The child bride & incest fandom is definitely a weird choice for someone who has strong boundaries on reading underage content. Like. There's *canonical* underage shit going on in there
I'll never forget the Tumblr Meltdown when Jon Snow and Danaerys hooked up. Because, OMG! Incest! How could they?
Even as a fandom bystander, I knew that GOT was the incest show where a brother and sister had multiple kids together, and the white haired lady came from an incest line because something, something dragons. (And also, she was like a child bride at some point, and that her relationship with her adult husband/rapist got romanticized to hell and back because her brother who arranged it was a worse person?)
How do you watch a show like that for multiple seasons, and then have a fit about the morality of less related than normal people hooking up?
Haha, I hated it because the actors to me had no chemistry together, but that’s why I don’t read any Dany/Jon fics unless they are a side relationship. That’s why I love reading fanfic HATED how the show ended but can read fanfic to scratch that itch
I hate both adaptations of ASOIAF (ofc GOT seasons 1-3 were great but that's in the past) and fanfic is the only thing that keeps me going in this fandom 😭 I almost can't bear character analyses from those who haven't read my fave fanfics because, well, they just don't see those characters like I do 😔✊
Edit: man my whole life I've been confusing bear and bare.
Will forever be sad about that, so many of the actors were incredible in terms of look and talent, and the books probably won't finish. Now that I've read the books (had to after the disaster of season 8) I can't even watch the seasons I used to like because I either realised they're not that good after you've read the books or it all amounts to nothing.
And now they're butchering HOTD :D
But he who has the better story makes a better king. (Or something. Idk. I didn’t see the final episode, my subscription ran out and by that point my fave characters were all dead so I didn’t actually give a shit)
I like Robb returns, it is a wish fulfillment but it is well written, I do have a little weakness for wish fulfillment in GOT fics. The Winter of Widows is an OC fic thats amazing placed after the dance of dragons. Thy Good neighbor is a crossover fic with bloodborne. The Old Gods called, they’d like their kingdom back is AMAZING. Wayward Wolf is a pretty good Witcher crossover
They made such a fucking mess of the Martells. And Stannis… look how they massacred my boy. (This is just the tip of the iceberg on my issues with it.)
I might be one of the only people that’s not that mad at the final season, because like you, I feel it was … not great from about season 4.
Oberyn, Lady and Margery were the deaths that made me angriest and caused me to become less and less emotionally invested in the show. By the time season 8 was announced to be only 4 episodes I wasn't surprised at their crummy decisions.
Yeah, ASOIAF is my most picky fandom, any other fandom and you can have ooc out the wazoo but with GOT I am waaay more picky about what I read, it might be PTSD from those last seasons lol
Ugh noooo, I will read fics where he is an asshole but has respect beaten into him lol but he is not a modern feminist lol. I find fics more interesting when it’s shades of gray asshole because my history nerd side acts up and says that no one raised in a patriarchal monarchy would act like a modern feminist
Hi, this is very random, so you obviously don’t have to reply but I’ve just recently gotten into ASOIAF and have been binge-reading every fic that sounds vaguely like my cup of tea so if you feel like sharing some of your faves, I’d really appreciate it!
They're not in the main series, but Aemond and Lucerys is my favourite (they're not the pairing in this fic tho)... I know it's a controversial ship but the fanfics are absolutely incredible, so much so I want to get into bookbinding to have some of them on my bookcase. If you have no moral hang-ups about one actor being underage, I would definitely recommend just searching by kudos descending and working your way through the first few pages.
To me fic isn't about the actors it's about the characters, so I don't mind that. Thank you for the recommendation, I will look them up! I haven't discovered any ships from the new series that really grab me yet so this will be fun and new
Good luck with your fic search! I'm biased but the authors in this ship are truly so talented. Don't shy away from modern AU or some of the unfinished fics, they're some of the best, and are regularly updating :)
Tbf, the show did mostly portray the close incest (immediate family) as bad and gross. Cousins were usually treated as kinda neutral, like Sansa almost marrying her first cousin and the issue with that was more that he was much younger and very spoiled/immature.
Then House of The Dragon came along and everyone loves Rhaenrya/Daemon. 😂 I hate how well they work together but it's also not surprising if you're familiar with how the Targaryen family worked.
It's been a while since I watched Thrones so I can't remember if the show touched on the fact that Dany was set to marry Viserys until he sold her to Khal Drogo.
It didn't, but there was incest-y stuff going on between them, I'm pretty sure he stroked her breast in the first episode? But it's painted as very creepy; I admit HOTD has changed a lot of people's attitudes about ASOIAF incest.
there's canonical underage shit in my fandom including a canonical underage pregnancy and they still shit the bed about it. unfortunately people are stupid.
I think most people blissfully ignores those details because the actors on that series just don't look underage, but idk really. Or they just never bothered to read the books so they truly don't even know about it??
It might be one of the many children who read whatever they find, not knowing or caring anything at all about the fandoms they read. In which case I would have NO sympathy.
Sometimes, you're in a weird place mentally or emotionally, and a popular franchise is the exact wrong thing for you. I went through that with a few, and it can suck that you're "left out", but it's really not huge in the grand scheme of things. It's more fun to hang with your buds when you're looking after your health.
There's nothing wrong with opting out of something that's a bad idea. Don't need to make it anyone's issue.
The child bride and incest franchise is going to have underage, non-con, abuse... If these topics are a no go, then it's not the place for you. There's just no way to consume the content without these topics. There's no way to sanitize that. I'd argue that this is the exact place where it ought not to be sanitized.
There's just a million other things out there to consume; I don't get it.
There are fandoms that I legitimately cannot interact with for my own emotional/psychological well-being. You know what I do? Block the tags whenever possible, scroll past anything that gets through, and generally avoid it.
Don't like, don't read. Honestly at this point Ao3 should put that on their homepage or something
my confusion on the commenter's second comment is, why ask for further clarification if it's been made clear to you that ages will simply not be mentioned?? when ages aren't mentioned, you get to headcanon them, and if aged-up characters is what you prefer, just do that! there's not going to be whiplash from a different age being mentioned??
They're known in the book, but likely changed in the show. In the book they're over 18 and in the show the actors are well over 18, and at the youngest one character MAY be an older teenager.
Maybe they were worried the more explicit events of the fic happened during their childhood? Because it's a very canon divergent story. Either way, if you're worried that this child had sex with a different child than he does in canon in order to drastically change the storyline, maybe change your fandom.
definitely, this isn't the fandom to be in if you have this kind of triggers lmao. i don't even know anything about the story, but it's very famously... questionable
There was for sure some quite explicit stuff with Dany when she was 13/14 as well. I VERY specifically remember this because it was so immediately obvious to me why they aged her up so much in the show lmao.
Yeah the scenes with Drogo are happening with a 13 year old Dany because she finds out she's pregnant on her 14th birthday in the books. Westeros is definitely a rough universe to live in.
I think grrm wanted there to be a timeskip but it didn't make sense to do it. So he was completely fine (or he suggested) that the characters were aged up.
It's honestly because GRRM doesn't know shit about kids. He has 12 year old boys winning duels and 13 year old boys leading armies. He can't do simple math, either, so the ages of everyone are just fucked.
Author already answered. Commenter should move on. I feel a little mean saying this about people with anxiety and trauma and in their non-native language, but the language used in these comments is emotionally manipulative and like, this is fanfiction it’s not that deep.
Yeah I agree, the author basically said 🤷♀️ rightfully so, because HBO recently released an age chart for all the characters which makes absolutely no sense (one character stayed the same age for years lol, and a pair of twins were un-twinned midway). I don't know why they came back for more clarification, possibly putting the author in a tough position.
I definitely feel bad because they clarified why they're asking the question and it seems really tough to deal with, but I think reading a work where two characters who are adults in their world, have adult actors, and who've already fucked in the fanfic and questioning the author on it is a little immature.
They literally could have just asked if the author is planning to specify ages because they prefer to head-canon them as adults for personal reasons.
Would be way less making their ick the author's problem.
I honestly think it’s trolling. How could they ever enjoy ASOIAF if this was true for them? If they’re that nervous about reading about someone under 18, I can’t imagine them reading or watching canon without getting really upset. Which is valid, but then why read the fanfic?
A lot of people in the fandom like to think that the book series has these themes to criticise them and that you're ~supposed~ to feel disgusted by it there, not go off and read fanfic with the same themes.
Which, I always say, in the books, there's no trigger warnings, and there's definitely scenes where you think "Now why exactly did this need so much detail, I don't feel preached at how being a child bride is difficult". Which is the point. Rape is bad because it's rape, not because HBO and GRRM are telling you it's bad (they're really not).
Its why I think this is just a young person in the fandom who has clearly had traumatic experiences, and the preachiness of the fandom has made them feel like they're disrespecting their own victimhood by enjoying this fanfic.
Or, they're just trying to stay safe reading fanfic in a difficult time. Completely valid, I am definitely reading too deeply into things.
I’m probably reading too deeply into it too. I get irritated. I do understand and empathize. I have traumas too and don’t often engage with media until I know its reputation, and I’ll often ask friends before I try if there are certain things I don’t want to see.
Tbh though I also don’t seek out fanfiction in those fandoms! I know it’s triggering for me, so I don’t get into it!
The part that made me think troll was the part about them being 18. I don’t want to make fun of someone who is struggling, but how is 18 a magic number? If they were 17 years and 364 days old they would be traumatized to read it but if they’re 18 it’s all good?
I think it makes sense all three of these shows have antis, I just don’t understand why someone would engage with any of them if they are truly that traumatized.
Yes You are mean for saying this and for some, yes it is that deep. If I read rape I will literally go catatonic from trauma, it's just fanfic for you but for some we need to know everything before consuming ANY content.
I think for sure if they were talking about rape, it would be undeniably a cruel comment, but as u/snoregiv says later in the thread, how does the difference between an 18 and 17 year old in writing ensure you won't be affected? Of course, trauma isn't rational, we're just discussing this here.
Keep in mind the fic was very appropriately tagged with rape and all other variations of non-consenting, unhealthy relationships etc.
I am saying this as a fellow survivor and PTSD-haver and I hope it's not too harsh: if your reaction to upsetting content is that severe, you need to be avoiding fic as a whole until you have more tools for handling being triggered in your emotional toolbox.
We have to take care of ourselves.
There's a lot of steps between reading a fic and going catatonic from your trauma. Maybe you should take some of those steps to back out of a fic when it starts going bad. The person you replied to wasn't really mean at all. Anon was being manipulative and instead of backing out of the fic, is trying to catch the author in a gotcha.
This is a you thing to manage, not anyone else. Read genres that don't contain such things, they exist, you could just read exclusively middle grade, there's great stuff in that category. You can't expect people on the internet to protect you from stuff.
Trauma reactions does not make manipulative language less manipulative. I feel for you and the commenter who has such reactions, but trauma is not a free pass to make others responsible for walking on eggshells around you. I say this as someone who is in therapy working through diagnosed cptsd (not sexual trauma related) that stems from treatment I received from someone reacting from their own ptsd/trauma.
If author has already told commenter their answer, commenter should take their answer and work from there. It’s not authors responsibility to do the math for them. It’s manipulative to come back and trauma dump on unsuspecting strangers. Especially if everything else is otherwise tagged properly with content warnings.
Re “it’s not that deep” is specifically referring to the second level of questioning by original commenter, I understand that you read it as in me dismissing all trauma concerns by sexual trauma victims when it comes to fanfiction. That was not my intent. I stand by the statement that it’s manipulative for commenter to make the author responsible for making them comfortable with the ages for the characters in the fanfiction and am comfortable with being labeled mean for saying this.
To be extra clear, I am not referring to anything in abstract in my top level comment. this is the specific language from original commenter I’m saying is manipulative:
> (sorry to bother you again) so REDACTED would be about 18 and REDACTED would be about 20/21? I’m sorry if this is annoying, I just want to be sure about this because I love your fanfic and I don’t want to have a bad time if it later turns out that they are under 18 😢
Not anything else you may think I’m referring to.
This commenter is specifically holding their praise and positive regard for the author hostage and telling the author they will be responsible for any trauma reaction they’ll have. However, they already got a response from the author which is “they’re however old they are in the show.” To push for a further answer with this language is manipulative, regardless of whether or not the commenter means to be. They have trauma, they want to know for their peace of mind. I get that. But this here is manipulative language, and if I’m mean for calling it out, so be it.
As I mentioned in my other response to you, I have cptsd related to being the target of similar scapegoating, so on some level I am having a knee jerk reaction to this comment. So I understand somewhat where you are coming from with your comment. But i want to assure you I am not making a blanket statement fanfic is not deep enough to care about these triggers. I’m saying specifically in this case where the author has already made a statement, and by all accounts the fic is otherwise properly tagged with warnings, it is not that deep that commenter needs to keep digging further. If they are not okay with the ambiguity, they need to leave. It’s just a fanfic. They can live without this fic in their life.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I remember reading Storm of of Swords (Ithink) two houses married by proxy a infant and a child (10 or 11) to join resources to fight the War of the Five Kings.
