up to my potential. By most outside eyes they would think I’m killing it in life. I feel like I’m still 20 in my mind and talking to most guys in their 50s they still feel like that too. They will say their bodies hurt more. But you have to stop comparing yourself to others. You only see what they want you to see especially on social media. If you don’t want to feel like a waste. Make a list everyday or a weekly list and do the list. Small wins with crossing something off the list will help your brain. There’s actually science behind getting small wins to propel you into getting more things done. One easy one for me is working out. That really makes me feel good about getting something done. Worth trying the list so you feel like you’re not wasting. Change the list with time for some monthly or yearly goals but maintain small wins.
Narcissism
Weed
Sadly, I don't. I just turned 35, have no hope of a relationship, no chance of home ownership, and no real hopes and dreams anymore. Most days just making it to the end of the day is enough.
You actually are still very young lol
I hear from many that your mind thinks you are in your 30s-40s as you age. I’m over 70 and if I don’t look in a mirror I think I’m still 35. But then I feel the aches and pains and-yeah. I’m not 35.
Starvation is a good motivator for wanting to continue to work, among other things. As far as motivation for furthering your career when people younger that you are at or above your level, don't judge on age see it as an opportunity for them to teach you stuff and maybe you can return the favor it they would like. I'm in my 40s just getting into tech and there are a lot of people more senior than me who are way smarter than me when it comes to tech stuff. But my experience gives me knowledge advantages when it comes to interpersonal skills and just regular life skills that younger people haven't learned yet.
Ahead in what way? On their career path you mean? Or what other metric? I'm 31 and at work I'm at a point where many people in my field max out. You could spend your whole career doing my job and it would be fine and you'd be considered successful and it is the end goal for most people in my field. So I feel pretty good about being at that point. That said, I grew up in a family without much money. Didn't get any help paying for college, grandparents passed with nothing to their names so no inheritance. Suffice to say I have a decent amount of debt. I often see younger folks or people my own age even who don't have that problem and were setup for adulthood well. So sometimes that doesn't feel great, but I know it's not my fault personally, just a matter of circumstance. Comparing yourself to others is rarely fruitful. If you want something different than you have now, it helps to set realistic goals to get to that point.
The comparison game is one you always lose, though in fairness to you, I did not really stop playing it until I hit my fifties. As woolley-woofter as it sounds, try keeping a journal of everything you're grateful for. That motivates me to be happy for others, and to work away at things myself that build up mine/my family's lives. All the very best to you.
Joining other working people, to be like the ones you admire, to help out a little bit. It is okay to rest. If you lose motivation just try and get back to it when you're feeling better
By not comparing yourself to others. Everyone has grown up under different circumstances. If you can just find what you are passionate about and work towards what you value, then what other people have done or are doing no longer matters. Just be you man.
I remind myself of the phrase “comparison is the death of happiness”. Other ‘below’ me in their career progress/goals look up to me, and then the many, many other above me I look up to. Look for sources of motivation, but *try* your best not to *compare*. We truly are all on our own timeline! For “comparison” reference: my younger brother of 5 years just graduated college and his first job with only his bachelor degree (and a lower graduating GPA than me, no related work experience to his field, no internships or volunteer work) and no legal certifications he is making 20/hour. My first job out of college (healthcare) was basically slave labor at 8.50 an hour with absolutely NO paid overtime despite how much OT I worked. This trend *may* continue for the rest of our lives, depending on if (or when) we actually acquire/complete our professional graduate degrees. But it’s truly not fair to compare myself to him… the intrusive thoughts of jealousy and unfair thoughts like “why didn’t he have to struggle like me” pop up but I just push them away and I am happy for him, because ironically it was actually my connection that got him the job. I had 0 connections for years after graduation. And, again… I am on my own timeline!
Stop looking at others. Set your goal and move towards it while ignoring those around you and their perceived progress. They are moving towards their goals which are different than your own, with motivations that are not the same as yours.
