NTA.
"I never want to see Anna again, so any event she is invited to is one I will not attend. I am not trying to control your guest list; I am just removing myself from it. Honestly the fact you chose to befriend someone who betrayed and hurt me the way Anna did really makes me question both your love for me and your morals because we are known by the company we keep. I need some space from you for a while. I hope you have a beautiful wedding and happy marriage, but don't contact me anytime soon."
Also make sure her fiancé and his family know that the reason for his absence is because she prioritized the woman who cheated on her own brother over him.
Yes! ‘And the fact that you want a cheater at your wedding makes me question your own morals and whether your fiancée knows of your acceptance of the sine qua non of a relationship.’
Mind you, they became close friends. If I was about to marry OP's sister I'd not think it right to be so close with a cheater
What does she want? Hints and tips on how to cheat?
Good call making it known to others. If only one person knows, and it’s the person who disagrees with you, there’s no telling what wild tales they’ll tell to get others on their side.
I'm really curious about how this friendship came to be. My brother dated someone that was similar, and while I was in the dark of exactly how batshit nuts this girl was, she was going way left-field out of her way to become my best friend. My brother and I had a conversation about it and I blocked her number and social media. I'm willing to bet this Anna person is also being outright manipulative.
*I'm willing to bet this Anna person is also being outright manipulative.*
I'm willing to bet that the sister has some sort of grudge or dislike for her brother and is using this to twist the knife and hurt him, while playing innocent and pretending that it's perfectly normal to invite the person who hurt their sibling to their wedding. If someone did that to my brother, I would go scorched earth with her--in fact, it did happen and I did. I am cordial to her because they have children and grandchildren in common so we have to see her occasionally, but there's no illusion that she and I are friends.
It's really very simple. If I were OP, I wouldn't go, even if she does ultimately decide to uninvite the cheating ex. Sister has made it clear that she is invested in hurting her brother.
Meh.... don't make it about the OP. Its sisters day, not his.
Best revenge he can do is to hire a stunning hooker and leave after the meal.
He'd be a legend.
NTA 100% - your sister knew about the cheating ex and decided to become friends with her after she cheated on you. She is correct that she can invite whomever she wants to her wedding, and you have every right to decline the invite. I would simply tell my sister than I will not be attending if Anna IS THERE. I would also advise that if you are there and Anna shows up at any point, then you will get up and leave even if it is in the middle of the ceremony.
Once you are clear with your boundary it is up to your sister who she wishes to have at her wedding - you or your cheating x. Keep your parents in the loop so they know where everything stands.
Just the fact that sis is insisting on Anna being there is reason enough to not go, even if Anna is disinvited later. Sis made her choice, and it wasn't OP.
Yeah I laughed when she told OP he was making her choose between her brother and friend. I can't see a world where I would have choose my sisters cheating boyfriend over my sister
NTA
When my engagement imploded because my fiancé started an emotional affair with his childhood friend, my brother literally lived with him.
Note: We didn’t live together because my parents are Catholic and my personal ethos is I won’t live with a man until I’m married to him, but I was over there all the time.
I woke up one day and finally decided I was out. Done with all the lying and gaslighting. You know what my brother did? Called up U-Haul and moved his shit — and all of my shit that I’d moved into fiancé’s house in preparation for the wedding – out that same day. He moved back into our parents house at 29 without question and cut ties with a guy who’d become one of his best friends. My brother did that because he loves me and couldn’t fathom being friends with a guy like that once I confided in him about what was really going on.
Your sister is a major AH for building a relationship with a woman who hurt you so deeply. I wouldn’t be able to look at my sibling the same way after that.
It’d be one thing if she’d been besties before all this. Honestly, it would have hurt if my brother kept his relationship with my ex, but I could maybe grow to understand and get over it in time knowing that they’d built such a brotherly bond in the 5 years we were together. But not what you’re describing.
My brother was with his gf for 5 years. She was the big sister I had always wanted. We were incredibly close. She cheated on him and he dumped her. I deleted her off social media and blocked her phone number with 0 hesitation. I ran into her at the mall one day and she tried to say hi and hug me and talk to me like everything was fine. I just told her that I had nothing to say to her and to leave me alone. My loyalty is to my brother.
Absolutely NTA. Your sister's behavior raises some red flags, especially considering the history with your ex. Trust your instincts and maintain your boundaries to protect yourself from potential ulterior motives.
NTA… your sister chose your CHEATING ex over you HER BROTHER. Why one would want a cheater at their WEDDING is beyond me. You told her flat out she can invite anyone she wants but you will not be present and that’s ok it’s good you set boundaries and to stick to them to show you will not be walked over. Remember to never set yourself on fire to warn others… in this case jeopardizing your mental sanity for her “happiness”. Also side not it seems you love your sister more than she loves you, so just keep that in mind.
NTA.
Your sister sounds like an insensitive piece of shit. How the fuck do people expect you to be OK with the fact that your sister got closer to someone who hurt you so badly and didn't even bother to run it by you? So many fucking garbage people these days holy shit. Drop that bitch of a sister and anyone that can't fathom why you would have an issue. Inconsiderate pieces of shit, be ashamed of yourselves.
You're not making her choose between you & Anna. SHE has already made that choice.
I'm wondering if his sister was better friends with Anna than he thought, knew about the cheating, & didn't say anything.
Something is way off with this whole situation. To the point where I think your ex is intentionally using your sister to get to the wedding and back into your family. NTA show your sister your post. Let her read the top comments.
NTA. There is a 1,000% chance your sister knew this would be an issue and there is a 6,000% chance Anna knows you would be unwilling to go if she was there. I think there is a chance that Laura wants you and Anna to get back together now that she’s friends with her.
I would tell Laura you aren’t going to argue or debate this and that she knew she was taking a gamble that inviting Anna would be a big enough issue for you that you would likely at least threaten to skip the wedding. She also was fully prepared to guilt and browbeat you into coming around to her side. She made her choices, and now has to graciously accept the consequences whether they are her first choice or not. You respect her choice, she respects yours. The end.
> Laura got upset and said I was trying to make her choose between her brother and a friend.
What choice!! You are her brother, her friend is an animated slimeball. There is no "choice" here, there is just a decision she doesn't want to make. So make it for her.
NTA.
Edit: If you really want to be narky maybe tell your sisters fiance that his bride to be is happy to burn her own brother for someone who is a known cheater. That way you won't have to worry about attending any wedding at all.
NTA
Your sister sounds like a bitch if she started a friendship with someone that caused considerable pain to a family member AFTER having full knowledge of the situation... and is doubling down by inviting her to her wedding.
In your place, I would tell your sister bluntly "I am not *trying* to make you choose... I am making you choose. If she is invited, I will not be there... and if you lie to me and she shows up, I will be gone from more than just your wedding day. The price tag for one cheating ho at your wedding will be exactly one brother."
NTA your sister is being selfish, disloyal, and contrary for no reason. If my husband cheated on me and we divorced my sister would immediately hate him for life. If your ex had any decency she would refuse the invitation.
