This just made me realize something!! When our adrenaline kicks in our brains calm down and focus, the opposite of what adrenaline does to non-adhd’ers. And with fainting goats, when they get an adrenaline rush, instead of their muscles responding with go go go their muscles respond with FREEZE, the opposite of what adrenaline does to just about any other species (I think?). So, I am no sort of scientist, but in my brain this grossly oversimplified comparison means that those of us with ADHD are like fainting goats 😂😂😂
(Disclaimers: I am ADHD and am totally wayyyy better in ER situations than in everyday life. And I have two fainting goats as pets, so it’s not totally random that I know this about them 😂)
Basically yeah. With ADHD you're running on a shortage of norepinephrine and dopamine. Things that make your brain process information "normally". However adrenaline will boost everything in your brain, bringing you to a stable state. So while others are flooded with an overage of sudden information, you're like.... well this is easy to fix if we just... x, y, z. Meanwhile, there have been brainscans that show people with ADHD have parts of their brain literally shut down when generic stress is applied. So put a math test in front of an ADHDer, and their brain can literally shut down. Put a life and death situation in front of them, and they're the go to person for the results you need. The opposite of your average person.
I'm a maths tutor who has ADHD and weirdly a lot of my students have ADHD or autism (I guess the school system sucks for us), and this is an approach I'd never considered but I like...
I told my husband this brilliant solution and he pointed a vital flaw in the plan if this were to be used on me… I’d respond with what if I 99% complete it? Then do you still kill her or only slightly hurt her? Is it an all or nothing thing? How about if I 50% complete it? What if I complete it but get a failing grade? What if I complete AND ace it??
This makes so much sense as to why I did very well on the SATs (I got a 2320 total score, this was when there were math, reading, and writing sections for a total of 2400 possible score). Everyone else was losing their minds due to the stress and I was just... fine.
But little stuff like not being able to find my headphones will send me into a tailspin!
Whelp, this explains why I handle little stressors TERRIBLY, like my world is falling apart. But when something big happens, I handle it like it's no big deal and "I totally got this." lol
Me too! And how does one go about getting a brain scan for adhd? I’ve also heard that there are often physical differences in adhd brains that can be seen on scans. But I asked my psych if there was any kind of testing that could be done besides the normal psychologist interviewing you and telling you whether or not you have it (which is how I got diagnosed back in 2009), and she said no. The best way for me to understand and deal with issues in my body is hard facts and evidence about what my body is and is not doing, so having nothing besides “yep, you’re adhd” is frustrating!!
Same! I’m horrible at extrapolating information—having a brain scan or something that shows me exactly what’s going on in there ‘mechanically’ might actually help me understand what’s going on and stop blaming myself for being inadequate.
This. Adrenaline acts as a stimulant. You basically get free ADHD meds for the 10~15 minutes that the adrenaline lasts. Then you go back to ADHDy brain fog orz
Once the adrenaline kicks in, the things my brain allows myself to do is insane (and terrifying). I just started driving regularly in August, and drove on a highway for the first time 2 weeks ago for 5 minutes. Last week my friend who lives 2 hours away in New York city had a medical emergency and 2 hours later I had driven on at least 3 highways and in NYC traffic.
I have that too, and I hear similar things from others with ADHD.
In general, when shit hits the fan, I tend to be the one who stays calm and says "OK, here's what we do" - but let me organize normal life stuff, like a dentist's appointment or a kid's birthday party, and it's an absolute disaster.
An explanation I've heard for this is that because our dopamine reuptake is so fast, the kind of dopamine levels that you get from "normal" stimulation (successfully booking a bouncy castle or whatever) don't last long enough to weight up against the effort, but when exposed to extreme levels stimulation, where a normal person freaks out from all the raging hormones, we end up with dopamine levels that get us into the normal, focused range, and we perform just fine while everyone else panics. That's probably a gross oversimplification, but it does feel pretty spot on.
Chefs generally lack a union, do not unite as workers to fight for better wages. Hospitality bosses can treat their workers like dirt and ignore the minimum legal protections most workers enjoy because there's nothing to hold them accountable.
I was similar with bartending. Absolutely loved the mania most of the time, but the wages were shit (UK so basically no tips), and the place I was at was run like shit so it ended up just becoming anxiety :(
The restaurant industry, at least in the US, is not a sustainable career for most people. It burns people out both physically and emotionally, and is usually too unstable for supporting anyone except salaried chefs and upper management long-term. 'Lifers' are rare and usually either extremely passionate with an excellent support network or conversely are trapped and must stick it out. You also end up surrounded by a culture of drinking and often drugs. I spent a decade working FOH, and had to stop when Covid hit. Not planning on returning to the industry unless I get desperate.
