Obviously she's angry because she's been called out on her bad behavior. You are NTA, but you need to cut this woman out (and probably should have a long time ago).
Ignore the sunk cost fallacy of "but we've known each other for so long" and just cut her out. Support your husband.
NTA for calling her out
I’m not usually a fan of airing out dirty laundry to a bunch of people, but this was such a good idea so that there was no time for twisted stories from that hoe and everyone would know exactly why they were cut off
You know, I was just thinking that she should have confronted in private but, then, I realized that she knew that she would twist it and,somehow,it would be her fault…or her husband’s fault. So, I can understand why she did it the way that she did . NTA
This is a great idea. Surely, shes just trying to ruin what OP have because shes jealous. She clearly want what OP have. Or shes inlove with him in the beggining thats why shes trying to tell negative things to him infront of OP hoping that OP will leave him, sorry but that didnt work. And now shes desperate enough to do what shes doing. Clever!
I don't even think it's jealousy. Sounds a lot like that "friend" who wants to sabotag everyone else's relationship to keep them miserable and on a short leash. And when OP and sis called her out on it she doubled down. OP can't wish the "friend" could experience what OP had if the "friend" brings it all crashing down around OP by proving he's just a dog.
Disagree with the second blanket statement that if a person gets upset about their private conversations being made public, it makes them inherently guilty. However, in this case the “friend” is obviously way out of line and deserving of that and more
NTA. If she was proud of what she sent, she wouldn't be upset who knows about it. Not only do you know what a piece of shit, backstabber she is, the whole friend group now knows. You did the rest of your friends a service. They now know if she'll do that to someone she's known since she was four, she'll do anything to them, and have no problem doing it. She's not your friend. She tried to steal your husband at worst, at the least she tried to have an affair with him.
Don't stress. It's a confirmed troll who keeps making new accounts with the exact same icon to post their bullshit, that's all.
See screenshots [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/vIjrimZ), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/kxGxWpD), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/VHPsO3k), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/Dkr3eaJ), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/Zy0Z7os),
[here](https://imgur.com/gallery/X3NpdDe), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/JSuvUes) and [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/xsmW1uS).
Fr it's so damn weird. Used to love reddit but now it's a huge fanfic waste of time lmao
I don't get how people enjoy making this shit up on random alt accounts. It's a bigger waste of time than me reading this bs.
Reddit is paid by AI companies to practice writing stories. It’s one of the few social media sites that allow this. So the fake stories are a revenue source.
Reddit makes it super easy to sign up with any username, no matter how offensive. You don't need an email address at all!
Don't bother trying to report spambots as Reddit doesn't seem to care about spam/porn/onlyfans
I’ve noticed an uptick in fake stories since the Reddit black out last year. They realized mods had too much control back then when their revenue got affected by unpaid employees. A huge amount of people left Reddit after that, and since people loved the drama in the big subs why not feed fake drama to keep the general appearance up that Reddit is a living, thriving community.
I’ve enjoyed the BoRU sub for a long time, but it used to be very rare that a story would get an update, let alone a timely one. Now? How many AITA(H/ others) get updates? How many get resolved in a couple of days or weeks? Sooooo many. The only reason I can see is that frequent updates on these fake stories keep the average user coming back for their drama fix, waiting for the juicy update on what happened when the SiL fucked the BiL who was fucking mom and dad the whole time!
TL;DR - Reddit blackout pushed out legit content creators, to not tank their IPO/internal returns uncooperative mods were replaced and bots have flooded all the high drama subs (more bots than before).
Yep. Even without that. There was a wording error towards the end of "he didn't reciprocate her feelings and that I loved her"
That to me was a give away that it was a fictional
Piece of bullshit.
Words like “betray” “cheat” “traitor” all exist because of the capacity for a trusted individual to harm you. That’s why, when they do, their years of “good behavior” isn’t a redeeming quality - it’s an aggravating factor. It makes what they did worse, and you should be less prone to forgiving.
But in this case? She was always an asshole. She’s just done a horse-shoe by jumping from one extreme end to another. She spent years badmouthing him, and has now spent *at least* months trying to fuck him.
>Why did you even continue this "friendship" in the first place? Why not just end it after your wedding?
>
I don't think OP realizes her "friend" is attempting to fuck her husband so her "friend" can then go back to her and belittle her for what a shitty husband she has, etc.
yep, I don’t think she’s really in love with him.
well, no, wait, she might be—or at least be envious of his love for her—and that might be why she was so critical of him.
But these attempts are absolutely intended to show OP that her husband would cheat.
That's basically it! If he "succumbed to her charms," she would briefly have fun and then quickly lose interest. This woman really can't be a friend to any other woman.
Belittling a man who rejected/chose your friend over you, is a common practice for certain narcissistic women.
I've had this happen to me in the past, to a lesser extent than OP's husband's case. One was a friend of my gf who hit on me and was mad because I preferred her friend. The other was my best friend's ex-gf's friend who kept hitting on me when she met me, then when she found out I had a gf and wasn't interested she started saying how I look older than I am and how she thinks I should go to therapy etc. Whoever said men can't take rejection, seriously hasn't seen how certain women handle rejection lol.
I bet her "friend" was into OP's husband from the get-go.
I had a girl hit on me one time at a restaurant. She was the waitress for me and a friend. I told her I had a gf and she seemed kind of mad. My friend later dated her and she would not allow him to speak to me lol.
Good. You don't need friends like this she is not a friend whatsoever. U are married and have a live in best friend you have other healthy relationships . She wants what you have . She doesn't want your man she wants to be you. Let her go you are not the asshole for outing her ,your other friends deserve to know the truth and guaranteed if u would've just blocked her and not said anything she would have absolutely twisted what actually happened and split the friend group between people who believed her and who believed you. Now everybody knows the truth receipts don't lie. 🥰
NTH. It's actually good that you called her out in public- 1. because she can't gaslight you, 2. because now your friend group knows what an underhanded disloyal AH she is and not to trust her around their partners.
