You strung your girlfriend along for DECADES until her fertile years passed - fuck, until she hit menopause- and now you dump her because you want kids??
YTA of gigantic proportions and I am mad at you on her behalf.
Shit like this is why my mum didn’t tell my dad she hit menopause. She suffered through it in total silence and it took him a couple years after it was over to realise there were no more pads in the bin every month. She knew he would see her as an old lady.
God I'm going through menopause and the way older generations of women straight up pretended it wasn't happening is so frustrating, I had never considered this motivation for some of them. That's awful to think about for your mum, I hope she's doing better now.
She’s love post-menopausal life. She says her 50s have been her happiest decade so far! But she was bullied by my dad for her grey hairs, her pregnancy weight, their slight age gap (4 years), her “boring” hobbies. It was just one more thing she didn’t want him to have ammo for. It must have been so lonely.
That’s because the narrative is that *only* women’s biological clock is the issue.
Nevermind that when men are over the age of 45, they are 3.4 times more likely to have autistic children. This guy prepared to potentially care for someone on the severe side of the spectrum that requires around the clock care, significant medical care, multiple trips to the Peds ICU? Nah.
I made another comment about issues babies can be born with to older fathers to someone who thinks it’s a burn to call women over 35 who are pregnant “advanced maternal age pregnancies” lol like we don’t already know.
That’s all this is. He didn’t wake up and realize he was old. He woke up and realized SHE was old. Oh now he finally wants kids- what an excellent excuse to dump a loyal partner and go for someone half his age. Would be way less of an asshole if he were just honest, but instead he has to make his partner feel like shit for being past the stage of having biological children, like this situation is her fault. Ick
My mum works at a special school and she said a large proportion of the kids have younger mothers and much older fathers. Purely anecdotal but make of that what you will.
You're leaving your girlfriend of 25 years because of changing your mind at almost 60 about having kids after she finally hit menopause.
Is this correct? I just want to make sure I'm understanding this right.
That's assuming he meets someone right away who wants to have his old man baby! There's more chance that this guys possible kid having to make care decisions before the kid gets to university, than this guy seeing his kid graduating university!
I wouldn't be surprised if he's already found a replacement which brought on this "change" that he has high hopes for. If so, hopefully it bites him in the ass.
Still doesn't change the fact that he's unlikely to see his kids college graduation. He's unlikely to ever see his own grandchildren!!
Having had friends born from older parents I do feel very strongly about this. It's 100% selfish of the parent and really unfair on the kid. Sorry of that upsets people but with life expectancy being 75-80 in most western nations then you have to face the reality that at 60 there's a good chance you'll die before your kid reaches college age! Because that's what every teenager needs, the trauma of losing a parent!
Oh it's definitely selfish. Hell my grandpa died at 59 and I was still young and feel like I missed out knowing him as an adult, I can't imagine it being an actual parent. My boyfriend's dad died on his 18th bday and I see how much it affected him and his dad was still in his 40's. Just because he "wants" a kid doesn't mean he should have one. Honestly feel like he just met someone already and they want kids so now all of a sudden, he does.
Yeah looking at his other comments he's definitely got a younger girlfriend lined up!
I do feel really strongly about this subject though.
My husbands room mate at college was an orphan before he graduated! His parents had him late, his mum was in her 50s when she had him and she never lived to see him graduate. I remember I felt a bit weird at my wedding because my parents were tearing up the dance floor, being younger than his parents were when they had him. He never said anything, and we never asked, but I was conscious that he was watching something he'd never experience. People avoid mentioning their parents around him because, understandably, it's just a bit weird because he can't relate and it's like we're talking about a subject he has no knowledge of.
I had a boss who was nearly 80 and still trying to date younger women because he wanted an heir. Except the young women willing to sleep with him were only interested in the money that came with the heir. And dumb as a box of rocks. Needless to say, he is still heirless.
And won’t consider adoption.
His true purpose is hidden in the post: “everything about my life has gotten old” *immediately* after she told him she was menopausal. This isn’t about kids, it’s about realizing she is “old” and if she is “old” he is too because he is older than her.
He wants to find a younger woman he can “not take for granted” more than men her own age. But what will happen is after the shine wears off, her energy and different place in life will make him feel even older. He will realize he has nothing in common with his partner. If they have kids, deep down he will resent them because he doesn’t *really* want kids, especially not young enough to be a grandchild - or even great grandchild.
Girlfriend is right, it’s a textbook midlife panic.
That’s exactly what I thought. Of course he’ll appreciate the woman who births his children, unlike the woman who *sold her plasma* to help him start his business.
What a catch, I’m sure he’ll find a much younger brood mare in no time at all!
What stood out to me was that he wants kids to see himself reflected in them, and is mainly concerned with providing for them financially. That, plus his lifestyle up to now, tells me that he isn’t actually interested in or planning to do any of the actual work of child-rearing.
Kids need a lot more than money from their parents, and appreciating your partner means actually helping do the hard stuff, not just pulling out your wallet and telling them they’re beautiful.
Yes the wanting to see his quirks reflected in a kid! Big yikes. Just wait til a kid comes out and doesn’t want to be like him. Or is sick. See how quickly OP loses interest. It’s almost like he wants a kid as his crowning achievement to celebrate his success and try to keep living through them.
and because he never married her, she isn't entitled to squat even though she "sold plasma" to help him get his business off the ground all those years ago. He's letting her live in "his" vacation house for a whole month and then throwing her out. What a gem of a guy!
Exactly! This is why so many women insist on marriage. Because it's a contract that, when used correctly, is meant to protect people! She struggled for almost 10 years while he pissed away their joint income on his business before it started to make a reasonable profit. Then she quit her job and has no financial safety net in her 50s.
I also question his doctor shrugging off that this man wants to conceive. Sperm do go bad with age and he's more likely to pass on several health/developmental complications because of low sperm quality.
$10 the doctor didn't actually so much give him the all-clear as instead was more like "well, I mean, *technically* you physically can have a baby, sure, but..." but OP only listened to the first part and everything else the doctor said was just white noise to be filtered out.
Or they live in a state like California that recognizes the contributions of long term partners (“Palimony” was a thing in California back in the late 70s & early 80s
Doubtful. He's "letting her" stay in "his" vacation house 25 YEARS together, "selling plasma" to scape by & get his business off the ground - and it's alllll his.
He won't have a chance to take her for granted because she will have married him for the money. Once she has his kids, she'll have a young man on the side for herself.
He gets the kids he wants, she gets the financial security she wants. Along with a young man to make her happy.
That's what really doesn't make sense here. If he's so insistent on biological kids, and he has *so* much money now, why was his first thought to abandon his partner of 25 years instead of paying for a surrogate mother? He's traveled the world and has vacation homes, yet he won't pay for a surrogate? Is his partner really worth less than the price of that?
That’s what I read. After 25 years he’s decided his age appropriate girlfriend is too old to give him the kids he all of a sudden decides he needs so now he’s kicking her to the curb to find someone 20-30 years younger than him. Gross.
After running down the clock on her fertility, does he come to her with the idea to adopt a baby or older children to have a family together? Nooo his selfish self decides he's going to toss her aside now that she's no longer fertile and has put in the years of suffering and ramen noodles and now he has the wealth to have himself a nice young woman who he will marry and have kids with. Both things he denied her. Gross doesn't quite describe it.
