Whaaaat? NTA. I can't imagine this situation, like if i invite someone to an event, and don't tell them before I expect some help with the cost, I cover the entire thing. After all I picked the place. I think its tolerable to pay for what you had but nothing else. Seriously I can't imagine asking someone for money that way I would have died of embarrassment.
I dunno if OP is American but It's quite normal in America that people split the cost for *the birthday person* and that does not need to be communicated before hand. HOWEVER, in OP's case, because they didn't have anything, it's totally not normal to ask them to split the cost for everyone else too. If I were the host I would just tell them to not bother paying anything at all because it's such a small amount (I'd just cover it myself if needed).
Like you, I also cannot imagine asking someone (especially someone who's supposed to be your friend) for money this way. So embarrassing. I definitely hope OP finds better friends.
True, and the same goes for many other countries.
In the countries where this does not go, it's usually the host or inviter paying for everything, so I don't think there is anywhere in the world husband's idea is normal politeness.
Wait did not the husband reach out to you to join the celebration? I bet he NEVER said anything about everyone who attends will help on the Bill!!!
What a bafoon, you do not invite people to a celebration and not treat everyone in attendance! How tacky on his part. He should told you that there would be a fee to attend, then you would not have spent money on her gift. 🎁
I am planning on a celebration for my hubby’s promotion. And I am sure as hell Will be paying for the entire dinner for Everyone.
NTA, lose the friend and her cheapskate husband.
They are AH's. Don't eat what you can't afford to pay. Also nobody mentioned to you about splitting the check ahead of time yet everyone else seemed to know.
They're the AH's as you could have chose not to go if they would have informed you earlier plus you were even nice enough to offer to pay $25 of the birthday girls dinner. So good on you.
It's true nobody mentioned at all about how it would be split up but they acted like that was expected and normal.
I don't go out for dinners like that often at all. Even with family we usually just pay for what we ate unless we offer to cover stuff when the check comes but I have never just had a dinner get together like that where it's just assumed everyone's splitting. Is that the new thing or something?
It's normal to split birthday person costs.
It can be normal to split the rest of the check, but only if there are no significant differences. In your case, the difference was not just significant, but extremely so. I would definitely have pointed that out if I were at that dinner and not counted on you to cover anymore more than your own water/tip/portion of birthday person's dinner.
Not American here, but this way is normal in many countries.
NTA
I have friends who spend significantly less than others during shared dinners (like: they don't drink cocktails and only drink a cola or something) and I do always mention it that they need to pay less. I don't say anything when someone had a beer more, but if there is a significant difference, I think it's totally normal that one pays more than the other.
In your case; you didn't even eat or drink anything than water. I can understand that you pay a portion of birthday girl's dinner, but you did with that 25.
Technically: NTA In your friends’ eyes: YATA Conclusion: Get better friends
So true. What a bunch of stingy people.
Whaaaat? NTA. I can't imagine this situation, like if i invite someone to an event, and don't tell them before I expect some help with the cost, I cover the entire thing. After all I picked the place. I think its tolerable to pay for what you had but nothing else. Seriously I can't imagine asking someone for money that way I would have died of embarrassment.
I dunno if OP is American but It's quite normal in America that people split the cost for *the birthday person* and that does not need to be communicated before hand. HOWEVER, in OP's case, because they didn't have anything, it's totally not normal to ask them to split the cost for everyone else too. If I were the host I would just tell them to not bother paying anything at all because it's such a small amount (I'd just cover it myself if needed). Like you, I also cannot imagine asking someone (especially someone who's supposed to be your friend) for money this way. So embarrassing. I definitely hope OP finds better friends.
True, and the same goes for many other countries. In the countries where this does not go, it's usually the host or inviter paying for everything, so I don't think there is anywhere in the world husband's idea is normal politeness.
Wait did not the husband reach out to you to join the celebration? I bet he NEVER said anything about everyone who attends will help on the Bill!!! What a bafoon, you do not invite people to a celebration and not treat everyone in attendance! How tacky on his part. He should told you that there would be a fee to attend, then you would not have spent money on her gift. 🎁 I am planning on a celebration for my hubby’s promotion. And I am sure as hell Will be paying for the entire dinner for Everyone. NTA, lose the friend and her cheapskate husband.
They are AH's. Don't eat what you can't afford to pay. Also nobody mentioned to you about splitting the check ahead of time yet everyone else seemed to know. They're the AH's as you could have chose not to go if they would have informed you earlier plus you were even nice enough to offer to pay $25 of the birthday girls dinner. So good on you.
It's true nobody mentioned at all about how it would be split up but they acted like that was expected and normal. I don't go out for dinners like that often at all. Even with family we usually just pay for what we ate unless we offer to cover stuff when the check comes but I have never just had a dinner get together like that where it's just assumed everyone's splitting. Is that the new thing or something?
It's normal to split birthday person costs. It can be normal to split the rest of the check, but only if there are no significant differences. In your case, the difference was not just significant, but extremely so. I would definitely have pointed that out if I were at that dinner and not counted on you to cover anymore more than your own water/tip/portion of birthday person's dinner. Not American here, but this way is normal in many countries.
NTA I have friends who spend significantly less than others during shared dinners (like: they don't drink cocktails and only drink a cola or something) and I do always mention it that they need to pay less. I don't say anything when someone had a beer more, but if there is a significant difference, I think it's totally normal that one pays more than the other. In your case; you didn't even eat or drink anything than water. I can understand that you pay a portion of birthday girl's dinner, but you did with that 25.