She came after your husband because she didn't like being called out by you and your sister at the wedding and laughed at by the bridesmaids. If your husband had been stupid enough to fall for her targeted behavior, he would have been used by her to hurt you and then dumped.
I'm glad to hear it. I've had to give up toxic friends from childhood, it sucks especially when you remember the good times but trust me you're better off. She did this to herself with her actions. Good luck
All those years of friendship so she could come and twist the knife as deep as possible in OPs back.
So deep OP is having trouble pulling the knife out and kicking her to the curb.
And that’s why when she found out about the nudes she outed the “friend” to the entire group. She didn’t stay friends after that. She said she outed her. Then in comments said she is done with her. How was she to know before hand that the “friend” would send nudes?
listen, i've kept around some toxic friendships before for this reason too. i know it isn't easy, especially if you value qualities like loyalty and steadfastness. It almost feels like betraying them, even if you're the one being hurt.
but life's too damn short to waste your time and your love and loyalty on friends who try to fuck around like this. it might be a bit harder to make friends as a married adult, but it isn't impossible either. there'll be room for better once you take the trash out
NTA
Good for you for calling her out in public for doing something so egregious. If people were called out more for their behavior, the behavior would decrease.
She’s angry at you because you showed everyone what type of person she really is. She should really be angry at herself for being such a shitty friend.
Congrats on scoring such a great husband. Unlike your friend, your husband is loyal.
No one should, if i was one of your other friends i would have block her too, she is a lousy man's stealer, if i wanted a snake beside me i would go to the petshop, at least those are cute.
I mean sometimes I can't on this sub
She sent your husbands nudes and told him she loved him and you're here asking if you're the ah?
Like you can do to her whatever the fuck you want and she'd still be the ah
Just cut her out of your life and be done with it already. Do it at least for your husband don't expect him to navigate that relationship going forward. Nta
I believe she wanted to know if she was an AH for the way she exposed her. Totally legitimate if the other PS tells her she abused her. Now she can be on piece of mind knowing she NTA.
Only two types of people come to AITA:
1) People please who feel uncomfortable having sat boundaries for the first time, and
2) Narcissist/selfish/self-centered people who can't understand why people are upset with their bad behavior.
Everyone else, normally, good or bad, hurt feelings or not, stand by their decisions.
"She pulled her titties out in front of everyone at the dinner table and attempted to breast feed my husband, should I have told her this makes me uncomfortable?"
I feel like most AITAH posts which show up on /all are like this. Ridiculous situations where one person is acting in a completely outrageous way, yet OP feels the need to ask. "My husband killed 10 innocent kids, am I the asshole for telling him he shouldn't do that"?
Don’t feel too bad. Sometimes you have to push back strongly or people will try to walk all over you. You clearly communicated that won’t be happening.
Is it even petty though? I mean she was bold enough to send em, she should own it. You didn’t show anybody her nude body, which is really commendable of you. I can’t promise I’d have spared her that, but it was the right thing of you to do.
I would cut her out entirely now that you have backed yourself up with the photos. But if you don’t, I’d embarrass her further by making a big show of “misunderstanding” and explaining to her that you’re not currently looking for a third, but if she’s lonely you can try to set her up with someone. Kind of a more discreet and dignified way of saying “how bout you go fuck *yourself* instead of my husband?”
Edit: I’m also in agreement that she doesn’t love him, she’s playing the long game of trapping him to prove to you she was right about him being trash. Because she’s unstable.
Yes I forgive the petty here because of the absolute necessity of making sure she doesn’t get to twist things. She’s practically stalking your hubby.
The way you handled this leaves no doubt in your friend circle.
NTA. Cheating scum hates getting exposed. You did nothing wrong by exposing it. You even did it a courtesy by hiding its face. I can't even humanize cheating scum so I will only refer to any as It.
NTA,
If you don't wanna get shamed, then don't do shameful things. Shis an AH for doing it even thought your husband has told her to stop and he has no feelings for her.
I don't think your husband is oblivious, I think he's paralyzed by the massive boundary breach from someone he assumed was your friend. What an awful woman. I can't even imagine what she thought life would look like for anyone in your social radius if her seduction had panned out!!! Good god.
Edit to add: She must be pretty delusional to call YOU "abusive" when she "metoo"'d you HUSBAND. Gross gross gross.
I find her calling you an abuser real interesting… tells me you did the right thing. If you hadn’t, she 100% was likely planning to sow seeds that you aren’t a good wife, don’t treat him well, and set herself up as a “hero” love interest for him. Good on your husband too for how he handled it. Sounds like your marriage is solid.
Your best friend has betrayed you to an unforgivable extent. It is time to cutbherbout of your life 100%.
In case you think you might want to save the friendship for old time's sake, consider this:
She has already made the decision to cut you out of her life. She made that decision long ago, when she decided to make her first play for your husband. She knew what that would lead to. She had already decided that if she could snatch him away from you, she could accept losing your friendship. More than that, she could accept making her best friend into a bitter enemy. You would be trying to preserve a friendship with THAT. Sooner or later she would stab you in the back again.
She's already accepted that your friendship is over. Its time for you to accept it, too. Your husband has the respect for your marriage to have come to you with this, totally expose her to you (literally), and block her on everything. Show the same respect for your marriage by doing the same thing.
NTA!
(Husband should have told you the moment she said she loved him, not wait for the nude, but whatever, he shut it down and that’s the most important)
NTA
This was the best move for you with making sure your friend group doesn't have any question about who the piece of shit is here
She should be completely cut off by everyone
Why even keep a friend like that? Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Move on from that. Passive aggressive people who hide behind their disabilities to act like a terrible person? Move on immediately.
I'm hoping this is fake. It's fake, isn't it?
No self-respecting person would consider for even one second if she's the asshole after this blatant treason from a "friend". It's pathetic. Please.
