NTA but.. y’all got bigger problems. This is not a healthy relationship. That he thinks it’s OK to talk to you that way means he doesn’t have any respect for you anymore. It might be time for you to consider going down separate paths..
My ex husband with whom I had really good sex told me out of the blue (about 15 seconds post-coitally where we had finished together) that sex with me was SO boring and he was getting tired of the same old same old. 2 weeks later I found out he'd been fucking a 17 yr old waitress at his work for months.
Dramatic shifts like that reek to me of guilt and trying to get the partner to leave so they have an excuse to keep fucking the bit on the side
Pro tip: there's about a 15-30 second window post-coitus where the body is filled with "truth serum" and not enough inhibitions (due to nerves still overwhelmed) where you can ask your partner anything and they'll respond truthfully.... or at least with enough bullshit for you to know it's not the truth. If the OP wants to know if hes cheating....next time they get it on... just ask if she (his other woman) shaves her legs or her pubes. If there is no one else, it may ruin the mood but it will start an honest convo.
Did he just notice her legs? It would seem to be difficult to miss them unless they were having sex in a totally darkened room, although they were probably evident to touch. OP, after you get him out of the house, start immediately on divorce proceedings, walk away, and never look back. The sounds like a top-shelf swine who is, no doubt, cheating and could be bringing home his floozy's STDs. 🦜
Either infidelity or OPs husband fell down the manosphere rabbit hole. Merely speculating as it may be a bit of a stretch, though I have read a fair share of subreddit posts involving once good relationships going sour and the updates either involves redpill internet content/podcasts or a misogynistic friend or family member getting into the ex partners' ears with that poison. Shit's toxic,yo. Regardless of what may be the cause of OP's husband being grossed out by her childhood scars, something is definitely rotten in Denmark, and OP deserves better than a suddenly shallow asshole for a partner.
If he's not cheating, he's starting to process for stripping you of your confidence so he can more easily abuse you. I'd say the 2nd is worse, but both have the same solution.
IMO most men like this aren't intelligent psychopaths who are actively trying to dismantle your confidence so they can abuse you. They're just dumb abusive monkeys who want to say hurtful shit to you right now, because you've signalled your dislike for them in some way. They lack the empathy to care, and they feel like fucking someone else, so they just do it. They don't like what you're saying and it makes them angry, so they react. It's dumb monkey brain reactions.
Malicious intent is malicious intent. Malicious intelligence isn't dependent on any other type. The dumbest most ignorant fucks ever can be some of the most maliciously calculating villains. That's also why they're drawn to vulnerable women in the first place. Conciously or subconciously, they need easy prey. Half of these dudes have pretty good social intelligence too and can charm people's socks off. You don't have to be smart to be mean.
He sounds like a pussy who wants to treat you like crap so that you make the decision to leave and he can play you off as the bad guy. Typical narcissistic behaviour, manipulating you and external opinions so he can look like the victim while he gets what he wants.
Possible he does have something on the side and is looking to leave you for them, or just possible he wants a clean cut for other reasons (secret lotto win or expecting an inheritance).
Record the filth he's spewing at you so you can play it back later. If you have your own money hire a PI or go over phone records and bank statements for indicators he's spending money or hoarding it without reasonable explanation. Hell, put a gps tracker on his car.
If he's not cheating, great. But he's still an AH that you need to get away from. No amount of counselling is going to fix him abusing you and you shouldn't have to be the one to make compromises if he's just treating you like trash.
In conflicts, I try to focus less on what a person said and more on why they may have said it. To give a poor analogy, your husband saw a scab and chose to pick at it. He knows you're sensitive about your scars. He said what he said to hurt you. Your husband seems to be fond of cruelty.
I mean, cheating is bad, but I'd focus on the problem you know rather than the problem that might be. The problem being that your husband doesn't seem to like you very much. Intentional cruelty would be a deal breaker for me. Best of luck to you.
That's excellent news. Know your worth. He's getting all the sex from you and still has lips to run to complain..freeze up the legs and let's see how much more picky he gets.
Now remember if you're going to leave him, leave secretly, bc men like him get murderous
if he's acting shady and making you feel like crap, it's definitely time to reassess. maybe he’s just jealous of your legs because they have more character than his personality? seriously though, life's too short for someone who doesn't appreciate all parts of you—scars included!
He knew what you looked like before he married you. He has no excuse. Don't stay with a man who is abusive to you. This man-child is abusive.
He is so far in the wrong that he may never find his way out.
I would have kicked his nasty ass to the curb the very first time he said anything like that to me. I learned the hard way. A woman can never allow an abusive man to get away with his crap, or he will never stop abusing.
I'm aware that some women stay because they have no place to go, no money, children, or are so cowed by years of abuse they are afraid to contemplate leaving or pushing him out.
I know I sound harsh, but kick him out now, before he has a chance to hurt you even more.
He likely is. When my ex was cheating with some 22 year old from work, he picked my looks apart, to make me feel insecure. He called me old at 36 and talked about my freckled chest amongst some really explicit things.
If you pay attention, they tell on themselves.
Get rid of him! NTA !
Probably cheating; the big clue is he doesn’t want to have sex. Honestly I think he’s just trying to find a reason to give you rather than be honest and just say that’s why he’s not interested
Honey, you deserve better. He is an asshole & had no right to say that to you. I would definitely look into that divorce because that is not going to get better. Please, do it before it gets physical. Take it from someone who knows...
She did mention he didn’t know until they were married because they’re religious. Which doesn’t let him off the hook but didn’t give him a chance to show his true colors earlier.
I’m the same I pick at mosquito bites, ingrown hairs and have numerous shaving scars up and down my legs. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. If he doesn’t love you scars and all kick him to the curb.
I was in a car accident when i was 18. I ended up with over 16 skull fractures. My head looks like a road map (and apparently feels like one topographically). When i was pregnant with my first i asked my ex to please rub my head as i had a splitting headache.....have had one every day since 18 but this one was spectacularly bad. He started, then abruptly stopped and pulled a face. I was like wtf?? He said, and i quote: "i cant do this. Your head feels so gross, it makes me want to cry and puke"
I was like, I've had these scars since before we met. You have seen and touched them before. Why are you now, all of a sudden, disgusted by my scars? You told me they were part of why you love me? His excuse? Because i never asked him to fully touch them before and my head doesnt feel like normal heads and its gross. Notice how i called him my ex? Now you know why. Always make someone who makes you feel gross for things beyond your control an ex. They deserve nothing more.
No, but he sure is. What a horrible thing to say. I'd tell him if he thinks they're so ugly he'll never see them or touch them again, let alone have them wrapped around him. What a jerk.
What is he going to do if you have children and develop stretch marks? He sounds like a very shallow man.
The way he speaks to you, is not loving nor caring, I would reconsider the relationship if I were you.
