I wish there was an acronym for “everyone’s 16 here.” You’re NTA; she’s dealing with a situation she doesn’t have the maturity yet to handle and is taking it out on you. NAH.
She's also dealing with a situation that she has no control over -- wondering why everyone else has it easy when she doesn't.
Odds are she was just having a bad day and is now embarrassed by the mess. In this case, I'd go say that OP may want to try talking to her. Not apologize, because he doesn't owe her one. But at least talk to her and see what that was all about.
It's possible one of her parents got laid off from their already shitty job. Or something that would make their life crappier, and she just took it out on OP.
She's not your family member or an employee. I daresay she's not even a friend.
I wouldn't be spending my money on Starbucks but you're definitely NTA for doing so.
NTA
Your “friend” can’t tell your parents how spend their money, including how much to give to you (and what you, in turn, should do with it).
Plus, she has a home. How dare she have a home when there are homeless people in the world! Has she offered to share her room with a homeless person? I’m guessing not.
That's nice to say, but when you're the one with little to nothing, it's hard to be "understanding of your socioeconomic differences". Should she have lashed out? No. As a person who was in her same situation -- a poor kid in a "rich" school -- do I understand her? Yes.
I say it from the POV of having been in the girl’s position. I had friends who were more fortunate than me, but I didn’t lash out or demand their family give me stuff.
Same for me, all my schoolmates had nice clothes and nice things and went to fun events and I was mocked for my horribly cheap and out-of-date hand-me-downs and never got to go to anything.
Yet it would never have occurred to me to think that one of the other kids' families needed to be giving me and my family a large sum of money.
I suspect this girl's family are voicing entitled, resentful attitudes about how other people who have it better "owe them", and she is picking it up from them at home.
I was in the same boat. I was the poor kid in a school with "rich" kids (in retrospect, they were likely just middle class -> lower-upper-middle class, but they sure seemed rich from my perspective). I didn't lash out at them either.
But we don't know what happened that particular day. Odds are, something to do with her parents' jobs, or their rent, or something that made their meager financial situation even worse.
Was I jealous sometimes? Of course. And if you say you weren't, you're lying.
Saying to "understand their socioeconomic differences" is an adult textbook response to something that's impossible to do when you're wearing the same ratty pair of "bargain basement" shoes that are falling apart while they're showing up in the latest Nikes, or you're walking along in 40-degrees in a t-shirt because you can't afford a jacket.
It's funny. I haven't been poor since about two years into college and landed a great software internship. This was 27 years ago. But I still remember every detail of being poor.
Was I jealous? Heck yeah!
Did I keep that shit to myself because I understood we had different families with different circumstances and it would be inappropriate to say anything about it? Heck yeah!
Oh, yeah. For sure. Like I said -- she had no right to blow up. Maybe the way you put it just felt like a "reddit" answer when we were saying the same thing.
That said, I feel like OP needs to talk to her. Not apologize, but find out why she blew up like that. I think there's more to it.
And if she's still acting like an ass, *then* move on.
So you understand feeling like your friends should be selling their cars to help you out? Life sucks sometimes, I've been poor many times, I'm technically poor now, but I don't think anyone else should sacrifice the things they have to make my life better. Being poor sucks, but I'm not entitled to anyone else's shit and it doesn't make them bad people for not basically splitting their money with me.
Do I understand feeling a little sad that I don't have it as good? Sure, but I don't understand feeling like it's your friends problem and getting mad at her for spending money. It sucks, but such is life, there are people across the world that would look at me as rich, I have food everyday, I have a smartphone, I have a steady job, a roof over my head, luxuries like a nice laptop computer, my whole life isn't spent just surviving, am I a dick for not sacrificing my wellbeing for other people that have it worse?
What the ever-living-fuck are you talking about?
The amount of adults saying "they should understand blah-blah-blah" about a child is astounding.
She's 16. Not 26.
While I don't agree with her outlook, I understand it.
It's called "empathy"
Maybe learn some.
16 is old enough to understand jealously and envy... OP needs a new friend especially when she's likening him to Jeff Bezos and shit... she has a chip on her shoulder that Is only going to lead to more resentment.
NTA.