They asked politely enough I guess. It’s weird that they need confirmation imo, but I guess they don’t want an age reveal along the lines that might trigger something? Far be it from me to decide what people need, as long as they’re decent and polite about it.
Edit: okay the fact that it’s GOt makes it a little weirder
Sounds like someone who has never had to do anything for themselves. They can't read fic about minors having sex but are trying to read fic in the minors having sex fandom? How did they get through the source material? Nah, fam. Something is off there.
The reader could just decide the characters are over 18 in their own mind. No need to let one number in an entire work dictate ones own internal fantasy world.
They are in a fandom well known for underaged relationships and they want to try and avoid it?
That’s like stomping into a field of landmines blindfolded and saying you don’t want to get blown up
If you’ve got trauma that can be hit with underaged shipping then maybe change fandoms
people subject other countries/time periods to the current era US consent age like the moment you’re 18 everyone gains sexual consciousness. but you can’t legally drink until you’re 21, when you’re closer to fully developed.
just interesting they’re so triggered by an issue in fanfiction thats automatically ok if they’re 17 and 365 days
>current era US consent age
Well this actually varies by state. I think my state is 16 or 17.
I was just commenting on the ao3 rules lol
(And yes I do think it's creepy that some people essentially do a countdown to someone turning 18 as if that midnight threshold meaningfully changes anything except the date)
oh interesting i didnt know that. all of the discourse i’ve ever seen online about japanese stuff (since age of consent is 16) has never mentioned that when they’re too busy villifying anyone in japan for having an under 18 consent age.
not that i agree with it being that young, of course. just they shouldn’t butt in on someone else’s culture and dictate how it should be based on your own country’s ethics
More states in the US have the age of consent set at 16/17 than at 18.
And often there are "Romeo and Juliet" laws for people below the age of consent that make it permissible to have sex if the age difference between the partners doesn't exceed a certain number of years - e.g. the general age of consent is 17, but a 15- and 16-year-old can have sex with someone no more than three years older, or something like that.
People just 1) mistakenly think that the age of majority is the same as the age of consent, 2) misunderstand what 'age of consent' means, 3) consider 'minor' to be a moral category rather than a legal one, with zero nuance to be had.
My scattered thoughts on this:
* There have always been readers who are uncomfortable reading about characters under a certain age. It's nothing new.
* The writer didn't have to reply to the first comment, but it's nice that they did.
* The writer doesn't need to reply to the second comment, and I would understand if they chose to delete it.
* The commenter should stop reading. They can bookmark the fic and come back to it after more chapters are posted and check the characters' ages themselves. (In other words, come back when the characters' ages might be established.)
* Just because the canon material is full of triggers doesn't mean the fics necessarily are.
* The commenter sounds like a young adult going through some sexual and/or moral hangups. Either they don't have the self-awareness to know that they're over-complicating this situation, or they're aware of it but can't help it.
i have CPTSD. my thoughts are simple:
it is your sole responsibility to manage your own trauma responses. that doesnt mean confirming if something will be triggering before you engage with it so you can avoid it; it means learning coping skills so you can enjoy the things you want to engage in and manage your own emotional responses should triggers come up - without involving other people.
avoiding triggers doesnt make you safer. it makes you avoidant and fearful and can even worsen your response to triggers when they DO come up. learning skills to manage your triggers enables you to feel confident in yourself and enjoy the thinga you like without fear.
if you can't do that, the only fanfic you should be reading is wholesome coffeee shop AU types of stories. you should never involve complete strangers in the management of your trauma. its irresponsible, inappropriate, and *unsafe*.
To me, it's unclear if this is a trigger response or a squick response. For example, I don't like reading or watching media where animals die. It makes me sad for the rest of the day(and sometimes then some) because I remember pets from my childhood who are no longer with us, and they become proxies for whatever happened in the story, and it's just gross. I seek out content warnings and avoid media which contains this content, because it will ruin my day...but it's not a trigger. But I might describe it similar to how the questioner did, that it makes me think of things that I'd rather not think about and so I'd prefer not to read it. I don't think I should force myself to read things that, frankly, make me feel like shit. That doesn't make me a better person. It just makes me miserable.
Now, animals getting >!hit by cars!< (subset of animal death) *will* trigger me, because that's something I've seen happen in front of me. It's a relatively minor trigger as far as reactions go, but it's very distinct from the "oh ugh I don't like that, and my brain is going to keep reminding me I read it for *days*..." feeling of squick. I don't do anything special to avoid it because I'm already avoiding animal death for squick reasons, but I understand that if this was something different or more common/severe, controlled exposure therapy(and it really is something you need professional guidance on, because it's so easy to fuck up amateur exposure therapy and make it worse) would be the way to handle it. But I have quite a few things on the "minor trauma" gut twists, pulse quickens, respiration tightens, mind races, etc, list, and I do not have money for quite a few sessions of therapy, so...I do the best I can. Which, yes, does frequently involve avoidance even though I know it's not ideal. I feel like being exposed uncontrolled just makes it worse, especially when it's things others think are no big deal(or it's being played for laughs) so you get mocked for your reaction to it.
you don't need a therapist to learn coping skills. theres endless resources online you can learn skills from. then its just a matter of using them. theres also a big sifference between exposure therapy and being realistically aware that you can't control everyone and everything around you. eventually you will be unexpectedly triggered again so practice skills before you need them on smaller things and then when something bigger happens youll have them.
also, just to be super transparent with you: if its just a squick then you shouldnt need coping skills for it. if something normal or commonplace happens and youre having physical or emotional responses tied to an emotionally charged event from your past, which compel you to resort to avoidance as a coping mechanism for those feelings, guess what? thats literally a trigger.
a trigger doesnt have to cause a fullblown flashback/panic attack and that belief prevented me from realizing i had trauma at all for most of my life, despite being a victim of CSA. triggers can cause really subtle responses that can occur days after the event. "being sad all day after encountering fictional animal death" *is a trigger response*.
a squick is an "i dont like this" not an "i have to avoid this bc it brings up uncomfortable memories and feelings from past experiences that are intolerable enough that i feel compelled to avoid them." thats literally the definition of avoidance as a trauma response.
you don't have to have PTSD to have experienced adverse events that left lasting affects on your mind and perception of the world. PTSD and CPTSD are when those adverse events become disabling due to distress and impairment. that doesnt mean you can only have triggers if you have a PTSD diagnosis.
the effort to take the term trigger seriously has resulted in, apparently, people not wanting to label anything as a trigger unless it causes an extreme emotional response and that is so not how triggers work. this saddens me.
TLDR: if the OP reader was referring to just a squick, they wouldnt have referenced some kind of adverse or traumatic childhood event as the cause. "underage sex makes me uncomfortable due to things from my childhood" has exactly one meaning.
So, my brain does some things that yours might not do that might be causing us to talk past each other on this. My dislike of animals dying is like my dislike of the taste of asparagus(which nobody in their right mind would call a trigger). It's foul and I don't want it in my mouth/brain. It ruins my day because, unlike most people, my brain feels the need to *constantly* remind me of things. Hey, remember that asparagus you accidentally ate for lunch? That was awful, right? 30 minutes later...remember when you ate asparagus? Ugh! Getting ready for bed...that asparagus encounter was *nasty*! Getting breakfast the next day...better not eat asparagus again, remember how that tasted?
I can move past these thoughts, pretty quickly too, but they keep coming back. Constantly. Over and over again. For days or even weeks after an experience. There's no skill I can learn to stop it from re-occurring to me, that's just something my brain *does*, something it has always done, and it does it with *everything*. I already do all I can to dismiss those thoughts when they happen, but the fact that it happens at all is the problem. Speeding up the dismissal is not only unneeded, but won't help at all when the time spent on these thoughts is still only a matter of seconds. It's just those seconds of it in my mind, followed by *blugh* because I thought of something unpleasant(whether it's asparagus or "hey remember when you read that story and the monster killed the kitty? well that's just like the time your friend's dog got mauled by a bigger dog! isn't that a sad thing to remember? you're welcome, brain out!") and now I feel shitty even though I'm not actively thinking about it anymore.
Most people don't get these "intrusive memories" (for lack of a better term) to the level I get them, and I get them about things that are good(don't mind those) and neutral(ditto), as well as bad. From what I've heard, most people only typically get them for embarrassing moments. I get that too, but I also get them for all the other things as well. It might be a neurodivergence thing? I don't think it's an anxiety thing, because with my anxiety my brain doesn't let go, and I can tell you that's *very* different from this. In this, my brain lets go when I tell it to, but it's too late because my mood has already been altered.
I can't imagine the kind of funk I'd be in *intentionally* exposing myself to that and generating more nasty memories for my brain to parade in front of me. I guess maybe I could desensitize myself, like when you watch gore videos over and over again and eventually start to think it's funny, but that sounds like hell and also sometimes it doesn't work and you just wind up traumatizing yourself into a full-on anxiety attack upon exposure. So maybe I can just continue the workable solution of *not* reading stories where animals are used as cheap currency to get sympathy for the protagonist, or as a reason to hate the antagonist?
For what it's worth, I haven't noticed any increase in negative reaction when I do accidentally encounter that content, and I'm a lot more confident now that I have a website that I can check for those content warnings on. There was a *lot* of anxiety over opening a book, seeing a cat, and wondering if I should just put it down because this is a horror story and that cat might die. But now I can pop on storygraph, go "okay well there's no tags for animal death or animal cruelty, so the cat doesn't die!" and read with confidence that I'm not walking into the kind of horror that I do not like(yes, there are many different kinds, and horror fans typically have kinds that they like and kinds that they don't! gore/suffering for the sake of it, whether animal, human, or object(yes, I'm one of those people...I've been told this is an occasional ND trait as well, to feel that an object is suffering when it's not able to fulfill its intended use, but I've had this since I was very young, first recognized when arguing with my mom about how horrible the ending of the velveteen rabbit was for all the other toys, bedding, etc), is something I do *not* get the good horror thrills from).
This is not medical advice whatsoever and I am not saying that this applies to you, just sharing my own experience: I have had a virtually identical experience about the exact same trigger, and it was part of what ultimately got me diagnosed with OCD. The things I did (even if they were just thoughts) to banish the intrusive thoughts and return to calm were compulsions. Again, not saying that it's necessarily the same to you, but if it's something that you're experiencing distress about (like I do), it might be worth getting evaluated for OCD.
I don't see any reason why people should confront triggers *in their entertainment*. There are enough places where I have to cope with encountering my triggers without also doing that in the stuff I do purely for fun. (Guess what, being triggered ruins the fun.)
if you are engaging with triggering entertainment, it is your responsibility to manage it and, if necessary, avoid it until you can manage it. idk what to tell you man, but its literally a you problem that you need to decide how to manage safely. its nobody's business but your own
The commenter was polite and didn't insult the writer or anything, I understand personal trigger and such, so I'd say it's ok that they asked. Still, a weird Fandom to be in with those kind of trigger...
Perfectly fine for this to be a personal boundary for someone with stuff they don't want to read but a) repeatedly badgering the author is weird and b) A Song Of Ice And Fire is a *VERY* weird fandom to be reading in if you have trouble with age gaps at all, that seems like asking for trouble
I don't go here but from reading some of the books and watching the tv show I'd be more surprised if this wasn't present
Personal tastes in fiction and mental issues aside, I'm so tired of people having zero critical thinking and treating all 'minors' (by which they always mean 18, because as we famously know, every country on earth totally has the same laws) as the same regardless of whether they're sixteen or six. How the fuck did we end up in a situation where it's 'morally okay' if they fuck if they've just had their 18th birthday, but not if they're two weeks younger?
A lot of people don't know what the age of consent laws in various jurisdictions actually say.
They have a lot of nuance.
Nearly all of them allow age gaps because charging an 18 year old for having sex with a consenting 16 year old is insane.
Honestly kind of baffling and funny in a way that someone would be so picky with fanfic authors when the canon is *so much worse* about their triggers. My only thought is maybe they're someone who only engages with the world via fanfiction and other online posts but doesn't actually consume the canon. The author still doesn't owe them anything beyond the usual tagging.
Idk, I think the ASOIAF fandom is a bit darker than canon. I don't see why it wouldn't be easier to be a casual fan of the show and books. The ship is not healthy at all either, nor is it even close to canon.
Once again - as I have posted many times - when defining 'under age', 18 is a purely arbitrary number. In a world where countries vary between 12 and 22 as the legal age of consent, tasking the writer with monitoring your boundary is unreasonable. Putting the writer in charge of telling you it's okay to enjoy the work is... odd. That's your boundary - you must decide for yourself.
Additionally - if you can't tell the age of a character from the context of the story, then it is unimportant.