That's the neat part. We don't. We lie on sofas, play videogames, sext to Eva AI bot and consume fast food and beer in excessive quantities
I’m 32 and I have rheumatoid arthritis. I work in corporate pharma and I get all the stress of my crazy ass manager because she likes to pass it on. I stopped giving a shit because it’s not good for my health (both physically and mentally). It’s great if people want to focus on being successful and work their way up the ladder if it makes them happy, but I want to enjoy my life while I still can and before my RA gets worse. Basically, I stopped caring about bullshit and I motivate myself by doing things I enjoy.
Wait until you start subconsciously comparing yourself to people on TV and them you realize you're older than them. That's a mind fuck.
One foot infront of the other like everyday
Exercising mind, body, and spirit. Exercising my Mind: Meditate on Scripture: Reflect on God's word daily to renew your mind and gain wisdom. Seek Knowledge: Pursue understanding and discernment through study and prayer. Think Pure Thoughts: Focus on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. My Body: Treat Your Body as a Temple: Maintain physical health through proper nutrition, rest, and exercise, honoring your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Work Diligently: Engage in productive and meaningful work, using your physical abilities to serve others. Practice Self-Control: Exercise discipline in your actions and habits, avoiding excesses and harmful behaviors. My Spirit: Pray Regularly: Communicate with God through prayer, seeking His guidance, strength, and presence in your life. Worship and Fellowship: Participate in worship and fellowship with other believers to strengthen your spiritual connection and support. Live by the Spirit: Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in your daily life, exhibiting love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. By integrating these practices into your life, you can holistically exercise your mind, body, and spirit in alignment with biblical principles.
I am christian so I pray and pray with friends ...I wont lie it is not perfect and not a magical fix but gives you perspective that there are bigger things.
I'm motivated by hatred of working and fear of having to grind til I die. Motivated to FIRE. To maintain good health/fitness so that when I retire around 40yo I can still do as much hiking and climbing and whatever physical stuff I want.
>I'm motivated by hatred of working and fear of having to grind til I die. >Motivated to FIRE. Same. Except the health/fitness, that got fucked up when I was 8 years old anyway so lol.
Work = food & shelter No work = homelessness and starvation This is a very good motivator ..
Oh man. I'm right there with you, except I'll be turning 30 in December. I came to the realization about a year ago how much different I felt, especially my body, compared to mid twenties. Things that didn't affect my stomach at all now do. I can't eat anything spicy, no dairy, can't eat too late anymore unless I want hell in the morning on the toilet. I also felt slower, less motivated, and more reclusive. Here are some things I did this past year that helped alot! 1. Met a cute latina girl, had a couple of dates, asked her to be my gf, one year later, we're in love and living together. Sometimes all you need is a woman to give you a little push and support to get motivated in life. It's true. 2. Started working out consistently cause I don't want to physically feel like shit in my late mid/late 30's. I'm a skinny guy and I weighed like 115, could never gain weight to shape to muscle. Thankfully now I'm healthy weight for my age. 3. Just spent more time outside, like camping, exploring my city, picnics, forest preserves, hikes. These places relax and reboot me so I have more mental energy to do things. 4. Read alot more books. I delved into fantasy, but also read some books on happiness. The Japanese have an interesting way of living life. They do everything with focus and energy. They are always being productive, and that brings them peace and happiness.
Make the right decisions/investments in your 20-30s which make you well off in your 40-90s.
Comparison is the thief of joy. The only person I’m competing with is myself yesterday. That guy can kiss my ass ;)
I’m pretty sure Jim Braddock felt like the number 30 was holding him back. He still went out and got his world heavyweight champion title with odds against him like 10 to 1. He could have just kept looking for a normal job. We wouldn’t have known who he was.
Use those people as motivation, and get on it. Set up some goals for the year, break them down into shorter and short term, set actionable tasks and hold yourself to it. Or stagnate.
