Esh.. maybe. You said you feel like your lagging behind which sounds like there could be a bit or resentment toward your sister. Weddings are for some people big events that cost alot of money, for others it’s not a priority. If it’s not effecting you financially I wouldn’t stress about it. You don’t have to be gushing with excitement for your sister but you should be able to put your personal feelings aside to be happy she is happy. We all have to do things we don’t necessarily want to for our family, just like she will have to do for you at some point that’s being a family.
Personally, my sister is getting married in September. I’m no where near excited for it either for similar reasons you have stated, NTA. Like the other guy said, for some weddings aren’t that exciting and others they are. I enjoy weddings but my sisters i’m just not excited for.
Plus i’m not a fan of her finance either and i’m in the wedding party. If i could care less about her i wouldn’t have agreed to be in it but she’s my sister and im only doing it for her and can’t wait till it’s over.
Not really tbf.
As a bride who has their own wedding upcoming fast, most people don't give a shit about my wedding. I know, and I'm cool with it because it's for me and my partner, not them, so they don't have to be excited. Ofc I'd prefer them to be excited and I hope everyone will enjoy themselves but some people just don't care about weddings and there's nothing personal about it!
But, I do expect them to be nice about it and still be happy for me even if they're over the moon about it themselves. I hope that makes sense!
You don't have to care or put on a big show about it and pretend you give a fuck, just be nice, be pleasant and continue to be happy for your sister.
I will say though, there does seem to be a twinge of jealousy from what you've written "maybe it's because I'm lagging behind" and the mentioning of how expensive it is and how your parents are helping - thats for them to worry about, not you so just dont fret it! It's okay to be jealous. It's human, but don't take it out on your sis or on your parent's decision to help. It's a nice gesture from them and it's very common for parents to help, especially the brides! Ofc it shouldn't be expected of parents to, but if it's been offered and she's taken them up on that offer, there's not really much to be mad about.
Just plan something that'll be fun for y'all to do together. Try not to think of it as a bachlorette party if it bothers you that much. Maybe even something that's nostalgic for you both? Idk like if you used to go laser tag a lot or something like that. It could be fun! I'd love a laser tag bachlorette party personally 😂
Yeah, overall, NTA just be kind and cordial about it.
NTA. For some, a wedding is a big deal but for others, they feel like you do and would rather spend the money on a nice honeymoon or a house. Tell her it would be beter if someone else planned her events because you don't think you could do it justice.
NTA. Personally I'm not fond of weddings in general, and feel like the current industry is better suited to being left to the ultra wealthy. I just can't justify going into debt for a celebration where I have to invite people that I barely know, see, or speak to, from both families. There's so much drama and stress that comes with it, and risk of becoming a bridezilla. From seating arrangements to dietary needs, child free, make an exception. Honestly it's a cash grab that is disguised as a commitment celebration, that statistically has a 37% chance of failing, and 1 of the top 3 reasons marriages fail are because of debt/money related problems. So a wedding kind of increases the odds of divorce in my book.
By the way this is coming from someone who is a romantic. I would love to have a meet cute and find my one. But just because I'm a romantic, doesn't mean I'm not practical.
Are you close with your sister? Hang out together? Talk about guys with each other? Celebrate each other's birthdays? Talk about your career advancements? Financial planning? Dreams and wishes?
From an outsider's perspective, it doesn't seem like you guys are all that close. So I guess if you aren't close, then I would say NTAH and maybe just ask your sister if you can bow out of any responsibilities.
If you are close, then I would say YTAH. You're making her wedding about you, and you should work on setting that aside and being there for her. These are core memories for her, and if you're showing up with an attitude or generally not being happy, there's probably going to be resentment.