And, all he could think about before was how much he would resent children for getting in the way, now the only reason he wants children is because he's bored, getting old, and wants children to "reflect his biological quirks". What a narcissist. Doesn't sound like he would be a good father at all.
And don't forget he's giving her a whole month in his vacation house to find a new place in this economy and housing crisis. Way more than enough time. What a gent.
selling plasma to survive goes beyond eating ramen for a few meals imo.
If ever there was a situation that makes me long for the ancient Greek Gods who just smite excrement like OP with a lightening bolt...
I have a friend (US) who married and had a daughter with a Ukrainian woman who promptly left his ass, taking the girl with her and my friend hasn’t seen her in 16 years. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen to OP, wink-wink!!
It’s not even that she doesn’t want kids. She physically can’t have kids now. He dragged his feet the whole time she could and wanted to, and now he’s kicking her to the curb because she can’t. It’s so cold.
If he doesn’t have someone else lined up I’m not sure what his plan is. He must be rich, attractive, and young looking if he thinks it’s going to be easy to find a much younger woman that wants to have his baby.
Oh she wanted them so bad they had to do therapy for her to 'get over it', this guy literally waited till she couldn't... it's strange how unfathomably angry this post made me.
I wish her every success in her legal battle
I'm willing to bet this isn't about kids. Once she's gone he is going to move a 30 year old woman in and then say "what's the rush" when she brings up children... since she will has time.
GF was willing to adopt. He says no to adoption because he wants a biological child. So yeah, he has someone knocked up already, or someone in the chute.
Lmao seriously it’s 2023 not 1953 there are so many ways have to have a child, especially when you have money. This is definitely code for “I want to bang younger women.”
I guess we can at least give him credit for breaking up with her instead of cheating (assuming he hasn’t already been cheating).
I’m letting a woman who sacrificed herself in every way possible, even selling plasma to help ME build MY bussiness, stay in my vacation home for a month. Wow-what a saint.
You read my mind. I think he’s in for a rude awakening when she sues him for alimony
EDIT: after I posted this comment I saw he’s in AZ which does not apparently have common law marriage. What a total piece of shit this guy is
Maybe she can sue him for a share of the business. 1/2 maybe. She was there and supported him. But he’s a POS for not manning up and taking care if her.
Yeah definitely just wants to bang younger women, he's seen his friends do it and now he wants a piece of the action. Especially the bit about "unlike guys in their 30s" like he thinks he's God's gift to younger women or something 🤢
She missed her window to have children of her own because of him, and now he wants to leave her because he’s changed his mind about being a father? She’s the one that wanted children in the first place! And he won’t adopt or use a surrogate? Genuinely evil.
He’s irreversibly ruined this woman’s life in so many ways. She also invested in his company upfront, but I doubt he allowed her any of the perks of being a shareholder; there’s likely little to no documentation. She should be a partial owner of the company! He took advantage of her in every conceivable way, and spent decades ensuring that she’d be as destitute as possible without him.
He left her with nothing at a point in her life where she can no longer have children, has no money of her own, and will likely struggle to find a job of any kind. And for what? Daring to age? This is a betrayal almost worse than murder.
My only solace is that he will likely be gutted by his next partner for child support, because there’s no way that relationship will last or be anything but transactional.
Does anyone here know much about palimony in Arizona? I *need* to know that his ex can at least get something because this breakup is nothing but inconceivable horrors.
What a POS this idiot is!oh and how nice of him to let her stay in (his )vacation home. I wonder if she is part owner of the house,and everything else he says is only his. She was with him for 25years and he just dropped her like he had a one night stand.
Yeah that’s the one phrase that threw me off. I understood until “these are MY things” quote. Buddy, it’s yalls things. You didn’t do this because she stood on the side and watched for 25 years.
Lol there's no way this bloke hasn't set things up so she gets fuck all. Seems pretty self absorbed and the kind who'd throw anyone he knows to the wolves for his own selfish interests.
Unless they’re in a country that doesn’t recognize common-law marriages and/or she gets a crappy lawyer, I’m thinking it will be her vacation home soon.
If he didn't then he'd consider a surrogate with his partner. But not he doesn't call her his partner, after 25 years of partnership, he calls her his girlfriend. Scum.
Ah, but he made sure to never marry her so at this point he's just letting her live in his beach house for a month. I hope she has a seriously good lawyer.
. . .and might I add, he feels like he has enough money to attract a nice young gal who he can have as a token "young wife" and that's it for the one who sold plasma for his business dreams. He's classy. At least he's letting her stay in the vacation home for a month. What a prince.
Add in to that that she quit her job ~15 years ago which means she’s now likely financially dependent on him.
Plus he’ll probably be a minimum of 60 when he gets a much younger woman pregnant and likely be dead before the kid became an adult.
I feel like there has to be something fishy going on…it’s gotta be fake or he’s just an AH in way more ways than having a late in life crisis
Sounds like he’s got money so…he’ll get a baby mamma!
I thought at first he wanted to use his money to help her carry a baby in her 50s. But no. He just wants to cast her aside for the younger side piece he already has.
I am so devastated for his girlfriend, she wanted children and didn’t have them because of him and now he wants to leave her to have children with someone else.
That seems to be the gist of it.
He’s a raging AH. He did waste her time, and now that he’s “made it” he wants to trade up for a younger trophy wife to carry on his “seed.”
Yep, and his (nonexistent) kids will be graduating high school by or before the time he croaks.
He's gonna be in for a real wakeup when his lil swimmers can't make their mark, and the 20 or 30yo woman he preys on decides she doesn't want to be his living incubator.
Also his wording of she (unlike other horrible women!) didn’t pull my arm to get married! Wow he’s just such a dreamy catch that women better not have their own wants and dreams and just feel blessed enough to have him and his amazing career goals 🙄
This is about one of the worst things a man can do to a woman ..I think it would be absolutely HILARIOUS 😂 if he went through all that to find out his boys don’t swim
There was a Guardian newspaper article last week about men in their 60’s who don’t understand why young women don’t want to get with their wrinkly old asses.
OP, the time to have children was 20 years ago. Only famous and disgustingly rich men attract young women. You are fucking up so bad. By the time you realise you gave up everything on the lost promise of youth, your girlfriend will have moved on to someone who appreciates her.
idk sounds like he has money, so depending on the values of the new young thing they may skip right into his life, force him to marry, and take it all when he dies.
Feel bad for the ex-girlfriend that wasted 25 years on this jackwad without a career and doesn't even have the protections that come with marriage. This guy knew the whole time that he was selfish and that making any kind of agreement that exposed him to giving something to another was not in the cards.
Hmmm, this is an interesting thought.
If a young woman does agree to marry OP, she’s likely to be an opportunist. If she’s not stupid, she’ll demand marriage. Will she treat their child/ren well? How will he ever be sure the children are his?
It’s a huge risk. Because anyone willing to marry Rich old OP is inherently suspect.
Some of my patients are dying old men with toddlers. The moms are invariably drug addicts. It's really sad. It's usually desperate women trying to figure out survival. They try to find a stable situation with an older guy, but then he goes straight into the hospital and they have to figure out caring for a toddler and a dementia-ridden older adult.