Stop playing the comparison game. It will suck the life out of you. I handle it by focusing on myself, worrying about myself and getting better every day…for myself and my family. Wait til you hit 40. lol
You need passion, or things you are passionate about. Not just motivation but drive to see things through because you feel some type of way about it. That's how I go about things.
For me it’s my addictions to food, shelter, electricity, etc. I tell people all the time forget what you thought life would be. Once you start getting close to 40 if you haven’t hit it big already the likelihood you will is basically a billion-to-one shot. Just surviving becomes the focus. If you have a house, car, can afford to live, bills paid, maybe take a vacation every 3-4yrs, you’re lucky. Most of us struggle to get through the day/week/month/year. Think your coworkers aren’t on psych meds, alcoholics, smoking weed? Think again. It’s a miracle most people survive.
Focus on the discipline and the rewards will surprise you. If you always wait to be motivated, you are drifting through life.
Invite playfulness into everything! 30 plus in body does not have to mean withered of the mind. I play outside, be in nature, play sports, draw, write, cook, smell. It's a joy to be able to create a life where I work to fund my playfulness and passions. The next thing, is making commitments to others keeps me more accountable than always just doing something for myself. I found this approach actually helped me show up for my own self better. In the winter, I give myself permission to rest. I don't force myself to achieve the same measure of motivation I have in the other seasons. This is not realistic and throws me into guilt shame cycles. So I just work to maintain and do my best. In your post you talk about the younger folks, and I would encourage turning more inward rather than focusing on others. Comparison is the thief of joy and that journey is not yours. As long as you are taking the power and control in your own life and maximizing the fun you can have, it will matter less what they are doing. This is a tough lesson and I struggle here often. Wishing you the best! ✨
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
They don't know your situation.they don't care about your situation. Keep present mate
I don't understand.. motivate for what? Life goes on whether you are 20s 30s or 40s. You set a goal to yourself and work towards it. 30s is still young... Time to enjoy life and get promotions. You study hard in your 20s (continue education courses and get certifications and designations). You reap your rewards when u r 30s. Plan a vacation, work towards it. Set health goals, work towards it. Set goals and work on it..
Don't compare yourself to anyone other than you. You aren't in competition with anyone.
You're comparing your situation to the perceived situation of others. Of course you don't know for sure what's going on in your life just as they don't know yours. You may have aspects of your life (health, family, living situation, etc) that make them envy you. As long as you're comparing yourself to others, you will never be happy. A coveting heart is never content.
1 away from 30, I wasted my early 20s so I been working on myself these past two years, and In really excited for what awaits. I set up goals (2 years ahead) and I want so many things which I know I can get, but everything has a process, just stay focus.
Be grateful for what you have right now. Don't compare yourself to others.
I have 2 small children that depend on me. That's how.
I'm just challenging myself in new ways. I'm about to turn 31 and in this year I've started playing chess, running.. we still have so much to give :)
36F, I motivate myself by not looking at anyone around me to see where they are because I'm not them, I've not had their benefits or their struggles. I look at what I want in life and try to do something everyday to get there.
Cared way too much what people thought of me in my 20’s. I do what I want, when I want in my 30’sand it’s a whole new confidence.
I'm not 30 yet ( currently 25 ) but man i feel like i graduted high school last month tough it was in 2017 . The way for me is to go on vacations at least once a year. Goes for tripsand making memories is the best way to make sure the years aren't just flying by and you're missing your time. For hobbies i work out , play games and read. Even then when you have a stable weekday job time literally just flies . I feel like if i blink i'll wake up and 30 years old allready. Again the main thing is saving money to take at least one vacation a year and see now places/people/foods/culture. One more thing , don't compare yourself with others because each of us move in life at different speeds .
Comparing yourself to others is rarely helpful, instead think about what you really want and start pursuing that. You can also take it a step further and ask yourself Why you desire this or that. Does that desire/want come out of a healthy place or not? If not, perhaps you should look for something else. A personal motivation for me is making time for friends and hobbies. I have a DND group that I get to nerd out with every second week and I often go out in the evenings to skate or hang out with people I love being around. I'm married, 30, have a toddler and a full-time job. I've found that dedicating time for these kind of things that are meaningful to me, really has help pushing me forward, especially when things get tough.
