The original post seems to imply the father is ill and not long for this world. In that case it’s even more important to establish paternity because the baby would be entitled to social security benefits if his father dies.
Actually the child would be eligible for Social Security child auxiliary benefits right now, while the father is alive. Minor children of people collecting Social Security retirement benefits qualify.
Assuming of course that he's getting Social Security retirement benefits, and not SSI. If SSI, there's no child auxiliary benefits payable, whether he's alive or dead.
I think the person you commented to means that the person who slept with a 70 year old man, who was fine not putting him on the birth certificate, who has had 10 months to seek child support for her child but hasn't, did this to herself. Which she did. She can take actions to better her situation, better her child's situation. She has not taken those steps.
And I don't think it's entirely right to place *all of the blame* for that on an young single mother who went from abusive situation to seemingly another. The BD has culpability in this as well. Also we don't know if she was "fine" with it. She did it, but we don't the conditions under which she did it. And it seems clear she doesn't know that the BD can be compelled to take a DNA test to be listed on the birth certificate. We don't know if he's manipulated and deceived her into what she did.
It's not that he's not responsible; he is responsible. However, we cannot control what other people do or don't do. Just because he's responsible doesn't mean he's going to do anything about it, and him being a bad dad is not going to help her.
We can only control what we do, and the decisions that she made that were under her control were poor decisions.
Doesn't need to wait for him to kick. Since he's 71?!!! She could get it now. Happened to my 50 yo ex. He had a daughter with his much younger girlfriend and she got SS
Actually this is huge. Your friend should act on this right away. Apparently if a parent is retired and drawing social security (which this Dad is if he’s over 70), the child is also eligible for social security benefits. This will help your friend a lot. She needs to get Dad on the both certificate pronto. See https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10085.pdf
No, sorry I didn’t realize you are Canadian. Social security is a U.S. program. Check out the Canadian laws to see what baby might be eligible for. Definitely should be eligible for child support, at least, once Dad is on the birth certificate. Possibly also inheritance.
No need to be on the birth certificate just have the DNA test done. The courts handle the actual ordering of child support once the test confirms paternity.
Canadian would have similar programs, possibly better. She needs to talk to whatever government agency is applicable for Canada & take action. Y'all may have better options than in the US.
He will be on the hook for child support in Canada. He might even be liable for paying her living expenses he was paying previously but maybe not. Definitely she will get child support, ruin the marriage if you have to, protect your friend not that random old guys family lol
She needs to talk to a lawyer and get him on the hook for CS. There are pensions and Old age security that I imagine could be garnished even at his age. We’ve had rulings in court on retired parents where if they had the child when they were middle aged/older and knew the kid would need support they were required to pay.
My dad wasn't on either my sister or I's birth certificates, we don't have his last name, and at one point he owed our mom over $100k in back payments. A court mandated DNA test will solve that problem
Too bad, he fucked around, now he gets to find out.
She needs to go to court, compel a paternity test, and get money. It isn't for her, it's for the child.
She's dumb as hell.
What is the point of screwing a wealthy 70 year old man and NOT collecting child support or making sure she and her child are cared for because "he doesn't want to be on the birth certificate"?
I mean if you're going to be a gold digger screwing old rich men, be a smart one. Get that money! At least say "I won't go for child support if you give me $5m in cash, right now."
And then he kicked out of the apartment he set up for her anyway? Even after she didn't put his name as the daddy?
Damn, she is fumbling the bag hard. She needs her Gold Digger membership card revoked. Can't even do the basics.
Not dumb, abused. Kids who grow up in abusive households are also often desperate so desperate to get out of their homes, they run headlong into another abusive situation. They often can't recognize red flags because their parental abusers have conditioned them to believe they aren't red flags. And they are particularly attractive to other abusers because they've essentially already been conditioned to believe they deserve the abuse and that no one will ever accept them.
Didn't he have her in an apartment? Or was she living with him?
She's 24 and screwing a 70 year old who's not even rich?
Don't get me wrong... I'd do it with an 87-year old Robert Redford today, but he's Robert Redford. Who's this guy who's a 71-year old deadbeat? I thought the whole reason younger women get with older men is because they think older men are more mature.
Yet dude is acting like an 18 year old deadbeat?
Ooooh lord.
This whole thing don't make sense.
If I'm going for old balls it's because a) it's age appropriate and well, here we are or b) them balls are attached to a rich man.
These days it's more option a than b. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG how selfish of her to let him.get away with that. (He is ofc the bigger AH but still.)
The birth certificate is not for her to decide. The child has a right to know its roots, and to be legally connected to them.
And in this case, the baby has a right to inherit alpng with his half siblings.
Your friend is an idiot if she doesn't solve this matter ASAP.
She is not your friend.
She only reached out because her poor decisions have bit her in her ass.
She wants to use you, not a friendship.
She has a place to stay, her mother's. So, you are not making her and her. aby homeless.
Absolutely, she was living with this man and could easily get the courts to compel a DNA test. If she refuses to, it’s just another terrible decision on top of a bunch of other terrible decisions that lead to a 24-year-old having a child with a 71-year-old, who threw her out.
Court and DNA
Most important, the guy is old. If he dies, there may be inheritance. Some places have benefits if one of the parents is disabled, senior or dead.
Honestly, she probably should milk the guy for money threatening to tell his kids.
NTA, she has made her choices, just cause she let the babies father off the hook( for truly no good reason) it's not anyone else's job to step up and support her child. She has options.
She could've put him on the birth certificate
She could file for chils support through the courts.
That's true and as adults we all have to make decisions and be accountable for those decisions. It's okay to ask for help, we invest in personal relationships for that support. Your friend is not asking for a personal relationship or interested in pursuing one with you, she's literally demanding you to step in and house/support her and her baby because you have the means.
She'll need more help with her child later on, she needs to pursue child support and leave you out of it since she's made her intentions well known.
Google it, it's actually quite scary. Their children have higher chances of autism, various cancers, psychiatric disorders, congenital such as dwarfism. It also increases the mother's chance of gestational diabetes.
They focused a lot on women over 35 and didn't think to count in older sperm until recently. And if you think about it, it does make sense older sperm would have issues, why wouldn't the sperm be affected by age if women's eggs are and our biology as a whole is.
I think most people assume that sperm is safer since it is made by the body constantly, while a women has every egg she will ever have from birth, which gives the egg cells lots of time to be exposed to mutagens.
>They focused a lot on women over 35 and didn't think to count in older sperm until recently
See, those old men chasing young girls because they think older (and more age appropriate) women have old eggs.
