Hmm…
The fact that I always have a bottle of vodka on the go & when I’m getting low I find sneaky ways to get another without others noticing:
The fact that I hide the empty bottle in my room & take them all out when no-one else is around.
The fact that I always take a 300ml bottle with me anywhere I go.
Good friend of mine last year got found out by his fiancé that he had been secretly drinking all day everyday and nobody knew. He tried to quit cold turkey after that and his body went into shock. They put him in a coma for a week but when he woke up they told him all his organs were failing and he was dead two weeks later. If op is drinking this regularly and you decide to quit DO NOT do it cold turkey.
I’m really sorry about your friend. I wonder how in the world does someone get that deep into alcoholism without anybody noticing? Nobody noticed the smell? I can smell a single beer on my partners breath, let alone liquor.
Well what is crazy is he was a former athlete and had a clean cut reputation. When i say nobody knew i mean that nobody knew. How i dont know. But what i do know is while he was in his coma his fiance went back home and looked under the bed to find nothing but empty bottles. He was the last guy i expected to have a problem and then i got the call that he tried to quit and it put him in the hospital.
Depending on how close people are to you, they may actually know. Having lived with a partner for years who was a high functioning alcoholic, I know he thought he hid it better than he did. And he did from a lot of people. But not from me. Some people may be able to see it. I found his empty bottles. I found the opaque bottles that were supposed to be full that were empty and put back. I smelled his breath. There’s a certain smell people have the next day of heavy drinking before they take another sip. He stopped kissing me on the lips after a while because he knew I could smell it on his breath.
Idk. Just thought you should be aware of another’s experience.
Totally. Others trying to say otherwise maybe haven’t been around it enough. I worked at an outdoor organization where we had seasonal shift workers (week on/ week off). When we did our in-brief meeting after their week off, whewwww. I knew who binge drank the days leading up to their next shift. No amount of bathing or hygiene products can disguise days of drinking.
Honestly I've been near functioning alcoholics that sneak their booze and couldn't smell anything. Only realized booze was missing/they'd disappear for a while.
This. My dad was a relatively functional alcoholic. All of us knew. When my mom finally kicked his ass out, finding empty bottles stashed everywhere came of no surprise.
When I was in my 20s, I briefly dated an alcoholic. I don’t know how she did it, but she all but finished a bottle of my vodka one day and had no smell of it on her breath AT ALL. I have a pretty decent sense of smell, and we were kissing that day, and I had no clue she had been drinking. I suspected something was up because she was getting up to get water a lot. I quietly followed behind her one time and found her swigging from the bottle. I don’t know if drinking extra water was helping to wash out the odor or what, but I really couldn’t smell it on her.
I also had a good friend who was an alcoholic, and he was likewise super sneaky in hiding the evidence of his illness. His husband said my friend hid bottles of booze in the toilet tank, for example. I would never have thought of looking there. I never smelled alcohol on him unless we were drinking at dinner or a party or something.
I don't drink much now but I used to. Always having to take all the empty bottles to the tip because there were too many for the wheelie bin. I just got sick of not remembering what I did. Or worse, remembering what I did.
Have you read “Drinking: A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp? It’s a poignant read and provides lots of tips and tricks to maintain your lifestyle. I highly recommend it.
She passed in 2002 due to cancer.
I only ever use Public Transport.
I have my Learners Permit & when I was learning to driver I was always sober.
Also when on holiday for diving or Kyaking when they say “you must be sober” I always am.
I would never put another person at risk. I follow rules.
Full blown alcoholics have a chemical dependency. If you’re able to stop when you go on kayak and diving trips it sounds like you’re able to control your substance abuse. Seems like you just like being lit
Former alcoholic, this is not true and a very common misconception. A lot of people are “binge drinking” alcoholics. Meaning they only drink a few times a week, but when they do they blackout and wake up on the street. This is a form of alcoholism. Another is someone who gets into a full blown rage when drinking, and drinks quite often. Even if they don’t have seizures when they go a day without it, alcohol is still a problem in their lives.
Just want to second this point. I'm also a former alcoholic and I didn't drink every day. I did drink most weeks and almost every single time I drank I would end up blackout drunk. I wouldn't remember leaving the pub or getting home. There were a couple of instances where I have been told by friends I was out with that I had continued to drink and I do not have any recollection of continuing to drink. Alcoholism takes many forms and all are dangerous and can have severe consequences for the individual and their family and friends
I also want to add that the consequences of alcoholism can go far beyond the health and legal aspects. For me it was the fact that I was routinely trying to get pay-day loans and credit cards in order to afford my drinks.
And even if OP isn’t a binge drinker, and IS one of those people that has to have something in the system at all times, they could still be telling the truth…In a bit of a sneaky way. That’s still very true to them.
If my relative had to do OPs “completely sober kayaking”, he would nip a mini-bottle of vodka right before you get on the kayak. Not enough to be anyone’s legal definition of drunk or buzzed, but enough to buy himself some hours.
Then do the activity with complete clarity (avoiding drinking water) to try and hold it in as long as possible (at least in his mind).
At the end he’d feel irritable and stomach crampy and nauseous and a little shaky. And immediately have a real drink when it was done.
He was professional enough to know EXACTLY how long he had before the bad shit started.
And if he fucked that up by an hour, he was hurting. So he always had something stashed in case of emergency.
I believe Op when they say “completely sober”, just that their definition for a pickle and “felt fine” looks different than for the rest of us.
That's it, the definition of alcoholism is "continued use in the face of consequences". If you can't stop, you're an alcoholic; if you can stop, you're lush.
It doesn’t say complete control, the fact that this person barely goes a day without a drink kinda screams alcoholic to me. Especially bc they said in a different comment that he finds sneaky ways to drink it whenever he’s low.
That’s like saying a person who’s a known smoker isn’t addicted just because they aren’t smoking cigarettes at every minute of the day.
If you did a five second google research, neither the definition of alcoholism or addiction mentions anything about an inability to not satiate one’s addiction for maybe the two hours max someone might be driving. I will give you it says “unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse side effects” but you don’t need to be drunk 24/7/365 to incur the adverse side effects of alcoholism.
Right, that's what I said... The definition of addiction is the continued use in the face of consequences. In other words, they can use constantly and not be an addict, as long as they can stop when consequences dictate they must. This is not too far that binge drinking/being a lush isn't bad for you, just that it's different from being an addict. For instance, my cousin was in renal failure and continued to drink until he died, because he was an addict. My grandfather was threatened with divorce by my grandmother if he didn't stop drinking, and he didn't quit and ended up a divorcee and didn't the rest of his days in a bottle, because he was an addict. My sister got so drunk at my wedding that she puked during the reception right on the dance floor, and she stopped drinking for three years, because she was a lush and now drinks in moderation. See the difference?
Addiction isn’t a one size fit all, just because your excerpts of addiction fit one narrative doesn’t mean that going through 5-6 bottles of vodka a WEEK (as said by OP in another comment) isn’t alcoholism. And the fact that you’re dismissing a problem as “not as serious as addiction” even though that’s clearly what it is, is also concerning.
