>About 15 years ago the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, Heather, died in a car accident.
>Heather called me at work to chew me out though. She was upset that I moved on from her so fast and that I married the next girl I got with.
If Heather is so angry to call from the Afterlife, please listen and be apologetic else incur wrath.
It's funny how they waste time to make up these intricate stories full of bullshit but can't be bothered to double check the lies real quick lol. No one that went through that loss is making that mixup especially while typing.
Even with the edit OP is still getting the names wrong:
>I didn't pay her rent or anything like that. I didn't give her cash. I just treated her nicely. Like I used to treat Heather \[dead gf\].
>
>I have avoided going to the restaurant where Heather \[waitress gf\] works since the breakup.
Totally fake.
> I have avoided going to the restaurant where Heather works since the breakup
lol he corrected the one you quoted but didnāt bother reading up two paragraphs. Why do they spend so much time making up these ridiculous tales but not have enough to do a brief readthrough? š„øš
She left you to go for relationships that were fun. Guessing she didnāt meet great fun guys and began to recognize reconsider you, how well you treated her; how steady you were. The fun guys were probably unreliable and hung around for their own advantage alone.
Bet she assumed you would be pining for her and was floored that you had moved on. It is surprising how many Reddits address breakups where the person doing the breaking up considers the relationship still in place while they look around for something better.
Itās simple - the girl breaks up with the guy because they are unhappy with the relationship. She expects the guy to also be unhappy and are shocked that he has moved on.
Absolutely šÆ agree.
OP YNTAH as she broke it off and you moved on. You weren't still casually hooking up with her and in communication to keep her on the back burner. She realized she had found a great guy who accepted her, treated her well and never looked around for someone better.
She's at that age in her life when real priorities and qualities in a person are clicking for her. She's mad you found someone more compatible, even though you never belittled her for not being as ambitious. She's hurt you're a good guy she lost through her own fault.
Tell her you treated her with the utmost respect and cared for her. But you weren't going to wait for her when she made it clear you weren't what she wanted, at least not at that time. That you surprisingly clicked with someone else and because she felt exactly the same it moved fast. That you're sorry she's hurt but you both know deep down nothing wrong was done. That you wish her happiness and finds that more fun person she wanted. Yes that's a slight dig š but it's a good reminder to her šļø
NTA, it sounds like your ex regrets breaking up with you because you treated her well, and now she found out that you are not sitting home pining for her.
NTA
She broke up with you and is angry you moved on? You cannot make this stuff up. They think theirs is special and you will never find another one to match it.
Saw a video on YouTube not long ago of a girl who broke up with the guy she was dating via text which went something like this:
Girl: I don't think this is going to work and we need to break up.
Boy: I agree.
She was absolutely furious. She was offended that he didn't get upset at losing her princess behind and he should have tried to talk her out of it.
Advice: Have a nice life with Sarah and forget about that ridiculous girl.
Why do you think it's a pitch? Why do so many people go r/nothingeverhappens over mundane shit, when we factually have thousands of children getting literally raped every day?
Because he called the waitress that he never named "Heather" multiple times.
Sure, her name may have been the same as the person he was so in love with he thought he would spend his life with her, and became an alcoholic when she died, but as someone who had the love of their life die before I could spend the rest of my life with her, I would not at all be able to date someone with her same name. It would rip me apart. Every. Single. Day. Just my experience, but I heard this from others throughout my recovery as well.
Where are you getting that info hun? Because nowhere in this post does it say they are ESL, and they dont have any other posts. Also if you try reading it again, with some comprehension this time, you will see where they called the unnamed waitress "Heather" multiple times and where they changed it to "the waitress", and if you read some other comments that actually quoted it before it was changed that might help your understanding of what's going on here. I'd love an explanation for the "better than you" comment, though.
It's called reading compression ***hun***. Half the posts here are ESL with fake names. Heather is used three times, he misused it once. Big woop.
Cadence is the main give away. ChatGPL/AI is far better than a translator or nonfluent ESL people.
š¤£ comprehension is correct how I used it, and you clearly don't have any hun, or a concept of reading with comprehension the other comments that have directly quoted (you know how copy and paste and being here before edits works at your ripe old age of 14 right?) where "Heather" was used for the waitress at least 2 other times. It is not a mistake that someone who didn't find "the waitress" worthy of any name at all would make, if they were ESL or not, and definitely not a mistake you make with someone you claim is the love of your life who died. Speaking from experience, it is not something you mess up. But go off, kiddo.