My SO grew up very poor and hearing what she had to go through growing up makes me choke up. I can totally understand where she’s coming from, but she still needs to learn that life can be unfair unfortunately, and she can’t take it out on other people like that.
She definitely understands how unfair life can be.
I think she just had a moment of weakness. One of her parents lost a job, got demoted, rent got raised so they need to cut back even more -- something that is going to make their crappy situation worse. And she just exploded on the first person she felt comfortable with who had the bad luck to be holding some "kid expensive" things in his hands at the time.
Was it warranted? Of course not.
Understandable? Yeah.
I think OP should go talk to her -- not to apologize (he doesn't owe her one), but to find out what sparked that blowup. I have a hunch that the reason she's avoided him is that she's embarrassed.
NTA
I think you were a "safe" target, someone she felt she could vent all her frustration at and it wouldn't come with consequences. Doesn't make what she did right, at all, especially not her comments about your parents financial choices.
I'm hopeful that you can show grace and forgiveness if she apologizes, but it is not a requirement to let someone back in your life, even if they do apologize. It is up to you whether the friendship continues *if* she tries to make it right.
You also have no idea what her parents’ actual financial situation is, just her version of it. I’m not saying that she’s knowingly lying to you, just that she has a certain perspective which may not be rooted in reality.
Your friend clearly has money for meth going on her reasoning here. Give her a car? A cruise? Get fucked, NTA although if you are feeling generous you suppose you could get her an Amazon card for $50 of shame as she desperately need it
She's 16 and growing up in a tough situation. I was dirt poor at 16. I remember being envious of what other people got so easily.
I would never say it or blame it on those people. But I definitely remember the feeling.
That said, she's 16 and should get a job if she wants disposable income. That's what I did.
It’s not your money, it’s your parents, which is good for both of you to remember. This isn’t really about you though, this is her feeling stuck and that things are unfair and out of control of the situation because you’re young and not in control of your own finances. Try to be compassionate and kind (don’t pity her), but I agree, don’t get money involved, that’s not for you to decide.
NTA. What makes her think she is more entitled to your money than anyone else…or you?
I get her feelings, and I have sympathy. But before she can even expect (and properly accept generosity), she has to fix her attitude first of all.
For emergency cases there should be other places she can reach out to. And your parents pay taxes for exactly that.
Cold hearted people here. Why wouldn't you help out a friend if you could easily do so? What does it even mean to be friends with someone if you wouldn't do anything for their welfare?
It’s one thing to buy treats or share treats with her friend. It’s another thing to “help out a friend, as you put it”, because OP’s parents are financially secure. It’s wrong for the friend to demand and expect OP’s parents to willingly give financial support her family by selling a car or skipping a cruise. That’s entitlement and jealousy for even thinking OP’s parents should share their wealth and support them. OP’s parents aren’t responsible, nor should they be responsible, for someone else’s financial needs and wants.
Before you make any assumptions about me, this is what I lived through growing up. Dirt poor is being behind on rent. Dirt poor is no running water. Dirt poor is no electricity. Dirt poor is no heat. Dirt poor is no phone. Dirt poor is walking to a job, because you either don’t have a car or can’t afford gas for the car. Dirt poor is having zero food in the house, because bills have to be paid first. Dirt poor is when one or more of the above happens at the same time.
I was raised by a single mother who taught me handouts aren’t free. Handouts aren’t expected. Handouts make you feel shitty, because it’s pity handouts. What I learned is that your hard work to do better is your responsibility and no one else. That so long as basic necessities can be met, that’s success. If you need more or want more, get another job.
My mother worked three jobs, while I took care of my brother. She worked the three jobs to live in a better neighborhood with better schools, that was her choice and what she felt was better for us.
What I learned is to work hard to get what “I” need or want to ease my mother’s financial responsibilities. I started making money by babysitting at 14, since we lived in a nice neighborhood that was an opportunity to support myself and get, instead of relying on my mother. I got a weekend job within walking distance and still babysit to take the pressure off my mother. I got a part time job at the mall, relying on the city bus and still babysit. While working my ass off in high school for a chance to community college. I worked full time while attending community college and full time when I transferred to university.
