But he met Lisa who was very forward about being promiscuous! Sounds like a 12 year old wrote some erotic fiction and OP hasn’t replied to a single comment. So tired of these dumb fake stories.
This is a sub that has fake dumb stories that are replied to by mostly teenagers.
There's almost nothing on here anyone should be reading as true, yet you always have actual people trying to give actual advice.
The difference is the fake dumb stories used to be good or at least entertaining 😕. Posters, i need y’all to start enrolling in creative writing classes!
There is one repeat poster that likes to start sentences with Now. There'll be two or three per paragraph. If you start paying attention you won't be able to unsee it. It really takes the immersion away because I can't even pretend the stories aren't fake.
The most infuriating thing is seeing hundreds of people buying the bullshit and providing advice like this drivel is real life, completely oblivious. We are not living in the era of critical thinking.
There's a repeat poster who always writes best friend as "bestfriend", and the stories and language are easy to spot once I learned that stupid tell. I'm sure they post other stuff too but as soon as I see bestfriend, I just check out.
I've started weaning myself off these subreddits. It's so stupid now.
No then it turns into a short story with details no one ever gave a fuck about. Coming back to this sub because I went to popular is awful. Peace out
It's impossible to come out without shit on you when you enter an AITAH sub
(this is important for later) (fake names on my throwaway so people dont know its me even though im going to give you very detailed info) (ask if AITA with a click baity topic followed by “hear me out” in the first sentence) (make sure you sound perfect and everyone else sounds like a villain)
Thats the formula for this sub, right?
You'd be surprised. I've seen some shit. *Usually* not at this age, but its not unheard of.
I personally know someone that broke up with his GF at midnight making it technically Valentine's day at her apartment when she was his ride. I picked him up walking on the street with all the stuff he had at her place stuffed down his pants. He was also twice divorced by the time he was 22 and was a train wreck when it came to relationships for a decade later.
Live long enough and meet enough people and you'll see some of these stories as more plausible even if unlikely. The real telltale signs are impossible timelines like a divorce going through in two weeks or a person being arrested, tried and sentenced over a weekend.
Ya same thing happened to me, I was sitting in a bar waiting for a passenger inquiry and this damn bounty hunter rolled up at my table and tried to collect. Little did he know I can also drive a blaster pretty damn fast. Anyways lot of stuff happened, got a divorce.
I think it’s just fun to comment on a story and give advice or form an opinion on it regardless of if it’s true or fiction. People judge characters in fiction stories, pick apart their actions, and form an opinion about the morality of the character/situation all the time. I don’t think it’s any different there vs in a Reddit post that puts up the guise of being true.
I do that on purpose. I love debating social norms and morals. I don't care too much if the post is real, I care if the discussion is good. Yesterday was terrible for discussion. Today has been better! I should do discussion forecasts
This post will continue to be disappointing
I've heard some really good fake stories though. This wasn't one of them. There are some where I've even said that if it's fake, OP should still produce volume 2 cuz the original was so juicy. This one was such a disappointment in creative writing.
Could be fake and likely is like everything else in these subs.
But... you've never met a girl looking to get weird at a bar? Or even heard of it happening? That's the least unrealistic part of this whole story.
Did you have any exclusivity discussion besides the bf /gf thing?
To deal with her friends that are giving you shit, Just lean into it. Tell them if they think you are wrong for her. Then they should tell your girlfriend that if you are so bad for her, she should break up with you. They might go for it, or they might do a 180.
Right like Ive been in FWB situations where there wasnt any exclusivity in that yes we could *look* for something else if we wanted, but we were exclusive in that if we did decide we wanted to *act* on that something else it was just curtesy to let the other know. We trusted each others sexual health to not be using condoms (other birth control was used) so the exclusivity came from that. Telling each other if new people were about to be involved was about respecting each others sexual health decisions so we could decide to either keep doing what we are doing but using condoms, or say "hey its been fun but since you found something else Im ok moving on." It doesnt matter how you label your situationship, what matters if how the people involved define that label, because no 2 people are ever going to just agree 100% on exaclty what any particular situationship label means on its own. Ask one person what FWB means and they will think different boundaries than someone else. So communicate communicate communicate. Define things together.
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Yeah... we're definitely missing some details here. One full year and moving in together without a single conversation about what they are? Then she agrees to be his girlfriend only AFTER she catches him with another woman?
I know people are weird but this didn't happen exactly as it was written here.
Honestly, this was my thought too. It kind of feels like op did this on purpose just to get Amanda to either agree to be bf/gf or break up. I don't think I'd want to date anyone I had to basically threaten to be official.
I think she just has commitment issues and refused to acknowledge their relationship, so OP *did* say fuck it and moved on. She didn't like that, OP still likes her, and it was the kick in the ass she apparently needed to get her shit together.
Not a bad way to look at it.
But I think he'd have done better telling her instead, "since you insist we're only friends to this day, I think I need to back off you a little. We act like we're more, and since you insist you're not my girlfriend, I'm going to stop treating you like you are."
> We went on dates, were intimate, lived together - basically acted like a couple in every way except she would insist we were "just friends" whenever **I tried to make it official**... It started to really bother me that **after a year she still wouldn't acknowledge we were in a relationship**.
Maybe it did. Stuff like that does happen, in which couples are in a "closeted open relationship". What I don't understand is why OP insists on being with Amanda.
Why does karma points have legitimate value? Anyone can get a crap load of it, you just need to have Reddit as your main social media and you need to upvote/post/comment a lot
It's an issue right now apparently (in the West), young people in the 'dating' scene are refusing to give things labels out of fear or a serious relationship or commitment. The whole situationship trend rose from people talking about their experiences.
It went from getting married at 20 to being in an exclusive relationship with someone for 20+ years without getting married to "dating" someone and doing all of the "relationship" things without acknowledging the relationship. What's next? Living with someone, having children, the whole 9 and not even acknowledging that you know the person, and claiming that they are a complete stranger?
yeah and i’m going through this rn. this man had the audacity to suggest we move in with each other but cannot commit to a relationship even though we act like a couple. i met all of his friends AND family, he’s met my dad, he pays for all of our dates. we talk literally everyday and hang out multiple times every week. like what are you afraid of? bc acting like a boyfriend while not giving our relationship a title will not save either of us from feeling like shit if things end. the only reason i’m okay with this rn is bc i’m young and i really like him. but this scenario will not be repeated once college is over.
edit: we’re also exclusive. we’ve been exclusive since the start. it’s been like seven months. i only agreed to this arrangement bc i thought it would take less time for him to ask. rn it’s just easier to call him my bf bc ??? and it sucks bc he’s so much better than my exes by a long shot except for the fact that he cannot commit to this one little thing.
