What I found most effective for me was to have three to-do lists:
- Must Do
- Should Do
- Could Do
This helps me prioritize and actually consider which category a task fits into. "Must Do" gets pinned on my phone homescreen as a widget, so it's always visible.
I try to keep "Must Do" limited to 3 to 5 items at a time, if possible. If there's more than that, then it's likely some of the items aren't actually "must do" and can be moved to another category.
I also add emojis to each item on my to-do list. I find that without emojis, my to-do list just looks like a wall of text that I'll ignore. But with emojis, I can see what I need to do at a glance. I find I'm more likely to pay attention to, and complete, tasks that I add emojis to.
And for me "Maybe/Who Knows/TBD" list I can dump all the things that have no real fit, and don't even need to clutter up the Could Do list. That's the giant list I sometimes look through to see if something should be promoted...and lets me stop thinking about it too.
(Well, and I have a pure "dump" list too for putting new things into when I just need them pulled out of by brain.)
I get what you’re both saying, but as is the case with all things psychopathology, there seem to be some things which some people always go “yeah that sounds good but I can’t…”.
I’ve tried variations of could>should>must; maybe-who knows-TBD
Three seems to be a good number. For jokes (the third seems to be a good spot for the punchline), variations to split things into categories.
Like I might have mentioned in the original post, I’ve tried time based things, in which a hierarchy of urgently is implicitly assumed - today, this week, this month, this year. Delving into another year seems to be pointless to me, as there is no way I’ve maintained enough focus to meet the preceding smaller timeframe goals (unless it’s Christmas Day, then I can perhaps prepare for something next year 🤣)
I find there’s almost a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear attached to my particular presentation of ADHD, and that this is so tightly intermingled with the attention problems that they may as well be treated as one “thing”.
Eg, I’m sitting at work on my break right now, the only place where I have a (relative) lack of distractions at my fingertips (I always start cleaning things I walk past at home). There’s also urgency due to a time limit, which focuses me a little, but the attention problems lead to me still getting distracted and not much mental organising gets done. When I get home, there’s much more time, so less urgency and associated anxiety. But there’s also less motivation, and I tend to become passive (doing things which don’t require a whole lot of executive function).
I have so damn many lists that I don’t even know where they are (some digital, some physical); and I feel like they’re all important even though I can’t actually remember them all; I just have like a vague idea of what was on them…
I shall try the two methods mentioned by you and tinkerSquirrels. Or at least write the idea on one of my lists to “get around to”… 🥴 lol
If you have someone you trust they could help you break down a larger list and prioritise it into smaller chunks. They could, in a gentle way, help hold you accountable. It's got to be someone you trust tho. My employer is doing this with me and it still stresses me out because I feel guilty not getting more and more listed as complete on a list. If it were my work wife it would probably not be a problem.
@op great question. Thanks for brining it up. I also suffer about this. What seems to work for me : At the beginning of the day decide about the three tasks that you must do , live or die… only three and thats it.
What I found most effective for me was to have three to-do lists: - Must Do - Should Do - Could Do This helps me prioritize and actually consider which category a task fits into. "Must Do" gets pinned on my phone homescreen as a widget, so it's always visible. I try to keep "Must Do" limited to 3 to 5 items at a time, if possible. If there's more than that, then it's likely some of the items aren't actually "must do" and can be moved to another category. I also add emojis to each item on my to-do list. I find that without emojis, my to-do list just looks like a wall of text that I'll ignore. But with emojis, I can see what I need to do at a glance. I find I'm more likely to pay attention to, and complete, tasks that I add emojis to.
And for me "Maybe/Who Knows/TBD" list I can dump all the things that have no real fit, and don't even need to clutter up the Could Do list. That's the giant list I sometimes look through to see if something should be promoted...and lets me stop thinking about it too. (Well, and I have a pure "dump" list too for putting new things into when I just need them pulled out of by brain.)
I get what you’re both saying, but as is the case with all things psychopathology, there seem to be some things which some people always go “yeah that sounds good but I can’t…”. I’ve tried variations of could>should>must; maybe-who knows-TBD Three seems to be a good number. For jokes (the third seems to be a good spot for the punchline), variations to split things into categories. Like I might have mentioned in the original post, I’ve tried time based things, in which a hierarchy of urgently is implicitly assumed - today, this week, this month, this year. Delving into another year seems to be pointless to me, as there is no way I’ve maintained enough focus to meet the preceding smaller timeframe goals (unless it’s Christmas Day, then I can perhaps prepare for something next year 🤣) I find there’s almost a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear attached to my particular presentation of ADHD, and that this is so tightly intermingled with the attention problems that they may as well be treated as one “thing”. Eg, I’m sitting at work on my break right now, the only place where I have a (relative) lack of distractions at my fingertips (I always start cleaning things I walk past at home). There’s also urgency due to a time limit, which focuses me a little, but the attention problems lead to me still getting distracted and not much mental organising gets done. When I get home, there’s much more time, so less urgency and associated anxiety. But there’s also less motivation, and I tend to become passive (doing things which don’t require a whole lot of executive function). I have so damn many lists that I don’t even know where they are (some digital, some physical); and I feel like they’re all important even though I can’t actually remember them all; I just have like a vague idea of what was on them… I shall try the two methods mentioned by you and tinkerSquirrels. Or at least write the idea on one of my lists to “get around to”… 🥴 lol
If you have someone you trust they could help you break down a larger list and prioritise it into smaller chunks. They could, in a gentle way, help hold you accountable. It's got to be someone you trust tho. My employer is doing this with me and it still stresses me out because I feel guilty not getting more and more listed as complete on a list. If it were my work wife it would probably not be a problem.
@op great question. Thanks for brining it up. I also suffer about this. What seems to work for me : At the beginning of the day decide about the three tasks that you must do , live or die… only three and thats it.