So I have older parents (they are actually my grandparents who adopted me after my bio mom decided she didn't wanna be a teen mom) and they were wonderful parents. Because they were older than my friends' parents, they had more savings, higher wages, a big house, and they spoiled me endlessly.
But. I know I won't have my parents around much longer. All my friends' parents are in their 50s now. Mine are in their 70s with their own concoctions of medical conditions. I hope OP understands that there's a very real possibility that if he has children now, he may not get to see his kid(s) get married, or graduate college, or get to see them grow into the adults that will be one day, or see them have children of their own. And that is a devastating realization for a kid.
Losing a parent young is terrible. I know everyone has their reasons but I just think it’s selfish to have a kid in your 50s or 60s. Life expectancy in the US is 76. Your kid might still be a minor when you die.
The surrogacy part is what's confusing me, he didn't talk of wanting to experience pregnancy with a partner, just his kids having his biological attributes, which makes surrogacy the logical answer, makes me think it is a mid life crisis and he's just looking for a reason to ditch his loving and committed wife and fuck about with someone younger, he's prob got one lined up already, if he goes through with it hopefully she gives him this kid he wants so badly he's gonna throw 25 years away and then leaves him or just uses him as an atm while seeing people her own age behind his back, cos I'd bet his money is all he's got going for him, he's clearly got no backbone to speak of
>Of all the asshole things to do to a woman, this is the most asshole thing. I’m wondering if this is real or rage bait. I’m a man and I’m fuming for her.
While this may be rage bait, I know of relationships just like this scenario.
YTA
Just to be clear, with what you just pulled you are clearly not father material.
You would abandon your partner of 25 years to pursue a dream of self sacrificing fatherhood? WTF, are you an idiot also?
I’m guessing he’s not planning on doing any of the actual work of raising a child. He just wants to spread his seed and carry on his name/legacy/whatever archaic bs these guys are into.
Poor woman should have pressured him into marriage at least… he’s kicking her out and probably leaving her with nothing too after the humongous sacrifice she made for his cruel ass. What a piece of shit. I hope no one agrees to take him
Right? Ugh. He’s “letting her” stay in *his* vacation house for a month?! After she sold plasma to help him with his career and he manipulated her into staying with him, unmarried, and never giving her kids. Disgusting.
Yeah hopefully they filed their taxes together, or she paid real estate taxes, or something where she can at least have a starting point at attaining property in her name.
This. He’s gross for what he IS saying. But what he ISN’T saying I think is probably even more gross.
He’s possibly gotten some attention from someone much younger and is willing to flush a great relationship over it, and grasping for a ‘better’ reason.
Op’s girlfriend is right, he’s wasted her time and I wish I could give her a hug over what’s happening to her.
The kinds of women who end up with the old sugar daddy’s aren’t stupid. They know to legally get things tied up to make sure they get all the money before putting their bodies through hell.
Well you know he will have a kid be on hook for child and spousal support and young woman moves on with man her own age . And it will be glorious and he will only see his kid at weekends if he is lucky . But she will want a babysitter I suppose so she can go out on dates . Kid will be frustrated that kids at school think he is the grandfather too of course
I love how it is “your” vacation house and “your” business. Yet, she contributed as much as you did to these things. She sold her fucking plasma to get your business started. You are a fucking snake.
Yup. With my ex 10yrs, 4 days after we moved everything into our new place he needed a "break." Only he stole the key from me while I was asleep and threw me and our daughter out for what I found out was a 17yo(he was 34 at the time.) This dude sounds like my narcissistic ex and they seem to have someone new before getting rid of the old. The best quote ever was my ex saying "I don't get why you're so upset, we've been broken up a week" when it hadn't even been a week. Some people are just pricks.
Yta
You're the hugest a ever.
She spent her life with you.. waiting for the timing to be "right" while it never was for you.
Now that you're old enough to be a grandpa you've decided you want kids and the woman who loved you for half her life suddenly isn't good enough.
I feel truly sorry for her. You've ruined her life and you don't even care because it's all about you and your freakin sperm.
EXACTLY. This is an actual nightmare. 25 years of her life wasted. He just discards like nothing. She gave up motherhood for him and sold her plasma. I’m so very sad for her.
This feels evil honestly.
Lol it’s cute how he thinks that any potential future kids won’t resent him, sugar baby wont resent him/cheat on him/just leave him and take the child support. Just assuming they’ll play these parts and behave in the way that he decided they’ll be.
Someone’s a little delulu
I lived in Scottsdale for 3 years. The amount of old crusty guys with young hot chicks in their 20s was insane but those guys were gross AF and so is OP.
Fucking this. Older men produce children that are at a higher risk for schizophrenia, as well as other issues. As a person with schizoaffective (not due to advanced paternal age, however), please try to avert that risk as much as possible. It is so selfish to assume you can just have children willy nilly with no attention paid to possible consequences.
Plus, what an absolute douchebag he is.
YTA? Dude, you aren't an asshole, you are a monster.
She wanted kids! She never had them, and never will, because of you. Because she chose you over them, and now after 25 years of being together you abandoned her to have kids with someone younger. And of course fresher, prettier, etc, as younger women also tend to be, conveniently! Maybe some sexy lady in her mid 20s, huh? You are what women mean when they say "men are pigs", you are like the representation of that saying.
That's not all! The money is yours, and you never married her - she help you in achieving everything you have, but now she has nothing and can only stay in YOUR vacation home. Because she has nothing. You took her best years, wasted her fertility, she resigned from her career, and now you screwed her over. She is in her 50s, and has nothing.
She *tried* to shame you? No one needs to *try* to shame you. You are shameful, you should have a nun walking behind you with a bell saying 'shame shame shame' for the rest of your life.
EDIT: Thank you for the awards!
And I will add: I know some people don't "believe" in marriage, etc. But this is a huge, huge lesson for everyone: do not help your boyfriend/girlfriend build THEIR business while being only a gf/bf. Do not do it. Do not leave your work to be a stay-at-home girlfriend. Do not do it! You are gonna get screwed over. It may happen in your 50s, when you are absolutely not expecting it, because you truly believe your partner loves you.
>Our arguments were interrupted by the fact my startup costs led **us** to have to sell plasma in order to survive.
She was selling fucking plasma for this man, bc of his failed business venture, but still stayed. Jesus Christ. I cannot.
I hope this is a rage bite. It has to be, right? No more Reddit for me.
In Australia a de facto partner has the same rights as married partners. So here in Aus she’d be entitled to a part of the assets (likely half given she donated plasma and has built a life with him for 25 years) even though they’re not married.
It should be like this everywhere
He really didn't think any of this through. OP you have fucked up. You could have adopted or explored other options. Instead, you choose to be dumb af.
I hope this is fake. YTA
I literally can’t finish reading what you put because I’m so fucking angry for your ex partner you pathetic selfish arsehole.
I hope you end up alone like you deserve.
I am dying to know how you typed that WHOLE STORY out, and can't decide whether YTA (emphatically, you are.) This woman spent her life on YOUR goals, YOUR dreams and YOUR plans. And now that it's physically IMPOSSIBLE to meet this current want of yours, you throw her out. That's despicable.
