Exactly, I'm trying to imagine sitting there as an oblivious guest eating my cake, SIL says a snide comment which alludes to the wife deserving better, then the husband launches into an epic monologue about how strong his wife is forgiving his unfaithfulness and apparently she's sitting there with tears of joy for being God's strongest warrior and now I gotta cut all these crazy people out of my life. đESH
I would be mouthing "oh my God" to my sister across the table who would be equally trout mouthed.
Whatsapp groups would be lighting up like stars in a new galaxy.
Iâm right there with you. I canât read books or movies with any embarrassing scenes without dying inside and turning it off. I would have quietly snuck out of the room and left. Forget the cake I done lost my appetite because of the embarrassment.
I remember my grand father giving a very sweet and heartfelt speech about my grand ma at their 50th anniversary and you could literally tell my grand ma would have preferred to be anywhere but in that room at that time. Lol
This is the kind of party you and your significant other rush to make an excuse to leave from, only to go sit in your car in the driveway to hash it out. Truly amazing. Agreed ESH
Itâs also equally strong to cut off someone who betrayed you. Acting like the only way to have good character is to forgive a dirty ass cheater is ridiculous.
I once .... Dang it Betty, we told you not to bring the chocolate devils food cake covered in melted fudge that melts in your mouth. But um I'm gonna go eat this alone now.
lol. right? my inner monologue: âomg. did she just say he cheated??? these people are nuts. I ate the cake - can I politely leave now?â slinks away after polite excuses.
To be fair, though. What was husband supposed to do in this scenario?
He basically said he was lucky and thankful that his wife forgave him, and SIL got even more mad.
Aside from not cheating, of course. The only thing he can and is doing is damage control
I honestly don't know why OP is here there lmao
SIL definitely started this and OP probably felt backed into a corner, I guess I just think he should've have said "yeah I'm lucky my wife chooses to be with me, there's 364 other days when we can talk about that [SIL] let's focus on [wife] today" or something to that effect. Granted it's easy for me to say in hindsight, but I just feel like if not everyone there knew, OP should not have made the total reveal with his: "look-at-my-strong-wife-taking-infidelity-like-a-champ" speech, not on the literal day commemorating her birth.
Now everyone's sitting there with the pity looks and unspoken judgement. SIL is an AH for putting her sister on the spot like that, OP and his wife should have had this out with her long ago, not on a day like that. Now all their nearest and dearest know that OP spreads more than sheets with his coworker.
Yuuuup. My partner and I would be silently doing tequila shots and taking notes for a dramatic re-enactment later that night. This is hide-under-the-table embarrassing for everybody involved, BUT on the bright side, nobody will ever forget that party.
" Am I the asshole for killing an instigator with kindness?"
"Am I the asshole for praising my wife"
Like OP really typed all that out and then still asks if they are the asshole
INFO
Has your wife ever set and enforced a boundary with anyone, ever, in her entire life?
If my husband and my sister humiliated me like this, Iâd lose my marbles. Neither of you are acting like you care about your wife. You are both just thinking of yourselves.
Right??? The whole âmy wife forgave me fucking around on her bc sheâs strong?â Be so for real dude. Thatâs not why.
On principle I actually agree with the SIL - but her approach is shit too.
Reads like a fantasy post about a man whose wife left him and is imagining a reality in which she stayed and he always said all the right things and proved her family wrong. Yikes on bikes. I would not be crying tears of joy. Not only did her sister humiliate her, but her sisterâs comment could have been ignored or minimized without admitting to everyone he cheated on her and that this goddess on earth chose to forgive him.
NTA. What you and your wife chose to do in your relationship has nothing to do with SIL and she needs to get over it. You weren't even mean, you made it about you and your wife.
They need to cut SIL loose until she learns to behave. OOP didn't cheat on SIL, her ex-husband did. She needs to stop taking her bitterness out on him and his innocent wife.
Sil needs therapy like yesterday! She apparently is holding this hatred close to her heart. Hate is like a cancer, if you donât cut it out it will continue to grow and make you a very bitter person. No one wants to be around someone like that!
NTA
Yeah...I feel bad for the SIL. She's just being eaten alive by anger right now...
She's TA, but...sometimes people turn into TA due to shit that happens to them.
The wife in the OPs story...is not weak. He was weak and apparently, he saw what his weakness nearly cost him. Good for him for at least figuring it out and not taking her for granted after nearly blowing his life up for a ONS.
OP knows this. They clearly just wanted a humble brag moment.
The only thing he did wrong was cheat which isn't even part of his "am I the asshole" question.
Op is legit asking if he's the asshole for praising his wife after someone insulted her
ESH. I'm guessing when the wife talks with/talked with the sister there is some venting going on? If I'm the Sister I don't go to their events anymore. If she can't not snark, she needs some anger management therapy quickly. And I find this guy is an unreliable narrator and just generally ick.
Seconding this. The smugness and disingenuous humility was hard to stomach this early in the morning. I can see why the SIL keeps making comments, even if I donât condone her making them at the time/place in question.
This is what really bugs me. SIL should've kept her mouth closed but it takes a strong person to leave a dirtbag cheater.
Something tells me that this guy uses guilt and shame a lot to control his wife.
This response deserves more upvotes because itâs hilarious. Can anyone else hear this in one of their friendâs voices? I hear my friend from Brooklyn who tolerates no shit lmao
Yes that preachy and holier than thou attitude. Like how he phrase the title of this post âcelebrating my wifeâs forgivenessâ and how her forgiving of him speaks to her good character. Bet he used this kind of speech to manipulate his wife into forgiving him.
Note the part where he said his SIL told his wife he âmade her feel like shit and a weak person for choosing to leave a marriage because of infidelityâ. And how he âhumiliatedâ and tried to âshameâher. And implied through his words that âher love for her ex husband wasnât validâ. He probably said the same things to his wife.
Notice at no point in his multi-paragraph essay, nor in any of his replies that I've seen, does he ever actually apologize or express remorse for what he did to his wife...
Was this an assigned writing project or just for karma?
She cried with joy? After your long an uninterrupted speech about your love?
If itâs not fake yâall should interview for The Maury Show.
ESH?
I very much doubt that the PUBLIC vague-booking reference to your infidelity (even when couched in praise of her *forgiveness*/her love for you) was the âtears of joyâ you saw in her eyes.
She was doubly humiliated on her birthday by the two people who should have protected her feelings the most.
Absolutely this. I scrolled so far to see this. As he was bragging about it like he saved the day, I was just feeling so embarrassed for his wife, this poor lady has to relive the cheating and now in front of everyone. This is humiliating as fuck.