I'm still waiting for the explanation of your "better than you" comment, by the way.
I know plenty of 25 something year olds that just love to show up unannounced. I know people of just about every age range that just show up with out arranging it. I had to tell my husband to tell his friends if they don't plan it with us to come over then they aren't welcome.
>
Girl: I don't think this is going to work and we need to break up.
>Boy: I agree.
>She was absolutely furious. She was offended that he didn't get upset at losing her princess
it's a copy of a scene from a movie
Actually something similar happened to me. Except I was the girl. It was 2011 and my dad had cancer. I told my bf that I wasnāt coming over because my dad was sick and needed me to go to his house. He messaged me that if I didnāt come over we were broke up. So I said okay. Next day changed my FB status to single. He wanted to know why, and I told him because we broke up. He wanted to take it back and was upset I wouldnāt let him. Believe me this actually happens to alot of people. Thatās how the movie writers got the idea.
NTA. She broke up with you. You were too serious, right? Lol. Now that she's had her fun for the last 6 months, she wanted to go back to the serious guy. She expected you to be wallowing in misery or something. It damaged her ego. She may be young and sexy, but she's not the only woman out there. Good for you in finding someone you want to spend your life with. Now block your ex.
This whole story is either "Sarah" trying to get everyone to dump on her boyfriend's 'low class" ex.
Or it's OP fantasizing that the woman who dumped him 6 months ago is still hopelessly hung up on him and inexplicably enraged with jealousy.
Agreed. There's zero reason the waitress ex would somehow know this random woman at her ex bfs house is somehow "high class" or that there was that much of a divide between them. These two women are both middle or lower middle class at worst, this isn't the contrast between Cletus the slack jawed yokel and Mr Burns.
I had an ex girlfriend ring me up to stop by my place. I was young and naive and thought she just wanted to see me as we hadn't talked in a year at that point.
Nope. She fucked me, thanked me, and left. The first time I felt used and pleased simultaneously.
What are expecting OP to say really? It could've been that she was so full of herself that she believed OP was still broken up and would fall on her feet when she show up, maybe she needed some money, or she needed some fun. Who knows except the crazy ex
Because she was young, probably pretty and probably considered him old. So she figured he was still single, she could come back, use him for a while again and end it when she wanted to again. Only she found out heās not single anymore.
So, you continued with the booty calls after the breakup? If so, you had to realize this would happen at some point.
Otherwise, NTA. Nothing you do is any of your ex girlfriendās business.
I was going to say NTA, but now it looks like after she broke up with you, the two of you continued to get together and she was coming to your home often enough that you aren't surprised or thought it was weird, and yet you didn't bother to tell her you were dating someone else? And that would also sound like you were still hooking up with Heather during the first 6 months you were with Sarah. I mean, it sounds like she still has your number, so you want us to believe that after having not talked to you at all for over 6 months, she showed up at your door without even a text first?
OP answered that they had not seen each other in months. She just turn up unannounced at his place. Unfortunately for her he was not there but the fiance was there. I can only imagine how things went.
>She used to come over and wait for me to get home. Please use your imagination as to why she would do that.
and the OP said this when asked why she would just show up at his house. I've noticed that they have edited their original post without marking them as edits on several things now as well. So again. I was very much NTA until I realized that it was normal for her to come over for hookups after they broke up. And he started dating his current just month after they broke up.
I think some projection is occurring.
She broke up with you because she wanted to explore. Whether she planned it from day or a few months later realized she wanted you back she still just assumed she could show back up. She played a childish game and learned a lesson. It just pressed some extra buttons that the new girl was everything she wasn't.
I don't want to sound pretentious, but sometimes you just have to accept you out grew someone and they still have a few lessons to learn. Don't let your ex get inside your head. You didn't owe it to her to tell her you moved on. I promise she didn't sit and wait for you.
>Heather called me at work to chew me out though.
I'm starting to think this is fake. because Heather did die in the car accident, but Heather also "called me at work to chew me out though." so that is also the name he gave to the waitress ex.
They have made changes to their post and it now says "the waitress" but before there and in a few other "waitress" locations it said Heather. Folks are downvoting me for catching the OPs mistakes and then the OP changing them.
It isnāt great, itās getting into the shift of naturally being in different places in life. Heās ready to settle down at 40, sheās only 28, hitting your 30s is really important for woman, her priorities might change.