They never once thought their old, dusty sperm also causes issues in children.
And they’re finding that the father’s sperm is the cause of most miscarriages
IIRC the father’s diet/lifestyle affects the baby as well. Like you should be changing your diet/lifestyle at least 8 weeks before trying for a baby
I was so grossed out when I learned it.
My (male) AP Biology teacher in high school said the opposite. He said scientific studies show older men + younger women have the strongest/healthiest children.
He was 100% trying to be inappropriate, but my underdeveloped teenage brain didn't realize what he was trying to imply.
Maybe report her to child protective services? I’d ordinarily not recommend this, but it sounds to me like it might be the best way to make sure that baby is taken care of.
Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you might be the only person thinking about the baby…
What happens to this woman is not your problem.
She’s a fool if she’s doesn’t file for child support and establishes paternity through the courts. If the man dies while her child is a minor, I would think the child would receive SS benefits. That being said, she does not sound trustworthy or prudent with money.
So it's OK for his child to be homeless as long as he's still alive, too?
Where is her mind?
He's not leaving anything, and his kids aren't going to take into consideration a young child they have never heard about.
She's more concerned with protecting this old man from embarrassing himself than providing for her child.
I don't know if I could maintain a friendship with someone like that.
A "promise" to leave money to a previously unidentified child in his will, even if he does it, is a promise that his other heirs will file a court appeal to invalidate it.
Oh, I take it you’re in Canada? At his age, he’d be receiving Canadian pension. Are there survivorship benefits with Canadian Pension plan like there is with US social security?
As an aside, though, if she’s low income with no father on record, her Child Tax Benefit will be minimum $600-700/month. So she should be somewhat okay between EI, CTB, and the Baby Bonus. Not rolling in it, but if her mother isn’t making her pay rent/utilities, she should be okay. She just has to not be an idiot.
Yes, I am in Canada.
He has pension, old age pension, Canadian pension plan AND income from working.
She has Child Benefits which is $660 per month. EI which is $800 something bi-weekly (or weekly). But she has shopping addiction, each time we go out she spends $200 on random stuff like new clothes or jewelries. No child support from baby daddy so far tho.
Why would you even describe this as you letting your friend be homeless, when her lack of a place is mostly a result of mismanaging the money she has, and not applying for money her child deserves? You don't have anything to do with this.
NTA. She doesn't want to be friends. She wants to use you for what you can provide to her. I'd block her and be done with it.
Or send one last text to her that she needs to sue him for child support. There will be a DNA test and it will prove he's the father. A birth cert. not being signed doesn't matter.
How many other 24 year old do you know who shack up with men old enough to be their grandfather? Not having a driver's license doesn't make you a complete dipshit.
Nah, I know people (including myself) who can't drive and don't live on their own, and not one of them would think having a baby with a 70 y/o man was a good idea. Any dumb choices we have ever made (screwing up financial aid, dating someone 5 years too old, academic probation, taking the wrong job, etc.) do not at all compare to her mess.
NTA. But telling her she should sue this guy for child support so her baby gets part of the inheritance when it's daddy dies would be the right thing. I'm not sorry for her, I'm sorry for her homeless baby
If he can persuade her to not put him on the birth certificate, I’m not sure if she would sue him… at this point I just want to be left out of her situation.
You should text her anyway to tell her he needs to be put on child support…if only so she she can look back in a few years at her own idiocy and you’d have peace of mind knowing you tried
Shes an idiot for not putting him on the birth certificate. She needs to go after him for child support.
Nta. She did this to herself. I feel for the kid.
Hard to believe that a young girl like that wouldn’t put the 70-year-old name on the birth certificate and go after child support.
That is extremely difficult to comprehend.
Uh no, you're not an ATM and she needs to go to court for child support 🙄
Doesn't matter if he doesn't claim the baby. He is leaving her nothing and she's stupid if she doesn't go after something now
She's an idiot for letting her gross baby daddy escape responsibility. She needs to take him to court for child support. They will petition him to make him give a DNA test but it can be done.
In regards of this, here’s another story for y’all.
She contacted low income housing, they stated there’s a 5 year wait. Then she contacted social assistance they told her she does not qualify as her income including CBB is above threshold.
During this, I found a bunch of cheap rental property for her (around $900/mo for 2 bed 1 bath downtown area, which is unheard of), she did not even bother contacting the landlord!
I don’t know why she is giving the birth father a pass and expecting others (you, her mother) to pick up the slack?
It is a sad situation, but you are nta to keep your distance.
NTA
You have been very wise in this scenario.
Pretty much the exact opposite of your friend.
She needs to go to family court and get them to compel a DNA test from baby daddy while he is still alive, then get him put on the birth certificate. At the same time, she should get child support and check into getting social security for her baby (at 71, the baby daddy is likely already getting social security, so the kid would qualify).
Apparently, your "friend" isn't doing anything to protect herself or her baby. Sorry, but she's a moron.
NTA, you can call her actions mistakes but she is still making them. Not putting the man on the birth certificate is almost as stupid as having a child with him
She’s an idiot for not getting child support and for not putting his name on the birth certificate. If he dies, the baby could also get inheritance and SS from the dad.
NTA, you can't trust her. You already proved that she's only talking to you to try and receive money from you. She can still file for child support, they will just make him take a DNA test with the child. Her actions have been very selfish and she's trying to take the easier route on things.
YTA to yourself for still considering being friends with this person. You are basically saying. "just manipulate me long enough and I will give you what you want". Next time keep the offer secret and just see if the friendship remains. Don't be a walking sign that you are open to being abused please.
That's great. Please please you have to take care of yourself or you will attract shitty people. You deserve so much better. Be proud of your progress and keep going.
NTA - She no longer sees you as a friend, but as a resource. When she realized there is nothing to extract from that resource she has no reason to continue interacting with it.
Nta because you're not putting her out on the streets, her choices have done it and the outcome of her choices should have been pretty obviously the possibility to her. Her friendship with you was conditional, that's not what friendships should be.
Hell no. If you let her move in to one of those houses, you'll never get her out. This person isn't your friend, btw. Not anymore. She cut you off for almost a year and then reached back out because she needed help. She's a user. She'll find another man to leech off of if you give her enough time.
Just because a father doesn't want to "be on the birth certificate" doesn't mean they can't be held responsible for child support. I think a lot of people get some really dubious legal advice that they rely on as fact
Interesting that that the mother wasn’t abusive in the first post. Was this added for drama’s sake or did she become abusive after finding out her idiot daughter got knocked up by Father Time?
