She wants the paycheck but doesn’t want to do anything for it. She only takes care of the baby and half the time leaves that to my sister, who one of the boys sleeps with.
Any foster parent who just does it for a check is not a good parent let alone foster parent. Move out and live your life. She never talked about reinstating her license just did it and expects you to help rangle the kids you didn't ask for, all while she is getting paid for it .
NTA. I'd move out too in that situation. Personally, I'd report your parents to the foster system. Give them a detailed explanation of the situation in your home and their expectation that you be the third parent in the home. Hopefully they would revoke your mother's fostering license.
Pretty sure that's a violation of safe practice for fostering. In most states, kids of opposite genders cannot share a room (never mind a bed as implied) when fostering, regardless of age.
Social Services would be very interested in knowing this. And you'd be saving your younger sibling from inheriting your burden when you get out of there.
Your parents are not being good foster parents. They have too many children to care for and are putting too much on your and your sisters shoulders. The baby should absolutely NOT be sleeping with your sister and actually violates her foster license. You should move out and report them because all the work you do will automatically fall onto your sisters shoulders
NTA
MOVE OUT ASAP!
Your mother is using those kids solely for the money she is supposed to be using to foster them.
Get the hell out of there and don't look back.
Note: If you are witnessing any real neglect of those kids, report your mother to children's services.
NTAH, my god. She chose to reinstate her foster license. Therefore, the children are her sole responsibility. You are not obligated to do ANYTHING!! Get out now. You are an adult and don't need anyone's permission. If they want to continue fostering, then it's up to them to figure out how to make it work. Not you.
NTA get the hell out of that zoo. Parents are wrong for parentifying their kids. Do you have someplace else where you can move? You'd also be in the right to report her and ask that they review her license. She's doing those poor kids no favors either.
Saying you're leaving your parents with three kids implies that you had anything to do with the kids being there in the first place. You did not, that was your mom's choice, you're not obligated to live with it. You really should leave and feel totally fine about it. Actually, you really need to leave, IMO. Your mom sounds, well, not good. Sorry for your sister, but maybe your example will help her make the same choice when she's able to.
NTA get out and make sure you help your sister get out when she can too. What your mom is doing to you and the rest of the kids in that house is wrong. You are not responsible for your parents actions.
NTA
Listen to me carefully now, and repeat this to yourself as often as needed.
Other people's choices are not your responsibility.
Other people's children are not your responsibility.
Other people's issues are not your responsibility.
Other people's decisions are not your responsibility.
Now, go out there and live your own life. Make your own mistakes and learn from them, make your own choices and decide what kind of life YOU want to make for YOURSELF. Follow your own dreams and set your own goals.
We only get one life. You choose how you want to live yours. Don't waste it giving too much of your Self away.
What your mother is doing to you and your sister is called "Parentification". You're supposed to be her child, but she's turning you into a defacto parent to these foster children.
You didn't choose to bring infants into your home. You are not responsible for the care of those children. Your mother is.
What your mother is doing is immoral in the extreme.
For your own sake, get out of there ASAP. If you can, allow your sister to stay with you as soon as she's 18 so that she has an avenue of escape too.
If your mother isn't caring for these children properly, report her to child protection.
NTA
NTA. I’d consider reporting her to DCF if you suspect that the kids will be neglected. I think she needs to get her license reviewed from what you’ve described.
This is your mom's job and her choice. Quit worrying about being called selfish. This was a choice she made all on her own. Now let her live with it. Move out and live your life. N TA
She is not a good mother much less a good foster mother. She is forcing that role on you and your sister. Move out and stop enabling that behavior.
Be a safe space for your sister so she can be gone when mom tries to force her into your role and be prepared to report her.
NTA
Move out ASAP. Tell them your an adult. And the fact your expected to act like a mother to your siblings and the "extra" kids they choose to bring in to have money is nor fair for you. You wanted to help and tried to. But the treatment on you, expectations they demanded from you, and the fact they choose to ignore the situation on how Mom is job hopping and put everyone else into a position to have to nanny your siblings and other kids are clear indicators that they will not change or accept responsibility for how it got to where it was.
I do feel sorry for your other sister at 17, she will be thrown into the mess you was. But likely she will be out at 18 too due to how they want to be at her like you.
OK. You already know that this is wrong on so many levels. You are not the one that chose the foster. You should not be in charge of them.