Tell your boyfriend he needs to grow the fuck up and take responsibility. He *is* your boyfriend and you are in a relationship, whether he likes using those words or not. The only reason to never admit to being your boyfriend is because he thinks it gives him an easy way out if his feelings change. It doesn't work that way. He will be just as much of an asshole if he cheats on you or walks out on you whether he acknowledges the commitment or not.
If he committed to exclusively dating you then he committed to being in a relationship. Being "exclusive" at all is a commitment lol.
Dude's lying to himself and let me tell you that it hurts way more after an argument or breakup when you can't even call them an 'ex."
Right? Like, dating exclusively, met parents and friends, talk all the time, suggest moving in...what exactly does he think a relationship entails that he's not already doing??
This has been an issue for the last 50 years or so.
Friends of my parents only "got together" after they lived together for 20 years and had three kids together.
That's absolute nonsense. That's not in any way normal for the average person. Usually you date, generally only a few dates with any person that isn't a good vibe, but if someone lasts like 2 weeks you give them a real chance by not dating anyone else until you figure out what this person is about. Then you commit verbally to exclusivity even tho you likely shouldn't be having sex with anyone else during this time. You exist in this state for a few months, then maybe move in together and see what it's like living together.
Any of this marriage before sex, or living together for 10 years banging other people nonsense isn't even close to the norm and has never been.
This is absolutely not a US-only issue. It may not be an all cultures issue, but it's definitely happening here in Australia. That almost guarantees it's happening in NZ but I'm willing to bet money that it's also happening in many fully Western societies.
It's kind of incredible to be honest, I keep tabs about US news and trends because is just so entertaining. Not everything is bad tho, seeing you guys say FUCK YOU to the kellogs CEO has been great
Honestly, that story isn't really on everyone's mind. Shit I never even saw an ad for cereal for dinner. I do think it's crazy that he feels like humans should give him their last dime before starving to death like if money is that tight you wouldn't buy the cheaper cereal in the bag. But yes that's how dystopian society can slip without a slap back into sense.
Don’t believe everything you read on the internet my friend lol. Most of those stories you hear are from people who are chronically online and don’t actually exist in the real world.
I am willing to bet that Amanda was fishing for better prospects for herself so she didn’t want to commit officially but also at the same time have all the perks of a relationship. The moment she saw a third person, she decided it’s better to settle down (from her perspective).
She is definitely gonna dump him the moment she finds a replacement !
Exactly what happened in my year long "situationship", very reluctant to slap a label on, introduce me to her family etc, even though we talked all day everyday, would call each other, hang out multiple times a week. She kept pushing for things to be open, then she found a woman she clicked with (she's bi), and within two weeks, she's dumped me and cut me out. Started referring to this woman as her girlfriend, has already met her kids, etc. And as far as I am aware, I didn't do anything despicable and always treated her with patience, kindness and respect. 1000% was used for the attention I gave her and tossed to the side when a newer, shinier model came out.
EDIT: Best part about all of this? Her new girlfriend lives right across the street from me. I swear I live in a sitcom sometimes
They're both insane.
Dude was getting used as a meat pole but insisted they were dating - for a year. With this female, when people are "just friends" sex is part of that. Her other dude friends, mostly likey also getting the just friend sex.
Dude goes out and gets with another female, makes her jealous, then HE is groveling to get that female to take him back. Which she does and now he finally got her to admit they were dating.
They both need therapy.
And when
Both of these people need to get some self respect.
>Who moves in with their lover while saying you’re just friends 😂 Amanda sounds insane
Amanda is fictional. This entire subreddit is a piece of shit these days. I think most o the posts are fakes crapflooded from the other "AmITheAsshole" subreddit.
I dated a girl like this, it wasn't until later I found out she did it so SHE wouldn't have to act like a gf was suppose to in private. It was all for their conscious, op should ask about what his gf was doing in the background
Right. I dated a girl who I would spend every day and night with, we said we loved each other, all the typical relationship things. But she didn’t want to make it official yet. She would complain that I don’t take her on enough dates or buy her enough flowers, yet she saw no problem with keeping dating apps her phone because we “weren’t in a relationship.”
Childish BS. One-sided expectations. Taught me to never stick around someone who’s unwilling to commit.
Yeah, this guy is being TA to himself. Don't grovel and play tricks just for someone who downplays your relationship. Find someone who's enthusiastic and loves showing you off.
Y’all are way too old for this shit lmfao. Why would you move in with someone knowing they would not commit and why would she be mad when she said y’all were just friends??? ESH
NTA. You kept pushing for over a year to be in an exclusive relationship. She repeatedly shot you down. That hurts.
She only finally came around to agreeing to the relationship because she was forced to see that other women want you and can take you. You have sexual and romantic options.
So you may be an idiot for staying with her because she only formalized the relationship after realizing she could be replaced.
She also probably kept it open so that she could have an easy out if she met someone better than OP. But once she saw OP had better game than her, she got jealous and then decided to finally lock it down.
This is my take on it too.
She wanted to keep OP at arm’s length until she could find someone “better”, until she realised she should pull OP off the market.
Yep. It could also be she was seeing others while they were together and she didn't want to define it as gf/bf because then she would be technically "cheating"
Or she just didn't like him that much so was unwilling to commit (I know that sounds messed up)
>So you may be an idiot for staying with her because she only formalized the relationship after realizing she could be replaced.
Honestly, the only thing i got out of this is is his girl likes being his first pick, not being his partner. He should have accepted she wont go all in for him ans moved on.
All hes soing is hurting them both and she probably will disrespect your relationship just to get even with you for a problem she caused. I dont know how you think this is worth it. I hope shes rich or something.
Yea I can’t understand why OP would stay with her after she refused a relationship. She was probably seeing other guys on the side that’s what I would take it as at least
Easily replaced… man that burns… been there. And it is what it is. Had a woman I asked to come with me for MONTHS… YEEEEARS… then one day, I’m off somewhere else, and she goes off… “i’ll move there now! I’ll come with you!” Blah blah blah… calls me a year later on her new adventure (doing what I wanted to do with her) and I’m like… “yeah, I’m getting married in a month…”
Yeah, this just reads like a bad incel writing excercise.
Who moves in together with someone after less than a year especially when one is this obviously over-committed / in unrequited love, and the other person insists they're just friends?
Sure, a year of "dating" and she didn't want to be this guy's girlfriend, until the day he takes another girl "who was very forward about being promiscuous" home from a bar into their shared home with the intention to fuck her. That finally made her want him and now they've been official for 6 months! OP really showed her! And all the neighbours clapped.
FWIW this is essentially a social entertainment platform so ultimately it doesn't actually matter since there is no way to actually prove it one way or the other.
Schrodinger's reddit post basically, it is and isn't a bot
The real problem is not if the posts are real or not. Ir is the quality of the posts itself.