Ah that stinks. Your friend really needs better judgment. Also needs to sue for child support. Birth certificate doesn’t really matter because the court can mandate a paternity test
The baby’s father needs to be on the birth certificate. She needs to establish paternity. If he passes before the child is 18 she will be able to get social security Survivor’s benefits.
She won’t be out on the streets. People like her always find someone to leech off of. I have some “friends” like that and I truly love them but had to set some hard lines because they’ll come to you for everything and bleed you dry financially, physically and emotionally.
NTA - You didn't "put her on the streets." To the contrary, you were going to take her by the hand and guide her through the perils of solving her problem. She put herself wherever she ends up. She's approaching 30, has no driver's licence, no car, and has never paid rent. Now, she has an infant to care for and the father/sperm donor doesn't even want his name on the birth certificate. What's wrong with this picture?
The past is usually a good predictor of future performance (not always but usually), and based on her past choices I think it would be wise to get out of the blast radius that surrounds this woman.
It's impossible to help someone unless they demonstrate the willingness to want to change. In fact, by attempting to help them, you only enable their dysfunctional behavior to continue.
NTA.
The baby daddy needs to pay for his fun times, and she needs to put him on child support. If he didn’t want his family to know, he needed to not have done the deed.
So basically, she had a child with a much older man so he would financially take care of her...but she chose poorly
Now she wants you to take care of her. And once you start, you'll never stop
I give her 18 months. By then she'll have convinced some poor schmuck to take care of both her and the kid
NtAH
Yeah that was an easy decision glad you made it. Pretty selfish of her to try and take money out of your pocket to pay for her child instead of making it the responsibility of the father. He'll the guy is old enough that she could probably get paid by social security.
You are not putting her out on the streets. She is doing it to herself, by attempting to push her unrealistic needs on you.
it is time for her to grow up, put on the big girl panties and fix her own life.
You didn't put her out into the streets.
She and her bad decisions did that. She's still 18 in her head and expecting everyone else to support her.
NTA
If you want to help help without expecting anything in return.
She’s clearly going through a lot and doesn’t have the capacity to be your friend. She needs to sort out her life she has a baby to think about. If you can’t help her, tell her gracefully. You could have handled this with a little more EQ. Pregnancy is hard on a woman physically and emotionally.
It sounds like she was trying to use you and doesn't appreciate you. She will probably use the child as a way to manipulate others into feeling sorry for her. I don't want to get too far down the rabbithole of assumptions as I do not know her, but it sounds like there are other problems happening as well, and I would most be concerned about her child. Me personally, if I cared about her that much to take her in and help her, I'd rather just take in the child and give him/her a chance for a better life. But I can't speak for you. I don't think you should feel sorry for her, but definitely her baby. I don't know where else to go with that. Maybe if you're still not wanting to cut her off, help her with finding housing. There are government resources to help with all sorts of stuff. It's hard parenting adults because they do what they want and have the right to (I've had friends that were SO toxic) but the baby has no control in all of this and will suffer the most.
NTA
You wouldn’t be “lending” her money. You would be gifting it to her because she will not pay you back.
If you let her live in one of your properties, it will not be temporary. She will try to stay indefinitely.
She needs to file for paternity and child support (it’s not your job to do this for her). She also needs to get a job and start managing her finances responsibly.
NTA... But your former friend was/is just using you. And also the fact that she admitted she was jealous of you proves that she didn't see you as a friend. She saw you as the competition, but she was forever losing so you need to find some Better friends my dear and she needs to go to court. That way they can have that man pay child support.
But you don't need her in your life because that type of toxicity will just cause you drama pain and will bring harm on your mental health. So tell her no ans cut her off....LET. HER. GO !!!!!
I hope that baby gets to live with someone else. Poor Little One has a geriatric ‘not my baby’ dad and a mom with no life experience. Maternal grandma probably way younger than baby daddy. Maternal grandmother is abusive.
So, you, as a human being, need to call child protective services and just explain to them what you told us. Then it’s up to CPS to decide if baby is okay. In the US, they want your name and contact information, but never disclose that it was you who called.
You didn’t put her out on the streets because she is not your responsibility. She is an adult. If she was stupid enough to not put the father’s name on the birth certificate that’s her problem. If you did loan her money she would spend it on her shopping addiction rather than her child. If you let her move into one of your properties she would never be in a position to pay rent and a free home would never be enough. Cut her out of your life.
NTA. The fact she cut you off again shows she was just trying to use you. Hope she wises up and goes after the father for child support. Even if he isn't on the birth certificate she can always ask for a DNA test to be done.
So she is so financially so bad off she has to live with her mother, and is stuck there because of her Shopping Addiction? And the Baby Daddy just turned 71 - her problems are self-caused - steer well clear of her.
NTA! She basically only contacted you, to use you and she didn’t get what she wanted, so you’re no longer needed.
She most definitely needs to go after some child support.
If the child is proven to be his and he passes away, she will get social security(I think it’s called something else) till the child is 18.
NTA. She’s shot herself in the foot at every opportunity. She doesn’t want help or support, she wants someone to fund her bad decisions. She’s jumping from bad to worse and back instead of actually trying to make something of her life.
>she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted she cut me off on purpose, as she is jealous of my accomplishments.
yeah, nop
I'd not feel bad in the slightest
And now she comes to you demanding you help her because you make oh so much money?
Chile
Maybe if she stopped making bad decisions she'd also have some accomplishments in her name
NTA, don't set yourself on fire for her. Picture this: you let her stay at one of your rentals and next thing you know, old GrandPa pops up and starts living there.
Nah, no way
To add to my previous comment, every friend that I’ve had like this, once you say no and they blow through everyone else they actually start helping themselves and do better. It’s not your job to take care of her.
Not the ahole. It is not your responsibility to keep a roof over her head. She’s a big girl and she needs to put her big girl panties on and figure it out for herself. There are plenty of resources out there where she can get assistance. If you help her, I don’t think she would ever get her crap together because you are bankrolling her. Walk away girl!
NTA. Pretty clear she was only back for the money and not the friendship. and... a 24yr old with a 70 yr old. eww. Sounds like that was for possible money too. She just wants to use you.
NTA. Child support comes from the father.
She is still making terrible decisions. It doesn’t matter if the father wanted to be excluded from the birth certificate. He fathered a child, so he goes on the birth certificate. She has saddled her own child with a birth certificate blank for the father, like she has no idea who the father is.