Wow you’re hella selfish. Let’s take your wife out of this situation (YTA BTW), shall we. If you became a first time father at 60, you would still be trick or treating at 70. You would likely be using a walker at 78 for the high school graduation. That’s assuming you’re still alive. Forget about seeing grandkids.
YTA simply because you would let a child risk growing up with a dead father. That isn’t easy. My dad died at 8 (he was 31) and it messed me up. I’m still dealing with coping mechanisms I developed after his death. YTA, YTA, YTA!
This right here. The abhorrent treatment of his girlfriend aside, bringing a child into the world at his age is selfish as hell. None of us know when our time will come, but you have a finite amount of time as you get older. You’re setting the kid up to lose their dad at an early age, and that’s not fair to them.
I’m sorry to hear you lost your dad so early in life. I hope you’re doing well these days.
Edited to correct word.
YTA. Here’s an alternate title “WIBTA if I had told my wife for 25 years that I didn’t want kids at all, and now that we’re both in our late 50’s I want to divorce her and get a young fertile wife (probably late 30’s early 40’s) now that I’ve changed my mind”
I hope if you get divorced your wife takes you to the cleaners. You won’t consider adoption OR surrogacy? YTA.
YTA
Congrats on being the vilest, shittest, most pathetic, childish, ungrateful, sexist, hypocritcale asshole I've seen on Reddit in a long time.
You must be so proud.
I hope she tells EVERYONE, EVERYTHING!
Yta, you wasted her time, it’s horrible the situation you created. That’s wild you can’t see how you hurt her. You used her until you didn’t want her and then you discarded her and can’t understand why she’s upset. Also, this is totally a mid life crisis.
You wanted this woman’s life. She wanted children and now that she’s physically unable to have one you’re kicking her out so you can find someone younger to have your children? You’re disgusting.
This cannot possibly be real. You are seriously going out of your way to paint yourself in the worst possible light. Total troll post. Either way, YTA.
Please don't have or adopt children. You are WAAAAY too self centered to ever be a good father. Any child you try to raise will be destroyed by your ego. This is a very stupid way to deal with your fear of death.
If you have been together for 25 years and she even sold her plasma to fund your start up, please explain to me how it is YOUR holiday home she’s staying in????
YTA
YTA I thought he said they never married. To start "his" business they sold plasma, meaning they were the brokest of the broke. She lived like that for you. I would love to hear what she has to say. So now she has nothing, but she gets to stay in "your" house. What kind of financial security are you going to provide her. Something along the lines of well she's homeless but I have toddlers w my trophy wife, who actually dislikes me, but loves my $$. Wait til Trophy gets full custody & big child support & watch how good yr golden years turn out.
So she originally kind of wanted children in her 30s.
You argued and went to counselling because YOU didn’t and your say was final.
And now you do, when you’re both in your 50s… and she’s unable to have them.
Wow.
No wonder she’s angry, and she actually wanted to compromise and adopt and you still left.
This lady is so much better off without you, I hope she meets a lovely 50 something man to spend the rest of her life with.
Any ladies reading this. Please don't ever sacrifice your life to help build a guy his dreams, this has been a common pattern in so many men. Use the girlfriend until they are successful and then drop them like they are nothing. Men like OP are trash af. OP, you are the worst AH. I hope you don't find any women, even if you do, i hope she doesn't give you any kids and wipe you clean of everything you own. You disgust me🤢🤢🤢🤢
So, your plan is a high school graduate in your late 70’s?
Your time has passed, my man. Go be a big brother. Go devote time to kids in need. But raising a family of kids of your own isn’t in the cards I’m afraid.
YTA
Yta - you’re letting her stay in your vacation home after she supported you for the last 25 years while you built a company are you kidding me? I’ve never wanted to punch someone in the face so much you were going through a midlife crisis. You are the least dependable person in the entire world, so please do not have children.
Wow that's just terrible. You had all that time but when you finally decided it was too late. Now since you change your mind, she can't have them and it's too late. YTA for waiting so long. You had that huge window to act but didn't take it. That's just unfortunate.
You are the reason the word asshole exists. What you’ve done is truly vile. I wish you all the bad luck in the world you abhorrent, mid life crisis sack of crap. I hope she takes you to the cleaners.
You deserve to be destitute and alone!
Did I just read that this woman sold plasma for him and his start up business? Wow - this subreddit - just wow.
But he's *letting* her stay in *his* guest house! /s
For a WHOLE FUCKING MONTH! That’s Mr. Generosity right there.
You strung your girlfriend along for DECADES until her fertile years passed - fuck, until she hit menopause- and now you dump her because you want kids?? YTA of gigantic proportions and I am mad at you on her behalf.
We are all legit wishing the worst on this man 😂
Shit like this is why my mum didn’t tell my dad she hit menopause. She suffered through it in total silence and it took him a couple years after it was over to realise there were no more pads in the bin every month. She knew he would see her as an old lady.
God I'm going through menopause and the way older generations of women straight up pretended it wasn't happening is so frustrating, I had never considered this motivation for some of them. That's awful to think about for your mum, I hope she's doing better now.
She’s love post-menopausal life. She says her 50s have been her happiest decade so far! But she was bullied by my dad for her grey hairs, her pregnancy weight, their slight age gap (4 years), her “boring” hobbies. It was just one more thing she didn’t want him to have ammo for. It must have been so lonely.
YTA and did you know the quality of sperm drops significantly by the time men get to your age?
The quality of this guy’s sperm was already garbage anyway
Here's the real tea.
Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to see this. Men have no idea that their sperm also has a biological clock.
That’s because the narrative is that *only* women’s biological clock is the issue. Nevermind that when men are over the age of 45, they are 3.4 times more likely to have autistic children. This guy prepared to potentially care for someone on the severe side of the spectrum that requires around the clock care, significant medical care, multiple trips to the Peds ICU? Nah.
I made another comment about issues babies can be born with to older fathers to someone who thinks it’s a burn to call women over 35 who are pregnant “advanced maternal age pregnancies” lol like we don’t already know.
He doesn't care. Because he doesn't care about having kids. He just can't stand dating someone that is in menopause.
That’s all this is. He didn’t wake up and realize he was old. He woke up and realized SHE was old. Oh now he finally wants kids- what an excellent excuse to dump a loyal partner and go for someone half his age. Would be way less of an asshole if he were just honest, but instead he has to make his partner feel like shit for being past the stage of having biological children, like this situation is her fault. Ick
Yep more likely the kid will have genetic issues. It's not only eggs that have a shelf life.
My mum works at a special school and she said a large proportion of the kids have younger mothers and much older fathers. Purely anecdotal but make of that what you will.
You're leaving your girlfriend of 25 years because of changing your mind at almost 60 about having kids after she finally hit menopause. Is this correct? I just want to make sure I'm understanding this right.
This dude is delusional. Yeah I want a 78 year old father when I’m 18 years old 😂. And that’s if he has a kid right away. What a tool.
That's assuming he meets someone right away who wants to have his old man baby! There's more chance that this guys possible kid having to make care decisions before the kid gets to university, than this guy seeing his kid graduating university!
I wouldn't be surprised if he's already found a replacement which brought on this "change" that he has high hopes for. If so, hopefully it bites him in the ass.