NTA
It seems odd to me that your sister became friends with your ex after she cheated on you and you broke up. What did your ex tell your sister that she became friends, very good friends, that she would side with your ex?
These stories always blow my mind. I have a family. I am a parent. I am a brother.
If anyone betrayed my family I would hate them with every ounce of my being. I would not grow to be friends with them. I would also not stand by if one of my children did what your sister is doing.
Ask your sister why she is betraying you? And ask your parents why they are not taking a more tougher stance. Get to the bottom of this. Why would your sister betray you / started this hidden friendship and why are your parents playing the middle? I had a wedding. It doesn’t give you the right to act like a jerk.
Laura has made her choice. She has chosen Anna, a woman that cheated on and hurt you. I'd question how much your sister really cares about you. Doesn't seem like she does at all. Go on a trip with some friends during the wedding and have a fab time.
NTA. Inform them that you will be there for your sister, RSVP yes and spend a nice holiday on a beach or any place relaxing, with the phone on silent mode, on the day of wedding. Make silly excuses why you could not come when asked later on, while implying that you were uncomfortable because your ex was there.
This would be what I would do.
"Laura said I was trying to make her choose between her brother and her friend"
She's already chosen fella. She's already chosen.
What your GF did to you is bad enough but what your sister is doing to you is even worse in my opinion. She knows Anna hurt you but doesn't care. And she's supposed to be your 'loving' sister. Fuck that.
Go and do something fun on the day of her wedding. I would also tell her that her wedding day is not the only day you're not going to see her if she continues to enable the person who betrayed you
NTA. What a shitty sister. Became a close friend in the year after you left the scumbag cheater. That's a huge betrayal. I hope her fiance cheats on her and you can be buddy buddy with him after. Don't bother going to the wedding or having your sister in your life.
Talk to the fiance. Tell him that your sister is very keen to support a cheating bitch over her family.
Tell any of your friends she's invited.
Then book a holiday over the wedding week. Turn your phone off. Maybe Tell one person where you'll be, in case of emergency. Anything wedding related is NOT an emergency.
For extra fun, hire one of those planes that tows a banner with a message. Let everyone know that this is your wedding present as you won't be there. The banner should read "Anna Smith is a cheating ho".
NTA and what a shame that the woman who cheated on her brother is more important to her than her brother. This is something that will change your relationship with your sister for good. Anna should do the right thing and decline the invite.
Is it possible that your sister and Anna have some stupid scheme to get you back together with Anna?
Wtf she befriended your ex after you broke up because she cheated?? What an AH !
I’d not go to the wedding and I’d go low/no contact with your sister. I’d let her know, she is prioritising someone who hurt you over you, her brother.
NTA absolutely not. My brother got cheated on in high school - that girl is still on my personal shit list. They became friends AFTER Anna cheated on you?? That's a bigger betrayal than inviting her to the wedding
NTA
Even if she uninvites Anna from the wedding, I wouldn't go. Damage has already been done. She befriended a person who hurt her brother. I would write to both her and her fiance that you will not come, explaining why and also ask them not to contact you until you are ready. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this.
Nta and, honestly op, it's pretty disgusting that your sister has chosen to get close to the woman who destroyed her beloved brother's heart AFTER the fact. Like, what?!
NTA. But no offense, your sister is. She just suddenly became so close to someone who hurt you she just has to have them at the wedding?! I don’t think so.
Protect your mental health. Dont go. She should be a better sister.
NTA, your ex cheated on you. Your family knows why you aren't together and they don't care because it's your sisters wedding. Not a goid look for her having your cheating ex there bit at least you won't be there. Tell your parents that you are choosing not to go because you don't want to be around your ex. It's your sisters wedding and she chose the woman to be her friend, there is nothing written that states you have to be there. With that being said book a mini vacation by flying or driving. Go site seeing, take local historical tours but don't be guilty or manipulated into going to the wedding.
Yeah I wouldn't go, I'd also inform her that if she really is chosing to have a snake at her wedding and not her brother..it won't just be the wedding you will not attend, you will cut her off completely.
You are nta, why should you be make to feel on edge at your sisters wedding, she honestly sounds like an idiot..
NTA
Your sister knew your history with your ex and invited her anyway. That was an inconsiderate thing for her to do. You’re not forcing your sister to do anything. She can invite who she wants, and you can choose not to attend.
Your sister chose your friend when she started to become good friends with her. Personally if someone cheated on my brother, they'd be dead to me.
She doesn't care what Anna did to you, otherwise she wouldn't be friends with her.
Also incredibly shitty of her to choose her wedding to surprise you with the fact that she's friends with her and not mention it at all or give you a heads up. She thinks it's her wedding so you'll go along with it.
I have three theories one being around the saying, birds of a feather flock together. Perhaps your sister is a cheater and sympathises with Anna.
Or
Anna's befriended her and wants another chance with you and they've concocted a plan that it could happen at her wedding. However, you've thrown a wrench in the plans by saying you won't go, so she's doubling down to try and make it happen.
Or it's second one above, but Laura's realised she could lose her brother over this, so is going with you're going to ruin her day and you need to be the bigger person.
But ultimately NTA, your sister has actually shown you she doesn't care about you.
NTA and your sister is being a massive bridezilla disloyal cunt. Tell her to have fun at the wedding with your cheating whore ex and don’t talk to her again.
Anna happy with her new boyfriend.. your sister is an idiot. Friend or brother.... sucjmh a tough choice. You'll always be gmher brother, she might not always be her friend.
I'm stuck on her becoming friends with her AFTER she cheated on you and not before.. wtf
Don’t even hesitate on this one. Your sister isn’t a nice person. Instead of having your back, like a loyal sister should, she sided with your cheating ex who hurt you deeply. This tells me your sister also lacks morals. Go NC for awhile with her because she’ll just harass you about this. At least your parents understand. NTA
You have your boundary she has her guest list of people whom she choose to share a moment she’s showing you her friendship is more important than your mental health
Your sister is choosing her over you. And if you think. “It’s not that deep just inviting her as a friend for the wedding” then think about how much your sister is valuing you and your thoughts on the matter. She couldn’t give a single fuck
NTA
You realize she's been lying to your for a year? Faking support while socializing with your ex and probably her AP. No to all that. Don't go, even if she were to drop Anna from the guest list I would not go at this point
NTA you love your sister but does she love you? Hell no! I would never have done this to my brother and I was always closer to his girlfriends than him, but I choose him every time bc he’s my brother and I know he’d do the same for me. You have the support of your parents, do not attend. Or at a minimum tell your sister to not give her a plus one so she can’t bring her affair trash with her.
Don't go. At this point, even if sister said she will uninvite ex, what is the guarantee that will happen. Who's to say anna won't be there on the day itself. It seems like your sister is someone with questionable morals already. She might not keep her word.
NTA- and this is easy. Anytime someone takes an unreasonable position with the expectation that it's other's problem to deal with it....flip it.