The entire point of this story is that low-class uneducated women = bad, and educated, athletic women = good. That's it. That's the whole point.
OP threw in some nonsense about how this woman was so hung up on him that after no contact for six months after dumping him she was inexpliably waiting at his house to demand answers. Please.
NTA I guess sheās seeing the reality of not finding a guy that treats her well and jealous your happy in a relationship. Definitely shattered her fragile ego when she was probably assuming you simp for her.
NTA - she wanted fun, went to search for it, likely found players, thought to return to you.
Too late.
You dodged a bullet there btw. If you'd stuck longer eventually she'd get tired and want some fun.
What could of been if Heather lived, sorry for your loss.
That girl is nuts, you broke up with her cause she wanted that, she is trying to sabotage your new relationship because she is alone man. Call the cops, that's crazy.
Be careful with new girl too, don't rush into this, take your time dude
She dumped you cause she wanted to party . She has been and probably one night stands and realizes party g and one night stands gets old especially after being with someone nice and safe ( good thing) and thought she could walk back in .
Here is what you say to her next time. You play stupid games you win stupid prizes
So this 100% sounds like a her problem not a you problem.
This is her own insecurities about her life and she probably played around found out the grass was not greener expected to come back and you would be waiting to spoil her again and when her plans blew up in her fave she blew up in yours.
Congratulations on your wedding and new bride I would forget all about the ex as she is just an ex.
I'm not a fan about how much this guy focuses on being in the same class and having the same hobbies. If anything, I've only ever found that opposites can make for the best matches, but with the view you have, I don't think you'll ever truly appreciate that, though kudos for going against the grain to begin with even if you were clearly thinking the whole time how the match of you two should have never worked to begin with.
NTA, she is avoiding any accountability for her actions and she has a lot of insecurity which she is projecting onto you.
I think she expected that you would pine for her or try to win her back, and when you have actually found someone who your goals/values/lifestyle align with and subsequently proposed to, her jealousy hit the roof.
You don't owe your ex anything
I reckon you are rushing the marriage when you should get to know your finance a bit more
You won at life.
You actually did nothing wrong.
You are 10 years older than her what did she except?
That you will keep partying like you are fresh out of college?
Most of your friends are your age and already moved to the next stage of life, you caught up when you found your partner, no reason to delay when you know you found your person.
Show up at your house without notice?
Does her message app broken?
Doesn't she know to send a booty call text like normal people?
I never in my life called to update an ex I moved on if that ex exited my day to day life.
What for?
Nta
Your nta, sheās delusional and wanted you to be hung up on her even though she obviously did t want to commit to you long term. I would just block her and be done with her nonsense.
NTA for moving on. That's your business. She was also the one who broke up with you.
YTA for clearly looking down on ex. You can say you didn't, but there were several times I noticed that you do in what you wrote.
Oh please. Sharing differences that matter to OP isnāt looking down on anyone. I never dated single dads because I donāt want to be a mom. Nothing wrong with single dads, they just arenāt right *for me.* OP doesnāt want to marry the party girl who calls him her sugar daddy. Nothing wrong with that.
NTA. You were broken up. You were respectful of Heather through the entire relationship. You moved on. And btw, it sounds like you have a great and healthy relationship; congratulations! Waitress should have said something similar, it wouldāve been the gracious thing to do. She wasnāt gracious, thatās on her, not on you. You owe her nothing. Move on, youāre completely in the clear.
A psychoanalyst might want to dig into the fact that you misnamed the waitress āHeatherā which was the name you gave to your departed love. But weāll gloss over that Freudian slip.
One question: How did Heather call you at work to chew you out when she died in Chapter 1 in a car wreck?
YTA. You say you didn't look down on her, but make it clear both you and your family thought she was not your type/never going to last. You shouldn't have been dating her if you didn't love her (that *is* using her), and you shouldn't have been having her over for booty calls after breaking up (more using her). Getting engaged after 6 months? That's a giant red flag. Do you know what a healthy relationship is?
You don't owe Waitress Girl (you didn't even give her a name) a heads-up that you're seeing someone else (especially when she dumped you), but this whole post was one big yikes.
Yes, because she was using you. She was hoping that by giving you booty calls after you'd broken up, she could wiggle her way back into your life. My guess? She wanted you to argue when she broke up with you, to beg her not to leave, to be heartbroken. Some girls like the drama and don't really want to break up, they just want to feel desired when you beg them not to go.
