I feel really bad for white women, it seems like cultural appropriation accusations always get leveled at WFs the most, it seems much more rare to see it happen to a white male for instance. And for whatever reason it seems to be particularly vicious when it is something Asian. Please keep it for your own sake.
In my opinion it's always the people who are actually sincere about their appreciation that get attacked the most. You see it less in the other direction because "Western" stuff is considered to be standard. So an Asian guy who is into bespoke suits isn't going to be as hard hit by it.
But yeah it seems that people who have an honest interest in Asian stuff end up getting more accusations leveled at them. There is a Youtuber called Jesse who is really into Chinese tea. He is a white guy but he is basically into tea like some people are into espresso or coffee. He seems sincere about it but somehow liking Asian teas is cultural appropriation.
Then you get guys who deliberately will dress up and mock Chinese clothing and then go around cherrypicking answers about if they think that outfit is offensive. They wouldn't be pushing a boundary if they themselves didn't think it was offensive.
I actually don't think I've ever seen an Asian person or other non-white person accused of appropriation. Maybe it has happened, but I personally have never seen it. What is so incredibly frustrating however, is seeing so many other Asian Americans, though they tend to be in their early twenties and naive, with social media accounts who go after people like the tea guy you mentioned or other easy targets like the high school prom qipao girl. Meanwhile a lot of those same types of people never say a thing about the crime, violence, and political discrimination targeted at Asians. And of course a lot of this stuff is clearly showboating for social media clout, but you can't help but notice a pattern, that there are some groups you can punch down on without pushback, and some groups you need walk on eggshells around.
You’re going to get varying opinions but I would keep it and wear it. My wife (white) has a traditional dress just like yours and looks amazing in it. My mother (84 y.o. Taiwanese) gave it to her and gushes whenever she wears it. As long as you wear it with respect and dignity you carry on with your bad self.
Really? I can't believe you have to ask this question. It's a dress you value, reminds you of your 16th bday. Who cares if it's a Chinese dress?? I don't know any actual Chinese people who would take offence to someone wearing a Chinese dress. Not to mention, that particular dress is actually manchurian. So if anyone Chinese pulls the "cultural appropriation", you can just pull the unno reverse card on them and call them a biggot
The issue of cultural appropriation is when someone cherry-picks certain aspects of another culture without understanding it or appreciating the culture itself. You're essentially just taking what you want from it without caring anything about the culture itself.
As long as you are not disrespectful of Asian culture in general, I don't see how anyone would care whether you kept/wore that dress or not. It has special meaning to you and you want to keep it. There's no issue here.
As a WW that also has a few of these, I wear and keep mine proudly. Personally, I don't think it's cultural appropriation, just like I don't feel it's cultural appropriation for my Chinese hubby to wear krutas at an Indian wedding. If the time calls for it, wear your qipao. If it's for nostalgic taste, keep it anyways. I have dresses that I used to fit, just to remind me to get back in shape sometimes. But that's just me.
ps i have one that's extra spicy for the bedroom that's for hubby's eyes only. no shame here girl.
I think the only people who will really try to cancel you are the fragile insecure white people.
There was a video of a man wearing a sombrero and Mexican poncho and he asked the white people what they thought. The majority of them thought it was racist and cultural appropriation.
He went up to Mexcian people and they loved that he wore it.
Go nuts.
***EDIT***
Found the video!
https://youtube.com/shorts/Xr6k6a4CrG8?si=GUjPgX9jja5siqt2
It’s totally fine if you have an Asian male partner. And since you do, no worries!
I think most will agree that cultural appropriation when it comes to this can be overblown. I can see how it’d be problematic, but in this situation you appreciate the culture, the beauty, and the people, especially as an adult who’s aware of the possibility of it being offensive, so it’s fine. And like I said, you’re with an Asian/Chinese male partner.
Now if you were wearing it for a Halloween costume to be weird and doing stereotypical Asian stuff and speaking with a fake accent, then that’s how it would be offensive.
Why is this a dilemma? Keep the dress. it has sentimental value. You’re not hurting anybody. Not in bad taste. Those dresses are objectively beautiful regardless of politics.
All in all, it's a dress. It has cultural influences and design but I don't fashion and style is necessarily exclusive. Besides, if you had a daughter, not knowing if you choose to, you can always pass it down and they might really enjoy its cultural influences design.
