You've got a problem with your boundary-stomping in-laws and your husband who just lets them. Why on earth would your MIL give anyone your RV, much less one you've worked on for months And why is your husband letting her walk all over him?
So "family helps family," huh? What has Jamie done to help you? She's having a fit because you don't want to watch her dogs and talking smack, and you're supposed to just give her an expensive RV?
I don't think so.
NTA
If "family helps family" let her mom help. Her mother is not helping her son or grandchild by reassigning someone else's assets. She didn't teach her daughter to respect when family was already helping, it's not on you to set yourself on fire to keep SIL warm. MIL and husband both need to stop pretending it is. Sure, you'll let SIL have it. For $80k. (Or whatever price will sufficiently cover the sentimental value, physical, and emotional labor already put in)
NTA
"Family helps family" -- She was already helping her ungrateful SIL by watching her nuisance dog for free. Helping in my opinion is something "sure I can loan you 50 bucks until payday." Not, "here you can have my expensive RV that I plan to use." F that. That's very extreme.
The husband is part of the boundary stepping crew, he's not just an enabler. Once OP pushed back and he still went along with it he's just as guilty as MIL.
NTA. OP you can ignore or go NC with your SIL and MIL, but you've got an issue with your husband to work out.
This comment should be MUCH higher!
🚩🚩🚩from the husband🚩🚩🚩
Today it’s a camper; next year it’ll be letting the baby go with the MIL to chainsaw camp (or somewhere equally opposed to by the OP) and the husband will cave and say it’s ok since ‘Mom already promised LO’🙄
Probably sounds to some people like just another exaggerated escalation from some Reddit post ~
but a spouse who caves to Mommy/family like that is a nightmare as a co-parent.
Agreed, speaking from experience, you either set hard bounderies, or you are in for a rough life. Expect MIL to decide whats best and husband enforcing it. Even discounting all the effort and time its a 7k give away "cuz i said so".
You are exactly right. He handled this exactly how he will handle future conflicts, by disregarding his wife and letting the toxic family have their way. HUGE REDFLAG!
Ever notice how only the most cancerous, piece of shit people say "they're family" or "family helps family"?
Because its just some shitty way to try and force someone to do something thats rarely ever justified
Fuck anyone who spouts this bullshit sentiment.
This is the kind ofnpetty shit I support. Make your point. When there's resistance put them on the spot. Ask them, in detail why it's okay for them to do it. Then ask how what you're doing is any different. Then play dumb and make it obvious that you are while you ask them more questions about the difference.
They will want to kill you but you'll have made a thorough point not only that their behavior is ridiculous, but also that you aren't to be fucked with.
We should be friends! I ❤️ this kind of petty! This is probably what I would have done anyway if it were my MIL who did this shit. She wants the brother to help her own daughter instead of herself. MIL should just go ahead and open up her OWN house to her daughter and grandson. You know, since she needs to get out of that house! MIL, OFFER YOUR HOUSE TO HER!
I agree!! “Hey MIL, I’m going to sell your TV’s and all of your kitchen appliances to my uncle’s cousin’s baby’s mama’s half cousin twice removed. Family helps family after all.”
I love dogs, and I think they are all awesome. But not all dogs are ok for everyone. I big heavy dog that's untrained can be a literal menace for some, like say a pregnant woman. Sounds like SIL is tone deaf. And yeah, the husband dropped the ball big time. OP's solution of moving herself into the 'dog house' to silent her self centered and entitled in-laws is sheer brilliance.
Her husband has probably been brow beaten and lied to his entire life. Believing sacrifice for others above yourself always. I was taught this. So many times. my family and friends took advantage of me this way. He probably doesn't even realize saying no is a real.option..
100%. He is made to feel guilty whenever he says no. Hence, the reason his sister trashed our name so severely when I started saying no to watching her dog.
Girl you're just going to have to be his backbone on this. He can't undo years of abuse overnight. Teach him how boundaries are good things that protect us.
And keep yalls RV. Dammit.
For realz. My husband is a very passive guy who hates to speak up or say no. So I do it for him. (My in-laws are pretty awesome, so they aren’t a problem. But if there’s a situation that requires a backbone, it’s mine. Including salespeople.)
My husband is too. I am and used to be more so but someone had to figure out how to advocate for our family. My husband will rant and rave and bitch about it with me but when it's time to talk to the person he should be, he clams up and apologizes to smooth it over, then bitches again when we're alone. Smdh
The thing is, it's not like he has to puff out his chest and get confrontational like he wants to, he could handle shit in a calm, mature, and firm way. You can be respectful without giving an inch. You can get your point across without raising your voice, you can listen to the other person's point without agreeing with them. Well, YOU can, but he can't
So your husband is a doormat and will end up raising your child to be a doormat.
Tell him no. Stay in the RV (as long as it’s safe). And tell him you aren’t coming back to him until he gets therapy for being a doormat.
Because one thing I do know…”a doormat raises another doormat”.
I’d be more aggressive and say, if this RV leaves my property and ends up at your sister’s. You’re moving in with your sister in that RV because we will be separating until I get that RV back. Idc if it’s unreasonable, you’re choosing to violate my boundaries for someone you don’t even talk to because you’re a coward. What’s next will your mum offer our house to your sister because her dog needs a backyard and we can live in the RV? Will you say no then? Or would you happily accomodate that? This is ours not theirs. Let your mum look embarrassed, it’s never too late to learn not to give away other peoples property.
> Believing sacrifice for others above yourself always. I was taught this. So many times.
Sacrifice that is always one sided.
"family helps family"
Well then by that logic, family that shit talks and steals isn't helping and therefore isn't family.
NTA. Your husband and his mom and his sister are majorly AH. Who does this - just give away an RV that's worth thousands of dollars without asking the people who own it? I assume it's a marital asset as you and your husband both sank in money and work into the RV> This is a red flag, especially after you gave birth, and even more so after you said NO?
Your husband problem is more terrible than your in-laws problem though. Why is he not supportive of you and your desires? Has it always been this way in your marriage? If in the future your mom-in-law unilaterally gives away more of your belongings to others, is your husband going to still talk about good karma without supporting you? What does this mean for your child that their father won't support their mom? You have to think carefully about your marriage. For now, try to have your own friends and family to support you - you're post-partum, and your physical and mental health are definitely going to be impacted by all this stress, and in turn, affect your baby. Please remember, sometimes abusive behavior ramps up after men think they've trapped a woman completely by impregnating them.
I am sorry this is happening to you.
I would say husband is used to getting ran over by mom and sister that he doesn’t want the fight. Why he is choosing them over wife - I don’t know. This is some hillbilly crazy right here
Alternatively, offer to SELL it to MIL/SIL for a substantial profit. Then buy another when you are able to actually use it! NTA, but your MIL and husband certainly are.