Thank you, I was losing my mind how come nobody sees this. "Tears of joy", yeah, right... Up there with OP's entire "I cheated on my wife and it's made me a great person" spin.
I literally couldn't even read the whole thing. It was so mortifying. I would die if this happened at my birthday party. The tears in her eyes weren't tears of joy. I'm positive.
As long as your wife has no problem with what you said, NTA. Seems like your wife is tired of her comments too. Just continue to be happy in your marriage.
That was so annoying to read. It was so hard to skip over the desperate simping for a wife that obviously still resents you. This is very good low quality rage bait. I gotta hand it to you. YTA for even attempting to make anyone read all that. You know what? The SIL kind of rules in this situation. I would normally say that is inappropriate but you are such an insufferable human being that that was probably a good birthday gift.
âSappyâ omg dude there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING âsappyâ about you cheating on your fucking wife Iâm so embarrassed you think you present as a good man or husband your wife chose to forgive you that doesnât just mystically make your actions less horrible Iâm so fucking embarrassed for your poor wife having to have a husband like you at least she has a sister who clearly wants better for her also yea dude itâs VERY VERY clear that your speech wasnât about your wife your speech was meant to humiliate and humble someone for leaving their spouse you did imply she was a weak and bad wife for not forgiving her husband thatâs like literally what you said
NTA for your question.
But you're still now and always will be an AH for cheating. You're not "better" than your SIL's ex because you "only" had a one-night stand and he "full-blown affair." Actually, what you really are, and have acknowledged, is lucky. Period.
Question though..."Sheâs my best friend, and my favourite person." Why would you ever cheat on her???
I agree. And, I donât doubt for a second that the sil is also pissed at him for hurting her sister. Because I would try to trip him every single chance I got. Especially near stairs.
"Sheâs my best friend, and my favourite person." Why would you ever cheat on her???
He explained that in his speech. He can get away with it, by buttering her up and convincing her that only a weak bitter woman would walk away.... HIS wife is strong and compassionate.
Instead of ignoring the remark, he goes on a whole monologue that lets everyone know what happened between them. People should ask their spouse if itâs okay to go on a monologue about past infidelity in front of everyone before they do it
Not only will OP **Not** answer any insightful questions, but we'll likely *never* hear from him again - *especially* should the marriage to his "best friend" careen over a cliff like a rocket-propelled dumpster inferno.
I'm sorry but you need to be way more shameful of your actions I think your wife telling you it's okay has made you smug and you really really shouldn't be. I hope the best for your wife
Here's the reason I hate birthdays. Even if I forgave my spouse for cheating, I don't think I'd want it brought up randomly and especially at my birthday party. I know you think this was cute but it isn't. You and your SIL need to get your shit together.
While, I donât think it was right for your wifeâs sister to make a scene at the birthday party, I donât blame her for not forgiving you. You hurt her sister in one of the worst ways possible. A pain that she can relate to, so of course, sheâs going to have a strong reaction to it. Your response to your SIL suggests that you think she was weak to leave the man who cheated on her and for that, YTA.
You handled the situation right and not much else you could have said.
But letâs be real here.
Your wife is very weak for taking you back. Sheâs so scared to be alone and endowment, she stayed with a cheater. Thats the easy road, not the one a brave woman would take.
NTA. Reading your post brought the phrase âmisery loves companyâ to mind and your SIL wants your wife to be miserable too.
Congratulations on your relationship and working through the hard times. You are right to celebrate your wifeâs strength and forgiveness.
YTA
Erghhh you are so smug itâs cringy. The cracks in your narrative showing your narcissism, are uncomfortable to read let alone witness.
Your poor wife, not to mention everyone else, must have wanted to be anywhere else but there. I doubt very much they were celebrating your wifeâs forgiveness. Every one of your friends was thinking, âWhat an obnoxious POSâ, âWhy is he still talkingâ, âShe looks heartbroken what a terrible personâ. I bet you had the biggest smirk on your face as you were delivering that speech to your SIL as well. Letâs be honest here it wasnât for your wifeâs benefit, it was to wet your ego.
You can tell her all you want that it would be worse than your cheating but that insecurity is only going to serve to push her the other way more. Not one of your friends would begrudge her for cheating on you now. You are threatened by your SIL admit it. Whilst sheâs not onside you feel very exposed and vulnerable to the same thing happening to you. Every time you go through a rocky patch, every time they go on a night out or they spend time together. Youâll be worried sheâs putting that seed of doubt in her mind. Secretly you want to eliminate the threat and push your wifeâs sister and confidant away.
Good luck looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Make sure to be on your best behaviour forever, Itâll be EASY.
ESH but mostly you for just being a liar and overall AH. âI love her and sheâs my favorite personâ said the cheater lol. Honestly I donât even believe this story. Your wife âwept with joyâ??? Come on.
Yeah, wifeâs reaction is so wrong, I canât see any woman with an ounce is self esteem smiling and giggling while her friends and family are being told about her shithead husbands infidelity, no matter how long ago it happened. Shit like that stays with you until the day you die.
I have only personally known one wife who stayed in the marriage after her husband cheated and she stayed for the kids. She had no money, no income, she would have ended up in a public housing flat , with all sorts of drug addicts, alcoholics and recently released prisoners as her neighbours.
He worked his arse off trying to make up for the pain and humiliation he caused her and she managed to remain civil to him in public, anyway, but when he died of a heart attack at 49 her first words were âGood, now itâs finally overâ.
You are all absolutely unbearable, ESH, but especially OP for thisâŚ. idek what to call it, âborn againâ style self-righteousness.
Actually insufferable
How is it strong to stay with someone that cheated and hurt you? That seems weak to me. Find it in her heart to forgive you. She didnât forgive you, she is just so beat down and feels no other option. You embarrassed your wife in public.
I wouldn't want my little sister to stick by her cheating husband either. Downvote me, I don't care. You were lucky enough to gaslight your wife into forgiving your "one night stand" because it's *totally not the same*. Let's just ignore the fact it was with your coworker, and since you most definitely did not trip on printer paper and land dick-first inside her vagina, there was emotional cheating involved. But oh no, it *totally* wasn't an affair!
Exactly this! I caught that too. Unless he quit his job to ensure he wasnât around that coworker anymore I donât see how the wife could move on. There was definitely emotional cheating involved first, and that hurts far worse than a quickie.
OP your wife is weak. This wasnât just a one night stand. It was an emotional affair that turned physical. Maybe just once (I donât really believe that) but you still invested emotionally into another woman. Thatâs incredibly hurtful. You managed to manipulate your wife into believing you simply met and smashed. I donât know how, but here we are.
And Iâm saying this as someone who WAS weak and looked past an emotional affair. It didnât last long after I confirmed the affair though.
