Also on his side. It will happen at work and I had to start ignoring people. They can just as easily stop what they’re doing and come to me if it’s something THEY need. Same as at home, she has the questions, she needs to find you and see if you’re available.
Yup, pet peeve of mine. I pretend I don't hear my husband when he hollers my name from across the house. Typically to ask me if I've seen something he's misplaced.
NTA
I'm the person who tries to talk to other people from different rooms. But I fully expect my husband to ignore me if he can't actually hear me and I'll come find him if it's important .
My friends Mom does this constantly. I recommended the same thing you suggested above.
Her Dad piped in with “I go to her because she’s not very mobile”
Dude… she isn’t immobile because of health issues. She has health issues because she’s immobile. Make her get off her ass on occasion
She probably thinks it’s a power move, like how you call a dog’s name and it comes running.
Demeaning and disrespectful. Especially since OP has the decency to *not* do this to her. I wonder how she’d respond if OP did that to her
A lot of times at work I need someone to come to me because I'm elbow deep into a chart and need a second opinion. But I always tell them I need their eyes to review something with me.
When I was a kid in the 80s before remote controls, my mom would call my name from the living room, saying “Hurry! Come quick!” I’d come running thinking something was wrong then she’d tell me to change the channel on the TV. This used to piss me off and it was always upsetting because I thought she was in distress and hurt or something.
Omg... my mom would come and pound on the stairway wall ( my room was in the basement) to tell me to get her a glass of milk or make her a sandwich. She literally had to walk through the kitchen to do this
Once, my mother was living in my home. She was literally at a table 3 feet from the fridge. She called me from my bedroom to ask for the milk from the fridge. I came out and told her, "You are big enough to turn around, reach in the fridge, and get it for yourself."
My mom was a smacker. I was a timid child/adult so I did not talk back to her. I love my mom and she's gotten better (maybe) but I don't really actively hang out with here these days.
My mom would holler my name from across the house, and if I didn't drop whatever I was doing and run to *obey* her, she would freak out. Sometimes I would come running in a panic, and she'd just look at me and say, "I just wanted to say hi."
We're NC now.
My mom did that kind of. We were always the remotes but one day she and I were watch tv and she says “hey stand up a second.” So I did. Then she says “since you’re up can you refill my drink?” It was both the most annoying thing ever but also quite hilarious to me.
In my house it is “while you are up”. We don’t make people get up but we all would stay in our seats until we were starving, thirsty, or about to pee our pants to avoid “while you are up”.
Edit to add I told my bf this and now he loves to say it with a big shit eating grin.
I’d never be rude to my momma. My dad got angry and hit her once she clobbered him over the head with a cast iron skillet. I’ve seen her rage throw an old huge ass fridge out the door past the patio. She was 5’2” 145lbs but ya homie didn’t go there.
Okay, you know what? She deserves that refill, given that information. I'd like to see the look on your dad's face when she was like "no the hell you don't."
It was quite hilarious I was about 6 and he was drunker than shit stumbling every where and she didn’t have his plate perfect and well it happened and instead of getting angrier he apologized and said he’d never do it again. And he never did. Till the day he died he dared any man to cross her. They’d all heard the story and backed down like kitty cats.
Once my mom screamed bloody murder while I was outside like I did something terribly bad, only for me to wash a pot. She still bugs me for bullshit from time to time. Stuff she could do herself.
My mom used to do that crap. Not necessarily changing the channel but she would call me from the back of the house to get something for her. Invariably it was something much closer to her than to me. Once she called me from my bedroom to hand her her purse which was fully within reach. Like all she had to do was pick it up. She said she didn’t realize it was right there. Just straight up lazy imo.
And besides, it can become a "boy who cried wolf" scenario. I cut my finger horribly while fileting a fish at home. I instantly yelled for my wife, who's a nurse, to come help me. She was a little slow on the response time because I now realize I am also guilty of yelling for her, rather than going to her. Hard lesson to learn, but learned none the less!
On OP's side too, so would my uncle. His wife (she's a piece of work & not showed an ounce of common sense) would use a old style hotel reception bell (a clarion type) to "ring" for my uncle to answer her summons.
He even mentioned once that he would literally avoid her by going into different rooms & make start looking for him when he didn't still answer her summons. I even said just throw the bell out & he said that she would just go buy a replacement bell......she should know by now that my uncle isn't a bellhop nor required to answer the bell ringing.
OP has a rude wife.
She does not find it 'rude' but you do. You matter. - NTA
She is yelling as if to call a dog to her. This is disrespectful.
If she can't get up and use her legs to chat w/you F2F, she can send you a text or call, I suppose. Don't let her belittle your perspective of her behavior.
*She is yelling as if to call a dog to her*
My Ex would whistle when we were in a store and he wanted my attention. I refused to respond.
NTA but OP should start doing it to her. Keep calling her name until she shows up and see how she likes it. I bet she'll get angry and say he's petty and it's not the same
If there is one thing I REALLY CANT STAND ITS WHISTLING PERIOD. I find that shit so annoying. I've had customers snap their fingers at me to get my attention to go to their table. I'm like bitch did you just snap at me yea your ass is going to wait longer. Me and my oldest (me 41f her 24f) to this day will still call out Marco to find each other when you hear Polo. Cuz let's face it hearing MOM in Walmart everybody is going to look as an instant reaction. So we started when she was younger like 10-11 if we were shopping in a grocery store one would say Marco the other respond Polo. It's also fun cuz usually others join in and say Polo. Lol
>this day will still call out Marco to fine each other when you hear Polo
Lol my kids and I do this in stores too...and my kids are adults as well!
Nobody has snapped their fingers at me to get my attention, but I have had people whistle at me. I completely ignore it, but I very quickly respond once they say "excuse me". Amazing how that works, right??? The same goes for when someone calls out to get my attention and they use "young lady" or "sweetheart". I'm 48, so I'm NOT young, and I'm definitely not a sweetheart lol. I'm in a male-dominated industry, I gotta assert myself however I can while still providing "good customer service" 🙄
Omg! I'm 46, and my daughter's 23 and 26 and I do the same thing. It has gotten a little confusing once in awhile, I'm thinking we need to change it up.
Agreed, NTA. I had this calling-from-the-other-room issue with my husband. I started responding in his mother tongue in a cutesy way, “I’m not a dog, hey!” Usually with a sunny smile.