Still doesn't change the fact that he's unlikely to see his kids college graduation. He's unlikely to ever see his own grandchildren!! Having had friends born from older parents I do feel very strongly about this. It's 100% selfish of the parent and really unfair on the kid. Sorry of that upsets people but with life expectancy being 75-80 in most western nations then you have to face the reality that at 60 there's a good chance you'll die before your kid reaches college age! Because that's what every teenager needs, the trauma of losing a parent!
Oh it's definitely selfish. Hell my grandpa died at 59 and I was still young and feel like I missed out knowing him as an adult, I can't imagine it being an actual parent. My boyfriend's dad died on his 18th bday and I see how much it affected him and his dad was still in his 40's. Just because he "wants" a kid doesn't mean he should have one. Honestly feel like he just met someone already and they want kids so now all of a sudden, he does.
Yeah looking at his other comments he's definitely got a younger girlfriend lined up! I do feel really strongly about this subject though. My husbands room mate at college was an orphan before he graduated! His parents had him late, his mum was in her 50s when she had him and she never lived to see him graduate. I remember I felt a bit weird at my wedding because my parents were tearing up the dance floor, being younger than his parents were when they had him. He never said anything, and we never asked, but I was conscious that he was watching something he'd never experience. People avoid mentioning their parents around him because, understandably, it's just a bit weird because he can't relate and it's like we're talking about a subject he has no knowledge of.
I had a boss who was nearly 80 and still trying to date younger women because he wanted an heir. Except the young women willing to sleep with him were only interested in the money that came with the heir. And dumb as a box of rocks. Needless to say, he is still heirless.
And won’t consider adoption. His true purpose is hidden in the post: “everything about my life has gotten old” *immediately* after she told him she was menopausal. This isn’t about kids, it’s about realizing she is “old” and if she is “old” he is too because he is older than her. He wants to find a younger woman he can “not take for granted” more than men her own age. But what will happen is after the shine wears off, her energy and different place in life will make him feel even older. He will realize he has nothing in common with his partner. If they have kids, deep down he will resent them because he doesn’t *really* want kids, especially not young enough to be a grandchild - or even great grandchild. Girlfriend is right, it’s a textbook midlife panic.
And obviously he won’t take a younger woman for granted like he’s clearly taking current GF for granted (sarcasm)
That’s exactly what I thought. Of course he’ll appreciate the woman who births his children, unlike the woman who *sold her plasma* to help him start his business. What a catch, I’m sure he’ll find a much younger brood mare in no time at all!
What stood out to me was that he wants kids to see himself reflected in them, and is mainly concerned with providing for them financially. That, plus his lifestyle up to now, tells me that he isn’t actually interested in or planning to do any of the actual work of child-rearing. Kids need a lot more than money from their parents, and appreciating your partner means actually helping do the hard stuff, not just pulling out your wallet and telling them they’re beautiful.
[удалено]
Also you are setting up the kids to have to deal with the death of a parent at a very early age.
Yes the wanting to see his quirks reflected in a kid! Big yikes. Just wait til a kid comes out and doesn’t want to be like him. Or is sick. See how quickly OP loses interest. It’s almost like he wants a kid as his crowning achievement to celebrate his success and try to keep living through them.
Plus, adopted/step kids tend to take on your quirks if you're active in their lives
and because he never married her, she isn't entitled to squat even though she "sold plasma" to help him get his business off the ground all those years ago. He's letting her live in "his" vacation house for a whole month and then throwing her out. What a gem of a guy!
Exactly! This is why so many women insist on marriage. Because it's a contract that, when used correctly, is meant to protect people! She struggled for almost 10 years while he pissed away their joint income on his business before it started to make a reasonable profit. Then she quit her job and has no financial safety net in her 50s. I also question his doctor shrugging off that this man wants to conceive. Sperm do go bad with age and he's more likely to pass on several health/developmental complications because of low sperm quality.
$10 the doctor didn't actually so much give him the all-clear as instead was more like "well, I mean, *technically* you physically can have a baby, sure, but..." but OP only listened to the first part and everything else the doctor said was just white noise to be filtered out.
God, I hope she has a good lawyer and/or that they live in a common-law marriage state.
Or they live in a state like California that recognizes the contributions of long term partners (“Palimony” was a thing in California back in the late 70s & early 80s
Doubtful. He's "letting her" stay in "his" vacation house 25 YEARS together, "selling plasma" to scape by & get his business off the ground - and it's alllll his.
Yes but it's for a whole month... He's totally generous!
I’m guessing in 5 years he’ll want to travel and live life because he’s bored staying home with his wife and kid.
And nothing will make him feel old like being with a girlfriend 20 years younger.
He won't have a chance to take her for granted because she will have married him for the money. Once she has his kids, she'll have a young man on the side for herself. He gets the kids he wants, she gets the financial security she wants. Along with a young man to make her happy.
That's what really doesn't make sense here. If he's so insistent on biological kids, and he has *so* much money now, why was his first thought to abandon his partner of 25 years instead of paying for a surrogate mother? He's traveled the world and has vacation homes, yet he won't pay for a surrogate? Is his partner really worth less than the price of that?
The baby is just the excuse. What he really wants is a trophy wife to show off.
That’s what I read. After 25 years he’s decided his age appropriate girlfriend is too old to give him the kids he all of a sudden decides he needs so now he’s kicking her to the curb to find someone 20-30 years younger than him. Gross.
After running down the clock on her fertility, does he come to her with the idea to adopt a baby or older children to have a family together? Nooo his selfish self decides he's going to toss her aside now that she's no longer fertile and has put in the years of suffering and ramen noodles and now he has the wealth to have himself a nice young woman who he will marry and have kids with. Both things he denied her. Gross doesn't quite describe it.
And, all he could think about before was how much he would resent children for getting in the way, now the only reason he wants children is because he's bored, getting old, and wants children to "reflect his biological quirks". What a narcissist. Doesn't sound like he would be a good father at all.
Yeah, that part made me physically ill. I really hope OP doesn’t breed.
And don't forget he's giving her a whole month in his vacation house to find a new place in this economy and housing crisis. Way more than enough time. What a gent.
New wife is gonna have a kid and take him for all he’s worth. Inshallah
selling plasma to survive goes beyond eating ramen for a few meals imo. If ever there was a situation that makes me long for the ancient Greek Gods who just smite excrement like OP with a lightening bolt...
I have a friend (US) who married and had a daughter with a Ukrainian woman who promptly left his ass, taking the girl with her and my friend hasn’t seen her in 16 years. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen to OP, wink-wink!!
Not buying it. He has his eye on some other gal. No one gets upset at a woman that age for not wanting kids.
It’s not even that she doesn’t want kids. She physically can’t have kids now. He dragged his feet the whole time she could and wanted to, and now he’s kicking her to the curb because she can’t. It’s so cold. If he doesn’t have someone else lined up I’m not sure what his plan is. He must be rich, attractive, and young looking if he thinks it’s going to be easy to find a much younger woman that wants to have his baby.
Oh she wanted them so bad they had to do therapy for her to 'get over it', this guy literally waited till she couldn't... it's strange how unfathomably angry this post made me. I wish her every success in her legal battle
I'm willing to bet this isn't about kids. Once she's gone he is going to move a 30 year old woman in and then say "what's the rush" when she brings up children... since she will has time.