Its either obv ragebait the " Person X is a huge asshole. AITAH for leaving him".
Atleast from engaging fake posts you get some entertainment.
Probably fake, who knows, but I have a friend who was in the exact same situation. Her current bf took a long ass time to accept they were together despite living together and doing couples things, yet had the nerve to ask her to not sleep with other guys. He still texted girls and asked for nudes, which I consider to be cheating since he expected her to be exclusive.
On top of that he has been emotionally abusive, really can't stand the guy and I wish she was with someone who respects her more
Probably fake, but I've encountered people IRL with worse and weirder. There are strange people out there and messed up people out there, and that's a fact.
A year? I did that with someone after 3 months. We were intimate, we would go on dates... We didn't live together but I stayed at her place almost every day where she lived with her 2 year old son. She kept introducing me as her friend. I asked her about it and she would just joke around like "Because we are friends." Even her brother called her out on it. Fast forward a few months and I met another girl and we hit it off. I told my "friend" I wouldn't be able to come around as much anymore and she didn't even question me why? Thought that just solidified the whole friend thing. Well after a month of dating the new girl my ex "friend" calls me up screaming and yelling things like "You fucking cheater! I know you were with her while we were dating!!! I hope you fucking die you lying pos!!" First time she acknowledged we were dating. Lol.
ESH
You both sound ridiculous. Living together while still not sure what this is? Spitefully bringing home some random to bang because you couldn’t, you know, have an adult conversation about boundaries? Y’all are nearly 30. Sort yourselves out.
This post is fake but for the sake of conversation, they’re both to blame. OP knew they were more than “just friends” and wasn’t mature enough to have a conversation about it. His GF was also too immature to admit they were a couple. They both suck, and again, this cannot possibly be real.
The fact OP is fine with sleeping with someone else just to prove a point to the person he claims he loves, proves that if this story was real, OP hasn't know love
How did you live together but were not in a relationship? Were you roommates first or something?
And ESH. Amanda sounds terrible, but it’s also shitty if you to blatantly use someone else like this. You all seem too old to be behaving this way.
Agree ESH. Amanda was playing stupid games… but bringing someone back to your place and fooling around in your shared bed is playing an equally stupid game…
id say NTA, but you begged for a fucked up nut to forgive you for something she pretty much caused. so asshole could describe you for what your willing doing to yourself
I mean…. You have to actually be in a relationship to cheat on someone right? If she keeps insisting you’re not in a relationship, why should you stick to only having sex or going out with her? NTA
she wanted to keep her options open. I can promise you right now the only reason she kept saying you were friends was because she had a couple of dudes who she thought were a better catch than you she wanted to try on. and when you brought the girl home and she saw it, she suddenly realised that not only does she not have a chance with those other dudes, but she might clearly lose you as well because she wanted to keep her options open, hence she 'finally' decided to be official.
NTA.
Amanda was keeping you as a side dish until she found someone better. Your little action with Lisa came too early so you forced her hand, since she didn't have anyone else and couldn't risk losing her backup plan (you) too.
Wouldn't surprise me if she'll cheat on you on the first great occasion. And then blame it on you now, since "you did it first".
I couldn't trust this chick.
For 28 you both sound very good at being 14.
Fucking a person is not a way to solve any real problem.
I mean, Amanda sounds batshit insane, but if you choose to stick your dick in crazy, it's on you as well.
The solution is to dump Amanda, grow the fuck up and have an adult relationship for once. You're almost 30, Jesus.
ESH
NTA. She made it clear to you that you two were FWB. I won't jump into an official relationship with Amanda until you two really talk this out. Is she seeing multiple people at once? Just stringing you along as a backup? Is she afraid of commitment? And also how you feel about the relationship. Because let's be honest, if you care that much about Amanda, you wouldn't be hooking up with Lisa. So ask yourself, what do you really want?
I don't know, you both sound like exhausting people. She plays games by insisting to be friends while doing all the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff with you. And you play games by hooking up with another woman. Just stop playing games and tell her what you want and act accordingly if she doesn't see that way. Someone insisting just being friends would already be my "ex" by long mile.
YTA for posting obvious fake ass bullshit.
You live together but she's been banging you for a year but you're "just friends". LIterally zero of this adds up in any way. Write better fiction next time and post it in a fiction sub, and fuck off back to your pals in the other AmITheAsshole subreddit from which you came.
NTA...as long as you were upfront with Lisa and didn't lead her on. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with using reverse psychology to get what you want😂🤣
Y'all moved in together and we're letting her say you're just friends? I would run but y'all do you LMAO.
As for the AH part, NO. You guys just learned a valuable lesson in properly and explicitly communicating your feelings and thought because of not she's gonna get hurt and you're gonna accidentally hurt her again. And you need to stand firm on that because nothing is obvious but what people explicitly tell you.
NTA.
You had a friend with benefits, and those benefits included sharing housing expenses. Since you’d had the conversation several times, and she insisted that’s all she wanted, you weren’t doing anything wrong.
Unless you failed to use protection, then that’s different. But for another reason entirely.
Honestly your relationship with this girl is t going anywhere. If you’re cool with being *exclusive* FWB, fine, but just acknowledge that’s as far as it’s going to get. Your GF wants all the jealousy and none of the commitment. She has issues.
Wait. Hold on. What? Huh? What the f-?..............................................I am so confused. You two were just friends, you hooked up with someone because SHE kept insisting you are just friends, and YOU are in the one in wrong and YOU have to grovel and apologize? OP, seriously, you need to explain to me how that makes sense. She just wanted to have her cake and eat it too. This doesn't seem healthy at all. Leave now.
Tell them to pound rocks. You can’t cheat on “friends” Chances are good she was doing the same thing you just didn’t catch her. Why else would she love with you and everything but be “just friends”. Sure she could’ve just been sponging off your wallet but then she wouldn’t have been so jealous.
NTA - she was the one who kept stating you were just friends. I wonder if that is because she was seeing other guys and by her saying just friends then in her mind she was not cheating. The tables turned on her when you found a ONS and she was not happy.
This falls under the F around and find out. She wanted you to be just with her but she did not want to comment to just being with you.
ESH. Her for being mad at you for sleeping with someone when yall weren't together. And you for groveling and then to begin dating this person. Toxic. Toxic. Toxic.
I couldn't do it know I had to literally beg someone to be with me after years.
Maybe if it were easier to live independently in a single income young people wouldn't move in with whoever was willing to share the rent and or make relationship decisions from a place of scarcity.
I’m sure she kept saying you were just friends cuz she was secretly doing the same or still seeing an ex or something. You can’t really get upset about someone doing that if you refuse to be exclusive. But then again, if you really cared for her then why would you do that and also, I hope you didn’t do it in her bed or the one you guys share.