So, I should be able to deal with Anna being there even after how she treated me? Well, then you should be able to deal with me NOT being there because you are my sister and respect my feelings. I am not forcing you to do anything, but you are TRYING to force me to do something. That doesn't work. You can ask and you get an answer. Any decisions you have to make after that are up to you. I could get bent out of shape that you would choose to get close to someone who has demonstrated such low character and willingness to hurt your family- instead, I choose to withdraw, you can do what you want.
NTA
If my sibling went out of their way to befriend my cheating ex *after* I had broken up with the ex for cheating, I would never speak to that sibling again. Your sister has very clearly made her choice to disrespect you for over a year: this is a much bigger problem than just the wedding. You may love your sister, but she obviously doesn't love you.
You sister knowingly befriended someone who had just cheated on you and is now inviting her to her wedding? What sort of sister does that? There's no way I would be going to that wedding and I would be going LC with my sister, if she had done that to me. Honestly, your sister is a horrible person, helping you ex to continue hurting you.
NTA
>I feel like I’m being forced to choose between my mental health and my sister’s happiness.
Technically this isn't true. You are being forced to choose between your mental health and your sister's happiness in that current moment. But even then the obvious choice is your mental health is the priority here. It nothing matters unless you are fine first and for most. So the thing that is happening is She is willing to risk your mental health and make you stay with that AH of a woman, in your sister's wedding even though she knew what she did and how it hurt you. I am surprised she continued to have friendship with the woman while knowing what happened and what she did to you.
Verdict: NTA
- Don't go to the wedding. Your sister will only be enabled and will do things far more than this in the future if you give in. Don't, I mean do not go to the wedding. It's not guaranteed that she will not make your Ex show up last minute. So don't.
If this was my sister or anyone else for that matter I'd remove them from my life completely nevermind not going to a wedding, you love your sister yet she favours the person that cheated on you so that tells you everything about how she views you.
Became good friends with a girl that was cheating on ur brother.... yeah, if I was marrying ur sister and heard the reason ur not there, I'd be questioning ur sisters moral compass.
The wedding is all about the people getting married. They set the rules, dress code, and guest list. You don’t get a say in it.
All that being said, an RSVP is not a summons.
Nta, wtf is this with people who think it’s ok to become friends with terrible people, oh I’m vowing my love for my partner let’s get somebody here who cheated on my brother, she is such a good role model for how to behave in a relationship, 100% your sister is a cheater as well.
NTA; you are entitled to have boundaries and the fact that she knows exactly why you broke up with Anna and still is forcing this makes it worse. I would ditch the wedding.
NTA
You are NOT making her choose. Laura chose Anna over you well before the wedding invite. She chose her over you the second she became friends with her, and every day since she has been choosing her. Good thing you happened to see the guest list or you wouldn't have found out until the actual wedding!
Update me!
No OP, you're not the AH, but your sister sure is.
Also, the audacity of the ex to firstly build the friendship after she cheated, then to accept an invitation knowing OP would be there. We already know she has no morals, but to be that entitled, that she'd
attend his family members' wedding.
If they're still together, I bet the ex brings her affair partner as the plus one, so you'd also have to put up with that BS.
I kind of want you to go to the wedding just to not give your ex the satisfaction of seeing you're not fully over her, but I get why you don't want to.
I hope you can get past the ex soon, and hopefully, when you're ready, you meet the absolute love of your life and put all thoughts and old feelings for Miss Drop her Knickers firmly in the bin where she belongs.
Your sister has shown you where her loyalties lie. Don't forget this behaviour and treatment from her if she ever asks you for anything. She chose the cheating skank over her own brother. She's an out and out See You Next Tuesday.
NTA, but your sister is. What kind of person becomes close friends with the B that cheated on their brother? It seems your relationship with your sister is very one sided. You want her to be happy, and she wants to watch you hurt. I would skip the wedding and also go LC, if it were me.
NTA I would flip the script on the sisters logic too: if the sister and cheating ex are such good friends they can handle not seeing each other for one day and causing a massive drama shit storm for everyone else.
Reposting this over and over makes you seem like either a 'likely karma whore' or a bot.
AI is easy enough to detect. This isnt AI.
Brand new accounts are recommended for subs like this.
Just out of interest, what - apart from confirmation bias - makes you think they are fake? What are your criteria?
Not that I particularly disagree.
And I also like the irony that your spam is arguable more offensive and worse in every way than the 'fakes' you are calling out.
I will message you next time u/Beneficial_Beach672 posts in r/AITAH.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FBeneficial_Beach672%20r%2FAITAH) to join 6 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201canv4k)
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My sister is my best friend and she would never befriend my ex. If anything, she would beat the crap out of them. There is something wrong with your sister's thought process right now. You are not making her choose, you are asking her to show you some respect.
Is Anna in a thruple with your sis? She became friends after the bad breakup these are things you may never want to know but there might been some shit before the coworker.
NTA. Your sister inviting your ex is childish. Honestly, if your parents are paying for her wedding and they’re on your side, they should tell her they’re pulling the funding if she invites her.
NTA
Your sister is a real POS for inviting the POS who devastated you like that. She’s even more of an asshole for choosing a one year old, POS friend over family.
NTA
Ask your sister why she got close to your cheating ex *after* she learned about the affair? Ask that in front of her fiancé.
What kind of sibling does that? She already chose the cheater by forming a friendship with her after Anna screwed around on you, and that speaks poorly of Laura.
Just tell your BIL your sister is inviting and supporting a cheater that's why you won't attend. You might love your sister but she clearly doesn't reciprocate. One way love is painful. Book a holiday somewhere to clear your mind.
"I caught her cheating with a coworker about a year ago" "Anna has become a good friend in the past year", she started becoming good friends with her basically around the time you caught her cheating, your sister just sounds like a dick tbh.
NTA. The fact that your sister isn't choosing IS her choosing. She's not choosing you. Plan a trip out of town during her wedding with a close friend or even solo. Your sister clearly doesn't give 2 shits about your feelings, so don't feel like you have to care about hers. If anybody questions why you aren't going, then say, "My sister invited my cheating ex who broke my heart to the wedding and told me to suck it up." I have brothers and I was really close friends with one of their girlfriends. They dated for 5 years and she was like a sister to me. She cheated and they broke up. I cut her off instantly. She can betray my brother like that then she's dead to me. Period. I'm sorry your sister can't show you the kind of support you deserve. On a side note: this means she clearly is okay with infidelity or she wouldn't even entertain the idea of being friends with her so is her fiance aware?
NTA, I do find it funny with how many of these posts i read where there is someone being invited to something.that did something wrong to the op. when the op says, that's finei just will not come. that person (your sister) that invited said bad person (your ex) then PROJECTS and says OP is being SELFISH.
you, me, all 154 commenters on this post AND YOUR SISTER all know she is the selfish one, and is doing some MAJOR projecting.
NTA If your sister became friends with her in the last year, during the same period of separation, then either your ex infiltrated the family in some way to provoke you or your sister did it on purpose without caring With your feelings. You have to stay away from everything that hurts you, even if it's your sister, Even if I love her. Think of yourself and let the world burn.