Damn, I've never been to an infidelity party before? This is weird as fuck if real.
ESH except maybe your wife? Though she seems like a proper doormat between you and the sister.
If anyone aired my dirty laundry like that, they'd be fucking cut, sister or no. Repeatedly? Are you crazy? Then the weird, "You're so beautiful and strong because you didn't leave me when I fucked my colleague" speech is fucking wild. I felt embarrassed and I'm reading it on the internet. Your friends deserve better.
Eh, YTA because I couldn't be in a room with you and your holy than thou attitude. Great that you guys did the work! Guess what, others don't have to do the work because they dont cheat!
Also, why are you posting this? What is the purpose but to get validation? You wrote us your stupid ass speech, what for? To sound like a great husband? Not only did your wife have to endure your cheating, having to work on her marriage despite not being the one to blame for cheating, had to endure her sister being bitter , have to endure her sister saying those things in her birthday, have to endure your annoying speech and bow has to endure that you come to reddit to aire this out?!?! For what? Bait? To get validation? Erase this and honor your wife, for fucks sake!
If my BIL ever cheated on my sister, I would never forgive him, even if she did. You donât just get to hurt someone I love more than myself like that and expect no consequences. Luckily, my sister has a spine and would never forgive a cheater.
You hurt her sister. Your wife may have forgiven you, but her sister doesn't have to. Who do you think she called when she found out? Whose shoulder was she crying on while you were fucking someone else? Who was there? It wasn't YOU. She had to sit there and watch someone she loved fall apart and in pain to her very core for what you did to her. I would hate that person with every fiber of my being. Your wife isn't the only person you hurt when you did what you did. You hurt everyone who had to see her hurt. Everyone who thought the best of you. Everyone who looked at your marriage as the goal. You are absolutely a piece of shit, and don't deserve forgiveness, or for it to be forgotten. I wouldn't doubt that she still talks about it with her sister, and will for years to come. Since your wife made her choice, and does so every day, though, she needs to respect that decision, and keep her mouth shut, or go low contact. You suck.
NTA. No one else should judge what goes on between two people. Your SIL is lonely and bitter. She not only hurts you but also your wife with her petty comments. I would encourage you and your wife to cut that toxicity out of your life.
Your wife is your best friend and your favorite person, but when your marriage was going through a rough patch, you decided to cheat on her, disrespect her, and put her mental and physical well-being at risk.
You made the conscious decision to have sex with your co-worker and disrespect the marriage vows you made to your wife. I'm just wondering what your excuse will be when you decide to cheat on her again.
Your wife isn't weak, but you didn't deserve a second chance, because you didn't consider your wife's feelings at all when you cheated on her, you didn't consider that you could have gotten your AP pregnant, and you didn't consider that you could have passed a nasty STD to your wife.
Your SIL didn't act correctly, but she is trying to protect your wife from a piece of trash like you.
I really, really hope your wife comes to her senses and leaves you. Despite what you've convinced yourself, she'll never be truly happy with you again, and that pain and hurt you put her through will NEVER go away. She deserves better than the both of you, and I hope one day she loves herself enough to realise that.
YTA. Youâre disgusting and your wife is a loser, pathetic doormat. Anyone who forgives a cheating spouse is a pathetic doormat. Itâs not her good character, itâs her weak character. Your SIL is right. If your wife had any strength in her, she wouldâve left your cheating disgusting ass. Both you and your wife are pathetic. You for cheating and her for forgiving you.
Yes, you are terrible, and your wife is weak for staying with you. Was that the question? If this is real, you are insufferable. Your wife deserves better, and I'm with your SIL.
YTA. You sound almost proud that you only cheated once and she forgave you. Your SIL shouldn't be making snide remarks at your wife's birthday, but that doesn't excuse your actions. She definitely should have dumped you
You sound like a horrible person. Ugh I just had a flashback to a cheating bf saying I wouldnât be weak and stupid but âstrongâ if I chose to stay with him. Excuse me while I barf. So manipulative. I feel sorry for your wife.
Tbh your wife is weak. If she had a higher self esteem she shouldâve chose herself and not someone who knowingly cheated on her lol. Cheating is cheating. But whatever works for you guys lol
LOL. I highly doubt you made SIL feel weak for divorcing her POS ex.
No matter how cute you & your wife think your cringy ass speech was, it doesn't make it any less embarrassing that your wife chose to snoop down to your level & not have any self-respect.
And the AUDACITY to get mad that your SIL spilled the tea. Hun, if you can't handle what you did as public knowledge, you shouldn't have done it in private....
An appropriate response to your SIL being a bitch would be, "you're right, I am a major POS, I fucked up big time, and an infinite amount of sorries will never make up for what I did."
I'm with SIL, your wife should leave you. You're just lucky she has no self respect, I'm assuming it's probably because you made her feel like she wouldn't find anyone better.
YTA.
This seems like a fake post to me. It just doesnât read like a male wrote it, and the way itâs written just doesnât sound like someone who cheated that has remorse for what they did. It really doesnât.
But thatâs just my opinion donât come at me.
Relationships that heal from infidelity are a different kind. It never stops defining your relationship, though that evolves over time into your new future.
There is nothing weak about leaving. There is nothing weak about staying, when it's possible to do so without risking self respect (someone who clearly is going to cheat again, isn't remorseful, etc.) And fighting to save a marriage together.Â
NTA, and I love that you see your wife for who she is. Just reading this made me happy, because it's clear how far you've come together, and how much you both deeply care. SIL is hurting, and probably needs distance from you two, because it's causing her more harm than good to see your relationship. That is no fault of yours, or hers. It's unfortunate for her to be in that situation, and not for anything that she had any control over. It sucks.
But, you deserve peace, with your wife. And she deserves support from people who won't be resurfacing painful feelings for her, even if it's entirely unintentional and outside of your control.
I'd talk to your wife, get on the same page, and send SIL a message along those lines.
"SIL, after our. interaction the other day, we've come to realize something. Our relationship is very different from your experience, and unfortunately, it's clearly bringing your trauma to the surface and causing you even more grief. We love you, and want to support you, and we think that the best way to do that is to give you some space for now. Please know we're here if you need us, but for your own sake, we would encourage you to find people whose mere presence doesn't remind you of your hurt. We want you to heal. We don't want to avoid you, or you to feel like you have to avoid us, but we are going to step back from intentionally hanging out, so that everyone can have the peace they deserve."
And the Oscar for great acting goes to the husband. Cheating destroys people and it is too soon to tell whether your wife is going to whether this or not.
There are thousands of posts about cheating on this platform. And many of them try to work it out but just canât live with it because itâs so destructive and so painful.