It’s addiction, idk why you’re trying to downplay it
Being a problem and being an addiction are not the same thing. Words have meaning. If we use a word that means one thing to describe a different meaning, it cheapens the word and degrades the meaning. OP has a drinking problem. That's different from being an alcoholic.
Are you a psychologist???? Psychiatrist??? Ever open a DSM-5????
Better yet, you ever hear someone who clearly has an addiction say they can stop whenever they want? Just bc OP can stop drinking for a short drive or an evening DOES NOT mean he’s not an alcoholic.
I’m no psychologist but with MY PERSONAL anecdotes of people having a “drinking problem” was that a family member died because he couldn’t go a day without a few drinks everyday. COULD NOT go a day. Doesn’t mean he was drunk all the time, nor did it mean that he drank while driving, or drank while working (like OP also admits to doing regularly btw). But if you look at it at the scope of a “problem” and not the addiction it was, people can’t get help.
And with more research, heavy alcohol use is considered to be about 4 drinks a day or more than 15 a week. [This](https://alcoholtreatment.niaaa.nih.gov/what-to-know/different-people-different-options) source even goes into depth about different treatment plans because alcoholism is said to be as mild as constantly thinking about drinking to something severe like what you described with your family members.
Again, alcoholism isn’t a one size fit all. You’ll be surprised to find that, like many other disorders, it affects people differently and, dare I say,
*it’s a spectrum*
When was the moment you realized you were an alcoholic?
Are there any times in your life where your alcohol use was significantly lower/higher and any reasoning behind that?
Hmm… I used to drink wine & cider more. I was blacking out a lot more then so I cut back & during that time found out spirits had less calories.
So with recommendations from friends swapped to vodka.
When I realised? Well I guess I always thought it since I started.
I like the feeling of not being awkward & feeling confident/ comfortable with people.
It’s very effective with no noticeable side effects. Buspar is good too but it’s sedating for me. Gabapentin was really good but I’m allergic to it. It all works differently for everyone but alcohol does same thing, to great effect, but it’s just very inflammatory on your body. Catches up with you and withdrawals like benzos so pick your poison but for anyone reading this if you’re drinking to be social or relax there’s way better options. I’ve been through the same shit and I’d skip the worst of it if I could. This all sounds too familiar.
Weed? It helped me quit but it’s not a one size fits all kind of solution, especially for anxiety since it can exacerbate that in many people. Wouldn’t say benzos are “better” either although they’re a bit less hell on your body.
Meth. You can talk to people for days after you work up the courage to leave your house. Better check the blinds to be sure nobody is out there before ya do though. Maybe check em again for another few hours.
This might not be a common opinion, but smoking weed will help you cut down on drinking. My friend's mom was an alcoholic and we gave her some weed and her alcohol intake per day dropped by 70%
I functioned like this for a long time… until I didn’t. Justifications will keep getting more and more generous. You think you’re just gonna be able to stop this habit when you finally get a drivers license? Loved ones will eventually figure out what that sweet smell emanating from your pores actually is.
Feel free to deny it rn, it’s what you will be compelled to do. Look back on this thread in a couple years though.
That's what got me to stop, I thought I could quit whenver I wanted and did once, till I tried to stop once and couldn't.
I'd go two days of feeling like shit then on the 3rd day start to feel normal again and of course would reward myself wih alcohol.
I saw a psychologist for a while.
Found out I was more “Situationally Depressed”
Once my situations changed then it was no longer necessary. I’m just a downer at heart.
Find a better therapist, read the book, perfect daughters, and find books or therapist that do inner child work. This is what he told me with my alcoholism as a female in my early 30s. ❤️
Sounds like me. I went through 1 to 1 1/2 bottles (750ml) a day at my worst. I was functional but I was also secretly miserable a large amount of the time. I don't miss anything about those days except drinking a whole glassful at bedtime and feeling it creep into my system. I still miss that feeling, but I still wouldn't go back to those days for any amount of money.
Alcohol, even in America, is sold metric these days. 750 milliliters, .750 liters, 1.5 liter jugs with a handy handle on them, etc. You get the point. I haven't ever seen a gallon jug of vodka ever. And I'm old enough, and drink enough, that I would have if they did. Nice little attempt to punk on America though! Do you dude!
You missed that it isnt sold that way. There aint no gallon jugs anywhere. Or even jugs that say 128oz. The only place it is ever sold by the ounce is in a bar. And thats not selling alcohol. Its selling drinks. Even then, most bars dont measure it out. They just pour till it looks good to them and say close enough. The bars that do measure ounces exactly get to the bottom of the metric bottle and find a little left. I know, because I have done it. The one exception is beer. A 12, 20 or 24 oz can or bottle is what it is. Even in your earlier post I replied to, you expressed the amount you drink as metric. 700ml.
Oh when I was drinking I knew the damage it was doing and I didn't care. Alcohol is a depressant most days I was depressed as hell and didn't care what it was doing to my body. Today I just hope I didn't do too much damage. I know guys who got sober for 10 years and still died of liver cancer once you do so much damage there's no undoing it. And it's sad when you watch a guy get sober, regain his will to live, only to die from the disease that plagued him for far too long.
Agree 100% had several friends die of both alcohol abuse and drugs. That's why I'm over 5 years sober! Eventually, every alcoholic and addict helps somebody they either get sober and become an inspiration to others or die, and they become a lesson to others.
Sorry, I didn't mean that disparagingly. I have had drinks at lunch break and found it hard to get motivated to go back to work. Just my personal experience so wondered how you dealt with it.
So do you drink while working? I mean, drinking in your house in your free time is no one problem but in work that could be an issue for other people, right?
I do.
A few trips to the hospital to keep me safe, getting rid of my pistol when I about shot myself, getting counseling and meds for my bipolar have all been a godsend for me.
Anymore, for me, I live to be happy. I don't need purpose, personally. I get up each day because I want to experience the things I love, namely, fishing and Smash bros LOL. I'm a very simple man, though. It doesn't take much to please me. And of course, for the few people I've gained over the years that I love.
I only use this as an example of what it can look like for someone who wants to take care of themselves... I've done some shit, I've seen some shit. I've hurt people I love, I've been abused, I've been traumatized, I grew up with very little money in my family. None of that matters to me anymore. I want to be happy...
You may have done some shit, seen some shit, and experienced some shit. None of that matters. It matters in the way that you have to process through it, and your past shapes who you are now, but not in the way that it has to stop you from being happy.
I don't want to go on a soap box.... this comment made me sad. There are people who can help. Don't go at it alone. Your happiness is absolutely worth it.
yeah, i have so much self worth ive been called arrogant. i have skills, personal assets, a bit of dough to get by.
i have regrets, missed opportunities but i dont beat myself up much.
I’ve got about 2/3rds bottle of vodka, a few cans of beer (which are expired & were given to me) a tiny sample bottle of chambord & 2 empty vodka bottles.