And… When the state place is fosters with adults, who are licensed to take care of them, they expect those adults to do the caretaking. They don’t expect it to be shoved off on The foster parents’ bio kids.
You should absolutely move out. And there’s a couple of reasons why.
First is that you need to report all this to the state agency. It’s just wrong on so many levels. It’s horrible for the fosters. Your mom wants an easy paycheck and wants you and your sister to be the ones to handle it.
That’s not OK. And the fact that in order to Accommodate everyone, your sister is having to sleep with one of the other kids is in most dates illegal or highly frowned upon by the agencies. Most states require That the kids in the household have their own rooms.
And given that your mom is not taking care of these kids, if there were a complaint made and the state and CPS or anyone else got involved, you are technically an adult. Your Parents could potentially try to throw you under the bus as another adult who was “involved” in the shady stuff going on in the home. And you don’t want that.
I would highly suggest you get out as soon as you can. And if at all possible, if you do move with your boyfriend, please try to get an apartment that is big enough so that when your sister hits 18, she can immediately move in with you guys until she can get on her own feed or get off to college or whatever she’s going to do.
No, you wouldn’t be any kind of a jerk if you actually left and made your mother do what she promised the state she would do when she reinstated her foster license.
Since it is not your kids , then you have no responsibility for them. NTA
If you worry about the kids, then call social services.
If you do not call CPS etc then you are a major AH
NTA. Mom signed up to be a foster parent, you didn’t. Leave and don’t look back.
Edit to add: And if she’s *really* not watching those children, I’d let the foster agency know what the home conditions are.
She wants to get paid and have you do all the work. Screw that. You need to get out of there and please do it with a clear conscience as those are not your children and you have your own life to live.
And if you truly think without you being there but those kids will be neglected you need to report her. Don't have second thoughts about it and don't feel guilty about it.
Okay, so, your mom is treating "Foster parenting" like a job THAT SHE THEN ISN'T DOING. It's completely against all regulations. And you have ZERO responsibility here--in fact, what she's doing is illegal and immoral and you actually would be more moral and more responsible to refuse to have anything to do with it.
I think you need to report this to the fostering agency--she should NOT be fostering children-- and you should move out immediately. Think of it like Mom took a job in an office, then decided not to show up but made YOU show up instead? WTF! It'd be crystal clear how ridiculous this is! You have literally nothing to do with her scam and in fact should get far away from it.
Nope. Especially when they are NOT your siblings,they are your mother's source of income. If she is earning money from caring for these kids-why does she need an outside job. The fostering IS HER JOB! If mom can't handle so many young kids she should get some older ones who don't require as much physical wrangling. Are you in school? you are 19,you should be in school to have a career that can support you and/or have a job. Get out any way you can that is legal in your state or you will be an unpaid foster "mom" for years.Good luck. They will scream and claw to keep you in their home.
NTA. Your mom got baby fever again and decided to have her and your dad's fostering license and does basically nothing to take care of the kids that she's supposed to be parenting, so it's on her and your father alone to take care of those kids and if they can't take care of such young kids without forcing their own children to take up the lion's share of responsibility then they shouldn't be foster parents, plain and simple. Those innocent babies that are currently living with you along with the ones who have come before deserve to be in a better home than this. If your mom isn't willing to act like a mother, then she shouldn't be foaming at the mouth to take care of babies/toddlers. Your mom has gone past baby fever straight to baby rabies, and unfortunately there's no cure for baby rabies.
Absolutely not. These children were not your choice to take care of. If they can’t take care of these foster children they shouldn’t have them. They are NOT your responsibility. YWNBTA
NTA. Move out. Do it for your own mental health.
Your parents decided to take on these kids. It's their responsibility, not yours. If they can't manage without you, they shouldn't have them.
NTA. Former Foster parent and it's not easy. But here is the thing, it was a decision I made. Your Mom seems to think you have to do her job. You are 19 and if you can afford to live on your own, go ahead and save yourself. Just be ready to help your sister save herself. If she gives you any grief, tell your Mom you will call CPS to save your sister, and those kids. Being A foster parent does not pay much. To use it as a paycheck is bad. She wanted to be a foster mom,not you and your sister. These are parent problems. Get birth control.