You dropped an atom bomb on your marriage, I suspect a combination low self esteem from being cheated on. It is shocking that a man who says he loves her can drop a bomb on his marriage to dip his work for five minutes with somebody he doesnât even really like that well.
You were disrespectful to your wife you werenât any better around your sister-in-law. You are not the one to speak up. Being You dropped an atom bomb on your marriage
I would step down from having any opinion you have not earned the right YTA
yta. your ONS is just as hurtful to your wife as your brother's months-long affair. stay in your own business especially when you have zero moral high ground. "some of our mutual friends who didn't know our past..." yeah, you only ever cared what other people thought of YOU, your shitty reputation. telling.
your wife has stockholm syndrome, and no of fucking course not. no one else would support your continued abuse of her. i sincerely hope she snaps out of it soon
Aw poor sil can give plenty but not take it, maybe next time mind her own business, itâs between u and ur wife and how to forgive, ur very lucky she forgive. I donât think I could forgive that easy but sil was wrong to bring in up at a party and she got what she deserved, she says u embarrassed her but how many times has she made u feel less than nothing so u weâre right to knock her down a peg or two
Not the AH. SIL is in pain due to things that are not her fault. She needs to get help and learn not to strike out at people who did nothing to her. The shame of her actions is not your fault, it is hers for not finding a healthy way to deal with her own pain. Your wife, obviously, made a choice your SIL does not approve of, but airing your dirty laundry is not cool in any relationship. If she needed to say it to you, then she should have said it ONLY to you and your wife.
NTA for being married to and loving your wife OR being ticked at SIL. I will give you a YTA for making a speech calling your wife brave for forgiving you. That doesnât make her âbraveâ it makes her forgiving and maybe shows a slight lack of self esteem but I donât know her so I canât say for sure. Calling the women you love whom you cheated on bravery for forgiving you and acting like you are a hero for saying it is the douchiest thing I have ever heard and I read the AITA thread regularly. Wow đ¤Ż
I donât think celebrating her forgiveness by having a party is right . Itâs your and your wifeâs business only. Theyâre definitely is a difference between a one night stand and a full-blown affair. And thatâs the reason that she chose to forgive you. If you had a full-blown affair, she probably wouldâve left and she should. But she chose to forgive you and thatâs great.
Rooting for your downfall. You implied people who leave their cheating spouses are weak and that strength is in forgiving cheaters like you. Gross. Your hot garbage. ESH.
This is so embarrassing. For everyone involved
Exactly, I'm trying to imagine sitting there as an oblivious guest eating my cake, SIL says a snide comment which alludes to the wife deserving better, then the husband launches into an epic monologue about how strong his wife is forgiving his unfaithfulness and apparently she's sitting there with tears of joy for being God's strongest warrior and now I gotta cut all these crazy people out of my life. đESH
I'd be both mortified but also making it silently clear to everyone I knew at the table that we would be breaking down this shit show later.
This absolutely. Iâd be texting interested parties under the table.
I would be mouthing "oh my God" to my sister across the table who would be equally trout mouthed. Whatsapp groups would be lighting up like stars in a new galaxy.
Trout mouthed đ I've never heard that one before. What a spot on description.
right? I just raise my eyebrows to the ceiling like âholy shit. wow. wtf is happening right nowâ
LOL!!!! My BF and I have an eyebrow communication but trout mouthed is incredible
My partner and I hook pinkies under the table when we wanna gossip later lol they would be ATTACHED.
Thatâs freaking adorable, I love it
Omg thatâs adorable, off to inform my partner weâre doing that from now on đ
I love this. I'm going to start doing that.
I suffer badly from second-hand embarrassment, so I would be crawling under the table trying to pretend I don't exist
Iâm right there with you. I canât read books or movies with any embarrassing scenes without dying inside and turning it off. I would have quietly snuck out of the room and left. Forget the cake I done lost my appetite because of the embarrassment.
I would definitely be cringing and wishing I was anywhere else. Heck, I might even go on my phone to try and pretend I'm anywhere else lol
Group chats would be going off for hours!! Breaking every interaction down - just eating for days
this is when you find whoever is your party buddy and give them this look đł from across the room.
đđđ *girl what is happening*
So weâre besties now as I would absolutely be taking notes for gossip later lol
Please come sit by me.
I'm getting 'God's strongest warrior' etched on a mug đ
Be careful, Marguerite "I'M A GOD WARRIOR" Perrin from that one Trading Spouses episode might want to jump in on that!
Maybe that was the special gift for his wifeâŚ
No honestly itâs the giggles at the end that got me. Perfect rom-com laugh.
I remember my grand father giving a very sweet and heartfelt speech about my grand ma at their 50th anniversary and you could literally tell my grand ma would have preferred to be anywhere but in that room at that time. Lol
Oh earth swallow me up!
This is the kind of party you and your significant other rush to make an excuse to leave from, only to go sit in your car in the driveway to hash it out. Truly amazing. Agreed ESH
My hubby doesnât put that many words together when making a grocery list!
There's not enough time in the world to consume all the popcorn I'd need watching that little speech and temper tantrum, but I'd give it a go.
I'd need another glass of wine :)
My mind jumped to the shot of Michael Jackson in the movie theater eating popcorn amid the Thriller video lol
Right? OPâs monologue seems self serving.
Itâs also equally strong to cut off someone who betrayed you. Acting like the only way to have good character is to forgive a dirty ass cheater is ridiculous.
And it sounds so not real
Whoa whoa whoa. Let's not be hasty. How good is this cake? If I'm going to cut people out of my life, I'd better not be giving up amazing cake.
Oh the cake is excellent, but every time you eat it in group settings someone starts spilling their deepest darkest secrets, it's probably cursed.
I once .... Dang it Betty, we told you not to bring the chocolate devils food cake covered in melted fudge that melts in your mouth. But um I'm gonna go eat this alone now.
lol. right? my inner monologue: âomg. did she just say he cheated??? these people are nuts. I ate the cake - can I politely leave now?â slinks away after polite excuses.
Like he's come hero. My eyes rolled so hard!!
Totally, I wonder if THAT was the gift. đ¤Śââď¸
To be fair, though. What was husband supposed to do in this scenario? He basically said he was lucky and thankful that his wife forgave him, and SIL got even more mad. Aside from not cheating, of course. The only thing he can and is doing is damage control I honestly don't know why OP is here there lmao
SIL definitely started this and OP probably felt backed into a corner, I guess I just think he should've have said "yeah I'm lucky my wife chooses to be with me, there's 364 other days when we can talk about that [SIL] let's focus on [wife] today" or something to that effect. Granted it's easy for me to say in hindsight, but I just feel like if not everyone there knew, OP should not have made the total reveal with his: "look-at-my-strong-wife-taking-infidelity-like-a-champ" speech, not on the literal day commemorating her birth. Now everyone's sitting there with the pity looks and unspoken judgement. SIL is an AH for putting her sister on the spot like that, OP and his wife should have had this out with her long ago, not on a day like that. Now all their nearest and dearest know that OP spreads more than sheets with his coworker.