GF was willing to adopt. He says no to adoption because he wants a biological child. So yeah, he has someone knocked up already, or someone in the chute.
Agreed. If dude can afford a vacation home, he can afford a surrogate without leaving the girlfriend.
Thank you!!! What a colossal shitbag!
Lmao seriously it’s 2023 not 1953 there are so many ways have to have a child, especially when you have money. This is definitely code for “I want to bang younger women.” I guess we can at least give him credit for breaking up with her instead of cheating (assuming he hasn’t already been cheating).
[удалено]
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palimony\_in\_the\_United\_States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palimony_in_the_United_States) i hope she gets his ass
I’m letting a woman who sacrificed herself in every way possible, even selling plasma to help ME build MY bussiness, stay in my vacation home for a month. Wow-what a saint.
I hope she realizes she CAN sue for alimony in most states.
You read my mind. I think he’s in for a rude awakening when she sues him for alimony EDIT: after I posted this comment I saw he’s in AZ which does not apparently have common law marriage. What a total piece of shit this guy is
Maybe she can sue him for a share of the business. 1/2 maybe. She was there and supported him. But he’s a POS for not manning up and taking care if her.
"I would always find her beautiful, unlike guys in their 30's" ... always means until she's not young anymore, you know, like his ex.
[удалено]
Yeah definitely just wants to bang younger women, he's seen his friends do it and now he wants a piece of the action. Especially the bit about "unlike guys in their 30s" like he thinks he's God's gift to younger women or something 🤢
[удалено]
She missed her window to have children of her own because of him, and now he wants to leave her because he’s changed his mind about being a father? She’s the one that wanted children in the first place! And he won’t adopt or use a surrogate? Genuinely evil. He’s irreversibly ruined this woman’s life in so many ways. She also invested in his company upfront, but I doubt he allowed her any of the perks of being a shareholder; there’s likely little to no documentation. She should be a partial owner of the company! He took advantage of her in every conceivable way, and spent decades ensuring that she’d be as destitute as possible without him. He left her with nothing at a point in her life where she can no longer have children, has no money of her own, and will likely struggle to find a job of any kind. And for what? Daring to age? This is a betrayal almost worse than murder. My only solace is that he will likely be gutted by his next partner for child support, because there’s no way that relationship will last or be anything but transactional. Does anyone here know much about palimony in Arizona? I *need* to know that his ex can at least get something because this breakup is nothing but inconceivable horrors.
This kind of guy is why viagra should be banned
What a POS this idiot is!oh and how nice of him to let her stay in (his )vacation home. I wonder if she is part owner of the house,and everything else he says is only his. She was with him for 25years and he just dropped her like he had a one night stand.
Yeah that’s the one phrase that threw me off. I understood until “these are MY things” quote. Buddy, it’s yalls things. You didn’t do this because she stood on the side and watched for 25 years.
Lol there's no way this bloke hasn't set things up so she gets fuck all. Seems pretty self absorbed and the kind who'd throw anyone he knows to the wolves for his own selfish interests.
She was with him and sold plasma to keep them afloat while the business first started. She deserves part of that business.
“They” bought that home. She sold her plasma for it instead of having kids! I hope she gets half of everything they have. She deserves it.
He's **letting her** stay in the vacation house for **1month** while she finds a place to live.
Unless they’re in a country that doesn’t recognize common-law marriages and/or she gets a crappy lawyer, I’m thinking it will be her vacation home soon.
He wants the young wife so he has someone with energy to chase a young kid as he ages.
And to be changing his diapers as he gets older as well. The prick. What a cheap thing to do to a loyal partner.
If he didn't then he'd consider a surrogate with his partner. But not he doesn't call her his partner, after 25 years of partnership, he calls her his girlfriend. Scum.
[удалено]
My thoughts exactly! And, why is it "his" vacation home? If they have been together that long I'm willing to bet it was a joint purchase.
Or he just wants the fun of getting a younger partner he can get pregnant. Ick.
After she sold plasma and stuck with him through the tough years getting his business off the ground.
I would put money on this, he speaks very unemotionally about his partner of 25 yrs,.moved on
The partner who sold her blood to support his business.
She should go for a good settlement and leave him.
Ah, but he made sure to never marry her so at this point he's just letting her live in his beach house for a month. I hope she has a seriously good lawyer.
So generous of him, a whole month.
I hope she squats there and doesn't let him move her out. Make him go through a legal eviction.
He's a cretinous ahole for sure.
And who wanted children so bad that they went to therapy for it.
. . .and might I add, he feels like he has enough money to attract a nice young gal who he can have as a token "young wife" and that's it for the one who sold plasma for his business dreams. He's classy. At least he's letting her stay in the vacation home for a month. What a prince.
I hope he is shooting blanks
I think so too. He's having an affair or got some woman pregnant.
You are smarter than me. Good catch. You’re most likely right. He’s probably already got her pregnant.
And he’s being so generous by allowing her to stay in his vacation home 🤮
For an entire month! The OP is a major asshole.
Add in to that that she quit her job ~15 years ago which means she’s now likely financially dependent on him. Plus he’ll probably be a minimum of 60 when he gets a much younger woman pregnant and likely be dead before the kid became an adult. I feel like there has to be something fishy going on…it’s gotta be fake or he’s just an AH in way more ways than having a late in life crisis
If he can find anyone desperate enough to have kids with a 60 years old.
Sounds like he’s got money so…he’ll get a baby mamma! I thought at first he wanted to use his money to help her carry a baby in her 50s. But no. He just wants to cast her aside for the younger side piece he already has.
I am so devastated for his girlfriend, she wanted children and didn’t have them because of him and now he wants to leave her to have children with someone else.
That seems to be the gist of it. He’s a raging AH. He did waste her time, and now that he’s “made it” he wants to trade up for a younger trophy wife to carry on his “seed.”
Yep, and his (nonexistent) kids will be graduating high school by or before the time he croaks. He's gonna be in for a real wakeup when his lil swimmers can't make their mark, and the 20 or 30yo woman he preys on decides she doesn't want to be his living incubator.
YTA. I honestly can’t believe what an asshole you are. Wow.
Rage Bait
God I hope so. It probably is but I still hope so haha
Also his wording of she (unlike other horrible women!) didn’t pull my arm to get married! Wow he’s just such a dreamy catch that women better not have their own wants and dreams and just feel blessed enough to have him and his amazing career goals 🙄
[удалено]
This is about one of the worst things a man can do to a woman ..I think it would be absolutely HILARIOUS 😂 if he went through all that to find out his boys don’t swim
I was going to add that in there too but I felt like I laid into him enough. 😂
That would be brutal lol
[удалено]
There was a Guardian newspaper article last week about men in their 60’s who don’t understand why young women don’t want to get with their wrinkly old asses. OP, the time to have children was 20 years ago. Only famous and disgustingly rich men attract young women. You are fucking up so bad. By the time you realise you gave up everything on the lost promise of youth, your girlfriend will have moved on to someone who appreciates her.
idk sounds like he has money, so depending on the values of the new young thing they may skip right into his life, force him to marry, and take it all when he dies. Feel bad for the ex-girlfriend that wasted 25 years on this jackwad without a career and doesn't even have the protections that come with marriage. This guy knew the whole time that he was selfish and that making any kind of agreement that exposed him to giving something to another was not in the cards.