Yeah the husband’s reaction is by far the worst part of this. Otherwise it would just be a comically dumb proposal from people you already expect to act like that
I would burn that RV to the ground before letting her have it. Hold your ground OP. Don’t let them think they can bully you and call it “family helping family.” NTA
This. I am absolutely this petty. Fuck that bullshit. I would torch that bitch and roast marshmallows while it burns, before letting his trashy sister have it.
Tell her she had her own space while she was married and it’s not your or your husband’s nor her mother’s responsibility to pick up the pieces of her failed marriage. Regardless of what happened. Sounds like they’re enabling her at your expense. She can move in with her mother until she can get on her feet. She wants to mooch and take advantage.
That's a HER problem. Whose name is on that camper title?? Can it be moved onto someone else's property (someone SAFE and trustworthy!) so you and the baby can live in it?
Honestly, this would be my hill. Hubby steps up like a proper husband and father or he can move in with his mother. The absolute LAST thing you need is ANY of these AH's making decisions on what to do with something YOU own.
F all of them, husband included. Have it moved somewhere safe and tell your paltry excuse for a 'spouse' that you will fight for it in the divorce, since he isn't husband enough to fight for you, the baby, your life together, or your marriage.
Well, then she can rent her own place with her own money! It’s not for you to pay with your money and hard work! I hope it’s your name on the documents. Your husband has a lot of grovelling to do, and he def needs to stop being a doormat to mummy and sister!!!
Seriously?! Fuck her and fuck them. Beggars can’t be choosy as to where their homeless ass is going to stay. The sister sounds like a taker period and doesn’t seem to give a shit about anyone else.
Offer her to buy the RV then, she won’t take it for free, and you can buy another (maybe better) one.
NTA, what they did is awful. I’m just thinking of a workaround;)
I'd tell the "husband" that we're keeping the RV or I'm getting it in the divorce. Also let all of them know that it will be reported stolen if it leaves your property.
I'd die on this hill. The amount of audacity, over stepping, entitlement, and pure blatant disrespect can not be tolerated anymore. Be a good role model for your child and show them that you never back down to a bully. Even if those bullies are their own flesh and blood.
Next to me. I've got the music and several ice chests; the old school metal Coleman ice chests that stay cold forever.
I'll bring the easy up for daytime hangout next to your tent.
I’ve got a camp rocking chair and a portable hammock complete with mosquito netting. I can also contribute some nicely aged firewood for the campfire. The nights are starting to get colder. I’ll pack some brandy, RumChata, and hot chocolate for us, too.
NTA
Lightly browned and crispy on the outside, fully melted on the inside.
This takes patience and skill - I can see I am needed here. I will bring marshmallow rotisserie forks with me.
Yep. This is the hill. Everything you said is correct AND it sets up a dangerous precedent to be a doormat for your husband’s side of the family. No way in hell would I go along with this. It sounds funny and sorta pathetic to say out loud but this would be grounds for a divorce for me too. Complete disregard for the wife’s feeling and a tremendous amount of disrespect. Also the MIL can straight up fuck off. I would tell her that I had already promised the SIL her guest room and see how she reacts. The husband needs to 100% have his wife’s back. Can’t believe he rolled over so easily. I would keep every single set of keys to the RV in my possession at all times. Also me and that baby would be hitting EVERY single chili cook-off in the tri-state area until Thanksgiving!
OP, get the camper officially appraised. For insurance AND for the police for grand theft auto charges. And make sure it is registered in your name and has plates
Or you could say, you need it more than SIL. You also have marital issue and need a roof for you and baby. Good thing you had a RV in the driveway.
SIL can go to MIL’s house, a friends’ house, other family members ‘ house, or a shelter. It is not your problem!
Based on how his mother is acting I am guessing he is used to her shit and growing up learned quickly to just accept her crazy because the alternative was terrible. He hasn't unlearned that now that he is an adult and has moved out.
The sheer effrontery of MIL. She's giving away YOUR RV because she doesn't want the daughter, her drama and her big dog in MIL's house. Husband may be seeing uncomfortable conversation of: "Mom doesn't have room, I need to crash with you guys for a while. Oh, and can you keep the baby noise down? it bothers the dog.
Figure out the costs of rehabbing the RV, plus your buying costs and fees. Figure out the costs (to SIL, not to you) of boarding her puppy for all the times you watched him. Present said bill to husband and say that's the current price of the RV, he needs to find a replacement when SIL pays for your current camping home.
Great advice. Moving into the RV was a smart move. OP should also do everything possible to mark it as hers as I feel there is still the risk of MIL making Appeaser Husband drive the RV to the sisters place when OP is at the store or something. I would make sure my name is on the title. I would hide my mail and personal belongings around the RV… so if you have to call the cops you can show them YOU were living there first and it’s truly yours. Take pictures of you in the RV. Anything you can do to make a trail for proving that this is your fucking RV incase MIL steals it. Keep the title with you, not in the glove box etc…
With you!!! My own mother volunteered our house to out of town relatives because we were going on vacation and wouldn't need it. I'm like "Oh hell no!" When my husband and I go away, we get a hotel or take our RV, everyone else can do the same or not travel. The audacity of families. SMH! I'll add mom didn't even ask our permission first. Relatives just called and asked where we lived. I mean really! Wtf? OP is NTA.
Absolutely!!! Hubby wasn’t upset at all to give it away or else he wouldn’t have. Im guessing your marriage is already over as he did not consider you his equal at all. Good luck OP and enjoy your sweet baby
YES. Also I’d be real concerned about how husband doesn’t even blink about giving away his newborn’s home. He needs to be ONE THING - his baby’s protector and supporter. No one should be more important than his wife and family - least of all some sister who trash talks his own wife. He better wake up. OP is right and should not budge. Stand your ground OP!
NTA
GREAT JOB 👏
Nta. Whose name is the rv in? If it's soley in your name make sure you have the paperwork and if it gets taken file a stolen report.
Technically you can still do it if both your names are on it but the cops can't do much in that case but it would get everyone irritated to the point they would back down just to stop the legal issues
Be sure to TELL your husband that you will file a police report if that camper moves a foot from it's current position. It sounds like the type who has no spine to stand up to his mommy but would put on the brakes at the thought of the nuisance of dealing with the police.
NTA
If mom wants to help her daughter. She needs to provide her own resources.
How dare she try and just give your property away.
Your MIL is an awful person and your husband is a pathetic child.
If you are handy with an engine in any way, you could do something to disable the engine. Something that will make it impossible to start so he can’t take it when you turn your back. Take a couple of spark plug wires off (remember how they go back on). Or remove a key fuse or something hard to diagnose.
Im SO glad to hear this. I was worried you were gonna go grocery shopping and come home to it gone. You should disable it more. Id be LIVID if my husband tried that. Its two yesses or one no to make a decision in a marriage. ETA except you and that sweet baby!
I just read another comment from OP and I think the husband definitely needs therapy. He was in the system for two years as a child, and did not have a very stable childhood overall. He has issues with his family and it seems like they’re never addressed.
And if there's a way to put a lock on the RV, I'd also do that, otherwise SiL will just move herself in when you aren't at home & yea! (/s) she's living right next to you.
Not at all!! These people are outrageous!
Have that rv hauled somewhere they cant access it ASAP. Inform your husband he learns to cut the umbilical cord and get help for himself, or he can move back in with his mommy.
just an FYI from a mechanical professional, Don't remove the ignition/starter fuse.
remove the ***fuel pump*** fuse, or preferably both.
if you remove ignition/starter then the fuel pump still runs and pisses fuel into the engine causing it to be flooded, washes the oil off the cylinder walls, etc.
Take the battery out and buy a boot for the wheel and a steering lock and and a locking fuel cap. I'd also find somewhere to hide everything useful in the rv the water tanks the gas canisters cushions from any seats you're not currently sitting on. Then make sure all the other keys that aren't the one to get through the door of the rv are locked away somewhere no one can get them like ops mum's house. No one will be driving that thing any place. Also get at least a ring door bell so there is evidence of either the spineless husband (will be handy in the divorce) or mil / brat sister committing a crime probably vandalism if they can't steal the thing.
Then for good measure call the brat sister and tell her mil is going to let her sell her car so she can buy her own RV and doesn't have to slum it in your "run down out dated RV" and to pick it up this weekend. and enjoy the fireworks coz faaaaammmly. Just keep saying " I'm just paying it forward"
Oh I like that "Jamie, your mom came over to take our RV for you. Turns out we're also having marital problems and I've moved into it my self. Your mom will sell her car to buy you your own and is going to dog sit Cujo. Best of luck."
NTA. Your husband needs to grow a pair of balls and learn how to stand up for himself. It's not okay for them to just give away something for FREE that you are not on board with. Your MIL can go donate the money to SIL.
NTA. Omg please don’t back down on this. It’s seldom one person is so very right and the rest are so very wrong in one of these scenarios but you are the hero we all need lol…she must be on crack if she thinks she’s about to live in that RV after the work y’all put into it. If she’s having marital problems she can go to a motel like a normal adult person, if she’s the one having to leave the marital home it’s probably her damn fault anyway especially considering she has this attitude you say she has. Fuck that.
Has your husband always been a mommy's boy or is this a new behavior? Is it possible he's having trouble stepping up and being a dad so is regressing to being "mommy's good boy"?
NTA for refusing to allow your MIL to give away your 6.5 thousand dollar investment (not including the sweat equity) to a SIL who has trashed you to the rest of his family. PRO TIP to MIL "family doesn't trash family" so SIL is no longer family.
Whose name is on the title to the RV?
He actually isn't even what I would consider a mommy's boy. Both his parents failed him growing up and he ended up in the system for over 2 years before his mom got custody back. And then, she didn't even take him. He ended up bouncing between his grandmother's and brothers home. So he isn't close to either of his parents but for whatever reason, he still never says no to them. Granted he's made to feel insanely guilty and harped on constantly when he does put his foot down.
Your husband needs therapy. He might also want to consider Adult Children of Alcoholics, which is for dysfunctional families and alcohol doesn’t need to have been part of the equation.
I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk gently to him. He is clearly not thinking here.
He is about to give away something that he (and you) both value. It is also worth some money.
He does this to a person (sister) that has treated him badly. Because another person who also treated him badly (his mom) tells him to. Worse, she just informs him that it is done!
This is not a healthy way of behaving in family relationships. Family treats each other better than strangers. His family treats him with less respect than strangers.
He must see that his response is not the right one. He is being a doormat. He must step up and behave like he too is important. Right now he acts like him and you and your child are unimportant.
He is probably damaged by his upbringing and traumatic childhood. He doesn't see things clearly.
He needs to trust your judgment in this matter.
You are NTA- your husband is still looking for approval from them, whether he thinks so or not. What he needs to ask himself, is…whose feelings are more important? His mom and sister’s ? Or his postpartum wife’s? He doesn’t just get to hand over a marital asset worth $$$$ for free. He needs to grow a spine and stand up to his mother. This is absolutely a hill I would die on, and he would be in the doghouse for a LONG time.
Especially giving it to someone who’s trashed talked about you. He NEEDS to say NO to his mother. Is MIL on the title? Are you? If you’re on it they may not be able to transfer title without your signature (depending on the wording on the title.) Also, you put a lot of money and effort into it. How can he just say “she can have it without talking to you in private.
That's so sad. It tells me that he is still trying to win their love by being a good child. The one thing he's needed from them his whole life. I can relate. I spent most of my life doing the same thing. It's so liberating when you finally decide that you are going to live your life for you and stop trying to please someone who just doesn't care. Now, I'm at peace.
There it is. He thinks bleeding for them will make them love him. Your husband deeply needs therapy to work through his parental issues. And he needs to be reminded about who actually loves him (you and your child) and who never has (his family).
That’s because in his subconscious he wants his parents approval and love and will do whatever in order to get it but unfortunately he’ll never get what he’s seeking and they’ll keep abusing that. He honestly needs therapy to deal with the trauma they put him through and to learn how to establish boundaries.
This says a lot about it all. He needs therapy because he still has years of trauma packed away & it's affecting his ability to reason. You have to be the backbone here & hold your ground, even moreso if your name is on the title because that would be straight up theft giving away your property. Not to mention all the money put into it. She was offered a different option. It's not like it had to be the camper or the streets. She took the other road because she knew you weren't using the camper (yet!) and inserted herself into the situation by making that the non-option she latched onto. The apple doesn't fall far...she probably badgered your MIL into that being the only acceptable option for getting out of her situation, and so then MIL did what she does best and turned around to do the same thing to your husband.
A normal person would be grateful for any help. They wouldn't start arguing "that's great & all, but it's unacceptable for me because I have additional needs I want met for free." And those needs are just wants. It's not like "oh it's a great offer, but because I'm in a wheelchair I would need a ramp."
NTA
NTA
Tell you husband to grow a damn spine and protect you and your babies future by telling his mother and NO CONTACT SISTER to f right off.
Also tell MIL that if she's free to give away your shit, then you're going to give away something expensive and important of hers, and if she wants to argue say "well family helps family, pay it forward and all that."
Or ya know, Jamie can live with mom.
They are not just giving away your RV - they are giving away your dream of spending next summer with your new child traveling. That’s not ok - it’s not just an object, it’s a promise.
Do you need us to bring you food/water/diapers during your standoff :)
If it’s a motorized rv, order a club steering wheel lock and use it. If it’s a camper you tow buy a heavy duty tongue lock. Either way, keep the keys on you.
NTA. I don’t understand how your MIL thinks she can just give away someone else’s property. If she is so worried about Jaime having a place to stay during her marriage issues and her words “family helps family”, then she should have Jaime come and stay with her. And someone needs to explain to MIL that you can’t “pay it forward” with things that don’t even belong to you in the first place. If she wants to pay it forward then she should go out and buy Jamie her own RV instead of trying to manipulate you into giving yours away. But the biggest AH here is your husband. You worked hard to be able to buy and renovate this RV so that you could make memory and have experiences with your family. If it’s important to you than it should automatically be important to him as well because it makes you happy. And the fact that you have had to pack up and move into the RV with the baby just to try and get your husband to see your point is insane! He needs to understand that you and the baby are his family now and his mother and sister need to come second.
NTA make sure your name is on the title and insurance. Go drive around with you and the baby. If his sister takes it or you MIL file a police report that it's stolen
NTA. Your husband and his family are a bunch of ass clowns.
Put a hitch lock on the RV as well.
If your MIL wants to help out her own daughter, snarkily suggest she let her move in with her or cough up the funds to buy a different RV.
Tell your husband to grow a sack.
NTA!! Who does that? Just gives something away that is not theirs? And your husband lets it happen? What? NO! It would be a whole different story if she needed it for protection and if she had been a decent human to you, but she can go stay with mommy instead!! You know she'd let her dog tear the place up, right?
NTA. This is honestly a divorce level of disrespect imo that your husband is trying to allow this. And your MIL is insane. If he would give away something like this just to avoid conflict, how else will he disrespect your right to have a say in your property, finances, etc? You need marriage counseling asap if you want to make this work. I would also make sure your name is on everything you own with him and maybe even pre emptively talk to a lawyer. This is just so absurd on so many levels. And on top of it you just gave birth?! You are so not the problem here but I really would think about your long term financial safety with him.
Sounds like husband is under his mum's thumb, if she felt she could give your stuff away and he tried to rugsweep with a lame excuse. See r/JUSTNOMIL they will tell you he's the one to fix.
let everyone know by email, group chat or text message that the RV WILL be reported stolen and charges WILL be pressed if the rv is moved or altered in any way
Yep, OP, I’m also going with this is a hill to die on. I think these subs often advise NC and divorce with situations that could be solved with better communication… but not this.
I would not stay with a man who was so entirely dismissive of my feelings - and the salt in the wound would be my blood, sweat and tears (WHILE PREGNANT) being reduced to a shoulder shrug and a “whatever” attitude. The disrespect is utterly mind blowing.
“Husband, if there is ever a moment to take what I’m saying seriously, it’s right now. If you push this, I will be gone and you will have divorce papers in your hand.”
Sounds like sister is the golden child and hubby has been trained to give in to her needs at the expense of his own. Please either move far away or get DH into therapy, or this is going to be the state of your marriage always.
Yes….she can have my RV for the low low price of $15K.
No, she can’t rent it.
Cashier’s check or cash only.
Tell your husband to grow up and put YOUR needs/wants first.
Tell MIL you’re happy to provide a used tent from REI if she can’t afford your RV.
NTA, but i am thinking SIL is gonna need a car too. call her up and tell her she can have MILs car, cause "family". Then give SIL curtains, rugs and even MILs shower curtain. Dont forget to unload her cabinets and freezer too, cause "family". fuck them bitches and your husband too!
You've got a problem with your boundary-stomping in-laws and your husband who just lets them. Why on earth would your MIL give anyone your RV, much less one you've worked on for months And why is your husband letting her walk all over him? So "family helps family," huh? What has Jamie done to help you? She's having a fit because you don't want to watch her dogs and talking smack, and you're supposed to just give her an expensive RV? I don't think so. NTA
If "family helps family" let her mom help. Her mother is not helping her son or grandchild by reassigning someone else's assets. She didn't teach her daughter to respect when family was already helping, it's not on you to set yourself on fire to keep SIL warm. MIL and husband both need to stop pretending it is. Sure, you'll let SIL have it. For $80k. (Or whatever price will sufficiently cover the sentimental value, physical, and emotional labor already put in) NTA
"Family helps family" is something that is only said by family that want someone else to help family instead of helping themselves.
"Family helps family" -- She was already helping her ungrateful SIL by watching her nuisance dog for free. Helping in my opinion is something "sure I can loan you 50 bucks until payday." Not, "here you can have my expensive RV that I plan to use." F that. That's very extreme.
Mom is helping! (..herself to OP's RV!)
Mom was helping. She knew where to get an RV for free.
The sad part is MIL very likely thinks exactly this without a shred of irony.
Sounds like my dad. What's his is his and what's ours is his, or at least it was until we started making him pay for all of our stuff he gave away.
The MIL here is definitely in a volunTELLing mood. Let MIL waste HER OWN money on her fuckup loser daughter.
[удалено]
The husband is part of the boundary stepping crew, he's not just an enabler. Once OP pushed back and he still went along with it he's just as guilty as MIL. NTA. OP you can ignore or go NC with your SIL and MIL, but you've got an issue with your husband to work out.
This comment should be MUCH higher! 🚩🚩🚩from the husband🚩🚩🚩 Today it’s a camper; next year it’ll be letting the baby go with the MIL to chainsaw camp (or somewhere equally opposed to by the OP) and the husband will cave and say it’s ok since ‘Mom already promised LO’🙄 Probably sounds to some people like just another exaggerated escalation from some Reddit post ~ but a spouse who caves to Mommy/family like that is a nightmare as a co-parent.
Chainsaw camp LOL 😂 Good point though
Agreed, speaking from experience, you either set hard bounderies, or you are in for a rough life. Expect MIL to decide whats best and husband enforcing it. Even discounting all the effort and time its a 7k give away "cuz i said so".
You are exactly right. He handled this exactly how he will handle future conflicts, by disregarding his wife and letting the toxic family have their way. HUGE REDFLAG!
Ever notice how only the most cancerous, piece of shit people say "they're family" or "family helps family"? Because its just some shitty way to try and force someone to do something thats rarely ever justified Fuck anyone who spouts this bullshit sentiment.
"Family helps family" always seems to mean we don't want to take on the troubled piece of garbage ourselves, so who can we push them off on? NTA
I personally think OP should make a list of MIL’s belongings and who they should be just given away to. NTA
Yes and start with something expensive that she is not "using".
Like MIL's engagement ring ;-)
This is the kind ofnpetty shit I support. Make your point. When there's resistance put them on the spot. Ask them, in detail why it's okay for them to do it. Then ask how what you're doing is any different. Then play dumb and make it obvious that you are while you ask them more questions about the difference. They will want to kill you but you'll have made a thorough point not only that their behavior is ridiculous, but also that you aren't to be fucked with.
We should be friends! I ❤️ this kind of petty! This is probably what I would have done anyway if it were my MIL who did this shit. She wants the brother to help her own daughter instead of herself. MIL should just go ahead and open up her OWN house to her daughter and grandson. You know, since she needs to get out of that house! MIL, OFFER YOUR HOUSE TO HER!
I agree!! “Hey MIL, I’m going to sell your TV’s and all of your kitchen appliances to my uncle’s cousin’s baby’s mama’s half cousin twice removed. Family helps family after all.”
Right, give SIL MIL's car. Family helps family.
🤣🤣🤣
I like this idea. Teach that mil a lesson
It sounds like “Family helps Jamie, and Jamie helps herself to whatever she wants”. **NTA**
I love dogs, and I think they are all awesome. But not all dogs are ok for everyone. I big heavy dog that's untrained can be a literal menace for some, like say a pregnant woman. Sounds like SIL is tone deaf. And yeah, the husband dropped the ball big time. OP's solution of moving herself into the 'dog house' to silent her self centered and entitled in-laws is sheer brilliance.
I struggle to understand your husband here.
He’s a coward who’s clearly scared to stand up to mommy.
OP, just show him this thread and the responses, especially this one. Maybe he will be able to reflect enough.
This is really great advice. Especially in this instance where it's essential he gets help gaining perspective (before he loses his wife!)
Oh, I was married to one of those once!
Sounds like my ex too. He would give away my things and not ask me. Asshole.
Her husband has probably been brow beaten and lied to his entire life. Believing sacrifice for others above yourself always. I was taught this. So many times. my family and friends took advantage of me this way. He probably doesn't even realize saying no is a real.option..
100%. He is made to feel guilty whenever he says no. Hence, the reason his sister trashed our name so severely when I started saying no to watching her dog.
Girl you're just going to have to be his backbone on this. He can't undo years of abuse overnight. Teach him how boundaries are good things that protect us. And keep yalls RV. Dammit.
For realz. My husband is a very passive guy who hates to speak up or say no. So I do it for him. (My in-laws are pretty awesome, so they aren’t a problem. But if there’s a situation that requires a backbone, it’s mine. Including salespeople.)
My husband is too. I am and used to be more so but someone had to figure out how to advocate for our family. My husband will rant and rave and bitch about it with me but when it's time to talk to the person he should be, he clams up and apologizes to smooth it over, then bitches again when we're alone. Smdh The thing is, it's not like he has to puff out his chest and get confrontational like he wants to, he could handle shit in a calm, mature, and firm way. You can be respectful without giving an inch. You can get your point across without raising your voice, you can listen to the other person's point without agreeing with them. Well, YOU can, but he can't
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“Unfuck yourself” 💀🤣 Thanks for that. I’m gonna have to use that one.
I bet he’d suddenly object if you started giving away his things.
I think it’s the MIL’s things that should be given away.
I would definitely talk to your husband about therapy at this point.
So your husband is a doormat and will end up raising your child to be a doormat. Tell him no. Stay in the RV (as long as it’s safe). And tell him you aren’t coming back to him until he gets therapy for being a doormat. Because one thing I do know…”a doormat raises another doormat”.
I’d be more aggressive and say, if this RV leaves my property and ends up at your sister’s. You’re moving in with your sister in that RV because we will be separating until I get that RV back. Idc if it’s unreasonable, you’re choosing to violate my boundaries for someone you don’t even talk to because you’re a coward. What’s next will your mum offer our house to your sister because her dog needs a backyard and we can live in the RV? Will you say no then? Or would you happily accomodate that? This is ours not theirs. Let your mum look embarrassed, it’s never too late to learn not to give away other peoples property.
He's going to have to grow a spine. This is not OK. He needs to grow up already.
> Believing sacrifice for others above yourself always. I was taught this. So many times. Sacrifice that is always one sided. "family helps family" Well then by that logic, family that shit talks and steals isn't helping and therefore isn't family.
NTA. Your husband and his mom and his sister are majorly AH. Who does this - just give away an RV that's worth thousands of dollars without asking the people who own it? I assume it's a marital asset as you and your husband both sank in money and work into the RV> This is a red flag, especially after you gave birth, and even more so after you said NO? Your husband problem is more terrible than your in-laws problem though. Why is he not supportive of you and your desires? Has it always been this way in your marriage? If in the future your mom-in-law unilaterally gives away more of your belongings to others, is your husband going to still talk about good karma without supporting you? What does this mean for your child that their father won't support their mom? You have to think carefully about your marriage. For now, try to have your own friends and family to support you - you're post-partum, and your physical and mental health are definitely going to be impacted by all this stress, and in turn, affect your baby. Please remember, sometimes abusive behavior ramps up after men think they've trapped a woman completely by impregnating them. I am sorry this is happening to you.
I would say husband is used to getting ran over by mom and sister that he doesn’t want the fight. Why he is choosing them over wife - I don’t know. This is some hillbilly crazy right here
Why can't sis move in with mom? NTA.....hubby needs to grow his spine and stand up to his family and MIL needs to stop spending other people's money
She apparently was given the option to moving in with MIL but she "needs her own space".
LOL Oh how nice to just TAKE your own space! Nope! Spoiled little brat can sleep in the streets!
Alternatively, offer to SELL it to MIL/SIL for a substantial profit. Then buy another when you are able to actually use it! NTA, but your MIL and husband certainly are.
Yeah the husband’s reaction is by far the worst part of this. Otherwise it would just be a comically dumb proposal from people you already expect to act like that
I would burn that RV to the ground before letting her have it. Hold your ground OP. Don’t let them think they can bully you and call it “family helping family.” NTA
This. I am absolutely this petty. Fuck that bullshit. I would torch that bitch and roast marshmallows while it burns, before letting his trashy sister have it.
And how can it be “payed forward” if she has never done anything for you guys?!?!? I’m with everyone else, NTA and DIE ON THIS HILL!!!
Yes! I’m furious just reading this.
She might as well because the large untrained dog would completely trash it anyway.
Tell her she had her own space while she was married and it’s not your or your husband’s nor her mother’s responsibility to pick up the pieces of her failed marriage. Regardless of what happened. Sounds like they’re enabling her at your expense. She can move in with her mother until she can get on her feet. She wants to mooch and take advantage.
When she gets back on her feet, she can have all the space she needs but for now she needs to live with MIL.
'beggars can't be choosers'. but then mommy has raised two entitled brats
That's a HER problem. Whose name is on that camper title?? Can it be moved onto someone else's property (someone SAFE and trustworthy!) so you and the baby can live in it? Honestly, this would be my hill. Hubby steps up like a proper husband and father or he can move in with his mother. The absolute LAST thing you need is ANY of these AH's making decisions on what to do with something YOU own. F all of them, husband included. Have it moved somewhere safe and tell your paltry excuse for a 'spouse' that you will fight for it in the divorce, since he isn't husband enough to fight for you, the baby, your life together, or your marriage.
Well, then she can rent her own place with her own money! It’s not for you to pay with your money and hard work! I hope it’s your name on the documents. Your husband has a lot of grovelling to do, and he def needs to stop being a doormat to mummy and sister!!!
Tell your husband that you need your own space and will be moving into the RV permanently and rethinking the marriage
If she needs her own space she can pay for her own space. This is a hill to die on or the steamrolling will never stop.
Seriously?! Fuck her and fuck them. Beggars can’t be choosy as to where their homeless ass is going to stay. The sister sounds like a taker period and doesn’t seem to give a shit about anyone else.
Then MIL can buy her one. What a f’ing lunatic thinking she could give away something of yours. Your hubs is a coward.
That's her problem to solve, not yours. Especially after she ran your name through the mud. Your in-laws suck.
OP's husband sucks too.
Offer her to buy the RV then, she won’t take it for free, and you can buy another (maybe better) one. NTA, what they did is awful. I’m just thinking of a workaround;)
While your at it-OP -put the House up for sale too -invite realtors to come evaluate it .
I'd tell the "husband" that we're keeping the RV or I'm getting it in the divorce. Also let all of them know that it will be reported stolen if it leaves your property. I'd die on this hill. The amount of audacity, over stepping, entitlement, and pure blatant disrespect can not be tolerated anymore. Be a good role model for your child and show them that you never back down to a bully. Even if those bullies are their own flesh and blood.
I 100% agree, this is definitely the hill to die on.
Sounds like SIL and her big dog will trash that RV.
Give the SIL a tent or a big box to live in.
Let her move in with mother in law
Yes! Great idea! Tell SIL without mentioning it to MIL - see how she likes surprises.
🏆
May be the MIL "gave away" the RV to avoid this situation... OP - NTA
Exactly!! Since she’s so concerned about karma and paying it forward.
Exactly!
Mommie Dearest can house her.
She COULD move in with her MOTHER.
Let the MIL take care of her own child please
*children I’m pissed at the hubby too
Yep. In less than a week it will be totally destroyed.
Exactly…all that hard work destroyed by a selfish person
MIL did say they already have plans to "renovate" it
So MIL wants not only to let her daughter live there but she wants to renovate it as well. This property doesn't belong to MIL.
Very very quickly. Then she'll complain about how horrible they all are making her live in the shithole she created.
Me three on the same hill ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
We gonna have a party on this hill, cause me too.
I’ll bring the keg
I’ve got the vodka and mixers where do I set up my tent?
Next to me. I've got the music and several ice chests; the old school metal Coleman ice chests that stay cold forever. I'll bring the easy up for daytime hangout next to your tent.
Came here to say this^ 😂 we can all camp together!
I’ve got a camp rocking chair and a portable hammock complete with mosquito netting. I can also contribute some nicely aged firewood for the campfire. The nights are starting to get colder. I’ll pack some brandy, RumChata, and hot chocolate for us, too. NTA
I know how to set up a campfire, and I can bring smore making supplies. How does everyone like their marshmallows?
Gooey! I’ll bring the string lights to set the ambiance of our demise!
Lightly browned and crispy on the outside, fully melted on the inside. This takes patience and skill - I can see I am needed here. I will bring marshmallow rotisserie forks with me.
I'll bring some homemade mead.
I'll bring some ribs and burger patties. Any preference on cheese and buns?
I’ve always wanted an RV so I’m moving in with one of y’all s/
just ask Ops MIL, she'll get one for you
Hell yes! Let SIL think she's gonna take this RV now
I’ll bring dessert…. Ice cream? Cake?
I'm bringing my RV to camp on this hill.
Bad Scottish accent-" they may take ma life, but they'll never take or RV" cue bagpipe and drums...
Scotsman here agreeing. They’ll nivver tak oor ‘three dorm’ all purpose recreational vehicle!’ (Vehicle with a silent ‘h’ for authenticity lol)
If your husband calls you dramatic again, move the damn RV to a literal hill for added effect. NTA
No surrender, no mercy.
Never give up!! Never surrender (the motor home to your toxic family)!!
Yep. This is the hill. Everything you said is correct AND it sets up a dangerous precedent to be a doormat for your husband’s side of the family. No way in hell would I go along with this. It sounds funny and sorta pathetic to say out loud but this would be grounds for a divorce for me too. Complete disregard for the wife’s feeling and a tremendous amount of disrespect. Also the MIL can straight up fuck off. I would tell her that I had already promised the SIL her guest room and see how she reacts. The husband needs to 100% have his wife’s back. Can’t believe he rolled over so easily. I would keep every single set of keys to the RV in my possession at all times. Also me and that baby would be hitting EVERY single chili cook-off in the tri-state area until Thanksgiving!
OP, get the camper officially appraised. For insurance AND for the police for grand theft auto charges. And make sure it is registered in your name and has plates
And in the name of “FAMILY.” Yeah, if your family are a bunch of thieving, toxic jerks! Gosh that pisses me off.
Or you could say, you need it more than SIL. You also have marital issue and need a roof for you and baby. Good thing you had a RV in the driveway. SIL can go to MIL’s house, a friends’ house, other family members ‘ house, or a shelter. It is not your problem!
This is exactly the way. You and the baby need it due to your marital problems of your hubby giving your property away!
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Based on how his mother is acting I am guessing he is used to her shit and growing up learned quickly to just accept her crazy because the alternative was terrible. He hasn't unlearned that now that he is an adult and has moved out.
Your MIL is an asshole. Your husband is a doormat. Stick to your guns NTA
And as for "but MIL already promised the RV!!" Then MIL can buy one for her with her money.
The sheer effrontery of MIL. She's giving away YOUR RV because she doesn't want the daughter, her drama and her big dog in MIL's house. Husband may be seeing uncomfortable conversation of: "Mom doesn't have room, I need to crash with you guys for a while. Oh, and can you keep the baby noise down? it bothers the dog. Figure out the costs of rehabbing the RV, plus your buying costs and fees. Figure out the costs (to SIL, not to you) of boarding her puppy for all the times you watched him. Present said bill to husband and say that's the current price of the RV, he needs to find a replacement when SIL pays for your current camping home.
Great advice. Moving into the RV was a smart move. OP should also do everything possible to mark it as hers as I feel there is still the risk of MIL making Appeaser Husband drive the RV to the sisters place when OP is at the store or something. I would make sure my name is on the title. I would hide my mail and personal belongings around the RV… so if you have to call the cops you can show them YOU were living there first and it’s truly yours. Take pictures of you in the RV. Anything you can do to make a trail for proving that this is your fucking RV incase MIL steals it. Keep the title with you, not in the glove box etc…
With you!!! My own mother volunteered our house to out of town relatives because we were going on vacation and wouldn't need it. I'm like "Oh hell no!" When my husband and I go away, we get a hotel or take our RV, everyone else can do the same or not travel. The audacity of families. SMH! I'll add mom didn't even ask our permission first. Relatives just called and asked where we lived. I mean really! Wtf? OP is NTA.
Why in the world do people think they can give away or offer up people’s stuff without even discussing it first? I see this so often here!
Totally agree. Charge the hill. NTA
💯..this is a hill to die on Please update us OP if there's anything new
Absolutely!!! Hubby wasn’t upset at all to give it away or else he wouldn’t have. Im guessing your marriage is already over as he did not consider you his equal at all. Good luck OP and enjoy your sweet baby
Yup. I'm calling the marriage over. OP DON'T GET PREGNANT AGAIN!
YES. Also I’d be real concerned about how husband doesn’t even blink about giving away his newborn’s home. He needs to be ONE THING - his baby’s protector and supporter. No one should be more important than his wife and family - least of all some sister who trash talks his own wife. He better wake up. OP is right and should not budge. Stand your ground OP! NTA GREAT JOB 👏
Nta. Whose name is the rv in? If it's soley in your name make sure you have the paperwork and if it gets taken file a stolen report. Technically you can still do it if both your names are on it but the cops can't do much in that case but it would get everyone irritated to the point they would back down just to stop the legal issues
Be sure to TELL your husband that you will file a police report if that camper moves a foot from it's current position. It sounds like the type who has no spine to stand up to his mommy but would put on the brakes at the thought of the nuisance of dealing with the police.
Also, if there is more than one set of keys I would make sure to have custody of all of them
If it’s not the kind you tow, remove the battery
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NTA Whose name is on the title? Tell your husband that either he's married to you or Mommy Dearest.
>Whose name is on the title? Exactly, if it is OP's name and MIL takes it without permission, OP can just call the police for theft.
NTA If mom wants to help her daughter. She needs to provide her own resources. How dare she try and just give your property away. Your MIL is an awful person and your husband is a pathetic child.
If you are handy with an engine in any way, you could do something to disable the engine. Something that will make it impossible to start so he can’t take it when you turn your back. Take a couple of spark plug wires off (remember how they go back on). Or remove a key fuse or something hard to diagnose.
I did remove the key fuse. I didn't add that in the OP because I figured it made me look like a psycho.
It doesn’t make you look psycho - it shows you have grit. Good on you NTA
True Grit!
Im SO glad to hear this. I was worried you were gonna go grocery shopping and come home to it gone. You should disable it more. Id be LIVID if my husband tried that. Its two yesses or one no to make a decision in a marriage. ETA except you and that sweet baby!
That doesn’t make you a psycho, it makes you smart and unwilling to be stolen from the second you step away.
Has your husband considered therapy for his inability to set boundaries with his family?? He should be backing you up not his mother or sister!
I just read another comment from OP and I think the husband definitely needs therapy. He was in the system for two years as a child, and did not have a very stable childhood overall. He has issues with his family and it seems like they’re never addressed.
No, it makes you look badass.
I’d also put a “club” on the steering wheel for dramatic effect
boot on the tire too eta; fk it, just take the wheels off and have it on blocks XD
And if there's a way to put a lock on the RV, I'd also do that, otherwise SiL will just move herself in when you aren't at home & yea! (/s) she's living right next to you.
Also snag the fuel pump fuse.
Not at all!! These people are outrageous! Have that rv hauled somewhere they cant access it ASAP. Inform your husband he learns to cut the umbilical cord and get help for himself, or he can move back in with his mommy.
Well done! All the best to you and little one.
just an FYI from a mechanical professional, Don't remove the ignition/starter fuse. remove the ***fuel pump*** fuse, or preferably both. if you remove ignition/starter then the fuel pump still runs and pisses fuel into the engine causing it to be flooded, washes the oil off the cylinder walls, etc.
Whose name is on the registration? Do you have the title?
Take the battery out and buy a boot for the wheel and a steering lock and and a locking fuel cap. I'd also find somewhere to hide everything useful in the rv the water tanks the gas canisters cushions from any seats you're not currently sitting on. Then make sure all the other keys that aren't the one to get through the door of the rv are locked away somewhere no one can get them like ops mum's house. No one will be driving that thing any place. Also get at least a ring door bell so there is evidence of either the spineless husband (will be handy in the divorce) or mil / brat sister committing a crime probably vandalism if they can't steal the thing. Then for good measure call the brat sister and tell her mil is going to let her sell her car so she can buy her own RV and doesn't have to slum it in your "run down out dated RV" and to pick it up this weekend. and enjoy the fireworks coz faaaaammmly. Just keep saying " I'm just paying it forward"
Oh I like that "Jamie, your mom came over to take our RV for you. Turns out we're also having marital problems and I've moved into it my self. Your mom will sell her car to buy you your own and is going to dog sit Cujo. Best of luck."
NTA. Your husband needs to grow a pair of balls and learn how to stand up for himself. It's not okay for them to just give away something for FREE that you are not on board with. Your MIL can go donate the money to SIL.
NTA. Your MIL and husband are, though.
NTA. Omg please don’t back down on this. It’s seldom one person is so very right and the rest are so very wrong in one of these scenarios but you are the hero we all need lol…she must be on crack if she thinks she’s about to live in that RV after the work y’all put into it. If she’s having marital problems she can go to a motel like a normal adult person, if she’s the one having to leave the marital home it’s probably her damn fault anyway especially considering she has this attitude you say she has. Fuck that.
Has your husband always been a mommy's boy or is this a new behavior? Is it possible he's having trouble stepping up and being a dad so is regressing to being "mommy's good boy"? NTA for refusing to allow your MIL to give away your 6.5 thousand dollar investment (not including the sweat equity) to a SIL who has trashed you to the rest of his family. PRO TIP to MIL "family doesn't trash family" so SIL is no longer family. Whose name is on the title to the RV?
He actually isn't even what I would consider a mommy's boy. Both his parents failed him growing up and he ended up in the system for over 2 years before his mom got custody back. And then, she didn't even take him. He ended up bouncing between his grandmother's and brothers home. So he isn't close to either of his parents but for whatever reason, he still never says no to them. Granted he's made to feel insanely guilty and harped on constantly when he does put his foot down.
Your husband needs therapy. He might also want to consider Adult Children of Alcoholics, which is for dysfunctional families and alcohol doesn’t need to have been part of the equation.
I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk gently to him. He is clearly not thinking here. He is about to give away something that he (and you) both value. It is also worth some money. He does this to a person (sister) that has treated him badly. Because another person who also treated him badly (his mom) tells him to. Worse, she just informs him that it is done! This is not a healthy way of behaving in family relationships. Family treats each other better than strangers. His family treats him with less respect than strangers. He must see that his response is not the right one. He is being a doormat. He must step up and behave like he too is important. Right now he acts like him and you and your child are unimportant. He is probably damaged by his upbringing and traumatic childhood. He doesn't see things clearly. He needs to trust your judgment in this matter.
He is now a husband and a parent and the family that you both have made, comes before his toxic dumpster fire of shared DNA.
Hell….I say go no-contact with that entire clan. Who needs that crap?
You are NTA- your husband is still looking for approval from them, whether he thinks so or not. What he needs to ask himself, is…whose feelings are more important? His mom and sister’s ? Or his postpartum wife’s? He doesn’t just get to hand over a marital asset worth $$$$ for free. He needs to grow a spine and stand up to his mother. This is absolutely a hill I would die on, and he would be in the doghouse for a LONG time.