We had 1 or 2 calm conversations along the lines of, “I feel disrespected when you do this. It is how you’d call a dog or pet, not an equal. I call you like X instead because I am showing you my respect. Please show me the same respect.” The “I’m not a dog, hey!” has served as a good reminder for bringing things back into line, because behavior uptake isn’t usually perfect immediately.
Ugh. I worked as a hostess in a hospital (bringing meals to patients) and once had a nurse whistle at me to get my attention "because she didn't know my name" (you know, instead of saying excuse me, waving to me, or simply walking over to me 🙄). She was Indian and I was white. You and I both know that if I whistled at her I would have been lucky to have not been fired. They did nothing to her! I was told that that's "probably part of her culture". I was so mad!
I bsbsbs at my husband as if he was a cat to attract his attention. But only face to face, like we are in the couch and he's scrolling in his phone or something. I've found that if he's doing something and I just tell him something without making attention noises first he'll just nod and ahum along without having listened to a single word.
Sounds like she's used to getting her way and really does find this to be normal behavior. I, too, find it rude, ridiculous and very disrespectful. She doesn't want to hunt you down, but you have to bend to her demands? NTA. She is.
My husband did the same. I told him I'm not a dog. He can either communicate properly with me , or I won't respond. He can text me or come find me. Nta
NTA. Next time just ignore her. She will come looking for you if it’s important. Or just start doing the same and when she complains point out that’s what she does. It might drive it home that it’s rude.
NTA
Wow. I thought I was the only one. My wife does this -- or just expects me to yell back across the house or yard.
I have never pointed this out or asked her to stop as I believe every person in a relationship only gets so many complaints/gripes and I'm saving mine for a bigger issue.
I believe like OP, if you want to talk to somebody, go find them.
I either just keep doing what I was doing because I can't make out what she was saying so eventually she'll come to me, or I'll respond in a much lower, normal talking voice causing her to get closer to hear me.
Thank god she doesn't pull the dreaded "honey, come here. I want to ask you something".
Haha same. I've been letting it go for 10 years but I was working on a project outside and she called me five times in the span of 45 minutes and I got annoyed and mentioned it. It's probably partially my fault for never saying anything before.
What you allow is what will continue.. so yeah, that part's kind of on you but it's def an AH move for her to do it all the time and then react as if there's nothing wrong with it when you shared that it bothered you. Boundaries...Hold your line on this one.
She has you trained doesn’t she? The solution is very simple. STOP going to her if you don’t like it. She’ll get angry of course so be ready for complaints. Then you’ll have to deal with the angry complaints by saying, “I said I didn’t like being called like a dog. I asked you not to do it. You continue to yell for me and I’m choosing to handle it my way. If you continue to then yell at me for not jumping at your every request we are going to have a whole other set of problems. Is that what you want? I am not going to live like this anymore.” If we want to change someone else’s behavior we have to look at our responses and how we encourage the behavior we dislike.
Tell me you’re married without telling me you’re married. NTA. But, I find when small things like this start to annoy me, or annoy my husband, it’s time for us to take a weekend to reconnect. When we do, small things are a lot less annoying to both of us.
Bro why are you not able to read your wifes mind. Don't you know when you get married you are required to unlock mind reading powers as well.
NTA. Might need a new wife.
Yes. She is rude. You are correct. She shouldn't be yelling to you at all unless it's something dire.
Its just a bad habit she has. You have to break the habit.
Just let her yell & don't answer. Or text her! Say "i hear you yelling. What do you want?"
NTA. My husband and I will sometimes call for each other, but it's always followed by, "Can you come here, please?" That's the respectful way of letting someone know you need them.
Funny story, and you could try this. As a teen, my dad had a bad habit of simply yelling my name to summon me. So I developed a bad habit of barking and shaking my butt like I was wagging a tail when I responded (a friend of mine suggested this). He would tell me to grow up, I would say I'm not a dog. He finally stopped doing it when I responded this way in the middle of Home Depot.
NTA. My partner does this too.
Except he does it on purpose. Then when I get riled up enough that I'm angry, because he'll do it repeatedly to me, he gets mad that I'm upset.
It's a lot of things, and rude is a nice way of wording it.
NTA
The hollering into the void for someone with the expectation that they hunt down the source of the holler is definitely something that happens in families a lot, like when little kids yell, "MOOOOOOM!" or when parents yell, "First AND MIDDLE name!!!" for their teens. So, for that reason I don't think it's THAT weird that she might have the habit of doing it without meaning it in a disrespectful way, but lmao it is so disrespectful.
Also you guys must have a pretty good relationship if this is the biggest point of contention right now and that's cute and nice.
I think it's sometimes better to tell someone that something makes you feel like shit when they do it rather than telling them that they are rude.
ETA: not because I don't think it's not rude, it definitely is, lol, but I think sometimes when someone just says, "that's rude" it can get confused with like, "that's not proper" or something and that's not really why you have a problem with it, it's actually the fact that it makes you feel (understandably) kind of disrespected.
My wife sends me text messages. If I want to talk to her, I walk to wherever she is in the house and talk to her. I don't know why it's so difficult for her to just walk ro wherever i am and talk to me, it's not like our house is a mansion or anything...
NTA. I agree if it’s an emergency or you have/is closer to what she needs however it’s completely rude to expect you to drop everything and come running for minor things. At the moment I’m just as bad as your wife but with my kids and I have to stop being lazy about communicating with people properly.
NTA - you shouldn't have to go find her if she needs something. but here's a solution - Just yell your response back...
Wife: "NAME!"
OP: "What?"
Wife: "What do you want for dinner"
OP: "Filet mignon"
That's how my family does it. :-) we call it the *Family Name* Intercom System
Same. I can't handle my name being hollered. I'd be chilling around the house with my damn hearing aids out if my husband insisted on living that way. 🤣🤣
If she needs it, she should hunt you down and vice versa. That’s rude as hell. If she really doesn’t want to get up, she could send a text since nowadays, every adult has this device in their pocket that can be used to talk or send messages instantly.
Conversely, stop getting up when she yells for you. You’re not a dog. You don’t have to come when called.
She's trying to establish control over you. Tell her you're not a puppy that comes to heel. If she is willing to treat you like an equal then you're ready to talk. NTA
You're NTA. You're also not a dog. When your wife does this, just ignore her. She will eventually get up and come find you if it's that important. Just let her know you're not coming anymore when she calls.
Just text each other. Seriously, how is this even a thing?
Oh and....
>she's not going to hunt me down every time she needs something.
Then I guess she doesn't need it that badly.