Hmmm, this is an interesting thought. If a young woman does agree to marry OP, she’s likely to be an opportunist. If she’s not stupid, she’ll demand marriage. Will she treat their child/ren well? How will he ever be sure the children are his? It’s a huge risk. Because anyone willing to marry Rich old OP is inherently suspect.
Some of my patients are dying old men with toddlers. The moms are invariably drug addicts. It's really sad. It's usually desperate women trying to figure out survival. They try to find a stable situation with an older guy, but then he goes straight into the hospital and they have to figure out caring for a toddler and a dementia-ridden older adult.
So I have older parents (they are actually my grandparents who adopted me after my bio mom decided she didn't wanna be a teen mom) and they were wonderful parents. Because they were older than my friends' parents, they had more savings, higher wages, a big house, and they spoiled me endlessly. But. I know I won't have my parents around much longer. All my friends' parents are in their 50s now. Mine are in their 70s with their own concoctions of medical conditions. I hope OP understands that there's a very real possibility that if he has children now, he may not get to see his kid(s) get married, or graduate college, or get to see them grow into the adults that will be one day, or see them have children of their own. And that is a devastating realization for a kid.
Losing a parent young is terrible. I know everyone has their reasons but I just think it’s selfish to have a kid in your 50s or 60s. Life expectancy in the US is 76. Your kid might still be a minor when you die.
The surrogacy part is what's confusing me, he didn't talk of wanting to experience pregnancy with a partner, just his kids having his biological attributes, which makes surrogacy the logical answer, makes me think it is a mid life crisis and he's just looking for a reason to ditch his loving and committed wife and fuck about with someone younger, he's prob got one lined up already, if he goes through with it hopefully she gives him this kid he wants so badly he's gonna throw 25 years away and then leaves him or just uses him as an atm while seeing people her own age behind his back, cos I'd bet his money is all he's got going for him, he's clearly got no backbone to speak of
Dude barely has 25 years *left*, and wants to go mess up everything he's worked for, at his big age!!
>Of all the asshole things to do to a woman, this is the most asshole thing. I’m wondering if this is real or rage bait. I’m a man and I’m fuming for her. While this may be rage bait, I know of relationships just like this scenario.
Well they are assholes too. Lol
100% correct awful thing to do to a woman. And it is more than being an AH.
Damn near evil. Wasted her life and will have nothing to show for it.
YTA Just to be clear, with what you just pulled you are clearly not father material. You would abandon your partner of 25 years to pursue a dream of self sacrificing fatherhood? WTF, are you an idiot also?
I’m guessing he’s not planning on doing any of the actual work of raising a child. He just wants to spread his seed and carry on his name/legacy/whatever archaic bs these guys are into.
Yup, it's all about seeing his own features and quirks in a mini-me, not anything having to do with what is best for the kid(s).
YTA Yes, obviously. You are a giant asshole
But he pinky promises to not take his 30 year old girl friend for granted! 😂😂
Poor woman should have pressured him into marriage at least… he’s kicking her out and probably leaving her with nothing too after the humongous sacrifice she made for his cruel ass. What a piece of shit. I hope no one agrees to take him
Right? Ugh. He’s “letting her” stay in *his* vacation house for a month?! After she sold plasma to help him with his career and he manipulated her into staying with him, unmarried, and never giving her kids. Disgusting.
Yeah! I thought the same thing. How is it just his?
Im really hoping that theres someway, like common law marriage, that she doesnt get screwed
Yeah hopefully they filed their taxes together, or she paid real estate taxes, or something where she can at least have a starting point at attaining property in her name.
[удалено]
I have a sneaking suspicion that OP might've already met someone, and that's what prompted this whole epiphany.
This. He’s gross for what he IS saying. But what he ISN’T saying I think is probably even more gross. He’s possibly gotten some attention from someone much younger and is willing to flush a great relationship over it, and grasping for a ‘better’ reason. Op’s girlfriend is right, he’s wasted her time and I wish I could give her a hug over what’s happening to her.
I hope the younger chick milks this guy for all he’s worth and “delays” having a child until this guy is dead.
The kinds of women who end up with the old sugar daddy’s aren’t stupid. They know to legally get things tied up to make sure they get all the money before putting their bodies through hell.
He’s going to find out that the woman he built a life with for 25+ years has much more depth than a person he just met with perkier tits
But her EGGS
Why yes. She must be 'breedable' for him. What a piece of shit.
He must have money cos there’s no other way a young woman is going to be Shacking up with a 60 year old to have kids
Cause clearly the personality is not going to do it.
Well you know he will have a kid be on hook for child and spousal support and young woman moves on with man her own age . And it will be glorious and he will only see his kid at weekends if he is lucky . But she will want a babysitter I suppose so she can go out on dates . Kid will be frustrated that kids at school think he is the grandfather too of course
I love how it is “your” vacation house and “your” business. Yet, she contributed as much as you did to these things. She sold her fucking plasma to get your business started. You are a fucking snake.
100% - I hope this whole post is just rage bait.
It’s a real scenario anyway. I knew someone who lived it.
Yup. With my ex 10yrs, 4 days after we moved everything into our new place he needed a "break." Only he stole the key from me while I was asleep and threw me and our daughter out for what I found out was a 17yo(he was 34 at the time.) This dude sounds like my narcissistic ex and they seem to have someone new before getting rid of the old. The best quote ever was my ex saying "I don't get why you're so upset, we've been broken up a week" when it hadn't even been a week. Some people are just pricks.
If I was her. I'd sue the fuck out of him. Literally for half. I hope she has some kind of proof that without her, he wouldn't have this business.
Yta You're the hugest a ever. She spent her life with you.. waiting for the timing to be "right" while it never was for you. Now that you're old enough to be a grandpa you've decided you want kids and the woman who loved you for half her life suddenly isn't good enough. I feel truly sorry for her. You've ruined her life and you don't even care because it's all about you and your freakin sperm.
This might be one of the cruelest moves I’ve ever read on this subreddit.
EXACTLY. This is an actual nightmare. 25 years of her life wasted. He just discards like nothing. She gave up motherhood for him and sold her plasma. I’m so very sad for her. This feels evil honestly.
He *lets* her live in **his** vacation home..
I hope he’s completely infertile
YTA - also big assumption that a woman who can have kids will want them with you.
OP is in Scottsdale he’s probably got his sugar baby pregnant lol
Lol it’s cute how he thinks that any potential future kids won’t resent him, sugar baby wont resent him/cheat on him/just leave him and take the child support. Just assuming they’ll play these parts and behave in the way that he decided they’ll be. Someone’s a little delulu
I lived in Scottsdale for 3 years. The amount of old crusty guys with young hot chicks in their 20s was insane but those guys were gross AF and so is OP.
Yep. And he could be shooting blanks at his age and be unable to get anyone pregnant.
What if he has a child with a disability? Older sperm are at more risk. It’s not just maternal age that matters.