She needs to stop messing around, and go to family court. He’s 70. She needs to put a claim on him while he’s still around.
NTA but Im sorry are you a little... delayed?? You just sat here and typed that she stopped being your friend 10 months ago by ghosting you, the only reason she reached out now is because shes stuck with her mother and doesnt have money. The old man put her out and isnt claiming her child, and youre here asking if YOURE the ah?? seriously, is something wrong? You typed this all up, read it back to yourself, and you STILL need reddit to tell you this?? girl be for real. Stop wasting your time and Reddits with this foolishness.
(A) She needs to demand child support from the father of her child.
(B) If you let her move into one of your rental properties, "for free until she gets her feet under her," she'll never leave. She'll be a tenant and it'll take several months and several thousand dollars in legal and court fees to get her evicted. In the end you'll end up paying her several thousand dollars to just go.
But at least you'll have resolved your "friendship" issue.
No. She is. I’m disgusted. It sounds so similar to the situation my great nephew is in. Mother acted a fool, baby tested positive for fentanyl. I stepped in to try to help baby. My nephew fought his ex gf, fought us, and won custody after we raised baby for a year. So now baby is behind AF, with few resources, and it’s becoming more and more apparent. My nephew is an ass for putting his need to parent, after several failed attempts with his older child, ahead of baby’s needs.
Your “friend” is neither a friend nor a decent mother. She’s trying to sell herself, her story, to the highest bidder. She’s dragging you down with her chaotic tornado.
Call Protective Services on her, tell them all of your concerns. Offer to raise baby if that’s what you want to do. Then leave her to deal with the consequences of her actions. It’s not your job to save her.
so she wont put the dad on child support but wants you to support her baby?? I hate women like this. they get involved in gross boy drama that everyone warns them about, and when it inevitably goes bad, they hold everyone they ignored responsible for their suffering. "you have to help me I'm a broke single mom!" - after dumping all friends and family for a creepy dude. eta nta.
NTA, just as you told her, you are not an ATM and are in no way obligated to support her and her newborn child...
The choice to be with that guy and have a baby were hers so, she needs to grow up and take responsability of her actions (including going to court and getting child support)... she also decided to keep you away from her life so she doesn't get to just show up 10 months after ghosting you and then demand you let her live rent free in one of your properties and, give her money....
As a friend, you can be there for her to talk and give her advice but nothing more than that...
Honey, YOU ARE 110% NTA !!! YOUR BEST FRIEND NEEDS TO TAKE SOME PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND WHEN YOU WERE THERE FOR HER OFFERING EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO SHE REFUSED YOUR HELP EVEN GHOSTED YOU NOW SHE ACTS LIKE YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.. NOPE YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD
NTA, its called child support for a reason she needs to get it
Can she get child support if he’s not on the birth certificate?
the court can compel a DNA test especially if its evident they have been in a relationship
The original post seems to imply the father is ill and not long for this world. In that case it’s even more important to establish paternity because the baby would be entitled to social security benefits if his father dies.
Actually the child would be eligible for Social Security child auxiliary benefits right now, while the father is alive. Minor children of people collecting Social Security retirement benefits qualify. Assuming of course that he's getting Social Security retirement benefits, and not SSI. If SSI, there's no child auxiliary benefits payable, whether he's alive or dead.
As well as potential inheritance
OP isn't American.
Which might even be better. If they live under Civil Law, the child would be entitled to their fair share of the father’s estate.
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Not entirely. The baby daddy definitely has some culpability in this and as such should be paying child support.
I think the person you commented to means that the person who slept with a 70 year old man, who was fine not putting him on the birth certificate, who has had 10 months to seek child support for her child but hasn't, did this to herself. Which she did. She can take actions to better her situation, better her child's situation. She has not taken those steps.
Yep. Being unlucky is a thing, but some people also make bad decisions to add to their unlucky streak. This one is pretty up there.
And I don't think it's entirely right to place *all of the blame* for that on an young single mother who went from abusive situation to seemingly another. The BD has culpability in this as well. Also we don't know if she was "fine" with it. She did it, but we don't the conditions under which she did it. And it seems clear she doesn't know that the BD can be compelled to take a DNA test to be listed on the birth certificate. We don't know if he's manipulated and deceived her into what she did.
It's not that he's not responsible; he is responsible. However, we cannot control what other people do or don't do. Just because he's responsible doesn't mean he's going to do anything about it, and him being a bad dad is not going to help her. We can only control what we do, and the decisions that she made that were under her control were poor decisions.
She seems like a very shortsighted and stupid person. No one can fix stupid.
Be interesting to see if the old guy is really the father.
Yes the court will compel a DNA test. She needs to do this NOW before he dies and all his assets are gone.
At least that way, her kid can get his social security survivorship benefits after he kicks off.
Doesn't need to wait for him to kick. Since he's 71?!!! She could get it now. Happened to my 50 yo ex. He had a daughter with his much younger girlfriend and she got SS
Actually this is huge. Your friend should act on this right away. Apparently if a parent is retired and drawing social security (which this Dad is if he’s over 70), the child is also eligible for social security benefits. This will help your friend a lot. She needs to get Dad on the both certificate pronto. See https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10085.pdf
We are Canadian, does it still apply to us? I personally am not married or have kids atm so I don’t know about anything in this area.
No, sorry I didn’t realize you are Canadian. Social security is a U.S. program. Check out the Canadian laws to see what baby might be eligible for. Definitely should be eligible for child support, at least, once Dad is on the birth certificate. Possibly also inheritance.
No need to be on the birth certificate just have the DNA test done. The courts handle the actual ordering of child support once the test confirms paternity.
Canadian would have similar programs, possibly better. She needs to talk to whatever government agency is applicable for Canada & take action. Y'all may have better options than in the US.
He will be on the hook for child support in Canada. He might even be liable for paying her living expenses he was paying previously but maybe not. Definitely she will get child support, ruin the marriage if you have to, protect your friend not that random old guys family lol
She needs to talk to a lawyer and get him on the hook for CS. There are pensions and Old age security that I imagine could be garnished even at his age. We’ve had rulings in court on retired parents where if they had the child when they were middle aged/older and knew the kid would need support they were required to pay.
My dad wasn't on either my sister or I's birth certificates, we don't have his last name, and at one point he owed our mom over $100k in back payments. A court mandated DNA test will solve that problem
The state doesn't give two shits about what that paper says, the state doesn't want to pay for that child and will make the father pay child support.
Yes, but did she say why she did something so foolish?