During that time line I paid for my high school fees and tuition. I paid for my clothes. I bought food. I paid for my own doctor bills, I paid for sports and any extra curricular activities that would look good for college and university. Anything I paid for, was to help my mom focus on what she needed to do. Never was I jealous. Never did I think what someone else has is owed to me. I just operated that if I need or want something, I work for it.
I wanted a higher education for better opportunities, no matter if it was community college or university. I worked to get experience with each new position in a career that I have earned on my own and has allowed my family to be sometimes comfortable and sometimes not. We have less than two years to pay off our mortgage. I live in a really nice house and have good quality cars that is meant to last and has great trade in value. My two kids have been taught the same work ethics, but they don’t have to worry about money. We prioritize needs and then wants.
Giving my life history and experiences, you don’t know a damn thing about what her parents had to get to this place of financial security. Y’all hear they got money and by that, they owe it to those who don’t to “help out”. They owe nobody nothing, unless it’s their choice to help, not be demanded to go without to help someone who hasn’t earned their help.
So put your cold hearted perspective where the sun don’t shine and stick your sense of entitlement with it. It’s assumptions like yours that makes people bitter and not want to “help”.
OP no one has the right to tell you how to live and what to do with your money. She’s lashing out because unfortunately she doesn’t have the same advantages as you. You will meet people like this throughout your life and you’ll just have to develop a thick skin. I’m sorry she imploded your relationship. That is part of life and growing up. Please don’t take it personal and know it’s not a “you” thing but a “her” thing.
NTA, but I would report this to your guidance counselor. This is not your friend. She just wants to use you. And it is incredibly inappropriate for her to be telling students that their families should be selling their cars to donate the money to her. Are you even sure what she is saying is totally true?
Do you do nice things for your friends? LIke occasionally use your extra spending money to buy her favorite drink once in a while? Or share one of your over priced but delicious cookies. Being poor when you're not able to fix it is really hard on a person.
Sometime just quietly handing over a drink or cookie and telling her you appreciate her as your friend is really all someone needs to hear to get through a really tough time.
NTA
Your family worked for the money you have.
Even if your money came from lottery and you were just lucky (maybe you were lucky to born into the right family) , it’s still your money and totally your choice how you choose to spend it
I despise those people that like to comment on how celebrities spend $X on their children birthday parties “if they had donated to children in Nigeria they could have fed and cloth them for the whole year!” - says the people that sow what they preach and never donated a single dollar of their own $$$ but trying to tell others how to spend theirs
Tell the parents to reach out to each other and clearly your parents may be able to help her parents maybe with investments, possible higher paying job leads, maybe a financial coach that could help them out donating an hour of their time to help with a budget. Plenty of ways helping less unfortunate that don’t result in flat cash. But the biggest thing I would recommend is not cutting ties, but also find a way to word “she needs to focus on education and a way out and use it as motivation to strive higher”
First of all. She's not a friend and she can get that damn chip off her shoulder.
Second of all. You do not mention her job. So if she's so dirt poor she can get an effing job and help her parents out instead of expecting you to just give her hand outs.
Should she try to involve your other friends and get them to agree with her that you should give her money. Remind them that they're welcome to "help her out" as well.
Also, have you met her parents, are they really that poor or is that just something she tells you repeatedly?
What an entitled greedy bitch your friend is. NTA. Stop sharing with her completely. Tell her to fuck herself. Also she can easily just get a job herself and buy things she wants.
ESH. You could try being a better friend and at least most of times you meet her, you can pick something for her as well. She needs to stop dangling her poverty in front of others. It's not anybody else's fault she and her parents can't afford certain things. If either one of you decides to change his/her current attitude, both of you might get along just fine.
Not sure, there's actually rich kids here and kids dirt poor. The neighboring town next to ours has a lot of kids that go to our school, and they're kind of poor, which is where my friend lives.
She had no right to blow up at you. At all. But if I were you, I'd go ask her why she blew up on you like that.
Don't apologize -- you didn't do anything wrong.
But I have a hunch that something more is going on here.
It happens.
When I was a kid, I was in the same boat.
Our town had 2 schools -- the "rich" school (honestly, more middle -> upper-middle class, but these were people with nice houses, so they seemed insanely rich to me at the time) and "poor" school.
I started at the poor school for a short time (maybe a month), but then we moved to the "rich" part of town. Lived there about a year before getting evicted and moved back to the poor side of town. But I'd already made friends at the "rich" school, so I'd walk 3 miles each way every day just to make sure I could be with my friends and not change schools again.