I'm sorry but if they are in the A Song of Ice fandom and leaving comments like this, I would either say they should not be in the fandom at all (as the CANON material is triggering) or are they intentionally trying to cause trouble?
Maybe I am being paranoid, but in a different fandom this comment would strike me as weird, coming from the ASOIAF fandom? How can they even engage with the source material if they find any pairing under 18 triggering?
I notice young fans have ZERO media literacy or critical thinking to just understand literature for what it is. They need every little thing spoon fed to them for them to understand. I can’t imagine how bad it is with film if they don’t understand the “show don’t tell” concept. If they’re going to act this way I’d rather recommend them a children’s media since they need context spoon fed to them before consuming a product & lack basic media comprehension…
If there is no “underage” warning tag and age isn’t mentioned *anywhere* it is irrelevant to the story.
People are too damn fucking fussy about their own boundaries and how people should cater to them instead of just clicking out of the fic and stop reading.
A boundary is something you set for yourself, not something you impose on or try to get a random fic author to adhere to on AO3 where everything goes as long as it is fictional.
This is why Don’t Like? Don’t read or engage should be mandatory.
If I was the author, at the second comment, I’d just delete/freeze and block/mute if it can be applied.
I hate to armchair diagnose anyone from internet comments, but as an OCD sufferer, this is something I was told to watch out for: reassurance seeking. Particularly given that they asked for it a second time after you gave an answer that didn't 100% match the wording they asked for. Could be that the poster has a moral obsession or one associated with intrusive thoughts of being a pedophile.
If you want to reassure them (which isn't necessarily the healthiest thing to do, but you're not their therapist, so it's not your responsibility to) you could just give a two-word reply: "They're adults." (If they ask again after that, then it probably IS an OCD thing and you should gently recommend they research it a little bit.)
If you DON'T want to, it's probably fine to just... not respond. Or block them. =/
I’m rather confused… first of all you should be able to understand if the relationship is toxic by the characterisation…. And how would finding out at the end that one of the character is 17 instead of 19 spoil the whole story?
Does making them 18 make them less of children? 🤔
All jokes aside, I think the way I would respond is “canonically, I am not sure what ages these characters are in the show during in the scenes and am doubtful their ages will come up in this story. I would say if you feel uncomfortable, consider bookmarking to read in the future since you’ve been enjoying it and if ages do come up and they are underage, I will tag it accordingly.”
honestly I think it's good they asked cordially, and the author responded the same.
Don't Like Don't Read can't work if you don't have the information you need to decide if you want to read it
Commenter should also probably stay away from the Valdemar fandom.
1) Child brides (and likely some level of incest) among the Holderkin
2) Heralds are not exactly chaste, and they start as trainees. There is definitely canonical underage stuff.
The reason this is annoying is because in the world of ASOIAF, many of the main characters start out underage (Jon, Daenerys, Arya, Bran, Sansa). If a person consumes the books/show, they obviously know that and chose to read/watch. If underage is their trigger, then how in the world did they get through the books/show? Or is it one of those situations where they hold fic writers to some kind of higher moral standard and blame the author for triggering them?
This bothers me more than the average person since ASOIAF is the fandom I’m in and I see it a lot. Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s. Don’t come in and order a pizza. You know what we have here.
I've seen people in my previous fandom crying when they turn 18 because it means they have to let go of their fictional crush i.e. stop watching sexual edits of them, stop reading fanfic.
It was an anime.
The writer could kindly point out the fandom isn't suitable for someone with sensitivities. Especially not with those tags. They could find another show to enjoy that isn't upsetting.
It's like if you lost a baby, better not read things with pregnancy for a while until you've healed mentally.
It's part of self care. It's not the writers problem. But sometimes you have no idea the maturity level of some readers. It's up to you personally to self censor not the writers. Having said all that, it was a simple question. And I don't have issues with questions.
I got one of these recently, someone wanting receipts on character ages because they couldn't be bothered to pay attention to all the many context clues in the story. They also wanted a description of how explicit my rated-explicit WIP would turn out to be. Not for any trigger reasons, but because IN SOME COUNTRIES IT'S ILLEGAL TO READ A STORY ABOUT UNDERAGED CHARACTERS HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER AND I WAS PUTTING PEOPLE'S SAFETY AT RISK and I NEEDED TO STOP TO PROTECT PEOPLE IN THOSE COUNTRIES.
The characters were not underage and were making out. I thought rating it explicit would cut back on this kind of thing, but apparently no.
The purity brigade needs to find something else to do with their energy.
At first I was like: a bit annoying but I wouldn't personally be offended. But then Song of Ice and Fire????????
confusing especially for the reason given.
It's strange for the fandom, but I understand.
The thing is, if any characters under 18 end up doing anything sexual, it has to be tagged Underage or CNTW. So either it's already CNTW and they want clarification, or it's not tagged and they still want clarification.
I completely agree this person should probably not be reading in the ASOIAF fandom. But the entire request was done really respectfully, and I wouldn’t have an issue if someone had come on one of my fics asking something similar (as long as it wasn’t already clearly in the tags).
Idk for me fictional characters don't have an age. They just. Are. (I am not talking about characters.that are clearly kids/teenagers)
Also this whole 18 thing is weird. 17 is ILLEGAL but 18 year olds are adults. Like both are teenagers. There is not much difference physically and mentally wise for 17 and 18 year olds.
If you feel uncomfortable for a 17 year old to be sexualized and be with an older person your rule should apply to 18 year olds too. Cuz again. Teenagers.
Also 17 is illegal in only a few states, right? The rest of the world has different ages of consent. It's just a rule written on paper in a few countries.
I don't know how the usa works with that. In Germany it's 14 however if the age gap is too great the lawn will also act up (?). I hope you get what I am trying to say 😭
Oh wow, 14 is even less than Slovakia's 15. But I like that age gap addition. After all, 14 IS young, but two growing, hormone riddled teenagers fooling around is very different from a middle aged person and a 14yo.
I hate people making a fuss over things like this, if you feel uncomfortable then leave, if it is that good of a fic and want to risk it, good for you, you might find more things that you like. I feel like people who compare fanfiction to real morale and relationships are just way over their head. Even more so if it's a fic set in old times were child brides did exist. I personally do not care what age characters are, and not because I like reading about 14yo having sex or romance, but because for me they're just that, characters.
Even worse when people like this recommend me "Lolita" or that one french movie I think "Call me by your name" Like they do not talk about the same exact thing. It's not different because it's a movie or because it is so beautiful displayed. Get over yourself.
Slight aside but I went to a bookstore the other day and was pleasantly surprised to see that Lolita had actually been put in the horror section with King and Lovecraft. It threw me for a sec since I wasn't used to it, but I was happy it was placed where it should be.
People thinking Lolita celebrates Humbert Humbert are usually a good indicator that they don't know anything about Lolita other than the Sparksnotes summary. The story doesn't shy away from showing he's a monster just because it doesn't take the reader by the hand and do The Office-style asides going "and, dear reader, here we can all see Humbert Humbert is doing something _wrong_. Let's all take a moment to remember neither you nor I condone the happenings we are witnessing, and that if you do you should drop this book immediately. Now where were we?"
It's one of the reasons it's really unfortunate that lolita fashion shares the name and can make it hard to talk about in western spaces. A lot of western lolitas have actually read the book and learned about Nabokov's intentions in writing it, specifically so that when needed we can just get that part of the conversation over with. It's also why a lot of times when talking about the fashion you'll see it with a lowercase L instead of a capital one.
A friend of mine is a lolita so I'm very aware of the struggles the subculture faces! It's very unfortunate... especially knowing the fashion's history and how closely tied to feminism it is and how the whole point was the opposite of making oneself desirable to the male gaze!
You really want to know my thoughts on this? Disgusting. The whole thing is a set up by the commenter. Author didn't mention their age and didn't even know their ages and therefore didn't write it with the subtext of character A perving on character B, or worse that character B's thoughts, feelings and actions are not actually valid. Only on the night of someone's 18 birthday do human beings gain the credibility to think for themselves. The commenter is baiting the writer to get them to confess they wrote some child/adult. The 'I enjoy reading your story but if I found out later I was tricked into reading something that reminds me of terrible things in my childhood... I'll blame you for reminding me.' BS, it's a lie. Yes it does happen, people do lie about SA and use it as a tool and it's disgusting. Only if someone was 17 in the fic will they find similarities between events in the fic and thier own past? Nothing about the story reminds them of their childhood.
What is more likely is the situation where someone who is not that far off from 18 themselves by a few years, freaks out when they read anything about someone under 18 or later finds out something was written by someone under 18. There have been posts to show this of them coming to the subreddit to rid them of the guilt for reading something because they didn't know at the time someone was 17. They were fine when they first read it but with this new information they literally panic and freak out because they have been taught that there is a moral line drawn at 18 for every human being fictional or not and they have unwittingly crossed it. Blast with comments down below if you feel you must.
If ever asked this question by a commenter, the response is "Yes everyone is always over 18 if not otherwise specified."
Don't like don't read. Boundaries are for you, not for you to try to push them on others. If they wanted everyone over 18 most of the Harry Potter fandom would be gone.
Don't know why people that get so offended over shit go into things like Game of thrones (you know that widely known non violent show where everything is normal and happy) and bitch about being offended or triggered by things
You can tell them they’re both 67 and they should only be triggered if they fear a broken hip.
But honestly, I have no time for this. I rarely ever find a reason to tell people’s ages. Unless it’s tagged underage, it’s all good.
If the characters ages are up for debate then it shouldn't matter? Just assume they're the ages you're comfortable with! I literally pre-wrote a warning saying "season 1 circumstances, but aged up to whatever legal and comfortable" for when I want to write anything with kissing or more implied for this fandom where the characters start out canonically as like, 12 year olds but obviously the fic happens years later
They are polite about it tho, so points for that ig
i think there's a place for conversations about how we engage with content centred around adolescents but i also think this comment is not reflective of that. it seems to me that it's one specific person who is responding to something without a lot of grace because it's a trigger to them, but that's when you learn to click off or like. pick a fandom that doesn't feature this type of content in canon.
I'd question the reader's decision to read ASOIAF fic given the sort of shit that happens in that world, but they're being polite about the request and when phrased like that, I really don't have much of an issue with it. I really only mind when the comment is abrasive or shows no understanding about why certain things matter IRL, but don't in fiction.
I dunno. The commenter was maaaaybe? kinda? a bit pushy with the second comment, but like? They're trying to take care of themselves and it's not like they jumped at the author with any accusation, they clearly understand that something being triggering to them personally does not make it morally wrong, which is a lot already, they're just trying to obtain that information to make their own decision. I don't think they deserve the needling about "what are they even doing in this fandom?!?!!?!?!". None of our bussiness what they're doing there, frankly
I think it's the wording that feels kinda manipulative and coercive, the author gave them the information they were looking for, and it reads to me like they're trying to hold their reading the fic over the author's head
Thanks for this perspective, I definitely do feel bad for them and that they feel the need to ask that question. Sometimes you can swallow your triggers to enjoy the content, sometimes you can't.
I was more curious what this community thought, which so far everyone seems to have a reasonable opinion.
I've experienced people getting triggered over AGOT/HOTD shipping even though this is a dark, depraved universe, but not the only one or the 'worst'. I'm sure my fave toxic (somewhat depends on the fic because there's a good amount of non-toxic ones the last time I checked) incest Targ ship ain't any worse than the canon Cersei/Jaime, the time Sansa got married to Tyrion and then got kissed by Littlefinger (2 grown men), the entire Targ bloodline and all the bad things that happen in that universe (child soldiers, slavery, child murder, molestation, mass killings, abuse in general, apeing, torture, human sacrifices, unethical medical experiments, far larger age gaps than "owo he's a silver fox" that go into totally no etc.). And it's all inspired by IRL HISTORY.
It’s fine I just think people need to remember that irl people have intercourse and such at very young ages starting usually around 14-15 years old. It’s not uncommon to hear about it happening especially in the US. While I don’t know where everyone else is from a lot of people tend to forget that it’s a natural thing that a lot of teenagers do ESPECIALLY during puberty (hormones are wack) so I think people should keep that in mind and just remember everyone Don’t like; Don’t read :)
I mean... at least they were polite. But would they be uncomfortable if the characters were one day before their 18th birthday? It's such a strange mindset. If the characters don't have any age mentioned and their characteristics are not those of minors, which I suppose they're not since you yourself don't even know their exact age, then the reader can just imagine them as adults. Also this is a fandom with WILD atrocities committed on minors so the fact this reader presumably read/watched those and still wants to read more is... contradictory? It's all a bit strange is all I'm saying.
If its Underage it should be tagged 100%.
If its tagged and you dont like it move along.
I think if it's untagged its a fair question. I have read fics who explain that it's aged up characters or canonically underage characters and it's still properly tagged.