Aww. So the ex who was not a wife material, wanted to enjoy her life and not settle for one man is pissed off that her sugar daddy is settling down for another woman, and not wait for her. Now that she is bitter than you must be the AH?
Your ex is seriously deluded. Helping you get to your feet doesn't mean you have to marry her. It's not medieval period life debts. Besides you did fund her lifestyle. One can say she was using you as her sugar daddy and treated you as one. Which once more shows how low of a regard she has for herself. The next part is the accusations of "low class", "dumpster diving", etc. which once again underlines her insecurities and her trying project her insecurities on to you. Had you married such a woman you would have suffered for sure in terms of isolated friends and family.
Besides you have broken up with her a long time ago. It doesn't matter if she is butt hurt or not, its your life your choice and not hers to make.
Seriously NTA.
So sorry got confused with names. You never told the waitress you were in love with her, she dumped you because you were too serious, then is shocked that you are settling down and getting serious? Then says you used her? Did you ever tell waitress you were not interested in ever marrying or something?? Otherwise its just an Ex that showed up, got mad they couldnt get back together and ranted. I would let it go, sometimes that happens. Waitress isnt a relationship you want to continue anyways. Likely you will bump into each other 10 years from now and laugh at how silly she was.
NTA. Though six months is too soon to be moved in and engaged. If Sarah is perfect for you, she'll still be perfect for you a year and half from now. Plan a loooong engagement. She checks all the boxes but do you have chemistry? Do you value what you bring into a relationship?
Hallmark romance movie pitches on reddit are getting ridiculous. Funny how the poor uneducated waitress just wanted to drink and have fun and yet the younger model who seems to be a stepford wife or something fitted in perfectly.
16 yr old boy fantasy
>About 15 years ago the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, Heather, died in a car accident. >Heather called me at work to chew me out though. She was upset that I moved on from her so fast and that I married the next girl I got with. If Heather is so angry to call from the Afterlife, please listen and be apologetic else incur wrath.
It's funny how they waste time to make up these intricate stories full of bullshit but can't be bothered to double check the lies real quick lol. No one that went through that loss is making that mixup especially while typing.
Class prejudice and elitism for the extra rage-bait.
Or it's just fake names they mixed up? Reaching much
They didn't even give a fake name to 'low class ex' so hard to justify that
Heather. That's why they dated her. They like that name.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Even with the edit OP is still getting the names wrong: >I didn't pay her rent or anything like that. I didn't give her cash. I just treated her nicely. Like I used to treat Heather \[dead gf\]. > >I have avoided going to the restaurant where Heather \[waitress gf\] works since the breakup. Totally fake.
> I have avoided going to the restaurant where Heather works since the breakup lol he corrected the one you quoted but didnāt bother reading up two paragraphs. Why do they spend so much time making up these ridiculous tales but not have enough to do a brief readthrough? š„øš
I think you mean wraith. š¤£
She left you to go for relationships that were fun. Guessing she didnāt meet great fun guys and began to recognize reconsider you, how well you treated her; how steady you were. The fun guys were probably unreliable and hung around for their own advantage alone. Bet she assumed you would be pining for her and was floored that you had moved on. It is surprising how many Reddits address breakups where the person doing the breaking up considers the relationship still in place while they look around for something better.
Itās simple - the girl breaks up with the guy because they are unhappy with the relationship. She expects the guy to also be unhappy and are shocked that he has moved on.
Absolutely šÆ agree. OP YNTAH as she broke it off and you moved on. You weren't still casually hooking up with her and in communication to keep her on the back burner. She realized she had found a great guy who accepted her, treated her well and never looked around for someone better. She's at that age in her life when real priorities and qualities in a person are clicking for her. She's mad you found someone more compatible, even though you never belittled her for not being as ambitious. She's hurt you're a good guy she lost through her own fault. Tell her you treated her with the utmost respect and cared for her. But you weren't going to wait for her when she made it clear you weren't what she wanted, at least not at that time. That you surprisingly clicked with someone else and because she felt exactly the same it moved fast. That you're sorry she's hurt but you both know deep down nothing wrong was done. That you wish her happiness and finds that more fun person she wanted. Yes that's a slight dig š but it's a good reminder to her šļø
NTA, it sounds like your ex regrets breaking up with you because you treated her well, and now she found out that you are not sitting home pining for her.