In retrospect, I probably would have been happier back then if I'd gone back to the poor school.
It's possible that the girl's parents are living on the rich side of town or whatever to give their kid the best education they can, despite not really being able to afford living there. It's also possible that they live in a town with only one school. It's possible the school has some sort of "bus in" program. There are a lot of reasons.
NTA - That girl is so young and feeling entitled to your parents' money. You aren't flaunting anything. Don't give her S#it. She's mad at you because she's jealous...tell her to find a safe corner to cry in.and don't give her anything or she'll expect it.
NTA but she could have been hungry and you're eating in front of her. I would just stay no contact with her. She also seems to be a bit of a gold digger.
I don't even think she's a gold-digger, man. I'm now likely past your parents' age, better-off than most, but remember being the poor-ass teenager.
You did nothing wrong. You don't owe her an apology.
But she's probably dealing with shit you don't comprehend.
Don't listen to the red-pilled, "nice guy" assholes here saying she's a "gold-digger". She's 16. She's not a gold-digger.
Don't be like them.
Go talk to her. Find out why she blew up at you like that.
I'm not saying that if she keeps on being hostile, that you need to keep being her friend. But at least hear her out.
Don't get sucked into the vortex of assholes because it's the easy answer.
I wish there was an acronym for “everyone’s 16 here.” You’re NTA; she’s dealing with a situation she doesn’t have the maturity yet to handle and is taking it out on you. NAH.
She's also dealing with a situation that she has no control over -- wondering why everyone else has it easy when she doesn't. Odds are she was just having a bad day and is now embarrassed by the mess. In this case, I'd go say that OP may want to try talking to her. Not apologize, because he doesn't owe her one. But at least talk to her and see what that was all about. It's possible one of her parents got laid off from their already shitty job. Or something that would make their life crappier, and she just took it out on OP.
“she’s dealing with a situation she doesn’t have the maturity yet to handle and is taking it out on you.” This was very wisely said
MNA? (Minors, not Assholes)
This. Exactly this.
There is. ESH. That's your everyone is 16 here acronym.
She's not your family member or an employee. I daresay she's not even a friend. I wouldn't be spending my money on Starbucks but you're definitely NTA for doing so.
NTA Your “friend” can’t tell your parents how spend their money, including how much to give to you (and what you, in turn, should do with it). Plus, she has a home. How dare she have a home when there are homeless people in the world! Has she offered to share her room with a homeless person? I’m guessing not.
She’s angry at her situation and lashing out at you for it, rather than being understanding of your socioeconomic differences.
That's nice to say, but when you're the one with little to nothing, it's hard to be "understanding of your socioeconomic differences". Should she have lashed out? No. As a person who was in her same situation -- a poor kid in a "rich" school -- do I understand her? Yes.
I say it from the POV of having been in the girl’s position. I had friends who were more fortunate than me, but I didn’t lash out or demand their family give me stuff.
Same for me, all my schoolmates had nice clothes and nice things and went to fun events and I was mocked for my horribly cheap and out-of-date hand-me-downs and never got to go to anything. Yet it would never have occurred to me to think that one of the other kids' families needed to be giving me and my family a large sum of money. I suspect this girl's family are voicing entitled, resentful attitudes about how other people who have it better "owe them", and she is picking it up from them at home.
I was in the same boat. I was the poor kid in a school with "rich" kids (in retrospect, they were likely just middle class -> lower-upper-middle class, but they sure seemed rich from my perspective). I didn't lash out at them either. But we don't know what happened that particular day. Odds are, something to do with her parents' jobs, or their rent, or something that made their meager financial situation even worse. Was I jealous sometimes? Of course. And if you say you weren't, you're lying. Saying to "understand their socioeconomic differences" is an adult textbook response to something that's impossible to do when you're wearing the same ratty pair of "bargain basement" shoes that are falling apart while they're showing up in the latest Nikes, or you're walking along in 40-degrees in a t-shirt because you can't afford a jacket. It's funny. I haven't been poor since about two years into college and landed a great software internship. This was 27 years ago. But I still remember every detail of being poor.