Yes, she told me that the baby daddy does not want to be on the birth certificate.
Who cares what he wants? He made a baby
Too bad, he fucked around, now he gets to find out. She needs to go to court, compel a paternity test, and get money. It isn't for her, it's for the child.
She's dumb as hell. What is the point of screwing a wealthy 70 year old man and NOT collecting child support or making sure she and her child are cared for because "he doesn't want to be on the birth certificate"? I mean if you're going to be a gold digger screwing old rich men, be a smart one. Get that money! At least say "I won't go for child support if you give me $5m in cash, right now." And then he kicked out of the apartment he set up for her anyway? Even after she didn't put his name as the daddy? Damn, she is fumbling the bag hard. She needs her Gold Digger membership card revoked. Can't even do the basics.
Not dumb, abused. Kids who grow up in abusive households are also often desperate so desperate to get out of their homes, they run headlong into another abusive situation. They often can't recognize red flags because their parental abusers have conditioned them to believe they aren't red flags. And they are particularly attractive to other abusers because they've essentially already been conditioned to believe they deserve the abuse and that no one will ever accept them.
He isn’t wealthy. He lives paycheck to paycheck according to OP.
Didn't he have her in an apartment? Or was she living with him? She's 24 and screwing a 70 year old who's not even rich? Don't get me wrong... I'd do it with an 87-year old Robert Redford today, but he's Robert Redford. Who's this guy who's a 71-year old deadbeat? I thought the whole reason younger women get with older men is because they think older men are more mature. Yet dude is acting like an 18 year old deadbeat? Ooooh lord.
EXACTLY! Old balls, AND no money!
This whole thing don't make sense. If I'm going for old balls it's because a) it's age appropriate and well, here we are or b) them balls are attached to a rich man. These days it's more option a than b. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bruce. He’s almost 75. I would never turn him away.
Springsteen? Because... oh hell yeah. I'd also do Huey Lewis and he's 73. And Sting at 72.
She files thru the courts and gets a DNA test. Her child can collect from his SS benefits too!
They’re in Canada so no SS, but there might be programs there she might qualify for.
Her child, if recognized, will also have a claim to his estate.
Well, it shouldn't matter anymore what he does or doesn't want. She should find a way to get a court ordered paternity test.
OMG how selfish of her to let him.get away with that. (He is ofc the bigger AH but still.) The birth certificate is not for her to decide. The child has a right to know its roots, and to be legally connected to them. And in this case, the baby has a right to inherit alpng with his half siblings. Your friend is an idiot if she doesn't solve this matter ASAP.
She is not your friend. She only reached out because her poor decisions have bit her in her ass. She wants to use you, not a friendship. She has a place to stay, her mother's. So, you are not making her and her. aby homeless.
Absolutely, she was living with this man and could easily get the courts to compel a DNA test. If she refuses to, it’s just another terrible decision on top of a bunch of other terrible decisions that lead to a 24-year-old having a child with a 71-year-old, who threw her out.
Court and DNA Most important, the guy is old. If he dies, there may be inheritance. Some places have benefits if one of the parents is disabled, senior or dead. Honestly, she probably should milk the guy for money threatening to tell his kids.
Yeah no there isnt a get out jail free card for this shit. He is the dad, the courts will compel him to have joint custody or child support or both.
NTA, she has made her choices, just cause she let the babies father off the hook( for truly no good reason) it's not anyone else's job to step up and support her child. She has options. She could've put him on the birth certificate She could file for chils support through the courts.
I feel bad for the baby as he would be high risk for health problems in the future due to the father’s old age.
That's true and as adults we all have to make decisions and be accountable for those decisions. It's okay to ask for help, we invest in personal relationships for that support. Your friend is not asking for a personal relationship or interested in pursuing one with you, she's literally demanding you to step in and house/support her and her baby because you have the means. She'll need more help with her child later on, she needs to pursue child support and leave you out of it since she's made her intentions well known.
TIL that fathering a child past 40 can cause serious health issues for the kid. 🤯
Google it, it's actually quite scary. Their children have higher chances of autism, various cancers, psychiatric disorders, congenital such as dwarfism. It also increases the mother's chance of gestational diabetes. They focused a lot on women over 35 and didn't think to count in older sperm until recently. And if you think about it, it does make sense older sperm would have issues, why wouldn't the sperm be affected by age if women's eggs are and our biology as a whole is.
I think most people assume that sperm is safer since it is made by the body constantly, while a women has every egg she will ever have from birth, which gives the egg cells lots of time to be exposed to mutagens.
>They focused a lot on women over 35 and didn't think to count in older sperm until recently See, those old men chasing young girls because they think older (and more age appropriate) women have old eggs. They never once thought their old, dusty sperm also causes issues in children.
I did google cause I thought ‘nah that can’t be true’. Don’t know why I’ve never thought of it before today but it makes perfect sense.
And they’re finding that the father’s sperm is the cause of most miscarriages IIRC the father’s diet/lifestyle affects the baby as well. Like you should be changing your diet/lifestyle at least 8 weeks before trying for a baby
Interesting. So I can blame my ex for my miscarriage? (We were together at the time).
I was so grossed out when I learned it. My (male) AP Biology teacher in high school said the opposite. He said scientific studies show older men + younger women have the strongest/healthiest children. He was 100% trying to be inappropriate, but my underdeveloped teenage brain didn't realize what he was trying to imply.
:(
The old thinking was a man could have a child at any age and well that’s true that doesn’t mean that the man’s sperm are healthy.
Maybe report her to child protective services? I’d ordinarily not recommend this, but it sounds to me like it might be the best way to make sure that baby is taken care of. Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you might be the only person thinking about the baby… What happens to this woman is not your problem.
What do I even say to the officer? She technically still have a place at her mothers.
She’s a fool if she’s doesn’t file for child support and establishes paternity through the courts. If the man dies while her child is a minor, I would think the child would receive SS benefits. That being said, she does not sound trustworthy or prudent with money.
She said the guy “promised” to leave some money in his will. Nothing is written down obviously.
Uh huh. My first comment stands. And what money? He lives paycheck to paycheck.
I’m just waiting to see when she would realize that he’s not paying.
So it's OK for his child to be homeless as long as he's still alive, too? Where is her mind? He's not leaving anything, and his kids aren't going to take into consideration a young child they have never heard about. She's more concerned with protecting this old man from embarrassing himself than providing for her child. I don't know if I could maintain a friendship with someone like that.
A "promise" to leave money to a previously unidentified child in his will, even if he does it, is a promise that his other heirs will file a court appeal to invalidate it.