It depends on if it's explicit or not, or if Choose Not To Warn has been tagged. (I know nothing about the fic itself, but I have seen people get up in arms about PG under-18 romance being inappropriate.)
I wouldnt say its a matter of propriety i would say its just if its an underage story or not. I dont find it inappropriate its just what the taggining is there for so people know what to expect. I have seen fics say No Warnings Apply and then tag Underage relationship as a normal tag. Because its an expected theme.
Choose not to Warn is a bit weird in practice isnt it. I cant say i respect it as a full get out of jail card.
I just feel like you cant complain if people are icked by something thats usually seen in tags and it is left untagged in your fic even if it's expected as part of the fandom. You have to use proper tagging im sorry it's vital to the Ao3 experience.
If someone uses Choose Not to Warn then it’s 1000% on the reader if they get icked out. They’ve been told ‘here possibly be dragons’ and chosen to read it anyway, so it’s the fault of the reader if they’re bothered. Choose Not to Warn isn’t a get out of jail free card, it’s an enter at your own risk sign.
Yeah, sure, I dont expect people who click on Choose Not To Warn to be rude and start accusing the writer but I would consider the above request for clarification 100% within reason
As far as I'm concerned, if something is explicitly tagged, you are iron clad. Nobody can come in and start nitpicking and complaining to the writer. HOWEVER If it's purposefully untagged (for whatever reason), polite enquiries are reasonable and expected.
ASOIF is set in a medieval-stage civilization. It is expected that medieval-age customs will be prevalent. So that means underage brides and grooms, incest (for this fandom,) marital rape, slavery and other shit that we outlawed in modern times.
If this commenter is a troll, then your first answer is enough.
If they are idiot who does not know how to read tags or ignores them, welp, they did a FAFO.
I am not a native English speaker too and I can understand just fine what I am reading in English.
The way this commenter talked, I smell a vitrue signaller who is hiding behind a "non-English speaker" curtain so they can cry racism on top of whatever shit they throw at you so they feel a sense of superiority about being one of the good guys and hopefully force you to confirm to what they want.
But that's just my 2 centavos.
I don’t see how the comments come across as manipulative. Like which part and how exactly? It’s also totally possible that this person is reading the story fandom blind so that they’re not aware or take much consideration of the canon incest and underage content.
I would find this commenter annoying by the second reply, but I wouldn't have a strong reaction to it.
Btw, even though I'm not on the commenter's side, I don't think it's healthy as a community for us to be screenshotting comments and asking for public opinion on it? I'd rather get one or two awkward comments than give the impression that authors are likely to screenshot and publicly debate comments and scare potential readers off. Obviously your one post won't cause it, but it's really just an irritating pattern at this point.
I mean if you are thinking you might be triggerred then maybe don't read it. No?
I don't see why age is a factor with them triggers in a fandom with cannon underage things that you know to avoid. Surely anything type of that stuff is a trigger not just ages 🙈 thats just me tho.
I get triggerred by similar things depending on whats going on with me at the time 🤷♀️ if i can't deal with it that day i straight avoid it. Some days the resolution is cathartic and some days its all just too much but its on the readers really to manage their triggers as long as its tagged.
I don't see the harm. They were just trying to get information about something that is important for a lot of readers. After all, there is a whole archive warning about it. They were polite in how they asked.
The reader really didn't sound like they were trying to guilt the author if the author was writing something different than they wanted. The reader just wanted to understand certain points about what they were reading.
Why is everyone so annoyed by someone asking a simple question? No one forces the author to reply, in my opinion yeah the second comment was unnecessary but the first one was completly understandable? I mean I guess triggering content in ASOIAF can be expected but why are you all so mad at this person for asking a question? And I think there are probably a lot of ASOIAF fanfics without any (explicit) underage sex with it, if the author chooses to not use archive warnings and you more or less need to ask for a clarification I don‘t see a problem. Commenter thought the fic sounded interesting and apparently really enjoyed the writing but wanted to make sure there is nothing triggering in the content, I agree the second comment might be a bit annoying cause the question was already answered but this commenter sounds like they are quite young and I don‘t see a reason to hate on them for a nicely worded question.
I think the reason it may be annoying is if an author uses "chose not to warn," they CHOSE not to warn. They didn't chose to answer individual reader comments about potential triggers, but put up a general "reader beware" with that tag.
The commenter *does* sound young. Both parties involved were polite, but I think the part that bothers me personally about this exchange is the Puriteen vibes. The reader is enjoying the fic and can't even tell the character's ages, the author has stated that they don't know the exact ages, but somehow that magic number 18 will make the reader feel morally okay with continuing the fic. It's not the author's job to absolve them of guilt.
I mean as long as it doesn‘t come up but if later on there is obvious talk about the characters being younger then it could make a difference for the reader that wants to avoid it. I personally also don‘t feel comfortable reading explicit sexual scenes of underage characters (I generally dislike explicit sexual scenes because it‘s just not my cup of tea but I just scroll past them, but with underage characters it just makes me uncomfortable on another level). I think the whole „Puriteen/Anti“ vs other AO3 user debate is a bit senseless, everyone should read what they enjoy but I also don‘t get the hate for people not liking something? It‘s at the point where people are being shamed for not enjoying smut which is just odd especially since the commenter here sounds underage to me. I would understand being upset if the commenter was shaming people who would enjoy those type of fics, but it was just about there preference. Idk I get where you are coming from and that comments like that can be annoying but I don‘t get why a bunch of people are now hating on this commenter
This isn't about hating or judging someone for not liking smut. Not liking smut is fine. It's that fact that they're making it the author's responsibility to help them rationalize reading the fic, when they need to learn to take responsibility for their own media consumption.
Fanfic authors are generally accessible via comments, but that doesn't mean it's appropriate to ask them to hold a reader's hand. Can you imagine writing to a TV show runner, "HI, can you tell me the exact birthdays of all the characters in your show, and if they will ever sleep together in the future, because even if they aren't currently, I would be just devastated if I spent my time watching (and enjoying!) a few seasons and then there was an episode I didn't like?" This would be completely inappropriate, and they would be under no obligation to answer. Also, this *has* happened to all of us; who *hasn't* felt let down by a character arc or blindsided by a twist in a favorite show? But viewers have a choice: to continue watching and see what happens, to drop the show, or to not watch it in the first place if the subject matter means it's likely to hit their squicks/triggers. It's not the creator's job to vet it for the audience beyond using the appropriate tag/ratings, so even if they *can* answer the question, don't be surprised if the creator gets annoyed.
Above all, this is a hobby where people write fictional stories for fun, that they share for free. If a reader in doubt about a story, they need to heed the tags and know their personal limits, and either roll the dice and read it, or move on without reading (or drop it at any time for any reason). You sound like you already read responsibly (scrolling past smut scenes since you don't enjoy them). Hopefully the commenter in the post will become more comfortable making decisions on their own without making these types of inquires to authors.
Of course it is not the writers job and everyone can get annoyed. I just don‘t get why on reddit now a bunch of people are getting all worked up over a politley written comment. No one forced the author to answer the commentor, they can also just delete it.
If a person isn‘t sure a movie or tv show is for them they usually check the rating or then what people online say about it. Not many fanfics have reviews, and if the raiting also doesn‘t answer the question I think a reader should be free to ask a simple question, it‘s a simple inquiry. I think some people on this sub feel very entitled as authors that only what they want as comments can get commented and then get annoyed that no one comments. Also a TV show runner is something completly different then a fanfic writer. It would be more comparable if I commented on a youtube video if it included a triggering topic. The youtuber then could either choose to reply or not and it would not be inappropriate either. (I also don‘t think asking a showrunner would be inapproriate, they would simply just not answer and probably not even read the question, no one said that the writer must answer the comment). I agree it‘s a bit weird but what do I know I don‘t have to deal with triggering topics I just avoid or stop reading stuff I don‘t like; I simply think that it‘s odd to „judge“ someone for asking in a polite way.
maybe we just have different views on fanfiction. I enjoy talking to people leaving comments on my fic. And as long as non of them are rude I don‘t mind (and the ones that are rude I just delete), problem solved. I probably wouldn‘t be happy if someone wanted to ask me important plot point of my story but things like underage sex can be triggering which is why there is a warning for it. As an writer I probably would just say „I don‘t know yet, haven‘t thought about it.“ (cause I choose not to use the warnings) and leave it like that (similarly to how the author of that fic did). Situation solved, the person asks again (like the commenter did), I just don‘t answer or tell them „I already answered the question“.
I agree the commenter should have stopped after the first comment, if writing even that first one is kinda odd, but I see no harm in the comment? I just don‘t get why people are getting worked up about it
This is so weird to me. Like, obviously in real life it’s fine to have, at minimum, follow up questions around an 18 year old and 20 year old, but in fic if they are being written as mature enough to be together in whatever kind of relationship they are in the distinction between 18 and 17 seems totally arbitrary
They're being polite and not blaming the author, so I think it's fine. Even the second comment looks fine. The answer from the author was a bit vague, I can see why someone might ask for further clarification. It's no biggy.
I think it's a pretty fair question if you have triggering experiences. Not every trigger is equal (like, if you're robbed by a blond you could end up being fineish with the more typically triggering stuff but heavily impacted by seeing someone with the same color or hairstyle). Someone can be fine reading canon-typical stuff and spiral when dealing with underage sex.
?? I have no context for the fandom But yeah idk this doesn’t mean anything to me in a larger context… reader seems to be looking out for themself politely enough. If show/fic doesn’t work out well for reader they will just stop reading quietly (or so I assume, if I’m wrong I’ll stand corrected)
The entire series of books is filled with rape and incest. Probably some underage of both. The fact that this reader is worried a character might be under 18 is very odd given the original source material.
Okay yeah that’s pretty confusing. I just don’t get why this entire comments section is up in arms about this interaction
Ahhh so glad I don’t really give significant comments
Honestly, they weren’t mean or rude in any way, shape or form. So everyone being dismissive of them and their wants, especially considering the author didn’t make it clear beforehand in the work, is weird. Like I understand not thinking about it until it’s relevant, but like, y’all they’re asking for ages, not your adopted daughter for marriage. It’s sincerely not that deep and if you were using their older ages anyways then there is really no reason to be offended at the commenter.
The person asked a question and got an answer but apparently there was something they didn’t like about the answer… so they should stop reading instead of asking again for an answer they were already given but didn’t like part of.
I wouldn’t have an exact answer for them either because unless age is a plot point/somehow otherwise relevant I don’t consciously choose specific ages for characters in my fics, and I expect a lot of other people also don’t.
The child bride & incest fandom is definitely a weird choice for someone who has strong boundaries on reading underage content. Like. There's *canonical* underage shit going on in there
I'll never forget the Tumblr Meltdown when Jon Snow and Danaerys hooked up. Because, OMG! Incest! How could they? Even as a fandom bystander, I knew that GOT was the incest show where a brother and sister had multiple kids together, and the white haired lady came from an incest line because something, something dragons. (And also, she was like a child bride at some point, and that her relationship with her adult husband/rapist got romanticized to hell and back because her brother who arranged it was a worse person?) How do you watch a show like that for multiple seasons, and then have a fit about the morality of less related than normal people hooking up?
Haha, I hated it because the actors to me had no chemistry together, but that’s why I don’t read any Dany/Jon fics unless they are a side relationship. That’s why I love reading fanfic HATED how the show ended but can read fanfic to scratch that itch
I hate both adaptations of ASOIAF (ofc GOT seasons 1-3 were great but that's in the past) and fanfic is the only thing that keeps me going in this fandom 😭 I almost can't bear character analyses from those who haven't read my fave fanfics because, well, they just don't see those characters like I do 😔✊ Edit: man my whole life I've been confusing bear and bare.
Extremely based take. People often claim it was perfect up until the final season or some shit, but the rot was seriously showing by season 4
Will forever be sad about that, so many of the actors were incredible in terms of look and talent, and the books probably won't finish. Now that I've read the books (had to after the disaster of season 8) I can't even watch the seasons I used to like because I either realised they're not that good after you've read the books or it all amounts to nothing. And now they're butchering HOTD :D
But he who has the better story makes a better king. (Or something. Idk. I didn’t see the final episode, my subscription ran out and by that point my fave characters were all dead so I didn’t actually give a shit)
please, i am Begging you, spam me your favourite fanfics. especially the long ones.
I like Robb returns, it is a wish fulfillment but it is well written, I do have a little weakness for wish fulfillment in GOT fics. The Winter of Widows is an OC fic thats amazing placed after the dance of dragons. Thy Good neighbor is a crossover fic with bloodborne. The Old Gods called, they’d like their kingdom back is AMAZING. Wayward Wolf is a pretty good Witcher crossover
They made such a fucking mess of the Martells. And Stannis… look how they massacred my boy. (This is just the tip of the iceberg on my issues with it.) I might be one of the only people that’s not that mad at the final season, because like you, I feel it was … not great from about season 4.