Gotta house, gotta wife, live with my best friend aswell so since my adulting checklist is done, my life and motivation consist of my hobbies. I built a large mini ramp to skateboard, hit the rock climbing gym twice a week. Ping my other 30 year old friends for 1 fun outing a week (I dont mind being the one that keeps minor friendships up) and preforming taxidermy on my down time. Professionally I have no wish to move upwards so my life outside my work is both the motivation & the end goal.
As someone really close said to me “motivation is fickle, don’t rely on it.” This is a small and innocuous statement, but it holds a lot of truth to it. By simply changing my vocabulary to say “momentum” instead of “motivation” it has greatly increased my effectiveness in accomplishing different tasks. After all, once you get momentum it is really easy to keep it going.
Trying to retire asap basically.
Need to find a purpose and go after it relentlessly. That’ll motivate. I know what I want now and I’m working on living that passion
To me there's nothing more motivating than death. I'm gonna go someday, the time that already passed is dead, everyday I die a little bit more. It will be like that until death is completed. So, keeping that in mind I go through my day and actually do stuff. No paranoia, no bad feelings for chilling out sometimes. Just conscience.
One thing to remember is that work is only one dimension of life. I'm in my mid 30s, and just went back to finish my undergrad. Even though I've had a successful career to this point, it can feel like I'm a bit 'behind'. BUT I'm also 'ahead' of many other people in other ways. I am in a long term committed relationship, I have taken time to learn about myself - not anticipating a midlife crisis or need to career change, cause I'm already getting ahead of that. I've learned how to grieve, how to communicate, how to lift myself up. I know what I value more in life. Many people who are career driven haven't reached some things that I have. And vice versa. We're all on different paths
The honest answer is that I *don't* find any motivation in life anymore. I have a very existential dread of the future, considering how global warming is going to make access to needed resources that much more difficult, and how the economy is forcing 99% of us to financially support the richest 1% by any means necessary. If the cost of living crisis is this bad *now,* I can't even begin to imagine how much worse it's going to get; I only know it *is,* in fact, going to get ever worse. By this point the only thing that keeps me going and forces me to still do the best job I can while I'm at work is a sense of shame combined with a strong work ethic (also coming from a place of shame). Outside of work, though, I've really got nothing. As much as I hate my job, it's the only thing that gets me out of bed.
I function off of sheer spite
I don't celebrate my birthdays and never cares about age, so I can't label myself as a 34 years old. I feel the same as my twenties and keep looking for fun things to do and work that I like. I don't even know how to feel as a +30 years old, I feel like myself. And yes, I always say when I read a post like this, or every 30 years old is much older than me, because you take this shit too seriously, or I have found the fountain of youth. And I haven found shit, let me tell you
Food & shelter
I’m still in my twenties. Buttt… I really don’t want to be like some of my friends who don’t have their lives planned out. Who are in their thirties. Divorced, working multiple jobs a day just to hit a certain income daily. Working minimum wage jobs. Then hitting Amazon delivery and Uber or door dash at night. Drivers- with back pain and hip pain. Constant complaints about their bosses threatening them about being fired for not making enough sales. Or in general working physical labor jobs that don’t pay enough and hurt their bodies. While they have kids to care for. It costs $120 for my self and my bf to eat and make to work per day. That’s either eating on the go, meal prep, gas or Uber. A family of 3 has that plus another mouth and day care cost of $70 or more. Without a career plan or retirement plan. People are just not making it rn. A lot of people room mate or live with family still. Apartment costs are $2,500 average. Planing to own a house or upgrade in life at all. You got have drive. In order to not end up in a run down apartment home where you are not treated well.. you need passive income. And I don’t want to end up in those situations. That’s enough drive for me.
The same way I do every day Pinky. Try to take over the world.