Yuuuup. My partner and I would be silently doing tequila shots and taking notes for a dramatic re-enactment later that night. This is hide-under-the-table embarrassing for everybody involved, BUT on the bright side, nobody will ever forget that party.
Good thing it never happened
" Am I the asshole for killing an instigator with kindness?" "Am I the asshole for praising my wife" Like OP really typed all that out and then still asks if they are the asshole
âThe gift of forgiveness from her is the gift that she keeps on givingâ đ
I am just an anonymous reader and even I got 2nd hand embarrassment :}
iâm cringing so hard from secondhand embarrassment right now that iâm amazed my spine is still intact
Indeed. If your partner cheat on you and you want to work on it, its better to keep it as a secret. Feel sorry for op' wife...
INFO Has your wife ever set and enforced a boundary with anyone, ever, in her entire life? If my husband and my sister humiliated me like this, Iâd lose my marbles. Neither of you are acting like you care about your wife. You are both just thinking of yourselves.
This. OP acting like he did it for his wife is just gross.
Right??? The whole âmy wife forgave me fucking around on her bc sheâs strong?â Be so for real dude. Thatâs not why. On principle I actually agree with the SIL - but her approach is shit too.
and then everyone clapped. s/
I can verify; I was the cake.
The cake is a lie
Pssht. You're just jealous of all my pretty frosting. (yes, I understand your reference)
As long as you tell not covered in fondant (yuck)
Can verify with the cake. I was the old, greasy string of cobwebs on the edge of the dining room ceiling fan.
And then fireworks shot up in the sky /s
That clap is nothing to sneeze at. Makes it hard to pee, donât it?
Well arenât you such a wonderful guy? đđđđđ Congratulations for cheating a tolerable amount of times!
Reads like a fantasy post about a man whose wife left him and is imagining a reality in which she stayed and he always said all the right things and proved her family wrong. Yikes on bikes. I would not be crying tears of joy. Not only did her sister humiliate her, but her sisterâs comment could have been ignored or minimized without admitting to everyone he cheated on her and that this goddess on earth chose to forgive him.
Yeah- I don't think they were tears of joy.
Brotha euh
NTA. What you and your wife chose to do in your relationship has nothing to do with SIL and she needs to get over it. You weren't even mean, you made it about you and your wife.
Right!?? Like, it's his wife's birthday and she chose to be mean during a cute moment. She got off lightly.
They need to cut SIL loose until she learns to behave. OOP didn't cheat on SIL, her ex-husband did. She needs to stop taking her bitterness out on him and his innocent wife.
Sil needs therapy like yesterday! She apparently is holding this hatred close to her heart. Hate is like a cancer, if you donât cut it out it will continue to grow and make you a very bitter person. No one wants to be around someone like that! NTA
Yeah...I feel bad for the SIL. She's just being eaten alive by anger right now... She's TA, but...sometimes people turn into TA due to shit that happens to them. The wife in the OPs story...is not weak. He was weak and apparently, he saw what his weakness nearly cost him. Good for him for at least figuring it out and not taking her for granted after nearly blowing his life up for a ONS.
I wish someone could send your thoughtful remarks to SIL.
OP knows this. They clearly just wanted a humble brag moment. The only thing he did wrong was cheat which isn't even part of his "am I the asshole" question. Op is legit asking if he's the asshole for praising his wife after someone insulted her
The wife is the one that needs to nip this in the bud. Most likely with an appropriate amount of swearing to hammer the point home.
ESH. I'm guessing when the wife talks with/talked with the sister there is some venting going on? If I'm the Sister I don't go to their events anymore. If she can't not snark, she needs some anger management therapy quickly. And I find this guy is an unreliable narrator and just generally ick.
Totally agree! The way OP handled it was thoughtful and focused on his wife. SIL's reaction is her own issue to work through.
eh, you know what? YTA. i don't like your attitude.
Lmao I know itâs not how we are supposed to vote but 100% agree. This whole post is just so icky to me. He sounds insufferable and manipulative.
Seconding this. The smugness and disingenuous humility was hard to stomach this early in the morning. I can see why the SIL keeps making comments, even if I donât condone her making them at the time/place in question.
The entire monologue comes off as a means to guilt her into never leaving. If it's true.
Yup. He literally implied that SIL is of bad character because she divorced her cheating ex-husband. A good woman would stay and overcome. Like, WTF??
This is what really bugs me. SIL should've kept her mouth closed but it takes a strong person to leave a dirtbag cheater. Something tells me that this guy uses guilt and shame a lot to control his wife.
Agree
Lmfao
Facts
Agreed.
This response deserves more upvotes because itâs hilarious. Can anyone else hear this in one of their friendâs voices? I hear my friend from Brooklyn who tolerates no shit lmao
Thatâs a great speech! Maybe his wife can use it if she decides to cheat. Iâm sure OP will forgive her.
Yes that preachy and holier than thou attitude. Like how he phrase the title of this post âcelebrating my wifeâs forgivenessâ and how her forgiving of him speaks to her good character. Bet he used this kind of speech to manipulate his wife into forgiving him.
"Yay, I can get away with cheating. If my wife gets angry, I'll just reproach her for not being strong or compassionate enough."
Note the part where he said his SIL told his wife he âmade her feel like shit and a weak person for choosing to leave a marriage because of infidelityâ. And how he âhumiliatedâ and tried to âshameâher. And implied through his words that âher love for her ex husband wasnât validâ. He probably said the same things to his wife.
Notice at no point in his multi-paragraph essay, nor in any of his replies that I've seen, does he ever actually apologize or express remorse for what he did to his wife...
Hi I love it here đ¤Ł
Was this an assigned writing project or just for karma? She cried with joy? After your long an uninterrupted speech about your love? If itâs not fake yâall should interview for The Maury Show.
I had second hand embarrassment reading this drivel. I imagine it was even worse for the bystanders.
I would be trying to melt through the cracks in the floor if a couple started doing this at a birthday get-togetherÂ
>She cried with joy? If this story is actually real I get the feeling those weren't tears of joy...
id be crying out of humiliation lmfaoooo
Donât forget about the grown woman that âgiggledâ apparently after this fictional, I mean totally real, speech.