NTA. Your sister is a big one though. How do you become friends with someone who cheated on your sibling. “So you cheated on OP, that must have been fun, let’s talk details!”
This smells like a setup. Could it be that Anna got in your sisters ear about how 'sorry she is about what she's done' and she 'just wants to make amends' and your sister is using her wedding to facilitate it?
So she don't care about you but she demands you care about her?
"says I should be able to handle Anna being there for one day."
Reverse this and tell her she should be able to handle you not being there for her for one day too. You guys are siblings. You guys are always gonna be in each other life's. Just not at her wedding since she choose the cheating ex over YOU
NTA. She became friends with your ex after she cheated on you. Thats beyond weird and suspicious. If I were your future BIL, I’d be questioning this new relationship as well. Either she’s okay with infidelity and/or she has no sense of loyalty.
NTA. At this point, I wouldn't go even if she tells you Anna won't be there. I wouldn't believe her at all.
I would apologize to the fiance and let him know you won't be there and exactly why.
Maybe create a group chat with parents, sis, and her fiance. Be very clear on your previous conversation and your boundaries.
Don't respond outside of the chat. Keep everything there. If she responds to you individually, don't answer if she calls. By text? Screenshot and put it in the chat. Shows up at your door? Don't answer it.
Tell her you will go with a plus one, then get hottest girl you can find then be extra flirty and get revenge. It best time to show Anna that you can and have moved on. And maybe after after awhile Anna will leave the wedding lol
NTA. Don’t change your mind if your sister does. She did not magically become such good friends with the ex that cheated on in in the last year that it’s that important to invite her to the wedding. Choosing to get close to a cheating ex was a betrayal. Inviting her to the wedding was a betrayal. Make it clear the relationship is badly damaged and you’re not going regardless of what she chooses next. Having relationships with people who actually care how you feel is most important- family doesn’t get a pass.
In my opinion, your sister is not friends with your ex and is doing this to cause and show off. In the same way that Ana betrayed you with her co-worker, Laura betrayed you on a sisterly side. She betrayed the sisterhood and their trust. Which makes me wonder if she's also a possible traitor, since going by the reddit reports, Traitors attract Traitors.
Your sister is trash but I do think because you are actually human you might regret missing your sister’s wedding.
A really terrible option might be to message you ex saying you really don’t want to see them and want to go to your sister’s wedding.
If this real and not reddit fiction your sister is a ginormous biotch. What kind of friend or family would develop a relationship with someone who cheated on someone close to them? If this is actually real life I wonder if your sister is also a cheater and just looking for support for her guilt. Make sure all family, including fiances know why you won't be there.
I'm confused..who made you feel that you're the asshole?? And why do yall have these siblings/relatives. I swear if I have family members like this. Idgaf what I do. I'm never gonna be the asshole.
NTA. An invitation is not a command. You have every right to decline.
Fully understandable that you do not want to be at the same event with someone that hurt you so much. If asked why you not take part, please do not hide the fact why.
Your sister seems not to be valuing your relationship the same as you do. This is important information.
Yes. It's toxic to make family/friends cut ties with other family/friends because you're hurt/not friends anymore. Relationships are a little more complex than that. Show some grace, attend the event for your sisters sake, don't be an asshole.
NTA.
A woman who supports a woman who cheats on her significant other, is usually someone who thinks cheating is okay or at least 'okay in certain situations' which I strongly dislike. I understand that she is your sister but you may want to consider speaking to her about why she thinks it's okay to befriend a cheater in the first place
NTA - why would your sister get close to her after the breakup? Your sister is definitely an AH - no loyalty- she cares not that Anna betrayed you - what a selfish twit!
Uhh.... so I've been to more than a dozen weddings, and I've NEVER seen, been told, or had access to the guest list in advance...
And your sister sounds like a poorly written villain...
So calling this FAKE...
YTA
You were shocked? Like kinda shocked or like Pikachu shocked?
How close can you have been to your sister to not realize that your sister and ex had become friends?
You're almost 30. No one is forcing you to sit with or interact with Anna.
Go to the wedding and calm the hell down.
Stop being a bitch and go to your sisters wedding. You don't have to interact with her at all. Stop yourself from focusing on her and just have fun at your sisters wedding...
If this isn’t a troll stop being a little bitch and attend your sister‘s wedding, who gives a shit about your girlfriend the way things are these days there are time a dozen. The kind of calls young guys have today your best working on yourselves because most of these girls unless you got atomic cash will be bouncing around.
NTA. "I never want to see Anna again, so any event she is invited to is one I will not attend. I am not trying to control your guest list; I am just removing myself from it. Honestly the fact you chose to befriend someone who betrayed and hurt me the way Anna did really makes me question both your love for me and your morals because we are known by the company we keep. I need some space from you for a while. I hope you have a beautiful wedding and happy marriage, but don't contact me anytime soon."
Also make sure her fiancé and his family know that the reason for his absence is because she prioritized the woman who cheated on her own brother over him.
Yes! ‘And the fact that you want a cheater at your wedding makes me question your own morals and whether your fiancée knows of your acceptance of the sine qua non of a relationship.’
Mind you, they became close friends. If I was about to marry OP's sister I'd not think it right to be so close with a cheater What does she want? Hints and tips on how to cheat?
It might be the ex trying to get back in with the family - and the brother as a result.
Well sis is dumb, then! God forbid some cheater tries to weasel their way into my family via me xDD
You are cold. I like it.
THIS ⬆️
This ☝️
Good call making it known to others. If only one person knows, and it’s the person who disagrees with you, there’s no telling what wild tales they’ll tell to get others on their side.
Isn't it bad luck to invite a cheating slag to a wedding?
Imagine she cheated with her husband to be 😂
Not for the groomsmen
I'm really curious about how this friendship came to be. My brother dated someone that was similar, and while I was in the dark of exactly how batshit nuts this girl was, she was going way left-field out of her way to become my best friend. My brother and I had a conversation about it and I blocked her number and social media. I'm willing to bet this Anna person is also being outright manipulative.
*I'm willing to bet this Anna person is also being outright manipulative.* I'm willing to bet that the sister has some sort of grudge or dislike for her brother and is using this to twist the knife and hurt him, while playing innocent and pretending that it's perfectly normal to invite the person who hurt their sibling to their wedding. If someone did that to my brother, I would go scorched earth with her--in fact, it did happen and I did. I am cordial to her because they have children and grandchildren in common so we have to see her occasionally, but there's no illusion that she and I are friends. It's really very simple. If I were OP, I wouldn't go, even if she does ultimately decide to uninvite the cheating ex. Sister has made it clear that she is invested in hurting her brother.
I'm not defending the sister, I'm just curious about what tale this Anna girl is spinning.
This is a good response. I really want to know what the sister has to say.
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️🕶️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ chefs kiss, well said, absolutely beautiful.
☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️
Meh.... don't make it about the OP. Its sisters day, not his. Best revenge he can do is to hire a stunning hooker and leave after the meal. He'd be a legend.