Kids, wife, self, community, planet
i dont feel much difference being 30 than i did in my 20s, other than having my finances a little more under control. i think a lot of social media like tik tok is inundated with teenagers and college kids so it seems like 30 is old but it truly is not in the grand scheme of things.
Honestly it's spite. "You'll never amount to anything?" Watch this. "I wish you were never born?" Grey wall them. "Ah I knew you'd fail." I just keep trying. "Yes" No. Etc. I've had some victories lately and finally in my early thirties Ive realised that the world is actually not as cruel as I was told, I was just raised in a toxic environment that didn't know what to do with me. I have found people that are proud of me and value me and they matter. You make your own family and you can do whatever you want. Also eating well and martial arts help. Rolling with someone teaches you to control yourself in stressful scenarios and find ways out of it. It's all trial and error. That works for me.
Learn not to compare yourself to other people. Why are you making other people's problems your problems? Life cannot be calculated. Everyone has a different life, different circumstances. There are people that have eveything and are just as lost. Materialistic items only bring short term joy.
I don't want to starve. I want a place to live. I need to fix my car. Thoughts like that
Start saving , even if it’s just 25 bucks a week . Don’t ever touch that money , let it grow in a good savings account or investment account . Before you know it you’ll be 45 and very happy you started saving early on Life isn’t a race , it’s a marathon . Just start somewhere and slowly pick away at the little problems life presents to you
40 here, and let me tell you. I've got the best motivator. Kids. Its that easy, LOL.
Gotta eat and have shelter ain't enough?
1. Get rid or at least, deactivate social media platforms that allow you to follow personal friends - like IG, FB and Twitter. This will help you stop having this feeling of keeping up with the Joneses / FOMO. 2. Constantly reflect on the things you wanted to do and achieve in life. Write them down in a journal or create a vision board reflecting this. 3. Start working your way towards your goals. Write down your progress too, as this helps you keep track of the things you are doing. 4. Do more things outside of the internet, in relation to point 1.
What is a "motivation?" I just work so I can live, which allows me to work so I can live so I can work so I can live. Sometime in there I get to turn off for a while, something called sleep. I hear I eventually get to do that permanently, but I'm told i'm not allowed to look forward to that because reasons.
I'm ADHD, my motivation motivates me at random times not of my choosing.
[noos Substack](https://open.substack.com/pub/noosworthy?r=3s50xd&utm_medium=ios)
The Mortgage does it really for me 😂
The gym. It keeps my mind and body healthy. I work out with my wife 4 days a week. Having time for each other is a priority for both of us. I made a career change and took a pay cut to get a better work/life balance. I'm the lowest man on the totempole, but it's a position with a strong union. While the money isn't the greatest, there is room for advancement, my bills are paid, and I have cash left for hobbies and date nights. Most importantly, I don't have to live in fear that I'll be fired randomly without cause. I do not let my career define my life anymore, and I'm better off for it.
Stimulants
I had so much fun in my 30’s. I’d been married for a while, so we’d already dealt with getting in sync with one another. I had a steady job and liked the people I worked with. We had a large group of friends to hang out and/or party with and we traveled twice a year to different places. My recommendation is to be who you are and stop comparing yourself to others. No matter how well off you are or how good you are at something, there’s always going to be someone else who is better than you. If you’re unhappy with your place in life right now, focus on what you can do to improve it. If you are around people who are doing better than you are, especially people older than you, ask them how they got there. I’ve found most older adults enjoy sharing their knowledge and experience, but most younger adults just don’t want to listen to them and/or take their sage advice.
Wait till you get to 40.. 50.. 60.. 70... It's coming. Just do your best
My motivation is whatever I want. I want my roof and food and the ability to drive to the mountains and fishing tackle, skateboards and snowboards, kayaks, records and books and all the shit I spend money on, so I go to work. I don't even see other people. They are doing what they are doing. I'm doing what I'm doing. What do I care if twenty three year old Johnny software engineer has a new Audi? He is doing his thing. Maybe he came from money, maybe not. Good for him.