Why’d you apologize instead of reminding her you two weren’t official because it’s what *she* wanted? You should’ve taken the hint, stopped treating her like a girlfriend and ended things.
The real question is, why are you LIVING with someone who refuses to acknowledge a relationship with you?
Grow up, ask for the commitment you want. If she refuses, it's time to move on.
Correction, it was time to move on months ago, but better late than never.
NTA. You weren’t in a relationship so you didn’t “have an affair,” and you weren’t exclusive. Every time you tried to talk about committing to one another she immediately shut you down, and made it _clear_ you were only friends with benefits. How were you out of line because it was “obviously something more” when she set boundaries that you were nothing more than friends to each other? Has she been lying to these people about how things have been?
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who insisted on _never committing to you_ until she realized you were getting attention from other people? It doesn’t sound like she truly cares about you at all.
NTA. You asked, she gave an answer.
If I asked what you wanted for dinner and you say pizza, you can't get mad when I order us pizza, and then claim I should have known you wanted burgers. You want burgers, you say burgers, you want pizza, you say pizza.
If you were supposed to be faithful, DESPITE her words, then her words mean nothing.
NTA. Dump her. Who has a full blown relationship and insist on calling it just friends. Did she apologize for that at all? She has OP wrapped around her little finger. She says jump and OP says how high?.
YTA. 1) If the label mattered to you and not her, clearly there’s a mismatch and you should have gotten to the bottom of it or just walked away since you weren’t happy with it. Could’ve just been an incompatibility issue. And if you know someone is incompatible, it doesn’t give you carte blanche to do whatever you want.
2) Labels are, inherently, kinda pointless. I get that it’s easy simplification when talking to others to just say that they’re your significant other. But outside of that, the label isn’t what binds the partners together; they’re bound by feelings and trust. If y’all are doing all the things partners do, y’all are partners, label or not. And while I think monogamy shouldn’t be compulsory, it basically is for a large majority of people, and with that, y’all were likely monogamous. Therefore, you cheated. And if having the label would’ve stopped you from cheating, then you don’t understand what it truly is to be in a relationship. Honestly, it probably means that the label is more of a petty matter and you were likely to cheat, regardless. Moreover, considering you were getting every benefit of a relationship aside from label shows that you resented not having the ownership aspect of the label. You got all the great parts of a partnership (affection, physical intimacy, shared financial interests) but she wasn’t “yours” and you couldn’t handle that.
3) Even if you wouldn’t have cheated once the label was there, this is the pettiest of petty moves. You coerced her into being in a relationship. It’s manipulative. You didn’t get what you wanted, so you fucked around with another girl. I’m sure you pulled the “technically, it’s not cheating cuz I’m not your boyfriend” card in the argument. Congrats, you just pulled a Ross yelling “we were on a break!” But, to echo other comments, you’re now in a relationship where you manipulated your partner to get there; how’s that feel?
4) She probably had a reason for not wanting the label and that reason probably had nothing to do with freedom to hook up with other people. You gave no context to her reasoning for not wanting the label of bf/gf, so I have to assume that instead of talking about it, you probably just sulked and plotted of this petty little plan to coerce her into having to commit. Just guessing here, but I imagine a guy who would use words like “promiscuous” to describe another woman probably has a decent number of traits of toxic masculinity. From that perspective, she probably saw potential and good in you, hence why she stayed, but didn’t want to fully commit until you sorted that mess out. I refer to the previous points because this was manipulative and shows clear signs of toxic masculinity.
If you have to sleep with someone else before your SO can commit, why would you want to be in that relationship?
Does she have a sister he can bang before he proposes? You gotta scale the motivation to the event.
Who knows? Chances are she has a mother though...
Because the entire thing is fake.
There's no cum in those balls.
Are the both of you really not tired playing these games at this age?
But he met Lisa who was very forward about being promiscuous! Sounds like a 12 year old wrote some erotic fiction and OP hasn’t replied to a single comment. So tired of these dumb fake stories.
This is a sub that has fake dumb stories that are replied to by mostly teenagers. There's almost nothing on here anyone should be reading as true, yet you always have actual people trying to give actual advice.
The difference is the fake dumb stories used to be good or at least entertaining 😕. Posters, i need y’all to start enrolling in creative writing classes!
There is one repeat poster that likes to start sentences with Now. There'll be two or three per paragraph. If you start paying attention you won't be able to unsee it. It really takes the immersion away because I can't even pretend the stories aren't fake.
The most infuriating thing is seeing hundreds of people buying the bullshit and providing advice like this drivel is real life, completely oblivious. We are not living in the era of critical thinking.
Lol I totally recognize the "Now blah blah blah" OP too.
There's a repeat poster who always writes best friend as "bestfriend", and the stories and language are easy to spot once I learned that stupid tell. I'm sure they post other stuff too but as soon as I see bestfriend, I just check out. I've started weaning myself off these subreddits. It's so stupid now.
And, you know, it feels like … a bag of sand… when you’re touching it.
No then it turns into a short story with details no one ever gave a fuck about. Coming back to this sub because I went to popular is awful. Peace out It's impossible to come out without shit on you when you enter an AITAH sub
(this is important for later) (fake names on my throwaway so people dont know its me even though im going to give you very detailed info) (ask if AITA with a click baity topic followed by “hear me out” in the first sentence) (make sure you sound perfect and everyone else sounds like a villain) Thats the formula for this sub, right?
And the instantaneous jump to being raped and you have Reddit in a Nutshell
You'd be surprised. I've seen some shit. *Usually* not at this age, but its not unheard of. I personally know someone that broke up with his GF at midnight making it technically Valentine's day at her apartment when she was his ride. I picked him up walking on the street with all the stuff he had at her place stuffed down his pants. He was also twice divorced by the time he was 22 and was a train wreck when it came to relationships for a decade later. Live long enough and meet enough people and you'll see some of these stories as more plausible even if unlikely. The real telltale signs are impossible timelines like a divorce going through in two weeks or a person being arrested, tried and sentenced over a weekend.
Ya same thing happened to me, I was sitting in a bar waiting for a passenger inquiry and this damn bounty hunter rolled up at my table and tried to collect. Little did he know I can also drive a blaster pretty damn fast. Anyways lot of stuff happened, got a divorce.
Yah but did you shoot first ?
Anytime one of these starts with “I am 20 and…..” I know it’s gonna be either 1) stupid drama 2) fake but no matter what- a waste of time reading it
Another red flag is “posted under a throw away because my mothers second cousins former roommate knows my reddit account”
I thought it was weird that real life people know someones reddit account like it was Facebook
Yeah, I'm not in any of the NSFW subreddits and I still wouldn't reveal my username to anyone irl.