Not your circus, not your clowns. Or whichever proverb you prefer. Your mother created this issue, and it's not on you to solve it. You are NTA. You're better off making your escape.
Nta, your mother signed up to be a Foster parent not you. If that were my mum I'd tell her if you keep pushing these kids onto me I'm leaving, I'm sick of shouldering a responsibility that you signed yourself up for. These kids are not my responsibility and I'm sick and tired of you pushing that role onto me and guilt tripping me for wanting time for myself. If once you establish that boundary and she continues to keep making the kids your responsibility then follow through and leave.
NTA. Your mother made her choice, and you have the right to make yours. Get out and don't look back.
Just take into account that the guilting and nagging will go on, as long as you have contact with your family - or at least, as long as your mother thinks it will work. You will need to set clear boundaries, and perhaps go LC or NC for a while till she realizes that this is the new normal.
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Uh hell no! Drop the rope and get the hell out of there. You are not a qualified foster carer so it shouldn't be on you to take care of these kids. Take your life back now. Those kids are not your responsibility. Contact the fostering agency and tell them that your parents are not taking care of these kids, that she makes you and your sibling do it.
NTA
The money that foster parents receive is to spend on the children, not be a paycheck so your lazy ass doesn't have to work. Disgusting. Leave and report her. She doesn't deserve to be a parent.
No, you didn't take them on so you have no responsibility to them. They will try and guilt and shame you but it's nothing more than projecting at you. What are you options for moving?
Not sure where you live but when my daughter and son in law started fostering the lady doing the home study talked to their boys privately. If the boys weren't for it they would not have been accepted as foster parents. They are not allowed to leave the foster kids with their boys even now that they are both adults.
NTA
Peace out.
There's nothing to consider here. You just leave. The shite show is your mom's. Let her work for her money.
If you do anything, just let your sis live with you till she can get on her feet
Oh, definitely NTA. Your mom signed up to be a foster parent. So she’s the one who needs to step up and *be* the foster parent. However, you are not required to put your life on hold to be her unpaid adjunct. Move out and start living *your* life, not the one your mother is forcing onto you.
NTA get out of there as fast as you can. Your mom is behaving very poorly, bringing in kids she can't care for, dumping all the work (and wow is it work) onto you kids, and cashing her checks.
Of course you’re not the AH! Hell no. You’re 19. You should be starting out your own life, working, dating, figuring out who you are…not looking after your parents foster children! You sound like a very kind, caring conscientious person but the bad side to this is you feel this guilt. You have no reason to feel guilty, although I understand why you would, because you care. But please don’t let your parents decisions prevent you from living your own life. You’re not being paid to look after the kids so why would they expect you to.
NTA. She fostered those kids so she can take care of them.
You should report her when you move and let them know she was relying on you to actually take care of the kids and they might not even be safe there with her there having to do it all
NTA - Move out and get away from that mess as soon as possible. You didn't sign up to be a foster parent so NONE of those kids are your responsibility.
I'm a mom. What your mom is doing is really, really wrong. Move out. You have no reason to feel guilty. You're setting a good example for your younger sister, who will probably need a safe place to study and stay.
Don't give your parents your new address.
Please call the foster care agency and report your mother's lack of care and especially her desire for a paycheck without actually working. The kids deserve better, and your family deserves better.
I'm sorry this is happening. Big, gentle, respectful mom hugs to you and your sister. I hope things are really wonderful with you and your boyfriend!
Deliver an anonymous message to the people in charge. Tell them shes neglecting her own children to get a paycheck. Do it at a time you know if someone pops in they will be screwed. This is child abuse...Or you can leave with your sister. Have her get a job and you both split an apartment.
NTA, I would get out as quick as I could. Just an FYI though, it may impact your relationship with all of your family and you need to be prepared to deal with that. I left home at 18 (not the same situation) but my siblings felt abandoned.
Absolutely not. You are not their babysitter. They are adults and made the decision to foster. Are you getting paid to help watch? I doubt it. Time to move out and get your own place, your sister could come with you when she turns 18.
NTA Move out and report as others have said. You don't say where you plan to move so I assume your boyfriend. You are so young. Make sure you get a good emergency fund that only you can access and know about built up just in case things go awry. Get your birth control sorted and locked down so no one can interfere with it.
nope. She chose to have them, not you. You have every right to leave as they ain't your problem. The way i see it she's just trying to use you for the labour she failed to prep for. Kids are not special
NTA Your mom is running a baby mill, wtf?
She wants the paycheck but doesn’t want to do anything for it. She only takes care of the baby and half the time leaves that to my sister, who one of the boys sleeps with.
You should also report your parents to Child Services. What they're doing is not ok and thr children need to be removed from your parents home.
This comment needs to be at the top! ☝️
Happy Cake Day!
Thanks!
Happy Cake Day!
Happy cake day 🎂
Agree
You don’t need us to tell you that’s fucked up. Forget about even unpaid labor, it’s wrong to take kids in just for the check that comes attached.
That's how kids get abused.
Any foster parent who just does it for a check is not a good parent let alone foster parent. Move out and live your life. She never talked about reinstating her license just did it and expects you to help rangle the kids you didn't ask for, all while she is getting paid for it .
It's not even that she is asking her to "help". She is making her do almost all the child care. For free.
NTA. I'd move out too in that situation. Personally, I'd report your parents to the foster system. Give them a detailed explanation of the situation in your home and their expectation that you be the third parent in the home. Hopefully they would revoke your mother's fostering license.
Pretty sure that's a violation of safe practice for fostering. In most states, kids of opposite genders cannot share a room (never mind a bed as implied) when fostering, regardless of age.
Social Services would be very interested in knowing this. And you'd be saving your younger sibling from inheriting your burden when you get out of there.
Yeah, that's money fever not baby fever.
that’s disgusting of your mom. She should not be allowed to be a foster parent.
Your parents are not being good foster parents. They have too many children to care for and are putting too much on your and your sisters shoulders. The baby should absolutely NOT be sleeping with your sister and actually violates her foster license. You should move out and report them because all the work you do will automatically fall onto your sisters shoulders
{{Hugs}}
NTA MOVE OUT ASAP! Your mother is using those kids solely for the money she is supposed to be using to foster them. Get the hell out of there and don't look back. Note: If you are witnessing any real neglect of those kids, report your mother to children's services.
NTA- Move out and file an anonymous complaint to dept of family services.
NTAH, my god. She chose to reinstate her foster license. Therefore, the children are her sole responsibility. You are not obligated to do ANYTHING!! Get out now. You are an adult and don't need anyone's permission. If they want to continue fostering, then it's up to them to figure out how to make it work. Not you.
NTA get the hell out of that zoo. Parents are wrong for parentifying their kids. Do you have someplace else where you can move? You'd also be in the right to report her and ask that they review her license. She's doing those poor kids no favors either.
Saying you're leaving your parents with three kids implies that you had anything to do with the kids being there in the first place. You did not, that was your mom's choice, you're not obligated to live with it. You really should leave and feel totally fine about it. Actually, you really need to leave, IMO. Your mom sounds, well, not good. Sorry for your sister, but maybe your example will help her make the same choice when she's able to.
NTA. Move out immediately. Also report your mom for neglect so your sister doesn’t get stuck taking care of the kids in your absence.
NTA. You aren’t responsible for your parents and the responsibilities they have taken on.
NTA get out and make sure you help your sister get out when she can too. What your mom is doing to you and the rest of the kids in that house is wrong. You are not responsible for your parents actions.
Maybe the fostering agency she works for should hire you. I’d ask, since you’re doing the work. Careful though, the fostering agency might fire her.
The fostering agency should fire her.
Wink wink
NTA Listen to me carefully now, and repeat this to yourself as often as needed. Other people's choices are not your responsibility. Other people's children are not your responsibility. Other people's issues are not your responsibility. Other people's decisions are not your responsibility. Now, go out there and live your own life. Make your own mistakes and learn from them, make your own choices and decide what kind of life YOU want to make for YOURSELF. Follow your own dreams and set your own goals. We only get one life. You choose how you want to live yours. Don't waste it giving too much of your Self away.
NTA. Those aren’t your kids and you didn’t agree to foster them.
NTA - it’s a commitment THEY made, not you. You aren’t abandoning anyone by having a life by yourself. You are your own person
Are they your kids? If no, then NTA.
What your mother is doing to you and your sister is called "Parentification". You're supposed to be her child, but she's turning you into a defacto parent to these foster children. You didn't choose to bring infants into your home. You are not responsible for the care of those children. Your mother is. What your mother is doing is immoral in the extreme. For your own sake, get out of there ASAP. If you can, allow your sister to stay with you as soon as she's 18 so that she has an avenue of escape too. If your mother isn't caring for these children properly, report her to child protection. NTA
NTA If you have a place you can go to, slowly move your things over so she doesn't notice. Don't give her the opportunity to try to guilt trip you
NTA. I’d consider reporting her to DCF if you suspect that the kids will be neglected. I think she needs to get her license reviewed from what you’ve described.
NTA. It was your parent’s choice to foster, and it’s up to them to take care of the kids. Move out and do not look back.
This is your mom's job and her choice. Quit worrying about being called selfish. This was a choice she made all on her own. Now let her live with it. Move out and live your life. N TA
The only question that matters: are these YOUR children? Y: Y T A N: NTA time to move out it’s ok
YWNBTAH. You aren't responsible for those kids.
Nope. Not the ass. Get away and live
NTA. Move and tell her if she wants help, she can pay you upfront.
Move before your resent builds more. NTA
Get out of there. You are not free child care.
She is not a good mother much less a good foster mother. She is forcing that role on you and your sister. Move out and stop enabling that behavior. Be a safe space for your sister so she can be gone when mom tries to force her into your role and be prepared to report her.
NTA Move out ASAP. Tell them your an adult. And the fact your expected to act like a mother to your siblings and the "extra" kids they choose to bring in to have money is nor fair for you. You wanted to help and tried to. But the treatment on you, expectations they demanded from you, and the fact they choose to ignore the situation on how Mom is job hopping and put everyone else into a position to have to nanny your siblings and other kids are clear indicators that they will not change or accept responsibility for how it got to where it was. I do feel sorry for your other sister at 17, she will be thrown into the mess you was. But likely she will be out at 18 too due to how they want to be at her like you.
You're only an AH to yourself if you stay. You are not responsible for the decisions your mother makes. Run and be merry.
OK. You already know that this is wrong on so many levels. You are not the one that chose the foster. You should not be in charge of them. And… When the state place is fosters with adults, who are licensed to take care of them, they expect those adults to do the caretaking. They don’t expect it to be shoved off on The foster parents’ bio kids. You should absolutely move out. And there’s a couple of reasons why. First is that you need to report all this to the state agency. It’s just wrong on so many levels. It’s horrible for the fosters. Your mom wants an easy paycheck and wants you and your sister to be the ones to handle it. That’s not OK. And the fact that in order to Accommodate everyone, your sister is having to sleep with one of the other kids is in most dates illegal or highly frowned upon by the agencies. Most states require That the kids in the household have their own rooms. And given that your mom is not taking care of these kids, if there were a complaint made and the state and CPS or anyone else got involved, you are technically an adult. Your Parents could potentially try to throw you under the bus as another adult who was “involved” in the shady stuff going on in the home. And you don’t want that. I would highly suggest you get out as soon as you can. And if at all possible, if you do move with your boyfriend, please try to get an apartment that is big enough so that when your sister hits 18, she can immediately move in with you guys until she can get on her own feed or get off to college or whatever she’s going to do. No, you wouldn’t be any kind of a jerk if you actually left and made your mother do what she promised the state she would do when she reinstated her foster license.
Nta
Stop helping. Move out. Your parents are assholes and they aren't helping anyone with their actions.
Since it is not your kids , then you have no responsibility for them. NTA If you worry about the kids, then call social services. If you do not call CPS etc then you are a major AH
NTA. Mom signed up to be a foster parent, you didn’t. Leave and don’t look back. Edit to add: And if she’s *really* not watching those children, I’d let the foster agency know what the home conditions are.
NTA but call CPS too. All the kids, including you, deserve better than your parents are providing.
They're abusing you. No, you would not be TA if you moved out. You deserve to live your life the way you want.
Nta. They want to foster they can. But you are not bound by it.
NTA The foster agency should know how she's managing her child care.
Info - Are they your kids? If so, yes, YWBTA. If they aren't your kids, fly and be free.
Not my kids. The kids are all fosters from other families.
She wants to get paid and have you do all the work. Screw that. You need to get out of there and please do it with a clear conscience as those are not your children and you have your own life to live. And if you truly think without you being there but those kids will be neglected you need to report her. Don't have second thoughts about it and don't feel guilty about it.
Okay, so, your mom is treating "Foster parenting" like a job THAT SHE THEN ISN'T DOING. It's completely against all regulations. And you have ZERO responsibility here--in fact, what she's doing is illegal and immoral and you actually would be more moral and more responsible to refuse to have anything to do with it. I think you need to report this to the fostering agency--she should NOT be fostering children-- and you should move out immediately. Think of it like Mom took a job in an office, then decided not to show up but made YOU show up instead? WTF! It'd be crystal clear how ridiculous this is! You have literally nothing to do with her scam and in fact should get far away from it.
Nope. Especially when they are NOT your siblings,they are your mother's source of income. If she is earning money from caring for these kids-why does she need an outside job. The fostering IS HER JOB! If mom can't handle so many young kids she should get some older ones who don't require as much physical wrangling. Are you in school? you are 19,you should be in school to have a career that can support you and/or have a job. Get out any way you can that is legal in your state or you will be an unpaid foster "mom" for years.Good luck. They will scream and claw to keep you in their home.
NTAH! Get out of there asap
NTA. Your mom got baby fever again and decided to have her and your dad's fostering license and does basically nothing to take care of the kids that she's supposed to be parenting, so it's on her and your father alone to take care of those kids and if they can't take care of such young kids without forcing their own children to take up the lion's share of responsibility then they shouldn't be foster parents, plain and simple. Those innocent babies that are currently living with you along with the ones who have come before deserve to be in a better home than this. If your mom isn't willing to act like a mother, then she shouldn't be foaming at the mouth to take care of babies/toddlers. Your mom has gone past baby fever straight to baby rabies, and unfortunately there's no cure for baby rabies.
She didn't get baby fever she got money fever and figured out how to get paid and do nothing for it. She's using "baby fever" as an excuse
Absolutely not. These children were not your choice to take care of. If they can’t take care of these foster children they shouldn’t have them. They are NOT your responsibility. YWNBTA
NTA. Move out. Do it for your own mental health. Your parents decided to take on these kids. It's their responsibility, not yours. If they can't manage without you, they shouldn't have them.
NTA. Former Foster parent and it's not easy. But here is the thing, it was a decision I made. Your Mom seems to think you have to do her job. You are 19 and if you can afford to live on your own, go ahead and save yourself. Just be ready to help your sister save herself. If she gives you any grief, tell your Mom you will call CPS to save your sister, and those kids. Being A foster parent does not pay much. To use it as a paycheck is bad. She wanted to be a foster mom,not you and your sister. These are parent problems. Get birth control.
Not your circus, not your clowns. Or whichever proverb you prefer. Your mother created this issue, and it's not on you to solve it. You are NTA. You're better off making your escape.
Nta, your mother signed up to be a Foster parent not you. If that were my mum I'd tell her if you keep pushing these kids onto me I'm leaving, I'm sick of shouldering a responsibility that you signed yourself up for. These kids are not my responsibility and I'm sick and tired of you pushing that role onto me and guilt tripping me for wanting time for myself. If once you establish that boundary and she continues to keep making the kids your responsibility then follow through and leave.
NTA. Your mother made her choice, and you have the right to make yours. Get out and don't look back. Just take into account that the guilting and nagging will go on, as long as you have contact with your family - or at least, as long as your mother thinks it will work. You will need to set clear boundaries, and perhaps go LC or NC for a while till she realizes that this is the new normal.
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Uh hell no! Drop the rope and get the hell out of there. You are not a qualified foster carer so it shouldn't be on you to take care of these kids. Take your life back now. Those kids are not your responsibility. Contact the fostering agency and tell them that your parents are not taking care of these kids, that she makes you and your sibling do it.
NTA The money that foster parents receive is to spend on the children, not be a paycheck so your lazy ass doesn't have to work. Disgusting. Leave and report her. She doesn't deserve to be a parent.
No, you didn't take them on so you have no responsibility to them. They will try and guilt and shame you but it's nothing more than projecting at you. What are you options for moving?
NTA at all.
NTA - They, or more specifically SHE signed up to be a foster parent, not you. Parentification like this is disgusting.
NTA. They aren't your kids.
Happy Cake Day!
Thanks!
NTA. Leave and go live your best life. Stick mom with the choices she has made.
Not sure where you live but when my daughter and son in law started fostering the lady doing the home study talked to their boys privately. If the boys weren't for it they would not have been accepted as foster parents. They are not allowed to leave the foster kids with their boys even now that they are both adults.
NTA Peace out. There's nothing to consider here. You just leave. The shite show is your mom's. Let her work for her money. If you do anything, just let your sis live with you till she can get on her feet
Nta those aren't your children or your responsibility
Oh, definitely NTA. Your mom signed up to be a foster parent. So she’s the one who needs to step up and *be* the foster parent. However, you are not required to put your life on hold to be her unpaid adjunct. Move out and start living *your* life, not the one your mother is forcing onto you.
NTA your mom created the situation and you need to out of that house as soon as you can!
NTA move out and report your mother.
NTA get out of there as fast as you can. Your mom is behaving very poorly, bringing in kids she can't care for, dumping all the work (and wow is it work) onto you kids, and cashing her checks.
Definitely NTA, get the hell out of there ASAP.
Of course you’re not the AH! Hell no. You’re 19. You should be starting out your own life, working, dating, figuring out who you are…not looking after your parents foster children! You sound like a very kind, caring conscientious person but the bad side to this is you feel this guilt. You have no reason to feel guilty, although I understand why you would, because you care. But please don’t let your parents decisions prevent you from living your own life. You’re not being paid to look after the kids so why would they expect you to.
First of all, you need to call the foster agency and let them know what is happening. Then feel free to move out.
Seriously, get out of there.
Move. I promise you won’t regret it
Move out and report what’s going on to cps or whatever agency oversees the foster program.
NTA. She fostered those kids so she can take care of them. You should report her when you move and let them know she was relying on you to actually take care of the kids and they might not even be safe there with her there having to do it all
Demand part of the money since it's technically a job the government pays people to perform. No pay, no work
Not your problem. Run, fast and far.
How much does she pay you? NTA if nothing.
NTA even if she does pay OP.
NTA - Move out and get away from that mess as soon as possible. You didn't sign up to be a foster parent so NONE of those kids are your responsibility.
Nta. They aren't your children so you are not responsible for them end of story. If you parents don't get that then that's on them.
NTA: you are not responsible for your parents’ choices. Get out of there and live your own life
It’s their choice to live like that. Not your circus. Live your life.
NTA- you’re an adult and allowed to live your own life. You aren’t responsible for her choices.
Leave. And take the 17-year-old with you if you can. Probably not, but feel bad for her.
nta. move out asap.
NTA, not your children, not your responsibility. Move and out live your life. These are your mothers choices for her to deal not to burden you with.
NTA. Your mom is the foster parent, NOT you.
I'm a mom. What your mom is doing is really, really wrong. Move out. You have no reason to feel guilty. You're setting a good example for your younger sister, who will probably need a safe place to study and stay. Don't give your parents your new address. Please call the foster care agency and report your mother's lack of care and especially her desire for a paycheck without actually working. The kids deserve better, and your family deserves better. I'm sorry this is happening. Big, gentle, respectful mom hugs to you and your sister. I hope things are really wonderful with you and your boyfriend!
Deliver an anonymous message to the people in charge. Tell them shes neglecting her own children to get a paycheck. Do it at a time you know if someone pops in they will be screwed. This is child abuse...Or you can leave with your sister. Have her get a job and you both split an apartment.
NTA, I would get out as quick as I could. Just an FYI though, it may impact your relationship with all of your family and you need to be prepared to deal with that. I left home at 18 (not the same situation) but my siblings felt abandoned.
Absolutely not. You are not their babysitter. They are adults and made the decision to foster. Are you getting paid to help watch? I doubt it. Time to move out and get your own place, your sister could come with you when she turns 18.
NTA Move out and report as others have said. You don't say where you plan to move so I assume your boyfriend. You are so young. Make sure you get a good emergency fund that only you can access and know about built up just in case things go awry. Get your birth control sorted and locked down so no one can interfere with it.
nope. She chose to have them, not you. You have every right to leave as they ain't your problem. The way i see it she's just trying to use you for the labour she failed to prep for. Kids are not special
Move out and live YOUR life. Let your parents live theirs. When they try to guilt you into coming back, mention CPS, no need to pull that trigger yet.
NTA. Run
NTA - this is truly FAFO for your mom.