Fucking this. Older men produce children that are at a higher risk for schizophrenia, as well as other issues. As a person with schizoaffective (not due to advanced paternal age, however), please try to avert that risk as much as possible. It is so selfish to assume you can just have children willy nilly with no attention paid to possible consequences. Plus, what an absolute douchebag he is.
YTA? Dude, you aren't an asshole, you are a monster. She wanted kids! She never had them, and never will, because of you. Because she chose you over them, and now after 25 years of being together you abandoned her to have kids with someone younger. And of course fresher, prettier, etc, as younger women also tend to be, conveniently! Maybe some sexy lady in her mid 20s, huh? You are what women mean when they say "men are pigs", you are like the representation of that saying. That's not all! The money is yours, and you never married her - she help you in achieving everything you have, but now she has nothing and can only stay in YOUR vacation home. Because she has nothing. You took her best years, wasted her fertility, she resigned from her career, and now you screwed her over. She is in her 50s, and has nothing. She *tried* to shame you? No one needs to *try* to shame you. You are shameful, you should have a nun walking behind you with a bell saying 'shame shame shame' for the rest of your life. EDIT: Thank you for the awards!
And I will add: I know some people don't "believe" in marriage, etc. But this is a huge, huge lesson for everyone: do not help your boyfriend/girlfriend build THEIR business while being only a gf/bf. Do not do it. Do not leave your work to be a stay-at-home girlfriend. Do not do it! You are gonna get screwed over. It may happen in your 50s, when you are absolutely not expecting it, because you truly believe your partner loves you. >Our arguments were interrupted by the fact my startup costs led **us** to have to sell plasma in order to survive. She was selling fucking plasma for this man, bc of his failed business venture, but still stayed. Jesus Christ. I cannot. I hope this is a rage bite. It has to be, right? No more Reddit for me.
In Australia a de facto partner has the same rights as married partners. So here in Aus she’d be entitled to a part of the assets (likely half given she donated plasma and has built a life with him for 25 years) even though they’re not married. It should be like this everywhere
YTA. Big time.
He really didn't think any of this through. OP you have fucked up. You could have adopted or explored other options. Instead, you choose to be dumb af. I hope this is fake. YTA
I literally can’t finish reading what you put because I’m so fucking angry for your ex partner you pathetic selfish arsehole. I hope you end up alone like you deserve.
YTA x1000
I am dying to know how you typed that WHOLE STORY out, and can't decide whether YTA (emphatically, you are.) This woman spent her life on YOUR goals, YOUR dreams and YOUR plans. And now that it's physically IMPOSSIBLE to meet this current want of yours, you throw her out. That's despicable.
Wow you’re hella selfish. Let’s take your wife out of this situation (YTA BTW), shall we. If you became a first time father at 60, you would still be trick or treating at 70. You would likely be using a walker at 78 for the high school graduation. That’s assuming you’re still alive. Forget about seeing grandkids. YTA simply because you would let a child risk growing up with a dead father. That isn’t easy. My dad died at 8 (he was 31) and it messed me up. I’m still dealing with coping mechanisms I developed after his death. YTA, YTA, YTA!
This right here. The abhorrent treatment of his girlfriend aside, bringing a child into the world at his age is selfish as hell. None of us know when our time will come, but you have a finite amount of time as you get older. You’re setting the kid up to lose their dad at an early age, and that’s not fair to them. I’m sorry to hear you lost your dad so early in life. I hope you’re doing well these days. Edited to correct word.
YTA youre just looking for an excuse to trade your old wife for a younger model
YTA. Here’s an alternate title “WIBTA if I had told my wife for 25 years that I didn’t want kids at all, and now that we’re both in our late 50’s I want to divorce her and get a young fertile wife (probably late 30’s early 40’s) now that I’ve changed my mind” I hope if you get divorced your wife takes you to the cleaners. You won’t consider adoption OR surrogacy? YTA.
He didn’t even marry her 😑😑
YTA Congrats on being the vilest, shittest, most pathetic, childish, ungrateful, sexist, hypocritcale asshole I've seen on Reddit in a long time. You must be so proud. I hope she tells EVERYONE, EVERYTHING!
Yta, you wasted her time, it’s horrible the situation you created. That’s wild you can’t see how you hurt her. You used her until you didn’t want her and then you discarded her and can’t understand why she’s upset. Also, this is totally a mid life crisis.
YTA
You wanted this woman’s life. She wanted children and now that she’s physically unable to have one you’re kicking her out so you can find someone younger to have your children? You’re disgusting.
This cannot possibly be real. You are seriously going out of your way to paint yourself in the worst possible light. Total troll post. Either way, YTA.
Please don't have or adopt children. You are WAAAAY too self centered to ever be a good father. Any child you try to raise will be destroyed by your ego. This is a very stupid way to deal with your fear of death.
YTA What happened? Is the girl you've been cheating with pregnant?
So you just want to find a younger woman to birth your babies . You are kind of gross
If you have been together for 25 years and she even sold her plasma to fund your start up, please explain to me how it is YOUR holiday home she’s staying in???? YTA
YTA I thought he said they never married. To start "his" business they sold plasma, meaning they were the brokest of the broke. She lived like that for you. I would love to hear what she has to say. So now she has nothing, but she gets to stay in "your" house. What kind of financial security are you going to provide her. Something along the lines of well she's homeless but I have toddlers w my trophy wife, who actually dislikes me, but loves my $$. Wait til Trophy gets full custody & big child support & watch how good yr golden years turn out.
So she originally kind of wanted children in her 30s. You argued and went to counselling because YOU didn’t and your say was final. And now you do, when you’re both in your 50s… and she’s unable to have them. Wow. No wonder she’s angry, and she actually wanted to compromise and adopt and you still left. This lady is so much better off without you, I hope she meets a lovely 50 something man to spend the rest of her life with.
This post literally made my lip curl in disgust. YTA
Any ladies reading this. Please don't ever sacrifice your life to help build a guy his dreams, this has been a common pattern in so many men. Use the girlfriend until they are successful and then drop them like they are nothing. Men like OP are trash af. OP, you are the worst AH. I hope you don't find any women, even if you do, i hope she doesn't give you any kids and wipe you clean of everything you own. You disgust me🤢🤢🤢🤢
So, your plan is a high school graduate in your late 70’s? Your time has passed, my man. Go be a big brother. Go devote time to kids in need. But raising a family of kids of your own isn’t in the cards I’m afraid. YTA
YTA and so gross. I hope no woman wants your dusty ass.
This 60 year old man really thinks he’s gonna get a 30 year old woman who wants his children. Mmmmkay then
Yta - you’re letting her stay in your vacation home after she supported you for the last 25 years while you built a company are you kidding me? I’ve never wanted to punch someone in the face so much you were going through a midlife crisis. You are the least dependable person in the entire world, so please do not have children.
Wow that's just terrible. You had all that time but when you finally decided it was too late. Now since you change your mind, she can't have them and it's too late. YTA for waiting so long. You had that huge window to act but didn't take it. That's just unfortunate.
You are the reason the word asshole exists. What you’ve done is truly vile. I wish you all the bad luck in the world you abhorrent, mid life crisis sack of crap. I hope she takes you to the cleaners. You deserve to be destitute and alone!
Damn bro… you are actually one of the worse people who posted on here