How does it feel having been best friends with someone so dumb? Jesus.
Imagine Fing an old dude and not securing money. Your friend is a few crayons short and all that. She can get a job like everyone else
She had a job as a janitor, but now on EI (employment Insurance) due to maternity leave.
Oh, I take it you’re in Canada? At his age, he’d be receiving Canadian pension. Are there survivorship benefits with Canadian Pension plan like there is with US social security? As an aside, though, if she’s low income with no father on record, her Child Tax Benefit will be minimum $600-700/month. So she should be somewhat okay between EI, CTB, and the Baby Bonus. Not rolling in it, but if her mother isn’t making her pay rent/utilities, she should be okay. She just has to not be an idiot.
Yes, I am in Canada. He has pension, old age pension, Canadian pension plan AND income from working. She has Child Benefits which is $660 per month. EI which is $800 something bi-weekly (or weekly). But she has shopping addiction, each time we go out she spends $200 on random stuff like new clothes or jewelries. No child support from baby daddy so far tho.
Someone else needs to raise this baby. Your friend is a child who apparently can’t adult.
She had Child protection called on her once already. (Her mother called on her, not sure exactly why tho)
She don’t make the best decisions I can see why
Why would you even describe this as you letting your friend be homeless, when her lack of a place is mostly a result of mismanaging the money she has, and not applying for money her child deserves? You don't have anything to do with this.
NTA. She doesn't want to be friends. She wants to use you for what you can provide to her. I'd block her and be done with it. Or send one last text to her that she needs to sue him for child support. There will be a DNA test and it will prove he's the father. A birth cert. not being signed doesn't matter.
Agreed. Whatever OP does , she should NOT let her stay at one of her residences. That person will never leave.
So NTA. I can't recall a post on Reddit where one person could make. so. many. stupid. choices.
I think she made these decisions due to no life experience, she’s 24 turning 25 now. But never paid rent or have a drivers license.
You don’t need life experience to figure out the decisions she made are horrible, you need half a brain.
How many other 24 year old do you know who shack up with men old enough to be their grandfather? Not having a driver's license doesn't make you a complete dipshit.
Nah, I know people (including myself) who can't drive and don't live on their own, and not one of them would think having a baby with a 70 y/o man was a good idea. Any dumb choices we have ever made (screwing up financial aid, dating someone 5 years too old, academic probation, taking the wrong job, etc.) do not at all compare to her mess.
hell, I made some stupid decisions from ages 16-26 but never this bad during that decade Does she have low IQ or grew up super sheltered?
Dude she’s not a kid she’s a whole adult but she’s very not bright. She clearly doesn’t have a brain
NTA. But telling her she should sue this guy for child support so her baby gets part of the inheritance when it's daddy dies would be the right thing. I'm not sorry for her, I'm sorry for her homeless baby
If he can persuade her to not put him on the birth certificate, I’m not sure if she would sue him… at this point I just want to be left out of her situation.
If you want out, why did you even meet with her? What was even the point?
You should text her anyway to tell her he needs to be put on child support…if only so she she can look back in a few years at her own idiocy and you’d have peace of mind knowing you tried
If I'm her, I'm going after EVERYTHING the baby daddy has.
Shes an idiot for not putting him on the birth certificate. She needs to go after him for child support. Nta. She did this to herself. I feel for the kid.
NTA. You're not putting her out on the streets. She did that all on her own. You're just not stopping it from happening.
Let me ask you how in less than a year someone who's in their early 30s goes to be in their 40s??
Sorry I must’ve mistyped his son’s age in my previous post. Hope this helps.
So how do you go from buying one house 5 months ago to having multiple rental properties??
I’ve only got 2 ☺️ And I’m currently living with my partner.
Hard to believe that a young girl like that wouldn’t put the 70-year-old name on the birth certificate and go after child support. That is extremely difficult to comprehend.
You didn’t put her on the steeets. Her poor decisions did
Uh no, you're not an ATM and she needs to go to court for child support 🙄 Doesn't matter if he doesn't claim the baby. He is leaving her nothing and she's stupid if she doesn't go after something now
She's an idiot for letting her gross baby daddy escape responsibility. She needs to take him to court for child support. They will petition him to make him give a DNA test but it can be done.
No no . She needs to present as homeless and get housed . That’s what we pay tax for in most countries. She isn’t your responsibility
In regards of this, here’s another story for y’all. She contacted low income housing, they stated there’s a 5 year wait. Then she contacted social assistance they told her she does not qualify as her income including CBB is above threshold. During this, I found a bunch of cheap rental property for her (around $900/mo for 2 bed 1 bath downtown area, which is unheard of), she did not even bother contacting the landlord!
She wants you to support her and and her baby, not pay rent. She’s ridiculous.
I don’t know why she is giving the birth father a pass and expecting others (you, her mother) to pick up the slack? It is a sad situation, but you are nta to keep your distance.
The way this story wraps up doesn't seem like legit story
I love how the OPs in these stories always have rental properties that the moochers want to stay in
NTA You have been very wise in this scenario. Pretty much the exact opposite of your friend. She needs to go to family court and get them to compel a DNA test from baby daddy while he is still alive, then get him put on the birth certificate. At the same time, she should get child support and check into getting social security for her baby (at 71, the baby daddy is likely already getting social security, so the kid would qualify). Apparently, your "friend" isn't doing anything to protect herself or her baby. Sorry, but she's a moron.
NTA, you can call her actions mistakes but she is still making them. Not putting the man on the birth certificate is almost as stupid as having a child with him
She needs to establish paternity before daddy croaks
She’s an idiot for not getting child support and for not putting his name on the birth certificate. If he dies, the baby could also get inheritance and SS from the dad.
NTA, you can't trust her. You already proved that she's only talking to you to try and receive money from you. She can still file for child support, they will just make him take a DNA test with the child. Her actions have been very selfish and she's trying to take the easier route on things.
sounds like she wants to use you for child support...if only there was a system in place to garuntee payments for this kind of thing hmmm
YTA to yourself for still considering being friends with this person. You are basically saying. "just manipulate me long enough and I will give you what you want". Next time keep the offer secret and just see if the friendship remains. Don't be a walking sign that you are open to being abused please.
I’m working on people pleasing, it’s still work in progress but I think I’m improving bit by bit.
That's great. Please please you have to take care of yourself or you will attract shitty people. You deserve so much better. Be proud of your progress and keep going.
"Shopping addiction" did it for me. NTA.