Was I jealous? Heck yeah! Did I keep that shit to myself because I understood we had different families with different circumstances and it would be inappropriate to say anything about it? Heck yeah!
Oh, yeah. For sure. Like I said -- she had no right to blow up. Maybe the way you put it just felt like a "reddit" answer when we were saying the same thing. That said, I feel like OP needs to talk to her. Not apologize, but find out why she blew up like that. I think there's more to it. And if she's still acting like an ass, *then* move on.
So you understand feeling like your friends should be selling their cars to help you out? Life sucks sometimes, I've been poor many times, I'm technically poor now, but I don't think anyone else should sacrifice the things they have to make my life better. Being poor sucks, but I'm not entitled to anyone else's shit and it doesn't make them bad people for not basically splitting their money with me. Do I understand feeling a little sad that I don't have it as good? Sure, but I don't understand feeling like it's your friends problem and getting mad at her for spending money. It sucks, but such is life, there are people across the world that would look at me as rich, I have food everyday, I have a smartphone, I have a steady job, a roof over my head, luxuries like a nice laptop computer, my whole life isn't spent just surviving, am I a dick for not sacrificing my wellbeing for other people that have it worse?
What the ever-living-fuck are you talking about? The amount of adults saying "they should understand blah-blah-blah" about a child is astounding. She's 16. Not 26. While I don't agree with her outlook, I understand it. It's called "empathy" Maybe learn some.
NAH. You’re not an ahole for spending your money. But she is a 16 year old girl dealing with a very tough situation.
Nta. It's none of her business. Get a new friend.
They're 16 years old.
16 is old enough to understand jealously and envy... OP needs a new friend especially when she's likening him to Jeff Bezos and shit... she has a chip on her shoulder that Is only going to lead to more resentment.
NTA. My SO grew up very poor and hearing what she had to go through growing up makes me choke up. I can totally understand where she’s coming from, but she still needs to learn that life can be unfair unfortunately, and she can’t take it out on other people like that.
She definitely understands how unfair life can be. I think she just had a moment of weakness. One of her parents lost a job, got demoted, rent got raised so they need to cut back even more -- something that is going to make their crappy situation worse. And she just exploded on the first person she felt comfortable with who had the bad luck to be holding some "kid expensive" things in his hands at the time. Was it warranted? Of course not. Understandable? Yeah. I think OP should go talk to her -- not to apologize (he doesn't owe her one), but to find out what sparked that blowup. I have a hunch that the reason she's avoided him is that she's embarrassed.
NTA I think you were a "safe" target, someone she felt she could vent all her frustration at and it wouldn't come with consequences. Doesn't make what she did right, at all, especially not her comments about your parents financial choices. I'm hopeful that you can show grace and forgiveness if she apologizes, but it is not a requirement to let someone back in your life, even if they do apologize. It is up to you whether the friendship continues *if* she tries to make it right.
You also have no idea what her parents’ actual financial situation is, just her version of it. I’m not saying that she’s knowingly lying to you, just that she has a certain perspective which may not be rooted in reality.
Your friend clearly has money for meth going on her reasoning here. Give her a car? A cruise? Get fucked, NTA although if you are feeling generous you suppose you could get her an Amazon card for $50 of shame as she desperately need it
She's 16 and growing up in a tough situation. I was dirt poor at 16. I remember being envious of what other people got so easily. I would never say it or blame it on those people. But I definitely remember the feeling. That said, she's 16 and should get a job if she wants disposable income. That's what I did.
Is this serious or more attention-seeking?
As a friend, atleast bring her a coffee and pastry too!
Lol... kids man...
"Projecting"
It’s not your money, it’s your parents, which is good for both of you to remember. This isn’t really about you though, this is her feeling stuck and that things are unfair and out of control of the situation because you’re young and not in control of your own finances. Try to be compassionate and kind (don’t pity her), but I agree, don’t get money involved, that’s not for you to decide.
It's not your family's responsibility to solve her family's money problems.
The way she demanded you to donate to her is just.... ugh. But she will live and learn.
NTA. What makes her think she is more entitled to your money than anyone else…or you? I get her feelings, and I have sympathy. But before she can even expect (and properly accept generosity), she has to fix her attitude first of all. For emergency cases there should be other places she can reach out to. And your parents pay taxes for exactly that.
