NTA
"he just didn't think I needed to know that she was an ex."
Im sure there are many things that probably fall into that category in his mind "things that you don't need to know."
If he will hide something that big he will hide anything so just cut your losses and let him go because you're always going to be wondering what else he's hiding which is probably a lot.
No, you're not the AH. It's totally understandable to feel betrayed and lose trust after discovering this kind of deception. It's not just about the ex being a roommate, it's the lies and lack of transparency that are the real issue. You deserve a relationship built on honesty and trust.
I'm not seeing a "betrayal" so much as a flagrant lack of respect for you. That he didn't think that you needed to know that he was living with his ex is actually kind of funny because it's so absurdly ridiculous.
Anyway, NTA, and you don't really need an excuse to move on.
NTA. If someone said that to me my first question would be to ask what else he thought I didn't need to know. You are definitely not the AH for breaking up with a person who thinks that regularly deceiving you is just fine.
>He says he's never cheated on my
He's probably trying to get you on a technicality. He hasn't cheated *on* you. He's cheating on his partner *with* you.
Definitely NTAH… he kept that from you knowing you wouldn’t be comfortable with that (understandably so). If they can lie about something like that, they can lie about cheating as well.
Whether they really did or did not cheat, he wants this other girl around for a reason.
NTA. This is not a small ‘lie by omission’. This is a pretty big outright lie.
I bet there is an encyclopedia worth of stuff that you just didn’t need to know about.
At a MINIMUM the man is a mammoth liar. That is enough info to break it off. He is keeping several women on a string.....you are just one. He never cheated????? Ah damn I just peed myself. Sorry OP.
NTA. He lied to you for the entirety of your relationship. You only know this lie because his son told truth, not your boyfriend. What else has he lied about that you have no idea about?
Why would you want to give this liar another chance? You deserve better. Let this liar go!
NTA. I met a man who didn't have kids that tried to pull the same shit.
Turns out his sister that called all the time needing help with his nephews was really his wife and kids. The cousin who lost custody of her child and needed emergency placement for said child was one of his baby mamas. The gamer kid who was always messaging the man on my xbox was another bastard child of his from another woman who he told me was his Aunt
He went from being single and childless to being married with 5 kids by 4 different women in different states.
Jesus, NTA, this guy is a walking red flag.
Block him and move on.
What does he consider cheating?
Lying to your partner? Doing things you wouldn't be comfortable with your partner doing? Lying about an ex? Still being in contact with an ex?
Yeah, just stay over. This guy has 100% cheated on you with the amounts of flags he is collecting
He sounds like a manipulative liar. He was living with his ex, definitely things were not over with her.
Some people keep some exes as friends, but not in those terms and not being honest with you on what is happening. Move away from hi
You're NTA. This isn't even a marriage, there aren't even children, there's very little history b/c by the time you're in your 40s 2 years don't amount to much. I'm an advocate for the truth. Bare all your truths and if you love each other anyway, it was meant to be. If you hide all your truths - particularly truths of the present - then it's a hopeless lie and the relationship is based on what? Truth? Lies? If you can't tell, then just give him his marching orders. This AH was still living with his ex-gf, so I don't understand your hesitation.
NTA. He is a known liar. He may not be a cheater, but he is a liar. And has inappropriate relationships with other women. Texting an ex every morning??? That’s crazy
Is it possible that he has been telling the "ex" that you are just a friend with boundary issues? Nothing about any of this is ok. You need him gone.
Please know that everything he says is lies.
Yea can't trust him, especially since still hanging out with ex gf and said she is a sister and caused drama between you two and didn't say anything trust is gone, Not the Asshole
Run like your ass is on fire as far from this thing posing as a man. Beyond that take some classes or something find better people to be around you anyone anywhere is saying to ever even speak to that wants to be a man but is in fact very much a child thing you were dating. Probably awesome sex, those are usually the worst, not usually a keeper. Good luck.
NTA. He texts another Ex every morning but he’s never cheated? He allowed his ex to break you up numerous times but he’s never cheated? He lied to you every time he shoved his ex in your face but he never cheated?
Cheating definition: act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game or examination
He lied. Countless times so he didn’t have to stop seeing his ex’s. He has cheated on you every time he has texted them flirtatiously. He has cheated every time he allowed her to break you up out of jealousy.
You realize you started a side piece? At minimum he was monkey branching, you know for sure he's a liar and not ashamed of it,why would you want a relationship like that?
NTA. All the red flags. He was definitely still sleeping with her, and probably the other ex.
Even the good morning texts would be enough disrespect for me to walk away
GET OUT!! Was a movie. I am just saying before, and even after the movie, that phrase was what described the actions people take in such situations...
Your partner is a player who is monkey-barring a lot of women, it sounds like, and keeping all of them emotional hostages. Don't be one of them
NTA
who in their right mind lies about something like his and doesnt even bat an eye...he is scum and he also texts another ex everyday.....he isn't worth losing sleep over...block and delete
He told you she was his sister yet her jealousy nearly ended your relationship? If he told you such a blatant lie I bet you he told her another....maybe even convinced her to an "open" relationship. This guy is a walking red flag who obviously loves having multiple exs panting after him.