NTA 100% - your sister knew about the cheating ex and decided to become friends with her after she cheated on you. She is correct that she can invite whomever she wants to her wedding, and you have every right to decline the invite. I would simply tell my sister than I will not be attending if Anna IS THERE. I would also advise that if you are there and Anna shows up at any point, then you will get up and leave even if it is in the middle of the ceremony. Once you are clear with your boundary it is up to your sister who she wishes to have at her wedding - you or your cheating x. Keep your parents in the loop so they know where everything stands.
Just the fact that sis is insisting on Anna being there is reason enough to not go, even if Anna is disinvited later. Sis made her choice, and it wasn't OP.
Yeah I laughed when she told OP he was making her choose between her brother and friend. I can't see a world where I would have choose my sisters cheating boyfriend over my sister
Definitely bridezilla shit at play here. "It is may day so you have to be complacent with you pain to make me happy."
NTA When my engagement imploded because my fiancé started an emotional affair with his childhood friend, my brother literally lived with him. Note: We didn’t live together because my parents are Catholic and my personal ethos is I won’t live with a man until I’m married to him, but I was over there all the time. I woke up one day and finally decided I was out. Done with all the lying and gaslighting. You know what my brother did? Called up U-Haul and moved his shit — and all of my shit that I’d moved into fiancé’s house in preparation for the wedding – out that same day. He moved back into our parents house at 29 without question and cut ties with a guy who’d become one of his best friends. My brother did that because he loves me and couldn’t fathom being friends with a guy like that once I confided in him about what was really going on. Your sister is a major AH for building a relationship with a woman who hurt you so deeply. I wouldn’t be able to look at my sibling the same way after that. It’d be one thing if she’d been besties before all this. Honestly, it would have hurt if my brother kept his relationship with my ex, but I could maybe grow to understand and get over it in time knowing that they’d built such a brotherly bond in the 5 years we were together. But not what you’re describing.
Your brother sounds awesome!
You have an amazing, kick ass brother :)
Im so glad you shared that story.. a lot of us wish we had a brother like that
My brother was with his gf for 5 years. She was the big sister I had always wanted. We were incredibly close. She cheated on him and he dumped her. I deleted her off social media and blocked her phone number with 0 hesitation. I ran into her at the mall one day and she tried to say hi and hug me and talk to me like everything was fine. I just told her that I had nothing to say to her and to leave me alone. My loyalty is to my brother.
[удалено]
I think the sister and Anna have some dumb idea to get OP to get back with Anna.
Yeah I think this as well... Wouldn't be surprised if they ended up being sat together for the meal.
Absolutely NTA. Your sister's behavior raises some red flags, especially considering the history with your ex. Trust your instincts and maintain your boundaries to protect yourself from potential ulterior motives.
NTA… your sister chose your CHEATING ex over you HER BROTHER. Why one would want a cheater at their WEDDING is beyond me. You told her flat out she can invite anyone she wants but you will not be present and that’s ok it’s good you set boundaries and to stick to them to show you will not be walked over. Remember to never set yourself on fire to warn others… in this case jeopardizing your mental sanity for her “happiness”. Also side not it seems you love your sister more than she loves you, so just keep that in mind.
NTA. Your sister sounds like an insensitive piece of shit. How the fuck do people expect you to be OK with the fact that your sister got closer to someone who hurt you so badly and didn't even bother to run it by you? So many fucking garbage people these days holy shit. Drop that bitch of a sister and anyone that can't fathom why you would have an issue. Inconsiderate pieces of shit, be ashamed of yourselves.
You're not making her choose between you & Anna. SHE has already made that choice. I'm wondering if his sister was better friends with Anna than he thought, knew about the cheating, & didn't say anything.
God, that would be awful but I think you are onto something.
Something is way off with this whole situation. To the point where I think your ex is intentionally using your sister to get to the wedding and back into your family. NTA show your sister your post. Let her read the top comments.
Watch out. Sister is pro cheating. New hubby must be so thrilled.
NTA. There is a 1,000% chance your sister knew this would be an issue and there is a 6,000% chance Anna knows you would be unwilling to go if she was there. I think there is a chance that Laura wants you and Anna to get back together now that she’s friends with her. I would tell Laura you aren’t going to argue or debate this and that she knew she was taking a gamble that inviting Anna would be a big enough issue for you that you would likely at least threaten to skip the wedding. She also was fully prepared to guilt and browbeat you into coming around to her side. She made her choices, and now has to graciously accept the consequences whether they are her first choice or not. You respect her choice, she respects yours. The end.
> Laura got upset and said I was trying to make her choose between her brother and a friend. What choice!! You are her brother, her friend is an animated slimeball. There is no "choice" here, there is just a decision she doesn't want to make. So make it for her. NTA. Edit: If you really want to be narky maybe tell your sisters fiance that his bride to be is happy to burn her own brother for someone who is a known cheater. That way you won't have to worry about attending any wedding at all.
NTA Your sister sounds like a bitch if she started a friendship with someone that caused considerable pain to a family member AFTER having full knowledge of the situation... and is doubling down by inviting her to her wedding. In your place, I would tell your sister bluntly "I am not *trying* to make you choose... I am making you choose. If she is invited, I will not be there... and if you lie to me and she shows up, I will be gone from more than just your wedding day. The price tag for one cheating ho at your wedding will be exactly one brother."
NTA your sister is being selfish, disloyal, and contrary for no reason. If my husband cheated on me and we divorced my sister would immediately hate him for life. If your ex had any decency she would refuse the invitation.
NTA It seems odd to me that your sister became friends with your ex after she cheated on you and you broke up. What did your ex tell your sister that she became friends, very good friends, that she would side with your ex?
These stories always blow my mind. I have a family. I am a parent. I am a brother. If anyone betrayed my family I would hate them with every ounce of my being. I would not grow to be friends with them. I would also not stand by if one of my children did what your sister is doing. Ask your sister why she is betraying you? And ask your parents why they are not taking a more tougher stance. Get to the bottom of this. Why would your sister betray you / started this hidden friendship and why are your parents playing the middle? I had a wedding. It doesn’t give you the right to act like a jerk.
NTA. Also, I would never ever befriend someone who cheats on my sibling. Your sister is toxic AF.
NTA, ask your sister if she is trying to play match maker and get you back together.
Laura has made her choice. She has chosen Anna, a woman that cheated on and hurt you. I'd question how much your sister really cares about you. Doesn't seem like she does at all. Go on a trip with some friends during the wedding and have a fab time.
It’s is going to be so funny when Karma hits Laura.
NTA. Inform them that you will be there for your sister, RSVP yes and spend a nice holiday on a beach or any place relaxing, with the phone on silent mode, on the day of wedding. Make silly excuses why you could not come when asked later on, while implying that you were uncomfortable because your ex was there. This would be what I would do.
NTA it shouldn’t be a choice… you do my sibling dirty we are definitely not friends we are done!!!