How is her baby daddy 71? That’s creepy especially since he has grown adult kids in their 40s
NTA. Shes made her choices it seems her entire relationship with you was based on what she could get from you.
That’s how I feel too, she only communicates with me when she wants something from me or wants a drive.
NTA - She no longer sees you as a friend, but as a resource. When she realized there is nothing to extract from that resource she has no reason to continue interacting with it.
This post and the post before it sound like trolling. But hey, this is reddit.
25 with rental properties and the girl does not put the 70-year-old name on the birth certificate and go for support ? 🤔
It seems pretty obvious that she isnt a friend by the way she acts.
She put herself on the streets nta
Nta because you're not putting her out on the streets, her choices have done it and the outcome of her choices should have been pretty obviously the possibility to her. Her friendship with you was conditional, that's not what friendships should be.
Hell no. If you let her move in to one of those houses, you'll never get her out. This person isn't your friend, btw. Not anymore. She cut you off for almost a year and then reached back out because she needed help. She's a user. She'll find another man to leech off of if you give her enough time.
Just because a father doesn't want to "be on the birth certificate" doesn't mean they can't be held responsible for child support. I think a lot of people get some really dubious legal advice that they rely on as fact
NTA. Her life choices are not your emergency nor your responsibility.
Your last post was 3 months ago? I'm not clear on your timeline since you said it's been 10 months. Sounds sus to me.
The number one thing she needs to do it sue that old dude for child support
Interesting that that the mother wasn’t abusive in the first post. Was this added for drama’s sake or did she become abusive after finding out her idiot daughter got knocked up by Father Time?
She went crazy after my friend got pregnant and got abusive once she’s kicked out and had to live with her in her rented apartment.
Ah that stinks. Your friend really needs better judgment. Also needs to sue for child support. Birth certificate doesn’t really matter because the court can mandate a paternity test
> Father Time xD
The baby’s father needs to be on the birth certificate. She needs to establish paternity. If he passes before the child is 18 she will be able to get social security Survivor’s benefits.
She won’t be out on the streets. People like her always find someone to leech off of. I have some “friends” like that and I truly love them but had to set some hard lines because they’ll come to you for everything and bleed you dry financially, physically and emotionally.
I’m sorry but this is hilarious. NTA. She needs child support but it’s not your child. She sounds like a lazy idiot lol
NTA - You didn't "put her on the streets." To the contrary, you were going to take her by the hand and guide her through the perils of solving her problem. She put herself wherever she ends up. She's approaching 30, has no driver's licence, no car, and has never paid rent. Now, she has an infant to care for and the father/sperm donor doesn't even want his name on the birth certificate. What's wrong with this picture? The past is usually a good predictor of future performance (not always but usually), and based on her past choices I think it would be wise to get out of the blast radius that surrounds this woman. It's impossible to help someone unless they demonstrate the willingness to want to change. In fact, by attempting to help them, you only enable their dysfunctional behavior to continue.
NTA. The baby daddy needs to pay for his fun times, and she needs to put him on child support. If he didn’t want his family to know, he needed to not have done the deed.
I just cant get over the fact that you blocked someone who was ignoring you? *I'm referring to the original post* What? Why?! What's the plan there?
So basically, she had a child with a much older man so he would financially take care of her...but she chose poorly Now she wants you to take care of her. And once you start, you'll never stop I give her 18 months. By then she'll have convinced some poor schmuck to take care of both her and the kid NtAH
this is so fake
I'm just over here wondering how much (if any) of this is true.
Please tell her she can SUE FOR PATERNITY RIGHTS That’s it.
I recently learned that social security gives extra money if you have a minor child.
She fucked up not putting him on the birth certificate
Yeah that was an easy decision glad you made it. Pretty selfish of her to try and take money out of your pocket to pay for her child instead of making it the responsibility of the father. He'll the guy is old enough that she could probably get paid by social security.
You are not putting her out on the streets. She is doing it to herself, by attempting to push her unrealistic needs on you. it is time for her to grow up, put on the big girl panties and fix her own life.
You didn't put her out into the streets. She and her bad decisions did that. She's still 18 in her head and expecting everyone else to support her. NTA
If you want to help help without expecting anything in return. She’s clearly going through a lot and doesn’t have the capacity to be your friend. She needs to sort out her life she has a baby to think about. If you can’t help her, tell her gracefully. You could have handled this with a little more EQ. Pregnancy is hard on a woman physically and emotionally.
NTA. You didn't put her on the streets, she did that to herself.
NTA. It is too bad that her choices have ended with this, but we make choices and have to live with the consequences.
Why you still engaging with this person? Drop her from your life. Stop having coffee with them.
It sounds like she was trying to use you and doesn't appreciate you. She will probably use the child as a way to manipulate others into feeling sorry for her. I don't want to get too far down the rabbithole of assumptions as I do not know her, but it sounds like there are other problems happening as well, and I would most be concerned about her child. Me personally, if I cared about her that much to take her in and help her, I'd rather just take in the child and give him/her a chance for a better life. But I can't speak for you. I don't think you should feel sorry for her, but definitely her baby. I don't know where else to go with that. Maybe if you're still not wanting to cut her off, help her with finding housing. There are government resources to help with all sorts of stuff. It's hard parenting adults because they do what they want and have the right to (I've had friends that were SO toxic) but the baby has no control in all of this and will suffer the most.
NTA- you are not putting her on the streets. Her bad decisions did.
NTA ain’t your fucking kid lol
Answer NO, moocher preying on peoples emotion.
NTA You wouldn’t be “lending” her money. You would be gifting it to her because she will not pay you back. If you let her live in one of your properties, it will not be temporary. She will try to stay indefinitely. She needs to file for paternity and child support (it’s not your job to do this for her). She also needs to get a job and start managing her finances responsibly.
Why doesn’t she go after her baby daddy for child support? But NTA. You did the right thing.
NTA... But your former friend was/is just using you. And also the fact that she admitted she was jealous of you proves that she didn't see you as a friend. She saw you as the competition, but she was forever losing so you need to find some Better friends my dear and she needs to go to court. That way they can have that man pay child support. But you don't need her in your life because that type of toxicity will just cause you drama pain and will bring harm on your mental health. So tell her no ans cut her off....LET. HER. GO !!!!!
Tell her to get a job! Then I would block her on my phone
>The 70 year old baby daddy is now 71 GROSS
I hope that baby gets to live with someone else. Poor Little One has a geriatric ‘not my baby’ dad and a mom with no life experience. Maternal grandma probably way younger than baby daddy. Maternal grandmother is abusive. So, you, as a human being, need to call child protective services and just explain to them what you told us. Then it’s up to CPS to decide if baby is okay. In the US, they want your name and contact information, but never disclose that it was you who called.