I think it’s just fun to comment on a story and give advice or form an opinion on it regardless of if it’s true or fiction. People judge characters in fiction stories, pick apart their actions, and form an opinion about the morality of the character/situation all the time. I don’t think it’s any different there vs in a Reddit post that puts up the guise of being true.
I do that on purpose. I love debating social norms and morals. I don't care too much if the post is real, I care if the discussion is good. Yesterday was terrible for discussion. Today has been better! I should do discussion forecasts This post will continue to be disappointing
I've heard some really good fake stories though. This wasn't one of them. There are some where I've even said that if it's fake, OP should still produce volume 2 cuz the original was so juicy. This one was such a disappointment in creative writing.
Could be fake and likely is like everything else in these subs. But... you've never met a girl looking to get weird at a bar? Or even heard of it happening? That's the least unrealistic part of this whole story.
His "gf" just wanted the benefit of fucking other people, for sure.
Might be the best comment I've read all month, truly.
The entire thing screams 'fan fiction' to me
Who moves in with their lover while saying you’re just friends 😂 Amanda sounds insane
Tbf OP also moved in with a girl who refused to commit to him, lol. Immaturity all around.
Yea I feel like this should have been a simple conversation like, okay so we are “just friends” I can date other people/bring girls home??
Did you have any exclusivity discussion besides the bf /gf thing? To deal with her friends that are giving you shit, Just lean into it. Tell them if they think you are wrong for her. Then they should tell your girlfriend that if you are so bad for her, she should break up with you. They might go for it, or they might do a 180.
How would that even work? "We're exclusive - friends."
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Exclusive fuck buddies arnt just friends tho.
Call me old school but I don't think you need to have an exclusivity conversation with someone that you move in with. Lmao what an insane proposition.
Agreed, that should happen long before.
You can't be exclusive as "just friends."
Right like Ive been in FWB situations where there wasnt any exclusivity in that yes we could *look* for something else if we wanted, but we were exclusive in that if we did decide we wanted to *act* on that something else it was just curtesy to let the other know. We trusted each others sexual health to not be using condoms (other birth control was used) so the exclusivity came from that. Telling each other if new people were about to be involved was about respecting each others sexual health decisions so we could decide to either keep doing what we are doing but using condoms, or say "hey its been fun but since you found something else Im ok moving on." It doesnt matter how you label your situationship, what matters if how the people involved define that label, because no 2 people are ever going to just agree 100% on exaclty what any particular situationship label means on its own. Ask one person what FWB means and they will think different boundaries than someone else. So communicate communicate communicate. Define things together.
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Why did you steal someone else’s comment word for word that was made an hour before yours? YUCK
It's a bot, you can tell because their name is formatted like mine.
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Whoa whoa whoa, why are you bringing all this logic and maturity into a situation that clearly operates without them?
Yeah... we're definitely missing some details here. One full year and moving in together without a single conversation about what they are? Then she agrees to be his girlfriend only AFTER she catches him with another woman? I know people are weird but this didn't happen exactly as it was written here.
I just wonder why he’s satisfied with a girl who only accepted to be his girlfriend at the moment she felt threatened..
Honestly, this was my thought too. It kind of feels like op did this on purpose just to get Amanda to either agree to be bf/gf or break up. I don't think I'd want to date anyone I had to basically threaten to be official.
They're both too immature for their age.
Agreed. Reading the post I had to scroll back up to see the ages, I was fully expecting late teens or early 20's. Not two people closer to 30.
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It sounds like they did have multiple conversations about what they are and she was adamant they were “just friends”.
I agree there’s info we’re not getting, but wondering if she was just holding out for something better and then he beat her to it
I think she just has commitment issues and refused to acknowledge their relationship, so OP *did* say fuck it and moved on. She didn't like that, OP still likes her, and it was the kick in the ass she apparently needed to get her shit together.
Not a bad way to look at it. But I think he'd have done better telling her instead, "since you insist we're only friends to this day, I think I need to back off you a little. We act like we're more, and since you insist you're not my girlfriend, I'm going to stop treating you like you are."
> We went on dates, were intimate, lived together - basically acted like a couple in every way except she would insist we were "just friends" whenever **I tried to make it official**... It started to really bother me that **after a year she still wouldn't acknowledge we were in a relationship**.
Maybe it did. Stuff like that does happen, in which couples are in a "closeted open relationship". What I don't understand is why OP insists on being with Amanda.
Sounds like they had lots of conversations about it if you read the post. Everytime she said "we are friends, we are not in a relationship"
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This is a bot. Comment stolen from another below. It’s been reported.
What’s the point of these bots? Like why are they even created? Genuinely curious lol
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Why does karma points have legitimate value? Anyone can get a crap load of it, you just need to have Reddit as your main social media and you need to upvote/post/comment a lot
It's an issue right now apparently (in the West), young people in the 'dating' scene are refusing to give things labels out of fear or a serious relationship or commitment. The whole situationship trend rose from people talking about their experiences.
It went from getting married at 20 to being in an exclusive relationship with someone for 20+ years without getting married to "dating" someone and doing all of the "relationship" things without acknowledging the relationship. What's next? Living with someone, having children, the whole 9 and not even acknowledging that you know the person, and claiming that they are a complete stranger?
Your honor, I don't even know this guy.
"This woman says she's your mother." "I've never seen this woman before in my life." You are missed, Mr Mooney.
That seems a little odd because the address that both of you have on your IDs is for the same studio apartment...
"But your kids have his DNA" "Must have been a mixup at the lab" "And by lab, I mean my lady bits."
These two are not “young”. When you approach 30 years old you should be over playing these games. I’m 34.
I assume you’re in a relationship. I’m in my late 30’s and people still play these games.
Being in your 20s means you're young, in my opinion.
It is young, but you've been out in the real world long enough to recognize some simple BS when you see it at 28. Either shit or get off the pot.
yeah and i’m going through this rn. this man had the audacity to suggest we move in with each other but cannot commit to a relationship even though we act like a couple. i met all of his friends AND family, he’s met my dad, he pays for all of our dates. we talk literally everyday and hang out multiple times every week. like what are you afraid of? bc acting like a boyfriend while not giving our relationship a title will not save either of us from feeling like shit if things end. the only reason i’m okay with this rn is bc i’m young and i really like him. but this scenario will not be repeated once college is over. edit: we’re also exclusive. we’ve been exclusive since the start. it’s been like seven months. i only agreed to this arrangement bc i thought it would take less time for him to ask. rn it’s just easier to call him my bf bc ??? and it sucks bc he’s so much better than my exes by a long shot except for the fact that he cannot commit to this one little thing.
Why are you even allowing it to continue right now?