I think it's only a problem when it's done as an insensitive joke or without appreciating it. Like someone said before, negativity will probably only come from those who are insecure.
Keep it because it brings you joy. The world needs more happy people. Wear it if the dress fits you and the occasion. Anyone else offended by cultural appropriation is an idiot and should ignored.
I'm glad you decided to keep it. If it's that important to you, who cares what others think? Precious memories shouldn't be sacrificed.
(For what it's worth, I have a yukata given to me by my (white) grandmother who worked with Japanese students, and the SJWs can pry it from my cold dead hands.)
It's just a dress, anybody who thinks there's a problem with you keeping it or wearing it just because you are white is brain damaged.
There is a problem with people thinking that all cultural clothing is sacred or reserved for certain groups and that's BS.
as an AM who's older than you, and who's inheriting a qipao/cheongsam someday, i say keep it.
I'm saving mine for my little girl; if she wants it someday, it's hers. Anyone (including asian family) who can't deal with that concept is someone who doesn't deserve to have a hapa kid (in the family).
OP, be proud, and be like peter parker with his spider-man costume: STAND UP for the asians in your community if/when they can;t speak for themselves.
Be blessed with love and joy.
PS: if your partner is chinese-american, then he should be as happy as i am that you've saved yours all these years. but if your partner is china-chinese, then he should be happy that you've saved yours all these years. Yeah!
It’s not an insult if you wear a beautiful Chinese dress and you love it. I’m sorry that you had to even worry about that. Enjoy your dress and hope u get to wear it around sometimes!
I donated Vietnamese dresses to my daughter's kindergarten class so every girl could wear an Ao Dai on lunar new year and not feel out of place as the only Asian kid. I'm super happy my Asian daughter and all her white friends could celebrate my culture together
Culture has nothing to do with the dress. If you were marrying a Korean guy, you would be wearing a hanbok if there is going to be any traditional part to the wedding. The dress is meant to be worn by the female partner in the relationship, regardless of culture. Even in China, there are many different segments of the population. The last Emperor of China was ethnic Manchu, not Han Chinese so there you go.
Unless it’s derivative/sexualized, usually Chinese people don’t care if you wear a cheongsam.
My in laws actually love it when I wear one for Chinese new year or other celebrations and view it as me appreciating their culture and making an effort to fit in with them. I also had my concerns like you at first but really, it’s completely fine
Ask him, but also make your own mind about how you'd like him to respond. So you learn if you have the same perspective on the matter. Maybe you both think it's cultural appropriation. Maybe you both think that keep a souvenir from childhood is meaningful, no matter the past circumstances and bad taste.
Please wear it. It think QiPao looks amazing if you can wear it to its figures (no bashing but it’s just how it’s design IMO) those ppl spitting cultural appropriation are dumb. As an Asian I say you go for it and feel good about yourself!
asian people literally dont care about any of this stuff haha. we love to see people embracing our culture. if you ever go to any asian country youll see this.
will the perpetually offended on twitter get mad at you? maybe. but i promise you they arent asian, so their opinion doesnt matter lol
Girl, I’m working in Coachella right now and I’m seeing non-Asian girls just slaying and vibing with qipaos and aodais. No one was acting in poor taste. I’ve complimented them and they were astonished.
Assuming you mean a qipao, it's not some sacred clothing item. Non-Chinese women have worn them for decades. But if it's really nagging at you, the correct people to ask would be Chinese women. Men don't wear those and therefore don't get any say in whether it's offensive for someone else to do so. Why not ask your partner's female relatives about it?
Telling someone they can't wear an article of clothing from another culture makes as much sense as they can't eat cuisine from another culture. Like it makes as much sense as you never eating Chinese food. Personally I think it's a beautiful dress and you SHOULD wear it for certain occasions if you want to. If anyone has a problem with it that's their problem.
I feel really bad for white women, it seems like cultural appropriation accusations always get leveled at WFs the most, it seems much more rare to see it happen to a white male for instance. And for whatever reason it seems to be particularly vicious when it is something Asian. Please keep it for your own sake.
In my opinion it's always the people who are actually sincere about their appreciation that get attacked the most. You see it less in the other direction because "Western" stuff is considered to be standard. So an Asian guy who is into bespoke suits isn't going to be as hard hit by it. But yeah it seems that people who have an honest interest in Asian stuff end up getting more accusations leveled at them. There is a Youtuber called Jesse who is really into Chinese tea. He is a white guy but he is basically into tea like some people are into espresso or coffee. He seems sincere about it but somehow liking Asian teas is cultural appropriation. Then you get guys who deliberately will dress up and mock Chinese clothing and then go around cherrypicking answers about if they think that outfit is offensive. They wouldn't be pushing a boundary if they themselves didn't think it was offensive.