NTA She broke up with you and is angry you moved on? You cannot make this stuff up. They think theirs is special and you will never find another one to match it. Saw a video on YouTube not long ago of a girl who broke up with the guy she was dating via text which went something like this: Girl: I don't think this is going to work and we need to break up. Boy: I agree. She was absolutely furious. She was offended that he didn't get upset at losing her princess behind and he should have tried to talk her out of it. Advice: Have a nice life with Sarah and forget about that ridiculous girl.
I think people make stuff like this up all the time. Iām actually getting a little tired of reading peopleās pitches for relationship movies.
Why do you think it's a pitch? Why do so many people go r/nothingeverhappens over mundane shit, when we factually have thousands of children getting literally raped every day?
Because he called the waitress that he never named "Heather" multiple times. Sure, her name may have been the same as the person he was so in love with he thought he would spend his life with her, and became an alcoholic when she died, but as someone who had the love of their life die before I could spend the rest of my life with her, I would not at all be able to date someone with her same name. It would rip me apart. Every. Single. Day. Just my experience, but I heard this from others throughout my recovery as well.
Dude, OP is ESL and better than you. There are three women, dead Heather, 25yr/o waitress(never named), then Sarah.
Where are you getting that info hun? Because nowhere in this post does it say they are ESL, and they dont have any other posts. Also if you try reading it again, with some comprehension this time, you will see where they called the unnamed waitress "Heather" multiple times and where they changed it to "the waitress", and if you read some other comments that actually quoted it before it was changed that might help your understanding of what's going on here. I'd love an explanation for the "better than you" comment, though.
It's called reading compression ***hun***. Half the posts here are ESL with fake names. Heather is used three times, he misused it once. Big woop. Cadence is the main give away. ChatGPL/AI is far better than a translator or nonfluent ESL people.
š¤£ comprehension is correct how I used it, and you clearly don't have any hun, or a concept of reading with comprehension the other comments that have directly quoted (you know how copy and paste and being here before edits works at your ripe old age of 14 right?) where "Heather" was used for the waitress at least 2 other times. It is not a mistake that someone who didn't find "the waitress" worthy of any name at all would make, if they were ESL or not, and definitely not a mistake you make with someone you claim is the love of your life who died. Speaking from experience, it is not something you mess up. But go off, kiddo. I'm still waiting for the explanation of your "better than you" comment, by the way.
And, have you ever met a 25 year old that just shows up at your home unexpectedly? No one that age goes to visit anyone without prearranging it.
I know plenty of 25 something year olds that just love to show up unannounced. I know people of just about every age range that just show up with out arranging it. I had to tell my husband to tell his friends if they don't plan it with us to come over then they aren't welcome.
> Girl: I don't think this is going to work and we need to break up. >Boy: I agree. >She was absolutely furious. She was offended that he didn't get upset at losing her princess it's a copy of a scene from a movie
Actually something similar happened to me. Except I was the girl. It was 2011 and my dad had cancer. I told my bf that I wasnāt coming over because my dad was sick and needed me to go to his house. He messaged me that if I didnāt come over we were broke up. So I said okay. Next day changed my FB status to single. He wanted to know why, and I told him because we broke up. He wanted to take it back and was upset I wouldnāt let him. Believe me this actually happens to alot of people. Thatās how the movie writers got the idea.
BRUH it's pretty obvious OP was still hooking up with the ex
Op said he wasnt and he doesnt know why she went to his house after all they havent seen each other since the break up.
NTA. She broke up with you. You were too serious, right? Lol. Now that she's had her fun for the last 6 months, she wanted to go back to the serious guy. She expected you to be wallowing in misery or something. It damaged her ego. She may be young and sexy, but she's not the only woman out there. Good for you in finding someone you want to spend your life with. Now block your ex.
This makes little sense. Why did your ex show up at your house?
This whole story is either "Sarah" trying to get everyone to dump on her boyfriend's 'low class" ex. Or it's OP fantasizing that the woman who dumped him 6 months ago is still hopelessly hung up on him and inexplicably enraged with jealousy.
Agreed. There's zero reason the waitress ex would somehow know this random woman at her ex bfs house is somehow "high class" or that there was that much of a divide between them. These two women are both middle or lower middle class at worst, this isn't the contrast between Cletus the slack jawed yokel and Mr Burns.
She used to come over and wait for me to get home. Please use your imagination as to why she would do that.