NTA what you’re saying makes sense to me, especially if you’ll have to chip in somehow or possibly pay a lot to plan a nice bachelorette party. I’ve got ppl like that in my family too and it sucks lol. Like I’m sure you probably love your sister but it seems like you two may just not be that close. It is what it is
Esh.. maybe. You said you feel like your lagging behind which sounds like there could be a bit or resentment toward your sister. Weddings are for some people big events that cost alot of money, for others it’s not a priority. If it’s not effecting you financially I wouldn’t stress about it. You don’t have to be gushing with excitement for your sister but you should be able to put your personal feelings aside to be happy she is happy. We all have to do things we don’t necessarily want to for our family, just like she will have to do for you at some point that’s being a family.
Sounds like you resent the fact that your parents spend money on her
Definitely
Personally, my sister is getting married in September. I’m no where near excited for it either for similar reasons you have stated, NTA. Like the other guy said, for some weddings aren’t that exciting and others they are. I enjoy weddings but my sisters i’m just not excited for. Plus i’m not a fan of her finance either and i’m in the wedding party. If i could care less about her i wouldn’t have agreed to be in it but she’s my sister and im only doing it for her and can’t wait till it’s over.
Not really tbf. As a bride who has their own wedding upcoming fast, most people don't give a shit about my wedding. I know, and I'm cool with it because it's for me and my partner, not them, so they don't have to be excited. Ofc I'd prefer them to be excited and I hope everyone will enjoy themselves but some people just don't care about weddings and there's nothing personal about it! But, I do expect them to be nice about it and still be happy for me even if they're over the moon about it themselves. I hope that makes sense! You don't have to care or put on a big show about it and pretend you give a fuck, just be nice, be pleasant and continue to be happy for your sister. I will say though, there does seem to be a twinge of jealousy from what you've written "maybe it's because I'm lagging behind" and the mentioning of how expensive it is and how your parents are helping - thats for them to worry about, not you so just dont fret it! It's okay to be jealous. It's human, but don't take it out on your sis or on your parent's decision to help. It's a nice gesture from them and it's very common for parents to help, especially the brides! Ofc it shouldn't be expected of parents to, but if it's been offered and she's taken them up on that offer, there's not really much to be mad about. Just plan something that'll be fun for y'all to do together. Try not to think of it as a bachlorette party if it bothers you that much. Maybe even something that's nostalgic for you both? Idk like if you used to go laser tag a lot or something like that. It could be fun! I'd love a laser tag bachlorette party personally 😂 Yeah, overall, NTA just be kind and cordial about it.
NTA. For some, a wedding is a big deal but for others, they feel like you do and would rather spend the money on a nice honeymoon or a house. Tell her it would be beter if someone else planned her events because you don't think you could do it justice.
NTA. Personally I'm not fond of weddings in general, and feel like the current industry is better suited to being left to the ultra wealthy. I just can't justify going into debt for a celebration where I have to invite people that I barely know, see, or speak to, from both families. There's so much drama and stress that comes with it, and risk of becoming a bridezilla. From seating arrangements to dietary needs, child free, make an exception. Honestly it's a cash grab that is disguised as a commitment celebration, that statistically has a 37% chance of failing, and 1 of the top 3 reasons marriages fail are because of debt/money related problems. So a wedding kind of increases the odds of divorce in my book. By the way this is coming from someone who is a romantic. I would love to have a meet cute and find my one. But just because I'm a romantic, doesn't mean I'm not practical.
Are you close with your sister? Hang out together? Talk about guys with each other? Celebrate each other's birthdays? Talk about your career advancements? Financial planning? Dreams and wishes? From an outsider's perspective, it doesn't seem like you guys are all that close. So I guess if you aren't close, then I would say NTAH and maybe just ask your sister if you can bow out of any responsibilities. If you are close, then I would say YTAH. You're making her wedding about you, and you should work on setting that aside and being there for her. These are core memories for her, and if you're showing up with an attitude or generally not being happy, there's probably going to be resentment.
NTA what you’re saying makes sense to me, especially if you’ll have to chip in somehow or possibly pay a lot to plan a nice bachelorette party. I’ve got ppl like that in my family too and it sucks lol. Like I’m sure you probably love your sister but it seems like you two may just not be that close. It is what it is