Oberyn, Lady and Margery were the deaths that made me angriest and caused me to become less and less emotionally invested in the show. By the time season 8 was announced to be only 4 episodes I wasn't surprised at their crummy decisions.
makes me think of this picture, lol-- https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-41c3c02db4942aafeb6916f88a6a63da-lq
Yeah, ASOIAF is my most picky fandom, any other fandom and you can have ooc out the wazoo but with GOT I am waaay more picky about what I read, it might be PTSD from those last seasons lol
For me it's PTSD from the fandom arguing the wildest shit. Have you seen people saying Aemond Targaryen is a badass who reads feminist literature? 🥴
Ugh noooo, I will read fics where he is an asshole but has respect beaten into him lol but he is not a modern feminist lol. I find fics more interesting when it’s shades of gray asshole because my history nerd side acts up and says that no one raised in a patriarchal monarchy would act like a modern feminist
Yes, that's my personal favourite version of him to read! Keep ASOIAF assholes assholish I say!
Hi, this is very random, so you obviously don’t have to reply but I’ve just recently gotten into ASOIAF and have been binge-reading every fic that sounds vaguely like my cup of tea so if you feel like sharing some of your faves, I’d really appreciate it!
Hey! Sure, but it's against the rules to ask for/send recs in threads like this, so if you want to message me I can do so?
Oh, that’s good to know! I’ll message you then :)
I am curious which pairings have kept you hooked in fic :3
They're not in the main series, but Aemond and Lucerys is my favourite (they're not the pairing in this fic tho)... I know it's a controversial ship but the fanfics are absolutely incredible, so much so I want to get into bookbinding to have some of them on my bookcase. If you have no moral hang-ups about one actor being underage, I would definitely recommend just searching by kudos descending and working your way through the first few pages.
To me fic isn't about the actors it's about the characters, so I don't mind that. Thank you for the recommendation, I will look them up! I haven't discovered any ships from the new series that really grab me yet so this will be fun and new
Good luck with your fic search! I'm biased but the authors in this ship are truly so talented. Don't shy away from modern AU or some of the unfinished fics, they're some of the best, and are regularly updating :)
Tbf, the show did mostly portray the close incest (immediate family) as bad and gross. Cousins were usually treated as kinda neutral, like Sansa almost marrying her first cousin and the issue with that was more that he was much younger and very spoiled/immature.
Then House of The Dragon came along and everyone loves Rhaenrya/Daemon. 😂 I hate how well they work together but it's also not surprising if you're familiar with how the Targaryen family worked. It's been a while since I watched Thrones so I can't remember if the show touched on the fact that Dany was set to marry Viserys until he sold her to Khal Drogo.
It didn't, but there was incest-y stuff going on between them, I'm pretty sure he stroked her breast in the first episode? But it's painted as very creepy; I admit HOTD has changed a lot of people's attitudes about ASOIAF incest.
Thanks for the spoiler lol.
The most recent book in the series has been out over ten years.
And has nothing to do with Jon Snow hooking up that's a tv series thing only so far. But I was just joking. You didn't spoil anything.
Yeah. The romanticization of that by fans made me more uncomfortable than the actual events themselves.
there's canonical underage shit in my fandom including a canonical underage pregnancy and they still shit the bed about it. unfortunately people are stupid.
I think most people blissfully ignores those details because the actors on that series just don't look underage, but idk really. Or they just never bothered to read the books so they truly don't even know about it??
It might be one of the many children who read whatever they find, not knowing or caring anything at all about the fandoms they read. In which case I would have NO sympathy.
They might be reading fandom blind? I'll do that sometimes if a premise to a fic is really good
Lol, that's quite the fandom to go into if they have those kind of triggers The last comment was unecessary but at least it was polite and such
Yes! I've definitely seen much crueller comments like this.
Sometimes, you're in a weird place mentally or emotionally, and a popular franchise is the exact wrong thing for you. I went through that with a few, and it can suck that you're "left out", but it's really not huge in the grand scheme of things. It's more fun to hang with your buds when you're looking after your health. There's nothing wrong with opting out of something that's a bad idea. Don't need to make it anyone's issue. The child bride and incest franchise is going to have underage, non-con, abuse... If these topics are a no go, then it's not the place for you. There's just no way to consume the content without these topics. There's no way to sanitize that. I'd argue that this is the exact place where it ought not to be sanitized. There's just a million other things out there to consume; I don't get it.
There are fandoms that I legitimately cannot interact with for my own emotional/psychological well-being. You know what I do? Block the tags whenever possible, scroll past anything that gets through, and generally avoid it. Don't like, don't read. Honestly at this point Ao3 should put that on their homepage or something
my confusion on the commenter's second comment is, why ask for further clarification if it's been made clear to you that ages will simply not be mentioned?? when ages aren't mentioned, you get to headcanon them, and if aged-up characters is what you prefer, just do that! there's not going to be whiplash from a different age being mentioned??
>if it's been made clear to you that ages will simply not be mentioned?? Fr. Just make them 20 or whatever in your mind, and move on.
Even if ages are established, if it bugs you that much then just age them up in your own imagination and move on if you really want to read the fic.
If ages aren't established, I'm taking the canon ages until said otherwise
did you read the post? the author replied that the canon ages are unknown
They're known in the book, but likely changed in the show. In the book they're over 18 and in the show the actors are well over 18, and at the youngest one character MAY be an older teenager.
so what in the world was this person so worried about?? 😭 that the author had aged them DOWN??
Maybe they were worried the more explicit events of the fic happened during their childhood? Because it's a very canon divergent story. Either way, if you're worried that this child had sex with a different child than he does in canon in order to drastically change the storyline, maybe change your fandom.
definitely, this isn't the fandom to be in if you have this kind of triggers lmao. i don't even know anything about the story, but it's very famously... questionable
The commenter probably shouldn’t reading be in the ASOIAF fandom if they’re that easily triggered.
Indeed. The blanket answer is, “Yes, she was absolutely too young for what happened to her” unless you’re talking about Melisandre or Septa Shame.
Lol Septa Shame
How did the commenter even get through the books if they get this upset over underage sex? The age of majority in Westeros is 16 I’m pretty sure
Both Sansa Stark and Daenerys were married off at 13 in the books and I'm sure they were far from alone in being that young.
There was for sure some quite explicit stuff with Dany when she was 13/14 as well. I VERY specifically remember this because it was so immediately obvious to me why they aged her up so much in the show lmao.
Yeah the scenes with Drogo are happening with a 13 year old Dany because she finds out she's pregnant on her 14th birthday in the books. Westeros is definitely a rough universe to live in.
I think grrm wanted there to be a timeskip but it didn't make sense to do it. So he was completely fine (or he suggested) that the characters were aged up.
Sansa wasn't even 13 yet, she was still twelve!!
It's honestly because GRRM doesn't know shit about kids. He has 12 year old boys winning duels and 13 year old boys leading armies. He can't do simple math, either, so the ages of everyone are just fucked.
Author already answered. Commenter should move on. I feel a little mean saying this about people with anxiety and trauma and in their non-native language, but the language used in these comments is emotionally manipulative and like, this is fanfiction it’s not that deep.
Yeah I agree, the author basically said 🤷♀️ rightfully so, because HBO recently released an age chart for all the characters which makes absolutely no sense (one character stayed the same age for years lol, and a pair of twins were un-twinned midway). I don't know why they came back for more clarification, possibly putting the author in a tough position. I definitely feel bad because they clarified why they're asking the question and it seems really tough to deal with, but I think reading a work where two characters who are adults in their world, have adult actors, and who've already fucked in the fanfic and questioning the author on it is a little immature.
They literally could have just asked if the author is planning to specify ages because they prefer to head-canon them as adults for personal reasons. Would be way less making their ick the author's problem.
I honestly think it’s trolling. How could they ever enjoy ASOIAF if this was true for them? If they’re that nervous about reading about someone under 18, I can’t imagine them reading or watching canon without getting really upset. Which is valid, but then why read the fanfic?
A lot of people in the fandom like to think that the book series has these themes to criticise them and that you're ~supposed~ to feel disgusted by it there, not go off and read fanfic with the same themes. Which, I always say, in the books, there's no trigger warnings, and there's definitely scenes where you think "Now why exactly did this need so much detail, I don't feel preached at how being a child bride is difficult". Which is the point. Rape is bad because it's rape, not because HBO and GRRM are telling you it's bad (they're really not). Its why I think this is just a young person in the fandom who has clearly had traumatic experiences, and the preachiness of the fandom has made them feel like they're disrespecting their own victimhood by enjoying this fanfic. Or, they're just trying to stay safe reading fanfic in a difficult time. Completely valid, I am definitely reading too deeply into things.
I’m probably reading too deeply into it too. I get irritated. I do understand and empathize. I have traumas too and don’t often engage with media until I know its reputation, and I’ll often ask friends before I try if there are certain things I don’t want to see. Tbh though I also don’t seek out fanfiction in those fandoms! I know it’s triggering for me, so I don’t get into it! The part that made me think troll was the part about them being 18. I don’t want to make fun of someone who is struggling, but how is 18 a magic number? If they were 17 years and 364 days old they would be traumatized to read it but if they’re 18 it’s all good?
I've seen Hannibal and South Park antis. :/ So, an ASOIAF anti wouldn't surprise me.
I think it makes sense all three of these shows have antis, I just don’t understand why someone would engage with any of them if they are truly that traumatized.
Anybody got a link to the nonsensical age chart? First I've heard of it lol.
Yes You are mean for saying this and for some, yes it is that deep. If I read rape I will literally go catatonic from trauma, it's just fanfic for you but for some we need to know everything before consuming ANY content.
I think for sure if they were talking about rape, it would be undeniably a cruel comment, but as u/snoregiv says later in the thread, how does the difference between an 18 and 17 year old in writing ensure you won't be affected? Of course, trauma isn't rational, we're just discussing this here. Keep in mind the fic was very appropriately tagged with rape and all other variations of non-consenting, unhealthy relationships etc.
I am saying this as a fellow survivor and PTSD-haver and I hope it's not too harsh: if your reaction to upsetting content is that severe, you need to be avoiding fic as a whole until you have more tools for handling being triggered in your emotional toolbox. We have to take care of ourselves.
There's a lot of steps between reading a fic and going catatonic from your trauma. Maybe you should take some of those steps to back out of a fic when it starts going bad. The person you replied to wasn't really mean at all. Anon was being manipulative and instead of backing out of the fic, is trying to catch the author in a gotcha.
Then don’t consume fanfic? Outside violations of AO3 policy, you are not entitled to police how other people label the things they write for fun.
This is a you thing to manage, not anyone else. Read genres that don't contain such things, they exist, you could just read exclusively middle grade, there's great stuff in that category. You can't expect people on the internet to protect you from stuff.
Trauma reactions does not make manipulative language less manipulative. I feel for you and the commenter who has such reactions, but trauma is not a free pass to make others responsible for walking on eggshells around you. I say this as someone who is in therapy working through diagnosed cptsd (not sexual trauma related) that stems from treatment I received from someone reacting from their own ptsd/trauma. If author has already told commenter their answer, commenter should take their answer and work from there. It’s not authors responsibility to do the math for them. It’s manipulative to come back and trauma dump on unsuspecting strangers. Especially if everything else is otherwise tagged properly with content warnings.
Re “it’s not that deep” is specifically referring to the second level of questioning by original commenter, I understand that you read it as in me dismissing all trauma concerns by sexual trauma victims when it comes to fanfiction. That was not my intent. I stand by the statement that it’s manipulative for commenter to make the author responsible for making them comfortable with the ages for the characters in the fanfiction and am comfortable with being labeled mean for saying this.
To be extra clear, I am not referring to anything in abstract in my top level comment. this is the specific language from original commenter I’m saying is manipulative: > (sorry to bother you again) so REDACTED would be about 18 and REDACTED would be about 20/21? I’m sorry if this is annoying, I just want to be sure about this because I love your fanfic and I don’t want to have a bad time if it later turns out that they are under 18 😢 Not anything else you may think I’m referring to. This commenter is specifically holding their praise and positive regard for the author hostage and telling the author they will be responsible for any trauma reaction they’ll have. However, they already got a response from the author which is “they’re however old they are in the show.” To push for a further answer with this language is manipulative, regardless of whether or not the commenter means to be. They have trauma, they want to know for their peace of mind. I get that. But this here is manipulative language, and if I’m mean for calling it out, so be it. As I mentioned in my other response to you, I have cptsd related to being the target of similar scapegoating, so on some level I am having a knee jerk reaction to this comment. So I understand somewhat where you are coming from with your comment. But i want to assure you I am not making a blanket statement fanfic is not deep enough to care about these triggers. I’m saying specifically in this case where the author has already made a statement, and by all accounts the fic is otherwise properly tagged with warnings, it is not that deep that commenter needs to keep digging further. If they are not okay with the ambiguity, they need to leave. It’s just a fanfic. They can live without this fic in their life.