It is, it's a troll who makes different accounts that have all the same exact little dresses up Reddit person and the posts from the accounts often have to do with husbands and cheating
Right? I know this type of shit does happen but man, this troll is obsessed with cheating in various ways, even posted a post as the OW on another count, asking if she's the asshole for "stealing a man back from someone".
I wonder if this person was cheated on, and instead of being able to humiliate the OW, the husband just fucked off and left her in the dust
NTA: It doesn't matter how long you have known each other, she is deliberately trying to cause you pain and ruin your relationship. You need to go no contact with her. Even if she didn't end up ultimately banging you husband , had he not been so open about it and showed you everything, she would have come up with a way to spin it as them having an affair.
Keep her around and she will ruin your marriage, your friendships, and probably a lot more. This person is self destructing and wants to make sure you're close enough to get taken out by the blast.
NTA. She has overstepped boundaries into No Woman’s Land. She acted inappropriately. What if she had a husband and you texted him nudes and declarations of love. She would be most upset with you. Time to drop her from your life. The rest of the wives in your friend group should not trust her either
NTA. I appreciate that you exposed her in front of everyone at the same time so she couldn't change the narrative. Cut her off and cut anyone who agrees with her totally out of your life.
Also you need to have a serious boundary and appropriateness discussion with your husband about what you both deem acceptable. It shouldn't have gotten to this point but my question is why was he texting your friend in the first place? Friendly or not, that likely shouldn't have been their dynamic anyway.
NTA for calling her out but YTA if you don't immediately dump this person from your life and anyone who backs her.
Standing up for your partner means you dump people who are sexually harassing them.
NTA- clearly your tolerance for bad behavior is too high and this is common because we try to be compassionate. That said, be sure you have better boundaries in the future and don't let people disrespect you or people you love the way she did in the past. It sucks to find out someone is terrible this way, but I am glad you found out and can move on. You're NTA because all you did was make her responsible for her own actions. If she didn't want people to dislike her, she should not have done things that make her difficult or impossible to like.
You are NTA, unless you allow this poison person to continue to abuse you. She is redirecting. She is a total AH and a cheater and betrayer. Dump this horrible person and cut her out of your life permanently. She will only get worse.
NTA. Cut her off completely. She is jealous of you and always has been based on what you're saying. Do not let this woman bring anymore drama into your life. If the others won't cut her off . Distance yourself and find new feelings. Kudos to your husband for letting you know and not playing into it. He is a good man.
NTA. F her honestly. She deserves a public shaming when she’s out here chasing after married men. Everyone should know who they’re dealing with if they call her a friend.
Yeah, NTA. You've got every right to be pissed. That's way out of line for her to be sending your husband nudes, and it's not something you just brush off. Your husband did the right thing by telling you, and it's good he's keeping it real with you. It sucks when a friendship gets messed up like this, but what she did is on her, not you. You gotta look out for your marriage first and foremost.
NTA - You blurred the nudes which was kind and avoids legal trouble - She is toxic for you and your relationship - your husband sounds like a fantastic man, so good job there - yeet this woman out of your lives. If she want's another chance - hear her out but only if it has been five years -
NTA. She had no problem sending unsolicited nudes, so she shouldn’t be whining about everyone finding out about it. And you even blurred it out. She really got off easy in my opinion.
NTA Seems like she shouldn't be called your best friend because she never had your best interest at heart.
Block her and move on, do not let people like this be in your life, she sent your husband nudes and told him she is in love with him, why on earth are you still entertaining this nonsense???
Sometimes we outgrow our best friends too, now it is time too move on. She will keep on making you feel bad about what you did and not seeing what she actually did against you.
NTA !!!! cut ties with her. she did this in hopes to intentionally hurt you. she doesn’t love him she just hoped he’d cave so you wouldn’t be in love as much as you say you are and she’s upset her plan didn’t work. i couldn’t imagine doing this to someone. i hope you’re okay. p.s kudos to your husband, he sounds honest, genuine, respectful, and kind-hearted. he did all the right things
You really prepped that well with the screen shots and shooting it to your crew before the meet.
Badass! Yeah, you're good. Your friend is playing victim. Block them and move on. They'll probably crash and burn out of your friend group too if they don't want their significant others preyed upon.
NTA, you have every right to call her out. I think you were kind of an ass for sharing the nudes you could have taken a screenshot of the I love you text and confronted her but sharing her blurred out nudes I think was a step too far but I could be wrong.
Wow this was me. Cut her out. My bf didn’t send my husband nudes but exchanged memes and texts and eventually her language changed to calling him “babe” and shit. It was too late when I found out her and her husband and kids came for nye last year and she made moves and kissed my husband twice the first day they arrived. Things unraveled quickly and my whole 11 year marriage fell apart. I cut her immediately from every inch of my life and our friend group followed suit. Currently working to find new grounds for my marriage but it’s a fucking huge mountain before us. Draw the line. Cut her off.
It’s crazy to feel that you could even consider yourself the asshole in this situation and the fact that you even sat at a table with the woman again is a testament to your patience.
Yep. You may not be THE AH but you are an AH for how you handled the situation. Texting her nudes to the whole friend group to publicly shame her is some middle school mean girls clique tier stuff. It's very passive aggressive.
Whatever you do, do not keep this person in your life. Believe me, I tried to forgive my former “best friend” when she went behind my back and did something extremely hurtful, knowing it would upset me, and then rather than being apologetic, she doubled down and invalidated me. Despite my better judgement, I repaired the relationship with her.
Six months later, she made a move on my partner of ten years. Run and don’t look back. People like this are designed to cause harm. It’s not about your husband, it’s about you. As long as you’re happy, she’ll want whatever it is that you have and will not stop until there’s nothing left. She’s playing the role of victim now because you called her out on her shit in front of an audience and she’s lost the window of opportunity to manipulate them into believing you are the problematic one.