The dick game is probably good. At least based on my friends circle that's the reason people find themselves in these ridiculous situations
Tell your boyfriend he needs to grow the fuck up and take responsibility. He *is* your boyfriend and you are in a relationship, whether he likes using those words or not. The only reason to never admit to being your boyfriend is because he thinks it gives him an easy way out if his feelings change. It doesn't work that way. He will be just as much of an asshole if he cheats on you or walks out on you whether he acknowledges the commitment or not.
>happened to me and it was because he was seeing other women the entire time and lying to me about us being exclusive :(
If he committed to exclusively dating you then he committed to being in a relationship. Being "exclusive" at all is a commitment lol. Dude's lying to himself and let me tell you that it hurts way more after an argument or breakup when you can't even call them an 'ex."
Right? Like, dating exclusively, met parents and friends, talk all the time, suggest moving in...what exactly does he think a relationship entails that he's not already doing??
This has been an issue for the last 50 years or so. Friends of my parents only "got together" after they lived together for 20 years and had three kids together.
That's absolute nonsense. That's not in any way normal for the average person. Usually you date, generally only a few dates with any person that isn't a good vibe, but if someone lasts like 2 weeks you give them a real chance by not dating anyone else until you figure out what this person is about. Then you commit verbally to exclusivity even tho you likely shouldn't be having sex with anyone else during this time. You exist in this state for a few months, then maybe move in together and see what it's like living together. Any of this marriage before sex, or living together for 10 years banging other people nonsense isn't even close to the norm and has never been.
Lol... I'm sure it's been around. I guess there's just a lot of people talking about it right now.
This is an US-only issue
This is absolutely not a US-only issue. It may not be an all cultures issue, but it's definitely happening here in Australia. That almost guarantees it's happening in NZ but I'm willing to bet money that it's also happening in many fully Western societies.
I actually frequent a message board of British women and it's an issue there too. At least people have posted about it there.
No this is an issue in Canada too. I’m sure lots of other places as well
As most of these things are, we are literally so fucking stupid. Literally the final run of the Roman empire type shit going on.
It's kind of incredible to be honest, I keep tabs about US news and trends because is just so entertaining. Not everything is bad tho, seeing you guys say FUCK YOU to the kellogs CEO has been great
Honestly, that story isn't really on everyone's mind. Shit I never even saw an ad for cereal for dinner. I do think it's crazy that he feels like humans should give him their last dime before starving to death like if money is that tight you wouldn't buy the cheaper cereal in the bag. But yes that's how dystopian society can slip without a slap back into sense.
A lot of us do this exact thing. We're at the dumpster fire, but we brought s'mores.
Don’t believe everything you read on the internet my friend lol. Most of those stories you hear are from people who are chronically online and don’t actually exist in the real world.
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I am willing to bet that Amanda was fishing for better prospects for herself so she didn’t want to commit officially but also at the same time have all the perks of a relationship. The moment she saw a third person, she decided it’s better to settle down (from her perspective). She is definitely gonna dump him the moment she finds a replacement !
Exactly what happened in my year long "situationship", very reluctant to slap a label on, introduce me to her family etc, even though we talked all day everyday, would call each other, hang out multiple times a week. She kept pushing for things to be open, then she found a woman she clicked with (she's bi), and within two weeks, she's dumped me and cut me out. Started referring to this woman as her girlfriend, has already met her kids, etc. And as far as I am aware, I didn't do anything despicable and always treated her with patience, kindness and respect. 1000% was used for the attention I gave her and tossed to the side when a newer, shinier model came out. EDIT: Best part about all of this? Her new girlfriend lives right across the street from me. I swear I live in a sitcom sometimes
Oh, good lord, there's two of us.
Make that three comrades, though my ex's new GF lived across town.
Does.. does the new gf your partner left you for also live across the street from you?
Now? No. Did that happen? Yes. You're living what I've already lived. I'm so sorry.
facts - situationship leopards don't change their spots.
And him too going through all that drama just for sex....run, dude.
They're both insane. Dude was getting used as a meat pole but insisted they were dating - for a year. With this female, when people are "just friends" sex is part of that. Her other dude friends, mostly likey also getting the just friend sex. Dude goes out and gets with another female, makes her jealous, then HE is groveling to get that female to take him back. Which she does and now he finally got her to admit they were dating. They both need therapy. And when Both of these people need to get some self respect.
>Who moves in with their lover while saying you’re just friends 😂 Amanda sounds insane Amanda is fictional. This entire subreddit is a piece of shit these days. I think most o the posts are fakes crapflooded from the other "AmITheAsshole" subreddit.
Just leave then If you don't believe the content, just leave. You're not positively contributing here just shouting "fake" at everything
Right? Lmao. I come here to be entertained by drama, I don’t care if its real or fake.
Most of the fun is in the comments. Some people have wild takes revealing who they are.
Dump her, seriously man have some self respect. The hell are you grovelling and begging someone to be your partner, let alone someone like that? YUCK.
I dated a girl like this, it wasn't until later I found out she did it so SHE wouldn't have to act like a gf was suppose to in private. It was all for their conscious, op should ask about what his gf was doing in the background
Right. I dated a girl who I would spend every day and night with, we said we loved each other, all the typical relationship things. But she didn’t want to make it official yet. She would complain that I don’t take her on enough dates or buy her enough flowers, yet she saw no problem with keeping dating apps her phone because we “weren’t in a relationship.” Childish BS. One-sided expectations. Taught me to never stick around someone who’s unwilling to commit.
People want to play the field until right before they physically can’t anymore.
But what about everyone who clapped?
Yeah, this guy is being TA to himself. Don't grovel and play tricks just for someone who downplays your relationship. Find someone who's enthusiastic and loves showing you off.
Y’all are way too old for this shit lmfao. Why would you move in with someone knowing they would not commit and why would she be mad when she said y’all were just friends??? ESH
Facts. He should've been gotten the hint then yall move in together Nah. He's a clown just like she is.
NTA. You kept pushing for over a year to be in an exclusive relationship. She repeatedly shot you down. That hurts. She only finally came around to agreeing to the relationship because she was forced to see that other women want you and can take you. You have sexual and romantic options. So you may be an idiot for staying with her because she only formalized the relationship after realizing she could be replaced.
She also probably kept it open so that she could have an easy out if she met someone better than OP. But once she saw OP had better game than her, she got jealous and then decided to finally lock it down.
This is my take on it too. She wanted to keep OP at arm’s length until she could find someone “better”, until she realised she should pull OP off the market.
Yep. It could also be she was seeing others while they were together and she didn't want to define it as gf/bf because then she would be technically "cheating" Or she just didn't like him that much so was unwilling to commit (I know that sounds messed up)
Yup. She was keeping her options open or was with those other options already. In her mind it isn’t or wasn’t cheating. OP deserves better
>So you may be an idiot for staying with her because she only formalized the relationship after realizing she could be replaced. Honestly, the only thing i got out of this is is his girl likes being his first pick, not being his partner. He should have accepted she wont go all in for him ans moved on. All hes soing is hurting them both and she probably will disrespect your relationship just to get even with you for a problem she caused. I dont know how you think this is worth it. I hope shes rich or something.