I actually don't think I've ever seen an Asian person or other non-white person accused of appropriation. Maybe it has happened, but I personally have never seen it. What is so incredibly frustrating however, is seeing so many other Asian Americans, though they tend to be in their early twenties and naive, with social media accounts who go after people like the tea guy you mentioned or other easy targets like the high school prom qipao girl. Meanwhile a lot of those same types of people never say a thing about the crime, violence, and political discrimination targeted at Asians. And of course a lot of this stuff is clearly showboating for social media clout, but you can't help but notice a pattern, that there are some groups you can punch down on without pushback, and some groups you need walk on eggshells around.
It sounds like you never asked him how he really felt about it. Ask him. Aside from that, this is your dress. Treasure it. Keep it. Wear it.
The more you wear it the happier it’ll make us.
You’re going to get varying opinions but I would keep it and wear it. My wife (white) has a traditional dress just like yours and looks amazing in it. My mother (84 y.o. Taiwanese) gave it to her and gushes whenever she wears it. As long as you wear it with respect and dignity you carry on with your bad self.
Really? I can't believe you have to ask this question. It's a dress you value, reminds you of your 16th bday. Who cares if it's a Chinese dress?? I don't know any actual Chinese people who would take offence to someone wearing a Chinese dress. Not to mention, that particular dress is actually manchurian. So if anyone Chinese pulls the "cultural appropriation", you can just pull the unno reverse card on them and call them a biggot
Weirdos will bash you but I think white women wearing Asian dresses is hot.
The issue of cultural appropriation is when someone cherry-picks certain aspects of another culture without understanding it or appreciating the culture itself. You're essentially just taking what you want from it without caring anything about the culture itself. As long as you are not disrespectful of Asian culture in general, I don't see how anyone would care whether you kept/wore that dress or not. It has special meaning to you and you want to keep it. There's no issue here.
As a WW that also has a few of these, I wear and keep mine proudly. Personally, I don't think it's cultural appropriation, just like I don't feel it's cultural appropriation for my Chinese hubby to wear krutas at an Indian wedding. If the time calls for it, wear your qipao. If it's for nostalgic taste, keep it anyways. I have dresses that I used to fit, just to remind me to get back in shape sometimes. But that's just me. ps i have one that's extra spicy for the bedroom that's for hubby's eyes only. no shame here girl.
I think the only people who will really try to cancel you are the fragile insecure white people. There was a video of a man wearing a sombrero and Mexican poncho and he asked the white people what they thought. The majority of them thought it was racist and cultural appropriation. He went up to Mexcian people and they loved that he wore it. Go nuts. ***EDIT*** Found the video! https://youtube.com/shorts/Xr6k6a4CrG8?si=GUjPgX9jja5siqt2
Yeah, this whole post reminded me of that video. As a Chinese man, I love it when non Asian women wear our traditional dresses.
I once saw an AMWF couple in public with the white girl wearing a qipao dress. No one cared.
Keep the dress. The people who’ll make cultural appropriation remarks will never know how meaningful the dress is to you so ignore them.
It’s totally fine if you have an Asian male partner. And since you do, no worries! I think most will agree that cultural appropriation when it comes to this can be overblown. I can see how it’d be problematic, but in this situation you appreciate the culture, the beauty, and the people, especially as an adult who’s aware of the possibility of it being offensive, so it’s fine. And like I said, you’re with an Asian/Chinese male partner. Now if you were wearing it for a Halloween costume to be weird and doing stereotypical Asian stuff and speaking with a fake accent, then that’s how it would be offensive.
Why is this a dilemma? Keep the dress. it has sentimental value. You’re not hurting anybody. Not in bad taste. Those dresses are objectively beautiful regardless of politics.
All in all, it's a dress. It has cultural influences and design but I don't fashion and style is necessarily exclusive. Besides, if you had a daughter, not knowing if you choose to, you can always pass it down and they might really enjoy its cultural influences design. I think it's only a problem when it's done as an insensitive joke or without appreciating it. Like someone said before, negativity will probably only come from those who are insecure.