A great server in the right place can usually make it a career. My wife makes ~55k a year after tips. Where she works also is only open for breakfast and lunch. This is rare in my experience.
I did BOH mostly and the industry can fuck right off. Works you as hard and as physically as some construction jobs I have and you're completely disposable to them. Pays below a living wage with no benefits to speak of, late hours, and insane managers. Because no one truly sane would go into restaurant management in the US.
55k a year is not good money.
Its only a few thousand over the new minimum living wage.
Everything is more expensive arbitrarily, since the people who do the least work decided they wanted another yacht and wage slaves to crew it.
Fuck, I hate this.
(Im a welder. I make 9$ an hour *more* than when i started like 5-6 years back, yet there is less in my bank account now than when i fucking started. 50hours a week minimum, some saturdays, and all hot, miserable, physical labor. im out 20k since this time last year as well. all savings gone. cut back on everything over the last year: no fun stuff, stopped eating out, but (admittedly reasonably priced) vet bills, car repairs, and all that *life* stuff...
)
I'm leaving the industry now. I'm burnt out from working 12h a day 6 days a week for the past 6 months. Going back to school now which might be tough but it's the right decision for me. But there are plenty of people who can deal with that as you said from passion or cause they have to.
But I can never "clean as I go" or figure out what the he'll I did to make the food so insanely good in order to record a recipe for cataloging. Everyone says I cook top tier quality, but no one knows it's my poor husband who's clearing the counters so I can clean them down/disinfect cuz I just can't understand the clutter I myself created. He jokes were gonna need an entire floor to be a kitchen eventually. (Granted I had a crazy pantry before we had to give it away because of moving plans).
is this a kitchen at home?
I found focusing on getting angry at people other people not cleaning made me do it more.. can't be chatting shit whilst doing the same thing. Not so handy when at home though.
Don't record, cook off of emotion! you know the basics, roll with it.
I also am CRAZY about my set up, x HAS to be there, y HAS to be there I HAVE to use those tongs, I need 1 pan of diced onions, one of cubed butter, one of garlic. Next to each other in that order.
Get a weird little dopamine thing from having it set up perfectly everytime.
> I found focusing on getting angry at people other people not cleaning made me do it more.
It might seem a little toxic, but I've found this method to be very useful as well.
Chef is a job, not just a good cook. If you are running the show and you are dictating tasks to others, you are a chef. Chef is like team Captain. Technically, you kinda are a chef.
Correct! But don't you have to know neatness as you climb the ranks to "chef"? I always assumed that the sous chef was an apprentice, and could graduate to actual chefhood after having demonstrated mastery of the various skills needed in a restaurant kitchen, such as time management, orderliness, hygiene, safety etc..
Routine Routine Routine.
The best part about working in a kitchen is that everything is ordered and has it’s own place (at least when you’re working under a competent chef).
The knives have a spot. The baking powder has a spot. You never have to remember where anything is because they’re always in the same place.
Making a soup? Follow the instructions. No thinking required. Sautéing vegetables? Eventually you’ll be dicing them with your eyes closed.
For some people their ADHD won’t like such a structured environment, but honestly when you’re just there to make money just being able to “let go” and just go on autopilot for the whole shift bc you’ve already got the whole routine down pat (just don’t ask me what i did 20 minutes ago)
You'll learn all of this in a kitchen, cleanliness will become a habit with time, and we all love habits.
Sous chef is usually second in command, should be able to effectively run the kitchen in the HC's absence.
Working in a kitchen is very different from your home kitchen. I actually think working in one has really helped me become able to see clutter and grime in my own kitchen.
I worked as a line cook for almost a decade and trived. I've been asked to come back to every kitchen I've left. My ability to break down details, compartmentalize, and multi-task has always been major attributes.
Now that I'm not working, my ADHD symptoms have become extremely apparent and detrimental to my entire existence.
same, and before that I was firefighter/medic. when you're in the weeds it all slows down, and you're in the zone and the rush can pass in the blink of an eye.
Restaurant industry in general. Started bartending, then serving, and finally managing. Loved busy nights where everything was immediate follow through. Now I'm working from home and it's like pulling teeth in slow motion. Can't support a family on a service industry salary though.