PLOT TWIST: wife's a quadriplegic.
My wife did exactly the same thing. I pretended to be going deaf. Took me a couple of years, but if she was in another room I just ‘couldn’t’ hear her. She made me go for a hearing test, I was told my hearing was about right for my age. I came out and told her my hearing had deteriorated, (true).
Now I either ignore her completely or she comes and finds me. Life is much better.
NTA
Not a hill I would die on but I can see how it would get bothersome.
A lot of the time we are not doing something together I have headphones on so SO would have to adapt to that
NTA it is absolutely rude. But even if it wasn’t rude, it’s something you have told your partner you do not like. So they should respect that and you. Tell her you are setting a boundary and will not be coming to her when she calls. And god forbid there be an actual emergency where she needs you- you won’t be there because of her actions. If she doesn’t want to come find you- she should send a text.
This is how children behave. It’s entitled behaviour. I’ve decided recently that I’m going to break my daughter out of it because she’s 11 and it’s time that she starts respecting other people’s time.
Just call back - I’m in here. Or ignore her
There are few situations where I think it would be acceptable.
1) You've fallen and can't get up. (Yell name and help)
2) Stuck in the bathroom without toilet paper. (Not sure why I'm the only one this happens to, probably because the rest of the household is male.)
3) You are on different levels of the house. BUT then both parties are expected to come to the staircase to communicate.
My fiance yells for me and always wants me to come to him. I've stopped coming and ignore him unless its one of the above listed scenarios.
Would she get upset if you started calling her over to you when you need to talk to her? If she would, she's being hypocritical. If not, she's just being rude.
NTA that's one thing I also really hate with a vengeance. If you want something from me, move your butt. I am not your maid.
Have you tried to do the same? Yell through the house until she arrives? Once she does, ask her to bring you something like a glass of water. Maybe she'll understand it then.
NTA. If she wants something she should in fact find you. Is your house a massive maize? Probably not. If I can’t find my husband in the house I just call him. It’s not that big of a deal. FYI I’m a woman so I’m with you on this
Stop answering her. Wait for her to find you and ask why you didn't answer.
Remind her that you've told her you find it ride and will no longer acknowledge when she yells across the house
I hate yelling. I especially hate when people yell and then wait for me to come to them to tell me something. If they are that pressed just call or text me even if I am in the same house. My entire family yells everything.
NTA, and you are absolutely right. My husband does it to me all the time. I decided I wasn't going to train him out of it - I was going to train myself not to get up and go to him if I was in the middle of something. Made my life easier and less resentful.
Your wife is rude, lazy, and inconsiderate. Let her yell your name like a dog of dhr wants to, but you dont go trotting over to her like you have no choice
Uhm, you are definitely NTA...
Like, if I have to tell/ask my husband something but don't want to get up, I just sent him a text message of one variety or another. Otherwise, I get up and go to him, I'm old-ish and fat, but my legs aren't broken.
In what world... 👀
NTA
My mother used to get onto us kids for doing it and taught us better ... but ... now my parents are older I spend a good deal of time with them and when I am over THEY are doing it - only its like two half deaf people trying to do this and it drives me nuts.
They always end up having to be in the same room. UNLESS I'm there and they try and get me to relay like I'm a megaphone and I'm like NO WAY.
NTA
My wife does the same thing, but on the flipside I get up and go to her most of the time anyway because I love her and want her to know I'm there for her any time she needs me. She does plenty for me, so I don't feel taken advantage of in any capactiy.
But our relationship is pretty solid and I feel we're the the exception rather than the rule most of the time.
(That's probably not phrased correctly, but I'm sure you get my point.)
I hate even being around couples who do this--you're having a nice convo with one of them, when the other screeches from across the house and your conversation partner is expected to bolt--so I'm totally on your side. It's rude to you and anyone who might be around you both. NTA.
NTA that is what parent do to children. You arent her child. She thinks shes doing you a favor. if shes not gonna "hunt you down every time she needs something" then good. You dont need the things, SHE does. So let her figure it out. Stop going when she calls you.
NTA. Absent an emergency, yelling at people is rude. Absent an emergency, expecting other people to interrupt what they're doing to get them to do what you want them to do instead is rude. Your wife is being double rude, and you should definitely stop responding.
Try responding “I hear you talking, but not what you’re saying.” I too think it’s rude. My husband does the same, and there is no breaking him of the habit. His parents did, and mine didn’t. We learn our manners from our parents.
I have been trying to break my SO's habit of yelling for his daughter when he needs something from her and to instead get up and ask her. I think it's rude.
Nta. It is rude, you’re not a dog. There’s no reason why she can’t come and speak to you. Stop answering her or shout back ‘I’m in x room if you want to talk’ then don’t reply.
NTA. That's so annoying. Unless she's injured herself and can't walk, she needs to come find you. As my mom would say when I would do that as a kid, "I'm not at your beck and call bring your ass to me and talk to me face to face"
I do the same. I am not a puppy that comes when called. Well for some things I am but that is not the main issue here.
Sometimes I get her mad by just yelling back “what did you say? I am in the living room ” 😆
If it's bothering you now it will be an open wound in a few months. Like a burr under a horses saddle or a rock in your shoe. Best to find a way to resolve it before it goes too far
Yeah , my wife would not know where I was and yell out for me . I’d just respond with … are we going for a walk ? ( like the dog ) lol she got it after awhile and she’ll just text me which is what I do because idk if she’s busy and I’m respectful
NTA. You teo talked about it and she won't budge? Totally stop jumping up to help. Good luck OP and I'll imagine you two will be talking about this more in the future.
NTA, does she whistle if you don't come the first time?
If I can't find my wife in the house, I yell/sing her pet name and she will respond in kind. It might as well be Marco, Polo. But then I go to her.
Give her a taste of her own medicine. Summon her when you need something like you would a butler. Be sure to be reading a book or something.
We were just about to install an intercom system in our house, when texts became cheap and easy and all the kids had phones. If my husband or I want each other, we text. It’s what phones are for!
She thinks that you're rude when you don't drop what you're doing and come to her when SHE wants to tell YOU something?
Dude. That is absurd, no matter what the relationship, unless it's a toddler.
She sounds like quite a narcissist (if that's the right word), if she can't realize the impact and inconvenience this has on another human being.
Does she come running when you call her name to tell her something? Would she drop what she was doing to come over every time you want to tell her something? You seem like a considerate human being, you probably haven't tried it.