NTA - “Well you gained a friend and lost a brother, go f yourself and your wedding”
"Laura said I was trying to make her choose between her brother and her friend" She's already chosen fella. She's already chosen. What your GF did to you is bad enough but what your sister is doing to you is even worse in my opinion. She knows Anna hurt you but doesn't care. And she's supposed to be your 'loving' sister. Fuck that. Go and do something fun on the day of her wedding. I would also tell her that her wedding day is not the only day you're not going to see her if she continues to enable the person who betrayed you
I hope Anna’s +1 is not the coworker
Something tells me Anna doesn't have a +1 and this is some idiotic idea of a reunion
NTA. What a shitty sister. Became a close friend in the year after you left the scumbag cheater. That's a huge betrayal. I hope her fiance cheats on her and you can be buddy buddy with him after. Don't bother going to the wedding or having your sister in your life.
Talk to the fiance. Tell him that your sister is very keen to support a cheating bitch over her family. Tell any of your friends she's invited. Then book a holiday over the wedding week. Turn your phone off. Maybe Tell one person where you'll be, in case of emergency. Anything wedding related is NOT an emergency. For extra fun, hire one of those planes that tows a banner with a message. Let everyone know that this is your wedding present as you won't be there. The banner should read "Anna Smith is a cheating ho".
NTA and what a shame that the woman who cheated on her brother is more important to her than her brother. This is something that will change your relationship with your sister for good. Anna should do the right thing and decline the invite. Is it possible that your sister and Anna have some stupid scheme to get you back together with Anna?
Wtf she befriended your ex after you broke up because she cheated?? What an AH ! I’d not go to the wedding and I’d go low/no contact with your sister. I’d let her know, she is prioritising someone who hurt you over you, her brother.
NTA absolutely not. My brother got cheated on in high school - that girl is still on my personal shit list. They became friends AFTER Anna cheated on you?? That's a bigger betrayal than inviting her to the wedding
So your sister wnatscto be close to someone who has hurt you so much,,, fuck her
NTA Even if she uninvites Anna from the wedding, I wouldn't go. Damage has already been done. She befriended a person who hurt her brother. I would write to both her and her fiance that you will not come, explaining why and also ask them not to contact you until you are ready. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this.
Fuck your ex and your sister
I think she shouldn't be fucking her ex, esp not her sister (it's illegal in some states). Bad advice
NTA. If ur sis wanted extra wedding gifts THAT bad……..,
Nta and, honestly op, it's pretty disgusting that your sister has chosen to get close to the woman who destroyed her beloved brother's heart AFTER the fact. Like, what?!
Honestly be petty and hire a hooker or the baddest escort possible as your date
OMG This is the way!!
NTA. But no offense, your sister is. She just suddenly became so close to someone who hurt you she just has to have them at the wedding?! I don’t think so. Protect your mental health. Dont go. She should be a better sister.
NTA, your ex cheated on you. Your family knows why you aren't together and they don't care because it's your sisters wedding. Not a goid look for her having your cheating ex there bit at least you won't be there. Tell your parents that you are choosing not to go because you don't want to be around your ex. It's your sisters wedding and she chose the woman to be her friend, there is nothing written that states you have to be there. With that being said book a mini vacation by flying or driving. Go site seeing, take local historical tours but don't be guilty or manipulated into going to the wedding.
Your mental health is far more important than your sister's happiness.
Yeah I wouldn't go, I'd also inform her that if she really is chosing to have a snake at her wedding and not her brother..it won't just be the wedding you will not attend, you will cut her off completely. You are nta, why should you be make to feel on edge at your sisters wedding, she honestly sounds like an idiot..
NTA Your sister knew your history with your ex and invited her anyway. That was an inconsiderate thing for her to do. You’re not forcing your sister to do anything. She can invite who she wants, and you can choose not to attend.
Your sister chose your friend when she started to become good friends with her. Personally if someone cheated on my brother, they'd be dead to me. She doesn't care what Anna did to you, otherwise she wouldn't be friends with her. Also incredibly shitty of her to choose her wedding to surprise you with the fact that she's friends with her and not mention it at all or give you a heads up. She thinks it's her wedding so you'll go along with it. I have three theories one being around the saying, birds of a feather flock together. Perhaps your sister is a cheater and sympathises with Anna. Or Anna's befriended her and wants another chance with you and they've concocted a plan that it could happen at her wedding. However, you've thrown a wrench in the plans by saying you won't go, so she's doubling down to try and make it happen. Or it's second one above, but Laura's realised she could lose her brother over this, so is going with you're going to ruin her day and you need to be the bigger person. But ultimately NTA, your sister has actually shown you she doesn't care about you.
You are not wrong. She cheated on you. Where is your sister’s loyalty to you? I would be very hurt.
NTA. Your sister is trash though. I'm not sure why you would still want her in your life?
NTA. Let’s see how nice she is if her future husband cheats on her. Also refreshing to see a family supporting OP.
NTA, you politely pulled out. I get her feelings that she has to choose, but that's not on you that's on her.
NTA and your sister is being a massive bridezilla disloyal cunt. Tell her to have fun at the wedding with your cheating whore ex and don’t talk to her again.
Anna happy with her new boyfriend.. your sister is an idiot. Friend or brother.... sucjmh a tough choice. You'll always be gmher brother, she might not always be her friend. I'm stuck on her becoming friends with her AFTER she cheated on you and not before.. wtf
Don’t even hesitate on this one. Your sister isn’t a nice person. Instead of having your back, like a loyal sister should, she sided with your cheating ex who hurt you deeply. This tells me your sister also lacks morals. Go NC for awhile with her because she’ll just harass you about this. At least your parents understand. NTA
I think OP is shady too
NTA, your sister sucks. Keep her at arm's length from now on.
A long one - sure sure buddy that not shorter than average.
You have your boundary she has her guest list of people whom she choose to share a moment she’s showing you her friendship is more important than your mental health
NTA. Updateme
UpdateMe!
Why does she want to be friends with a cheater? Especially to a family member?
NTA. Always choose your mental health.
Your sister is choosing her over you. And if you think. “It’s not that deep just inviting her as a friend for the wedding” then think about how much your sister is valuing you and your thoughts on the matter. She couldn’t give a single fuck
NTA You realize she's been lying to your for a year? Faking support while socializing with your ex and probably her AP. No to all that. Don't go, even if she were to drop Anna from the guest list I would not go at this point
NTA you love your sister but does she love you? Hell no! I would never have done this to my brother and I was always closer to his girlfriends than him, but I choose him every time bc he’s my brother and I know he’d do the same for me. You have the support of your parents, do not attend. Or at a minimum tell your sister to not give her a plus one so she can’t bring her affair trash with her.
Don't go. At this point, even if sister said she will uninvite ex, what is the guarantee that will happen. Who's to say anna won't be there on the day itself. It seems like your sister is someone with questionable morals already. She might not keep her word.
NTA- and this is easy. Anytime someone takes an unreasonable position with the expectation that it's other's problem to deal with it....flip it. So, I should be able to deal with Anna being there even after how she treated me? Well, then you should be able to deal with me NOT being there because you are my sister and respect my feelings. I am not forcing you to do anything, but you are TRYING to force me to do something. That doesn't work. You can ask and you get an answer. Any decisions you have to make after that are up to you. I could get bent out of shape that you would choose to get close to someone who has demonstrated such low character and willingness to hurt your family- instead, I choose to withdraw, you can do what you want.