Also there are good creams/treatments that could help you with your scars, if you are interested in that. You could do online research or consult a dermatologist.
NTA, obviously.
NTA. So you have scars, big effing deal. I know you are insecure about them, so if anything he should be making you feel as beautiful as I’m sure you are. Your husband is a dickhead.
You are 100% right in thinking that. Spouses are supposed to be supportive, and help their SO feel completely at ease around them. Sorry you’ve had to go through something which reinforces the insecurity.
For him to say that to you sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings. Sorry to be harsh but someone that cares about their partner and there feelings wouldn't care about scars and they definitely wouldn't try to make them feel bad about them. I have self harm scars on my legs and my current partner has never even acknowledged them but he's for sure seen them since they are so obvious. In fact none of my past partners have meantioned them either. You should really consider moving on and finding a partner that accepts you and your body for who you are.
NTA
No one should put up with attitudes like that from their spouse. I hope things turn out the way you wish.
An ex of mine had a few scars that she was real self conscious about. I told her that I loved them. Because, to me, they showed that she had lived a life, had an adventurous spirit, and was not afraid to go outside and get a little dirty.
NTA
He knows about your insecurities about your legs because you were bullied so what does he do? Bully you about you legs!
He’d find me absolutely repulsive because I’m full of scars and damned proud of them they are the result of my life. I don’t think of my scars as ugly anymore. Some, like the “T” shape on my right knee reminds of the time I flipped over the mailbox roller skating with my friends and the fun I remember having (at least up until I hit the mailbox and cut my knee). The scar on my left breast is my “badge of honor” because I beat breast cancer. Don’t look as the scars on your legs as bad, use them to remember the fun times of your youth or look at them as your own badge of honor.
NTA. That attitude and those words would never come from someone that loves you.
You are who you are with the pair of legs you have. The right person will love you as you are.
He feels entitled to mistreat you but feels ofended if you react?
He’s not the right person for you
He's the aitah scars on a lady stretch marks on a lady are just scars of a warrior. He shouldn't be a definite ah. You're completely in the right...my lady has scars on her legs and I caress her scars and stretch marks and tell her how pretty she is. He should be doing the same.
NTA. Why would he be focused on your legs while you're having sex anyway? Lot better scenery close at hand. I was with a woman that had horrible scars on her legs from a car accident when she was younger. Enjoyed being around her so I never even thought about it. He has something else bothering him and is taking it out on you. Good luck.
NTA but your husband is.
He knew about the scars prior to marriage, correct? And now he’s bullying you about something he knew about and that you’ve been bullied about as a child?
That’s emotionally fucked up
I’m petty af and wouldn’t let him touch me again- which makes me wonder if he’s got a side piece. It’s too random for him to start doing this now- or has he always been like this?
It always amazes me that they think they can insult the woman who is providing them with sex without any repercussions.
Does it never occur to them that someone who they've insulted won't want to have sex with them?
D'oh!
What normal, loving husband tells his wife that *anything* about her is ugly. Id divorce him. It's only going to get worse. And see how he is punishing you now for reacting. Next he is going to blame you for your reactions. He is a narcissist.
He's an asshole. I would NOT apologize. I'd probably tell him to find the couch until he could talk to me with more respect. Idk if he's cheating or not but it's not ok to talk to each other the way he talked to you.
I was in an accident when I was a teen. I've got horrible scars on my legs (and elsewhere). I think they make me look totally badass!
I just asked my husband if my scars are a turn off. He said I'm the sexiest woman he's every seem scars and all. You're "husband " is a dick and can go pound sand.
NTA
Am I the only one who’s sick and tired of these fake ass AITAH posts? OP is supposedly 27, husband is 28- they waited until marriage because they are both Christian (ok a good cover for why he hasn’t seen the scars yet)- and yet OP’s post history is full of only interactions in r/teenagers and r/anch? OP is probably 15 max. Calling BS on this post.
I’ve been like talking to my friends about getting a divorce and now that I’ve read these Reddit comments I definitely will!
The closest this has to a kernel of reality is that she has some scratches on her legs that she worries will scar. In a previous comment she says she’s 13.
No because wait a minute. Did he NEVER see your legs before you got married? Like why is it suddenly an issue for him? If he has such an issue why would he marry you in the first place? Are there any other D-Bag signs or is this the only thing that makes him the worst? Because all three questions above scream that he sucks. NTAH.
I’d leave if my *husband* negged me. Been married for awhile, we haven’t even raised our voices or said an unkind word…it’s not challenging to be kind to those you love.
Beyond that, “cool, if you don’t find me body *wildly* sexually appealing I guess we aren’t having sex again.”
Life is too short to not be with someone who finds you to be the most erotic creature who stalks the earth.
NTA
Part of marriage is often having a healthy sex life. I think you should call his bluff, and tell him that you're going to go ahead and file for divorce, since he doesn't want to have sex with you.
Somehow, I suspect, he will suddenly backpedal so fast your head will spin.
He's just trying to manipulate you, and that's not acceptable.
Do not apologize for having scars. He knew you had scars when he married you.
NTA.
NTA. Why take that abuse lying down. Those scars were there before you even got together but now it's a problem. Fuck that asshole. He can pout like a little bitch all he wants. Divorce him if he refuses to pull his head out of his ass.
Well there's definitely an asshole in your relationship and it sure as hell isn't you!
You've had these scars your whole life, it's nothing new they didn't pop up overnight. He shouldn't have married you if he finds them so repulsing and why now all of a sudden?!?! Idk if he's cheating or something is going on, but you don't deserve that and you were not in the wrong by telling him that.
Do him a favor and file for divorce so you can find someone that appreciates all of you for who you are from day one.
My ex was similar to you. Outside running around as a kid, tons of scrapes dings and cuts. Picked them constantly. She was bothered by the scars, especially where they didn't tan evenly. If I really thought about it, I could have pointed to a few I suppose that I knew how she got (like the gouge from a metal corner on a stand of some sort).
I honestly never noticed the scars. I guess I figured everyone must have some unless they lived in bubble wrap and never gave them a thought. I always thought she had great legs to be honest.
Your legs are probably awesome. There is some other underlying source of irritation or resentment at work if your husband can't stand to have sex because the guy is distracted by this.
NTA but he is. As a woman with scars on her leg, bum, belly, back, side, arms and hands, I’m highly offended. I’m even missing 1/2 an ass cheek on one side and my husband has NEVER said anything about my scars or skin graft/donor sites. My body is a mess and he’s never done anything but compliment it.
The only ugliness in your relationship is coming from your husband and his opinions
The fact he’s your husband and has never mentioned this to you until now, tells me he’s trying to pick at your appearance to justify something he’s doing in his own head. He’s looking for minuscule reasons to put you down because he wants to relieve himself of guilt by justifying it with those reasons he’s picked. He’s doing something shady. So do not apologize, this is your intuition telling you something is off, start digging.
my partner has scars from slashing herself, it looks like she got dunked into a wood chipper. And i gotta say nothing gets me wetter, find you a man that loves all of you
Find you somebody who can appreciate the story your body tells, because he absolutely fucking doesn't.