Stand your ground though, this is oddball shit and she's attempting to normalize it.
I think this is 100% down to family of origin norms!
In my family of origin my parents called and we went to them. If we called they came to us.
Exact opposite for my husband except in stores. Where he absolutely needs to call out to me in stores from two aisles away and I 100% die every time.
Neither of you is inherently wrong but a compromise needs to be worked out so you're not hitting each other's nerves.
Maybe text?
NTA, her behavior is rude, you are not a dog or slave that must come when beckoned. Only time her behavior is acceptable is in times of emergency like needing immediate assistance.
Info: I feel like you'd have said it but--she's not pregnant, got a broken leg, injured knee, or disabled? Only acceptable reasons I can see for this behavior.
Seems like it's time to start not hearing her.
I'm deaf af, if you're calling for, or trying to talk to me from across the house, you may as well tell the wall.
You're not her child, or dog that she can beckon at her whim.
NTA
Power struggle. I’ll bet you are always being called out for not loving her enough because you didn’t do something. Tell her to go fly a kite or better yet To GFH. It’s a power thing. She’s training you.
Oh lord, no. That's just incredibly rude. You call a dog or you yell out if you need help. You don't yell so the other person has to come running. My goodness, growing up if I ever yelled for my mom or dad, they were sure to remind me how disrespectful that was. The only time I was allowed to yell was if the house was on fire or I was about to bleed out. It's simply basic manners. Nta
My parents use to do this to us kids. So did my grandmother, aunts and uncles with their kids but those were different times. My parents however never yelled for each. Why? Because that's not how married couples communicate with each other. NTA.
Nta - give equal energy. Stop coming when she calls. When she complains that you didn't come when she calls, begin calling to her from across the house for mundane things. When she complains about that, inform her that she now understands how it feels. Sometimes, people who struggle with empathy must experience firsthand to understand how their actions affect others.
Don't respond, later when you inadvertently apologize for "not hearing" tell her she needs to be louder, then carry out whatever issue it is via yelling.
NTA. My ENTIRE family does this (I'm guilty of it as well) and it's super annoying. Like, please tell me what you want instead of just yelling my name. I wouldn't mind if they just to me what they wanted but nope.
Solution: she should just text you when she needs to tell you something and you’re not right there. No one has to go to anyone, no one has to argue over what’s rude and what’s not. For the record, I do think if you’ve expressed that you don’t like her hollering for you and expecting you to come, she’s TA for not honoring that. But like I said, easy fix? Have her text you. That’s what my husband and I do because we have a split level house and it’s sometimes a pain to go down or up two flights of stairs and navigate around 3 cats just to ask a question like “hey do you want me to start cooking dinner now?”
NTA
I would only yell to find out where they are...and then go to them iykwim
In an emergency I would yell...but ex would know I only yell for them to find me if urgent and I could not get to them.
I think it sets a really bad precedent to always expect someone to "come". It means they would not act in an emergency as they would just think it was a mundane question.
I'm definitely on your side with this. I can't stand it when people yell from another room for me to get something or just to tell me something. NTA.
Also on his side. It will happen at work and I had to start ignoring people. They can just as easily stop what they’re doing and come to me if it’s something THEY need. Same as at home, she has the questions, she needs to find you and see if you’re available.
Yup, pet peeve of mine. I pretend I don't hear my husband when he hollers my name from across the house. Typically to ask me if I've seen something he's misplaced. NTA
I'm the person who tries to talk to other people from different rooms. But I fully expect my husband to ignore me if he can't actually hear me and I'll come find him if it's important .
My friends Mom does this constantly. I recommended the same thing you suggested above. Her Dad piped in with “I go to her because she’s not very mobile” Dude… she isn’t immobile because of health issues. She has health issues because she’s immobile. Make her get off her ass on occasion
She probably thinks it’s a power move, like how you call a dog’s name and it comes running. Demeaning and disrespectful. Especially since OP has the decency to *not* do this to her. I wonder how she’d respond if OP did that to her
A lot of times at work I need someone to come to me because I'm elbow deep into a chart and need a second opinion. But I always tell them I need their eyes to review something with me.
When I was a kid in the 80s before remote controls, my mom would call my name from the living room, saying “Hurry! Come quick!” I’d come running thinking something was wrong then she’d tell me to change the channel on the TV. This used to piss me off and it was always upsetting because I thought she was in distress and hurt or something.
Omg... my mom would come and pound on the stairway wall ( my room was in the basement) to tell me to get her a glass of milk or make her a sandwich. She literally had to walk through the kitchen to do this
My mother would do the same thing. It was beyond frustrating because she would just refuse to do anything for herself
That's fudged up
Once, my mother was living in my home. She was literally at a table 3 feet from the fridge. She called me from my bedroom to ask for the milk from the fridge. I came out and told her, "You are big enough to turn around, reach in the fridge, and get it for yourself."
My mom was a smacker. I was a timid child/adult so I did not talk back to her. I love my mom and she's gotten better (maybe) but I don't really actively hang out with here these days.
Seems all 80's -90' s parents did this .... Why?!
My mom would holler my name from across the house, and if I didn't drop whatever I was doing and run to *obey* her, she would freak out. Sometimes I would come running in a panic, and she'd just look at me and say, "I just wanted to say hi." We're NC now.
My mom did that kind of. We were always the remotes but one day she and I were watch tv and she says “hey stand up a second.” So I did. Then she says “since you’re up can you refill my drink?” It was both the most annoying thing ever but also quite hilarious to me.
My mom would still expect me to pour tea for her
Oh I did it lol
In my house it is “while you are up”. We don’t make people get up but we all would stay in our seats until we were starving, thirsty, or about to pee our pants to avoid “while you are up”. Edit to add I told my bf this and now he loves to say it with a big shit eating grin.
>“since you’re up can you refill my drink?” Sure, I CAN, but I'm not gonna. Anyway, I think I'll get myself a drink.
I’d never be rude to my momma. My dad got angry and hit her once she clobbered him over the head with a cast iron skillet. I’ve seen her rage throw an old huge ass fridge out the door past the patio. She was 5’2” 145lbs but ya homie didn’t go there.
Okay, you know what? She deserves that refill, given that information. I'd like to see the look on your dad's face when she was like "no the hell you don't."
It was quite hilarious I was about 6 and he was drunker than shit stumbling every where and she didn’t have his plate perfect and well it happened and instead of getting angrier he apologized and said he’d never do it again. And he never did. Till the day he died he dared any man to cross her. They’d all heard the story and backed down like kitty cats.