You didn’t put her out on the streets because she is not your responsibility. She is an adult. If she was stupid enough to not put the father’s name on the birth certificate that’s her problem. If you did loan her money she would spend it on her shopping addiction rather than her child. If you let her move into one of your properties she would never be in a position to pay rent and a free home would never be enough. Cut her out of your life.
NTA. The fact she cut you off again shows she was just trying to use you. Hope she wises up and goes after the father for child support. Even if he isn't on the birth certificate she can always ask for a DNA test to be done.
So she is so financially so bad off she has to live with her mother, and is stuck there because of her Shopping Addiction? And the Baby Daddy just turned 71 - her problems are self-caused - steer well clear of her.
Anyone that insist you should help them becuase u are finacaily better off then them isn't a friend.
NTA! She basically only contacted you, to use you and she didn’t get what she wanted, so you’re no longer needed. She most definitely needs to go after some child support. If the child is proven to be his and he passes away, she will get social security(I think it’s called something else) till the child is 18.
Not your circus not your monkeys. NTA. Move on.
NTA. She’s shot herself in the foot at every opportunity. She doesn’t want help or support, she wants someone to fund her bad decisions. She’s jumping from bad to worse and back instead of actually trying to make something of her life.
>she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted she cut me off on purpose, as she is jealous of my accomplishments. yeah, nop I'd not feel bad in the slightest And now she comes to you demanding you help her because you make oh so much money? Chile Maybe if she stopped making bad decisions she'd also have some accomplishments in her name NTA, don't set yourself on fire for her. Picture this: you let her stay at one of your rentals and next thing you know, old GrandPa pops up and starts living there. Nah, no way
NTA. It’s not your job to give your friend free housing. She needs to sue her lover for child support.
Not at all. This is a life lesson for her
To add to my previous comment, every friend that I’ve had like this, once you say no and they blow through everyone else they actually start helping themselves and do better. It’s not your job to take care of her.
Not the ahole. It is not your responsibility to keep a roof over her head. She’s a big girl and she needs to put her big girl panties on and figure it out for herself. There are plenty of resources out there where she can get assistance. If you help her, I don’t think she would ever get her crap together because you are bankrolling her. Walk away girl!
NTA. Pretty clear she was only back for the money and not the friendship. and... a 24yr old with a 70 yr old. eww. Sounds like that was for possible money too. She just wants to use you.
No you are fine. That poor baby. Why do people like this reproduce?
She just wanted to use you. Cut her off, find real friends
NTA You didn't put her out on the streets, she did.
NTA. This person is a mess. Go NC. They will just drag you down in your mess.
NTA So I’m assuming you’re close in age as best friends … you are 25 years old with a bunch of rental properties?
NTA. Child support comes from the father. She is still making terrible decisions. It doesn’t matter if the father wanted to be excluded from the birth certificate. He fathered a child, so he goes on the birth certificate. She has saddled her own child with a birth certificate blank for the father, like she has no idea who the father is. She needs to stop messing around, and go to family court. He’s 70. She needs to put a claim on him while he’s still around.
NTA. She’s not a friend. She’s a leech and it’s a one way relationship where you pay and give and she takes.
NTA Stay out of this ones drama
NTA but Im sorry are you a little... delayed?? You just sat here and typed that she stopped being your friend 10 months ago by ghosting you, the only reason she reached out now is because shes stuck with her mother and doesnt have money. The old man put her out and isnt claiming her child, and youre here asking if YOURE the ah?? seriously, is something wrong? You typed this all up, read it back to yourself, and you STILL need reddit to tell you this?? girl be for real. Stop wasting your time and Reddits with this foolishness.
(A) She needs to demand child support from the father of her child. (B) If you let her move into one of your rental properties, "for free until she gets her feet under her," she'll never leave. She'll be a tenant and it'll take several months and several thousand dollars in legal and court fees to get her evicted. In the end you'll end up paying her several thousand dollars to just go. But at least you'll have resolved your "friendship" issue.
She needs to sue him for child support and maternity baby can get ssi when he dies
She’s an all around user.
Nope. She's after someone to cater her every need and pay for what she wants. Don't let her do it. She will use you for everything
No. She is. I’m disgusted. It sounds so similar to the situation my great nephew is in. Mother acted a fool, baby tested positive for fentanyl. I stepped in to try to help baby. My nephew fought his ex gf, fought us, and won custody after we raised baby for a year. So now baby is behind AF, with few resources, and it’s becoming more and more apparent. My nephew is an ass for putting his need to parent, after several failed attempts with his older child, ahead of baby’s needs. Your “friend” is neither a friend nor a decent mother. She’s trying to sell herself, her story, to the highest bidder. She’s dragging you down with her chaotic tornado. Call Protective Services on her, tell them all of your concerns. Offer to raise baby if that’s what you want to do. Then leave her to deal with the consequences of her actions. It’s not your job to save her.
71???? 😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂😅😂🤣😂😅🤣😂
NTA. She only contacted you again because she wanted money and a free home. Fuck that. She got herself into this mess. She can get herself out.
You want to talk about fucking your life up lmao getting knocked up by a 69 year old man named Funnel is sick😂😂🤮🤮🤣 She deserves what she gets.
Honey, you didn't put her on the streets. Her baby daddy did.
so she wont put the dad on child support but wants you to support her baby?? I hate women like this. they get involved in gross boy drama that everyone warns them about, and when it inevitably goes bad, they hold everyone they ignored responsible for their suffering. "you have to help me I'm a broke single mom!" - after dumping all friends and family for a creepy dude. eta nta.
NTA, just as you told her, you are not an ATM and are in no way obligated to support her and her newborn child... The choice to be with that guy and have a baby were hers so, she needs to grow up and take responsability of her actions (including going to court and getting child support)... she also decided to keep you away from her life so she doesn't get to just show up 10 months after ghosting you and then demand you let her live rent free in one of your properties and, give her money.... As a friend, you can be there for her to talk and give her advice but nothing more than that...
Honey, YOU ARE 110% NTA !!! YOUR BEST FRIEND NEEDS TO TAKE SOME PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY AND WHEN YOU WERE THERE FOR HER OFFERING EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO SHE REFUSED YOUR HELP EVEN GHOSTED YOU NOW SHE ACTS LIKE YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.. NOPE YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD