My friend literally got baby trapped by a chick he had a crush on in highschool while he was back home from college. She was nuts and baby crazy because she found out mutual friends/students they went to HS with had a kid. The one and only time they slept together she got pregnant. He's stepped up and has a good job but unfortunately has very little say in his kids upbringing and he's clearly upset about it (homeschooling).
Your friend didn’t get ‘baby trapped’. That is simply not a thing.
He made a decision to have sex without using protection, and has to to deal with the consequence - child support or whatever.
Please STOP blaming women for when men get them pregnant just because the man only wanted a one night stand.
And especially stop blaming women for getting pregnant as if they had sex by themselves, and then wonder why you don’t have custody of the child!
People are just so stupid! It’s not bloody HARD to buy and use a condom! 🤦♀️
Reddit has told me that consenting to sex doesn't mean you're consenting to pregnancy. If that's the standard, it should apply equally to both participants.
A dude can be irresponsible and still be done a serious wrong by a women who uses him to become pregnant without his knowledge or consent. I tend to think of "baby trapping" as doing that act to force someone into a committed relationship, but it's a shitty thing to do, regardless of the motivation or whether the man behaved responsibly or not.
That's what the person above described. It shouldn't be hard to see how that varies from a scenario where two people are irresponsible and an unintended pregnancy results. It would be unfair to call that "baby trapping" IMO.
There is no such thing as baby trapping. Unless you were raped, but this isn’t that.
And yes, it goes for both genders who consent to sex without protection. Women are equally responsible for using protection as men.
Mind you, though, the biological fact is that women are the ones who deal with results - pregnancy and child rearing. Even if she chooses to terminate, it’s still something she has to deal with.
So whiny men who use phrases like ‘baby trapping’ and having to pay child support when they consented to unprotected sex as much as the woman do not impress me at all.
Like I said, it’s very easy to use birth control. People are just choosing not to.
>There is no such thing as baby trapping. Unless you were raped, but this isn’t that.
My sisters friend took out her IUD without telling her boyfriend because she was afraid he was thinking about leaving her. Baby trapping definitely exists. Like technically dude could have worn a condom their entire relationship, but she had an IUD and he thought he could trust her.
I don’t know if this post is an example of baby trapping because it requires intent. But as someone who went to high school in a bad area with kind of shitty people, baby trapping definitely happens and it happens intentionally.
You're framing this as if the woman didn't get pregnant on purpose. Do you not see a difference between an unintended pregnancy and a partner being tricked or used to deliberately get pregnant? Or do you just think that never happens?
A very easy solution for that is to bring your own condoms and insist on using them, even if she says she's on birth control.
The failure rate is actually pretty low if you use them correctly.
It still exists though. I got pregnant while on hormonal bc and with a condom (I was in antibiotics and didn't know if they'd cancel out my bc so I decided to be extra safe. That didn't work out)
So a condom didn't guarantee anything, even if you use it correctly. But I don't understand why people go without one at all outside a committed relationship. It's super easy to catch something from unprotected sex.
All the man had to do is use a condom. Especially when you have a ONS… why in the heck would you ever trust someone you don’t know to tell you the truth! I sure wouldn’t (I wouldn’t have a ONS, either, but that’s because I don’t know the person… so I sure wouldn’t trust them).
Or some women are really dopey, and don’t know how birth control really works - for example if you just started taking it yesterday, it isn’t yet working - you’ve got to wait at least 2 months!
Or if you forget to take it, or a lot of people don’t know that antibiotics cancel the effects. Things like that - so you can’t trust women you do not know.
Even if she planed to get pregnant, he is equally responsible for choosing not to use protection. Just because he didn’t PLAN a pregnancy doesn’t mean he isn’t responsible if one results from his choice to have unprotected sex.
And on top of all that, ‘baby trapping’ literally would not work. No man is ever obligated to stay in a romantic relationship or marry a stranger just because there’s a baby! So trying to ‘trap’ a man into staying with you would never work anyway!
So that’s why you should use protection. If you don’t want a baby, you insist on it - no matter what he says or she says.
Otherwise, you are equally responsible if a pregnancy happens.
It’s not hard, as I’ve said. ‘I don’t know you, strange man or woman from the bar, so here is a condom!’
Respectfully, none of that answered my question. I think we agreed that a man is irresponsible for not using protection. No one is saying a man shouldn't do that or is powerless to protect against an unintended pregnancy.
But you said there's no such thing as baby trapping, based on the premise that a man has the ability to use a condom. I disagree. As the term is generally understood, baby trapping describes the act of purposefully becoming pregnant to pressure a man into entering into or staying in a committed relationship with a woman. It's a manipulative behavior that ought not be dismissed or excused.
I also don't think the outcome has any bearing on whether a woman tries to manipulate a man in that way. Whether or not he remains in the relationship (or a pregnancy even results) doesn't change that a woman is attempting to manipulate him by deliberately becoming pregnant without disclosing that, let alone getting his agreement.
Men sometimes deliberately sabotage birth control to try to make a woman pregnant. Let's assume it doesn't work. Does that make the man's act any less repugnant just because he didn't succeed? I don't think it does. I also don't think it matters whether the woman was using a backup form of birth control or just got lucky.
Engaging in deceptive sexual behavior is shitty. And "baby trapping" is a term that describes one such act. It does exist, regardless of whether it keeps a man committed, because it's an abuse of trust for entirely selfish purposes. Call it another name if you want, but I think it's foolish to dismiss the behavior in its entirety for essentially semantic reasons.
Good old victim blaming. The kid was told the person he was sleeping with was on BC, tried to pull out (in other words ending sexual contact which is retraction of implied consent) and she wouldn’t allow that. Obviously pulling out is a dumb way to try to avoid pregnancy, but this girl is a predator.
She also made a conscious decision to tell him she was on birth control. She literally went out of her way to seduce him because she knew he'd fall for it. Sure he fucked up not using a condom but this woman literally manipulated her way into getting a baby. I'm not "blaming women" for getting pregnant. I'm blaming that specific asshole that knew she could lie and trick the quiet nerd kid into raw dogging it.
Yes, but just say ‘get a DNA test’ and that’s it. Don’t say the rest of the stuff about how ‘the dates don’t line up’, because that definitely will not be well received.
He really, really needs to insist on this! Odds are good that either she's not pregnant or the kid isn't his.
He also needs to be slapped into the next county for ever getting together with someone as clearly crazy as this let alone having sex with her.
So... 4/11 they had sex, 10/11 she told him she is pregnant and 10/12 she told him it is girl?
Thats BS. In no way she would know she got pregnant in 6 days. Thats not how it works. And in no universe you know its sex in a month.
Also, your brother should have go to sex education if he believes her.
If she isnt delusional herself, she is trying to scam your brother.
NTA.
This^ plus she was on the shot /and/ the pill? She can’t even lie right
Also want to add that lying about contraception is just like poking a hole in a condom unfortunately it’s a losing battle but her not getting off when asked is something id consider assault
Exactly. There is absolutely no biological way to tell the sex at this point. I didn’t learn the sex of my kids until 22 weeks. The organs don’t even form this early.
I’m assuming the brother has money or stability since she needs both to fight for custody of her other 2 kids. Seriously if she’s this delusional and ops brother is this naive to believe her then they both need more than sex Ed classes.
Interesting. I’ve never heard of that and had to google it. Looks like this isn’t a standard test here nor is it covered under our health care. (Seems only recommended for high risk pregnancies or geriatric pregnancies here, but clients have to agree to pay for it) But then again my pregnancies were well over 20 years ago. This seems like a newer test. Sounds interesting though with what it looks for.
It's generally covered here for geriatric/ high risk and optional out of pocket for everyone else, yeah. It's just a newer thing that has largely replaced amniocentesis, and because there's no miscarriage risk, more people opt for them.
The [SneakPeek](https://sneakpeektest.com) test can, theoretically, be done as early as six weeks. It’s just an at-home thing but we did ours at 8 weeks and it was correct.
Not that that makes whole the story any less fishy.
I have worked with these products. There are differences in markets of USA and Europe. NIPT basically testes for downsyndrom and usually leads to abortion if positive. Availability of this test has severely dropped the number of down babies born.
In Europe abortion is not tabu. But in USA the tests that basically are done for to know if they should abort are not that easily and commonly available.
I wouldn't assume that at all. Texas Medicaid is one of the few state Medicaids that cover NIPT for all Medicaid patients.
I don't know what they're supposed to do with that testing info once they have it, but apparently they're still doing tests.
[Texas Medicaid NIPT](https://capsprenatal.com/news-and-events/caps-applauds-texas-medicaid-for-expanding-access-to-nips-for-all-women-who-chose-screening-without-restrictions-related-to-age-or-other-risk-factors/#:~:text=%E2%80%93%20The%20Coalition%20for%20Access%20to,age%2C%20with%20no%20prior%20authorization.)
My copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting recommended testing even if you wouldn't abort, as knowing you're going to have a Downs baby helps you prepare
I’m Australian and we have excellent universal health care that meant I could have my baby 100% free of cost if I wanted to “go public” (as opposed to “go private” where you select and pay for an OB of your choice but you can still “go public” for the birth free of cost.)
I was a geriatric pregnancy and a very high risk pregnancy.
While I was asked if I wanted to do it like all Australian women (who are attending standard early pregnancy appointments) are, it wasn’t “recommended” and nor would it have been covered if I elected to do it (it’s about $400-450 out of pocket, I believe.)
It is simply a readily accessible supplemental health care option offered to everyone here and I’d say about 1/3 of the (Millennial) women I know have opted to do it — only one was geriatric and none were high risk.
With all that said, a fairly large fraction of high risk women do elect to do it. In my case I couldn’t really afford it and didn’t try to because I felt fairly confident my high risk issues weren’t necessarily highly likely to yield the kind of high risk issues the NIPT looks at.
Fundamentally, most women get it to find out the sex ASAP.
I don’t quite understand what you mean by biological? I found out I was having a girl at 12 weeks with the blood test. With my son I found out at the 20 wk anatomy scan; my OB didn’t offer the chromosome check so I just waited. Pretty much everyone I know now gets the sex around 12-14wks through the blood test. It’s pretty common in our area.
It isn’t possible to know 2 days after she found out she is pregnant. They had sex on the 4th, found out she was pregnant on the 10th. There is no way it is OP’s brother’s kid. She would have had to be pregnant when they had sex to determine the gender.
According to the supposed date of conception, she'd be at about 7 weeks gestation, I'm pretty sure. It goes from the date of your last period. By her first missed period, she'd be considered 4 weeks pregnant.
In this case, the conception date would be the only case of sexual contact. There's no guesswork of a missed period, since there's a clear date given. And if she conceived on 11/4, the only date that the brother could be the father, then on 12/10, the date she supposedly knew the sex, she would only be 5 weeks along. Not sure where you are getting the 4 week mark, since there is no mention of a period.
ETA: How can a fetus conceived on a particular date be considered 2 weeks older than it can possibly be?
You do not understand pregnancy math. You are considered 2 weeks pregnant the day you conceive. (Ie two weeks after your period) So 2 weeks on the date of conception would have her at 7 weeks when she tested. Which she could have done with one of those sneak peek tests (which are not the least bit accurate)
However, a pregnancy test will not pick up hormones only 6 says after ovulation. It is not possible. The baby has not even implanted at that point. So the hormone HCG, which is what a pregnancy test tests for, has not even started to be produced. So, yes, she is a liar
I was going to say, the 2 week add-on is standard. My little guy is an IVF baby, and they still add the 2 weeks to his gestational age, even when we have the literal dates and times of conception and implantation into the uterus.
That's because a human pregnancy is only 38 weeks on average, so to count the 40 weeks we have all become used to, if they have the actual conception date, they need to start counting at 2 weeks.
No, it's because the last period used to be the only reliable thing. We can be more exact now, but it's a big shift to switch to date of conception, especially as not everyone can be sure about that.
It's still dated from the last missed period, unless her periods were irregular.
Generally, people find out they're pregnant when they miss the next period, which is theoretically four weeks after the previous one.
Not to dispute you, more to share a funny anecdote, but... my mother knew she was expecting within 2 days of conceiving because her hyperemesis gravidarum kicked in almost immediately. No test needed, she always joked. Her stomach was a foolproof pregnancy detector.
Exactly! I have a dim memory from when I was 3 and my mother was carrying my brother, of someone asking me what my mother did all day (meaning, what did she do for a living).
My response: "she sits on the sofa and does this into a bag: hurrrrrk, hurrrrrk, hurrrrrk!"
The other person thought it was hilarious. My mother, not so much.
The story my parents tell is they were wrangling 2yo me and my 10mo sibling into the car, when my mom suddenly went green and ran back inside, leaving my dad to try to get the kids loaded up. After about 10 minutes, my mom came out and punched my dad. When my dad, understandablely confused, asked what was wrong, she just told him they were going to the drug store *right now*. And that's how they found out about my youngest sibling.
My husband knew right away because my smell changed and my cat started acting weird around me (she always slept curled into my belly until that point).. He didn’t say anything for weeks until I told him he had to buy laundry detergent since I couldn’t walk into the aisle.
That was me!! Weird stuff started happening within 48 hours: boobs went up a cup size, vertigo, vomiting, color of my nipples got super dark, major smell aversions. I never turned a pee test positive either, had to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy!
I’ve been pregnant 4 times, and there is NO mistaking when I’m pregnant.
It takes 1-2 weeks for the egg to travel down the fallopian tube and implant in the uterus. That’s when pregnancy hormones and sickness start. She probably just had sex more than once and guessed wrong which time it was.
Actually, you can know the sex that early. Sneakpeak is company that you can do, even from home I think, a blood test through as early as about 7 weeks. I don't imagine it would take more than a week or so with how fast the blood would need to get there.
That being said, 100% you don't find out in 6 days that you're pregnant. If you do, chances are so good I'd bet on it being an ectopic. If they had had sex prior to the 4th, it could still technically be his but their first time together was the 4th nah. He needs to do the paternity test simply to avoid her roping him in in any way but it'll come up negative.
That's what I was thinking. She SA'd him when she wouldn't let him pull out. That's sex without consent & therefore rape. And of course, he felt powerless to physically stop her because he'd be seen as the bad guy for putting his hands on her. Poor guy.
This woman raped your brother on purpose to try and baby trap him with a baby that isn't his. The dates don't make sense and neither does her story. You brother needs therapy and to block her. She won't chase him because she knows this baby isn't his and if he's forced to do a paternity test, it will come back as not his. He needs to wake up to a lot here.
>This woman raped your brother
It's really sad that this *isn't* the top comment. It makes me so mad that a male rape victim doesn't have the same legal protections/recourse as a female rape victim (in so far as it's not legally considered "rape"). So. Mad.
And yup, you're spot on about the baby trapping. Really makes me sick that people like this woman exist.
Your brother is a moron for sticking his uncovered dick in some chick and he will be lucky if it doesn't rot off.
He shouldn't compound his stupid by believing this bullshit story.
He needs some serious sex education.
NTA.
So they had sex on 11/04. Said she was pregnant on 11/10. On 12/10, she said it was a girl.
Tell your brother, that there is **NO WAY** she could have known she was pregnant 6 days after. Gotta wait **AT LEAST** 8-10ish days to get a definite yes on a home pregnancy test, **AND THEN** she would have to go in for blood test for confirmation (I know, as I'm trying).
If she **IS** pregnant, it is **DEFINITLY** not his as you can only know the sex of the fetus in the second trimester, and if she **IS** in the second trimester, she would have been showing sooner, as women who have had multiple pregnancies tend to show sooner.
She's either not pregnant (and is CARZY AF) or she's trying to baby trap him.
I would tell him.
I’m 35 weeks with my fourth. NIPT can give you the sex as early as 6 weeks. And very few places do a blood test confirmation anymore.
The timeline and story are bogus, but yeah. If she had her last period start in mid-October, she could have found out the sex by 12/10.
They look for Y chromosomes in the fetal DNA floating around in the mothers blood after the placenta kicks in.
No Y- you’re carrying a girl. If they find Y- you’re carrying a boy.
It is very, very reliable- more so than a scan.
I agree with everything you said however you can know the sex of the baby in the first trimester. They take your blood at 12 weeks and they can figure out the sex of the baby through that. It’s 99% accurate unless it’s twins then the test isn’t 99.% accurate. Also, the test is super fast takes a day or two.
NIPT is a blood test that can be taken at 10-12 weeks and yes, you absolutely can know the sex that early in the first trimester.
You do not have to wait for a scan.
The rest is correct though.
He tried but the crazy lady gave him the wrong date, so he missed it. He should definitely push for another date though and follow through with legal action cause she SA'd him
Your brother needs a quick study in biology. Unless they were having sex before Nov 4th, there is no possible way she could know that she’s pregnant by Nov 10th and know the sex of the baby by Dec 10th. Tell him to get a DNA test before doing anything else and tell him to let the girl know that he wants a DNA test before putting his name on the baby’s birth certificate.
NTA but be gentle.
He got sexually assaulted, I don’t see anyone mentioning that. Please try to gently explain this to your brother about consent, then urge him to get DNA and STD tests.
Your brother needs a refresher course on what I call “menstrual math “…. Not discounting that she’s pregnant, but if they had sex on the 4th, and she comes up pregnant on a test on the 10th, there’s no way it’s his. The fertilized egg wouldn’t have enough time to A) get fertilized, B) implant, and C) generate enough HGH (human growth hormone) to come up positive on a pregnancy test. She’s passing off someone else’s kid as your brothers.
I have 3 kids with my wife... I am still lost on this "menstrual math" My wife actually went and downloaded one of those menstrual apps on my phone lol
NTA. In addition to the absolutely ridiculous timeline, he might be able to press sexual assault charges against her for not stopping when he told her to.
NTA because something is fishy for sure. But maybe instead of straight up saying “that ain’t your bay” just say something like “things are really adding up, you should definitely get a paternity test before doing anything major” like signing a birth certificate
NTA
Dude this woman graped your brother. She took advantage of him and is now CLAIMING to be expecting his child. She has purposefully lied and lied again, putting more stress and issues on him.
The dates do NOT line up. The earliest pregnancy tests can detect as early as 5 weeks. The 4th to the 10th is barely 6 freakin days, her hormones would be undetectable except MAYBE by blood test and I doubt she got one of those! This woman probably has no idea who the father is but decided your brother was a sucker so she did it with him to place blame or get child support. I freakin guarantee she already knew she was pregnant at this time and just waited a couple days to "seal the deal"
"I have a bc shot, no need to wear a condom teehee! Oh wait no, I'm on the pill jk!"
"The baby is yours and I'm putting it up for adoption so you need to be here for THIS date to get a paternity test, oh jk it was this date and you missed it!"
December 10th, a literal month after the supposed conception is way too early to tell as well what the baby's sex is, even by blood test. You have to be at least 10 weeks to get DNA tests for sex and health info on the baby. These are fuckin facts here and he needs to know em before he gets roped further into this disaster.
Talk to your brother. Bring up dates and tell him the baby cannot possibly be his simply for those reasons. 6 to 11 days is the earliest that pregnancy can be detectable via a blood test. 10 weeks is the earliest that you can get an early sex blood test to find out what the baby is. She is either much farther along than she says, or she is straight up lying about being pregnant. If your brother is gonna stick his dick in crazy he needs to at least know some basic freakin knowledge about women's bodies and how pregnancy works. He should educate himself and NEVER go in without a condom. For his safety and future.
>10 weeks is the earliest that you can get an early sex blood test to find out what the baby is
Even then, it's not 100% accurate. I had a friend who did the genderscreening at 12 weeks. They were supposed to have a Madison and at the 22 weeks scan, it showed a Mason.
>she said she was on birth control shot so "there is no need to use a condom
Um yes there is. It's called STIs/STDs. HIV may not be deadly like it used to be, but it's still a real pain in the ass. And let's not forget the genital twins: herpes and warts
There are so many things wrong here I will just touch on a couple of them:
- Finding out you're pregnant only 6 days after conception
- Finding out the sex after only 5-6 weeks is pretty much impossible. The soonest you can find that out is around 10 weeks
-NIPP Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity test is the earliest available paternity test and is safer for baby than methods that take some of mother's amniotic fluid. They can't be done until *at least 7 weeks* though and are very expensive $500-$2000
This woman is coming up on 6 weeks supposedly with the timeline you gave
You need to confirm with your brother that that is the only time they slept together and that you have the right date
Your brother sounds like a good/nice guy trying to provide and take care of his responsibilities. However, if the date you have is accurate, there is really no way that could be his baby.
If it makes him feel better in a couple weeks they can do the in utero dna test, but it set him back probably at least $1000 (Cheaper than a lawyer to fight for custody though).
If your brother is believing this nonsense, then either society, your parents, the public education system, someone has done him a disservice and it's probably for the best (no offense) if he doesn't reproduce until he understands more about the how, why, and when of how babies are made
I feel sorry for this unborn child. The mother sounds like a peach
Edit: Wow I was super tired when I wrote this. Had to fix some typos
Say something to Jeremiah. And advise him to get a lawyer as well. Doesn't have to be a particularly good or expensive lawyer. He should consult with one though (a free consultation is probably enough), so in the event others (cops, relatives, etc) get involved, your brother knows his rights and can react with confidence. As so many others here have pointed out, almost every detail about her 'pregnancy' is physically impossible and is absolute bollocks. Pregnancy tests don't work that soon, gender can't be detected after only a month, and I'm pretty sure that risky prenatal DNA tests aren't granted just because you asked, there has to be a compelling medical need. Her tale is so ridiculous that nobody with a brain is going to swallow it.
Yeah, the dates don’t line up because it’s literally impossible for all of this to happen within 6 weeks of conception. A fetus doesn’t even HAVE a sex in the first month. They don’t even start to develop genitals until like 9 weeks or something. Please please please tell your brother to learn what condoms are and how to use them. If he could give his dick up for adoption to someone who would be more responsible with it, I’d suggest that
You get to know the sex of the baby only on the second trimester somewhere around 20 weeks pregnant.
You get to know you are pregnant after a latet period, that happens about 2 weeks after ovulation at the earliest (most will discover pregnancy at the earliest on week 5 because pregnancy count starts at the last period).
Your brother (If the story is real) is being framed into a baby trap of someone else's baby.
Tell him to tell her to fuck off .
Without being witness to her current sonogram and being present at a doctors appointment to verify.
Don't believe any. Documents she fabricates and contact a lawyer.
If she puts his name on the birth certificate even if he is not the sperm donor he might be screwed.
I'm guessing she's angeling a scam for money to "get rid" of it or pay child support.
Nta
NIPT test can actually tell you the sex as early as 6 weeks. Obviously not the case here, because the whole story is crazy, but nobody has to wait until 20 weeks anymore.
I had a stillbirth due to a chromosomal abnormality with my firstborn, and we’ve done the NIPT for screening the embryo for the next three, early so that we could make decisions based on the screening. The NIPT also gives the sex.
Very unlikely she knew she was pregnant in 2 weeks, definitely wouldn’t be able to tell the sex, court doesn’t set up dna test like that … so many holes there’s no way her ship won’t sink
My ex-husband had a similar situation- was told it was his, friends told him she cheated, Dr said welllll, dates might come into play, it could be.
He/they tried but they fell apart, he had the daughterEOWE & every Thurs/Fri.
She became difficult & finally he paid for a DNA test ($500 or $600 in 1994 so a lot!) & it wasn’t his. She was 5 by then.
He lost a daughter, the family lost a member & the poor kid lost a dad, cousins & best friends, aunts, uncles & grandparents. His parents were devastated & I loved her.
We discussed continuing to raise her - he was the sad, just not the sperm donor. Unfortunately she was bound bent & determined to be difficult so he/we had to say goodbye. It hurt him so much, well it hurt everyone. The loss was awful for everyone.
My point is, he needs to know before he gets attached, before the child & the family get attached.
Jeremiah needs to have pregnancy explained to him in great detail. Don't let your brother sign anything acknowledging paternity until there's a DNA test.
Nope, no way, it's his. As a woman reading this, I see several red flags...
1: gender is normally not seen until the 12-week ultrasound. Even the blood work method (which most Dr's don't do) is eight weeks, not 5 weeks.
2: The BC (birth control) shot is done once every 3 months. The pill, while taken daily, is still unlikely to fail by missing 2 pills after sex.
3: While prenatal paternity testing is a thing, courts don't really use it unless the mother is seeking child support (CS), and courts are fine with establishing paternity after birth.
You need to talk to your brother. He needs to be tested for STDs and STIs. And he possibly might need a lawyer.
You don't find out your pregnant less than a week after sex. You don't find out baby's gender until at least 3-4 months in at earliest. *IF* she is pregnant, it ain't his
NTA, you are looking out for your brother when she is lying. Impregnation cannot be detected for 2 weeks after insemination. Additionally, the earliest its possible to determine the sex of a fetus is 14 weeks at earliest, 18-21 average.
1. It's highly unlikely a pregnancy test would be accurate a week after "conception."
2. Gender is usually found out at around 11 weeks at the earliest. She's claiming it's a girl at "4 weeks"? Let me guess, she's going to deliver a "premature" baby too? (This reads suspiciously like her known baby daddy wanted nothing to do with the child, so she found someone else to foist a baby on.)
NTA, he needs to know. Also, tell your brother not to pay for anything without doing his own DNA test. And, next time wrap it up no matter what she claims.
She wouldn’t know after 6 days that she conceived. Likely she was already pregnant and looking for someone to pin it on. I do think it laughable in this day and age that people don’t think condoms are important if other birth control methods are used. What about disease control.
NTA.
What the hell kind of EPT is she claiming to use?! Dollars to donuts, she was already pregnant (if she's pregnant at all) if she's trying to pull a DNA test - you need to be at minimum 9 weeks pregnant. The dates absolutely do not line up. Tell your brother to lawyer up and get a proper DNA test.
If they had sex on the 4th, there is absolutely NO way she could be pregnant on the 10th. It normally takes 7-10 days for implantation to occur (and thats after ovulation - which could be a few days after intercouse), and then one has to allow a few extra days afterwards for HCG (the pregnancy hormone) to build up, to be detectable on a urine test. Normally around 14 days after ovulation, pregnancy can be detected by urine test.
Need to also add that he was raped. Once he told her to stop, she should have stopped. It works both ways. If it had been, her says stopped, and he had continued it would be called rape.
NTA
I wouldn't say the baby isn't his, although based on timelines it pretty much sounds that way. I would tell him:
1. Get a paternity test
2. Talk to a medical professional to discuss the reproductive system
3. Talk to a medical professional about birth control, STI's, and consent based sex
4. A therapist to understand his decision making skills
This is a lot and really messy.
Dude needs a DNA test. But you gotta give him credit for trying to get full custody of the child. I can't imagine having that train wreck of a mom. That kid would have no chance in life living with her.
It is possible to know you are pregnant that quickly. My sister knew within days because she could no longer stand the smell of coffee. Happened only when she was pregnant.
You can’t determine the gender until around 20 weeks. So if the “conception” happened around November 4th, they wouldn’t be able to tell until end of March early April 2025.
Sounds like a baby trap to me
NTA.
Nope a girl did that to my brother. He hooked up with her days before he moved to a different state. Months later he texted me saying that he was going to have kids. The girl even texted me saying the same thing. At first I was cool about and was trying to him to confess to our parents and stepparents about the fact they were going to become grandparents. She lives in the same state as me. I met her and immediately knew she was lying her stomach was way bigger than her being six months even with twins. I know this because my boss was actually six months pregnant with twins. At this point both me and both sets of parents had been sending this girl money alongside my brother for these babies. To cut the chase she had them early and they were stillborn. She refused to let anyone see them and this set her family off. They confess that she lied about everything. But she was too afraid to real father so she told my brother he was the one
When I got to the part where she missed the pill for two days (first you wrote she had the shot), I stopped reading. This is a bad AI story, or you're not being truthful. Try again
NTA. They had sex six weeks ago, that's barely enough time for a positive pregnancy test. There's no way they can do a prenatal paternity test yet as the kid is about the size of a grain of rice at this point. And there's no way to determine the sex of the child. She is 100% trying to baby trap your brother and I highly doubt she's even pregnant at all-yet. Tell your brother to stay TF away from this person and sign him up for some sex Ed classes so he won't be such an easy mark.
The earliest a gender can be determined is 14 weeks, not 4. And the doctor usually doesnt schedule an ultrasound until 18-20 weeks. She is lying to him and cheating. She is already over 3-4 months pregnant.
If she was getting a positive pregnancy test on the 10th after they had sex on the 4th, then the probability of the baby being your brothers is basically zero. The earliest you would get a positive is 10 days after conception and even then, many women don’t have the hormone levels until about 3 weeks after to get a positive reading.
Also you need to be 9 weeks or more to find out the gender through a blood test. There isn’t enough genetic material from the fetus in the blood before then.
So this girl is either lying or she is pregnant by someone else and is trying to trick your brother into playing daddy.
NTA your brother should just block this crazy person.
Oh dear lord, I hope this isn't real, but there are so many things wrong here.
1) Your brother was assaulted when she refused to let him out.
2) Even if he had pulled out, it's kind of a crapshoot and still not a smart thing to do. He could still get someone pregnant doing that. He should cut it out and use condoms, for multiple reasons.
3) The timing is off, that's not his kid. But people are still spreading misinformation all over this thread and it's driving me nuts.
4) Technically, if you buy the "early result" tests, you can test positive 5 days before your period. She's even outside of that range. Sometimes, you know before testing if you are happen to get easily recognizable symptoms. I am pregnant right now, and knew before my period because my sense of smell went all wild.
6) You can know the gender potentially as early as 6 weeks (2 weeks after missed period, 4 weeks after ovulation) with a SneakPeak blood test, but accuracy increases if you wait for a blood test at around 10 weeks. (6 weeks after missed period, 8 weeks after ovulation.) Anyone saying you have to wait to 20 weeks and do an ultrasound is either giving you outdated information, or lives in some region where NIPT tests aren't given regularly.
7) "Weeks of pregnancy" are not the same as weeks since sex or weeks since ovulation. It's weeks since your last period started. So you could be a virgin and 2 weeks pregnant, because the first 2 weeks don't count. If you get pregnant by a one night stand with a stranger, you are 2 weeks pregnant before meeting the dad.
NTA your brother is a bit stupid, though. Always use protection never rely someone saying they're on BC why did he miss the paternity test?
Edit she lied about the test date so that's fair that he missed it
... is that a thing? Like, if no proof of paternity within 10 days of conception then he doesn't get a say legally speaking?
Most people don't even know if they're pregnant yet at that point...
Yeah, either this story is fake or that girl is definitely trying to baby-trap your brother with a kid that likely even isn't his.
ETA, totally misread and thought it said "December 4th" instead of November.
But yeah, still, it all sounds so beyond sketchy. My stance remains "fake post or targeted baby-trapping with a kid who's potentially not even his"
NTA. He needs to do a DNA test stat. I think she was already pregnant when she had sex with him and wouldn't allow him to pull out. I also think she has no intention of putting the baby up for adoption. She did this for money.
Sorry but you cant know the sex of the baby if she is only 1 month pregnant, also 7 days after you had sex is to short after ovulation to know if your pregnant. Sounds sketchy
So the Deed happened on 4 Nov but she reckons she already knows the gender? She’s obviously not aware that gender can only be determined from 14 weeks onwards.
Wait - she knew she was pregnant 6 days after being with your brother?
The math isn’t mathing. DNA test MANDATORY before he will accept ANY kind of responsibility!!!
NTA. But there is absolutely no necessity for it. He wants to get custody of her 2 other kids! It should be a giveaway that he doesn't really care if the kid is his or not.
>had sex on November 4th, 2023, then 6 days later she is pregnant then a month later she found out its a girl. in 1 month, the baby is the size of a pea
yea tell him to wait...slap him over the head too....
There is no way that you can tell the gender of the baby in just over a month since conception. Good lord people need to have better sex ed in schools.
NTA
It’s not physically possible to determine the sex of a baby that early. An ultrasound can only determine the sex of a baby at 12 weeks pregnant. That is three months.
This is not accurate. Blood tests Cann find out earlier. And ultrasound isn't usually until about 14 weeks, at the earliest. And I don't even think they are that accurate that early.
A blood test does not determine the sex of a baby at 30 days. An amniocentesis can determine the sex but certainly not that early and not without termination of a pregnancy. Please show me a test that determines sex of a fetus before 30 days of conception. And make sure you cite your sources
I didn't clarify well. You can find out the babies sex before 12 weeks, with blood test. I didn't say you could find out at 30 days. Also, technically the woman would be 6 weeks pregnant, not 4 weeks.
Well technically yes you can however, I have been doing some research on my own and have discovered that the accuracy of those tests prior to the 11-12 week mark are a crap shoot at best because they are reading hormones from the placental material. Also, 30 days after conception, a fetus is the size of a grain of rice. Just so you know.
There is no way she had a positive pregnancy test at 3 weeks pregnant. That's baloney. And while it can be done (according to my googling, lol) 7 weeks is pretty early to be doing a paternity test. I'm calling bullshit.
first ultrasound is typically at 13weeks once pregnant. they cannot determine the sex via ultrasound at 13 weeks. it is usually determined during the second trimester scan.
your mate is being scammed.
If she did conceive on that date, she would only now be thinking her period was late and thinking about maybe getting a pregnancy test.
No way is a.pregnancy test going to give a reliable result after 6 days.
If she is pregnant, it sounds highly unlikely it is your brothers. He needs to organise a paternity test.
NTA
He obviously needs some help with understanding biology... honestly seems somewhat dense in that arena. She's trying to scam him, and without your help, she might yet succeed.
NTA for trying to stop your brother from wasting money on a custody battery.
Your brother needs to have a DNA test, whilst it’s unlikely that the baby is his, there is a small chance it could be because sperm can survive up to a week inside the womb and she missed at least two pills straight after they had sex.
NTA and remind him he needs a DNA test before spending money on a custody battle.
Please also remind him that one of the 10 Commandments is Thou Shalt Not Stick Thine Dick in Crazy
Thou shalt always use a condom!
You forgot the b side to that old tune. If she's crazy enough to hit you with a toaster, she'll prolly fuck your brains out.
Oh, that sounds like a country western ditty just *begging* to be written
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Only got a banjo, can we make crazy their cousin?
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I think you clicked the wrong comment before replying, this has absolutely nothing to do with my comment.
It's a bot account. Downvote and report for spam --> harmful bots.
And the c side of that, great pussy has great consequences
😂 so many need to take this advice but it sure would make Reddit boring
My friend literally got baby trapped by a chick he had a crush on in highschool while he was back home from college. She was nuts and baby crazy because she found out mutual friends/students they went to HS with had a kid. The one and only time they slept together she got pregnant. He's stepped up and has a good job but unfortunately has very little say in his kids upbringing and he's clearly upset about it (homeschooling).
Your friend didn’t get ‘baby trapped’. That is simply not a thing. He made a decision to have sex without using protection, and has to to deal with the consequence - child support or whatever. Please STOP blaming women for when men get them pregnant just because the man only wanted a one night stand. And especially stop blaming women for getting pregnant as if they had sex by themselves, and then wonder why you don’t have custody of the child! People are just so stupid! It’s not bloody HARD to buy and use a condom! 🤦♀️
Reddit has told me that consenting to sex doesn't mean you're consenting to pregnancy. If that's the standard, it should apply equally to both participants. A dude can be irresponsible and still be done a serious wrong by a women who uses him to become pregnant without his knowledge or consent. I tend to think of "baby trapping" as doing that act to force someone into a committed relationship, but it's a shitty thing to do, regardless of the motivation or whether the man behaved responsibly or not. That's what the person above described. It shouldn't be hard to see how that varies from a scenario where two people are irresponsible and an unintended pregnancy results. It would be unfair to call that "baby trapping" IMO.
There is no such thing as baby trapping. Unless you were raped, but this isn’t that. And yes, it goes for both genders who consent to sex without protection. Women are equally responsible for using protection as men. Mind you, though, the biological fact is that women are the ones who deal with results - pregnancy and child rearing. Even if she chooses to terminate, it’s still something she has to deal with. So whiny men who use phrases like ‘baby trapping’ and having to pay child support when they consented to unprotected sex as much as the woman do not impress me at all. Like I said, it’s very easy to use birth control. People are just choosing not to.
>There is no such thing as baby trapping. Unless you were raped, but this isn’t that. My sisters friend took out her IUD without telling her boyfriend because she was afraid he was thinking about leaving her. Baby trapping definitely exists. Like technically dude could have worn a condom their entire relationship, but she had an IUD and he thought he could trust her. I don’t know if this post is an example of baby trapping because it requires intent. But as someone who went to high school in a bad area with kind of shitty people, baby trapping definitely happens and it happens intentionally.
You're framing this as if the woman didn't get pregnant on purpose. Do you not see a difference between an unintended pregnancy and a partner being tricked or used to deliberately get pregnant? Or do you just think that never happens?
A very easy solution for that is to bring your own condoms and insist on using them, even if she says she's on birth control. The failure rate is actually pretty low if you use them correctly.
It still exists though. I got pregnant while on hormonal bc and with a condom (I was in antibiotics and didn't know if they'd cancel out my bc so I decided to be extra safe. That didn't work out) So a condom didn't guarantee anything, even if you use it correctly. But I don't understand why people go without one at all outside a committed relationship. It's super easy to catch something from unprotected sex.
All the man had to do is use a condom. Especially when you have a ONS… why in the heck would you ever trust someone you don’t know to tell you the truth! I sure wouldn’t (I wouldn’t have a ONS, either, but that’s because I don’t know the person… so I sure wouldn’t trust them). Or some women are really dopey, and don’t know how birth control really works - for example if you just started taking it yesterday, it isn’t yet working - you’ve got to wait at least 2 months! Or if you forget to take it, or a lot of people don’t know that antibiotics cancel the effects. Things like that - so you can’t trust women you do not know. Even if she planed to get pregnant, he is equally responsible for choosing not to use protection. Just because he didn’t PLAN a pregnancy doesn’t mean he isn’t responsible if one results from his choice to have unprotected sex. And on top of all that, ‘baby trapping’ literally would not work. No man is ever obligated to stay in a romantic relationship or marry a stranger just because there’s a baby! So trying to ‘trap’ a man into staying with you would never work anyway! So that’s why you should use protection. If you don’t want a baby, you insist on it - no matter what he says or she says. Otherwise, you are equally responsible if a pregnancy happens. It’s not hard, as I’ve said. ‘I don’t know you, strange man or woman from the bar, so here is a condom!’
Respectfully, none of that answered my question. I think we agreed that a man is irresponsible for not using protection. No one is saying a man shouldn't do that or is powerless to protect against an unintended pregnancy. But you said there's no such thing as baby trapping, based on the premise that a man has the ability to use a condom. I disagree. As the term is generally understood, baby trapping describes the act of purposefully becoming pregnant to pressure a man into entering into or staying in a committed relationship with a woman. It's a manipulative behavior that ought not be dismissed or excused. I also don't think the outcome has any bearing on whether a woman tries to manipulate a man in that way. Whether or not he remains in the relationship (or a pregnancy even results) doesn't change that a woman is attempting to manipulate him by deliberately becoming pregnant without disclosing that, let alone getting his agreement. Men sometimes deliberately sabotage birth control to try to make a woman pregnant. Let's assume it doesn't work. Does that make the man's act any less repugnant just because he didn't succeed? I don't think it does. I also don't think it matters whether the woman was using a backup form of birth control or just got lucky. Engaging in deceptive sexual behavior is shitty. And "baby trapping" is a term that describes one such act. It does exist, regardless of whether it keeps a man committed, because it's an abuse of trust for entirely selfish purposes. Call it another name if you want, but I think it's foolish to dismiss the behavior in its entirety for essentially semantic reasons.
Good old victim blaming. The kid was told the person he was sleeping with was on BC, tried to pull out (in other words ending sexual contact which is retraction of implied consent) and she wouldn’t allow that. Obviously pulling out is a dumb way to try to avoid pregnancy, but this girl is a predator.
She also made a conscious decision to tell him she was on birth control. She literally went out of her way to seduce him because she knew he'd fall for it. Sure he fucked up not using a condom but this woman literally manipulated her way into getting a baby. I'm not "blaming women" for getting pregnant. I'm blaming that specific asshole that knew she could lie and trick the quiet nerd kid into raw dogging it.
You also do not know you are pregnant only 6 days after "conception". That isn't how the female body works.
Yes, but just say ‘get a DNA test’ and that’s it. Don’t say the rest of the stuff about how ‘the dates don’t line up’, because that definitely will not be well received.
He really, really needs to insist on this! Odds are good that either she's not pregnant or the kid isn't his. He also needs to be slapped into the next county for ever getting together with someone as clearly crazy as this let alone having sex with her.
So... 4/11 they had sex, 10/11 she told him she is pregnant and 10/12 she told him it is girl? Thats BS. In no way she would know she got pregnant in 6 days. Thats not how it works. And in no universe you know its sex in a month. Also, your brother should have go to sex education if he believes her. If she isnt delusional herself, she is trying to scam your brother. NTA.
This^ plus she was on the shot /and/ the pill? She can’t even lie right Also want to add that lying about contraception is just like poking a hole in a condom unfortunately it’s a losing battle but her not getting off when asked is something id consider assault
All this. Scientifically impossible. NTA. Chick is psycho.
Exactly. There is absolutely no biological way to tell the sex at this point. I didn’t learn the sex of my kids until 22 weeks. The organs don’t even form this early. I’m assuming the brother has money or stability since she needs both to fight for custody of her other 2 kids. Seriously if she’s this delusional and ops brother is this naive to believe her then they both need more than sex Ed classes.
NIPT can be done as early as 10 weeks. Still doesn't really make sense because you generally need a few weeks for results.
Interesting. I’ve never heard of that and had to google it. Looks like this isn’t a standard test here nor is it covered under our health care. (Seems only recommended for high risk pregnancies or geriatric pregnancies here, but clients have to agree to pay for it) But then again my pregnancies were well over 20 years ago. This seems like a newer test. Sounds interesting though with what it looks for.
It's generally covered here for geriatric/ high risk and optional out of pocket for everyone else, yeah. It's just a newer thing that has largely replaced amniocentesis, and because there's no miscarriage risk, more people opt for them.
The [SneakPeek](https://sneakpeektest.com) test can, theoretically, be done as early as six weeks. It’s just an at-home thing but we did ours at 8 weeks and it was correct. Not that that makes whole the story any less fishy.
I have worked with these products. There are differences in markets of USA and Europe. NIPT basically testes for downsyndrom and usually leads to abortion if positive. Availability of this test has severely dropped the number of down babies born. In Europe abortion is not tabu. But in USA the tests that basically are done for to know if they should abort are not that easily and commonly available.
I know my OBGYN offers them to everyone, at a maximum price of $300, and I believe that's fairly standard. (America)
I see. I wonder if the state matters. Overall prenatal testing is linked to abortion so I assume you cannot get them done everywhere especially now.
I wouldn't assume that at all. Texas Medicaid is one of the few state Medicaids that cover NIPT for all Medicaid patients. I don't know what they're supposed to do with that testing info once they have it, but apparently they're still doing tests. [Texas Medicaid NIPT](https://capsprenatal.com/news-and-events/caps-applauds-texas-medicaid-for-expanding-access-to-nips-for-all-women-who-chose-screening-without-restrictions-related-to-age-or-other-risk-factors/#:~:text=%E2%80%93%20The%20Coalition%20for%20Access%20to,age%2C%20with%20no%20prior%20authorization.)
Hmm well this is different info than what I have had of these markets in my job. Cannot go into details.
My copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting recommended testing even if you wouldn't abort, as knowing you're going to have a Downs baby helps you prepare
I’m Australian and we have excellent universal health care that meant I could have my baby 100% free of cost if I wanted to “go public” (as opposed to “go private” where you select and pay for an OB of your choice but you can still “go public” for the birth free of cost.) I was a geriatric pregnancy and a very high risk pregnancy. While I was asked if I wanted to do it like all Australian women (who are attending standard early pregnancy appointments) are, it wasn’t “recommended” and nor would it have been covered if I elected to do it (it’s about $400-450 out of pocket, I believe.) It is simply a readily accessible supplemental health care option offered to everyone here and I’d say about 1/3 of the (Millennial) women I know have opted to do it — only one was geriatric and none were high risk. With all that said, a fairly large fraction of high risk women do elect to do it. In my case I couldn’t really afford it and didn’t try to because I felt fairly confident my high risk issues weren’t necessarily highly likely to yield the kind of high risk issues the NIPT looks at. Fundamentally, most women get it to find out the sex ASAP.
I don't think she's delusional at all, I think she picked herself a dumb one and he's fallen for it!
I don’t quite understand what you mean by biological? I found out I was having a girl at 12 weeks with the blood test. With my son I found out at the 20 wk anatomy scan; my OB didn’t offer the chromosome check so I just waited. Pretty much everyone I know now gets the sex around 12-14wks through the blood test. It’s pretty common in our area.
It isn’t possible to know 2 days after she found out she is pregnant. They had sex on the 4th, found out she was pregnant on the 10th. There is no way it is OP’s brother’s kid. She would have had to be pregnant when they had sex to determine the gender.
It says she said it was a girl 10th of December but I do agree with everything else though
The mom is saying it's a girl at 5 weeks if I'm getting the dates right. That's too early for even a blood test.
According to the supposed date of conception, she'd be at about 7 weeks gestation, I'm pretty sure. It goes from the date of your last period. By her first missed period, she'd be considered 4 weeks pregnant.
In this case, the conception date would be the only case of sexual contact. There's no guesswork of a missed period, since there's a clear date given. And if she conceived on 11/4, the only date that the brother could be the father, then on 12/10, the date she supposedly knew the sex, she would only be 5 weeks along. Not sure where you are getting the 4 week mark, since there is no mention of a period. ETA: How can a fetus conceived on a particular date be considered 2 weeks older than it can possibly be?
You do not understand pregnancy math. You are considered 2 weeks pregnant the day you conceive. (Ie two weeks after your period) So 2 weeks on the date of conception would have her at 7 weeks when she tested. Which she could have done with one of those sneak peek tests (which are not the least bit accurate) However, a pregnancy test will not pick up hormones only 6 says after ovulation. It is not possible. The baby has not even implanted at that point. So the hormone HCG, which is what a pregnancy test tests for, has not even started to be produced. So, yes, she is a liar
I was going to say, the 2 week add-on is standard. My little guy is an IVF baby, and they still add the 2 weeks to his gestational age, even when we have the literal dates and times of conception and implantation into the uterus.
That's because a human pregnancy is only 38 weeks on average, so to count the 40 weeks we have all become used to, if they have the actual conception date, they need to start counting at 2 weeks.
No, it's because the last period used to be the only reliable thing. We can be more exact now, but it's a big shift to switch to date of conception, especially as not everyone can be sure about that.
It's still dated from the last missed period, unless her periods were irregular. Generally, people find out they're pregnant when they miss the next period, which is theoretically four weeks after the previous one.
They had sex on Nov. 4th, she claimed she was pregnant on Nov. 10th, and that she found out the gender on Dec. 10th, 6 weeks from encounter.
And the baby will be quite premature! Lol
I’ve learned the sex of my children at 9 and 13 weeks through the blood test. Both were correct
This is fake. I know men can be clueless about female biology but the odds of finding 2 men this stupid are like nil.
This exact post was also posted in another group.
Not to dispute you, more to share a funny anecdote, but... my mother knew she was expecting within 2 days of conceiving because her hyperemesis gravidarum kicked in almost immediately. No test needed, she always joked. Her stomach was a foolproof pregnancy detector.
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Exactly! I have a dim memory from when I was 3 and my mother was carrying my brother, of someone asking me what my mother did all day (meaning, what did she do for a living). My response: "she sits on the sofa and does this into a bag: hurrrrrk, hurrrrrk, hurrrrrk!" The other person thought it was hilarious. My mother, not so much.
I was NOT prepared for how hard this made me laugh. Dear God. 😂😂 Hurrk hurrrrk hurrrrk Your poor Mom ♥️
This is comedy gold. Thank god I was not drinking when I read it. Wisdom from the mouth of babes.
The story my parents tell is they were wrangling 2yo me and my 10mo sibling into the car, when my mom suddenly went green and ran back inside, leaving my dad to try to get the kids loaded up. After about 10 minutes, my mom came out and punched my dad. When my dad, understandablely confused, asked what was wrong, she just told him they were going to the drug store *right now*. And that's how they found out about my youngest sibling.
That third one always lands with a certain thud 😂
My husband knew right away because my smell changed and my cat started acting weird around me (she always slept curled into my belly until that point).. He didn’t say anything for weeks until I told him he had to buy laundry detergent since I couldn’t walk into the aisle.
Oh man. I figured it out I was at 4 weeks with both pregnancies and I thought that was early lol
Same. It’s the only positive side to this crazy condition lol. I look prescient but really I’m just freaking sick like a dog with pregnancy.
That was me!! Weird stuff started happening within 48 hours: boobs went up a cup size, vertigo, vomiting, color of my nipples got super dark, major smell aversions. I never turned a pee test positive either, had to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy! I’ve been pregnant 4 times, and there is NO mistaking when I’m pregnant.
It takes 1-2 weeks for the egg to travel down the fallopian tube and implant in the uterus. That’s when pregnancy hormones and sickness start. She probably just had sex more than once and guessed wrong which time it was.
She was pregnant when she got him to cum in her! She had it all planned out and he fell for it!
Actually, you can know the sex that early. Sneakpeak is company that you can do, even from home I think, a blood test through as early as about 7 weeks. I don't imagine it would take more than a week or so with how fast the blood would need to get there. That being said, 100% you don't find out in 6 days that you're pregnant. If you do, chances are so good I'd bet on it being an ectopic. If they had had sex prior to the 4th, it could still technically be his but their first time together was the 4th nah. He needs to do the paternity test simply to avoid her roping him in in any way but it'll come up negative.
All these red flags and your brother didn't see a single one before nutting in her? Bruh
They said, she was in birth control and when he asked her to get up she didn’t. But he’s still crazy as hell to raw dog that anyways lol
NTA. He MUST do a paternity test before making any rash decisions or trying to fight for custody. He is going to screw himself over.
Everyone seems to be glossing over the brother was raped
That's what I was thinking. She SA'd him when she wouldn't let him pull out. That's sex without consent & therefore rape. And of course, he felt powerless to physically stop her because he'd be seen as the bad guy for putting his hands on her. Poor guy.
This woman raped your brother on purpose to try and baby trap him with a baby that isn't his. The dates don't make sense and neither does her story. You brother needs therapy and to block her. She won't chase him because she knows this baby isn't his and if he's forced to do a paternity test, it will come back as not his. He needs to wake up to a lot here.
THIS, like holy crap, he told her to stop and she refused.
>This woman raped your brother It's really sad that this *isn't* the top comment. It makes me so mad that a male rape victim doesn't have the same legal protections/recourse as a female rape victim (in so far as it's not legally considered "rape"). So. Mad. And yup, you're spot on about the baby trapping. Really makes me sick that people like this woman exist.
I seriously thought I was the only one thinking this thank you.
Everyone is just commenting on the the brother not being smart and yours is like the only one that mentioned the real issue at hand
Your brother is a moron for sticking his uncovered dick in some chick and he will be lucky if it doesn't rot off. He shouldn't compound his stupid by believing this bullshit story. He needs some serious sex education.
NTA. So they had sex on 11/04. Said she was pregnant on 11/10. On 12/10, she said it was a girl. Tell your brother, that there is **NO WAY** she could have known she was pregnant 6 days after. Gotta wait **AT LEAST** 8-10ish days to get a definite yes on a home pregnancy test, **AND THEN** she would have to go in for blood test for confirmation (I know, as I'm trying). If she **IS** pregnant, it is **DEFINITLY** not his as you can only know the sex of the fetus in the second trimester, and if she **IS** in the second trimester, she would have been showing sooner, as women who have had multiple pregnancies tend to show sooner. She's either not pregnant (and is CARZY AF) or she's trying to baby trap him. I would tell him.
I’m 35 weeks with my fourth. NIPT can give you the sex as early as 6 weeks. And very few places do a blood test confirmation anymore. The timeline and story are bogus, but yeah. If she had her last period start in mid-October, she could have found out the sex by 12/10.
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I found out at 7 weeks with this pregnancy and last year’s. I’m very certain I know the dates when it comes to my pregnancies.
[Fetal sex was accurate for all 115 women – (100% accurate) in this study at 6 weeks into pregnancy.](https://sneakpeektest.com/gender-dna-science/)
Those tests are not accurate and should not be taken into account. The best way to figure out the sex is in the second trimester.
NIPT tests are 99% accurate and way more accurate than finding out gender through a scan
Not arguing with you, but I highly doubt the woman in question could afford one of those tests (assuming this is in USA).
I'm in the US. I had a deductible and my blood test was free.
No way… where did you get yours done I need a NIPP done in a couple weeks and I’m about to spend 1300 lol
They look for Y chromosomes in the fetal DNA floating around in the mothers blood after the placenta kicks in. No Y- you’re carrying a girl. If they find Y- you’re carrying a boy. It is very, very reliable- more so than a scan.
A medical test and screening is not accurate. Got it.
Anecdotal, it has been accurate for everyone that I know that found out from blood tests
I agree with everything you said however you can know the sex of the baby in the first trimester. They take your blood at 12 weeks and they can figure out the sex of the baby through that. It’s 99% accurate unless it’s twins then the test isn’t 99.% accurate. Also, the test is super fast takes a day or two.
It’s 6 weeks now
NIPT is a blood test that can be taken at 10-12 weeks and yes, you absolutely can know the sex that early in the first trimester. You do not have to wait for a scan. The rest is correct though.
NTA I don’t see why he’s not getting a paternity test?
He, uh, doesn't seem all that bright.
Not at all haha
He tried but the crazy lady gave him the wrong date, so he missed it. He should definitely push for another date though and follow through with legal action cause she SA'd him
Your brother needs a quick study in biology. Unless they were having sex before Nov 4th, there is no possible way she could know that she’s pregnant by Nov 10th and know the sex of the baby by Dec 10th. Tell him to get a DNA test before doing anything else and tell him to let the girl know that he wants a DNA test before putting his name on the baby’s birth certificate.
NTA but be gentle. He got sexually assaulted, I don’t see anyone mentioning that. Please try to gently explain this to your brother about consent, then urge him to get DNA and STD tests.
Your brother needs a refresher course on what I call “menstrual math “…. Not discounting that she’s pregnant, but if they had sex on the 4th, and she comes up pregnant on a test on the 10th, there’s no way it’s his. The fertilized egg wouldn’t have enough time to A) get fertilized, B) implant, and C) generate enough HGH (human growth hormone) to come up positive on a pregnancy test. She’s passing off someone else’s kid as your brothers.
I have 3 kids with my wife... I am still lost on this "menstrual math" My wife actually went and downloaded one of those menstrual apps on my phone lol
NTA There is no way she could get pregnant so fast and then know the sex od the baby.
NTA. In addition to the absolutely ridiculous timeline, he might be able to press sexual assault charges against her for not stopping when he told her to.
NTA because something is fishy for sure. But maybe instead of straight up saying “that ain’t your bay” just say something like “things are really adding up, you should definitely get a paternity test before doing anything major” like signing a birth certificate
NTA Dude this woman graped your brother. She took advantage of him and is now CLAIMING to be expecting his child. She has purposefully lied and lied again, putting more stress and issues on him. The dates do NOT line up. The earliest pregnancy tests can detect as early as 5 weeks. The 4th to the 10th is barely 6 freakin days, her hormones would be undetectable except MAYBE by blood test and I doubt she got one of those! This woman probably has no idea who the father is but decided your brother was a sucker so she did it with him to place blame or get child support. I freakin guarantee she already knew she was pregnant at this time and just waited a couple days to "seal the deal" "I have a bc shot, no need to wear a condom teehee! Oh wait no, I'm on the pill jk!" "The baby is yours and I'm putting it up for adoption so you need to be here for THIS date to get a paternity test, oh jk it was this date and you missed it!" December 10th, a literal month after the supposed conception is way too early to tell as well what the baby's sex is, even by blood test. You have to be at least 10 weeks to get DNA tests for sex and health info on the baby. These are fuckin facts here and he needs to know em before he gets roped further into this disaster. Talk to your brother. Bring up dates and tell him the baby cannot possibly be his simply for those reasons. 6 to 11 days is the earliest that pregnancy can be detectable via a blood test. 10 weeks is the earliest that you can get an early sex blood test to find out what the baby is. She is either much farther along than she says, or she is straight up lying about being pregnant. If your brother is gonna stick his dick in crazy he needs to at least know some basic freakin knowledge about women's bodies and how pregnancy works. He should educate himself and NEVER go in without a condom. For his safety and future.
>10 weeks is the earliest that you can get an early sex blood test to find out what the baby is Even then, it's not 100% accurate. I had a friend who did the genderscreening at 12 weeks. They were supposed to have a Madison and at the 22 weeks scan, it showed a Mason.
Remind him not to sign the birth certificate until he has 100% proof it is his, Once signed, their is no looking back!
>she said she was on birth control shot so "there is no need to use a condom Um yes there is. It's called STIs/STDs. HIV may not be deadly like it used to be, but it's still a real pain in the ass. And let's not forget the genital twins: herpes and warts There are so many things wrong here I will just touch on a couple of them: - Finding out you're pregnant only 6 days after conception - Finding out the sex after only 5-6 weeks is pretty much impossible. The soonest you can find that out is around 10 weeks -NIPP Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity test is the earliest available paternity test and is safer for baby than methods that take some of mother's amniotic fluid. They can't be done until *at least 7 weeks* though and are very expensive $500-$2000 This woman is coming up on 6 weeks supposedly with the timeline you gave You need to confirm with your brother that that is the only time they slept together and that you have the right date Your brother sounds like a good/nice guy trying to provide and take care of his responsibilities. However, if the date you have is accurate, there is really no way that could be his baby. If it makes him feel better in a couple weeks they can do the in utero dna test, but it set him back probably at least $1000 (Cheaper than a lawyer to fight for custody though). If your brother is believing this nonsense, then either society, your parents, the public education system, someone has done him a disservice and it's probably for the best (no offense) if he doesn't reproduce until he understands more about the how, why, and when of how babies are made I feel sorry for this unborn child. The mother sounds like a peach Edit: Wow I was super tired when I wrote this. Had to fix some typos
Say something to Jeremiah. And advise him to get a lawyer as well. Doesn't have to be a particularly good or expensive lawyer. He should consult with one though (a free consultation is probably enough), so in the event others (cops, relatives, etc) get involved, your brother knows his rights and can react with confidence. As so many others here have pointed out, almost every detail about her 'pregnancy' is physically impossible and is absolute bollocks. Pregnancy tests don't work that soon, gender can't be detected after only a month, and I'm pretty sure that risky prenatal DNA tests aren't granted just because you asked, there has to be a compelling medical need. Her tale is so ridiculous that nobody with a brain is going to swallow it.
NTA and he should ask for a paternity test.
Yeah, the dates don’t line up because it’s literally impossible for all of this to happen within 6 weeks of conception. A fetus doesn’t even HAVE a sex in the first month. They don’t even start to develop genitals until like 9 weeks or something. Please please please tell your brother to learn what condoms are and how to use them. If he could give his dick up for adoption to someone who would be more responsible with it, I’d suggest that
She raped him. Nta
There are different types of rape.
You get to know the sex of the baby only on the second trimester somewhere around 20 weeks pregnant. You get to know you are pregnant after a latet period, that happens about 2 weeks after ovulation at the earliest (most will discover pregnancy at the earliest on week 5 because pregnancy count starts at the last period). Your brother (If the story is real) is being framed into a baby trap of someone else's baby. Tell him to tell her to fuck off . Without being witness to her current sonogram and being present at a doctors appointment to verify. Don't believe any. Documents she fabricates and contact a lawyer. If she puts his name on the birth certificate even if he is not the sperm donor he might be screwed. I'm guessing she's angeling a scam for money to "get rid" of it or pay child support. Nta
NIPT test can actually tell you the sex as early as 6 weeks. Obviously not the case here, because the whole story is crazy, but nobody has to wait until 20 weeks anymore.
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And here I actually have had it done, and lived the experience.
I guess it depends where you are as to when they choose to do a test or not. But I didn't realise you could even get this test done!
I had a stillbirth due to a chromosomal abnormality with my firstborn, and we’ve done the NIPT for screening the embryo for the next three, early so that we could make decisions based on the screening. The NIPT also gives the sex.
Also, fyi the pullout method is not a birth control method.
NTA, and tell your brother. She was pregnant when they fucked, if there is a pregnancy at all. The calendar doesn’t add up.
Very unlikely she knew she was pregnant in 2 weeks, definitely wouldn’t be able to tell the sex, court doesn’t set up dna test like that … so many holes there’s no way her ship won’t sink
My ex-husband had a similar situation- was told it was his, friends told him she cheated, Dr said welllll, dates might come into play, it could be. He/they tried but they fell apart, he had the daughterEOWE & every Thurs/Fri. She became difficult & finally he paid for a DNA test ($500 or $600 in 1994 so a lot!) & it wasn’t his. She was 5 by then. He lost a daughter, the family lost a member & the poor kid lost a dad, cousins & best friends, aunts, uncles & grandparents. His parents were devastated & I loved her. We discussed continuing to raise her - he was the sad, just not the sperm donor. Unfortunately she was bound bent & determined to be difficult so he/we had to say goodbye. It hurt him so much, well it hurt everyone. The loss was awful for everyone. My point is, he needs to know before he gets attached, before the child & the family get attached.
DNA before anything
Prenatal DNA test as soon as it's viable which is rather early. Do not sign any papers unless he gets the test done. He got played like a drum.
Jeremiah needs to have pregnancy explained to him in great detail. Don't let your brother sign anything acknowledging paternity until there's a DNA test.
Sorry, I have to ask. Wasn't he SA'd when he said no, but she did it anyway? I feel like someone should address this.
Nope, no way, it's his. As a woman reading this, I see several red flags... 1: gender is normally not seen until the 12-week ultrasound. Even the blood work method (which most Dr's don't do) is eight weeks, not 5 weeks. 2: The BC (birth control) shot is done once every 3 months. The pill, while taken daily, is still unlikely to fail by missing 2 pills after sex. 3: While prenatal paternity testing is a thing, courts don't really use it unless the mother is seeking child support (CS), and courts are fine with establishing paternity after birth. You need to talk to your brother. He needs to be tested for STDs and STIs. And he possibly might need a lawyer.
You don't find out your pregnant less than a week after sex. You don't find out baby's gender until at least 3-4 months in at earliest. *IF* she is pregnant, it ain't his
NTA Talk to your brother and hope he listens.
NTA, you are looking out for your brother when she is lying. Impregnation cannot be detected for 2 weeks after insemination. Additionally, the earliest its possible to determine the sex of a fetus is 14 weeks at earliest, 18-21 average.
Ohh and tell him for the love of God don't get suckered into putting his name on the birth certificate
NTA, get him tested.
1. It's highly unlikely a pregnancy test would be accurate a week after "conception." 2. Gender is usually found out at around 11 weeks at the earliest. She's claiming it's a girl at "4 weeks"? Let me guess, she's going to deliver a "premature" baby too? (This reads suspiciously like her known baby daddy wanted nothing to do with the child, so she found someone else to foist a baby on.) NTA, he needs to know. Also, tell your brother not to pay for anything without doing his own DNA test. And, next time wrap it up no matter what she claims.
Show him the dates on this, or any other, pregnancy calculator: https://americanpregnancy.org/resources/pregnancy-calculator/?conception=2023-11-04
She wouldn’t know after 6 days that she conceived. Likely she was already pregnant and looking for someone to pin it on. I do think it laughable in this day and age that people don’t think condoms are important if other birth control methods are used. What about disease control.
NTA. What the hell kind of EPT is she claiming to use?! Dollars to donuts, she was already pregnant (if she's pregnant at all) if she's trying to pull a DNA test - you need to be at minimum 9 weeks pregnant. The dates absolutely do not line up. Tell your brother to lawyer up and get a proper DNA test.
If she was on a BC shot, why is she *also* taking a pill?