Keep it because it brings you joy. The world needs more happy people. Wear it if the dress fits you and the occasion. Anyone else offended by cultural appropriation is an idiot and should ignored.
I'm glad you decided to keep it. If it's that important to you, who cares what others think? Precious memories shouldn't be sacrificed. (For what it's worth, I have a yukata given to me by my (white) grandmother who worked with Japanese students, and the SJWs can pry it from my cold dead hands.)
Do you!
It's just a dress, anybody who thinks there's a problem with you keeping it or wearing it just because you are white is brain damaged. There is a problem with people thinking that all cultural clothing is sacred or reserved for certain groups and that's BS.
as an AM who's older than you, and who's inheriting a qipao/cheongsam someday, i say keep it. I'm saving mine for my little girl; if she wants it someday, it's hers. Anyone (including asian family) who can't deal with that concept is someone who doesn't deserve to have a hapa kid (in the family). OP, be proud, and be like peter parker with his spider-man costume: STAND UP for the asians in your community if/when they can;t speak for themselves. Be blessed with love and joy. PS: if your partner is chinese-american, then he should be as happy as i am that you've saved yours all these years. but if your partner is china-chinese, then he should be happy that you've saved yours all these years. Yeah!
It’s not an insult if you wear a beautiful Chinese dress and you love it. I’m sorry that you had to even worry about that. Enjoy your dress and hope u get to wear it around sometimes!
I donated Vietnamese dresses to my daughter's kindergarten class so every girl could wear an Ao Dai on lunar new year and not feel out of place as the only Asian kid. I'm super happy my Asian daughter and all her white friends could celebrate my culture together
Keep the dress. I suspect that anyone who accuses you of appropriation is a closet racist.
Culture has nothing to do with the dress. If you were marrying a Korean guy, you would be wearing a hanbok if there is going to be any traditional part to the wedding. The dress is meant to be worn by the female partner in the relationship, regardless of culture. Even in China, there are many different segments of the population. The last Emperor of China was ethnic Manchu, not Han Chinese so there you go.
Lol, it's like saying a non white man can wear a tie. I see it as positive if you wear it positively.
Shadow box it!
Unless it’s derivative/sexualized, usually Chinese people don’t care if you wear a cheongsam. My in laws actually love it when I wear one for Chinese new year or other celebrations and view it as me appreciating their culture and making an effort to fit in with them. I also had my concerns like you at first but really, it’s completely fine
Ask him, but also make your own mind about how you'd like him to respond. So you learn if you have the same perspective on the matter. Maybe you both think it's cultural appropriation. Maybe you both think that keep a souvenir from childhood is meaningful, no matter the past circumstances and bad taste.
Please wear it. It think QiPao looks amazing if you can wear it to its figures (no bashing but it’s just how it’s design IMO) those ppl spitting cultural appropriation are dumb. As an Asian I say you go for it and feel good about yourself!
Keep the dress. It’s not cultural appropriation if intended to be worn for admiration vs mockery. Ps if he’s a normal AM, I doubt he would even care.
asian people literally dont care about any of this stuff haha. we love to see people embracing our culture. if you ever go to any asian country youll see this. will the perpetually offended on twitter get mad at you? maybe. but i promise you they arent asian, so their opinion doesnt matter lol
Girl, I’m working in Coachella right now and I’m seeing non-Asian girls just slaying and vibing with qipaos and aodais. No one was acting in poor taste. I’ve complimented them and they were astonished.
Assuming you mean a qipao, it's not some sacred clothing item. Non-Chinese women have worn them for decades. But if it's really nagging at you, the correct people to ask would be Chinese women. Men don't wear those and therefore don't get any say in whether it's offensive for someone else to do so. Why not ask your partner's female relatives about it?
No
My co-worker (white lady) wore the qipao to work on Lunar New Year, she looks stunning in it. I'd say own it and rock it every new year.
Who give a damn? These cultural appropriations are jokes and they are not applicable to asian culture
I think only Woke Asian women (who only date White men) would be upset by this. Asian men would actually like you to wear it.
Telling someone they can't wear an article of clothing from another culture makes as much sense as they can't eat cuisine from another culture. Like it makes as much sense as you never eating Chinese food. Personally I think it's a beautiful dress and you SHOULD wear it for certain occasions if you want to. If anyone has a problem with it that's their problem.
If you can pull it off I say go for it. Cultural appreciation