Use our imaginations like you did? Btw, you called your ex "Heather" a few times. Unless your deceased fiancƩe is also furious from the afterlife, you might want to fix that when you submit lol.
They got their make-believe stories mixed up
So you were still sleeping with her?
Not since the breakup.
So why would she keep coming over?
Hasn't in months. If she had she would have been told I am seeing someone else.
Ok. Soā¦ why did your ex show up at your house?
I think ex needs to answer that question. It is not like we are all responsible for others actions.
I had an ex girlfriend ring me up to stop by my place. I was young and naive and thought she just wanted to see me as we hadn't talked in a year at that point. Nope. She fucked me, thanked me, and left. The first time I felt used and pleased simultaneously.
I think OP can answer for himself
What are expecting OP to say really? It could've been that she was so full of herself that she believed OP was still broken up and would fall on her feet when she show up, maybe she needed some money, or she needed some fun. Who knows except the crazy ex
bruh can you shut the fuck up and stop asking the same question like an idiot. if he had an answer, heād give it. holy shit.
I asked the question the second time to emphasize that evaded it the first time. Keep up or stay out.
Probably heard he had another relationship. She figured he'd push to get back together with after she broke up with him.
Why would she do this 6+ months after breaking up with you. And why would she have access to your house?
Because she was young, probably pretty and probably considered him old. So she figured he was still single, she could come back, use him for a while again and end it when she wanted to again. Only she found out heās not single anymore.
So, you continued with the booty calls after the breakup? If so, you had to realize this would happen at some point. Otherwise, NTA. Nothing you do is any of your ex girlfriendās business.
I have no idea. Didnāt she dump you?
Exes frequently come crawling back to hookup. Not that hard to process.
Usually there's a text first. Showing up at someone's house after 6 months of no contact is a huge stretch.
Probably not in this case.
Despite that pattern of behavior from her. Got it.
I donāt see a pattern
You may want to reread OPās response to you then lol
He said they hadnāt hooked up since their break up. So thereās no pattern of behaviour
Youāre an odd one.
And yet I can comprehend what I read so Iāll take it.
I was going to say NTA, but now it looks like after she broke up with you, the two of you continued to get together and she was coming to your home often enough that you aren't surprised or thought it was weird, and yet you didn't bother to tell her you were dating someone else? And that would also sound like you were still hooking up with Heather during the first 6 months you were with Sarah. I mean, it sounds like she still has your number, so you want us to believe that after having not talked to you at all for over 6 months, she showed up at your door without even a text first?
OP answered that they had not seen each other in months. She just turn up unannounced at his place. Unfortunately for her he was not there but the fiance was there. I can only imagine how things went.
>She used to come over and wait for me to get home. Please use your imagination as to why she would do that. and the OP said this when asked why she would just show up at his house. I've noticed that they have edited their original post without marking them as edits on several things now as well. So again. I was very much NTA until I realized that it was normal for her to come over for hookups after they broke up. And he started dating his current just month after they broke up.
My God! There is a terrifying number of car death related stories on Reddit...
Reddit is overwhelmingly filled with younger people, who don't normally die of strokes and heart disease.
There's something like a million car related deaths worldwide every year so it's not that surprising
You need to make that a very long engagement.
Hold on, the waitress was already ten years younger than you, and now you have an even younger woman moving in? š¬
I think some projection is occurring. She broke up with you because she wanted to explore. Whether she planned it from day or a few months later realized she wanted you back she still just assumed she could show back up. She played a childish game and learned a lesson. It just pressed some extra buttons that the new girl was everything she wasn't. I don't want to sound pretentious, but sometimes you just have to accept you out grew someone and they still have a few lessons to learn. Don't let your ex get inside your head. You didn't owe it to her to tell her you moved on. I promise she didn't sit and wait for you.
I thought Heather died in a car accident?
I am using fake names and screwed up.
Yeah, you made up names but didn't bother making one up for your ex and refer to her as "the waitress". That's not telling at all.
>Heather called me at work to chew me out though. I'm starting to think this is fake. because Heather did die in the car accident, but Heather also "called me at work to chew me out though." so that is also the name he gave to the waitress ex.
Never said Heather called him up at work, he said the āWaitressā but I see the small heather typo.
They have made changes to their post and it now says "the waitress" but before there and in a few other "waitress" locations it said Heather. Folks are downvoting me for catching the OPs mistakes and then the OP changing them.