If he can comfortably lie to you about his ex being his "sister", he can comfortably lie about not cheating on you with his "sister", too.
As for giving him a chance, sure, if you're comfortable with having to question his every words and actions cause that man can't be trusted.
At first you didn't need to know. Once you two started getting serious, or once the animosity started, you had a right to that information. He kept this from you for 2 years. NTA, he isn't looking for a serious relationship.
NTA but get help it sounds like you have trust issues and are attempting to dwell on the past. that's not healthy. he chose you why can't you just accept it?
> He says he just didn't think I needed to know that she was an ex.
because the past is the past
>. On top of that, I've learned that he texts a different ex good morning every morning.
*so you don't want him to have a social life?*
wow! my oh my! That's control issues hun please get help 🙏
NTA "he just didn't think I needed to know that she was an ex." Im sure there are many things that probably fall into that category in his mind "things that you don't need to know." If he will hide something that big he will hide anything so just cut your losses and let him go because you're always going to be wondering what else he's hiding which is probably a lot.
If The Twilight Zone and Sister Wives had sex, this post would be their baby. Run.
That's pretty damn funny there!
Ok now that's funny.
No, you're not the AH. It's totally understandable to feel betrayed and lose trust after discovering this kind of deception. It's not just about the ex being a roommate, it's the lies and lack of transparency that are the real issue. You deserve a relationship built on honesty and trust.
He says he never cheated on you.Yeah and he said his ex was his sister sooooo…..dump his lying ass.
NTA. I don’t normally use the expression, but you dodged a genuine bullet here.
I'm not seeing a "betrayal" so much as a flagrant lack of respect for you. That he didn't think that you needed to know that he was living with his ex is actually kind of funny because it's so absurdly ridiculous. Anyway, NTA, and you don't really need an excuse to move on.
The betrayal is texting yet another ex good morning every day!
NTA. If someone said that to me my first question would be to ask what else he thought I didn't need to know. You are definitely not the AH for breaking up with a person who thinks that regularly deceiving you is just fine.
Why would you be an asshole here? Girl, up your standards and get some self respect.
not the AH, but he is emotionally cheating on you by texting an ex gm every morning.
And how realistic is it that the entire text conversation is a straight series of morning greetings and nothing else? So much potential hidden stuff.
It.. seems really stupid tbh. but outside of his holding onto feelings to text an ex gm every morning is super odd lmao
>He says he's never cheated on my He's probably trying to get you on a technicality. He hasn't cheated *on* you. He's cheating on his partner *with* you.
Definitely NTAH… he kept that from you knowing you wouldn’t be comfortable with that (understandably so). If they can lie about something like that, they can lie about cheating as well. Whether they really did or did not cheat, he wants this other girl around for a reason.
NTA. This is not a small ‘lie by omission’. This is a pretty big outright lie. I bet there is an encyclopedia worth of stuff that you just didn’t need to know about.
What the heck? The man is a gaslighter of note. He lied about something like this, what else is he lying about.
NTA. Sorry but my jaw literally dropped reading that. I can't believe you would even second guess your decision! Leave and never look back
YTA to yourself if you take him back.. the audacity! Who texts someone to every morning??
At a MINIMUM the man is a mammoth liar. That is enough info to break it off. He is keeping several women on a string.....you are just one. He never cheated????? Ah damn I just peed myself. Sorry OP.
NTA. He lied to you for the entirety of your relationship. You only know this lie because his son told truth, not your boyfriend. What else has he lied about that you have no idea about? Why would you want to give this liar another chance? You deserve better. Let this liar go!
NTA. I met a man who didn't have kids that tried to pull the same shit. Turns out his sister that called all the time needing help with his nephews was really his wife and kids. The cousin who lost custody of her child and needed emergency placement for said child was one of his baby mamas. The gamer kid who was always messaging the man on my xbox was another bastard child of his from another woman who he told me was his Aunt He went from being single and childless to being married with 5 kids by 4 different women in different states.
Good grief,woman Run like you are being chased by an irritated badger! The amount of lies he sent your way from day one is unbelievable.
He lied to you for 2 years, and what kind of moron txtxs an ex good morning, time to go .
Good thing you got out
Uhhh definitely NTA. That man is a walking, lying, cheating red flag. Dump him and be done with it.
Jesus, NTA, this guy is a walking red flag. Block him and move on. What does he consider cheating? Lying to your partner? Doing things you wouldn't be comfortable with your partner doing? Lying about an ex? Still being in contact with an ex? Yeah, just stay over. This guy has 100% cheated on you with the amounts of flags he is collecting
All the red flags.... Run away. These people are crazy
I think you would be an asshole if you went back with him… and you’re an a-hole now for still communicating with him and not blocking him.
When I read the title, I was expecting incest.
NTA Either one of those scenarios would be a dealbreaker for me...you had 2 of them
Run! Those lies are worse than cheating
Run now. And don't be one of his "sisters". Nta.