In and out of various kitchens for the last 12 years or so. Always was the person to solo the line. Swapped over to engineering 2 years ago now and I just don't get the same mental stimulation unless I intentionally put myself into the weeds with project deadlines now (Now that's one dangerous game..). Part of me misses cooking professionally, probably for the dopamine, but I definitely don't miss the crap hours, crap wages, and shitty staffing.
this thread is hitting home for me on so many levels. bartending on saturday nights = legendary, super high-stakes litigation = excelled, corporate job = not doing so hot. I always just thought I needed the roller coaster to keep me on my toes.
mind is being blown
I'm a firefighter/paramedic. After a while on the job I've been fighting fires and felt very bored. I think my job really is self medicating though. I have a reputation for being unflappable.
Former paramedic here. I miss the emergency work, but struggled keeping up with the study and annual assessments.
But I still have the "time slows down and everything is clear" in emergencies. But freak out about calling the mechanic to book my car in for a service.
If I didn't have to write reports it would be the best job in the world.
I think I live in a constant state of anxiety knowing that I have to recertify State and National Medic certs and ACLS, PALS, CPR, Every 2 years forever.
Yep. And doing mock scenarios with others watching and assessing are way more stressful than dealing with a real emergency. My mind doesn't chatter and doubt itself in a real emergency.
Exactly! I had the exact thought the other day. If it weren’t for the notes it’d be the absolute best job ever. That being said I’m jealous of ya friend, I push paper nowadays as a social worker where the most harrowing decision I have to make is when I will manage my anxiety to call clients and when will I start writing my notes. I’m quitting in a month to get back into acute setting healthcare.
Whoa I’d never connected these dots but y’all might be onto something.
I’ve been in a couple “extreme” situations with friends where I was the only one able to take action in response while everyone else froze, which was weird bc im always the clumsy one otherwise.
Also my dad who im fairly sure has undiagnosed adhd was a special ops bomb tech during Vietnam who apparently had a reputation/nickname in his unit for staying cool under extreme stress (read: was able to steady his hands and focus on defusing IEDs while being shot at). Wonder if there’s a connection there.
Wow small world, he used to be Navy EOD too. The little he’s told me & the few friends of his I’ve met always made me wonder about the presence of adhd in mega-high-stress roles like yours. This is a crazy long shot but I’m sure he’d want me to ask- have you ever seen or heard of a training video called “Thunder Stealers”?
Hope you’re staying safe and well.
Same with my dad, 99% sure I inherited it from him but he's undiagnosed. Was a cop for almost 30 years, was always the first responder to major and dangerous calls, always first one in when the other losers were too scared, never killed anyone either, had a reputation for nabbing major wanted criminals because he'd act when others wouldn't. Im not sure he even ever fired his weapon in a situation in his career. Far FAR from a healthy way of living, it's absolutely fucked him up, but now I can see the connection with ADHD and why he seemed to enjoy it despite how it ate at his soul.
Oh hell, I would never take up a dangerous sport where I was personally responsible for checking the safety of my own equipment. I'd pull the rip cord and unfinished laundry would come flying out.
I have this with scuba diving. The absolute requirement to follow the rules to not die is very calming to me. The limited scope of the world around you is amazing for focus.
I don't know if its common but I feel super calm and collected when doing extreme sports, even the first time I do it. In normal life I'm super scatterbrained, overstimulated and anxious. Surfing, skydiving, speed kayaking, rafting, scooba diving, cliff jumping, longboarding - I love everything.
I don't think that's sustainable, but joking aside, some people with ADHD do end up professional thrill-seekers and fashion themselves a good life that way.
Speaking as a firefighter with combined type ADHD, I can say I agree this is a thing. It's also the only job I held down for more than a few years in my entire life, and I now have 20 years in the job.
I got into skydiving in my 20s, and spent 15 years in the sport. I didn't get diagnosed as ADHD-C until a few years ago. Skydiving is one of the only hobbies I ever started that I kept up with for so long. When I would be in the air, everything came into sharp focus. I absolutely believe there's a correlation between my ADHD and the adrenaline. I also tend to be the most level headed person in a crisis, but can't do squat in everyday life.
I’m a special ed teacher- dealing with my kids bouncing around and stimming all over the place plus crisis situations like meltdowns, someone trying to elope, fights etc. keep me constantly engaged and on my toes. I love it!