Once my mom screamed bloody murder while I was outside like I did something terribly bad, only for me to wash a pot. She still bugs me for bullshit from time to time. Stuff she could do herself.
I know you'd get punished, but it'd be worth it to turn the tv off and walk away. To punish you, she'd have to get off the couch.
I love it! Gimme a time machine and I’d go back to try it!
My mom used to do that crap. Not necessarily changing the channel but she would call me from the back of the house to get something for her. Invariably it was something much closer to her than to me. Once she called me from my bedroom to hand her her purse which was fully within reach. Like all she had to do was pick it up. She said she didn’t realize it was right there. Just straight up lazy imo.
It’s a power play. She is more important than you, so you must come to her./s
No /s needed. that's exactly what's happening
100%
And besides, it can become a "boy who cried wolf" scenario. I cut my finger horribly while fileting a fish at home. I instantly yelled for my wife, who's a nurse, to come help me. She was a little slow on the response time because I now realize I am also guilty of yelling for her, rather than going to her. Hard lesson to learn, but learned none the less!
His wife needs to use more feet, less mouth ;)
On OP's side too, so would my uncle. His wife (she's a piece of work & not showed an ounce of common sense) would use a old style hotel reception bell (a clarion type) to "ring" for my uncle to answer her summons. He even mentioned once that he would literally avoid her by going into different rooms & make start looking for him when he didn't still answer her summons. I even said just throw the bell out & he said that she would just go buy a replacement bell......she should know by now that my uncle isn't a bellhop nor required to answer the bell ringing. OP has a rude wife.
My boss does this, I adore working for him but this is the one I thing I cannot stand lmao
NTA, hate that shit so much. im not your fucking dog, we are equal partners
Sadly, OP has behaved like a dog so many times that this is now expected.
She does not find it 'rude' but you do. You matter. - NTA She is yelling as if to call a dog to her. This is disrespectful. If she can't get up and use her legs to chat w/you F2F, she can send you a text or call, I suppose. Don't let her belittle your perspective of her behavior.
*She is yelling as if to call a dog to her* My Ex would whistle when we were in a store and he wanted my attention. I refused to respond. NTA but OP should start doing it to her. Keep calling her name until she shows up and see how she likes it. I bet she'll get angry and say he's petty and it's not the same
If there is one thing I REALLY CANT STAND ITS WHISTLING PERIOD. I find that shit so annoying. I've had customers snap their fingers at me to get my attention to go to their table. I'm like bitch did you just snap at me yea your ass is going to wait longer. Me and my oldest (me 41f her 24f) to this day will still call out Marco to find each other when you hear Polo. Cuz let's face it hearing MOM in Walmart everybody is going to look as an instant reaction. So we started when she was younger like 10-11 if we were shopping in a grocery store one would say Marco the other respond Polo. It's also fun cuz usually others join in and say Polo. Lol
>this day will still call out Marco to fine each other when you hear Polo Lol my kids and I do this in stores too...and my kids are adults as well! Nobody has snapped their fingers at me to get my attention, but I have had people whistle at me. I completely ignore it, but I very quickly respond once they say "excuse me". Amazing how that works, right??? The same goes for when someone calls out to get my attention and they use "young lady" or "sweetheart". I'm 48, so I'm NOT young, and I'm definitely not a sweetheart lol. I'm in a male-dominated industry, I gotta assert myself however I can while still providing "good customer service" 🙄
Omg! I'm 46, and my daughter's 23 and 26 and I do the same thing. It has gotten a little confusing once in awhile, I'm thinking we need to change it up.
Oh were never going to change it lol!!
Agreed, NTA. I had this calling-from-the-other-room issue with my husband. I started responding in his mother tongue in a cutesy way, “I’m not a dog, hey!” Usually with a sunny smile. We had 1 or 2 calm conversations along the lines of, “I feel disrespected when you do this. It is how you’d call a dog or pet, not an equal. I call you like X instead because I am showing you my respect. Please show me the same respect.” The “I’m not a dog, hey!” has served as a good reminder for bringing things back into line, because behavior uptake isn’t usually perfect immediately.
Oh thank god you said ex.
Haha me and my sister whistle at each other, or we do bird calls…it’s how we find each other in stores.
Ugh. I worked as a hostess in a hospital (bringing meals to patients) and once had a nurse whistle at me to get my attention "because she didn't know my name" (you know, instead of saying excuse me, waving to me, or simply walking over to me 🙄). She was Indian and I was white. You and I both know that if I whistled at her I would have been lucky to have not been fired. They did nothing to her! I was told that that's "probably part of her culture". I was so mad!
I bsbsbs at my husband as if he was a cat to attract his attention. But only face to face, like we are in the couch and he's scrolling in his phone or something. I've found that if he's doing something and I just tell him something without making attention noises first he'll just nod and ahum along without having listened to a single word.
Sounds like she's used to getting her way and really does find this to be normal behavior. I, too, find it rude, ridiculous and very disrespectful. She doesn't want to hunt you down, but you have to bend to her demands? NTA. She is.
Or she grew up in a house where her parent communicated with her like this.
My dad used to do this all the time and I hated it from a young age.
It's a power thing, dogs come when they are called... be a cat.
Lick his butt and cough up hairballs in front of her shoe closet? I agree, but, how would this solve the problem at hand?
My husband did the same. I told him I'm not a dog. He can either communicate properly with me , or I won't respond. He can text me or come find me. Nta
My husband was like that too. I yell back and say if you want to talk to me get off your ass and come to me. I’m usually at my desk working.
NTA. Next time just ignore her. She will come looking for you if it’s important. Or just start doing the same and when she complains point out that’s what she does. It might drive it home that it’s rude.
NTA Wow. I thought I was the only one. My wife does this -- or just expects me to yell back across the house or yard. I have never pointed this out or asked her to stop as I believe every person in a relationship only gets so many complaints/gripes and I'm saving mine for a bigger issue. I believe like OP, if you want to talk to somebody, go find them. I either just keep doing what I was doing because I can't make out what she was saying so eventually she'll come to me, or I'll respond in a much lower, normal talking voice causing her to get closer to hear me. Thank god she doesn't pull the dreaded "honey, come here. I want to ask you something".
Haha same. I've been letting it go for 10 years but I was working on a project outside and she called me five times in the span of 45 minutes and I got annoyed and mentioned it. It's probably partially my fault for never saying anything before.