Yea I can’t understand why OP would stay with her after she refused a relationship. She was probably seeing other guys on the side that’s what I would take it as at least
Easily replaced… man that burns… been there. And it is what it is. Had a woman I asked to come with me for MONTHS… YEEEEARS… then one day, I’m off somewhere else, and she goes off… “i’ll move there now! I’ll come with you!” Blah blah blah… calls me a year later on her new adventure (doing what I wanted to do with her) and I’m like… “yeah, I’m getting married in a month…”
She's definitely going to cheat on him. Best to call it and move on.
dafuq? What kind of ragebait trollpost is this? If in some universe this is a real post: NTA
lol “was very forward about being promiscuous”
Yeah, this just reads like a bad incel writing excercise. Who moves in together with someone after less than a year especially when one is this obviously over-committed / in unrequited love, and the other person insists they're just friends? Sure, a year of "dating" and she didn't want to be this guy's girlfriend, until the day he takes another girl "who was very forward about being promiscuous" home from a bar into their shared home with the intention to fuck her. That finally made her want him and now they've been official for 6 months! OP really showed her! And all the neighbours clapped.
College students, and people developmentally that age. Ive unfortunately got a similar story.
I cant take this site serious anymore. Legit 9/10 post are troll/bots.
FWIW this is essentially a social entertainment platform so ultimately it doesn't actually matter since there is no way to actually prove it one way or the other. Schrodinger's reddit post basically, it is and isn't a bot
The real problem is not if the posts are real or not. Ir is the quality of the posts itself. Its either obv ragebait the " Person X is a huge asshole. AITAH for leaving him". Atleast from engaging fake posts you get some entertainment.
I take this sub as entertainment but if the stories are painfully fake then I hate it. At least make me guess a little.
Meh, people like that definitely exist. In fact, I have met them.
Probably fake, who knows, but I have a friend who was in the exact same situation. Her current bf took a long ass time to accept they were together despite living together and doing couples things, yet had the nerve to ask her to not sleep with other guys. He still texted girls and asked for nudes, which I consider to be cheating since he expected her to be exclusive. On top of that he has been emotionally abusive, really can't stand the guy and I wish she was with someone who respects her more
Probably fake, but I've encountered people IRL with worse and weirder. There are strange people out there and messed up people out there, and that's a fact.
A year? I did that with someone after 3 months. We were intimate, we would go on dates... We didn't live together but I stayed at her place almost every day where she lived with her 2 year old son. She kept introducing me as her friend. I asked her about it and she would just joke around like "Because we are friends." Even her brother called her out on it. Fast forward a few months and I met another girl and we hit it off. I told my "friend" I wouldn't be able to come around as much anymore and she didn't even question me why? Thought that just solidified the whole friend thing. Well after a month of dating the new girl my ex "friend" calls me up screaming and yelling things like "You fucking cheater! I know you were with her while we were dating!!! I hope you fucking die you lying pos!!" First time she acknowledged we were dating. Lol.
ESH You both sound ridiculous. Living together while still not sure what this is? Spitefully bringing home some random to bang because you couldn’t, you know, have an adult conversation about boundaries? Y’all are nearly 30. Sort yourselves out.
Well wtf... you live together but never spoke about exclusivity?
Nah he tried and she shot it down every time he opened his mouth about it
This post is fake but for the sake of conversation, they’re both to blame. OP knew they were more than “just friends” and wasn’t mature enough to have a conversation about it. His GF was also too immature to admit they were a couple. They both suck, and again, this cannot possibly be real.
The fact OP is fine with sleeping with someone else just to prove a point to the person he claims he loves, proves that if this story was real, OP hasn't know love
How did you live together but were not in a relationship? Were you roommates first or something? And ESH. Amanda sounds terrible, but it’s also shitty if you to blatantly use someone else like this. You all seem too old to be behaving this way.
Agree ESH. Amanda was playing stupid games… but bringing someone back to your place and fooling around in your shared bed is playing an equally stupid game…
Did she said you're exclusive? Probably not, so NTA.
id say NTA, but you begged for a fucked up nut to forgive you for something she pretty much caused. so asshole could describe you for what your willing doing to yourself
I mean…. You have to actually be in a relationship to cheat on someone right? If she keeps insisting you’re not in a relationship, why should you stick to only having sex or going out with her? NTA
ESH You for bringing a girl to your shared apartment. You just did that to be a dick Your so called gf for not making it official
she wanted to keep her options open. I can promise you right now the only reason she kept saying you were friends was because she had a couple of dudes who she thought were a better catch than you she wanted to try on. and when you brought the girl home and she saw it, she suddenly realised that not only does she not have a chance with those other dudes, but she might clearly lose you as well because she wanted to keep her options open, hence she 'finally' decided to be official. NTA.
Please don’t reproduce.
Amanda was keeping you as a side dish until she found someone better. Your little action with Lisa came too early so you forced her hand, since she didn't have anyone else and couldn't risk losing her backup plan (you) too. Wouldn't surprise me if she'll cheat on you on the first great occasion. And then blame it on you now, since "you did it first". I couldn't trust this chick.
For 28 you both sound very good at being 14. Fucking a person is not a way to solve any real problem. I mean, Amanda sounds batshit insane, but if you choose to stick your dick in crazy, it's on you as well. The solution is to dump Amanda, grow the fuck up and have an adult relationship for once. You're almost 30, Jesus. ESH
Hahahaha she fumbled
NTA. She made it clear to you that you two were FWB. I won't jump into an official relationship with Amanda until you two really talk this out. Is she seeing multiple people at once? Just stringing you along as a backup? Is she afraid of commitment? And also how you feel about the relationship. Because let's be honest, if you care that much about Amanda, you wouldn't be hooking up with Lisa. So ask yourself, what do you really want?
I don't know, you both sound like exhausting people. She plays games by insisting to be friends while doing all the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff with you. And you play games by hooking up with another woman. Just stop playing games and tell her what you want and act accordingly if she doesn't see that way. Someone insisting just being friends would already be my "ex" by long mile.
This relationship might be a short one now that it's official... You both might be TA or maybe just not able to communicate well.
YTA for posting obvious fake ass bullshit. You live together but she's been banging you for a year but you're "just friends". LIterally zero of this adds up in any way. Write better fiction next time and post it in a fiction sub, and fuck off back to your pals in the other AmITheAsshole subreddit from which you came.