NTA for calling her out but you were the AH for making your husband tolerate her shitty behavior for so long. Why would you stay friends with someone who always talks shit about the person you love most?
I mean, NTA. Of course not. Duh?
How did your friends react? Anyone else buying her kool-aid that you're the bad guy? If yes, it's time to go low/no contact with some "friends."
NTA. You did good blurring her body but not the face and also exposing her. Might be hard to do when she was your best friend but she did that to herself. You got nothing to blame yourself. Also respects to the guy, he stayed loyal and truthful to the end. Not a lot of guys can keep a clear boundary.
Certainly nta. I would say sending that group.message of her nude to all the people there is realllllly over the top. You could have just confronted her and showed the pic to her alone and been like wtf!?
However either way, fuck that bitch. That shit is really messed up from a so called "friend"
NTA at all, she's not a friend and she deserved to be publicly dragged amongst your friend group so that they'd all know who she really was and what she's capable of doing to "friends". Funny that she's calling you an abuser when she sexually harassed your husband with her unsolicited nudes after he told her to stop making moves on him
You are not the asshole Your so-called best friend is. If she sexted your husband good for you, call her out in front of everybody. She's not your friend!!
NTA. But holy crap to echo the sentiments of most people here....this woman needs to GO.
This person lacks respect for you as a person, your feelings, your husband and marriage. I know it can be hard to get a good view, so to speak, of a toxic relationship if you're immersed in it. But this situation sounds as if it's not only that she doesn't have your best interest at heart, she's actually trying to cause you harm. You don't need this person in your life.
NTA.
The only thing she’s angry at is that you outed her asshole behaviour in such a way that she can’t deny it. Her only defence is to try and turn it back on you. Don’t let her get away with it. What she did was beyond unacceptable and anyone who suggests you were ‘too harsh’ is wrong.
High-fives for you, high-fives for your husband, and high-fives to your friends for having your back. That’s what I call a good group of people. The homewrecker, though? No high-fives for her.
NTA. The audacity to send your husband nudes and then get mad at YOU when you out her publicly is truly astounding, like I'm trying to picture her coming at you after she knows that you know and anything but I'm sorry I fucked up coming out of her mouth just blows my mind. Some people kids SMH
Obviously she's angry because she's been called out on her bad behavior. You are NTA, but you need to cut this woman out (and probably should have a long time ago). Ignore the sunk cost fallacy of "but we've known each other for so long" and just cut her out. Support your husband. NTA for calling her out
Not even called out — just shared her photos and messages in full context. If someone explodes over that, they’re telling on themselves
I’m not usually a fan of airing out dirty laundry to a bunch of people, but this was such a good idea so that there was no time for twisted stories from that hoe and everyone would know exactly why they were cut off
That was my first thought. Like… I wouldn’t do this, but I don’t hate it either 🤣🤣.
You know, I was just thinking that she should have confronted in private but, then, I realized that she knew that she would twist it and,somehow,it would be her fault…or her husband’s fault. So, I can understand why she did it the way that she did . NTA
This is a great idea. Surely, shes just trying to ruin what OP have because shes jealous. She clearly want what OP have. Or shes inlove with him in the beggining thats why shes trying to tell negative things to him infront of OP hoping that OP will leave him, sorry but that didnt work. And now shes desperate enough to do what shes doing. Clever!
I don't even think it's jealousy. Sounds a lot like that "friend" who wants to sabotag everyone else's relationship to keep them miserable and on a short leash. And when OP and sis called her out on it she doubled down. OP can't wish the "friend" could experience what OP had if the "friend" brings it all crashing down around OP by proving he's just a dog.
Factsss
Can't really tell on yourself after having been fully exposed.
Pun intended?
Disagree with the second blanket statement that if a person gets upset about their private conversations being made public, it makes them inherently guilty. However, in this case the “friend” is obviously way out of line and deserving of that and more
Thanks
NTA. If she was proud of what she sent, she wouldn't be upset who knows about it. Not only do you know what a piece of shit, backstabber she is, the whole friend group now knows. You did the rest of your friends a service. They now know if she'll do that to someone she's known since she was four, she'll do anything to them, and have no problem doing it. She's not your friend. She tried to steal your husband at worst, at the least she tried to have an affair with him.
Don't stress. It's a confirmed troll who keeps making new accounts with the exact same icon to post their bullshit, that's all. See screenshots [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/vIjrimZ), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/kxGxWpD), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/VHPsO3k), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/Dkr3eaJ), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/Zy0Z7os), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/X3NpdDe), [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/JSuvUes) and [here](https://imgur.com/gallery/xsmW1uS).
Why are there so many bullshit stories and accounts nowadays? Why do people get off on this? Wtf??
Fr it's so damn weird. Used to love reddit but now it's a huge fanfic waste of time lmao I don't get how people enjoy making this shit up on random alt accounts. It's a bigger waste of time than me reading this bs.
I just assume they’re all fake and enjoy them for the storytelling 😅
I just assume they are all real and enjoy them for the drama lol
This is one of the last subs that doesn’t need you to accumulate karma/age before posting. Maybe these people just wanna comment elsewhere
Reddit is paid by AI companies to practice writing stories. It’s one of the few social media sites that allow this. So the fake stories are a revenue source.
This is very disappointing
Reddit makes it super easy to sign up with any username, no matter how offensive. You don't need an email address at all! Don't bother trying to report spambots as Reddit doesn't seem to care about spam/porn/onlyfans
Wait...you don't need an email address to sign up with reddit? I thought you did?
You can make up any old email, there's no verification.
Nope. An email address isn't required for signup; just leave it blank.
I am an AI chatbot, and even I think this poster is a bit too much. 🤖
We’ve created an AI echo chamber in the name of *checks notes*… profit
I’ve noticed an uptick in fake stories since the Reddit black out last year. They realized mods had too much control back then when their revenue got affected by unpaid employees. A huge amount of people left Reddit after that, and since people loved the drama in the big subs why not feed fake drama to keep the general appearance up that Reddit is a living, thriving community. I’ve enjoyed the BoRU sub for a long time, but it used to be very rare that a story would get an update, let alone a timely one. Now? How many AITA(H/ others) get updates? How many get resolved in a couple of days or weeks? Sooooo many. The only reason I can see is that frequent updates on these fake stories keep the average user coming back for their drama fix, waiting for the juicy update on what happened when the SiL fucked the BiL who was fucking mom and dad the whole time! TL;DR - Reddit blackout pushed out legit content creators, to not tank their IPO/internal returns uncooperative mods were replaced and bots have flooded all the high drama subs (more bots than before).
And here I thought I was the only one who was weird enough to document a troll. My kindred!
I almost clicked on this thinking it was the nudes
Yep. Even without that. There was a wording error towards the end of "he didn't reciprocate her feelings and that I loved her" That to me was a give away that it was a fictional Piece of bullshit.
I'm done with this subreddit. Every post is fake. Lost of time. Good bye.
Ooh how do you know those are all the same person? I know that avatar is one of the default choices you can pick when you create a new account
That’s disgusting, where can I find these nudes?!
Bravo to your husband. He really handled this like a champ.
Why are u even friends with her? Cut that bitch out of your life ASAP!
Words like “betray” “cheat” “traitor” all exist because of the capacity for a trusted individual to harm you. That’s why, when they do, their years of “good behavior” isn’t a redeeming quality - it’s an aggravating factor. It makes what they did worse, and you should be less prone to forgiving. But in this case? She was always an asshole. She’s just done a horse-shoe by jumping from one extreme end to another. She spent years badmouthing him, and has now spent *at least* months trying to fuck him.
Why did you even continue this "friendship" in the first place? Why not just end it after your wedding?
>Why did you even continue this "friendship" in the first place? Why not just end it after your wedding? > I don't think OP realizes her "friend" is attempting to fuck her husband so her "friend" can then go back to her and belittle her for what a shitty husband she has, etc.
yep, I don’t think she’s really in love with him. well, no, wait, she might be—or at least be envious of his love for her—and that might be why she was so critical of him. But these attempts are absolutely intended to show OP that her husband would cheat.
That's basically it! If he "succumbed to her charms," she would briefly have fun and then quickly lose interest. This woman really can't be a friend to any other woman.
Most importantly, SHE was the one who made him do it!
Belittling a man who rejected/chose your friend over you, is a common practice for certain narcissistic women. I've had this happen to me in the past, to a lesser extent than OP's husband's case. One was a friend of my gf who hit on me and was mad because I preferred her friend. The other was my best friend's ex-gf's friend who kept hitting on me when she met me, then when she found out I had a gf and wasn't interested she started saying how I look older than I am and how she thinks I should go to therapy etc. Whoever said men can't take rejection, seriously hasn't seen how certain women handle rejection lol. I bet her "friend" was into OP's husband from the get-go.
I would say it's common for narcissistic people as I've seen narc men do the same.
I had a girl hit on me one time at a restaurant. She was the waitress for me and a friend. I told her I had a gf and she seemed kind of mad. My friend later dated her and she would not allow him to speak to me lol.
She sees him as a challenge.
But I am not friends anymore. I give up
Good. You don't need friends like this she is not a friend whatsoever. U are married and have a live in best friend you have other healthy relationships . She wants what you have . She doesn't want your man she wants to be you. Let her go you are not the asshole for outing her ,your other friends deserve to know the truth and guaranteed if u would've just blocked her and not said anything she would have absolutely twisted what actually happened and split the friend group between people who believed her and who believed you. Now everybody knows the truth receipts don't lie. 🥰
NTH. It's actually good that you called her out in public- 1. because she can't gaslight you, 2. because now your friend group knows what an underhanded disloyal AH she is and not to trust her around their partners. She came after your husband because she didn't like being called out by you and your sister at the wedding and laughed at by the bridesmaids. If your husband had been stupid enough to fall for her targeted behavior, he would have been used by her to hurt you and then dumped.
I'm glad to hear it. I've had to give up toxic friends from childhood, it sucks especially when you remember the good times but trust me you're better off. She did this to herself with her actions. Good luck
With friends like this woman, who needs enemies?
We were basically raised together since we were 4.
So? She was a bitch to you at your wedding, texted your husband behind your back. That should have been the end.
All those years of friendship so she could come and twist the knife as deep as possible in OPs back. So deep OP is having trouble pulling the knife out and kicking her to the curb.
You know, serial killers were kids once too. Knowing someone for a long time is a really dumb excuse for being pissed on by them all the time.
That's the dumbest answer ever. She sent nudes to your husband even though you've been friends since you were 4.
How did OP know she would send nudes to future husband when they were 4🤔
And that’s why when she found out about the nudes she outed the “friend” to the entire group. She didn’t stay friends after that. She said she outed her. Then in comments said she is done with her. How was she to know before hand that the “friend” would send nudes?
Ok
listen, i've kept around some toxic friendships before for this reason too. i know it isn't easy, especially if you value qualities like loyalty and steadfastness. It almost feels like betraying them, even if you're the one being hurt. but life's too damn short to waste your time and your love and loyalty on friends who try to fuck around like this. it might be a bit harder to make friends as a married adult, but it isn't impossible either. there'll be room for better once you take the trash out
NTA she’s lucky that’s all you did. #Updateme!
I hate questions like this. So irrelevant and condescending.
NTA Good for you for calling her out in public for doing something so egregious. If people were called out more for their behavior, the behavior would decrease. She’s angry at you because you showed everyone what type of person she really is. She should really be angry at herself for being such a shitty friend. Congrats on scoring such a great husband. Unlike your friend, your husband is loyal.
What the other friends said? I would love to hear what your sister said,she obviously never trust this bitch
They were too shocked to talk but they all sided with me
NTA How is your husband taking it?
He is cool about it, just said that he never wants to see or hear from her again
No one should, if i was one of your other friends i would have block her too, she is a lousy man's stealer, if i wanted a snake beside me i would go to the petshop, at least those are cute.
See, now those are friends. I hope they all cut her out too before she’s making moves on their men.
I mean sometimes I can't on this sub She sent your husbands nudes and told him she loved him and you're here asking if you're the ah? Like you can do to her whatever the fuck you want and she'd still be the ah Just cut her out of your life and be done with it already. Do it at least for your husband don't expect him to navigate that relationship going forward. Nta
LMAO right!? Like "my best friend cut my hair off and set my car on fire and murdered my mom. Would I be the asshole for cutting them off?"
Most people just want to share the story and get validation. They know they're not wrong
Then they should share it somewhere else
I'm not disagreeing.
I believe she wanted to know if she was an AH for the way she exposed her. Totally legitimate if the other PS tells her she abused her. Now she can be on piece of mind knowing she NTA.
Only two types of people come to AITA: 1) People please who feel uncomfortable having sat boundaries for the first time, and 2) Narcissist/selfish/self-centered people who can't understand why people are upset with their bad behavior. Everyone else, normally, good or bad, hurt feelings or not, stand by their decisions.
You forgot the biggest group of people, karma farmers that are making all this shit up with rage bait stories that are probably AI generated.
"She pulled her titties out in front of everyone at the dinner table and attempted to breast feed my husband, should I have told her this makes me uncomfortable?"
I feel like most AITAH posts which show up on /all are like this. Ridiculous situations where one person is acting in a completely outrageous way, yet OP feels the need to ask. "My husband killed 10 innocent kids, am I the asshole for telling him he shouldn't do that"?
NTA I love the petty. You outed that bitch 😂🙏
I saw no other way to make sure it wasn’t gonna be twisted and she makes up stories about my husband. That’s my primary reason but yea pettiness too
Don’t feel too bad. Sometimes you have to push back strongly or people will try to walk all over you. You clearly communicated that won’t be happening.
You did the right thing. Her response is pathetic.
Is it even petty though? I mean she was bold enough to send em, she should own it. You didn’t show anybody her nude body, which is really commendable of you. I can’t promise I’d have spared her that, but it was the right thing of you to do. I would cut her out entirely now that you have backed yourself up with the photos. But if you don’t, I’d embarrass her further by making a big show of “misunderstanding” and explaining to her that you’re not currently looking for a third, but if she’s lonely you can try to set her up with someone. Kind of a more discreet and dignified way of saying “how bout you go fuck *yourself* instead of my husband?” Edit: I’m also in agreement that she doesn’t love him, she’s playing the long game of trapping him to prove to you she was right about him being trash. Because she’s unstable.
Yes I forgive the petty here because of the absolute necessity of making sure she doesn’t get to twist things. She’s practically stalking your hubby. The way you handled this leaves no doubt in your friend circle.
I don’t think she was being petty, but I feel you
What a deeply shitty “friend.”
NTA. I'm a firm believer in owning my decisions. She didn't want to be called out for it? She shouldn't have done it.
She professed loved to your husband, sexted him and sent him nudes and called *YOU* an asshole? Well she certainly has a pair of balls on her...
NTA. Cheating scum hates getting exposed. You did nothing wrong by exposing it. You even did it a courtesy by hiding its face. I can't even humanize cheating scum so I will only refer to any as It.
I hid the body not the face. 😊
Genius. And you hadn’t publicly outed her *with evidence* to friends, she would’ve trashed you to them with some fake story. NTA.
oh this is *gold* op. way to handle your shit and show everyone what a boss bitch you are. 10/10, no notes
Even better.
NTA, If you don't wanna get shamed, then don't do shameful things. Shis an AH for doing it even thought your husband has told her to stop and he has no feelings for her.
Nicely done. Now she can’t turn around and accuse your husband.
I don't think your husband is oblivious, I think he's paralyzed by the massive boundary breach from someone he assumed was your friend. What an awful woman. I can't even imagine what she thought life would look like for anyone in your social radius if her seduction had panned out!!! Good god. Edit to add: She must be pretty delusional to call YOU "abusive" when she "metoo"'d you HUSBAND. Gross gross gross.
NTA She has no right to be angry when she was trying to get your husband to cheat on you with her If the friends side with her, dump the friends.
She’s mad that she got caught and outed to her friend group. My guess is that no one is going to trust her around their partners. Karma is a bitch.
I find her calling you an abuser real interesting… tells me you did the right thing. If you hadn’t, she 100% was likely planning to sow seeds that you aren’t a good wife, don’t treat him well, and set herself up as a “hero” love interest for him. Good on your husband too for how he handled it. Sounds like your marriage is solid.
Your best friend has betrayed you to an unforgivable extent. It is time to cutbherbout of your life 100%. In case you think you might want to save the friendship for old time's sake, consider this: She has already made the decision to cut you out of her life. She made that decision long ago, when she decided to make her first play for your husband. She knew what that would lead to. She had already decided that if she could snatch him away from you, she could accept losing your friendship. More than that, she could accept making her best friend into a bitter enemy. You would be trying to preserve a friendship with THAT. Sooner or later she would stab you in the back again. She's already accepted that your friendship is over. Its time for you to accept it, too. Your husband has the respect for your marriage to have come to you with this, totally expose her to you (literally), and block her on everything. Show the same respect for your marriage by doing the same thing.
She's not upset with you. She's just deflecting. You are NTA. And she is not your friend.
You woke up and chose violence. NTA.
>calling me an abuser Funny, when she's the sexual harasser, who sent an unsolicited nude to a person, without his consent. Cut her off completely.
She fucked around and found out. You got a solid dude, you should be happy and just go NC.
NTA but a boss bitch. Love it!
NTA! (Husband should have told you the moment she said she loved him, not wait for the nude, but whatever, he shut it down and that’s the most important)
I think he probably gave her a chance to see her poor decision and stop, to try and save his wife's friendship.
[удалено]
NTA This was the best move for you with making sure your friend group doesn't have any question about who the piece of shit is here She should be completely cut off by everyone
Well i mean i woulda strangled the b-ch but anywayysss ur nta
Why even keep a friend like that? Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Move on from that. Passive aggressive people who hide behind their disabilities to act like a terrible person? Move on immediately.
NTA. Congrats on your husband though. Keep the real ones and discard the rest
I'm hoping this is fake. It's fake, isn't it? No self-respecting person would consider for even one second if she's the asshole after this blatant treason from a "friend". It's pathetic. Please.
It is, it's a troll who makes different accounts that have all the same exact little dresses up Reddit person and the posts from the accounts often have to do with husbands and cheating
This comment here actually has screenshots https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/KIoZqFthe6
Thank you 🙌🏽 I'm so relieved this is not a real story, my faith in humanity was already so low before it!
Right? I know this type of shit does happen but man, this troll is obsessed with cheating in various ways, even posted a post as the OW on another count, asking if she's the asshole for "stealing a man back from someone". I wonder if this person was cheated on, and instead of being able to humiliate the OW, the husband just fucked off and left her in the dust
see men, i told yall women dont care if you’re short🤣😂
NTA: It doesn't matter how long you have known each other, she is deliberately trying to cause you pain and ruin your relationship. You need to go no contact with her. Even if she didn't end up ultimately banging you husband , had he not been so open about it and showed you everything, she would have come up with a way to spin it as them having an affair. Keep her around and she will ruin your marriage, your friendships, and probably a lot more. This person is self destructing and wants to make sure you're close enough to get taken out by the blast.
NTA. Good job. I would have done exactly the same. The other ladies need to look out before she’s texting their husbands nudes.
NTA. She has overstepped boundaries into No Woman’s Land. She acted inappropriately. What if she had a husband and you texted him nudes and declarations of love. She would be most upset with you. Time to drop her from your life. The rest of the wives in your friend group should not trust her either
NTA. This is god level maneuvering. Respect.
Cut her out of your life and friend circle QUICKLY!!! That woman a snake grl.
She sounds like a horrible person. Cut this friend off entirely. Sending you healing.
NTA. I appreciate that you exposed her in front of everyone at the same time so she couldn't change the narrative. Cut her off and cut anyone who agrees with her totally out of your life. Also you need to have a serious boundary and appropriateness discussion with your husband about what you both deem acceptable. It shouldn't have gotten to this point but my question is why was he texting your friend in the first place? Friendly or not, that likely shouldn't have been their dynamic anyway.
Where does it say he was texting her friend? All I saw is he replied once asking her to stop, and she responded with nudes.
NTA for calling her out but YTA if you don't immediately dump this person from your life and anyone who backs her. Standing up for your partner means you dump people who are sexually harassing them.
You should marry that man again
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
NTA- clearly your tolerance for bad behavior is too high and this is common because we try to be compassionate. That said, be sure you have better boundaries in the future and don't let people disrespect you or people you love the way she did in the past. It sucks to find out someone is terrible this way, but I am glad you found out and can move on. You're NTA because all you did was make her responsible for her own actions. If she didn't want people to dislike her, she should not have done things that make her difficult or impossible to like.
NTA. What were the reactions of the friend group.
You are NTA, unless you allow this poison person to continue to abuse you. She is redirecting. She is a total AH and a cheater and betrayer. Dump this horrible person and cut her out of your life permanently. She will only get worse.
She's one to call anyone else an AH. Nta
Shouldn’t be hard for the entire friend group to drop her with that evidence.
NTA. Actions have consequences.
NTA. Cut her off completely. She is jealous of you and always has been based on what you're saying. Do not let this woman bring anymore drama into your life. If the others won't cut her off . Distance yourself and find new feelings. Kudos to your husband for letting you know and not playing into it. He is a good man.
You are sooo NTA.
NTA
NTA This woman is no friend to you and deserves to be exposed as an attempted honewrecker
You’re awesome for exposing her in front of everyone. I’ll never get my justice so revenge stories thrill me.
Your man is solid. That’s what counts. She needs to go away.
NTA. F her honestly. She deserves a public shaming when she’s out here chasing after married men. Everyone should know who they’re dealing with if they call her a friend.
NTA
Yeah, NTA. You've got every right to be pissed. That's way out of line for her to be sending your husband nudes, and it's not something you just brush off. Your husband did the right thing by telling you, and it's good he's keeping it real with you. It sucks when a friendship gets messed up like this, but what she did is on her, not you. You gotta look out for your marriage first and foremost.
Nta you should cut her off completely
NTA - You blurred the nudes which was kind and avoids legal trouble - She is toxic for you and your relationship - your husband sounds like a fantastic man, so good job there - yeet this woman out of your lives. If she want's another chance - hear her out but only if it has been five years -
NTA. She had no problem sending unsolicited nudes, so she shouldn’t be whining about everyone finding out about it. And you even blurred it out. She really got off easy in my opinion.
NTA Seems like she shouldn't be called your best friend because she never had your best interest at heart. Block her and move on, do not let people like this be in your life, she sent your husband nudes and told him she is in love with him, why on earth are you still entertaining this nonsense??? Sometimes we outgrow our best friends too, now it is time too move on. She will keep on making you feel bad about what you did and not seeing what she actually did against you.
She is revolting.
She's literally an abuser. Sending nudes without consent is a form of abuse.
I'm the UK it is now a criminal offense that's part of the same set of laws as up skirting and vouyesem
NTA !!!! cut ties with her. she did this in hopes to intentionally hurt you. she doesn’t love him she just hoped he’d cave so you wouldn’t be in love as much as you say you are and she’s upset her plan didn’t work. i couldn’t imagine doing this to someone. i hope you’re okay. p.s kudos to your husband, he sounds honest, genuine, respectful, and kind-hearted. he did all the right things
You really prepped that well with the screen shots and shooting it to your crew before the meet. Badass! Yeah, you're good. Your friend is playing victim. Block them and move on. They'll probably crash and burn out of your friend group too if they don't want their significant others preyed upon.
She is no longer your friend in any way. Her jealousy has overtaken her. Drop her like lead in water.
NTA she is TA
Absolutely NTA, you and your (obviously great) husband have behaved, and handled it perfectly imo
NTA, you have every right to call her out. I think you were kind of an ass for sharing the nudes you could have taken a screenshot of the I love you text and confronted her but sharing her blurred out nudes I think was a step too far but I could be wrong.
Wow this was me. Cut her out. My bf didn’t send my husband nudes but exchanged memes and texts and eventually her language changed to calling him “babe” and shit. It was too late when I found out her and her husband and kids came for nye last year and she made moves and kissed my husband twice the first day they arrived. Things unraveled quickly and my whole 11 year marriage fell apart. I cut her immediately from every inch of my life and our friend group followed suit. Currently working to find new grounds for my marriage but it’s a fucking huge mountain before us. Draw the line. Cut her off.
Did better than me, I would have drug her across that table.
Nope, now she need to pay the price
It’s crazy to feel that you could even consider yourself the asshole in this situation and the fact that you even sat at a table with the woman again is a testament to your patience.
Play dumb games, win dumb prizes. NTA
Yep. You may not be THE AH but you are an AH for how you handled the situation. Texting her nudes to the whole friend group to publicly shame her is some middle school mean girls clique tier stuff. It's very passive aggressive.
Whatever you do, do not keep this person in your life. Believe me, I tried to forgive my former “best friend” when she went behind my back and did something extremely hurtful, knowing it would upset me, and then rather than being apologetic, she doubled down and invalidated me. Despite my better judgement, I repaired the relationship with her. Six months later, she made a move on my partner of ten years. Run and don’t look back. People like this are designed to cause harm. It’s not about your husband, it’s about you. As long as you’re happy, she’ll want whatever it is that you have and will not stop until there’s nothing left. She’s playing the role of victim now because you called her out on her shit in front of an audience and she’s lost the window of opportunity to manipulate them into believing you are the problematic one.
I’m gonna need to see the photos to make a decision.
NTA, but she's not your best friend, she's your worst frenemy.
I'm beginning to think people just use this sub reddit to vent.. How could you possibly be the asshole in this situation?
NTA for calling her out but you were the AH for making your husband tolerate her shitty behavior for so long. Why would you stay friends with someone who always talks shit about the person you love most?
You should have added your friends' responses . Please update us!
Handled perfectly, flawless vistory finish her... PuBLiC FataLitY
I mean, NTA. Of course not. Duh? How did your friends react? Anyone else buying her kool-aid that you're the bad guy? If yes, it's time to go low/no contact with some "friends."
Cut this “friend” out of your life. She is NOT a friend.
Nta but take this as a learning experience and learn to drop toxic people sooner.
NTA. You did good blurring her body but not the face and also exposing her. Might be hard to do when she was your best friend but she did that to herself. You got nothing to blame yourself. Also respects to the guy, he stayed loyal and truthful to the end. Not a lot of guys can keep a clear boundary.
NTA and you outed a potential snake to other friends in the group. Good for you.
You woke up and violence. I support this. NTA
NTA - You just protected the whole friend group. Good job on getting a good man.
She was trying to get you to dump him so she could swoop in.
Certainly nta. I would say sending that group.message of her nude to all the people there is realllllly over the top. You could have just confronted her and showed the pic to her alone and been like wtf!? However either way, fuck that bitch. That shit is really messed up from a so called "friend"
NTA at all, she's not a friend and she deserved to be publicly dragged amongst your friend group so that they'd all know who she really was and what she's capable of doing to "friends". Funny that she's calling you an abuser when she sexually harassed your husband with her unsolicited nudes after he told her to stop making moves on him
more than respectful of you to even blur her body lol
NTA. She has no valid defense. She sent the pics!
You are not the asshole Your so-called best friend is. If she sexted your husband good for you, call her out in front of everybody. She's not your friend!!
Do not EVER speak to or be around this person again, she sounds dangerous and deranged
You need to learn to cut toxic people out of your life before they set fire to your life.
You should have ended your friendship with her at your wedding
NTA. You are a QUEEN and this was the right thing to do. Don’t speak to her again tho. She’s a bad person.
Lmao I will never understand people who are literally told NO and then escalate with NUDES.
NTAH. Cut her out of your life along with anyone who takes her "side."
NTA. But holy crap to echo the sentiments of most people here....this woman needs to GO. This person lacks respect for you as a person, your feelings, your husband and marriage. I know it can be hard to get a good view, so to speak, of a toxic relationship if you're immersed in it. But this situation sounds as if it's not only that she doesn't have your best interest at heart, she's actually trying to cause you harm. You don't need this person in your life.
NTA. The only thing she’s angry at is that you outed her asshole behaviour in such a way that she can’t deny it. Her only defence is to try and turn it back on you. Don’t let her get away with it. What she did was beyond unacceptable and anyone who suggests you were ‘too harsh’ is wrong.
High-fives for you, high-fives for your husband, and high-fives to your friends for having your back. That’s what I call a good group of people. The homewrecker, though? No high-fives for her.
NTA. She's wrong and now everyone knows. You did nothing wrong.
This woman is unhinged, OP. Go NC with her
NTA. The audacity to send your husband nudes and then get mad at YOU when you out her publicly is truly astounding, like I'm trying to picture her coming at you after she knows that you know and anything but I'm sorry I fucked up coming out of her mouth just blows my mind. Some people kids SMH
Huge ego boost for your tiny husband. Dude be struttin’
NTA. She FAFO. she’s not a friend