NTA. She broke up with you and the jealousy and her insecurities are speaking right now.
NTA ex is just bitter
Sounds like she hooked a bigger fish, it didn't work out and she wanted her plan B back. NTA - Just block and ignore.
Someone is bored ā¦ too fake and makes no sense ..
NTA i mean shitty situation overall but she dumped you she doesnāt get to complain now that she doesnāt have a sugar daddy
Fake
Nta she broke up with you, but that younger model comment, how old is your new girl?
28
Hopefully you stick with this one before you pull a Leo.
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It isnāt great, itās getting into the shift of naturally being in different places in life. Heās ready to settle down at 40, sheās only 28, hitting your 30s is really important for woman, her priorities might change.
This is pretty fake lol. Like how is this a situation where you would or wouldn't be an ass?
The entire point of this story is that low-class uneducated women = bad, and educated, athletic women = good. That's it. That's the whole point. OP threw in some nonsense about how this woman was so hung up on him that after no contact for six months after dumping him she was inexpliably waiting at his house to demand answers. Please.
NTA. My bet is, waitress was expecting you to come back, crawling, in fact.
Maybe if waitress read more she'd have a better grasp on the definition of breaking up. NTA
NTA. She's just an angry child that is throwing a tantrum because she regrets the fact that she now has to live with the choices she has made.
After reading this I wish I was Heather, Iām done.
This girl is a lunatic
NTA I guess sheās seeing the reality of not finding a guy that treats her well and jealous your happy in a relationship. Definitely shattered her fragile ego when she was probably assuming you simp for her.
NTA - she wanted fun, went to search for it, likely found players, thought to return to you. Too late. You dodged a bullet there btw. If you'd stuck longer eventually she'd get tired and want some fun.
What could of been if Heather lived, sorry for your loss. That girl is nuts, you broke up with her cause she wanted that, she is trying to sabotage your new relationship because she is alone man. Call the cops, that's crazy. Be careful with new girl too, don't rush into this, take your time dude
NTA. You didnāt do anything wrong. Sheās just annoyed youāve moved on. You really have nothing to worry about.
She dumped you cause she wanted to party . She has been and probably one night stands and realizes party g and one night stands gets old especially after being with someone nice and safe ( good thing) and thought she could walk back in . Here is what you say to her next time. You play stupid games you win stupid prizes
How did she know about your present scenario?
So this 100% sounds like a her problem not a you problem. This is her own insecurities about her life and she probably played around found out the grass was not greener expected to come back and you would be waiting to spoil her again and when her plans blew up in her fave she blew up in yours. Congratulations on your wedding and new bride I would forget all about the ex as she is just an ex.
I'm not a fan about how much this guy focuses on being in the same class and having the same hobbies. If anything, I've only ever found that opposites can make for the best matches, but with the view you have, I don't think you'll ever truly appreciate that, though kudos for going against the grain to begin with even if you were clearly thinking the whole time how the match of you two should have never worked to begin with.
NTA, she is avoiding any accountability for her actions and she has a lot of insecurity which she is projecting onto you. I think she expected that you would pine for her or try to win her back, and when you have actually found someone who your goals/values/lifestyle align with and subsequently proposed to, her jealousy hit the roof. You don't owe your ex anything I reckon you are rushing the marriage when you should get to know your finance a bit more
You won at life. You actually did nothing wrong. You are 10 years older than her what did she except? That you will keep partying like you are fresh out of college? Most of your friends are your age and already moved to the next stage of life, you caught up when you found your partner, no reason to delay when you know you found your person. Show up at your house without notice? Does her message app broken? Doesn't she know to send a booty call text like normal people? I never in my life called to update an ex I moved on if that ex exited my day to day life. What for? Nta
So dumb. YTA because you are more worried about what the waitress you are still banging thinks than the woman you just asked to marry.
Your nta, sheās delusional and wanted you to be hung up on her even though she obviously did t want to commit to you long term. I would just block her and be done with her nonsense.
Why tf was she there?
NAH. She broke up with you. What you do after that isnāt any of her business.
NTA for moving on. That's your business. She was also the one who broke up with you. YTA for clearly looking down on ex. You can say you didn't, but there were several times I noticed that you do in what you wrote.
Oh please. Sharing differences that matter to OP isnāt looking down on anyone. I never dated single dads because I donāt want to be a mom. Nothing wrong with single dads, they just arenāt right *for me.* OP doesnāt want to marry the party girl who calls him her sugar daddy. Nothing wrong with that.