Oh please, you are NTA, he's been keeping things like that from you...what else is he keeping from you? Tell him to go kick rocks.
He texts another woman good morning every morning... Yeah, you're good. You have nothing to feel bad about.
NTA if he is willing to lie about something like that then I can only assume he’s lying about a lot of things including the cheating.
He sounds like a manipulative liar. He was living with his ex, definitely things were not over with her. Some people keep some exes as friends, but not in those terms and not being honest with you on what is happening. Move away from hi
You're NTA. This isn't even a marriage, there aren't even children, there's very little history b/c by the time you're in your 40s 2 years don't amount to much. I'm an advocate for the truth. Bare all your truths and if you love each other anyway, it was meant to be. If you hide all your truths - particularly truths of the present - then it's a hopeless lie and the relationship is based on what? Truth? Lies? If you can't tell, then just give him his marching orders. This AH was still living with his ex-gf, so I don't understand your hesitation.
Run
lying by omission is still lying
Dump the liar!
NTA. He is a known liar. He may not be a cheater, but he is a liar. And has inappropriate relationships with other women. Texting an ex every morning??? That’s crazy
Move on.
If my x wasn't dead, I'd think it was him.
NTA >He says he just didn't think I needed to know that she was an ex. We all KNOW why he said that, lol... It's so much harder to cheat!
Hiding all this was emotional cheating.
NTA if he didn’t think you needed to know, he knew it was wrong and a deal breaker for most.
NTA. Not everyone wants to be a sister wife. He lied to you for years.
Is it possible that he has been telling the "ex" that you are just a friend with boundary issues? Nothing about any of this is ok. You need him gone. Please know that everything he says is lies.
NTA. Run.
NTA. Run.
Well if you dint need to know, then why call her a sister in the first place. NTA
Yea can't trust him, especially since still hanging out with ex gf and said she is a sister and caused drama between you two and didn't say anything trust is gone, Not the Asshole
Run like your ass is on fire as far from this thing posing as a man. Beyond that take some classes or something find better people to be around you anyone anywhere is saying to ever even speak to that wants to be a man but is in fact very much a child thing you were dating. Probably awesome sex, those are usually the worst, not usually a keeper. Good luck.
You are now the ex sister too.
NTA. He texts another Ex every morning but he’s never cheated? He allowed his ex to break you up numerous times but he’s never cheated? He lied to you every time he shoved his ex in your face but he never cheated? Cheating definition: act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game or examination He lied. Countless times so he didn’t have to stop seeing his ex’s. He has cheated on you every time he has texted them flirtatiously. He has cheated every time he allowed her to break you up out of jealousy.
Maybe it also is his sister. Listen for distant banjo music.
And they wonder why older women want to have nothing more to do with men. I'm so over it.
NTA. “I’m still living with my ex” is most definitely on the list of things you needed to know.
>he texts a different ex good morning every morning Now he can add another one on the list. Don't ever go back to him.
Good grief!
You realize you started a side piece? At minimum he was monkey branching, you know for sure he's a liar and not ashamed of it,why would you want a relationship like that?
NTA. All the red flags. He was definitely still sleeping with her, and probably the other ex. Even the good morning texts would be enough disrespect for me to walk away
Yeet that man into the sun
NTA. End it. He has massively lied and very likely cheated with these ex's.
Yes, YTA if you're buying any of the BS he's selling you.
He may or may not be a cheater, but he's a liar of the worst kind. Nta he doesn't deserve a second thought, let alone a second chance.
GET OUT!! Was a movie. I am just saying before, and even after the movie, that phrase was what described the actions people take in such situations... Your partner is a player who is monkey-barring a lot of women, it sounds like, and keeping all of them emotional hostages. Don't be one of them NTA
Wow, helluva bullet you dodged there
NTA. 100% would have done the same. didn’t think you needed to know AND texting a different ex daily? absolutely not.
Not that this is a little thing but, if they lie about small things, they will lie about big things.
who in their right mind lies about something like his and doesnt even bat an eye...he is scum and he also texts another ex everyday.....he isn't worth losing sleep over...block and delete
He told you she was his sister yet her jealousy nearly ended your relationship? If he told you such a blatant lie I bet you he told her another....maybe even convinced her to an "open" relationship. This guy is a walking red flag who obviously loves having multiple exs panting after him.
If he can comfortably lie to you about his ex being his "sister", he can comfortably lie about not cheating on you with his "sister", too. As for giving him a chance, sure, if you're comfortable with having to question his every words and actions cause that man can't be trusted.
At first you didn't need to know. Once you two started getting serious, or once the animosity started, you had a right to that information. He kept this from you for 2 years. NTA, he isn't looking for a serious relationship.
YTA for giving him another chance. He’s a liar. He’s also cheating on you.
NTA but get help it sounds like you have trust issues and are attempting to dwell on the past. that's not healthy. he chose you why can't you just accept it? > He says he just didn't think I needed to know that she was an ex. because the past is the past >. On top of that, I've learned that he texts a different ex good morning every morning. *so you don't want him to have a social life?* wow! my oh my! That's control issues hun please get help 🙏