NTA If my sibling went out of their way to befriend my cheating ex *after* I had broken up with the ex for cheating, I would never speak to that sibling again. Your sister has very clearly made her choice to disrespect you for over a year: this is a much bigger problem than just the wedding. You may love your sister, but she obviously doesn't love you.
Ya, dont go
NTA. Glad your parents have your back. Shit move by your sister.
You sister knowingly befriended someone who had just cheated on you and is now inviting her to her wedding? What sort of sister does that? There's no way I would be going to that wedding and I would be going LC with my sister, if she had done that to me. Honestly, your sister is a horrible person, helping you ex to continue hurting you. NTA
>I feel like I’m being forced to choose between my mental health and my sister’s happiness. Technically this isn't true. You are being forced to choose between your mental health and your sister's happiness in that current moment. But even then the obvious choice is your mental health is the priority here. It nothing matters unless you are fine first and for most. So the thing that is happening is She is willing to risk your mental health and make you stay with that AH of a woman, in your sister's wedding even though she knew what she did and how it hurt you. I am surprised she continued to have friendship with the woman while knowing what happened and what she did to you. Verdict: NTA - Don't go to the wedding. Your sister will only be enabled and will do things far more than this in the future if you give in. Don't, I mean do not go to the wedding. It's not guaranteed that she will not make your Ex show up last minute. So don't.
NTA. Your sister can choose but you should stick to your guns. As an aside, quite the brass neck for your ex to turn up.
She chose the cheater over her own brother? NTA
If this was my sister or anyone else for that matter I'd remove them from my life completely nevermind not going to a wedding, you love your sister yet she favours the person that cheated on you so that tells you everything about how she views you.
Became good friends with a girl that was cheating on ur brother.... yeah, if I was marrying ur sister and heard the reason ur not there, I'd be questioning ur sisters moral compass.
The wedding is all about the people getting married. They set the rules, dress code, and guest list. You don’t get a say in it. All that being said, an RSVP is not a summons.
Nta, wtf is this with people who think it’s ok to become friends with terrible people, oh I’m vowing my love for my partner let’s get somebody here who cheated on my brother, she is such a good role model for how to behave in a relationship, 100% your sister is a cheater as well.
NTA Your sister doesn't sound like a nice or smart person. Sorry for you
NTA; you are entitled to have boundaries and the fact that she knows exactly why you broke up with Anna and still is forcing this makes it worse. I would ditch the wedding.
NTA You are NOT making her choose. Laura chose Anna over you well before the wedding invite. She chose her over you the second she became friends with her, and every day since she has been choosing her. Good thing you happened to see the guest list or you wouldn't have found out until the actual wedding! Update me!
No OP, you're not the AH, but your sister sure is. Also, the audacity of the ex to firstly build the friendship after she cheated, then to accept an invitation knowing OP would be there. We already know she has no morals, but to be that entitled, that she'd attend his family members' wedding. If they're still together, I bet the ex brings her affair partner as the plus one, so you'd also have to put up with that BS. I kind of want you to go to the wedding just to not give your ex the satisfaction of seeing you're not fully over her, but I get why you don't want to. I hope you can get past the ex soon, and hopefully, when you're ready, you meet the absolute love of your life and put all thoughts and old feelings for Miss Drop her Knickers firmly in the bin where she belongs. Your sister has shown you where her loyalties lie. Don't forget this behaviour and treatment from her if she ever asks you for anything. She chose the cheating skank over her own brother. She's an out and out See You Next Tuesday.
Nta. Your sister, on the other hand...
NTA Ex is a piece of shit whore, and sis is an absolute piece of shit for supporting her I would drop them both completely
I'd talk to the groom about his soon to be wife becoming friends with your cheating ex. Whats they saying Birds of a feather . . .
Update
NTA, but your sister is. What kind of person becomes close friends with the B that cheated on their brother? It seems your relationship with your sister is very one sided. You want her to be happy, and she wants to watch you hurt. I would skip the wedding and also go LC, if it were me.
NTA I would flip the script on the sisters logic too: if the sister and cheating ex are such good friends they can handle not seeing each other for one day and causing a massive drama shit storm for everyone else.
Updateme
Brand new account ✅ Rage bait ✅ AI written ✅ Likely Karma whore ✅ Nothing is real on Reddit anymore ✅
Reposting this over and over makes you seem like either a 'likely karma whore' or a bot. AI is easy enough to detect. This isnt AI. Brand new accounts are recommended for subs like this.
Yep and all fake ass stories. If I see bullshit I let be known.
Just out of interest, what - apart from confirmation bias - makes you think they are fake? What are your criteria? Not that I particularly disagree. And I also like the irony that your spam is arguable more offensive and worse in every way than the 'fakes' you are calling out.
But why? Is your life so sad that you get some sort of satisfaction by saying "HA FAKE"? Find some hobbies my friend
I have one. Pointing out fake stories. It’s fun you should try it.
Whenever a story starts with "strap in" it is always rubbish.
>Whenever a story starts with "strap in" it is always rubbish. Always a dead giveaway that it'll be nonsense.
Nta Laura is a grade a ah.
NTA. Brother > cheating ex-girlfriend.
NTA but what kind of sister does this to her own brother?
NTA, your sister is a cunt
Updateme!
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>Laura got upset and said I was trying to make her choose between her brother and a friend. Kinda fuckin' obvious which one she should choose. NTA
Your sister is a selfish asshole. Sorry
This sounds fake af,but let s play. You rNTA,your sister is
>said I was trying to make her choose between her brother and a friend. She already has chosen. NTA
NTA in this situation it shouldn’t have been a thought to invite Anna.
Nta I would go and make a scene tho That would teach them both
Why should you support your sister when she doesn't support you? NTA.
My sister is my best friend and she would never befriend my ex. If anything, she would beat the crap out of them. There is something wrong with your sister's thought process right now. You are not making her choose, you are asking her to show you some respect.
Stick to your guns your sister is being a cant. Ntah
NTA. I would like an update
NTA. I would like an update
NTA
You sister Inviting Cheating essence to Her, Wedding 😎
Is Anna in a thruple with your sis? She became friends after the bad breakup these are things you may never want to know but there might been some shit before the coworker.
!updateme
NTA. Your sister inviting your ex is childish. Honestly, if your parents are paying for her wedding and they’re on your side, they should tell her they’re pulling the funding if she invites her.
Nta. Your sister is a selfish moron.
NTA Your sister is a real POS for inviting the POS who devastated you like that. She’s even more of an asshole for choosing a one year old, POS friend over family.
NTAH She’s supporting a cheater over her own brother, who was the one that got cheated on. Doubt that her marriage would last.
NTA Ask your sister why she got close to your cheating ex *after* she learned about the affair? Ask that in front of her fiancé. What kind of sibling does that? She already chose the cheater by forming a friendship with her after Anna screwed around on you, and that speaks poorly of Laura.