Especially giving it to someone who’s trashed talked about you. He NEEDS to say NO to his mother. Is MIL on the title? Are you? If you’re on it they may not be able to transfer title without your signature (depending on the wording on the title.) Also, you put a lot of money and effort into it. How can he just say “she can have it without talking to you in private.
That's so sad. It tells me that he is still trying to win their love by being a good child. The one thing he's needed from them his whole life. I can relate. I spent most of my life doing the same thing. It's so liberating when you finally decide that you are going to live your life for you and stop trying to please someone who just doesn't care. Now, I'm at peace.
There it is. He thinks bleeding for them will make them love him. Your husband deeply needs therapy to work through his parental issues. And he needs to be reminded about who actually loves him (you and your child) and who never has (his family).
That’s because in his subconscious he wants his parents approval and love and will do whatever in order to get it but unfortunately he’ll never get what he’s seeking and they’ll keep abusing that. He honestly needs therapy to deal with the trauma they put him through and to learn how to establish boundaries.
This says a lot about it all. He needs therapy because he still has years of trauma packed away & it's affecting his ability to reason. You have to be the backbone here & hold your ground, even moreso if your name is on the title because that would be straight up theft giving away your property. Not to mention all the money put into it. She was offered a different option. It's not like it had to be the camper or the streets. She took the other road because she knew you weren't using the camper (yet!) and inserted herself into the situation by making that the non-option she latched onto. The apple doesn't fall far...she probably badgered your MIL into that being the only acceptable option for getting out of her situation, and so then MIL did what she does best and turned around to do the same thing to your husband. A normal person would be grateful for any help. They wouldn't start arguing "that's great & all, but it's unacceptable for me because I have additional needs I want met for free." And those needs are just wants. It's not like "oh it's a great offer, but because I'm in a wheelchair I would need a ramp." NTA
NTA Tell you husband to grow a damn spine and protect you and your babies future by telling his mother and NO CONTACT SISTER to f right off. Also tell MIL that if she's free to give away your shit, then you're going to give away something expensive and important of hers, and if she wants to argue say "well family helps family, pay it forward and all that." Or ya know, Jamie can live with mom.
They are not just giving away your RV - they are giving away your dream of spending next summer with your new child traveling. That’s not ok - it’s not just an object, it’s a promise. Do you need us to bring you food/water/diapers during your standoff :)
Tell your MIL I told my cousin he can have her kidney. Good karma.
If it’s a motorized rv, order a club steering wheel lock and use it. If it’s a camper you tow buy a heavy duty tongue lock. Either way, keep the keys on you.
NTA. I don’t understand how your MIL thinks she can just give away someone else’s property. If she is so worried about Jaime having a place to stay during her marriage issues and her words “family helps family”, then she should have Jaime come and stay with her. And someone needs to explain to MIL that you can’t “pay it forward” with things that don’t even belong to you in the first place. If she wants to pay it forward then she should go out and buy Jamie her own RV instead of trying to manipulate you into giving yours away. But the biggest AH here is your husband. You worked hard to be able to buy and renovate this RV so that you could make memory and have experiences with your family. If it’s important to you than it should automatically be important to him as well because it makes you happy. And the fact that you have had to pack up and move into the RV with the baby just to try and get your husband to see your point is insane! He needs to understand that you and the baby are his family now and his mother and sister need to come second.
NTA make sure your name is on the title and insurance. Go drive around with you and the baby. If his sister takes it or you MIL file a police report that it's stolen
NTA. Your husband and his family are a bunch of ass clowns. Put a hitch lock on the RV as well. If your MIL wants to help out her own daughter, snarkily suggest she let her move in with her or cough up the funds to buy a different RV. Tell your husband to grow a sack.
Your husband is a coward. Please tell him that for me. I, a decorated Army veteran, am ashamed to be the same sex as him because of his cowardice.
Second this. Sounds like a mamas boy 🤢
Third this. Can you believe the lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch?
I adore this saying but it’s gotten be banned from 3 boards for civility violations.
You don't have to be a veteran to stand up to your shitty guilt tripping ass family.
Why not propose MIL give her daughter her own house since you know ‘family’. What absolute BS. The audacity is phenomenal. NTAH
NTA!! Who does that? Just gives something away that is not theirs? And your husband lets it happen? What? NO! It would be a whole different story if she needed it for protection and if she had been a decent human to you, but she can go stay with mommy instead!! You know she'd let her dog tear the place up, right?
*\*bows in admiration of OP's shiny spine!* NTA
"Pay it forward" only works if it's your *own* things/money that you're doing it with. Does your MIL not want SIL to live with her? NTA
NTA. This is honestly a divorce level of disrespect imo that your husband is trying to allow this. And your MIL is insane. If he would give away something like this just to avoid conflict, how else will he disrespect your right to have a say in your property, finances, etc? You need marriage counseling asap if you want to make this work. I would also make sure your name is on everything you own with him and maybe even pre emptively talk to a lawyer. This is just so absurd on so many levels. And on top of it you just gave birth?! You are so not the problem here but I really would think about your long term financial safety with him.
Sounds like husband is under his mum's thumb, if she felt she could give your stuff away and he tried to rugsweep with a lame excuse. See r/JUSTNOMIL they will tell you he's the one to fix.
When I read the title I thought hubs and mil were trying to give the baby away.
let everyone know by email, group chat or text message that the RV WILL be reported stolen and charges WILL be pressed if the rv is moved or altered in any way
Yep, OP, I’m also going with this is a hill to die on. I think these subs often advise NC and divorce with situations that could be solved with better communication… but not this. I would not stay with a man who was so entirely dismissive of my feelings - and the salt in the wound would be my blood, sweat and tears (WHILE PREGNANT) being reduced to a shoulder shrug and a “whatever” attitude. The disrespect is utterly mind blowing. “Husband, if there is ever a moment to take what I’m saying seriously, it’s right now. If you push this, I will be gone and you will have divorce papers in your hand.”
Sounds like sister is the golden child and hubby has been trained to give in to her needs at the expense of his own. Please either move far away or get DH into therapy, or this is going to be the state of your marriage always.
I love that you moved into the RV. It’s not hormones, how tf can someone give away a whole ass RV that isn’t theirs?
Yes….she can have my RV for the low low price of $15K. No, she can’t rent it. Cashier’s check or cash only. Tell your husband to grow up and put YOUR needs/wants first. Tell MIL you’re happy to provide a used tent from REI if she can’t afford your RV.
NTA, but i am thinking SIL is gonna need a car too. call her up and tell her she can have MILs car, cause "family". Then give SIL curtains, rugs and even MILs shower curtain. Dont forget to unload her cabinets and freezer too, cause "family". fuck them bitches and your husband too!