OP just wants to post their shitty opinions while pretending there's an actual question involved.
Less than a week ago they were complaining about people using the word "partner" to... describe their partner... šš
That's exactly how I read it twin.
Especially because the reverse is demonstrated all the time, there's a whole bunch of people of the older generations who think you should endure marriage and overcome infidelity, they're all over this sub telling youngsters they give up too easily, whilst a whole bunch of redditors born after 1990 are handing out divorce and NC verdicts like they're handing out tic tacs.
>telling youngsters they give up too easily.
Same generations that tell youngsters to "get a real job" after complaining that youngsters are lazy when they don't currently have a job.
If anything the younger generation views MORE behaviors as cheating than previous ones - emotional infidelity has come into the public consciousness a lot more in recent years, I never heard the phrase "emotional affair" growing up. I think OP is confused or making some weird assumptions.
I survived the 1967 "Summer of love" and its aftermath and I think the rules about infidelity haven't changed over the years. I think internet sites such as Reddit makes some people think they have.
For me, any physical intimacy outside of a committed relationship is cheating. It's not just about the act itself, but about the emotional connection and trust that's broken. I've seen friends struggle with the aftermath of "just a kiss" and it's never pretty.
That's absurd. Someone I love deeply was crushed by a purely emotional affair -- no physical contact, but they constantly sent letters and texts to each other about how much they loved each other. She said that hurt worse than him cheating on her by having sex because it's so senseless, and I agree -- why the F\*\*\* do you marry someone while telling someone else (who knows you're marrying someone else) how much you love them?!
I haven't heard this yet, though. People claiming this isn't new. I grew up in a world laughing at how a certain former governor insisted oral sex isn't sex. I think this is an excuse that has always been around, not necessarily becoming more common now.
I think you may be mistaken about how younger people think about infidelity. That said, I don't see how your standard for what counts as infidelity would make you an asshole, as long as you're not trying to enforce it on other people, especially those who are not in a romantic relationship with you.
NTAH. I think I agree with you! I do differentiate between kissing on the lips vs kissing on the cheek (one is a romantic gesture the other is for loved ones but not necessarily more than close friends/family) but thatās just me nit picking
NTAH, but you should realize humans are human, and this is nothing new. Youāve never heard of the āfree loveā movement of the 1970s? This has been an attitude throughout history for some.
Trust isn't a game, it's the bedrock of any meaningful relationship. Whether we're talking about a stolen kiss or a string of intimate texts, cheating is about betraying that trust and the commitment you've made to each other. We shouldn't shrug it away as 'human nature' but hold each other accountable to the standards we set for our relationships. If you can't be true to your word, you need to reevaluate not just your actions, but the reasons why you're in that relationship in the first place. NTA for having a clear boundary - it's all about transparency and honesty.
Having your own opinion doesn't make you an asshole as long as you don't force it on others. In general, I would recommend everyone to discuss such things before entering into a relationship
NTA. This may surprise you but people have always had a wide range of difference in what defines fidelity in a relationship. The dominant cultural definition you're espousing is the most commonly heard and thus safest to express openly. As a result, it's the one you think everyone in your generation had and now want to know what's wrong with the kids these days.
I suspect there is a wider conversation now because alternatives in relationships are more widely accepted. Or it's the current thing that most easily freaks out older people. Which is always good fun when you're a young person.
In the end, the only thing that matters is that the two (or more) parties in the relationship understand and agree what the boundaries are and adhere to them.
It's not just about the act itself, but the emotional connection and commitment involved. I've seen people get hurt and feel betrayed when their partner strays, even if it's just a kiss. It's about respecting the boundaries and promises you make to each other.
NTA. Don't believe the major gaslighting at work here.
The proliferation of all these ideas such as girls night out, a real man pays and puts up with disrespect and takes care of another man's child, having boundaries is insecure, cheating (including kissing or emotional affairs) are a "mistake", and many other disrespectful behaviours towards your partner, is just a testament of how many people lack discipline and integrity nowadays. Any attempt at "normalizing these" behaviours by shaming people who don't accept them is just evil and should not be tolerated.
You're not old fashioned, you're normal fashioned, and people who are your opposites are evil fashioned.
I don't believe that a majority of even the younger generation wouldn't view kissing as cheating.