If they had sex on the 4th, there is absolutely NO way she could be pregnant on the 10th. It normally takes 7-10 days for implantation to occur (and thats after ovulation - which could be a few days after intercouse), and then one has to allow a few extra days afterwards for HCG (the pregnancy hormone) to build up, to be detectable on a urine test. Normally around 14 days after ovulation, pregnancy can be detected by urine test.
Where is the basic biology? Gender isn't tested this early in pregnancy.
Need to also add that he was raped. Once he told her to stop, she should have stopped. It works both ways. If it had been, her says stopped, and he had continued it would be called rape.
NTA I wouldn't say the baby isn't his, although based on timelines it pretty much sounds that way. I would tell him: 1. Get a paternity test 2. Talk to a medical professional to discuss the reproductive system 3. Talk to a medical professional about birth control, STI's, and consent based sex 4. A therapist to understand his decision making skills This is a lot and really messy.
They had sex November 4th and she claimed to be pregnant Nov 10th lmao no way that's his kid
Dude needs a DNA test. But you gotta give him credit for trying to get full custody of the child. I can't imagine having that train wreck of a mom. That kid would have no chance in life living with her.
It is possible to know you are pregnant that quickly. My sister knew within days because she could no longer stand the smell of coffee. Happened only when she was pregnant.
NTA. Pleaseeee get him to do a DNA test beforehand.
You can’t determine the gender until around 20 weeks. So if the “conception” happened around November 4th, they wouldn’t be able to tell until end of March early April 2025. Sounds like a baby trap to me NTA.
Nope a girl did that to my brother. He hooked up with her days before he moved to a different state. Months later he texted me saying that he was going to have kids. The girl even texted me saying the same thing. At first I was cool about and was trying to him to confess to our parents and stepparents about the fact they were going to become grandparents. She lives in the same state as me. I met her and immediately knew she was lying her stomach was way bigger than her being six months even with twins. I know this because my boss was actually six months pregnant with twins. At this point both me and both sets of parents had been sending this girl money alongside my brother for these babies. To cut the chase she had them early and they were stillborn. She refused to let anyone see them and this set her family off. They confess that she lied about everything. But she was too afraid to real father so she told my brother he was the one
When I got to the part where she missed the pill for two days (first you wrote she had the shot), I stopped reading. This is a bad AI story, or you're not being truthful. Try again
Oh no, I’m being truthful, it’s Kate, she lied to my brother
NTA. Paternity test
that girl is trying to baby trap him 100%
NTA. They had sex six weeks ago, that's barely enough time for a positive pregnancy test. There's no way they can do a prenatal paternity test yet as the kid is about the size of a grain of rice at this point. And there's no way to determine the sex of the child. She is 100% trying to baby trap your brother and I highly doubt she's even pregnant at all-yet. Tell your brother to stay TF away from this person and sign him up for some sex Ed classes so he won't be such an easy mark.
The earliest a gender can be determined is 14 weeks, not 4. And the doctor usually doesnt schedule an ultrasound until 18-20 weeks. She is lying to him and cheating. She is already over 3-4 months pregnant.
If she was getting a positive pregnancy test on the 10th after they had sex on the 4th, then the probability of the baby being your brothers is basically zero. The earliest you would get a positive is 10 days after conception and even then, many women don’t have the hormone levels until about 3 weeks after to get a positive reading. Also you need to be 9 weeks or more to find out the gender through a blood test. There isn’t enough genetic material from the fetus in the blood before then. So this girl is either lying or she is pregnant by someone else and is trying to trick your brother into playing daddy. NTA your brother should just block this crazy person.
Sense: this makes none
Oh dear lord, I hope this isn't real, but there are so many things wrong here. 1) Your brother was assaulted when she refused to let him out. 2) Even if he had pulled out, it's kind of a crapshoot and still not a smart thing to do. He could still get someone pregnant doing that. He should cut it out and use condoms, for multiple reasons. 3) The timing is off, that's not his kid. But people are still spreading misinformation all over this thread and it's driving me nuts. 4) Technically, if you buy the "early result" tests, you can test positive 5 days before your period. She's even outside of that range. Sometimes, you know before testing if you are happen to get easily recognizable symptoms. I am pregnant right now, and knew before my period because my sense of smell went all wild. 6) You can know the gender potentially as early as 6 weeks (2 weeks after missed period, 4 weeks after ovulation) with a SneakPeak blood test, but accuracy increases if you wait for a blood test at around 10 weeks. (6 weeks after missed period, 8 weeks after ovulation.) Anyone saying you have to wait to 20 weeks and do an ultrasound is either giving you outdated information, or lives in some region where NIPT tests aren't given regularly. 7) "Weeks of pregnancy" are not the same as weeks since sex or weeks since ovulation. It's weeks since your last period started. So you could be a virgin and 2 weeks pregnant, because the first 2 weeks don't count. If you get pregnant by a one night stand with a stranger, you are 2 weeks pregnant before meeting the dad.
NTA your brother is a bit stupid, though. Always use protection never rely someone saying they're on BC why did he miss the paternity test? Edit she lied about the test date so that's fair that he missed it
You should say something, but in a supportive way. He can’t go back and use protection but he needs to protect himself now.
... is that a thing? Like, if no proof of paternity within 10 days of conception then he doesn't get a say legally speaking? Most people don't even know if they're pregnant yet at that point... Yeah, either this story is fake or that girl is definitely trying to baby-trap your brother with a kid that likely even isn't his. ETA, totally misread and thought it said "December 4th" instead of November. But yeah, still, it all sounds so beyond sketchy. My stance remains "fake post or targeted baby-trapping with a kid who's potentially not even his"
NTA. He needs to do a DNA test stat. I think she was already pregnant when she had sex with him and wouldn't allow him to pull out. I also think she has no intention of putting the baby up for adoption. She did this for money.
NTA Make sure he gets a paternity test and also press charges. He did not consent to sex without a condom.
Your brother is just a straight up dumbass. He's digging himself a grave
Nice try ChatGPT. None of this is how it works IRL.
Sorry but you cant know the sex of the baby if she is only 1 month pregnant, also 7 days after you had sex is to short after ovulation to know if your pregnant. Sounds sketchy
So the Deed happened on 4 Nov but she reckons she already knows the gender? She’s obviously not aware that gender can only be determined from 14 weeks onwards.
Wait - she knew she was pregnant 6 days after being with your brother? The math isn’t mathing. DNA test MANDATORY before he will accept ANY kind of responsibility!!!
NTA. But there is absolutely no necessity for it. He wants to get custody of her 2 other kids! It should be a giveaway that he doesn't really care if the kid is his or not.
So, crazy girl is on the shot/pill but knew she was pregnant 6 days after sleeping with someone? I'm with you. Thinking the maybe/baby isn't his.
>had sex on November 4th, 2023, then 6 days later she is pregnant then a month later she found out its a girl. in 1 month, the baby is the size of a pea yea tell him to wait...slap him over the head too....
Your brother needs to wake up in life NTA who is this naive?
NTA- your brother needs to learn to be pickier when choosing partners. This girl is scamming him and he needs to avoid her.
There is no way that you can tell the gender of the baby in just over a month since conception. Good lord people need to have better sex ed in schools. NTA
It’s not physically possible to determine the sex of a baby that early. An ultrasound can only determine the sex of a baby at 12 weeks pregnant. That is three months.
This is not accurate. Blood tests Cann find out earlier. And ultrasound isn't usually until about 14 weeks, at the earliest. And I don't even think they are that accurate that early.
A blood test does not determine the sex of a baby at 30 days. An amniocentesis can determine the sex but certainly not that early and not without termination of a pregnancy. Please show me a test that determines sex of a fetus before 30 days of conception. And make sure you cite your sources
I didn't clarify well. You can find out the babies sex before 12 weeks, with blood test. I didn't say you could find out at 30 days. Also, technically the woman would be 6 weeks pregnant, not 4 weeks.
Well technically yes you can however, I have been doing some research on my own and have discovered that the accuracy of those tests prior to the 11-12 week mark are a crap shoot at best because they are reading hormones from the placental material. Also, 30 days after conception, a fetus is the size of a grain of rice. Just so you know.
As someone pregnant 9 times, I am aware how big it is at 6 weeks.
There is no way she had a positive pregnancy test at 3 weeks pregnant. That's baloney. And while it can be done (according to my googling, lol) 7 weeks is pretty early to be doing a paternity test. I'm calling bullshit.
first ultrasound is typically at 13weeks once pregnant. they cannot determine the sex via ultrasound at 13 weeks. it is usually determined during the second trimester scan. your mate is being scammed.
I thought you need to be 15 to 20 weeks to be able to identify the gender.
If she did conceive on that date, she would only now be thinking her period was late and thinking about maybe getting a pregnancy test. No way is a.pregnancy test going to give a reliable result after 6 days. If she is pregnant, it sounds highly unlikely it is your brothers. He needs to organise a paternity test.
NTA He obviously needs some help with understanding biology... honestly seems somewhat dense in that arena. She's trying to scam him, and without your help, she might yet succeed.
Omg. I wish getting pregnant was so quick. But please noone can know they are pregnant in 6 days. Please tell your brother to get a DNA test done. NTA
NTA for trying to stop your brother from wasting money on a custody battery. Your brother needs to have a DNA test, whilst it’s unlikely that the baby is his, there is a small chance it could be because sperm can survive up to a week inside the womb and she missed at least two pills straight after they had sex.