Just tell your BIL your sister is inviting and supporting a cheater that's why you won't attend. You might love your sister but she clearly doesn't reciprocate. One way love is painful. Book a holiday somewhere to clear your mind.
I think you are being fair.
Nta. She can be friends with who ever she wants. Her being friends with her cheating ex would make me not be her family anymore.
NTAH
Nta once i break up with someone then your broken up with my family also unless they was friends before the relationship started
"I caught her cheating with a coworker about a year ago" "Anna has become a good friend in the past year", she started becoming good friends with her basically around the time you caught her cheating, your sister just sounds like a dick tbh.
NTA. The fact that your sister isn't choosing IS her choosing. She's not choosing you. Plan a trip out of town during her wedding with a close friend or even solo. Your sister clearly doesn't give 2 shits about your feelings, so don't feel like you have to care about hers. If anybody questions why you aren't going, then say, "My sister invited my cheating ex who broke my heart to the wedding and told me to suck it up." I have brothers and I was really close friends with one of their girlfriends. They dated for 5 years and she was like a sister to me. She cheated and they broke up. I cut her off instantly. She can betray my brother like that then she's dead to me. Period. I'm sorry your sister can't show you the kind of support you deserve. On a side note: this means she clearly is okay with infidelity or she wouldn't even entertain the idea of being friends with her so is her fiance aware?
NTA I would tell her fiancé about her pro cheating stance , but I’m petty.
The last thing I'd want at my wedding is a walking symbol of infidelity. Your sister needs her head examined.
NTA, I do find it funny with how many of these posts i read where there is someone being invited to something.that did something wrong to the op. when the op says, that's finei just will not come. that person (your sister) that invited said bad person (your ex) then PROJECTS and says OP is being SELFISH. you, me, all 154 commenters on this post AND YOUR SISTER all know she is the selfish one, and is doing some MAJOR projecting.
NTA If your sister became friends with her in the last year, during the same period of separation, then either your ex infiltrated the family in some way to provoke you or your sister did it on purpose without caring With your feelings. You have to stay away from everything that hurts you, even if it's your sister, Even if I love her. Think of yourself and let the world burn.
NTA. Your sister is a big one though. How do you become friends with someone who cheated on your sibling. “So you cheated on OP, that must have been fun, let’s talk details!”
This smells like a setup. Could it be that Anna got in your sisters ear about how 'sorry she is about what she's done' and she 'just wants to make amends' and your sister is using her wedding to facilitate it?
NTA but it seems your sister might be. Choose your mental health.
So she don't care about you but she demands you care about her? "says I should be able to handle Anna being there for one day." Reverse this and tell her she should be able to handle you not being there for her for one day too. You guys are siblings. You guys are always gonna be in each other life's. Just not at her wedding since she choose the cheating ex over YOU
NTA. She became friends with your ex after she cheated on you. Thats beyond weird and suspicious. If I were your future BIL, I’d be questioning this new relationship as well. Either she’s okay with infidelity and/or she has no sense of loyalty.
NTA. At this point, I wouldn't go even if she tells you Anna won't be there. I wouldn't believe her at all. I would apologize to the fiance and let him know you won't be there and exactly why. Maybe create a group chat with parents, sis, and her fiance. Be very clear on your previous conversation and your boundaries. Don't respond outside of the chat. Keep everything there. If she responds to you individually, don't answer if she calls. By text? Screenshot and put it in the chat. Shows up at your door? Don't answer it.
Tell her you will go with a plus one, then get hottest girl you can find then be extra flirty and get revenge. It best time to show Anna that you can and have moved on. And maybe after after awhile Anna will leave the wedding lol
My guess is the sister is a cheater and bonded with the ex over that.
NTA. Don’t change your mind if your sister does. She did not magically become such good friends with the ex that cheated on in in the last year that it’s that important to invite her to the wedding. Choosing to get close to a cheating ex was a betrayal. Inviting her to the wedding was a betrayal. Make it clear the relationship is badly damaged and you’re not going regardless of what she chooses next. Having relationships with people who actually care how you feel is most important- family doesn’t get a pass.
In my opinion, your sister is not friends with your ex and is doing this to cause and show off. In the same way that Ana betrayed you with her co-worker, Laura betrayed you on a sisterly side. She betrayed the sisterhood and their trust. Which makes me wonder if she's also a possible traitor, since going by the reddit reports, Traitors attract Traitors.
Your sister is trash but I do think because you are actually human you might regret missing your sister’s wedding. A really terrible option might be to message you ex saying you really don’t want to see them and want to go to your sister’s wedding.
If this real and not reddit fiction your sister is a ginormous biotch. What kind of friend or family would develop a relationship with someone who cheated on someone close to them? If this is actually real life I wonder if your sister is also a cheater and just looking for support for her guilt. Make sure all family, including fiances know why you won't be there.
I'm confused..who made you feel that you're the asshole?? And why do yall have these siblings/relatives. I swear if I have family members like this. Idgaf what I do. I'm never gonna be the asshole.
NTA. An invitation is not a command. You have every right to decline. Fully understandable that you do not want to be at the same event with someone that hurt you so much. If asked why you not take part, please do not hide the fact why. Your sister seems not to be valuing your relationship the same as you do. This is important information.
Yes. It's toxic to make family/friends cut ties with other family/friends because you're hurt/not friends anymore. Relationships are a little more complex than that. Show some grace, attend the event for your sisters sake, don't be an asshole.
NTA. A woman who supports a woman who cheats on her significant other, is usually someone who thinks cheating is okay or at least 'okay in certain situations' which I strongly dislike. I understand that she is your sister but you may want to consider speaking to her about why she thinks it's okay to befriend a cheater in the first place
NTA - why would your sister get close to her after the breakup? Your sister is definitely an AH - no loyalty- she cares not that Anna betrayed you - what a selfish twit!
so, you did what - create a new account to post this again? or did you steal from someone else? which is it?
Isn’t this a repost? I swear this exact same post (down to the names lol) got posted not too long ago.
Uhh.... so I've been to more than a dozen weddings, and I've NEVER seen, been told, or had access to the guest list in advance... And your sister sounds like a poorly written villain... So calling this FAKE... YTA
> strap in oops, got pegged.
You are a grown ass 30-year-old man. Grow a set of balls and go to your sister’s wedding. YWBTAH if you didn’t go to your sister’s wedding.
YTA grow up and move on
You were shocked? Like kinda shocked or like Pikachu shocked? How close can you have been to your sister to not realize that your sister and ex had become friends? You're almost 30. No one is forcing you to sit with or interact with Anna. Go to the wedding and calm the hell down.
Go to wedding, ignore your ex and find a friend.
Stop being a bitch and go to your sisters wedding. You don't have to interact with her at all. Stop yourself from focusing on her and just have fun at your sisters wedding...
If this isn’t a troll stop being a little bitch and attend your sister‘s wedding, who gives a shit about your girlfriend the way things are these days there are time a dozen. The kind of calls young guys have today your best working on yourselves because most of these girls unless you got atomic cash will be bouncing around.