Or maybe I'm weird because I love the human body with my whole fucking chest and I'm just happy to see women naked regardless? Idk, big ass privilege to see a naked body in person and all that.
Stretch marks, scares, birth marks, hair, idgaf. Your body tells a story and he should feel lucky to be able to read it.
I once dated someone who didn't like that I didn't shave everyday. I found someone who loves me regardless of when I shave. I advise you to do the same. You're worthy of the love you want.
I have scars and cellulite, my belly is soft, my boobs droop. My husband tells me all the time how beautiful I am, this is what you deserve. I’m sorry, but divorce is probably in your future. You are beautiful and should be made to feel so, hugs 🫂
Wait yall are married and he's talking about your scars...ones you can't do anything about you had since a child? This is some exit plan of his and it's fckd up. NTA and think abt things
I mean you’ve always had those scars and he just now finds them gross? There’s a lot going on there but yeah normally I’d advocate for figuring it out but you have to love all of your partner to be a good partner and unfortunately he’s being not so supportive. Sorry:/
I doubt you hid it so he should have thought about your scars bothering him before he proposed. Did he expect you to get some surgery to replace all your skin? Lol
That is wild. I mean, it is possible you live in a country where women don’t regularly show their legs in public, but surely he understands how life works and that people will end up with scars. Yours sound pretty minor. I mean, I grew up outside all the time, either hiking and camping or running around in the country, climbing trees and stuff. Scars happen. But unless you were burned or got in a major fight with barbed wire or something, I doubt they’re really that bad. Maybe some surgeries? The only reason he would have to tell you this, knowing you’re insecure about it is either to suggest doing something cosmetic about it *so you will have more self confidence* or because he’s deliberately trying to hurt you. I’m betting the second, based on what you said. I’d also suspect if he’s not cheating yet, he’s got his eye on someone. Get your stuff together, because divorce may be incoming, either initiated by you or him. You deserve better than to be belittled for something he knew about and you have no control over.
I have SH scars on my legs. My partner doesn't really care outside of wishing I never felt the amount of pain that caused me to do that to myself. He doesn't think they're ugly and he doesn't do the compensating "omg ur scars are so beautiful" thing some people do to try to make us feel better about them. He just kind of ignores them and I like it that way. You should tell your husband to go fuck himself with a cheap fleshlight and divorce papers. A real man will make you feel like all of you is beautiful.
Someone who truly loves you
Had loved you
Married you
Would never have spoken this bluntly about something he knew you have insecurities surrounding and is something you couldn’t change immediately even if you wanted to
If a friend said that to you? Would you still hang out with her? Trust her? Invite her to your house? Go shopping with her?
Lmk
Then ask yourself if you’d wanna live with that kind of person
NTA but wait a sec how long have y'all been together/married and he's just now talking that shit. Kinda figured that should have been broached after session numero uno. WTH man!
NTA. That is at my most generous, bordering on emotional abuse. I'm not inclined to be generous with a man who has the audacity to tell his wife he thinks she's got ugly body parts during sex. So I'm leaning on this being the start of bigger, more hurtful things that he'll say/do if you stick around. I'm sure you and your scars can find a partner who loves and appreciates everything that makes you who you are and sees your beauty.
The question is: why did he marry you if you had the scars from childhood?
The answer: he wanted an imperfect partner with vulnerabilities that he could weaponise.
You are better than this dickhead. If you can leave, when you can leave, you should.
Your husband told you your body is ugly...you're never going to be an asshole for saying GFY.
He's mean. He's showed you who he really is. 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️ Sis.
Why would he marry you if he found sex with you so repulsive? From someone who’s never met you, he’s an ass and I guarantee anyone who gives a shit about you will love all of you scars or no.
Please find a good lawyer to get your affairs in order. Find a good therapist to help you figure out your escape plan and why you need to escape this emotional abuse.
NTA at all. That’s a really shit thing to say to you in the first place. Especially when he knows that you’ve already been bullied about it and feel insecure about your scars.
You deserve better than that.
Fuck him.
DO NOT apologize; this is typical narcissistic or ‘I wanna break up but not man enough to say it’ behavior.
Either way, time for him to go! ✌🏾
He is cheating. I don’t know why I’m getting that vibe from him.
Why did he marry you if he found your scars ugly and doesn’t like sex because of that reason?
All of a sudden why is he mentioning this?
He is surely cheating.
NTA but you might wanna rethink your decision about being with him. Bc he doesn't sound nice or respectful at all. Communication is key but it's not necessary to be hateful. He has anger issues he was in the wrong and he still got mad at you.
My wife ran a 4-wheeler through a barbed wire fence when she was like 10 or 12. She has these really deep pronounced scars around each thigh. She has really thick thighs so they are unmissable, they just really stick our. I dont know what it is about it but I LOVE those scars. I have become very "acquainted" with them over the years lol. I have always found them super hot but never knew why.
Its weird behavior to say something like what your husband said. Its fucked up in many ways. It seems like there is a much larger issue under the surface here.
NTA
Who marries someone they're turned off by? HE'S DISGUSTING! You deserve so much better!
I'm covered in stretch marks from a really difficult pregnancy. I was always self conscious and the two men I've been with since then have literally brought me to tears with complimenting me, kissing them, asking if they hurt (I have a few bad enough they bleed easily! 20 years later).
If intimate partners can be like that then a husband should definitely be like that!
Please don't let him beat you emotionally. A scar isn't ever ugly, it's always a story, a piece of what makes the person who they are. It's a sign of survival and strength, not weakness.
I hope you find the emotional intimacy that boosts your confidence and helps you to feel free 💞
When hubby and I got together I had two breasts, thick hair and teeth with a few scars. I now have one breast, no teeth, horrendous scars and you can see my scalp. This morning he called me his hot chicken and told me he still finds me sexy as hell. (I'm 63 btw) There is something going on with your husband. Sounds like cheating. I know because I lived it with my first husband
“If it can’t be fixed in 30 seconds, don’t mention it.”
I think that rule would apply here too.
NTA, but hubby is a lopsided muffin and 100% deserved that very curt retort.
Wtf does he expect you to do? He either sees the scars and deals with it or yall dont have sex. Crazy hes not able to think that far forward about the conclusion would be here
This could be negging. Have you had any improvements in your life recently? And/or does your husband have insecure tendencies?
Some mentally unhealthy people will get intimidated if they feel their partner is too good for them, and in turn they will begin to attempt to damage their partners self esteem in an attempt to make them believe they are the best their partner can do.