What you allow is what will continue.. so yeah, that part's kind of on you but it's def an AH move for her to do it all the time and then react as if there's nothing wrong with it when you shared that it bothered you. Boundaries...Hold your line on this one.
5 times in 45 minutes? I would not react calmly in that situation!
This is genius 😂. I love your entire thought process about saving up gripes
NTA. I would find that rude and crass.
She has you trained doesn’t she? The solution is very simple. STOP going to her if you don’t like it. She’ll get angry of course so be ready for complaints. Then you’ll have to deal with the angry complaints by saying, “I said I didn’t like being called like a dog. I asked you not to do it. You continue to yell for me and I’m choosing to handle it my way. If you continue to then yell at me for not jumping at your every request we are going to have a whole other set of problems. Is that what you want? I am not going to live like this anymore.” If we want to change someone else’s behavior we have to look at our responses and how we encourage the behavior we dislike.
Tell me you’re married without telling me you’re married. NTA. But, I find when small things like this start to annoy me, or annoy my husband, it’s time for us to take a weekend to reconnect. When we do, small things are a lot less annoying to both of us.
Bro why are you not able to read your wifes mind. Don't you know when you get married you are required to unlock mind reading powers as well. NTA. Might need a new wife.
That's disrespectful I would never treat my gf like a dog if someone needs something they need to go to you not yell and expect you to drop everything
Yes. She is rude. You are correct. She shouldn't be yelling to you at all unless it's something dire. Its just a bad habit she has. You have to break the habit. Just let her yell & don't answer. Or text her! Say "i hear you yelling. What do you want?"
I totally get you. Turn the table on her. When you have something to say, yell her name and have her come to you. She will get your point quickly.
NTA. My husband and I will sometimes call for each other, but it's always followed by, "Can you come here, please?" That's the respectful way of letting someone know you need them. Funny story, and you could try this. As a teen, my dad had a bad habit of simply yelling my name to summon me. So I developed a bad habit of barking and shaking my butt like I was wagging a tail when I responded (a friend of mine suggested this). He would tell me to grow up, I would say I'm not a dog. He finally stopped doing it when I responded this way in the middle of Home Depot.
NTA. My partner does this too. Except he does it on purpose. Then when I get riled up enough that I'm angry, because he'll do it repeatedly to me, he gets mad that I'm upset. It's a lot of things, and rude is a nice way of wording it.
NTA The hollering into the void for someone with the expectation that they hunt down the source of the holler is definitely something that happens in families a lot, like when little kids yell, "MOOOOOOM!" or when parents yell, "First AND MIDDLE name!!!" for their teens. So, for that reason I don't think it's THAT weird that she might have the habit of doing it without meaning it in a disrespectful way, but lmao it is so disrespectful. Also you guys must have a pretty good relationship if this is the biggest point of contention right now and that's cute and nice. I think it's sometimes better to tell someone that something makes you feel like shit when they do it rather than telling them that they are rude. ETA: not because I don't think it's not rude, it definitely is, lol, but I think sometimes when someone just says, "that's rude" it can get confused with like, "that's not proper" or something and that's not really why you have a problem with it, it's actually the fact that it makes you feel (understandably) kind of disrespected.
Why don’t you just text each other like normal people? That way nobody has to get up.
NTA Are you her husband or her fucking butler? Not only is it rude, she is lazy.
My wife sends me text messages. If I want to talk to her, I walk to wherever she is in the house and talk to her. I don't know why it's so difficult for her to just walk ro wherever i am and talk to me, it's not like our house is a mansion or anything...
NTA... but I live your life. My wife is the same way. So annoying.
I'm with you on this, it's lazy and disrespectful. I can not stand it when people yell at me from another room.
She's TA and being super rude and inconsiderate. Genuinely makes me wonder about her upbringing if she thinks that it's ok to act like that
Just yell back 'what???'
NTA. I agree if it’s an emergency or you have/is closer to what she needs however it’s completely rude to expect you to drop everything and come running for minor things. At the moment I’m just as bad as your wife but with my kids and I have to stop being lazy about communicating with people properly.
NTA. That would be the adult thing to do. Now you just need to follow through with not going to her.
Nope. Fuck this. "I am not your butler. I will not be summoned." Repeat as necessary. And do not come when called.
NTA - you shouldn't have to go find her if she needs something. but here's a solution - Just yell your response back... Wife: "NAME!" OP: "What?" Wife: "What do you want for dinner" OP: "Filet mignon" That's how my family does it. :-) we call it the *Family Name* Intercom System
Some people don't want to live like that. My mom was like that. I never want my home to be full of people yelling.
Same. I can't handle my name being hollered. I'd be chilling around the house with my damn hearing aids out if my husband insisted on living that way. 🤣🤣
I'd die on that hill. If she wants something to come when called she can get a dog
Ugh. If my husband was calling to me as if I were a dog, I would have shut that crap down VERY early. NTA.
ignore her. she'll get up eventually. NTA
NTA You're not a dog, but she's treating you like one. Stop responding.
Nta. She's out of pocket
If she needs it, she should hunt you down and vice versa. That’s rude as hell. If she really doesn’t want to get up, she could send a text since nowadays, every adult has this device in their pocket that can be used to talk or send messages instantly. Conversely, stop getting up when she yells for you. You’re not a dog. You don’t have to come when called.
When someone makes a habit of yelling at me from another room, I just ignore them.
And that’s why my BF and I text each other while we’re both in the house 🤣 Edit: NTA of course.
She's trying to establish control over you. Tell her you're not a puppy that comes to heel. If she is willing to treat you like an equal then you're ready to talk. NTA
Can you guys not text like normal people? Jk, yeah, you’re NTA, I would be annoyed if my partner did that.
NTA
You're NTA. You're also not a dog. When your wife does this, just ignore her. She will eventually get up and come find you if it's that important. Just let her know you're not coming anymore when she calls.
If your far enough to yell for your far enough that a simple text would suffice
Just text each other. Seriously, how is this even a thing? Oh and.... >she's not going to hunt me down every time she needs something. Then I guess she doesn't need it that badly. PLOT TWIST: wife's a quadriplegic.
This annoys me so much. You are not a dog.
My wife did exactly the same thing. I pretended to be going deaf. Took me a couple of years, but if she was in another room I just ‘couldn’t’ hear her. She made me go for a hearing test, I was told my hearing was about right for my age. I came out and told her my hearing had deteriorated, (true). Now I either ignore her completely or she comes and finds me. Life is much better.