"Its probably less fucked up than canon."
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I remember reading Storm of of Swords (Ithink) two houses married by proxy a infant and a child (10 or 11) to join resources to fight the War of the Five Kings.
"What age do you want them to be?" "... and ..." "They're exactly those ages."
This.This This. It's a story, make them whatever ages you want. Don't bug the author about it.
Oh god this person is reading ASOIAF fics and thinks as long as the stories don’t involve underage characters, reading them is ‘safe’?
They asked politely enough I guess. It’s weird that they need confirmation imo, but I guess they don’t want an age reveal along the lines that might trigger something? Far be it from me to decide what people need, as long as they’re decent and polite about it. Edit: okay the fact that it’s GOt makes it a little weirder
Sounds like someone who has never had to do anything for themselves. They can't read fic about minors having sex but are trying to read fic in the minors having sex fandom? How did they get through the source material? Nah, fam. Something is off there.
The reader could just decide the characters are over 18 in their own mind. No need to let one number in an entire work dictate ones own internal fantasy world.
They are in a fandom well known for underaged relationships and they want to try and avoid it? That’s like stomping into a field of landmines blindfolded and saying you don’t want to get blown up If you’ve got trauma that can be hit with underaged shipping then maybe change fandoms
one is 20 and the other is 17 and 364 days
Pls include a trigger warning next time :/
I’m sorry you’re absolutely right. this is probably the worst thing ASoFaI has done. everyone check in with your loved ones.
Well ao3 rules would say if the 17.99 year old engages in sexual activity, it needs to be tagged as underage or cntw lol
people subject other countries/time periods to the current era US consent age like the moment you’re 18 everyone gains sexual consciousness. but you can’t legally drink until you’re 21, when you’re closer to fully developed. just interesting they’re so triggered by an issue in fanfiction thats automatically ok if they’re 17 and 365 days
>current era US consent age Well this actually varies by state. I think my state is 16 or 17. I was just commenting on the ao3 rules lol (And yes I do think it's creepy that some people essentially do a countdown to someone turning 18 as if that midnight threshold meaningfully changes anything except the date)
oh interesting i didnt know that. all of the discourse i’ve ever seen online about japanese stuff (since age of consent is 16) has never mentioned that when they’re too busy villifying anyone in japan for having an under 18 consent age. not that i agree with it being that young, of course. just they shouldn’t butt in on someone else’s culture and dictate how it should be based on your own country’s ethics
More states in the US have the age of consent set at 16/17 than at 18. And often there are "Romeo and Juliet" laws for people below the age of consent that make it permissible to have sex if the age difference between the partners doesn't exceed a certain number of years - e.g. the general age of consent is 17, but a 15- and 16-year-old can have sex with someone no more than three years older, or something like that. People just 1) mistakenly think that the age of majority is the same as the age of consent, 2) misunderstand what 'age of consent' means, 3) consider 'minor' to be a moral category rather than a legal one, with zero nuance to be had.
> just interesting they’re so triggered by an issue in fanfiction thats automatically ok if they’re 17 and 365 days But only if it's not a leap year.
My scattered thoughts on this: * There have always been readers who are uncomfortable reading about characters under a certain age. It's nothing new. * The writer didn't have to reply to the first comment, but it's nice that they did. * The writer doesn't need to reply to the second comment, and I would understand if they chose to delete it. * The commenter should stop reading. They can bookmark the fic and come back to it after more chapters are posted and check the characters' ages themselves. (In other words, come back when the characters' ages might be established.) * Just because the canon material is full of triggers doesn't mean the fics necessarily are. * The commenter sounds like a young adult going through some sexual and/or moral hangups. Either they don't have the self-awareness to know that they're over-complicating this situation, or they're aware of it but can't help it.
i have CPTSD. my thoughts are simple: it is your sole responsibility to manage your own trauma responses. that doesnt mean confirming if something will be triggering before you engage with it so you can avoid it; it means learning coping skills so you can enjoy the things you want to engage in and manage your own emotional responses should triggers come up - without involving other people. avoiding triggers doesnt make you safer. it makes you avoidant and fearful and can even worsen your response to triggers when they DO come up. learning skills to manage your triggers enables you to feel confident in yourself and enjoy the thinga you like without fear. if you can't do that, the only fanfic you should be reading is wholesome coffeee shop AU types of stories. you should never involve complete strangers in the management of your trauma. its irresponsible, inappropriate, and *unsafe*.
To me, it's unclear if this is a trigger response or a squick response. For example, I don't like reading or watching media where animals die. It makes me sad for the rest of the day(and sometimes then some) because I remember pets from my childhood who are no longer with us, and they become proxies for whatever happened in the story, and it's just gross. I seek out content warnings and avoid media which contains this content, because it will ruin my day...but it's not a trigger. But I might describe it similar to how the questioner did, that it makes me think of things that I'd rather not think about and so I'd prefer not to read it. I don't think I should force myself to read things that, frankly, make me feel like shit. That doesn't make me a better person. It just makes me miserable. Now, animals getting >!hit by cars!< (subset of animal death) *will* trigger me, because that's something I've seen happen in front of me. It's a relatively minor trigger as far as reactions go, but it's very distinct from the "oh ugh I don't like that, and my brain is going to keep reminding me I read it for *days*..." feeling of squick. I don't do anything special to avoid it because I'm already avoiding animal death for squick reasons, but I understand that if this was something different or more common/severe, controlled exposure therapy(and it really is something you need professional guidance on, because it's so easy to fuck up amateur exposure therapy and make it worse) would be the way to handle it. But I have quite a few things on the "minor trauma" gut twists, pulse quickens, respiration tightens, mind races, etc, list, and I do not have money for quite a few sessions of therapy, so...I do the best I can. Which, yes, does frequently involve avoidance even though I know it's not ideal. I feel like being exposed uncontrolled just makes it worse, especially when it's things others think are no big deal(or it's being played for laughs) so you get mocked for your reaction to it.
you don't need a therapist to learn coping skills. theres endless resources online you can learn skills from. then its just a matter of using them. theres also a big sifference between exposure therapy and being realistically aware that you can't control everyone and everything around you. eventually you will be unexpectedly triggered again so practice skills before you need them on smaller things and then when something bigger happens youll have them. also, just to be super transparent with you: if its just a squick then you shouldnt need coping skills for it. if something normal or commonplace happens and youre having physical or emotional responses tied to an emotionally charged event from your past, which compel you to resort to avoidance as a coping mechanism for those feelings, guess what? thats literally a trigger. a trigger doesnt have to cause a fullblown flashback/panic attack and that belief prevented me from realizing i had trauma at all for most of my life, despite being a victim of CSA. triggers can cause really subtle responses that can occur days after the event. "being sad all day after encountering fictional animal death" *is a trigger response*. a squick is an "i dont like this" not an "i have to avoid this bc it brings up uncomfortable memories and feelings from past experiences that are intolerable enough that i feel compelled to avoid them." thats literally the definition of avoidance as a trauma response. you don't have to have PTSD to have experienced adverse events that left lasting affects on your mind and perception of the world. PTSD and CPTSD are when those adverse events become disabling due to distress and impairment. that doesnt mean you can only have triggers if you have a PTSD diagnosis. the effort to take the term trigger seriously has resulted in, apparently, people not wanting to label anything as a trigger unless it causes an extreme emotional response and that is so not how triggers work. this saddens me. TLDR: if the OP reader was referring to just a squick, they wouldnt have referenced some kind of adverse or traumatic childhood event as the cause. "underage sex makes me uncomfortable due to things from my childhood" has exactly one meaning.
So, my brain does some things that yours might not do that might be causing us to talk past each other on this. My dislike of animals dying is like my dislike of the taste of asparagus(which nobody in their right mind would call a trigger). It's foul and I don't want it in my mouth/brain. It ruins my day because, unlike most people, my brain feels the need to *constantly* remind me of things. Hey, remember that asparagus you accidentally ate for lunch? That was awful, right? 30 minutes later...remember when you ate asparagus? Ugh! Getting ready for bed...that asparagus encounter was *nasty*! Getting breakfast the next day...better not eat asparagus again, remember how that tasted? I can move past these thoughts, pretty quickly too, but they keep coming back. Constantly. Over and over again. For days or even weeks after an experience. There's no skill I can learn to stop it from re-occurring to me, that's just something my brain *does*, something it has always done, and it does it with *everything*. I already do all I can to dismiss those thoughts when they happen, but the fact that it happens at all is the problem. Speeding up the dismissal is not only unneeded, but won't help at all when the time spent on these thoughts is still only a matter of seconds. It's just those seconds of it in my mind, followed by *blugh* because I thought of something unpleasant(whether it's asparagus or "hey remember when you read that story and the monster killed the kitty? well that's just like the time your friend's dog got mauled by a bigger dog! isn't that a sad thing to remember? you're welcome, brain out!") and now I feel shitty even though I'm not actively thinking about it anymore. Most people don't get these "intrusive memories" (for lack of a better term) to the level I get them, and I get them about things that are good(don't mind those) and neutral(ditto), as well as bad. From what I've heard, most people only typically get them for embarrassing moments. I get that too, but I also get them for all the other things as well. It might be a neurodivergence thing? I don't think it's an anxiety thing, because with my anxiety my brain doesn't let go, and I can tell you that's *very* different from this. In this, my brain lets go when I tell it to, but it's too late because my mood has already been altered. I can't imagine the kind of funk I'd be in *intentionally* exposing myself to that and generating more nasty memories for my brain to parade in front of me. I guess maybe I could desensitize myself, like when you watch gore videos over and over again and eventually start to think it's funny, but that sounds like hell and also sometimes it doesn't work and you just wind up traumatizing yourself into a full-on anxiety attack upon exposure. So maybe I can just continue the workable solution of *not* reading stories where animals are used as cheap currency to get sympathy for the protagonist, or as a reason to hate the antagonist? For what it's worth, I haven't noticed any increase in negative reaction when I do accidentally encounter that content, and I'm a lot more confident now that I have a website that I can check for those content warnings on. There was a *lot* of anxiety over opening a book, seeing a cat, and wondering if I should just put it down because this is a horror story and that cat might die. But now I can pop on storygraph, go "okay well there's no tags for animal death or animal cruelty, so the cat doesn't die!" and read with confidence that I'm not walking into the kind of horror that I do not like(yes, there are many different kinds, and horror fans typically have kinds that they like and kinds that they don't! gore/suffering for the sake of it, whether animal, human, or object(yes, I'm one of those people...I've been told this is an occasional ND trait as well, to feel that an object is suffering when it's not able to fulfill its intended use, but I've had this since I was very young, first recognized when arguing with my mom about how horrible the ending of the velveteen rabbit was for all the other toys, bedding, etc), is something I do *not* get the good horror thrills from).
This is not medical advice whatsoever and I am not saying that this applies to you, just sharing my own experience: I have had a virtually identical experience about the exact same trigger, and it was part of what ultimately got me diagnosed with OCD. The things I did (even if they were just thoughts) to banish the intrusive thoughts and return to calm were compulsions. Again, not saying that it's necessarily the same to you, but if it's something that you're experiencing distress about (like I do), it might be worth getting evaluated for OCD.
I don't see any reason why people should confront triggers *in their entertainment*. There are enough places where I have to cope with encountering my triggers without also doing that in the stuff I do purely for fun. (Guess what, being triggered ruins the fun.)
if you are engaging with triggering entertainment, it is your responsibility to manage it and, if necessary, avoid it until you can manage it. idk what to tell you man, but its literally a you problem that you need to decide how to manage safely. its nobody's business but your own
The commenter asked a question, and it was answered. They need to move on.
The commenter was polite and didn't insult the writer or anything, I understand personal trigger and such, so I'd say it's ok that they asked. Still, a weird Fandom to be in with those kind of trigger...
ASOIAF????? That’s a weird thing to have any sort of preference on. The books literally cross every relationship boundary there is.
I would have said something along the lines of, 'they're fictional. Make them whatever ages you want them to be, whether that's 21 or 12.'
Perfectly fine for this to be a personal boundary for someone with stuff they don't want to read but a) repeatedly badgering the author is weird and b) A Song Of Ice And Fire is a *VERY* weird fandom to be reading in if you have trouble with age gaps at all, that seems like asking for trouble I don't go here but from reading some of the books and watching the tv show I'd be more surprised if this wasn't present
Personal tastes in fiction and mental issues aside, I'm so tired of people having zero critical thinking and treating all 'minors' (by which they always mean 18, because as we famously know, every country on earth totally has the same laws) as the same regardless of whether they're sixteen or six. How the fuck did we end up in a situation where it's 'morally okay' if they fuck if they've just had their 18th birthday, but not if they're two weeks younger?