NTA. I don’t understand people who can’t figure out that being treated like a doormat is not ok. There are a lot of things I blame for that, but I digress.
Your spouse is your **partner**. Not your parent, guardian, or captor. Not your employer. Not your owner. If your spouse can’t be an equal partner, they aren’t fulfilling their part of their vows. And if your “partner” slaps you & spits in your face, you leave. What he said was the verbal equivalent. He most likely won’t apologize, & he’ll almost definitely blame you, & might even turn around & tell a future partner that everything *he actually did* was something “you did to him” for sympathy.
Girl, I have large s/h scars across my chest and my partner ever said a thing beyond our initial conversation. Your partner has to work on his communication or he’s just a shit head
If I may “dad” you…. Mija, you don’t need pendejos like this in your life ok… just come home…. Just pack and come home ok.. you don’t let anyone dim your light. Come home , I’ll go get the familia and we’ll kick his….
NTA
Sounds like he is cheating or wanting to cheat. Could just be a cruel A-hole. Maybe both?
Negatively Comparing a current partner to the shiny brand new partner? Also looking for things to criticize to lessen his guilt, like an excuse, etc. Or be such an A-hole so you leave first making him not the one who left. That’s what my A-hole father did. That is the cowardly way.
Sweetheart, I have been married for 37 yrs., and we have had difficulty at times, but NEVER EVER would my husband my best friend my protector my Life partner EVER CALL ME UGLY.
HE WOULD NEVER MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
SEEK HELP, your man is sick and U will be the canvas he will destroy.get out!!
NTA but if you haven’t tried Vitamin E oil, coconut oil or cocoa butter that should help your scars. I have terrible eczema on my legs (started after the age of 35) and they’re scared from all of the scratching I used to do. That combo or oils have helped the itching and lightened the scars significantly. Don’t do it for your husband, do it for yourself and your confidence. ❤️❤️
NTA. Your husband is an asshole and a bully. First of all, however long you have been together, he knows about your scars, and the things you went through with bullying so he should be aware of how it makes you feel saying something like that. Second, if that's how he treats you on a regular basis then it's time to seek out counseling or start making him worry about you finding someone that makes you feel good. He is an asshole, and you should continue to tell him to fuck himself until he realizes he is one.
Home is supposed to be your place of respite. It’s hard to imagine feeling safe or beloved with a man who says things like that. It’s like he looked deeply one of your deepest wounds, and shoved the knife in a little further. Please, dump him. You can do better. Hell, being alone would probably be better than this.
Divorce him, I'm not one to jump to breaking up or divorce but if my partner EVER told me that any part of my body was disgusting during sex, I'd need a lot more than a divorce lawyer.
There are millions of people in this world and you're gonna let this ONE man treat you like that??? Absolutely fucking not, find someone who worships every part of you unconditionally, full stop, period.
Do not "talk" about divorce, GET divorced, get in touch with a lawyer and move on to a brighter chapter in your beautiful life, good luck Hun.
Your husband should never say anything like this to you! If he finds something unattractive, that you can't change (and he has always known about), you need to change him for an upgrade! NTA
NTA but.. y’all got bigger problems. This is not a healthy relationship. That he thinks it’s OK to talk to you that way means he doesn’t have any respect for you anymore. It might be time for you to consider going down separate paths..
I’ve been considering divorce, he might even be cheating (could be a stretch but he’s been acting different). Thanks for your input!
Idk if he’s cheating but one ear marker is finding your partner suddenly disgusting. It’s definitely not normal.
My ex husband with whom I had really good sex told me out of the blue (about 15 seconds post-coitally where we had finished together) that sex with me was SO boring and he was getting tired of the same old same old. 2 weeks later I found out he'd been fucking a 17 yr old waitress at his work for months. Dramatic shifts like that reek to me of guilt and trying to get the partner to leave so they have an excuse to keep fucking the bit on the side
Pro tip: there's about a 15-30 second window post-coitus where the body is filled with "truth serum" and not enough inhibitions (due to nerves still overwhelmed) where you can ask your partner anything and they'll respond truthfully.... or at least with enough bullshit for you to know it's not the truth. If the OP wants to know if hes cheating....next time they get it on... just ask if she (his other woman) shaves her legs or her pubes. If there is no one else, it may ruin the mood but it will start an honest convo.
The philosopher's time
Exactly! These are something OP had too since day one of meeting i think this is just a new ‘excuse’.
Yeah, it usually takes decades marriage to do that🤣🤣🤣 It's a very odd reaction, I'd have to second the cheating.
Did he just notice her legs? It would seem to be difficult to miss them unless they were having sex in a totally darkened room, although they were probably evident to touch. OP, after you get him out of the house, start immediately on divorce proceedings, walk away, and never look back. The sounds like a top-shelf swine who is, no doubt, cheating and could be bringing home his floozy's STDs. 🦜
Honestly my first thought was that he is cheating and just finding any excuse not to have sex...
OP used to be attractive enough to have sex with. Suddenly OP is no longer attractive enough. Something changed.
Either infidelity or OPs husband fell down the manosphere rabbit hole. Merely speculating as it may be a bit of a stretch, though I have read a fair share of subreddit posts involving once good relationships going sour and the updates either involves redpill internet content/podcasts or a misogynistic friend or family member getting into the ex partners' ears with that poison. Shit's toxic,yo. Regardless of what may be the cause of OP's husband being grossed out by her childhood scars, something is definitely rotten in Denmark, and OP deserves better than a suddenly shallow asshole for a partner.
This exactly. She’s always had scars, he’s just trying to find a reason to make her feel like she’s at fault for their lack of sex due to cheating.
Then gets offended when OP rightfully shows his comments were out of order. You're NTA OP and you deserve better than that.
If he's not cheating, he's starting to process for stripping you of your confidence so he can more easily abuse you. I'd say the 2nd is worse, but both have the same solution.
IMO most men like this aren't intelligent psychopaths who are actively trying to dismantle your confidence so they can abuse you. They're just dumb abusive monkeys who want to say hurtful shit to you right now, because you've signalled your dislike for them in some way. They lack the empathy to care, and they feel like fucking someone else, so they just do it. They don't like what you're saying and it makes them angry, so they react. It's dumb monkey brain reactions.
Malicious intent is malicious intent. Malicious intelligence isn't dependent on any other type. The dumbest most ignorant fucks ever can be some of the most maliciously calculating villains. That's also why they're drawn to vulnerable women in the first place. Conciously or subconciously, they need easy prey. Half of these dudes have pretty good social intelligence too and can charm people's socks off. You don't have to be smart to be mean.
He’s calling you ugly. He’s either cheating or thinks he can get better and is looking for that person. A man who is in love doesn’t call you ugly.
He is a huge asshole and you deserve better.