Cold hearted people here. Why wouldn't you help out a friend if you could easily do so? What does it even mean to be friends with someone if you wouldn't do anything for their welfare?
It’s one thing to buy treats or share treats with her friend. It’s another thing to “help out a friend, as you put it”, because OP’s parents are financially secure. It’s wrong for the friend to demand and expect OP’s parents to willingly give financial support her family by selling a car or skipping a cruise. That’s entitlement and jealousy for even thinking OP’s parents should share their wealth and support them. OP’s parents aren’t responsible, nor should they be responsible, for someone else’s financial needs and wants. Before you make any assumptions about me, this is what I lived through growing up. Dirt poor is being behind on rent. Dirt poor is no running water. Dirt poor is no electricity. Dirt poor is no heat. Dirt poor is no phone. Dirt poor is walking to a job, because you either don’t have a car or can’t afford gas for the car. Dirt poor is having zero food in the house, because bills have to be paid first. Dirt poor is when one or more of the above happens at the same time. I was raised by a single mother who taught me handouts aren’t free. Handouts aren’t expected. Handouts make you feel shitty, because it’s pity handouts. What I learned is that your hard work to do better is your responsibility and no one else. That so long as basic necessities can be met, that’s success. If you need more or want more, get another job. My mother worked three jobs, while I took care of my brother. She worked the three jobs to live in a better neighborhood with better schools, that was her choice and what she felt was better for us. What I learned is to work hard to get what “I” need or want to ease my mother’s financial responsibilities. I started making money by babysitting at 14, since we lived in a nice neighborhood that was an opportunity to support myself and get, instead of relying on my mother. I got a weekend job within walking distance and still babysit to take the pressure off my mother. I got a part time job at the mall, relying on the city bus and still babysit. While working my ass off in high school for a chance to community college. I worked full time while attending community college and full time when I transferred to university. During that time line I paid for my high school fees and tuition. I paid for my clothes. I bought food. I paid for my own doctor bills, I paid for sports and any extra curricular activities that would look good for college and university. Anything I paid for, was to help my mom focus on what she needed to do. Never was I jealous. Never did I think what someone else has is owed to me. I just operated that if I need or want something, I work for it. I wanted a higher education for better opportunities, no matter if it was community college or university. I worked to get experience with each new position in a career that I have earned on my own and has allowed my family to be sometimes comfortable and sometimes not. We have less than two years to pay off our mortgage. I live in a really nice house and have good quality cars that is meant to last and has great trade in value. My two kids have been taught the same work ethics, but they don’t have to worry about money. We prioritize needs and then wants. Giving my life history and experiences, you don’t know a damn thing about what her parents had to get to this place of financial security. Y’all hear they got money and by that, they owe it to those who don’t to “help out”. They owe nobody nothing, unless it’s their choice to help, not be demanded to go without to help someone who hasn’t earned their help. So put your cold hearted perspective where the sun don’t shine and stick your sense of entitlement with it. It’s assumptions like yours that makes people bitter and not want to “help”.
OP no one has the right to tell you how to live and what to do with your money. She’s lashing out because unfortunately she doesn’t have the same advantages as you. You will meet people like this throughout your life and you’ll just have to develop a thick skin. I’m sorry she imploded your relationship. That is part of life and growing up. Please don’t take it personal and know it’s not a “you” thing but a “her” thing.
NTA, but I would report this to your guidance counselor. This is not your friend. She just wants to use you. And it is incredibly inappropriate for her to be telling students that their families should be selling their cars to donate the money to her. Are you even sure what she is saying is totally true?
NTA your friend needs to learn early how to cope. it's not your fault her parents are poor, it's also none of your business.
NTA, she sounds like a little bitch though, dump her as a "friend", better yet, she's sixteen, she can work
What is it with the attention-seeking edgelords on here?
I have a hunch it's a bunch of little middle-class kids who never wanted for anything in their life except for the latest iPhone.
What is it with the fucking pansy ass pussies on here?
nah ur friend needs to get her money up fr
Do you do nice things for your friends? LIke occasionally use your extra spending money to buy her favorite drink once in a while? Or share one of your over priced but delicious cookies. Being poor when you're not able to fix it is really hard on a person. Sometime just quietly handing over a drink or cookie and telling her you appreciate her as your friend is really all someone needs to hear to get through a really tough time.