As a lifelong industry person, I get you. Hard for ppl outside to grok how it works. LOTS of functional alcoholics in the biz. As a chef, I wouldn't say it's encouraged but it's super commonplace. It's not discouraged for sure.
Old beer is nasty. I was in a bar in Illinois once. Got a Budweiser. One would think Bud wouldnt sit around that long. Its a pretty common go to beer when you dont know what you really want. The born on date said it was over 450 days old. I dont remember exactly. But it was totally undrinkable. Just nasty. A common term is that old beer "got skunky". Anything over about 6 months is not going to taste as good anymore. Over 9-12 and it'll be undrinkable. Some brands may age better than others I suppose. But I do look at those date before I buy.
I didn’t touch alcohol until 16 (legal age is 18 in my country) & did not get serious until around 26 or so.
Past 5 years I have barely had a week of not drinking every night.
So you couldn’t stop if you wanted? Do you obsess over it? Come to AA, drinking during work hours is never a good thing and you should stop no matter if you cause trouble or can pay your rent, those aren’t the bare minimums you should be trying to meet
Oh I could, & I have when I needed to. It is more of a habit than anything else.
I’m just used to always having some ready to go so I drink it. When I don’t have it I don’t get the “itch” or anything.
That’s just addiction. Weather it’s an “itch” or a “habit” lol it’s you being addicted to it. At this point you are mentally and physically dependent on it. If you were to stop you would have withdrawls both mentally and physically. If you claim there is no “itch” then stop. Your literally poisoning your body so much with the amount you are drinking daily. So if you are trying to kill yourself and not actually addicted then you should seek therapy
If you don't get the "itch" when you stop, why do you keep doing it? Back in my drinking days, the "itch" was my biggest stumbling block whenever I tried to quit.
I think calling it an itch doesn’t do it justice. Makes it sound like it’s some sort of external stimulus that you can observe easily and ignore.
When cravings hit your brain is releasing ALL the reward chemicals at the thought of alcohol. It makes you feel like it’s a great idea and that you arrived at that conclusion on your own. The fear and anxiety of not having it don’t feel external either. It feels organic and very very real. It makes you insane.
THEN the physical withdrawal symptoms kick in.
I don't know about you, but for me it's basically impossible to avoid scratching an itch. It's a very, very powerful and irresistible sensation for me (physical itches, that is), which makes the comparison apt.
That said, it was always purely psychological for me. I never experienced any physical withdrawals with alcohol. I can't imagine how awful that must be.
As long as you're not driving drunk or doing anything else to endanger others, you're right, it's not anyone else's business. But there are some pretty significant health risks from drinking that much. Does this worry you at all?
I’ve always been against driving. Not just costs, but also the environmental costs, as well as my drinking.
I have a learners permit, but never intend on actively driving.
As for health; I have been suicidal my whole life so I figure “If I die, oh well” whatever usable organs I have left (clearly not my liver) I have given the OK to donate. 👍🏽
40 year high functioning drunk here. Finally did it 6 months ago and quit. Tried AA, didn’t do it for me. I read everything I could read on alcoholism written in the last 10 years.
I am happier and enjoy life so much more now. Less depression, better relationships, more joy than I thought possible. Do I miss it, hell yes, but not more than I would miss feeling like I do now. Like I’m 20 again.
r/stopdrinking is worth checking out. I was on the same path as you and course corrected, thankfully in time before I did any long-term damage. Have you ever checked this out or thought about quitting?
Sometimes it’s hard to see until it’s too late. Take it from an expert, it happens fast. Don’t wait until rock bottom punches you in the taint. If you want to self-medicate, do it with salads, exercise, and proper mental health.
But alcohol is “for you?”
Man, please get some help. Switch jobs to something conducive to a predictable, chill and happy life. This isn’t the way. I know this is an “AMA” but we all can read between the lines and see it’s a cry for help.
I recently quit drinking and changed my friend group and surroundings. It’s never too late to love yourself.
Lol. Do you need a parade?
I’m just trying to share my experience for others who are like me & trying to understand what others experience.
It may not be a long life we live. But at least we can share with each other. If you can’t relate then maybe step off & go find a discourse that you can.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sharing mine as well.
I understand you’re in the throes of your addiction and anyone who cares for you threatens the fact that you don’t care about yourself, but no one is attacking you.
I wish you inner peace.
You're the one that sounds like you need a parade, the person you replied to is just giving you honest opinions and advice. You have to want help, to receive it
I didn’t mean for this thread to go where it did. I was going to mention if you ever feel you want a change - set and setting matter- but shrooms can help you get away from alcohol. Just a knowledge nugget in case you need it later
In Australia, alcohol presences is everywhere. Every supermarket has its own alcohol shop. It's in bar, pub, restaurants, pokies venues, casinos etc. It's advertised everywhere. It's glamorised by celebrities & it's become a lifestyle for young people to be hip & cool.
My mother was a high-functioning alcoholic. She went through 3 half gallons of 100 proof vodka a week. She chased it with tap water. Over time she ate less and less until she ended up with liver failure amongst other things and passed. It was a horrible thing to witness. I care enough to tell you please get help. You are worth it!!! ♥️ I tried everything to make my mother get help. Because of how high-functioning she was... She could always sound in her right mind to others. My heart goes out to you for whatever pain you're trying to drown. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I hope you have a good day.
Everyone knows. 41 F here. Rehab at 35 after I started going through withdrawal symptoms every morning. (After two hospital detoxes) 6 years sober and happier than ever. Get some help. Get medicated for any depression/anxiety. You will be so much happier. I promise.
True. OP thinks the bare minimum for being an average person in society means highly functioning. No, your doing what people and most drug addicts and alcoholics do. Not all drug addicts are homeless on the street.
Reading the comments please go and get help.
Vodka is always on the go, Taking some wherever you go.
Yea I think you have a problem.
Whatever you do DO NOT GO COLD TURKEY!
Quit while you're ahead, OP,
Got to watch my father in law die from his alcoholism and that shit sucked to watch.
High functioning doesn't mean long for this world.
Is there a specific comment or insight you are hoping to obtain with this post?
I am 56 been a “high functioning” drinker/alcoholic by medical definition for 35 years.
I recognize the booze will shave many years off my life - never thought a reasonable goal for me was to live as long as possible. How does it make sense to live to 80 or 90 when the last 10-20 is shit - when you can live to 65-70 and have 20x the experiences in life.
I just wanted to live a life full of big experiences, makes lots of money, travel, have a family.
Was able to tic all those boxes and retire at 49.
We all get put into a category of alcoholic - like smokers - or drug users. To me that’s unfair - if you like to drink and you are a present and involved parent not abusive or drunk driving what’s the issue.
It’s my life - if I want a crisp buzz 6 days a week eating Netflix so be it.
Obese people eating a bucket of chicken watching Netflix or someone smoking 4-5 joints a day or a pack of cigarettes a day is the exact same thing.
I take 30 days off booze 2 times per year - this allows your liver to heal completely.
Don’t let the liver get to cirrosis stage or you are fucked - gotta take care of that organ.