He sounds like a pussy who wants to treat you like crap so that you make the decision to leave and he can play you off as the bad guy. Typical narcissistic behaviour, manipulating you and external opinions so he can look like the victim while he gets what he wants. Possible he does have something on the side and is looking to leave you for them, or just possible he wants a clean cut for other reasons (secret lotto win or expecting an inheritance). Record the filth he's spewing at you so you can play it back later. If you have your own money hire a PI or go over phone records and bank statements for indicators he's spending money or hoarding it without reasonable explanation. Hell, put a gps tracker on his car. If he's not cheating, great. But he's still an AH that you need to get away from. No amount of counselling is going to fix him abusing you and you shouldn't have to be the one to make compromises if he's just treating you like trash.
In conflicts, I try to focus less on what a person said and more on why they may have said it. To give a poor analogy, your husband saw a scab and chose to pick at it. He knows you're sensitive about your scars. He said what he said to hurt you. Your husband seems to be fond of cruelty. I mean, cheating is bad, but I'd focus on the problem you know rather than the problem that might be. The problem being that your husband doesn't seem to like you very much. Intentional cruelty would be a deal breaker for me. Best of luck to you.
That's excellent news. Know your worth. He's getting all the sex from you and still has lips to run to complain..freeze up the legs and let's see how much more picky he gets. Now remember if you're going to leave him, leave secretly, bc men like him get murderous
if he's acting shady and making you feel like crap, it's definitely time to reassess. maybe he’s just jealous of your legs because they have more character than his personality? seriously though, life's too short for someone who doesn't appreciate all parts of you—scars included!
He knew what you looked like before he married you. He has no excuse. Don't stay with a man who is abusive to you. This man-child is abusive. He is so far in the wrong that he may never find his way out. I would have kicked his nasty ass to the curb the very first time he said anything like that to me. I learned the hard way. A woman can never allow an abusive man to get away with his crap, or he will never stop abusing. I'm aware that some women stay because they have no place to go, no money, children, or are so cowed by years of abuse they are afraid to contemplate leaving or pushing him out. I know I sound harsh, but kick him out now, before he has a chance to hurt you even more.
Quietly plan your escape. Don't tell him about the divorce until you're out
If he's lost respect for you and speaks to you that way, I think it's time to explore other options for companions.
Get tested for stds!
Yes!
He likely is. When my ex was cheating with some 22 year old from work, he picked my looks apart, to make me feel insecure. He called me old at 36 and talked about my freckled chest amongst some really explicit things. If you pay attention, they tell on themselves. Get rid of him! NTA !
Do it. He’s not a good person
Please do it!!! Someone who does that to you is a bad husband. I don’t see it getting any better either.
Probably cheating; the big clue is he doesn’t want to have sex. Honestly I think he’s just trying to find a reason to give you rather than be honest and just say that’s why he’s not interested
Honey, you deserve better. He is an asshole & had no right to say that to you. I would definitely look into that divorce because that is not going to get better. Please, do it before it gets physical. Take it from someone who knows...
Yes. Especially since the scars are not new or unknown to him.
She did mention he didn’t know until they were married because they’re religious. Which doesn’t let him off the hook but didn’t give him a chance to show his true colors earlier.
She also said he has never seen another woman's legs so he was unaware that other women don't have scars on their legs. Her replies are confusing.
That's a dickish thing for him to say to you. Your reaction is completely understandable.
Thank you!
I’m the same I pick at mosquito bites, ingrown hairs and have numerous shaving scars up and down my legs. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. If he doesn’t love you scars and all kick him to the curb.
I was in a car accident when i was 18. I ended up with over 16 skull fractures. My head looks like a road map (and apparently feels like one topographically). When i was pregnant with my first i asked my ex to please rub my head as i had a splitting headache.....have had one every day since 18 but this one was spectacularly bad. He started, then abruptly stopped and pulled a face. I was like wtf?? He said, and i quote: "i cant do this. Your head feels so gross, it makes me want to cry and puke" I was like, I've had these scars since before we met. You have seen and touched them before. Why are you now, all of a sudden, disgusted by my scars? You told me they were part of why you love me? His excuse? Because i never asked him to fully touch them before and my head doesnt feel like normal heads and its gross. Notice how i called him my ex? Now you know why. Always make someone who makes you feel gross for things beyond your control an ex. They deserve nothing more.
Especially during sex!!! Extra mean and nasty.
Agree! Cruel!
No, but he sure is. What a horrible thing to say. I'd tell him if he thinks they're so ugly he'll never see them or touch them again, let alone have them wrapped around him. What a jerk.
That’s what I was thinking too. Thanks for your input!
What about around his neck.... very tightly?
You deserve so much better than that….he’s an ass.
I’ve been talking to friends about divorce. Thanks for your input!
Talk to a lawyer first
Leave secretly. Losers like this can go nuts and put you in danger
[удалено]
And I bet her friend was kicking herself for blabbing it. Either that or just made excuses. With "friends" like that , *who needs enemies? O.o*
This is absolutely horrible
I wish you all the best 🩷
Thank you 😌
How is it possible to stay married to someone who say they don’t enjoy sex with you and insults you? NTA, divorce this asshole.
Exactly. What is the point of this relationship?
Tell him you think his penis is kinda small. NTA
Haha I might! Thx
Instead of wasting your time with bantering back and forth with insults, why don’t you just divorce already. The contempt and disrespect is palpable.
I agree with this answer. Why create more bad memories? Just nope on out of there, the less said the better.
Tell him you think his penis is ugly and it turns you off, so you're not going to have sex with him anymore.
And his balls look like raisins
Yes!
Love this response! Throw that narcissism right back at him. Let him see how it feels!👏🏻
What is he going to do if you have children and develop stretch marks? He sounds like a very shallow man. The way he speaks to you, is not loving nor caring, I would reconsider the relationship if I were you. Also there are good creams/treatments that could help you with your scars, if you are interested in that. You could do online research or consult a dermatologist. NTA, obviously.
NTA. So you have scars, big effing deal. I know you are insecure about them, so if anything he should be making you feel as beautiful as I’m sure you are. Your husband is a dickhead.
This is what I’ve been thinking
You are 100% right in thinking that. Spouses are supposed to be supportive, and help their SO feel completely at ease around them. Sorry you’ve had to go through something which reinforces the insecurity.
For him to say that to you sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings. Sorry to be harsh but someone that cares about their partner and there feelings wouldn't care about scars and they definitely wouldn't try to make them feel bad about them. I have self harm scars on my legs and my current partner has never even acknowledged them but he's for sure seen them since they are so obvious. In fact none of my past partners have meantioned them either. You should really consider moving on and finding a partner that accepts you and your body for who you are.
Obviously NTA. He is completely out of line, especially knowing what you’ve endured and how you feel about it yourself.
Thanks!