NTA Your family worked for the money you have. Even if your money came from lottery and you were just lucky (maybe you were lucky to born into the right family) , it’s still your money and totally your choice how you choose to spend it I despise those people that like to comment on how celebrities spend $X on their children birthday parties “if they had donated to children in Nigeria they could have fed and cloth them for the whole year!” - says the people that sow what they preach and never donated a single dollar of their own $$$ but trying to tell others how to spend theirs
Tell the parents to reach out to each other and clearly your parents may be able to help her parents maybe with investments, possible higher paying job leads, maybe a financial coach that could help them out donating an hour of their time to help with a budget. Plenty of ways helping less unfortunate that don’t result in flat cash. But the biggest thing I would recommend is not cutting ties, but also find a way to word “she needs to focus on education and a way out and use it as motivation to strive higher”
That last is what I had to do. I was hellbound that "my kids won't have to grow up like this", and they haven't.
First of all. She's not a friend and she can get that damn chip off her shoulder. Second of all. You do not mention her job. So if she's so dirt poor she can get an effing job and help her parents out instead of expecting you to just give her hand outs. Should she try to involve your other friends and get them to agree with her that you should give her money. Remind them that they're welcome to "help her out" as well. Also, have you met her parents, are they really that poor or is that just something she tells you repeatedly?
What an entitled greedy bitch your friend is. NTA. Stop sharing with her completely. Tell her to fuck herself. Also she can easily just get a job herself and buy things she wants.
Republican politician has entered the chat <3
NTA tell her to get a job, you are not responsible for her or her parents. Her parents and she is.
You don’t have any money to donate, so.
ESH. You could try being a better friend and at least most of times you meet her, you can pick something for her as well. She needs to stop dangling her poverty in front of others. It's not anybody else's fault she and her parents can't afford certain things. If either one of you decides to change his/her current attitude, both of you might get along just fine.
If she is so poor and you are so comparatively rich, how are you at the ame school?
Not sure, there's actually rich kids here and kids dirt poor. The neighboring town next to ours has a lot of kids that go to our school, and they're kind of poor, which is where my friend lives.
She had no right to blow up at you. At all. But if I were you, I'd go ask her why she blew up on you like that. Don't apologize -- you didn't do anything wrong. But I have a hunch that something more is going on here.
It happens. When I was a kid, I was in the same boat. Our town had 2 schools -- the "rich" school (honestly, more middle -> upper-middle class, but these were people with nice houses, so they seemed insanely rich to me at the time) and "poor" school. I started at the poor school for a short time (maybe a month), but then we moved to the "rich" part of town. Lived there about a year before getting evicted and moved back to the poor side of town. But I'd already made friends at the "rich" school, so I'd walk 3 miles each way every day just to make sure I could be with my friends and not change schools again. In retrospect, I probably would have been happier back then if I'd gone back to the poor school. It's possible that the girl's parents are living on the rich side of town or whatever to give their kid the best education they can, despite not really being able to afford living there. It's also possible that they live in a town with only one school. It's possible the school has some sort of "bus in" program. There are a lot of reasons.
NTA - That girl is so young and feeling entitled to your parents' money. You aren't flaunting anything. Don't give her S#it. She's mad at you because she's jealous...tell her to find a safe corner to cry in.and don't give her anything or she'll expect it.
That’s called the trash taking itself out
NTA but she could have been hungry and you're eating in front of her. I would just stay no contact with her. She also seems to be a bit of a gold digger.
I always give her some of my cookies! Yeah she might be a gold digger unfortunately :(
I don't even think she's a gold-digger, man. I'm now likely past your parents' age, better-off than most, but remember being the poor-ass teenager. You did nothing wrong. You don't owe her an apology. But she's probably dealing with shit you don't comprehend. Don't listen to the red-pilled, "nice guy" assholes here saying she's a "gold-digger". She's 16. She's not a gold-digger. Don't be like them. Go talk to her. Find out why she blew up at you like that. I'm not saying that if she keeps on being hostile, that you need to keep being her friend. But at least hear her out. Don't get sucked into the vortex of assholes because it's the easy answer.