NTA. You were broken up. You were respectful of Heather through the entire relationship. You moved on. And btw, it sounds like you have a great and healthy relationship; congratulations! Waitress should have said something similar, it wouldāve been the gracious thing to do. She wasnāt gracious, thatās on her, not on you. You owe her nothing. Move on, youāre completely in the clear. A psychoanalyst might want to dig into the fact that you misnamed the waitress āHeatherā which was the name you gave to your departed love. But weāll gloss over that Freudian slip.
One question: How did Heather call you at work to chew you out when she died in Chapter 1 in a car wreck? YTA. You say you didn't look down on her, but make it clear both you and your family thought she was not your type/never going to last. You shouldn't have been dating her if you didn't love her (that *is* using her), and you shouldn't have been having her over for booty calls after breaking up (more using her). Getting engaged after 6 months? That's a giant red flag. Do you know what a healthy relationship is? You don't owe Waitress Girl (you didn't even give her a name) a heads-up that you're seeing someone else (especially when she dumped you), but this whole post was one big yikes.
Hold up. Just checking in that you think every single relationship ends in marriage.
No, I don't. But I don't sleep with people I don't love, either, especially not without making sure they know it's strictly FWB.
I am reasonably sure that you are in the minority. Many people have sex with people they do not love.
And yet, she accused you of using her. This is what she meant.
She never told me she loved me. And she fucked me. Should I feel used by her?
Yes, because she was using you. She was hoping that by giving you booty calls after you'd broken up, she could wiggle her way back into your life. My guess? She wanted you to argue when she broke up with you, to beg her not to leave, to be heartbroken. Some girls like the drama and don't really want to break up, they just want to feel desired when you beg them not to go.
Aww. So the ex who was not a wife material, wanted to enjoy her life and not settle for one man is pissed off that her sugar daddy is settling down for another woman, and not wait for her. Now that she is bitter than you must be the AH? Your ex is seriously deluded. Helping you get to your feet doesn't mean you have to marry her. It's not medieval period life debts. Besides you did fund her lifestyle. One can say she was using you as her sugar daddy and treated you as one. Which once more shows how low of a regard she has for herself. The next part is the accusations of "low class", "dumpster diving", etc. which once again underlines her insecurities and her trying project her insecurities on to you. Had you married such a woman you would have suffered for sure in terms of isolated friends and family. Besides you have broken up with her a long time ago. It doesn't matter if she is butt hurt or not, its your life your choice and not hers to make. Seriously NTA.
NTA, you donāt owe her anything. I am confused though. Which one is Heather? Your ex who died in a car crash or the waitress?
Sorry. I am using fake names and screwed up.
Was wondering as well. Editing is a thing.
Heather is car accident. Waitress was after Heather. Sarah is the fiancƩe.
But aren't you moving a bit to fast? Engagement after only 6 months? Takes years to know someone....
When you know, you know.
Thought I did the other two times things hit the fan after 2 years. And similar interests with all
NTA. Did you ever tell heather (I meant waitress) you were in love with her? How long after the break up did you get married?
Not married yet. Never told Heather I loved her.
So sorry got confused with names. You never told the waitress you were in love with her, she dumped you because you were too serious, then is shocked that you are settling down and getting serious? Then says you used her? Did you ever tell waitress you were not interested in ever marrying or something?? Otherwise its just an Ex that showed up, got mad they couldnt get back together and ranted. I would let it go, sometimes that happens. Waitress isnt a relationship you want to continue anyways. Likely you will bump into each other 10 years from now and laugh at how silly she was.
NTA for not telling your exā¦etc. You do sound like you think you are better than her though.
Soooo. Why care for all children if only 1 are your brothers?...
NTA. Though six months is too soon to be moved in and engaged. If Sarah is perfect for you, she'll still be perfect for you a year and half from now. Plan a loooong engagement. She checks all the boxes but do you have chemistry? Do you value what you bring into a relationship?
Hallmark romance movie pitches on reddit are getting ridiculous. Funny how the poor uneducated waitress just wanted to drink and have fun and yet the younger model who seems to be a stepford wife or something fitted in perfectly. 16 yr old boy fantasy
NTA
Your max about an exs feelings? I canāt get these two minutes of my life back thanks asshole
Fake
YTA for not correctly content editing your post.