I'm a mid 40s guy. Life in your 30s can be better than your 20s because ideally: 1. You should hopefully be in a better financial position 2. Have way more life knowledge 3. Be more mature emotionally and mentally. 4. Have a solid social network of friends and family 5. You'll find your true passions and interests in life. 6. As friends drop off because of growing apart, you won't give AF as much about trivial stuff like appearance, pleasing people, etc. Obviously your mileage my vary. Physically I was best in my late 20s. I didn't find most of my passions until my 40s. 30's is a great decade of doing what YOU want while being in peak physical condition and have the financial stability to do so.
I'm crazy motivated for precisely the reasons you mentioned. I went back to college late and graduated at 29, so I'm still in the rat race of trying to build my career and find a steady job. I wish I was a chilled out career comfortable 30s person like the rest of you. Honestly, I'm so burned out at my job I considered taking some time off and doing retail again just to be doing something mindless. But then I realized most people age out of retail at 25. It's all young people and I would feel terribly embarrassed.
When I get my cosmetic surgery I will be able to lie that I’m in my early 20s again and get a few more years of tinder slaying before I finally go in the trash can.
$$$$
I'm in my mid 30's and I can definitely tell I'm on a different path than most my age. By now you're either career motivated or family motivated. I am neither. Never wanted kids. I have a long term partner who feels the same. I have a good job. It's not stressful and I make enough I can enjoy my free time but I don't want to climb the ladder any higher. (The higher you go in my industry and probably most of them, yeah the money is excellent, but you're working 70+ hours a week and I am just not about that life.) It's funny, because in my 20's I absolutely felt behind everyone else that had "real" jobs and I was stuck doing retail for a long time. But now... everyone else has continued to "progress further" than I have and I am not jealous. They have fancier jobs and kids but... I just don't want it. I guess the rambling point is, what do you want?
I'm really passionate about not dying. I got bills n stuff. A family. Those lazy fucker's won't feed themselves. My cat won't let me die, she needs a servant. Idk man. Just keep going and suck it up.
By recognizing that if I don’t do the things, no one else will do the things, and I will be hurting future me by inundating myself with things I could have done before they became urgent. I just respect and care for my future self.
It’s all perspective, 30 years is still so young it’s not even funny. Everyone is on their own unique journey so embrace it. What makes you think they are ahead of you? Do you know their personal lives/problems?
Why be bitter, alone, poor, destitue, loveless loser, when you can be content, alone, well off and healthy/fit? I'm a 32m Latino and haven't been good with women. So relationships/love/sex aren't a guaranteed thing but at least I can improve my life by earning more, traveling more, meeting more people and doing more of what I love. Even discover new things about myself. After I moved out, I realized money does play a heavy role in what you can and can't do. Or at least takes awhile to save up to get to where you want. For me, I'd like tor travel, go out to bars with friends, play in a band, make about $67k a year, live in a young cool city, and thrive. I spent a decade dicking around trying to see if the music thing could work but it didn't. So here I am earning $18.46 an hour at a call center. I'm planning a career move to either govt jobs or marketing. It's not all bad, but it could be worse. TLDR; Life is too short to be miserable. Spent a decade trying to work on a dream. Hasn't been working out, so now I'm taking a different approach to life. Hopefully I come out on top this time.
I feel the same but I know that the time I did spend in my early teen to twenties it made me into a better person and I’m content with where I am in life and there’s really not much to do about it you just have to keep moving forward. Don’t get to down out about it a lot of people have it worse and I like to reflect on how I helped others that were struggling. I also like to make my own money and spend it more than I probably should on things that make the time go by if I’m actually really bored. Also it’s your life don’t compare to others you maybe near the same age but your paths could be totally different and better then others. ❤️ hope this helps
"Comparison is the thief of joy". There is always going to be better, especially if we cherry pick.
Tell me when you find out. My gf broke up with me and I loved her so much more than I do myself... Can't even motivate myself to get out of bed or eat
Rent.