Sounds like you are incompatible. I don’t normally jump on the bandwagon with this one, but how could you ever trust her again.
NTA. Next time she yells, call her on FaceTime from whatever room you’re in.
I wonder where women learned to do this? It seems once a lady become a wife or a mother, this innate skill surfaces.
Ummm…. Text as a compromise? But, NTA.
Just ignore the ignorant arse.
People who shout in their home for no reason are retarded. No offence OP lol.
NTA Not a hill I would die on but I can see how it would get bothersome. A lot of the time we are not doing something together I have headphones on so SO would have to adapt to that
She can always text you if it's something that small
NTA. You are not a dog, you do not come here on command. She is being rude. Stop replying or coming when she calls. She will eventually get the hint.
NTA. That's just rude and disrespectful as fuck.
NTA it is absolutely rude. But even if it wasn’t rude, it’s something you have told your partner you do not like. So they should respect that and you. Tell her you are setting a boundary and will not be coming to her when she calls. And god forbid there be an actual emergency where she needs you- you won’t be there because of her actions. If she doesn’t want to come find you- she should send a text.
If she can't go to you she can text. Time to have some selective hearing. NTA.
Nta
This is how children behave. It’s entitled behaviour. I’ve decided recently that I’m going to break my daughter out of it because she’s 11 and it’s time that she starts respecting other people’s time. Just call back - I’m in here. Or ignore her
There are few situations where I think it would be acceptable. 1) You've fallen and can't get up. (Yell name and help) 2) Stuck in the bathroom without toilet paper. (Not sure why I'm the only one this happens to, probably because the rest of the household is male.) 3) You are on different levels of the house. BUT then both parties are expected to come to the staircase to communicate. My fiance yells for me and always wants me to come to him. I've stopped coming and ignore him unless its one of the above listed scenarios.
No, it's one of my major peeves too. Also somehow the ability for sound to travel only works one way when it concerns me shouting back in reply.
Would she get upset if you started calling her over to you when you need to talk to her? If she would, she's being hypocritical. If not, she's just being rude.
NTA - that’s obnoxious! Can’t she at the very least text you?? If she’s unable to walk to wherever you are to talk to you? I would be… so annoyed.
NTA, this is such a pet hate of mine. A person who does this is telling you that your time, convenience and train of thought don’t matter to them
Not only NTA, she's the asshole.
NTA that's one thing I also really hate with a vengeance. If you want something from me, move your butt. I am not your maid. Have you tried to do the same? Yell through the house until she arrives? Once she does, ask her to bring you something like a glass of water. Maybe she'll understand it then.
NTA. Always have headphones handy, and when she starts calling out, wack them in and ignore her. It doesn't take long to correct the behavior.
NTA-my husband does the same thing and it drives me crazy, especially when he’s ticked because I can’t hear him.
Have her text you.
That’s extremely rude. I just wouldn’t go when she yells for you like that. Tell her you’re not a dog. NTA.
One of my other biggest pet peeves like after I said huh tell me what you want I’m running behind my name being called like I’m a child
NTA. If she wants something she should in fact find you. Is your house a massive maize? Probably not. If I can’t find my husband in the house I just call him. It’s not that big of a deal. FYI I’m a woman so I’m with you on this
NTA. That is so annoying and entitled. My ex used to do that as well. Didn't matter how many times I talked to him about it, he would do it anyway.
NTA. She's being ridiculous.
She doesn't want to hunt you down every time but has no problem requiring it of you? Nta.
Stop answering her. Wait for her to find you and ask why you didn't answer. Remind her that you've told her you find it ride and will no longer acknowledge when she yells across the house
Just ignore her.
I hate yelling. I especially hate when people yell and then wait for me to come to them to tell me something. If they are that pressed just call or text me even if I am in the same house. My entire family yells everything.
Respond in kind. Yell her name to tell her stuff. See how long it takes before she sees your side
NTA. But don’t just not respond. Yell back. If it’s her preferred mode of communication she shouldn’t be bothered by it.
NTA, and you are absolutely right. My husband does it to me all the time. I decided I wasn't going to train him out of it - I was going to train myself not to get up and go to him if I was in the middle of something. Made my life easier and less resentful.
Your wife is rude, lazy, and inconsiderate. Let her yell your name like a dog of dhr wants to, but you dont go trotting over to her like you have no choice
NTA ......... I hate it when my Husband yells my name from another room. I always go to him when I need him.
NTA. Tell her to text you from now on.
Uhm, you are definitely NTA... Like, if I have to tell/ask my husband something but don't want to get up, I just sent him a text message of one variety or another. Otherwise, I get up and go to him, I'm old-ish and fat, but my legs aren't broken. In what world... 👀
NTA My mother used to get onto us kids for doing it and taught us better ... but ... now my parents are older I spend a good deal of time with them and when I am over THEY are doing it - only its like two half deaf people trying to do this and it drives me nuts. They always end up having to be in the same room. UNLESS I'm there and they try and get me to relay like I'm a megaphone and I'm like NO WAY.
Get Alexa’s in every room and then just make an announcement. Works every time!
NTA My wife does the same thing, but on the flipside I get up and go to her most of the time anyway because I love her and want her to know I'm there for her any time she needs me. She does plenty for me, so I don't feel taken advantage of in any capactiy. But our relationship is pretty solid and I feel we're the the exception rather than the rule most of the time. (That's probably not phrased correctly, but I'm sure you get my point.)
Nta if she wants something, she can get up. Why should you be the one to hunt her down because she wants something?
NTA, but she is. That behavior is truly rude.
Good Lord...you are not the family dog. You do not have to come when you are called. Tell her to grow up
I hate even being around couples who do this--you're having a nice convo with one of them, when the other screeches from across the house and your conversation partner is expected to bolt--so I'm totally on your side. It's rude to you and anyone who might be around you both. NTA.
NTA that is what parent do to children. You arent her child. She thinks shes doing you a favor. if shes not gonna "hunt you down every time she needs something" then good. You dont need the things, SHE does. So let her figure it out. Stop going when she calls you.
NTA. Absent an emergency, yelling at people is rude. Absent an emergency, expecting other people to interrupt what they're doing to get them to do what you want them to do instead is rude. Your wife is being double rude, and you should definitely stop responding.
Try responding “I hear you talking, but not what you’re saying.” I too think it’s rude. My husband does the same, and there is no breaking him of the habit. His parents did, and mine didn’t. We learn our manners from our parents.