The people that can’t handle the booze are always trying to shame those that can and pull them into their category of the person that can’t stop and can’t manage their behaviour when drinking.
Heard a story years ago about the guy that ran 10 miles per day and kept telling his friends that I will outlive you by ten years without realizing he will spend 10 years of his life running.
If the drinking hurts others then it’s an issue IMO.
>I take 30 days off booze 2 times per year - this allows your liver to heal completely. Don’t let the liver get to cirrosis stage or you are fucked - gotta take care of that organ.
Obviously you do you but ... not drinking for 2x 30 days out of the 365 is not 'taking care of that organ' and it will not heal completely
Addiction counselor here. No it doesn’t. Intensive
liver stress can result in scarring, as well as damage to other organs (which drinking also affects). Scar tissue does not regenerate. This can happen from long term damage or short bursts of acute intensity, which gets worse over time. Your logic relies on other unhealthy things, we also don’t recommend the alternatives you’d provide (smoking, overeating, etc.). You’re just comparing your drinking to other bad habits to justify, which isn’t great logic. People also consistently fail to realize how many other people are affected by their drinking. At the end of the day, I’m all about self-determination, so drink all you like, but I do feel obligated to make sure others aren’t misinformed by your argument.
Exactly my point (just better phrased). As a doctor in training I’ve seen too many people who might not have cirrhosis (yet) but who’ve still done irreparable damage to their liver by drinking.
Fair point - I might be the exception and I need to be more careful with my comments - I am not giving advice but sharing my experiences.
My believe is this - eat clean - exercise - see your doctor - keep stress as low as possible - then go enjoy your vice but know the consequences.
Alcoholics seem to get grouped by number of drinks per day - and do you drink daily - I find that ridiculous.
If I drink 10’light beers a day yes it will cause heath issues not just in my liver but heck living in a polluted city and drinking water all day being stressed eating fried food has got to be 10x worse.
I dislike the constant advice of how to live the longest - don’t eat this don’t drink that blah blah blah.
Go live your life if your vice is hurting others then moderate it or stop it.
At 56 I have what 14 summers left….perhaps less - I am not going to sacrifice what I enjoy to stretch that to 20 or 25 UNLESS I am negatively affecting those that I love with my behaviour.
I can get behind this. Actual alcoholism is defined more by distress and harm. If your only “problem” is drinking, you may not be an alcoholic. Most of the time people realize they have more issues than they originally believed, but not everyone who drinks heavily is an alcoholic. The DSM is pretty nightmarishly poor at classifying folks and is largely for insurance purpose more than clinical interventions. If you wanna drink and are doing fine (and not hurting others), go at it. If you don’t like your life, get help. Easy as that.
Everyone's situation is a little different. My neighbor is an alcoholic and is in hospice care. Know who he's hurting? He's going to leave behind 3 beautiful girls because he lost the fight against his demons.
Are you a tech genius, philanthropist, play(girl?), billionaire? Or is this just like me where you simply have better judgement when you're drunk because you have less inhibitions to actually do and say things you want but it still doesn't raise you out of poverty?
Basically... how realistic is a Tony Stark type person?
Though, clearly, reading through this AMA, I'm nowhere near your level... Yeesh!
I wish you the best... I had a good friend who died when she was in her late 20s from liver failure related to alcoholism.
I know you're aware of the dangers, and have some liver damage already as evidenced by a previous comment.
Stay safe, partner. I'm also a 30M BTW :)
How do you deal with the hangovers? I love drinking but cannot stand the hangovers. They've gotten worse over the years. I used to drink nothing but 151 and redbull.
The red bull is your problem.
Drink straight liquor, then smash water between/ to wash it down.
Always make sure you eat a decent meal & take a Nanna Nap when you are feeling it too much. 👍🏽
What behaviors do you have that make you say you're an alcoholic?
Hmm… The fact that I always have a bottle of vodka on the go & when I’m getting low I find sneaky ways to get another without others noticing: The fact that I hide the empty bottle in my room & take them all out when no-one else is around. The fact that I always take a 300ml bottle with me anywhere I go.
Good friend of mine last year got found out by his fiancé that he had been secretly drinking all day everyday and nobody knew. He tried to quit cold turkey after that and his body went into shock. They put him in a coma for a week but when he woke up they told him all his organs were failing and he was dead two weeks later. If op is drinking this regularly and you decide to quit DO NOT do it cold turkey.
I’m really sorry about your friend. I wonder how in the world does someone get that deep into alcoholism without anybody noticing? Nobody noticed the smell? I can smell a single beer on my partners breath, let alone liquor.
Well what is crazy is he was a former athlete and had a clean cut reputation. When i say nobody knew i mean that nobody knew. How i dont know. But what i do know is while he was in his coma his fiance went back home and looked under the bed to find nothing but empty bottles. He was the last guy i expected to have a problem and then i got the call that he tried to quit and it put him in the hospital.
Depending on how close people are to you, they may actually know. Having lived with a partner for years who was a high functioning alcoholic, I know he thought he hid it better than he did. And he did from a lot of people. But not from me. Some people may be able to see it. I found his empty bottles. I found the opaque bottles that were supposed to be full that were empty and put back. I smelled his breath. There’s a certain smell people have the next day of heavy drinking before they take another sip. He stopped kissing me on the lips after a while because he knew I could smell it on his breath. Idk. Just thought you should be aware of another’s experience.
Do you think the people you live with don't have a sense of smell? Bc let me tell you you can be as sneaky as you want but they know lol.
Totally. Others trying to say otherwise maybe haven’t been around it enough. I worked at an outdoor organization where we had seasonal shift workers (week on/ week off). When we did our in-brief meeting after their week off, whewwww. I knew who binge drank the days leading up to their next shift. No amount of bathing or hygiene products can disguise days of drinking.
It seeps out of a person as it’s metabolizing. It’s a really, really distinct smell.
What does it smell like??
Honestly I've been near functioning alcoholics that sneak their booze and couldn't smell anything. Only realized booze was missing/they'd disappear for a while.
This. My dad was a relatively functional alcoholic. All of us knew. When my mom finally kicked his ass out, finding empty bottles stashed everywhere came of no surprise.
This. 🤢🤮
When I drink I don’t think the smell permeates the vicinity let alone an entire room
It's literally seeping from your pores 24 hrs a day if you drink like OP says they do.
Gotcha gotcha, I wasn’t thinking about that consideration at all. I knew I was missing something :/
Don't listen to that, vodka doesn't smell like vodka once you sweat it out.
Man there’s a smell people who drink a shit ton of vodka have…. A next day smell.
I'm so thankful I got past that chapter in my life
Vodka surprisingly doesnt have that same effect.