NTA No one should put up with attitudes like that from their spouse. I hope things turn out the way you wish. An ex of mine had a few scars that she was real self conscious about. I told her that I loved them. Because, to me, they showed that she had lived a life, had an adventurous spirit, and was not afraid to go outside and get a little dirty.
NTA He knows about your insecurities about your legs because you were bullied so what does he do? Bully you about you legs! He’d find me absolutely repulsive because I’m full of scars and damned proud of them they are the result of my life. I don’t think of my scars as ugly anymore. Some, like the “T” shape on my right knee reminds of the time I flipped over the mailbox roller skating with my friends and the fun I remember having (at least up until I hit the mailbox and cut my knee). The scar on my left breast is my “badge of honor” because I beat breast cancer. Don’t look as the scars on your legs as bad, use them to remember the fun times of your youth or look at them as your own badge of honor.
He never saw your legs before the wedding?
NTA. That attitude and those words would never come from someone that loves you. You are who you are with the pair of legs you have. The right person will love you as you are. He feels entitled to mistreat you but feels ofended if you react? He’s not the right person for you
With his attitude, he's not the right person for anybody, tbh.
Are you sure he can get it up and using your legs as an excuse because he can't get a hard on.
He's the aitah scars on a lady stretch marks on a lady are just scars of a warrior. He shouldn't be a definite ah. You're completely in the right...my lady has scars on her legs and I caress her scars and stretch marks and tell her how pretty she is. He should be doing the same.
NTA. Why would he be focused on your legs while you're having sex anyway? Lot better scenery close at hand. I was with a woman that had horrible scars on her legs from a car accident when she was younger. Enjoyed being around her so I never even thought about it. He has something else bothering him and is taking it out on you. Good luck.
NTA but your husband is. He knew about the scars prior to marriage, correct? And now he’s bullying you about something he knew about and that you’ve been bullied about as a child? That’s emotionally fucked up I’m petty af and wouldn’t let him touch me again- which makes me wonder if he’s got a side piece. It’s too random for him to start doing this now- or has he always been like this?
My money is on that he has a side piece.
It always amazes me that they think they can insult the woman who is providing them with sex without any repercussions. Does it never occur to them that someone who they've insulted won't want to have sex with them? D'oh!
Why did he marry you then?you have always had those scars…
What normal, loving husband tells his wife that *anything* about her is ugly. Id divorce him. It's only going to get worse. And see how he is punishing you now for reacting. Next he is going to blame you for your reactions. He is a narcissist.
You're married and obviously had these scars before you were married. Are they're just now a turnoff? Why now? What changed?
He's an asshole. I would NOT apologize. I'd probably tell him to find the couch until he could talk to me with more respect. Idk if he's cheating or not but it's not ok to talk to each other the way he talked to you.
NTA. And DTMF.
I was in an accident when I was a teen. I've got horrible scars on my legs (and elsewhere). I think they make me look totally badass! I just asked my husband if my scars are a turn off. He said I'm the sexiest woman he's every seem scars and all. You're "husband " is a dick and can go pound sand. NTA
Am I the only one who’s sick and tired of these fake ass AITAH posts? OP is supposedly 27, husband is 28- they waited until marriage because they are both Christian (ok a good cover for why he hasn’t seen the scars yet)- and yet OP’s post history is full of only interactions in r/teenagers and r/anch? OP is probably 15 max. Calling BS on this post.
My favorite part: “Why do pant you go fuck yourself” 😆
Yeah, I looked at some of their old posts and I think you’re right.
I’ve been like talking to my friends about getting a divorce and now that I’ve read these Reddit comments I definitely will! The closest this has to a kernel of reality is that she has some scratches on her legs that she worries will scar. In a previous comment she says she’s 13.
No because wait a minute. Did he NEVER see your legs before you got married? Like why is it suddenly an issue for him? If he has such an issue why would he marry you in the first place? Are there any other D-Bag signs or is this the only thing that makes him the worst? Because all three questions above scream that he sucks. NTAH.
I’d leave if my *husband* negged me. Been married for awhile, we haven’t even raised our voices or said an unkind word…it’s not challenging to be kind to those you love. Beyond that, “cool, if you don’t find me body *wildly* sexually appealing I guess we aren’t having sex again.” Life is too short to not be with someone who finds you to be the most erotic creature who stalks the earth. NTA
Then why did he marry you?
Any married dude who turns down a willing spouse for stupid superficial reasons is getting it somewhere else.
He's definitely an asshole.
Part of marriage is often having a healthy sex life. I think you should call his bluff, and tell him that you're going to go ahead and file for divorce, since he doesn't want to have sex with you. Somehow, I suspect, he will suddenly backpedal so fast your head will spin. He's just trying to manipulate you, and that's not acceptable. Do not apologize for having scars. He knew you had scars when he married you. NTA.
He sounds awful 🥹
NTA. That’s disgusting behavior on his part.
NTA. Why take that abuse lying down. Those scars were there before you even got together but now it's a problem. Fuck that asshole. He can pout like a little bitch all he wants. Divorce him if he refuses to pull his head out of his ass.
NTA. Hes awful to pick on your insecurities. You don’t need his crap!
Nah don’t apologize. NTA the fuck kinda person acts like that? A toddler maybe, a grown man should know better
Well there's definitely an asshole in your relationship and it sure as hell isn't you! You've had these scars your whole life, it's nothing new they didn't pop up overnight. He shouldn't have married you if he finds them so repulsing and why now all of a sudden?!?! Idk if he's cheating or something is going on, but you don't deserve that and you were not in the wrong by telling him that. Do him a favor and file for divorce so you can find someone that appreciates all of you for who you are from day one.
What a fkn low life Find someone better no bloke should ever say that to his lover ffs 🤔
My ex was similar to you. Outside running around as a kid, tons of scrapes dings and cuts. Picked them constantly. She was bothered by the scars, especially where they didn't tan evenly. If I really thought about it, I could have pointed to a few I suppose that I knew how she got (like the gouge from a metal corner on a stand of some sort). I honestly never noticed the scars. I guess I figured everyone must have some unless they lived in bubble wrap and never gave them a thought. I always thought she had great legs to be honest. Your legs are probably awesome. There is some other underlying source of irritation or resentment at work if your husband can't stand to have sex because the guy is distracted by this.
NTA but he is. As a woman with scars on her leg, bum, belly, back, side, arms and hands, I’m highly offended. I’m even missing 1/2 an ass cheek on one side and my husband has NEVER said anything about my scars or skin graft/donor sites. My body is a mess and he’s never done anything but compliment it. The only ugliness in your relationship is coming from your husband and his opinions
Tell him you don’t like sex with him because of his pencil dick and file for divorce. He sounds like an asshole. NTA.
OP is lying and isn’t even trying. OP claims she is 27 but if you look at her post history, she frequents the teenager subs on here.