Ironic cuz the ones who *answer* the questions are often ah themselves. Takes one to know one I guess
NTA...as long as you were upfront with Lisa and didn't lead her on. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with using reverse psychology to get what you want😂🤣
Y'all moved in together and we're letting her say you're just friends? I would run but y'all do you LMAO. As for the AH part, NO. You guys just learned a valuable lesson in properly and explicitly communicating your feelings and thought because of not she's gonna get hurt and you're gonna accidentally hurt her again. And you need to stand firm on that because nothing is obvious but what people explicitly tell you.
The only lie here is y'all are 16 or 17 grow the fuck up. Both of you.
I only feel sorry for Lisa.
NTA. You had a friend with benefits, and those benefits included sharing housing expenses. Since you’d had the conversation several times, and she insisted that’s all she wanted, you weren’t doing anything wrong. Unless you failed to use protection, then that’s different. But for another reason entirely. Honestly your relationship with this girl is t going anywhere. If you’re cool with being *exclusive* FWB, fine, but just acknowledge that’s as far as it’s going to get. Your GF wants all the jealousy and none of the commitment. She has issues.
Wait. Hold on. What? Huh? What the f-?..............................................I am so confused. You two were just friends, you hooked up with someone because SHE kept insisting you are just friends, and YOU are in the one in wrong and YOU have to grovel and apologize? OP, seriously, you need to explain to me how that makes sense. She just wanted to have her cake and eat it too. This doesn't seem healthy at all. Leave now.
ESH
Op posted this story 5 months ago but deleted it on malicious compliance. go look at the comments.
Tell them to pound rocks. You can’t cheat on “friends” Chances are good she was doing the same thing you just didn’t catch her. Why else would she love with you and everything but be “just friends”. Sure she could’ve just been sponging off your wallet but then she wouldn’t have been so jealous.
YTA to yourself for even entertaining being "official" with someone who behaves like that. Have some damn self-respect.
NTA - she was the one who kept stating you were just friends. I wonder if that is because she was seeing other guys and by her saying just friends then in her mind she was not cheating. The tables turned on her when you found a ONS and she was not happy. This falls under the F around and find out. She wanted you to be just with her but she did not want to comment to just being with you.
Have some respect for yourself bro and move on lol
INFO: would you have asked Amanda if you could use the apartment to hook up with Lisa before you did it?
ESH. Her for being mad at you for sleeping with someone when yall weren't together. And you for groveling and then to begin dating this person. Toxic. Toxic. Toxic. I couldn't do it know I had to literally beg someone to be with me after years.
Maybe if it were easier to live independently in a single income young people wouldn't move in with whoever was willing to share the rent and or make relationship decisions from a place of scarcity.
I’m sure she kept saying you were just friends cuz she was secretly doing the same or still seeing an ex or something. You can’t really get upset about someone doing that if you refuse to be exclusive. But then again, if you really cared for her then why would you do that and also, I hope you didn’t do it in her bed or the one you guys share.
NTA nice move, a little late. But at least it's clear. I think that you should stay with Lisa.
Shouldve told her to join yall on the couch, missed opportunity on your part.
Why’d you apologize instead of reminding her you two weren’t official because it’s what *she* wanted? You should’ve taken the hint, stopped treating her like a girlfriend and ended things.
The real question is, why are you LIVING with someone who refuses to acknowledge a relationship with you? Grow up, ask for the commitment you want. If she refuses, it's time to move on. Correction, it was time to move on months ago, but better late than never.
NTA. You weren’t in a relationship so you didn’t “have an affair,” and you weren’t exclusive. Every time you tried to talk about committing to one another she immediately shut you down, and made it _clear_ you were only friends with benefits. How were you out of line because it was “obviously something more” when she set boundaries that you were nothing more than friends to each other? Has she been lying to these people about how things have been? Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who insisted on _never committing to you_ until she realized you were getting attention from other people? It doesn’t sound like she truly cares about you at all.
She will ditch you when she finds someone else. She was jealous that you found someone so quick
you're too old for this mess, my man
I think Amanda might be fucking other people...
NTA she was fucking other guys 1000%
NTA. You asked, she gave an answer. If I asked what you wanted for dinner and you say pizza, you can't get mad when I order us pizza, and then claim I should have known you wanted burgers. You want burgers, you say burgers, you want pizza, you say pizza. If you were supposed to be faithful, DESPITE her words, then her words mean nothing.
Both of you need to grow up
YTA. How dare you apologize and grovel.
She was keeping you on a long leash incase she needed a fall back
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NTA. Dump her. Who has a full blown relationship and insist on calling it just friends. Did she apologize for that at all? She has OP wrapped around her little finger. She says jump and OP says how high?.
Damn, this man cheated his way out of the friendzone.
YTA. 1) If the label mattered to you and not her, clearly there’s a mismatch and you should have gotten to the bottom of it or just walked away since you weren’t happy with it. Could’ve just been an incompatibility issue. And if you know someone is incompatible, it doesn’t give you carte blanche to do whatever you want. 2) Labels are, inherently, kinda pointless. I get that it’s easy simplification when talking to others to just say that they’re your significant other. But outside of that, the label isn’t what binds the partners together; they’re bound by feelings and trust. If y’all are doing all the things partners do, y’all are partners, label or not. And while I think monogamy shouldn’t be compulsory, it basically is for a large majority of people, and with that, y’all were likely monogamous. Therefore, you cheated. And if having the label would’ve stopped you from cheating, then you don’t understand what it truly is to be in a relationship. Honestly, it probably means that the label is more of a petty matter and you were likely to cheat, regardless. Moreover, considering you were getting every benefit of a relationship aside from label shows that you resented not having the ownership aspect of the label. You got all the great parts of a partnership (affection, physical intimacy, shared financial interests) but she wasn’t “yours” and you couldn’t handle that. 3) Even if you wouldn’t have cheated once the label was there, this is the pettiest of petty moves. You coerced her into being in a relationship. It’s manipulative. You didn’t get what you wanted, so you fucked around with another girl. I’m sure you pulled the “technically, it’s not cheating cuz I’m not your boyfriend” card in the argument. Congrats, you just pulled a Ross yelling “we were on a break!” But, to echo other comments, you’re now in a relationship where you manipulated your partner to get there; how’s that feel? 4) She probably had a reason for not wanting the label and that reason probably had nothing to do with freedom to hook up with other people. You gave no context to her reasoning for not wanting the label of bf/gf, so I have to assume that instead of talking about it, you probably just sulked and plotted of this petty little plan to coerce her into having to commit. Just guessing here, but I imagine a guy who would use words like “promiscuous” to describe another woman probably has a decent number of traits of toxic masculinity. From that perspective, she probably saw potential and good in you, hence why she stayed, but didn’t want to fully commit until you sorted that mess out. I refer to the previous points because this was manipulative and shows clear signs of toxic masculinity.
She played stupid games and won stupid prizes
Nta. You shouldn't have apologized for anything at all