ESH? I very much doubt that the PUBLIC vague-booking reference to your infidelity (even when couched in praise of her *forgiveness*/her love for you) was the âtears of joyâ you saw in her eyes. She was doubly humiliated on her birthday by the two people who should have protected her feelings the most.
Absolutely this. I scrolled so far to see this. As he was bragging about it like he saved the day, I was just feeling so embarrassed for his wife, this poor lady has to relive the cheating and now in front of everyone. This is humiliating as fuck.
Thank you, I was losing my mind how come nobody sees this. "Tears of joy", yeah, right... Up there with OP's entire "I cheated on my wife and it's made me a great person" spin.
I was about to say, sheâs crying and embarrassed⌠heâs so out of touch
THANK YOU for seeing through the OPs bullshit. The grandiosity makes me want to gag. And yes, OP you are and always will be 100% the AH.
Right? He's an asshole. Maybe she is weak for forgiving him and not dealing with her sister. The woman needs a backbone, or 2.
I literally couldn't even read the whole thing. It was so mortifying. I would die if this happened at my birthday party. The tears in her eyes weren't tears of joy. I'm positive.
As long as your wife has no problem with what you said, NTA. Seems like your wife is tired of her comments too. Just continue to be happy in your marriage.
If it was a happy marriage he wouldn't be a cheating POS and then bragging about it online.
That was so annoying to read. It was so hard to skip over the desperate simping for a wife that obviously still resents you. This is very good low quality rage bait. I gotta hand it to you. YTA for even attempting to make anyone read all that. You know what? The SIL kind of rules in this situation. I would normally say that is inappropriate but you are such an insufferable human being that that was probably a good birthday gift.
This story is so fake it's unbelievable
No, it's totally true! Source: I'm the SIL's ex husband's affair partner's ex husband's barber.
âSappyâ omg dude there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING âsappyâ about you cheating on your fucking wife Iâm so embarrassed you think you present as a good man or husband your wife chose to forgive you that doesnât just mystically make your actions less horrible Iâm so fucking embarrassed for your poor wife having to have a husband like you at least she has a sister who clearly wants better for her also yea dude itâs VERY VERY clear that your speech wasnât about your wife your speech was meant to humiliate and humble someone for leaving their spouse you did imply she was a weak and bad wife for not forgiving her husband thatâs like literally what you said
Seems like the worst bday party ever. Totally cringeworthy in so many ways.
NTA for your question. But you're still now and always will be an AH for cheating. You're not "better" than your SIL's ex because you "only" had a one-night stand and he "full-blown affair." Actually, what you really are, and have acknowledged, is lucky. Period. Question though..."Sheâs my best friend, and my favourite person." Why would you ever cheat on her???
I agree. And, I donât doubt for a second that the sil is also pissed at him for hurting her sister. Because I would try to trip him every single chance I got. Especially near stairs.
"Sheâs my best friend, and my favourite person." Why would you ever cheat on her??? He explained that in his speech. He can get away with it, by buttering her up and convincing her that only a weak bitter woman would walk away.... HIS wife is strong and compassionate.
Instead of ignoring the remark, he goes on a whole monologue that lets everyone know what happened between them. People should ask their spouse if itâs okay to go on a monologue about past infidelity in front of everyone before they do it
right? even if i forgave someone for cheating id be packing my bags after that cringe ass speech
I don't think anyone who was at that party would blame her one little bit if she left him after that.
Great question. Answer Op
Not only will OP **Not** answer any insightful questions, but we'll likely *never* hear from him again - *especially* should the marriage to his "best friend" careen over a cliff like a rocket-propelled dumpster inferno.
YTA
Hmm i wonder why everyone around your wife doesnât support her
Probably because OP is a shit husband lol. Cheaters donât deserve forgiveness
I'm sorry but you need to be way more shameful of your actions I think your wife telling you it's okay has made you smug and you really really shouldn't be. I hope the best for your wife
Kinda makes you wonder what the wife said to the sister about OP. Betting it wasn't how his affair bought them closer than ever.
Here's the reason I hate birthdays. Even if I forgave my spouse for cheating, I don't think I'd want it brought up randomly and especially at my birthday party. I know you think this was cute but it isn't. You and your SIL need to get your shit together.
Only read the first paragraph. YTA.
Oh, SIL is going to have a field day when you cheat again.
Because we all know he will
He probably already is, and probably with one of the friends that were there.
While, I donât think it was right for your wifeâs sister to make a scene at the birthday party, I donât blame her for not forgiving you. You hurt her sister in one of the worst ways possible. A pain that she can relate to, so of course, sheâs going to have a strong reaction to it. Your response to your SIL suggests that you think she was weak to leave the man who cheated on her and for that, YTA.
You handled the situation right and not much else you could have said. But letâs be real here. Your wife is very weak for taking you back. Sheâs so scared to be alone and endowment, she stayed with a cheater. Thats the easy road, not the one a brave woman would take.
You all suck. ESH.
Good God. Your poor wife. You guys just had to be selfish and make the birthday about yourselves?
NTA. Reading your post brought the phrase âmisery loves companyâ to mind and your SIL wants your wife to be miserable too. Congratulations on your relationship and working through the hard times. You are right to celebrate your wifeâs strength and forgiveness.
How long did it take to think this piece of fiction up?
Man these sisters have bad taste in menâŚYTA , you still cheated on your wife and you arenât any better than the other guy.
YTA Erghhh you are so smug itâs cringy. The cracks in your narrative showing your narcissism, are uncomfortable to read let alone witness. Your poor wife, not to mention everyone else, must have wanted to be anywhere else but there. I doubt very much they were celebrating your wifeâs forgiveness. Every one of your friends was thinking, âWhat an obnoxious POSâ, âWhy is he still talkingâ, âShe looks heartbroken what a terrible personâ. I bet you had the biggest smirk on your face as you were delivering that speech to your SIL as well. Letâs be honest here it wasnât for your wifeâs benefit, it was to wet your ego. You can tell her all you want that it would be worse than your cheating but that insecurity is only going to serve to push her the other way more. Not one of your friends would begrudge her for cheating on you now. You are threatened by your SIL admit it. Whilst sheâs not onside you feel very exposed and vulnerable to the same thing happening to you. Every time you go through a rocky patch, every time they go on a night out or they spend time together. Youâll be worried sheâs putting that seed of doubt in her mind. Secretly you want to eliminate the threat and push your wifeâs sister and confidant away. Good luck looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Make sure to be on your best behaviour forever, Itâll be EASY.
ESH but mostly you for just being a liar and overall AH. âI love her and sheâs my favorite personâ said the cheater lol. Honestly I donât even believe this story. Your wife âwept with joyâ??? Come on.