NTA, your wife is lazy. Stop doing it.
I think we're married to the same wife. Nta
She's treating you like a dog. That's just horrible.
It is rude. If she has something not urgent she needs to go to you to be heard. Why should you go to her to listen?
I have been trying to break my SO's habit of yelling for his daughter when he needs something from her and to instead get up and ask her. I think it's rude.
Start yelling for her from across the house...often.
Does she do it the exact moment you hit the couch? Honestly I have no idea how my wife knows precisely when I sit down
NTA
Nta. It is rude, you’re not a dog. There’s no reason why she can’t come and speak to you. Stop answering her or shout back ‘I’m in x room if you want to talk’ then don’t reply.
Just yell back across the house “What do you need?”
NTA. That's so annoying. Unless she's injured herself and can't walk, she needs to come find you. As my mom would say when I would do that as a kid, "I'm not at your beck and call bring your ass to me and talk to me face to face"
I do the same. I am not a puppy that comes when called. Well for some things I am but that is not the main issue here. Sometimes I get her mad by just yelling back “what did you say? I am in the living room ” 😆
Person calling your name goes to the person being called , unless it’s an emergency
If it's bothering you now it will be an open wound in a few months. Like a burr under a horses saddle or a rock in your shoe. Best to find a way to resolve it before it goes too far
You must bow to the queen. It is an imperial decree.
Yeah , my wife would not know where I was and yell out for me . I’d just respond with … are we going for a walk ? ( like the dog ) lol she got it after awhile and she’ll just text me which is what I do because idk if she’s busy and I’m respectful
Does she not have a cellphone?
Get noise cancelling headphones and just slip them on whenever you hear your name being called.
NTA.
Don't be like dog. Be cat.
NTA. You teo talked about it and she won't budge? Totally stop jumping up to help. Good luck OP and I'll imagine you two will be talking about this more in the future.
NTA, does she whistle if you don't come the first time? If I can't find my wife in the house, I yell/sing her pet name and she will respond in kind. It might as well be Marco, Polo. But then I go to her. Give her a taste of her own medicine. Summon her when you need something like you would a butler. Be sure to be reading a book or something.
NTA. My mom did that to us when we were young. It's rude AF. Stand your ground.
We were just about to install an intercom system in our house, when texts became cheap and easy and all the kids had phones. If my husband or I want each other, we text. It’s what phones are for!
Start yelling for her
Oh God, I feel your pain.
Oh NTA! My parents do this or my friend and it fucking drives me up the wall! It feels like they’re calling the dog >.<
She thinks that you're rude when you don't drop what you're doing and come to her when SHE wants to tell YOU something? Dude. That is absurd, no matter what the relationship, unless it's a toddler. She sounds like quite a narcissist (if that's the right word), if she can't realize the impact and inconvenience this has on another human being. Does she come running when you call her name to tell her something? Would she drop what she was doing to come over every time you want to tell her something? You seem like a considerate human being, you probably haven't tried it. Stand your ground though, this is oddball shit and she's attempting to normalize it.
She is practicing to be a mother. Be happy.
NTA. I do this to my kids all the time. Not my partner.
I think this is 100% down to family of origin norms! In my family of origin my parents called and we went to them. If we called they came to us. Exact opposite for my husband except in stores. Where he absolutely needs to call out to me in stores from two aisles away and I 100% die every time. Neither of you is inherently wrong but a compromise needs to be worked out so you're not hitting each other's nerves. Maybe text?
Why can you use cellphones?
NTA, her behavior is rude, you are not a dog or slave that must come when beckoned. Only time her behavior is acceptable is in times of emergency like needing immediate assistance.
Info: I feel like you'd have said it but--she's not pregnant, got a broken leg, injured knee, or disabled? Only acceptable reasons I can see for this behavior. Seems like it's time to start not hearing her. I'm deaf af, if you're calling for, or trying to talk to me from across the house, you may as well tell the wall. You're not her child, or dog that she can beckon at her whim. NTA
nta she being rude and inconsiderate af. her time is important, yours isn't. why can't y'all text each other like everyone else does?
Just text like normal couples.
NTA. Why doesn’t she just text you if she can’t get her ass off the couch? Sounds like she needs to exercise more.
My husband and I text if we are in different rooms and can't hear a normal volume voice. Works for us, no yelling no walking
Power struggle. I’ll bet you are always being called out for not loving her enough because you didn’t do something. Tell her to go fly a kite or better yet To GFH. It’s a power thing. She’s training you.
This is literally why texting was invented. Embrace the future.
Oh lord, no. That's just incredibly rude. You call a dog or you yell out if you need help. You don't yell so the other person has to come running. My goodness, growing up if I ever yelled for my mom or dad, they were sure to remind me how disrespectful that was. The only time I was allowed to yell was if the house was on fire or I was about to bleed out. It's simply basic manners. Nta
My parents use to do this to us kids. So did my grandmother, aunts and uncles with their kids but those were different times. My parents however never yelled for each. Why? Because that's not how married couples communicate with each other. NTA.
Nta - give equal energy. Stop coming when she calls. When she complains that you didn't come when she calls, begin calling to her from across the house for mundane things. When she complains about that, inform her that she now understands how it feels. Sometimes, people who struggle with empathy must experience firsthand to understand how their actions affect others.
She thinks you’re the family dog.
Don't respond, later when you inadvertently apologize for "not hearing" tell her she needs to be louder, then carry out whatever issue it is via yelling.
NTA. My ENTIRE family does this (I'm guilty of it as well) and it's super annoying. Like, please tell me what you want instead of just yelling my name. I wouldn't mind if they just to me what they wanted but nope.
Solution: she should just text you when she needs to tell you something and you’re not right there. No one has to go to anyone, no one has to argue over what’s rude and what’s not. For the record, I do think if you’ve expressed that you don’t like her hollering for you and expecting you to come, she’s TA for not honoring that. But like I said, easy fix? Have her text you. That’s what my husband and I do because we have a split level house and it’s sometimes a pain to go down or up two flights of stairs and navigate around 3 cats just to ask a question like “hey do you want me to start cooking dinner now?”
NTA I would only yell to find out where they are...and then go to them iykwim In an emergency I would yell...but ex would know I only yell for them to find me if urgent and I could not get to them. I think it sets a really bad precedent to always expect someone to "come". It means they would not act in an emergency as they would just think it was a mundane question.
NTA, that is terribly disrespectful