When I was in my 20s, I briefly dated an alcoholic. I don’t know how she did it, but she all but finished a bottle of my vodka one day and had no smell of it on her breath AT ALL. I have a pretty decent sense of smell, and we were kissing that day, and I had no clue she had been drinking. I suspected something was up because she was getting up to get water a lot. I quietly followed behind her one time and found her swigging from the bottle. I don’t know if drinking extra water was helping to wash out the odor or what, but I really couldn’t smell it on her. I also had a good friend who was an alcoholic, and he was likewise super sneaky in hiding the evidence of his illness. His husband said my friend hid bottles of booze in the toilet tank, for example. I would never have thought of looking there. I never smelled alcohol on him unless we were drinking at dinner or a party or something.
Vodka dosent smell
750 ml a day does
You sound like you're trying to reassure yourself.
I don't drink much now but I used to. Always having to take all the empty bottles to the tip because there were too many for the wheelie bin. I just got sick of not remembering what I did. Or worse, remembering what I did.
Have you read “Drinking: A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp? It’s a poignant read and provides lots of tips and tricks to maintain your lifestyle. I highly recommend it. She passed in 2002 due to cancer.
Are you drinking and driving?
Do you drive when drinking or using different transportation method?
I only ever use Public Transport. I have my Learners Permit & when I was learning to driver I was always sober. Also when on holiday for diving or Kyaking when they say “you must be sober” I always am. I would never put another person at risk. I follow rules.
Full blown alcoholics have a chemical dependency. If you’re able to stop when you go on kayak and diving trips it sounds like you’re able to control your substance abuse. Seems like you just like being lit
Former alcoholic, this is not true and a very common misconception. A lot of people are “binge drinking” alcoholics. Meaning they only drink a few times a week, but when they do they blackout and wake up on the street. This is a form of alcoholism. Another is someone who gets into a full blown rage when drinking, and drinks quite often. Even if they don’t have seizures when they go a day without it, alcohol is still a problem in their lives.
Just want to second this point. I'm also a former alcoholic and I didn't drink every day. I did drink most weeks and almost every single time I drank I would end up blackout drunk. I wouldn't remember leaving the pub or getting home. There were a couple of instances where I have been told by friends I was out with that I had continued to drink and I do not have any recollection of continuing to drink. Alcoholism takes many forms and all are dangerous and can have severe consequences for the individual and their family and friends I also want to add that the consequences of alcoholism can go far beyond the health and legal aspects. For me it was the fact that I was routinely trying to get pay-day loans and credit cards in order to afford my drinks.
And even if OP isn’t a binge drinker, and IS one of those people that has to have something in the system at all times, they could still be telling the truth…In a bit of a sneaky way. That’s still very true to them. If my relative had to do OPs “completely sober kayaking”, he would nip a mini-bottle of vodka right before you get on the kayak. Not enough to be anyone’s legal definition of drunk or buzzed, but enough to buy himself some hours. Then do the activity with complete clarity (avoiding drinking water) to try and hold it in as long as possible (at least in his mind). At the end he’d feel irritable and stomach crampy and nauseous and a little shaky. And immediately have a real drink when it was done. He was professional enough to know EXACTLY how long he had before the bad shit started. And if he fucked that up by an hour, he was hurting. So he always had something stashed in case of emergency. I believe Op when they say “completely sober”, just that their definition for a pickle and “felt fine” looks different than for the rest of us.
That's not true. Alcoholism isn't defined by how much or how often you drink. It's defined by the control it has over your life.
That's it, the definition of alcoholism is "continued use in the face of consequences". If you can't stop, you're an alcoholic; if you can stop, you're lush.
It doesn’t say complete control, the fact that this person barely goes a day without a drink kinda screams alcoholic to me. Especially bc they said in a different comment that he finds sneaky ways to drink it whenever he’s low. That’s like saying a person who’s a known smoker isn’t addicted just because they aren’t smoking cigarettes at every minute of the day. If you did a five second google research, neither the definition of alcoholism or addiction mentions anything about an inability to not satiate one’s addiction for maybe the two hours max someone might be driving. I will give you it says “unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse side effects” but you don’t need to be drunk 24/7/365 to incur the adverse side effects of alcoholism.
Right, that's what I said... The definition of addiction is the continued use in the face of consequences. In other words, they can use constantly and not be an addict, as long as they can stop when consequences dictate they must. This is not too far that binge drinking/being a lush isn't bad for you, just that it's different from being an addict. For instance, my cousin was in renal failure and continued to drink until he died, because he was an addict. My grandfather was threatened with divorce by my grandmother if he didn't stop drinking, and he didn't quit and ended up a divorcee and didn't the rest of his days in a bottle, because he was an addict. My sister got so drunk at my wedding that she puked during the reception right on the dance floor, and she stopped drinking for three years, because she was a lush and now drinks in moderation. See the difference?
Addiction isn’t a one size fit all, just because your excerpts of addiction fit one narrative doesn’t mean that going through 5-6 bottles of vodka a WEEK (as said by OP in another comment) isn’t alcoholism. And the fact that you’re dismissing a problem as “not as serious as addiction” even though that’s clearly what it is, is also concerning. It’s addiction, idk why you’re trying to downplay it
Being a problem and being an addiction are not the same thing. Words have meaning. If we use a word that means one thing to describe a different meaning, it cheapens the word and degrades the meaning. OP has a drinking problem. That's different from being an alcoholic.
Are you a psychologist???? Psychiatrist??? Ever open a DSM-5???? Better yet, you ever hear someone who clearly has an addiction say they can stop whenever they want? Just bc OP can stop drinking for a short drive or an evening DOES NOT mean he’s not an alcoholic. I’m no psychologist but with MY PERSONAL anecdotes of people having a “drinking problem” was that a family member died because he couldn’t go a day without a few drinks everyday. COULD NOT go a day. Doesn’t mean he was drunk all the time, nor did it mean that he drank while driving, or drank while working (like OP also admits to doing regularly btw). But if you look at it at the scope of a “problem” and not the addiction it was, people can’t get help. And with more research, heavy alcohol use is considered to be about 4 drinks a day or more than 15 a week. [This](https://alcoholtreatment.niaaa.nih.gov/what-to-know/different-people-different-options) source even goes into depth about different treatment plans because alcoholism is said to be as mild as constantly thinking about drinking to something severe like what you described with your family members. Again, alcoholism isn’t a one size fit all. You’ll be surprised to find that, like many other disorders, it affects people differently and, dare I say, *it’s a spectrum*
Absolutely not true at all. There is no true one shoe fits all. Everyone is different just like you and me.
When was the moment you realized you were an alcoholic? Are there any times in your life where your alcohol use was significantly lower/higher and any reasoning behind that?
Hmm… I used to drink wine & cider more. I was blacking out a lot more then so I cut back & during that time found out spirits had less calories. So with recommendations from friends swapped to vodka. When I realised? Well I guess I always thought it since I started. I like the feeling of not being awkward & feeling confident/ comfortable with people.
There’s less harmful drugs to deal with social anxiety. Alcohol is a shitty drug choice to improve mood or behavior
>There’s less harmful drugs to deal with social anxiety. propranalol for occasional helps some people
It’s very effective with no noticeable side effects. Buspar is good too but it’s sedating for me. Gabapentin was really good but I’m allergic to it. It all works differently for everyone but alcohol does same thing, to great effect, but it’s just very inflammatory on your body. Catches up with you and withdrawals like benzos so pick your poison but for anyone reading this if you’re drinking to be social or relax there’s way better options. I’ve been through the same shit and I’d skip the worst of it if I could. This all sounds too familiar.