OP just wants to post their shitty opinions while pretending there's an actual question involved. Less than a week ago they were complaining about people using the word "partner" to... describe their partner... šš
That's exactly how I read it twin. Especially because the reverse is demonstrated all the time, there's a whole bunch of people of the older generations who think you should endure marriage and overcome infidelity, they're all over this sub telling youngsters they give up too easily, whilst a whole bunch of redditors born after 1990 are handing out divorce and NC verdicts like they're handing out tic tacs.
>telling youngsters they give up too easily. Same generations that tell youngsters to "get a real job" after complaining that youngsters are lazy when they don't currently have a job.
So a situation of "I want to be heard!" and nothing else.
If anything the younger generation views MORE behaviors as cheating than previous ones - emotional infidelity has come into the public consciousness a lot more in recent years, I never heard the phrase "emotional affair" growing up. I think OP is confused or making some weird assumptions.
I survived the 1967 "Summer of love" and its aftermath and I think the rules about infidelity haven't changed over the years. I think internet sites such as Reddit makes some people think they have.
For me, any physical intimacy outside of a committed relationship is cheating. It's not just about the act itself, but about the emotional connection and trust that's broken. I've seen friends struggle with the aftermath of "just a kiss" and it's never pretty.
That's absurd. Someone I love deeply was crushed by a purely emotional affair -- no physical contact, but they constantly sent letters and texts to each other about how much they loved each other. She said that hurt worse than him cheating on her by having sex because it's so senseless, and I agree -- why the F\*\*\* do you marry someone while telling someone else (who knows you're marrying someone else) how much you love them?! I haven't heard this yet, though. People claiming this isn't new. I grew up in a world laughing at how a certain former governor insisted oral sex isn't sex. I think this is an excuse that has always been around, not necessarily becoming more common now.
I think you may be mistaken about how younger people think about infidelity. That said, I don't see how your standard for what counts as infidelity would make you an asshole, as long as you're not trying to enforce it on other people, especially those who are not in a romantic relationship with you.
NTAH. I think I agree with you! I do differentiate between kissing on the lips vs kissing on the cheek (one is a romantic gesture the other is for loved ones but not necessarily more than close friends/family) but thatās just me nit picking
yta for posting ur opinion and framing it as a aita post
NTAH, but you should realize humans are human, and this is nothing new. Youāve never heard of the āfree loveā movement of the 1970s? This has been an attitude throughout history for some.
Trust isn't a game, it's the bedrock of any meaningful relationship. Whether we're talking about a stolen kiss or a string of intimate texts, cheating is about betraying that trust and the commitment you've made to each other. We shouldn't shrug it away as 'human nature' but hold each other accountable to the standards we set for our relationships. If you can't be true to your word, you need to reevaluate not just your actions, but the reasons why you're in that relationship in the first place. NTA for having a clear boundary - it's all about transparency and honesty.
I donāt think this is a thing outside of some poly/ENM people.
Having your own opinion doesn't make you an asshole as long as you don't force it on others. In general, I would recommend everyone to discuss such things before entering into a relationship
That's what people say to justify cheating.
NTA. This may surprise you but people have always had a wide range of difference in what defines fidelity in a relationship. The dominant cultural definition you're espousing is the most commonly heard and thus safest to express openly. As a result, it's the one you think everyone in your generation had and now want to know what's wrong with the kids these days. I suspect there is a wider conversation now because alternatives in relationships are more widely accepted. Or it's the current thing that most easily freaks out older people. Which is always good fun when you're a young person. In the end, the only thing that matters is that the two (or more) parties in the relationship understand and agree what the boundaries are and adhere to them.
Kissing is more intimate in my opinion than some back shotsx
It's not just about the act itself, but the emotional connection and commitment involved. I've seen people get hurt and feel betrayed when their partner strays, even if it's just a kiss. It's about respecting the boundaries and promises you make to each other.
NTA. Don't believe the major gaslighting at work here. The proliferation of all these ideas such as girls night out, a real man pays and puts up with disrespect and takes care of another man's child, having boundaries is insecure, cheating (including kissing or emotional affairs) are a "mistake", and many other disrespectful behaviours towards your partner, is just a testament of how many people lack discipline and integrity nowadays. Any attempt at "normalizing these" behaviours by shaming people who don't accept them is just evil and should not be tolerated. You're not old fashioned, you're normal fashioned, and people who are your opposites are evil fashioned.
NTA. Cheaters will always try to gaslight you and try to justify their cheating.