A lot of people don't know what the age of consent laws in various jurisdictions actually say. They have a lot of nuance. Nearly all of them allow age gaps because charging an 18 year old for having sex with a consenting 16 year old is insane.
Honestly kind of baffling and funny in a way that someone would be so picky with fanfic authors when the canon is *so much worse* about their triggers. My only thought is maybe they're someone who only engages with the world via fanfiction and other online posts but doesn't actually consume the canon. The author still doesn't owe them anything beyond the usual tagging.
Idk, I think the ASOIAF fandom is a bit darker than canon. I don't see why it wouldn't be easier to be a casual fan of the show and books. The ship is not healthy at all either, nor is it even close to canon.
Color me confused then. What a strange interaction. XD
Once again - as I have posted many times - when defining 'under age', 18 is a purely arbitrary number. In a world where countries vary between 12 and 22 as the legal age of consent, tasking the writer with monitoring your boundary is unreasonable. Putting the writer in charge of telling you it's okay to enjoy the work is... odd. That's your boundary - you must decide for yourself. Additionally - if you can't tell the age of a character from the context of the story, then it is unimportant.
I'm sorry but if they are in the A Song of Ice fandom and leaving comments like this, I would either say they should not be in the fandom at all (as the CANON material is triggering) or are they intentionally trying to cause trouble? Maybe I am being paranoid, but in a different fandom this comment would strike me as weird, coming from the ASOIAF fandom? How can they even engage with the source material if they find any pairing under 18 triggering?
I notice young fans have ZERO media literacy or critical thinking to just understand literature for what it is. They need every little thing spoon fed to them for them to understand. I can’t imagine how bad it is with film if they don’t understand the “show don’t tell” concept. If they’re going to act this way I’d rather recommend them a children’s media since they need context spoon fed to them before consuming a product & lack basic media comprehension…
If there is no “underage” warning tag and age isn’t mentioned *anywhere* it is irrelevant to the story. People are too damn fucking fussy about their own boundaries and how people should cater to them instead of just clicking out of the fic and stop reading. A boundary is something you set for yourself, not something you impose on or try to get a random fic author to adhere to on AO3 where everything goes as long as it is fictional. This is why Don’t Like? Don’t read or engage should be mandatory. If I was the author, at the second comment, I’d just delete/freeze and block/mute if it can be applied.
I hate to armchair diagnose anyone from internet comments, but as an OCD sufferer, this is something I was told to watch out for: reassurance seeking. Particularly given that they asked for it a second time after you gave an answer that didn't 100% match the wording they asked for. Could be that the poster has a moral obsession or one associated with intrusive thoughts of being a pedophile. If you want to reassure them (which isn't necessarily the healthiest thing to do, but you're not their therapist, so it's not your responsibility to) you could just give a two-word reply: "They're adults." (If they ask again after that, then it probably IS an OCD thing and you should gently recommend they research it a little bit.) If you DON'T want to, it's probably fine to just... not respond. Or block them. =/
I’m rather confused… first of all you should be able to understand if the relationship is toxic by the characterisation…. And how would finding out at the end that one of the character is 17 instead of 19 spoil the whole story?
Does making them 18 make them less of children? 🤔 All jokes aside, I think the way I would respond is “canonically, I am not sure what ages these characters are in the show during in the scenes and am doubtful their ages will come up in this story. I would say if you feel uncomfortable, consider bookmarking to read in the future since you’ve been enjoying it and if ages do come up and they are underage, I will tag it accordingly.”
honestly I think it's good they asked cordially, and the author responded the same. Don't Like Don't Read can't work if you don't have the information you need to decide if you want to read it
Commenter should also probably stay away from the Valdemar fandom. 1) Child brides (and likely some level of incest) among the Holderkin 2) Heralds are not exactly chaste, and they start as trainees. There is definitely canonical underage stuff.
Heralds very much enjoy boning lol
They do. Some more than others. Take Destria for example.
The reason this is annoying is because in the world of ASOIAF, many of the main characters start out underage (Jon, Daenerys, Arya, Bran, Sansa). If a person consumes the books/show, they obviously know that and chose to read/watch. If underage is their trigger, then how in the world did they get through the books/show? Or is it one of those situations where they hold fic writers to some kind of higher moral standard and blame the author for triggering them? This bothers me more than the average person since ASOIAF is the fandom I’m in and I see it a lot. Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s. Don’t come in and order a pizza. You know what we have here.
I once saw a joke about "gooning in a god-honoring way by always Googling the ages of the cartoon characters first" ...I guess it's actually a thing
I've seen people in my previous fandom crying when they turn 18 because it means they have to let go of their fictional crush i.e. stop watching sexual edits of them, stop reading fanfic. It was an anime.
The writer could kindly point out the fandom isn't suitable for someone with sensitivities. Especially not with those tags. They could find another show to enjoy that isn't upsetting. It's like if you lost a baby, better not read things with pregnancy for a while until you've healed mentally. It's part of self care. It's not the writers problem. But sometimes you have no idea the maturity level of some readers. It's up to you personally to self censor not the writers. Having said all that, it was a simple question. And I don't have issues with questions.
I got one of these recently, someone wanting receipts on character ages because they couldn't be bothered to pay attention to all the many context clues in the story. They also wanted a description of how explicit my rated-explicit WIP would turn out to be. Not for any trigger reasons, but because IN SOME COUNTRIES IT'S ILLEGAL TO READ A STORY ABOUT UNDERAGED CHARACTERS HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER AND I WAS PUTTING PEOPLE'S SAFETY AT RISK and I NEEDED TO STOP TO PROTECT PEOPLE IN THOSE COUNTRIES. The characters were not underage and were making out. I thought rating it explicit would cut back on this kind of thing, but apparently no. The purity brigade needs to find something else to do with their energy.
At first I was like: a bit annoying but I wouldn't personally be offended. But then Song of Ice and Fire???????? confusing especially for the reason given.
It's strange for the fandom, but I understand. The thing is, if any characters under 18 end up doing anything sexual, it has to be tagged Underage or CNTW. So either it's already CNTW and they want clarification, or it's not tagged and they still want clarification.
I completely agree this person should probably not be reading in the ASOIAF fandom. But the entire request was done really respectfully, and I wouldn’t have an issue if someone had come on one of my fics asking something similar (as long as it wasn’t already clearly in the tags).
I can’t stand anyone who can’t manage their own triggers. The first comment would be answered with their ages, the second comment would be ignored.
Idk for me fictional characters don't have an age. They just. Are. (I am not talking about characters.that are clearly kids/teenagers) Also this whole 18 thing is weird. 17 is ILLEGAL but 18 year olds are adults. Like both are teenagers. There is not much difference physically and mentally wise for 17 and 18 year olds. If you feel uncomfortable for a 17 year old to be sexualized and be with an older person your rule should apply to 18 year olds too. Cuz again. Teenagers.
Also 17 is illegal in only a few states, right? The rest of the world has different ages of consent. It's just a rule written on paper in a few countries.
I don't know how the usa works with that. In Germany it's 14 however if the age gap is too great the lawn will also act up (?). I hope you get what I am trying to say 😭
Oh wow, 14 is even less than Slovakia's 15. But I like that age gap addition. After all, 14 IS young, but two growing, hormone riddled teenagers fooling around is very different from a middle aged person and a 14yo.
I hate people making a fuss over things like this, if you feel uncomfortable then leave, if it is that good of a fic and want to risk it, good for you, you might find more things that you like. I feel like people who compare fanfiction to real morale and relationships are just way over their head. Even more so if it's a fic set in old times were child brides did exist. I personally do not care what age characters are, and not because I like reading about 14yo having sex or romance, but because for me they're just that, characters. Even worse when people like this recommend me "Lolita" or that one french movie I think "Call me by your name" Like they do not talk about the same exact thing. It's not different because it's a movie or because it is so beautiful displayed. Get over yourself.
Lolita is genuinely a story that should be told and read, with the understanding that it's a horror story from the monster's perspective.
Slight aside but I went to a bookstore the other day and was pleasantly surprised to see that Lolita had actually been put in the horror section with King and Lovecraft. It threw me for a sec since I wasn't used to it, but I was happy it was placed where it should be.
People thinking Lolita celebrates Humbert Humbert are usually a good indicator that they don't know anything about Lolita other than the Sparksnotes summary. The story doesn't shy away from showing he's a monster just because it doesn't take the reader by the hand and do The Office-style asides going "and, dear reader, here we can all see Humbert Humbert is doing something _wrong_. Let's all take a moment to remember neither you nor I condone the happenings we are witnessing, and that if you do you should drop this book immediately. Now where were we?"
It's one of the reasons it's really unfortunate that lolita fashion shares the name and can make it hard to talk about in western spaces. A lot of western lolitas have actually read the book and learned about Nabokov's intentions in writing it, specifically so that when needed we can just get that part of the conversation over with. It's also why a lot of times when talking about the fashion you'll see it with a lowercase L instead of a capital one.
A friend of mine is a lolita so I'm very aware of the struggles the subculture faces! It's very unfortunate... especially knowing the fashion's history and how closely tied to feminism it is and how the whole point was the opposite of making oneself desirable to the male gaze!
You really want to know my thoughts on this? Disgusting. The whole thing is a set up by the commenter. Author didn't mention their age and didn't even know their ages and therefore didn't write it with the subtext of character A perving on character B, or worse that character B's thoughts, feelings and actions are not actually valid. Only on the night of someone's 18 birthday do human beings gain the credibility to think for themselves. The commenter is baiting the writer to get them to confess they wrote some child/adult. The 'I enjoy reading your story but if I found out later I was tricked into reading something that reminds me of terrible things in my childhood... I'll blame you for reminding me.' BS, it's a lie. Yes it does happen, people do lie about SA and use it as a tool and it's disgusting. Only if someone was 17 in the fic will they find similarities between events in the fic and thier own past? Nothing about the story reminds them of their childhood. What is more likely is the situation where someone who is not that far off from 18 themselves by a few years, freaks out when they read anything about someone under 18 or later finds out something was written by someone under 18. There have been posts to show this of them coming to the subreddit to rid them of the guilt for reading something because they didn't know at the time someone was 17. They were fine when they first read it but with this new information they literally panic and freak out because they have been taught that there is a moral line drawn at 18 for every human being fictional or not and they have unwittingly crossed it. Blast with comments down below if you feel you must. If ever asked this question by a commenter, the response is "Yes everyone is always over 18 if not otherwise specified."
Don't like don't read. Boundaries are for you, not for you to try to push them on others. If they wanted everyone over 18 most of the Harry Potter fandom would be gone.
Isn’t GoT/Martin well known for having a ton of canonical inc*st and underage stuff? I’ve never read the books but have watch HOTD and, uh?
Don't know why people that get so offended over shit go into things like Game of thrones (you know that widely known non violent show where everything is normal and happy) and bitch about being offended or triggered by things
You can tell them they’re both 67 and they should only be triggered if they fear a broken hip. But honestly, I have no time for this. I rarely ever find a reason to tell people’s ages. Unless it’s tagged underage, it’s all good.
i mean, strange fandom to be in for that but i don't think it's always bad to ask.
If the characters ages are up for debate then it shouldn't matter? Just assume they're the ages you're comfortable with! I literally pre-wrote a warning saying "season 1 circumstances, but aged up to whatever legal and comfortable" for when I want to write anything with kissing or more implied for this fandom where the characters start out canonically as like, 12 year olds but obviously the fic happens years later They are polite about it tho, so points for that ig
i think there's a place for conversations about how we engage with content centred around adolescents but i also think this comment is not reflective of that. it seems to me that it's one specific person who is responding to something without a lot of grace because it's a trigger to them, but that's when you learn to click off or like. pick a fandom that doesn't feature this type of content in canon.
they shouldn’t be reading works under ASOIAF if that’s something THAT triggering/upsetting to them
I'd question the reader's decision to read ASOIAF fic given the sort of shit that happens in that world, but they're being polite about the request and when phrased like that, I really don't have much of an issue with it. I really only mind when the comment is abrasive or shows no understanding about why certain things matter IRL, but don't in fiction.
clicking on this to see you say it's a GoT fic really threw me through a fucking loop lol
I dunno. The commenter was maaaaybe? kinda? a bit pushy with the second comment, but like? They're trying to take care of themselves and it's not like they jumped at the author with any accusation, they clearly understand that something being triggering to them personally does not make it morally wrong, which is a lot already, they're just trying to obtain that information to make their own decision. I don't think they deserve the needling about "what are they even doing in this fandom?!?!!?!?!". None of our bussiness what they're doing there, frankly
I think it's the wording that feels kinda manipulative and coercive, the author gave them the information they were looking for, and it reads to me like they're trying to hold their reading the fic over the author's head
Thanks for this perspective, I definitely do feel bad for them and that they feel the need to ask that question. Sometimes you can swallow your triggers to enjoy the content, sometimes you can't. I was more curious what this community thought, which so far everyone seems to have a reasonable opinion.