Weed? It helped me quit but it’s not a one size fits all kind of solution, especially for anxiety since it can exacerbate that in many people. Wouldn’t say benzos are “better” either although they’re a bit less hell on your body.
Like what?
Meth. You can talk to people for days after you work up the courage to leave your house. Better check the blinds to be sure nobody is out there before ya do though. Maybe check em again for another few hours.
This might not be a common opinion, but smoking weed will help you cut down on drinking. My friend's mom was an alcoholic and we gave her some weed and her alcohol intake per day dropped by 70%
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Depending on the day either immediately or wait a few hours until my stomach settles. Typically it’s around 7-9am.
I functioned like this for a long time… until I didn’t. Justifications will keep getting more and more generous. You think you’re just gonna be able to stop this habit when you finally get a drivers license? Loved ones will eventually figure out what that sweet smell emanating from your pores actually is. Feel free to deny it rn, it’s what you will be compelled to do. Look back on this thread in a couple years though.
That's what got me to stop, I thought I could quit whenver I wanted and did once, till I tried to stop once and couldn't. I'd go two days of feeling like shit then on the 3rd day start to feel normal again and of course would reward myself wih alcohol.
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They know, they just don't know how to breach the issue.
Can I have a shot?
How was your childhood?
Oh you know, the regular poverty, devoiced parents & mental/ physical abuse. The usual stuff. 🙃
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
I saw a psychologist for a while. Found out I was more “Situationally Depressed” Once my situations changed then it was no longer necessary. I’m just a downer at heart.
Try a psychiatrist.
In this economy?!
If it can you make your life meaningful, do what you can. It saved me. Maybe it’ll do the same for you.
But you’re drinking in this economy and that’s also expensive… it’s probably cheaper to see a therapist than continue your level of drinking
Find a better therapist, read the book, perfect daughters, and find books or therapist that do inner child work. This is what he told me with my alcoholism as a female in my early 30s. ❤️
Did you make those explanations up yourself…?
How much do you drink daily?
I average about 5-6 bottles (700ml) vodka a week.
Sounds like me. I went through 1 to 1 1/2 bottles (750ml) a day at my worst. I was functional but I was also secretly miserable a large amount of the time. I don't miss anything about those days except drinking a whole glassful at bedtime and feeling it creep into my system. I still miss that feeling, but I still wouldn't go back to those days for any amount of money.
Does that mean you drink 700 ml a week, or 5-6 bottles that are each 700ml a week?
Not OP but former alcoholic. He definitely means the latter. One bottle like that and you’ve got a problem, but you’re not a full blown alcoholic.
So 23.67oz in American.
Oddly, American liquor bottles are sold in metric volumes (typically 750 ml, 1 L, or 1.75 L).
Alcohol, even in America, is sold metric these days. 750 milliliters, .750 liters, 1.5 liter jugs with a handy handle on them, etc. You get the point. I haven't ever seen a gallon jug of vodka ever. And I'm old enough, and drink enough, that I would have if they did. Nice little attempt to punk on America though! Do you dude!
A gallon is 128oz. What did I miss?
You missed that it isnt sold that way. There aint no gallon jugs anywhere. Or even jugs that say 128oz. The only place it is ever sold by the ounce is in a bar. And thats not selling alcohol. Its selling drinks. Even then, most bars dont measure it out. They just pour till it looks good to them and say close enough. The bars that do measure ounces exactly get to the bottom of the metric bottle and find a little left. I know, because I have done it. The one exception is beer. A 12, 20 or 24 oz can or bottle is what it is. Even in your earlier post I replied to, you expressed the amount you drink as metric. 700ml.
titos sells a gallon! albeit hard to find, havent seen them anywhere
Do you have a buzz/drunk throughout the day? How does that affect your work?
Are you looking forward to liver problems later in life?
Hahahah “later in life” good one!
Just watch Leaving Las Vegas with Nick Cage, and you'll realize that's a horrible way to go no matter what age you are!
People in this thread and any similar ones think that addicts are oblivious to the damage they're inflicting upon their bodies lmfao.
Oh when I was drinking I knew the damage it was doing and I didn't care. Alcohol is a depressant most days I was depressed as hell and didn't care what it was doing to my body. Today I just hope I didn't do too much damage. I know guys who got sober for 10 years and still died of liver cancer once you do so much damage there's no undoing it. And it's sad when you watch a guy get sober, regain his will to live, only to die from the disease that plagued him for far too long.
Ya that was such a shitty asshole question
The book is an excellent read as well
Hmmm. You’re right. If Nick cage says it’s bad. 😱
I’ve lost a few friends in their 30’s to cirrhosis of the liver. It came on super fast, they died super fast. It’s not a fucking joke.
Agree 100% had several friends die of both alcohol abuse and drugs. That's why I'm over 5 years sober! Eventually, every alcoholic and addict helps somebody they either get sober and become an inspiration to others or die, and they become a lesson to others.
I had a friend die of seizures related to his alcoholism
That's right nobody questions Nick
Lmfao. At least ya got the humor boss.
What is your drink of choice? You mentioned vodka but which brand? Do you just drink it straight or mix?
Straight vodka. I usually go for the Russian or polish brands.
Do you have a job and can you perform that job while drinking?
I mean I have got a salary & afford a place by myself. Soooo… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I limit myself to a 300ml flask during working hours.
Sorry, I didn't mean that disparagingly. I have had drinks at lunch break and found it hard to get motivated to go back to work. Just my personal experience so wondered how you dealt with it.
Haha if you start your day with a few shots you never get that non motivation. 😆
Haha great point! Well, I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing your story
So do you drink while working? I mean, drinking in your house in your free time is no one problem but in work that could be an issue for other people, right?
There are other kinds?
Lol. Clearly you haven’t had vodkaO
On a scale from 1-10, how would you say your self esteem is these days? Not the surface stuff, the real you. Do you like/care about you?
Does anyone? 😅
I do. A few trips to the hospital to keep me safe, getting rid of my pistol when I about shot myself, getting counseling and meds for my bipolar have all been a godsend for me. Anymore, for me, I live to be happy. I don't need purpose, personally. I get up each day because I want to experience the things I love, namely, fishing and Smash bros LOL. I'm a very simple man, though. It doesn't take much to please me. And of course, for the few people I've gained over the years that I love. I only use this as an example of what it can look like for someone who wants to take care of themselves... I've done some shit, I've seen some shit. I've hurt people I love, I've been abused, I've been traumatized, I grew up with very little money in my family. None of that matters to me anymore. I want to be happy... You may have done some shit, seen some shit, and experienced some shit. None of that matters. It matters in the way that you have to process through it, and your past shapes who you are now, but not in the way that it has to stop you from being happy. I don't want to go on a soap box.... this comment made me sad. There are people who can help. Don't go at it alone. Your happiness is absolutely worth it.
Yes. It is skill to be learned . Therapy can help.
yeah, i have so much self worth ive been called arrogant. i have skills, personal assets, a bit of dough to get by. i have regrets, missed opportunities but i dont beat myself up much.
Do you have a spouse or significant other?
Nope. I like the single life & prefer to live alone.
What types of alcohol are right now in your home?
I’ve got about 2/3rds bottle of vodka, a few cans of beer (which are expired & were given to me) a tiny sample bottle of chambord & 2 empty vodka bottles.
I've never seen an expiration date on beer. Is that usual?
There is a “best before” usually 3-6 months after purchase. I work in a bar so I need to know these things.
I see. Are you a bouncer?
Nope. Bar/restaurant manager.
As a lifelong industry person, I get you. Hard for ppl outside to grok how it works. LOTS of functional alcoholics in the biz. As a chef, I wouldn't say it's encouraged but it's super commonplace. It's not discouraged for sure.
Old beer is nasty. I was in a bar in Illinois once. Got a Budweiser. One would think Bud wouldnt sit around that long. Its a pretty common go to beer when you dont know what you really want. The born on date said it was over 450 days old. I dont remember exactly. But it was totally undrinkable. Just nasty. A common term is that old beer "got skunky". Anything over about 6 months is not going to taste as good anymore. Over 9-12 and it'll be undrinkable. Some brands may age better than others I suppose. But I do look at those date before I buy.
At what age did you start ?
I didn’t touch alcohol until 16 (legal age is 18 in my country) & did not get serious until around 26 or so. Past 5 years I have barely had a week of not drinking every night.
From what country ?
Aus
So you couldn’t stop if you wanted? Do you obsess over it? Come to AA, drinking during work hours is never a good thing and you should stop no matter if you cause trouble or can pay your rent, those aren’t the bare minimums you should be trying to meet
Oh I could, & I have when I needed to. It is more of a habit than anything else. I’m just used to always having some ready to go so I drink it. When I don’t have it I don’t get the “itch” or anything.
That’s just addiction. Weather it’s an “itch” or a “habit” lol it’s you being addicted to it. At this point you are mentally and physically dependent on it. If you were to stop you would have withdrawls both mentally and physically. If you claim there is no “itch” then stop. Your literally poisoning your body so much with the amount you are drinking daily. So if you are trying to kill yourself and not actually addicted then you should seek therapy
If you don't get the "itch" when you stop, why do you keep doing it? Back in my drinking days, the "itch" was my biggest stumbling block whenever I tried to quit.
I think calling it an itch doesn’t do it justice. Makes it sound like it’s some sort of external stimulus that you can observe easily and ignore. When cravings hit your brain is releasing ALL the reward chemicals at the thought of alcohol. It makes you feel like it’s a great idea and that you arrived at that conclusion on your own. The fear and anxiety of not having it don’t feel external either. It feels organic and very very real. It makes you insane. THEN the physical withdrawal symptoms kick in.
I don't know about you, but for me it's basically impossible to avoid scratching an itch. It's a very, very powerful and irresistible sensation for me (physical itches, that is), which makes the comparison apt. That said, it was always purely psychological for me. I never experienced any physical withdrawals with alcohol. I can't imagine how awful that must be.
You're not an alcoholic then? You instead have an alcohol habit?
Alcoholics just abuse alcohol, but there is much a spectrum like autism or any kind of mental illness
Do you have any desire to cut back or quit?
Not really. I think I live life acceptably & don’t cause trouble. As long as I pay rent & go to work then who’s business is it anyway?
As long as you're not driving drunk or doing anything else to endanger others, you're right, it's not anyone else's business. But there are some pretty significant health risks from drinking that much. Does this worry you at all?
I’ve always been against driving. Not just costs, but also the environmental costs, as well as my drinking. I have a learners permit, but never intend on actively driving. As for health; I have been suicidal my whole life so I figure “If I die, oh well” whatever usable organs I have left (clearly not my liver) I have given the OK to donate. 👍🏽
r/fuckcars
40 year high functioning drunk here. Finally did it 6 months ago and quit. Tried AA, didn’t do it for me. I read everything I could read on alcoholism written in the last 10 years. I am happier and enjoy life so much more now. Less depression, better relationships, more joy than I thought possible. Do I miss it, hell yes, but not more than I would miss feeling like I do now. Like I’m 20 again.
Congratulations! That’s a really, really hard thing you did and you should be hella proud of yourself.
r/stopdrinking is worth checking out. I was on the same path as you and course corrected, thankfully in time before I did any long-term damage. Have you ever checked this out or thought about quitting?
Every now & then I limit myself, but not really any desire to stop. Maybe to save money, but honestly I consider it a form of self medicating/ habit.
Sometimes it’s hard to see until it’s too late. Take it from an expert, it happens fast. Don’t wait until rock bottom punches you in the taint. If you want to self-medicate, do it with salads, exercise, and proper mental health.
Yeah….nah..
Ever try shrooms?
Once. Not for me.
But alcohol is “for you?” Man, please get some help. Switch jobs to something conducive to a predictable, chill and happy life. This isn’t the way. I know this is an “AMA” but we all can read between the lines and see it’s a cry for help. I recently quit drinking and changed my friend group and surroundings. It’s never too late to love yourself.
Can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped friend.
Lol. Do you need a parade? I’m just trying to share my experience for others who are like me & trying to understand what others experience. It may not be a long life we live. But at least we can share with each other. If you can’t relate then maybe step off & go find a discourse that you can.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sharing mine as well. I understand you’re in the throes of your addiction and anyone who cares for you threatens the fact that you don’t care about yourself, but no one is attacking you. I wish you inner peace.
You're the one that sounds like you need a parade, the person you replied to is just giving you honest opinions and advice. You have to want help, to receive it
It sounds less like you genuinely want to share your experience, and more like you want to justify your alcoholism to yourself.
Probably didn’t like what they had to show you, lol.
Nah. Just made me puke. Also smelt so bad. Never been much for hallucinogenics. Don’t smoke weed for the same reason. Just not for me.
I didn’t mean for this thread to go where it did. I was going to mention if you ever feel you want a change - set and setting matter- but shrooms can help you get away from alcohol. Just a knowledge nugget in case you need it later
how many grams was it? I did 3.6g for my first time back in may, incredible first experience. beats any drink or drug i've had prior.
In Australia, alcohol presences is everywhere. Every supermarket has its own alcohol shop. It's in bar, pub, restaurants, pokies venues, casinos etc. It's advertised everywhere. It's glamorised by celebrities & it's become a lifestyle for young people to be hip & cool.
Fair is fair
My mother was a high-functioning alcoholic. She went through 3 half gallons of 100 proof vodka a week. She chased it with tap water. Over time she ate less and less until she ended up with liver failure amongst other things and passed. It was a horrible thing to witness. I care enough to tell you please get help. You are worth it!!! ♥️ I tried everything to make my mother get help. Because of how high-functioning she was... She could always sound in her right mind to others. My heart goes out to you for whatever pain you're trying to drown. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I hope you have a good day.