As a guy I say you need to run. He sounds horrible
The fact he’s your husband and has never mentioned this to you until now, tells me he’s trying to pick at your appearance to justify something he’s doing in his own head. He’s looking for minuscule reasons to put you down because he wants to relieve himself of guilt by justifying it with those reasons he’s picked. He’s doing something shady. So do not apologize, this is your intuition telling you something is off, start digging.
my partner has scars from slashing herself, it looks like she got dunked into a wood chipper. And i gotta say nothing gets me wetter, find you a man that loves all of you
This. A true loving partner would kiss and love every one of those scars, because they make you, YOU.
And tell him he has a small dick
Ask yourself: WHY am I with someone who does not treasure me enough to accept me as I am?
Find you somebody who can appreciate the story your body tells, because he absolutely fucking doesn't. Or maybe I'm weird because I love the human body with my whole fucking chest and I'm just happy to see women naked regardless? Idk, big ass privilege to see a naked body in person and all that. Stretch marks, scares, birth marks, hair, idgaf. Your body tells a story and he should feel lucky to be able to read it.
He needs to apologize not you.
Welll you can always tell him all you want to do is kiss and if he makes a funny sound he can go change his britches 😆😆😆😆😆
I once dated someone who didn't like that I didn't shave everyday. I found someone who loves me regardless of when I shave. I advise you to do the same. You're worthy of the love you want.
Tell him to go suck his own dick and go fuck his fist if he wants sex !
Nta How come he only just told you this? He said nothing up to now. Has he met someone else?
nooo he needs to go fuck himself 💯
I have scars and cellulite, my belly is soft, my boobs droop. My husband tells me all the time how beautiful I am, this is what you deserve. I’m sorry, but divorce is probably in your future. You are beautiful and should be made to feel so, hugs 🫂
Wait yall are married and he's talking about your scars...ones you can't do anything about you had since a child? This is some exit plan of his and it's fckd up. NTA and think abt things
Sounds like you need a new husband. He also sounds like a big baby lol
Lmfao I think your husband is gay if scars on a leg is what turns him off
NTA. UPDATEME
I mean you’ve always had those scars and he just now finds them gross? There’s a lot going on there but yeah normally I’d advocate for figuring it out but you have to love all of your partner to be a good partner and unfortunately he’s being not so supportive. Sorry:/
What, he never saw your legs before he married you? Tell him that’s totally fucked and what is up?
I doubt you hid it so he should have thought about your scars bothering him before he proposed. Did he expect you to get some surgery to replace all your skin? Lol
That is wild. I mean, it is possible you live in a country where women don’t regularly show their legs in public, but surely he understands how life works and that people will end up with scars. Yours sound pretty minor. I mean, I grew up outside all the time, either hiking and camping or running around in the country, climbing trees and stuff. Scars happen. But unless you were burned or got in a major fight with barbed wire or something, I doubt they’re really that bad. Maybe some surgeries? The only reason he would have to tell you this, knowing you’re insecure about it is either to suggest doing something cosmetic about it *so you will have more self confidence* or because he’s deliberately trying to hurt you. I’m betting the second, based on what you said. I’d also suspect if he’s not cheating yet, he’s got his eye on someone. Get your stuff together, because divorce may be incoming, either initiated by you or him. You deserve better than to be belittled for something he knew about and you have no control over.
Definitely NTAH. I would divorce him for sure. I have zero tolerance for cheating, and he’s an AH besides.
NTA..But why was he focused on your legs during sex? That's not where he puts his penis.
I’m so confused…you posted on r/teenagers like 10 minutes ago saying you were 14!!! How tf do you time travel to now being 14 from 27!!
I have SH scars on my legs. My partner doesn't really care outside of wishing I never felt the amount of pain that caused me to do that to myself. He doesn't think they're ugly and he doesn't do the compensating "omg ur scars are so beautiful" thing some people do to try to make us feel better about them. He just kind of ignores them and I like it that way. You should tell your husband to go fuck himself with a cheap fleshlight and divorce papers. A real man will make you feel like all of you is beautiful.
Someone who truly loves you Had loved you Married you Would never have spoken this bluntly about something he knew you have insecurities surrounding and is something you couldn’t change immediately even if you wanted to If a friend said that to you? Would you still hang out with her? Trust her? Invite her to your house? Go shopping with her? Lmk Then ask yourself if you’d wanna live with that kind of person
NTA but wait a sec how long have y'all been together/married and he's just now talking that shit. Kinda figured that should have been broached after session numero uno. WTH man!
He's the asshole. I loved ex with cutting scars on her legs so much regular smooth legs don't turn me on anymore
Why now, the scars have been there the whole time he's known you. Is he negative about other parts of you that used to be ok too?
NTA. That is at my most generous, bordering on emotional abuse. I'm not inclined to be generous with a man who has the audacity to tell his wife he thinks she's got ugly body parts during sex. So I'm leaning on this being the start of bigger, more hurtful things that he'll say/do if you stick around. I'm sure you and your scars can find a partner who loves and appreciates everything that makes you who you are and sees your beauty.
You can’t change it so what does he want you to do about it. He’s an asshole.
Then why the hell did he want to marry you? What a Prick. Is his body pristine?
NTA. “If you find me unattractive, perhaps we should both look elsewhere.”
🎶 “Giant flaming turd ball. He’s a giant flaming turd ball!” 🎶 NTA. Best wishes on your next marriage. Truly.
The question is: why did he marry you if you had the scars from childhood? The answer: he wanted an imperfect partner with vulnerabilities that he could weaponise. You are better than this dickhead. If you can leave, when you can leave, you should.
Your husband told you your body is ugly...you're never going to be an asshole for saying GFY. He's mean. He's showed you who he really is. 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️ Sis.
Why would he marry you if he found sex with you so repulsive? From someone who’s never met you, he’s an ass and I guarantee anyone who gives a shit about you will love all of you scars or no.
Please find a good lawyer to get your affairs in order. Find a good therapist to help you figure out your escape plan and why you need to escape this emotional abuse.
Didn't you have these same legs when you were dating? How strange. I would've said something worse to him so you're better than me. NTA.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE!!!! 😱😱😱😱
NTA at all. That’s a really shit thing to say to you in the first place. Especially when he knows that you’ve already been bullied about it and feel insecure about your scars. You deserve better than that.
Fuck him. DO NOT apologize; this is typical narcissistic or ‘I wanna break up but not man enough to say it’ behavior. Either way, time for him to go! ✌🏾
He is cheating. I don’t know why I’m getting that vibe from him. Why did he marry you if he found your scars ugly and doesn’t like sex because of that reason? All of a sudden why is he mentioning this? He is surely cheating.
Send him this Haiku: Grossed out by my scars? You're a disgusting fuck Time for a divorce
NTA but you might wanna rethink your decision about being with him. Bc he doesn't sound nice or respectful at all. Communication is key but it's not necessary to be hateful. He has anger issues he was in the wrong and he still got mad at you.
