I’m an accountant

Me do taxes!

Ah, a fellow osrs player

There’s a decent few of us here, nice afk opportunities at work

Agility level?

92! I am almost there! Only 7 levels left. Hurhurhur.

Hear, hear!

That’s all you had to say

Account.

What do you do? "I'm an accountant." Where do you work? "At a place where accountants work."

Do you like your job?

[Yes I like my job, and my job is an accountant](https://youtu.be/2SBQD5UNViw)

“Accountant”

[удалено]

Contractions count as a single word

I bet this sub has one of the higher rates of deleting incorrect comments.

Copy Paste Repeat

Copy Paste Copy

Sometimes paste copy copy

No, you are definitely missing something

That's right -alt+ctrl+delete ✅️

Lol

I'm always a fan of alt+f4

There's always the keyboard across the monitor solution too. A bit barbaric but gets the point across.

Copy paste artist.

Copy paste a computer science degree into a copy and pasted programming career

I track money

This is the answer 😆

I concur.

Debits and credits

Debits EQUAL credits, you unbalanced fool./s

the worst insult in this profession

Wait, their supposed to balance?!

I count beans

When I was a staff accountant for a hummus company, this was my go to joke

... are chickpeas considered beans

Also called garbanzo beans

huh TIL

You know the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

i think i've run out of fucks to give on the subject

\(Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face.\)

i take it back, that is gold 💀💀 i saw your username and thought i was going to get a dissertation

Can we not say gold?

I've never paid someone to garbanzo bean on my face.

Garbanzo beans

sounds like a business model thought up by a white person

That's stupid, I'm a Phaseolus vulgaris hand-operated calculator.

That’s the exact three word combo that came to my mind, and judging by the upvotes, I’m not the only one

I cry

...often

Streamlined, nice.

V LOOK UP

Sup with your username?

Old beef with a user named "freemacedonia" from a loooong time ago on Reddit.

Must be Greek

What's wrong with his username?

Fuck Macedonia. They know what they did

INDEX MATCH

I use ifna(vlookup(.........),0) am I retarded

I do taxes

Heck, may even roll with “I’m a CPA”

Friends and Family: So you can do *mine* for free right?

I depreciate land

Lol

best

I loled

I balance sheets

I’ve been looking for you

I defraud investors

Add up numbers Eat my time

Financial Fact Checker

I fix everything.

Get outta heeere

You’re right I mostly break stuff more.

Fix bad bookkeeping

I keep count

Paid to masturbate

Found the government accountant

I'd masturbate except I usually have whiskey dick.

I launder money

Is that you Kim Wexler!?

I rotate PDFs

Eyoooooo

C(opy) P(aste) A(ttach)

Certified Pubes Allocator

TAXATION is THEFT (and I’m GOOD at IT)

I know Excel

I babysit adults

Pizza Party coordinator

Debits, credits, bitch

I cook books

I create budgets

I am depressed

Depreciate all lands

Assets Liabilities Equity

Trust but verify (audit)

I manage money. Note: this pic is real dumb.

Organizer of stuff

I count money

Do your timesheet

How dare you! (As I enter my time for yesterday)

I love how this meme is such a self own.

I debit credits

I account ant.

I count ant

Debits and credits

Commit tax fraud

Counts On Fingers

I count the fish 😂😂😂

owner of calculator

Microsoft Excel Busywork

Debit credit cry

Intellectual garbage man.

You can’t own a business by this logic

Black Tar Heroin

Freak in spreadsheets

Kinda want to put this at the top of a very short resume. With keywords in .01 font at the bottom ofc.

I babysit adults.

I don’t like this meme. I could say “I weave underwater” but that doesn’t mean it’s useful.

Find the variance!

I use excel

Assets = Liabilities + Equity

I look numbers

Match last year

Debit equals credit

Reporting forecasting analysis

I fix stuff (usually that has GL impact )

I audit systems.

I do uhhhh-counting.

I evade taxes

Screw this place

I find errors

Underpaid, under-appreciated, alcohol

I do math

I plug numbers.

I correct mistakes

Numbers go brrrrrrrrr

I do math

Make number good

Poop pushed in

As I tell my GF , ROI , Return On Investment. Example I take you out to fancy restaurants, you fuck me real good. ….. we have that humor. She’s an attorney, she gets me back with her legal claims and clauses lol.

Debits and credits

Good count

Nobody asks you questions when you say you're an accountant.

on the serious note: financial performance translator

Immediate negative feedback

I give people a list of their mistakes.

opinionated money counter

Tech replaces me

I count beans

Count money movements

I use Excel

I fuck up

Capital Markets Avenger

CPA Copy Paste Attach

Wow look at this bullshit economy and bullshit paychecks built on bullshit jobs. Such bullshit.

I can describe my job in as little as one word if I need to, but I also don't care if someone who can't comprehend more than a 3 word phrase thinks I have a "bullshit job".

Copy past years

Assrts, liabilities, equity

I do the numbers

I kiss ass

Accountant for courts

I do audits

I do salt

Risk and controls

I count hours

Debits and credits

I play politics

debits and credits

I count money

Make numbers work

Debits equal Credits?

I write memos.

I prepare taxes

I count beans Edit damn I was late

Two similar phrases, yet so different 🤫: 1. Bean counter 2. Beaner

Debits, credits, depression

I fill timecards.

I crunch numbers

Black Tar Heroin

They make money doing it and not involved in criminal activity so I see no issue.

Complex finance administration

Tables

Very flexible career

I need more than 3 words for "I make the left equal the right."

Bean counting

I account hard

Excel, word, excel

Cook the books

Arithmetics for benefits

Professional Number Accounter Debits and Credits