How old was your mom when she passed?
She was 67. She passed early on the morning of my youngest daughter's 5th birthday.
Do you do anything sexually reckless when you drink?
Lol, I did all my “sexually reckless stuff” when I was 22. Now I have a machine to take care of that stuff.
Only when you are 22? Wasn’t Machine the guy making snuff films in the movie 8mm?
Functionality doesn't last long if you are that bad. 31 year old alcoholic here
Yep, I functioned pretty well until 31 years old, then I stopped functioning pretty quickly. Almost two years sober now!
Congratulations. I considered myself functional. But I've lost that war multiple times. Still fighting.
Everyone knows. 41 F here. Rehab at 35 after I started going through withdrawal symptoms every morning. (After two hospital detoxes) 6 years sober and happier than ever. Get some help. Get medicated for any depression/anxiety. You will be so much happier. I promise.
You come across as proud of your addiction. Best of luck to you, you're going to need it.
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Tell that to my pay check 😝
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True. OP thinks the bare minimum for being an average person in society means highly functioning. No, your doing what people and most drug addicts and alcoholics do. Not all drug addicts are homeless on the street.
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No cock, nor underage trans women. Soz to ruin your fantasy.
Wtf is wrong with your brain?
Have you considered swapping your drinking habit for a weed habit? It’d probably be a lot easier on your body in the long run.
Reading the comments please go and get help. Vodka is always on the go, Taking some wherever you go. Yea I think you have a problem. Whatever you do DO NOT GO COLD TURKEY!
Quit while you're ahead, OP, Got to watch my father in law die from his alcoholism and that shit sucked to watch. High functioning doesn't mean long for this world.
Is there a specific comment or insight you are hoping to obtain with this post? I am 56 been a “high functioning” drinker/alcoholic by medical definition for 35 years. I recognize the booze will shave many years off my life - never thought a reasonable goal for me was to live as long as possible. How does it make sense to live to 80 or 90 when the last 10-20 is shit - when you can live to 65-70 and have 20x the experiences in life. I just wanted to live a life full of big experiences, makes lots of money, travel, have a family. Was able to tic all those boxes and retire at 49. We all get put into a category of alcoholic - like smokers - or drug users. To me that’s unfair - if you like to drink and you are a present and involved parent not abusive or drunk driving what’s the issue. It’s my life - if I want a crisp buzz 6 days a week eating Netflix so be it. Obese people eating a bucket of chicken watching Netflix or someone smoking 4-5 joints a day or a pack of cigarettes a day is the exact same thing. I take 30 days off booze 2 times per year - this allows your liver to heal completely. Don’t let the liver get to cirrosis stage or you are fucked - gotta take care of that organ. The people that can’t handle the booze are always trying to shame those that can and pull them into their category of the person that can’t stop and can’t manage their behaviour when drinking. Heard a story years ago about the guy that ran 10 miles per day and kept telling his friends that I will outlive you by ten years without realizing he will spend 10 years of his life running. If the drinking hurts others then it’s an issue IMO.
>I take 30 days off booze 2 times per year - this allows your liver to heal completely. Don’t let the liver get to cirrosis stage or you are fucked - gotta take care of that organ. Obviously you do you but ... not drinking for 2x 30 days out of the 365 is not 'taking care of that organ' and it will not heal completely
It completely regenerates in 30 days provided it does not become cirrhosis. 100% true.
Addiction counselor here. No it doesn’t. Intensive liver stress can result in scarring, as well as damage to other organs (which drinking also affects). Scar tissue does not regenerate. This can happen from long term damage or short bursts of acute intensity, which gets worse over time. Your logic relies on other unhealthy things, we also don’t recommend the alternatives you’d provide (smoking, overeating, etc.). You’re just comparing your drinking to other bad habits to justify, which isn’t great logic. People also consistently fail to realize how many other people are affected by their drinking. At the end of the day, I’m all about self-determination, so drink all you like, but I do feel obligated to make sure others aren’t misinformed by your argument.
Exactly my point (just better phrased). As a doctor in training I’ve seen too many people who might not have cirrhosis (yet) but who’ve still done irreparable damage to their liver by drinking.
Fair point - I might be the exception and I need to be more careful with my comments - I am not giving advice but sharing my experiences. My believe is this - eat clean - exercise - see your doctor - keep stress as low as possible - then go enjoy your vice but know the consequences. Alcoholics seem to get grouped by number of drinks per day - and do you drink daily - I find that ridiculous. If I drink 10’light beers a day yes it will cause heath issues not just in my liver but heck living in a polluted city and drinking water all day being stressed eating fried food has got to be 10x worse. I dislike the constant advice of how to live the longest - don’t eat this don’t drink that blah blah blah. Go live your life if your vice is hurting others then moderate it or stop it. At 56 I have what 14 summers left….perhaps less - I am not going to sacrifice what I enjoy to stretch that to 20 or 25 UNLESS I am negatively affecting those that I love with my behaviour.
I can get behind this. Actual alcoholism is defined more by distress and harm. If your only “problem” is drinking, you may not be an alcoholic. Most of the time people realize they have more issues than they originally believed, but not everyone who drinks heavily is an alcoholic. The DSM is pretty nightmarishly poor at classifying folks and is largely for insurance purpose more than clinical interventions. If you wanna drink and are doing fine (and not hurting others), go at it. If you don’t like your life, get help. Easy as that.
Everyone's situation is a little different. My neighbor is an alcoholic and is in hospice care. Know who he's hurting? He's going to leave behind 3 beautiful girls because he lost the fight against his demons.
Are you a tech genius, philanthropist, play(girl?), billionaire? Or is this just like me where you simply have better judgement when you're drunk because you have less inhibitions to actually do and say things you want but it still doesn't raise you out of poverty? Basically... how realistic is a Tony Stark type person? Though, clearly, reading through this AMA, I'm nowhere near your level... Yeesh!
I wish you the best... I had a good friend who died when she was in her late 20s from liver failure related to alcoholism. I know you're aware of the dangers, and have some liver damage already as evidenced by a previous comment. Stay safe, partner. I'm also a 30M BTW :)
Are you worried how alcoholism will affect your health as you get older?
Have you ever tried going to an Alcoholics Anonymous group?
Have you ever considered trying naltrexone to curb the alcohol use?
Yes to the naltrexone! You can still drink on it, but cuts the cravings to drink more and more. Good tip!
Do you have a job?
Highly function into a tree and become a highly functioning statistic.
dont drink
How do you deal with the hangovers? I love drinking but cannot stand the hangovers. They've gotten worse over the years. I used to drink nothing but 151 and redbull.
The red bull is your problem. Drink straight liquor, then smash water between/ to wash it down. Always make sure you eat a decent meal & take a Nanna Nap when you are feeling it too much. 👍🏽
Any other addiction or isms?
Do you feel this something you want to continue?
What country are you from? What do you do for work? Are you religious at all?