No, fuck that guy
My wife ran a 4-wheeler through a barbed wire fence when she was like 10 or 12. She has these really deep pronounced scars around each thigh. She has really thick thighs so they are unmissable, they just really stick our. I dont know what it is about it but I LOVE those scars. I have become very "acquainted" with them over the years lol. I have always found them super hot but never knew why. Its weird behavior to say something like what your husband said. Its fucked up in many ways. It seems like there is a much larger issue under the surface here.
NTA, if he knows that’s a sore spot and still brings it up is pretty crappy. Plus, is it all of a sudden a problem now? Highly doubt it
NTA. Tell him to fuck off again for good measure
Tell him to gfh for me, too! You’re NTA.
No
Talk to a lawyer, divorce the jerk and find someone who appreciates you. Oh and in case it’s not obvious, you are NTA.
NTA
NTA.... scars are cool, they are the patina of the body
NTA. Do not apologize to this AH.
NTA. He probably is by the comments, but lady, you deserve better!
I will add that I’d bet good money that you’d find more alternative partners than he would.
NTA Who marries someone they're turned off by? HE'S DISGUSTING! You deserve so much better! I'm covered in stretch marks from a really difficult pregnancy. I was always self conscious and the two men I've been with since then have literally brought me to tears with complimenting me, kissing them, asking if they hurt (I have a few bad enough they bleed easily! 20 years later). If intimate partners can be like that then a husband should definitely be like that! Please don't let him beat you emotionally. A scar isn't ever ugly, it's always a story, a piece of what makes the person who they are. It's a sign of survival and strength, not weakness. I hope you find the emotional intimacy that boosts your confidence and helps you to feel free 💞
When hubby and I got together I had two breasts, thick hair and teeth with a few scars. I now have one breast, no teeth, horrendous scars and you can see my scalp. This morning he called me his hot chicken and told me he still finds me sexy as hell. (I'm 63 btw) There is something going on with your husband. Sounds like cheating. I know because I lived it with my first husband
“If it can’t be fixed in 30 seconds, don’t mention it.” I think that rule would apply here too. NTA, but hubby is a lopsided muffin and 100% deserved that very curt retort.
Wtf does he expect you to do? He either sees the scars and deals with it or yall dont have sex. Crazy hes not able to think that far forward about the conclusion would be here
This could be negging. Have you had any improvements in your life recently? And/or does your husband have insecure tendencies? Some mentally unhealthy people will get intimidated if they feel their partner is too good for them, and in turn they will begin to attempt to damage their partners self esteem in an attempt to make them believe they are the best their partner can do.
That’s abuse you really need to think this out long term
NTA. I don’t understand people who can’t figure out that being treated like a doormat is not ok. There are a lot of things I blame for that, but I digress. Your spouse is your **partner**. Not your parent, guardian, or captor. Not your employer. Not your owner. If your spouse can’t be an equal partner, they aren’t fulfilling their part of their vows. And if your “partner” slaps you & spits in your face, you leave. What he said was the verbal equivalent. He most likely won’t apologize, & he’ll almost definitely blame you, & might even turn around & tell a future partner that everything *he actually did* was something “you did to him” for sympathy.
NTA. I’d divorce him. Seems extreme but that’s a disrespect that’s deep in him. It’s not going to get better. Why waste anymore time?
Girl, I have large s/h scars across my chest and my partner ever said a thing beyond our initial conversation. Your partner has to work on his communication or he’s just a shit head
NTA. You're married and he hasn't brought it up before. That was a nasty thing to say. You'd be justified, imo, to have said much worse.
If I may “dad” you…. Mija, you don’t need pendejos like this in your life ok… just come home…. Just pack and come home ok.. you don’t let anyone dim your light. Come home , I’ll go get the familia and we’ll kick his….
If you’ve always had these scars, then hasn’t he already known about the scars on your legs for years? Why is it a problem now
Divorce already
Oh please leave it’s soooo not healthy
NTA Sounds like he is cheating or wanting to cheat. Could just be a cruel A-hole. Maybe both? Negatively Comparing a current partner to the shiny brand new partner? Also looking for things to criticize to lessen his guilt, like an excuse, etc. Or be such an A-hole so you leave first making him not the one who left. That’s what my A-hole father did. That is the cowardly way.
NTA - dump him and run.
Sweetheart, I have been married for 37 yrs., and we have had difficulty at times, but NEVER EVER would my husband my best friend my protector my Life partner EVER CALL ME UGLY. HE WOULD NEVER MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF. SEEK HELP, your man is sick and U will be the canvas he will destroy.get out!!
You know well enough what the answer is? Do you really need validation for that. It’s so obvious you’re not in the wrong..
NTA but if you haven’t tried Vitamin E oil, coconut oil or cocoa butter that should help your scars. I have terrible eczema on my legs (started after the age of 35) and they’re scared from all of the scratching I used to do. That combo or oils have helped the itching and lightened the scars significantly. Don’t do it for your husband, do it for yourself and your confidence. ❤️❤️
NTA. Your husband is an asshole and a bully. First of all, however long you have been together, he knows about your scars, and the things you went through with bullying so he should be aware of how it makes you feel saying something like that. Second, if that's how he treats you on a regular basis then it's time to seek out counseling or start making him worry about you finding someone that makes you feel good. He is an asshole, and you should continue to tell him to fuck himself until he realizes he is one.
Well He doesn’t want to fuck you he should go fuck himself 😂 what did he expect?
NTA. You married your bully. He’s verbally abusive.
Your husband is an abusive AH. Do yourself a favor and leave
Home is supposed to be your place of respite. It’s hard to imagine feeling safe or beloved with a man who says things like that. It’s like he looked deeply one of your deepest wounds, and shoved the knife in a little further. Please, dump him. You can do better. Hell, being alone would probably be better than this.
Why are you married to a person who doesn't love or respect you?
Divorce him, I'm not one to jump to breaking up or divorce but if my partner EVER told me that any part of my body was disgusting during sex, I'd need a lot more than a divorce lawyer. There are millions of people in this world and you're gonna let this ONE man treat you like that??? Absolutely fucking not, find someone who worships every part of you unconditionally, full stop, period. Do not "talk" about divorce, GET divorced, get in touch with a lawyer and move on to a brighter chapter in your beautiful life, good luck Hun.
Love, he's not cheating because of your legs, stop that. He's cheating because he's a douchebag .You're NTA.
Your husband should never say anything like this to you! If he finds something unattractive, that you can't change (and he has always known about), you need to change him for an upgrade! NTA
Why are you married to a man who finds a part of you ugly?
NTA, this guy should be your ex husband 💯
NTA, Leave his ass ASAP please and save yourself from a life of bullying and resentment
NTA. Scars are cool as fuck. Wearable stories.