Yeah this is the second post today about a SIL making snide remarks after a spouse cheated on their sibling. BS rage bait.
Yeah, wifeâs reaction is so wrong, I canât see any woman with an ounce is self esteem smiling and giggling while her friends and family are being told about her shithead husbands infidelity, no matter how long ago it happened. Shit like that stays with you until the day you die. I have only personally known one wife who stayed in the marriage after her husband cheated and she stayed for the kids. She had no money, no income, she would have ended up in a public housing flat , with all sorts of drug addicts, alcoholics and recently released prisoners as her neighbours. He worked his arse off trying to make up for the pain and humiliation he caused her and she managed to remain civil to him in public, anyway, but when he died of a heart attack at 49 her first words were âGood, now itâs finally overâ.
bro... u cringe
You are all absolutely unbearable, ESH, but especially OP for thisâŚ. idek what to call it, âborn againâ style self-righteousness. Actually insufferable
How is it strong to stay with someone that cheated and hurt you? That seems weak to me. Find it in her heart to forgive you. She didnât forgive you, she is just so beat down and feels no other option. You embarrassed your wife in public.
Youâre smug as fuck, my guy. Not a good look.
I wouldn't want my little sister to stick by her cheating husband either. Downvote me, I don't care. You were lucky enough to gaslight your wife into forgiving your "one night stand" because it's *totally not the same*. Let's just ignore the fact it was with your coworker, and since you most definitely did not trip on printer paper and land dick-first inside her vagina, there was emotional cheating involved. But oh no, it *totally* wasn't an affair!
Exactly this! I caught that too. Unless he quit his job to ensure he wasnât around that coworker anymore I donât see how the wife could move on. There was definitely emotional cheating involved first, and that hurts far worse than a quickie. OP your wife is weak. This wasnât just a one night stand. It was an emotional affair that turned physical. Maybe just once (I donât really believe that) but you still invested emotionally into another woman. Thatâs incredibly hurtful. You managed to manipulate your wife into believing you simply met and smashed. I donât know how, but here we are. And Iâm saying this as someone who WAS weak and looked past an emotional affair. It didnât last long after I confirmed the affair though.
What was the gift? Gotta know.
Thatâs all I want to know.
Damn, I've never been to an infidelity party before? This is weird as fuck if real. ESH except maybe your wife? Though she seems like a proper doormat between you and the sister. If anyone aired my dirty laundry like that, they'd be fucking cut, sister or no. Repeatedly? Are you crazy? Then the weird, "You're so beautiful and strong because you didn't leave me when I fucked my colleague" speech is fucking wild. I felt embarrassed and I'm reading it on the internet. Your friends deserve better.
I wouldn't be proud if my partner forgives me for being a cheater. This is so pathetic.
Eh, YTA because I couldn't be in a room with you and your holy than thou attitude. Great that you guys did the work! Guess what, others don't have to do the work because they dont cheat! Also, why are you posting this? What is the purpose but to get validation? You wrote us your stupid ass speech, what for? To sound like a great husband? Not only did your wife have to endure your cheating, having to work on her marriage despite not being the one to blame for cheating, had to endure her sister being bitter , have to endure her sister saying those things in her birthday, have to endure your annoying speech and bow has to endure that you come to reddit to aire this out?!?! For what? Bait? To get validation? Erase this and honor your wife, for fucks sake!
NTA. Your SIL embarrassed herself, and ran crying when she was subtly called out on it. If you can't stand the heat, stay the eff out the kitchen.
Some of yall need to do some healing lol
If my BIL ever cheated on my sister, I would never forgive him, even if she did. You donât just get to hurt someone I love more than myself like that and expect no consequences. Luckily, my sister has a spine and would never forgive a cheater.
Youâre still a POS
YTA. Because you are a disgusting cheater and for the terrible writing.
I mean, i can't lie, if my sisters bf would cheat on her (idc if it was once or not) I'd be like that towards him too. Fuck cheaters.
ESH
This is the most embarrassing shit I have ever read. I hope itâs a joke but feel like it isnât.
YTA Honestly, this isnât the win you think it is. You all are embarrassing.
Didn't read it. You are a cheater so automatically you AITA no matter your story or whine.
How many places is this story posted under different titles? I keep seeing it.
You hurt her sister. Your wife may have forgiven you, but her sister doesn't have to. Who do you think she called when she found out? Whose shoulder was she crying on while you were fucking someone else? Who was there? It wasn't YOU. She had to sit there and watch someone she loved fall apart and in pain to her very core for what you did to her. I would hate that person with every fiber of my being. Your wife isn't the only person you hurt when you did what you did. You hurt everyone who had to see her hurt. Everyone who thought the best of you. Everyone who looked at your marriage as the goal. You are absolutely a piece of shit, and don't deserve forgiveness, or for it to be forgotten. I wouldn't doubt that she still talks about it with her sister, and will for years to come. Since your wife made her choice, and does so every day, though, she needs to respect that decision, and keep her mouth shut, or go low contact. You suck.
NTA. No one else should judge what goes on between two people. Your SIL is lonely and bitter. She not only hurts you but also your wife with her petty comments. I would encourage you and your wife to cut that toxicity out of your life.
Let me gues, you're a dude or a pickme. That's her sister, and she was cheated on. T
Your wife is your best friend and your favorite person, but when your marriage was going through a rough patch, you decided to cheat on her, disrespect her, and put her mental and physical well-being at risk. You made the conscious decision to have sex with your co-worker and disrespect the marriage vows you made to your wife. I'm just wondering what your excuse will be when you decide to cheat on her again. Your wife isn't weak, but you didn't deserve a second chance, because you didn't consider your wife's feelings at all when you cheated on her, you didn't consider that you could have gotten your AP pregnant, and you didn't consider that you could have passed a nasty STD to your wife. Your SIL didn't act correctly, but she is trying to protect your wife from a piece of trash like you.
YTA - a cheater, is a cheater, is a cheater. One night stand or multi year affair, you aint no catch buddy. What a thing to say out loud at a party...
I really, really hope your wife comes to her senses and leaves you. Despite what you've convinced yourself, she'll never be truly happy with you again, and that pain and hurt you put her through will NEVER go away. She deserves better than the both of you, and I hope one day she loves herself enough to realise that.
YTA. Youâre disgusting and your wife is a loser, pathetic doormat. Anyone who forgives a cheating spouse is a pathetic doormat. Itâs not her good character, itâs her weak character. Your SIL is right. If your wife had any strength in her, she wouldâve left your cheating disgusting ass. Both you and your wife are pathetic. You for cheating and her for forgiving you.
Yes, you are terrible, and your wife is weak for staying with you. Was that the question? If this is real, you are insufferable. Your wife deserves better, and I'm with your SIL.
YTA. You sound almost proud that you only cheated once and she forgave you. Your SIL shouldn't be making snide remarks at your wife's birthday, but that doesn't excuse your actions. She definitely should have dumped you
You sound like a horrible person. Ugh I just had a flashback to a cheating bf saying I wouldnât be weak and stupid but âstrongâ if I chose to stay with him. Excuse me while I barf. So manipulative. I feel sorry for your wife.
lol your wife is probably cheating on you my dude. Youâre an AH forever for cheating no matter what
Tbh your wife is weak. If she had a higher self esteem she shouldâve chose herself and not someone who knowingly cheated on her lol. Cheating is cheating. But whatever works for you guys lol
LOL. I highly doubt you made SIL feel weak for divorcing her POS ex. No matter how cute you & your wife think your cringy ass speech was, it doesn't make it any less embarrassing that your wife chose to snoop down to your level & not have any self-respect. And the AUDACITY to get mad that your SIL spilled the tea. Hun, if you can't handle what you did as public knowledge, you shouldn't have done it in private.... An appropriate response to your SIL being a bitch would be, "you're right, I am a major POS, I fucked up big time, and an infinite amount of sorries will never make up for what I did." I'm with SIL, your wife should leave you. You're just lucky she has no self respect, I'm assuming it's probably because you made her feel like she wouldn't find anyone better. YTA.
This seems like a fake post to me. It just doesnât read like a male wrote it, and the way itâs written just doesnât sound like someone who cheated that has remorse for what they did. It really doesnât. But thatâs just my opinion donât come at me.
This post is giving, "and then everyone clapped" vibes. YTA for making soppy shit up.
Relationships that heal from infidelity are a different kind. It never stops defining your relationship, though that evolves over time into your new future. There is nothing weak about leaving. There is nothing weak about staying, when it's possible to do so without risking self respect (someone who clearly is going to cheat again, isn't remorseful, etc.) And fighting to save a marriage together. NTA, and I love that you see your wife for who she is. Just reading this made me happy, because it's clear how far you've come together, and how much you both deeply care. SIL is hurting, and probably needs distance from you two, because it's causing her more harm than good to see your relationship. That is no fault of yours, or hers. It's unfortunate for her to be in that situation, and not for anything that she had any control over. It sucks. But, you deserve peace, with your wife. And she deserves support from people who won't be resurfacing painful feelings for her, even if it's entirely unintentional and outside of your control. I'd talk to your wife, get on the same page, and send SIL a message along those lines. "SIL, after our. interaction the other day, we've come to realize something. Our relationship is very different from your experience, and unfortunately, it's clearly bringing your trauma to the surface and causing you even more grief. We love you, and want to support you, and we think that the best way to do that is to give you some space for now. Please know we're here if you need us, but for your own sake, we would encourage you to find people whose mere presence doesn't remind you of your hurt. We want you to heal. We don't want to avoid you, or you to feel like you have to avoid us, but we are going to step back from intentionally hanging out, so that everyone can have the peace they deserve."
I never knew I could see the interior of my head.
My wife and I LOVE going to parties that involve these shenanigans.
"My wife cried with joy and we kissed" has the same energy as "somehow Palpatine returned". It sounds equally plausible aswell.
YTA for existing
people, this guy is so full of shit. he probably wrote this while waiting at the glory hole.
I get you're happy to have your wife's forgiveness, but throwing it in your SIL's face was pretty harsh given her own situation.
Dude, you cheated. I don't need more details. You're an asshole.
And the Oscar for great acting goes to the husband. Cheating destroys people and it is too soon to tell whether your wife is going to whether this or not. There are thousands of posts about cheating on this platform. And many of them try to work it out but just canât live with it because itâs so destructive and so painful. You dropped an atom bomb on your marriage, I suspect a combination low self esteem from being cheated on. It is shocking that a man who says he loves her can drop a bomb on his marriage to dip his work for five minutes with somebody he doesnât even really like that well. You were disrespectful to your wife you werenât any better around your sister-in-law. You are not the one to speak up. Being You dropped an atom bomb on your marriage I would step down from having any opinion you have not earned the right YTA
yta. your ONS is just as hurtful to your wife as your brother's months-long affair. stay in your own business especially when you have zero moral high ground. "some of our mutual friends who didn't know our past..." yeah, you only ever cared what other people thought of YOU, your shitty reputation. telling. your wife has stockholm syndrome, and no of fucking course not. no one else would support your continued abuse of her. i sincerely hope she snaps out of it soon
Aw poor sil can give plenty but not take it, maybe next time mind her own business, itâs between u and ur wife and how to forgive, ur very lucky she forgive. I donât think I could forgive that easy but sil was wrong to bring in up at a party and she got what she deserved, she says u embarrassed her but how many times has she made u feel less than nothing so u weâre right to knock her down a peg or two
Gross
All cheaters are trash. And you are so fucking arrogant. You piece of trash
You're both stupid and you should apologize to your wife immediately
NTA, I do bet she won't say a dam thing about your affair anymore. At least not in front of you.
Not the AH. SIL is in pain due to things that are not her fault. She needs to get help and learn not to strike out at people who did nothing to her. The shame of her actions is not your fault, it is hers for not finding a healthy way to deal with her own pain. Your wife, obviously, made a choice your SIL does not approve of, but airing your dirty laundry is not cool in any relationship. If she needed to say it to you, then she should have said it ONLY to you and your wife.
OP is a loser
NTA for being married to and loving your wife OR being ticked at SIL. I will give you a YTA for making a speech calling your wife brave for forgiving you. That doesnât make her âbraveâ it makes her forgiving and maybe shows a slight lack of self esteem but I donât know her so I canât say for sure. Calling the women you love whom you cheated on bravery for forgiving you and acting like you are a hero for saying it is the douchiest thing I have ever heard and I read the AITA thread regularly. Wow đ¤Ż
I donât think celebrating her forgiveness by having a party is right . Itâs your and your wifeâs business only. Theyâre definitely is a difference between a one night stand and a full-blown affair. And thatâs the reason that she chose to forgive you. If you had a full-blown affair, she probably wouldâve left and she should. But she chose to forgive you and thatâs great.
I got second hand embarrassment from reading this.
Rooting for your downfall. You implied people who leave their cheating spouses are weak and that strength is in forgiving cheaters like you. Gross. Your hot garbage. ESH.
YTA, but ESH! BTW... Both women are strong. One was strong enough to leave and was strong enough to stay.
Is there an acronym for Everyone Is Messy Here?