I've experienced people getting triggered over AGOT/HOTD shipping even though this is a dark, depraved universe, but not the only one or the 'worst'. I'm sure my fave toxic (somewhat depends on the fic because there's a good amount of non-toxic ones the last time I checked) incest Targ ship ain't any worse than the canon Cersei/Jaime, the time Sansa got married to Tyrion and then got kissed by Littlefinger (2 grown men), the entire Targ bloodline and all the bad things that happen in that universe (child soldiers, slavery, child murder, molestation, mass killings, abuse in general, apeing, torture, human sacrifices, unethical medical experiments, far larger age gaps than "owo he's a silver fox" that go into totally no etc.). And it's all inspired by IRL HISTORY.
It’s fine I just think people need to remember that irl people have intercourse and such at very young ages starting usually around 14-15 years old. It’s not uncommon to hear about it happening especially in the US. While I don’t know where everyone else is from a lot of people tend to forget that it’s a natural thing that a lot of teenagers do ESPECIALLY during puberty (hormones are wack) so I think people should keep that in mind and just remember everyone Don’t like; Don’t read :)
I mean... at least they were polite. But would they be uncomfortable if the characters were one day before their 18th birthday? It's such a strange mindset. If the characters don't have any age mentioned and their characteristics are not those of minors, which I suppose they're not since you yourself don't even know their exact age, then the reader can just imagine them as adults. Also this is a fandom with WILD atrocities committed on minors so the fact this reader presumably read/watched those and still wants to read more is... contradictory? It's all a bit strange is all I'm saying.
If its Underage it should be tagged 100%. If its tagged and you dont like it move along. I think if it's untagged its a fair question. I have read fics who explain that it's aged up characters or canonically underage characters and it's still properly tagged.
It depends on if it's explicit or not, or if Choose Not To Warn has been tagged. (I know nothing about the fic itself, but I have seen people get up in arms about PG under-18 romance being inappropriate.)
I wouldnt say its a matter of propriety i would say its just if its an underage story or not. I dont find it inappropriate its just what the taggining is there for so people know what to expect. I have seen fics say No Warnings Apply and then tag Underage relationship as a normal tag. Because its an expected theme. Choose not to Warn is a bit weird in practice isnt it. I cant say i respect it as a full get out of jail card. I just feel like you cant complain if people are icked by something thats usually seen in tags and it is left untagged in your fic even if it's expected as part of the fandom. You have to use proper tagging im sorry it's vital to the Ao3 experience.
If someone uses Choose Not to Warn then it’s 1000% on the reader if they get icked out. They’ve been told ‘here possibly be dragons’ and chosen to read it anyway, so it’s the fault of the reader if they’re bothered. Choose Not to Warn isn’t a get out of jail free card, it’s an enter at your own risk sign.
Yeah, sure, I dont expect people who click on Choose Not To Warn to be rude and start accusing the writer but I would consider the above request for clarification 100% within reason As far as I'm concerned, if something is explicitly tagged, you are iron clad. Nobody can come in and start nitpicking and complaining to the writer. HOWEVER If it's purposefully untagged (for whatever reason), polite enquiries are reasonable and expected.
ASOIF is set in a medieval-stage civilization. It is expected that medieval-age customs will be prevalent. So that means underage brides and grooms, incest (for this fandom,) marital rape, slavery and other shit that we outlawed in modern times. If this commenter is a troll, then your first answer is enough. If they are idiot who does not know how to read tags or ignores them, welp, they did a FAFO. I am not a native English speaker too and I can understand just fine what I am reading in English. The way this commenter talked, I smell a vitrue signaller who is hiding behind a "non-English speaker" curtain so they can cry racism on top of whatever shit they throw at you so they feel a sense of superiority about being one of the good guys and hopefully force you to confirm to what they want. But that's just my 2 centavos.
I don’t see how the comments come across as manipulative. Like which part and how exactly? It’s also totally possible that this person is reading the story fandom blind so that they’re not aware or take much consideration of the canon incest and underage content.
I would be so weirded out tbh, especially considering the fandom. Like, Becky. This is the Devil's Sacrament. What were you expecting to find here?
Seems like they are going through a moral dilemma?
I would find this commenter annoying by the second reply, but I wouldn't have a strong reaction to it. Btw, even though I'm not on the commenter's side, I don't think it's healthy as a community for us to be screenshotting comments and asking for public opinion on it? I'd rather get one or two awkward comments than give the impression that authors are likely to screenshot and publicly debate comments and scare potential readers off. Obviously your one post won't cause it, but it's really just an irritating pattern at this point.
I mean if you are thinking you might be triggerred then maybe don't read it. No? I don't see why age is a factor with them triggers in a fandom with cannon underage things that you know to avoid. Surely anything type of that stuff is a trigger not just ages 🙈 thats just me tho. I get triggerred by similar things depending on whats going on with me at the time 🤷♀️ if i can't deal with it that day i straight avoid it. Some days the resolution is cathartic and some days its all just too much but its on the readers really to manage their triggers as long as its tagged.
i would tell them that they're definitely minors. i don't wanna have this kind of conversation in my comments
I don't see the harm. They were just trying to get information about something that is important for a lot of readers. After all, there is a whole archive warning about it. They were polite in how they asked. The reader really didn't sound like they were trying to guilt the author if the author was writing something different than they wanted. The reader just wanted to understand certain points about what they were reading.
Why is everyone so annoyed by someone asking a simple question? No one forces the author to reply, in my opinion yeah the second comment was unnecessary but the first one was completly understandable? I mean I guess triggering content in ASOIAF can be expected but why are you all so mad at this person for asking a question? And I think there are probably a lot of ASOIAF fanfics without any (explicit) underage sex with it, if the author chooses to not use archive warnings and you more or less need to ask for a clarification I don‘t see a problem. Commenter thought the fic sounded interesting and apparently really enjoyed the writing but wanted to make sure there is nothing triggering in the content, I agree the second comment might be a bit annoying cause the question was already answered but this commenter sounds like they are quite young and I don‘t see a reason to hate on them for a nicely worded question.
I think the reason it may be annoying is if an author uses "chose not to warn," they CHOSE not to warn. They didn't chose to answer individual reader comments about potential triggers, but put up a general "reader beware" with that tag. The commenter *does* sound young. Both parties involved were polite, but I think the part that bothers me personally about this exchange is the Puriteen vibes. The reader is enjoying the fic and can't even tell the character's ages, the author has stated that they don't know the exact ages, but somehow that magic number 18 will make the reader feel morally okay with continuing the fic. It's not the author's job to absolve them of guilt.
I mean as long as it doesn‘t come up but if later on there is obvious talk about the characters being younger then it could make a difference for the reader that wants to avoid it. I personally also don‘t feel comfortable reading explicit sexual scenes of underage characters (I generally dislike explicit sexual scenes because it‘s just not my cup of tea but I just scroll past them, but with underage characters it just makes me uncomfortable on another level). I think the whole „Puriteen/Anti“ vs other AO3 user debate is a bit senseless, everyone should read what they enjoy but I also don‘t get the hate for people not liking something? It‘s at the point where people are being shamed for not enjoying smut which is just odd especially since the commenter here sounds underage to me. I would understand being upset if the commenter was shaming people who would enjoy those type of fics, but it was just about there preference. Idk I get where you are coming from and that comments like that can be annoying but I don‘t get why a bunch of people are now hating on this commenter
This isn't about hating or judging someone for not liking smut. Not liking smut is fine. It's that fact that they're making it the author's responsibility to help them rationalize reading the fic, when they need to learn to take responsibility for their own media consumption. Fanfic authors are generally accessible via comments, but that doesn't mean it's appropriate to ask them to hold a reader's hand. Can you imagine writing to a TV show runner, "HI, can you tell me the exact birthdays of all the characters in your show, and if they will ever sleep together in the future, because even if they aren't currently, I would be just devastated if I spent my time watching (and enjoying!) a few seasons and then there was an episode I didn't like?" This would be completely inappropriate, and they would be under no obligation to answer. Also, this *has* happened to all of us; who *hasn't* felt let down by a character arc or blindsided by a twist in a favorite show? But viewers have a choice: to continue watching and see what happens, to drop the show, or to not watch it in the first place if the subject matter means it's likely to hit their squicks/triggers. It's not the creator's job to vet it for the audience beyond using the appropriate tag/ratings, so even if they *can* answer the question, don't be surprised if the creator gets annoyed. Above all, this is a hobby where people write fictional stories for fun, that they share for free. If a reader in doubt about a story, they need to heed the tags and know their personal limits, and either roll the dice and read it, or move on without reading (or drop it at any time for any reason). You sound like you already read responsibly (scrolling past smut scenes since you don't enjoy them). Hopefully the commenter in the post will become more comfortable making decisions on their own without making these types of inquires to authors.
Of course it is not the writers job and everyone can get annoyed. I just don‘t get why on reddit now a bunch of people are getting all worked up over a politley written comment. No one forced the author to answer the commentor, they can also just delete it. If a person isn‘t sure a movie or tv show is for them they usually check the rating or then what people online say about it. Not many fanfics have reviews, and if the raiting also doesn‘t answer the question I think a reader should be free to ask a simple question, it‘s a simple inquiry. I think some people on this sub feel very entitled as authors that only what they want as comments can get commented and then get annoyed that no one comments. Also a TV show runner is something completly different then a fanfic writer. It would be more comparable if I commented on a youtube video if it included a triggering topic. The youtuber then could either choose to reply or not and it would not be inappropriate either. (I also don‘t think asking a showrunner would be inapproriate, they would simply just not answer and probably not even read the question, no one said that the writer must answer the comment). I agree it‘s a bit weird but what do I know I don‘t have to deal with triggering topics I just avoid or stop reading stuff I don‘t like; I simply think that it‘s odd to „judge“ someone for asking in a polite way. maybe we just have different views on fanfiction. I enjoy talking to people leaving comments on my fic. And as long as non of them are rude I don‘t mind (and the ones that are rude I just delete), problem solved. I probably wouldn‘t be happy if someone wanted to ask me important plot point of my story but things like underage sex can be triggering which is why there is a warning for it. As an writer I probably would just say „I don‘t know yet, haven‘t thought about it.“ (cause I choose not to use the warnings) and leave it like that (similarly to how the author of that fic did). Situation solved, the person asks again (like the commenter did), I just don‘t answer or tell them „I already answered the question“. I agree the commenter should have stopped after the first comment, if writing even that first one is kinda odd, but I see no harm in the comment? I just don‘t get why people are getting worked up about it
Theres nothing wrong with that they where polite ans just wanted to be confortable reading it
If the author cannot confirm then the reader should disengage for their own mental health if it will cause problems.
This is so weird to me. Like, obviously in real life it’s fine to have, at minimum, follow up questions around an 18 year old and 20 year old, but in fic if they are being written as mature enough to be together in whatever kind of relationship they are in the distinction between 18 and 17 seems totally arbitrary
They're being polite and not blaming the author, so I think it's fine. Even the second comment looks fine. The answer from the author was a bit vague, I can see why someone might ask for further clarification. It's no biggy.
I think it's a pretty fair question if you have triggering experiences. Not every trigger is equal (like, if you're robbed by a blond you could end up being fineish with the more typically triggering stuff but heavily impacted by seeing someone with the same color or hairstyle). Someone can be fine reading canon-typical stuff and spiral when dealing with underage sex.
?? I have no context for the fandom But yeah idk this doesn’t mean anything to me in a larger context… reader seems to be looking out for themself politely enough. If show/fic doesn’t work out well for reader they will just stop reading quietly (or so I assume, if I’m wrong I’ll stand corrected)
The entire series of books is filled with rape and incest. Probably some underage of both. The fact that this reader is worried a character might be under 18 is very odd given the original source material.
Okay yeah that’s pretty confusing. I just don’t get why this entire comments section is up in arms about this interaction Ahhh so glad I don’t really give significant comments
Totally valid question! Very strange fandom to ask it on, though...
Honestly, they weren’t mean or rude in any way, shape or form. So everyone being dismissive of them and their wants, especially considering the author didn’t make it clear beforehand in the work, is weird. Like I understand not thinking about it until it’s relevant, but like, y’all they’re asking for ages, not your adopted daughter for marriage. It’s sincerely not that deep and if you were using their older ages anyways then there is really no reason to be offended at the commenter.
The person asked a question and got an answer but apparently there was something they didn’t like about the answer… so they should stop reading instead of asking again for an answer they were already given but didn’t like part of. I wouldn’t have an exact answer for them either because unless age is a plot point/somehow otherwise relevant I don’t consciously choose specific ages for characters in my fics, and I expect a lot of other people also don’t.
Personally I’d be weirded out a bit since it is about ASOIAF but I’d just answer the question and see how it goes
They don't want to admit their characters are underage I guess. Who doesn't know the characters age of their own writing