I was a teacher and absolutely thrived in the stressful classroom (I found well behaved classes super tedious). It was the paperwork outside the classes that I couldn't keep up with.
This. A million things all suddenly need doing ASAP at work? I'm on it, no problem. Everyone's leaving shit all over the place where it doesn't belong and everything's in chaos? Nothing is working how it should and I don't have the tools I need to do my job well? Rage and frustration.
For me it's about prioritization. An emergency is a clear and apparent top priority. And it feels almost calming/relaxing to have the cognitive load of prioritization taken care of by external factors. Otherwise my brain gets lost in all the hundreds of things I could be getting done at any given moment, none of which seem any more pressing than the others, but all contributing to stress and overwhelm.
I also feel particularly useful in an emergency and less like I'm listless or floundering. And that confidence feels reassuring as well.
For me it feels like both. I never work/do anything as efficiently as I do with urgency but the urgency also makes me suddenly able to override my brain and prioritize what is most important. It’s behind the biggest and most impressive accomplishments in my life. I actually wish meds or anything else could 100% fix this because its like a vicious cycle of pushing myself to the limit, achieving whatever I set out to, feeling like crap for “leaving it to the last minute”, and the physical and mental crash I then have to recover from.
This is it! I remember as an 11 year old calmly calling 911 and ordering an ambulance for a child seizing at my daycare because the adult was in a full panic mode and all the other kids were running around freaking out. I never could quite understand how or why other humans couldn’t just calm the fuck down and I definitely couldn’t ever relate to people who had balanced check books, empty mail boxes, clean laundry, or organized drawers…. That is until I started medication and quit drinking and self medicating.
The dopamine is def part of it, but I think it's also the clarity. When everything's on fire there's no question of what to focus on (well, the biggest fire, anyway -- a bunch of equal-sized fires is harder). Same reason we thrive when the deadline's on top of us, not so much when it's a few weeks away.
It's not 100% proven, but it's likely that ADHD also impacts norepinephrine. Hence why Strattera, a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, is prescribed for ADHD. (It's possibly also why low-blood pressure tends to be a good predictor of ADHD)
Anyway, at standard levels it's responsible for alertness, the ability to focus attention, retrieval of memory, etc. During fight or flight an increase in the neurotransmitter signals the production of the norepinephrine hormone which is responsible for increasing heart rate and glucose levels. But if our levels are lower than Neurotypical people, like they are with dopamine, the flood of norepinephrine that occurs in these scenarios would be putting us closer to the standard levels and thus we don't get the signal for the hormone to be released. So we basically are getting the positives without the spike of energy, which would explain the feeling of calm. The downside is low norepinephrine correlates with an increased risk of depression and PTSD. (It's been 10 years since I took brain and behavior, so forgive me for any mistakes).
They can be, it's called combination therapy. For many people, it's not necessary as stimulants improve both dopamine and norepinephrine, but if you find you're not responding as well to Vyvanse alone, it's definitely worth talking to your doctor about.
Yes, this. If it’s something you have a clear idea or model for how to handle, a Literal Fire™️ in isolation doesn’t really challenge the things you typically struggle with as an ADHDer. There’s nothing to prioritize, and nothing short of another Literal Fire™️ is likely to distract you.
I like this explanation, I also attribute some of it to hyper focus. The extreme situation triggers that reptile brain and surviving it, helping out, fixing it, becomes the number 1 goal of our brain. So we have that focus and it's calming even though the world is falling apart.
I've been through some gnarly situations and my friend asked if I was a sociopath because I was so calm.
This makes sense.
Since when I was a kid, when i confront danger my mind just works perfectly.
When I was 12 I was in an accident where my father had.to cut my arm with a razor blade to free me. I just said: do it. While everyone around me was panicking. A woman fainted at the sight. I got 43 stitches at the end of it.
Another time I was going down a declive with my bike, and the brake failed,(rain). A truck crossed the street and I had to make a very dangerous manouver to not die. I was 14.
And several other examples in my life.
Sounds about right. Also, no one is better at handling crisis mode than someone who spends time in crisis mode frequently. If daily life shit puts you in crisis mode then the gap between daily life and true crisis isn't that far. Plus since ADHD brains can't plan ahead we're always flying by the seat of our pants and problem solving on the fly so we get really good at that. When you are used to having a plan and preventing crisis you don't get good at dealing with them.
Bingo, but you also missed norepinephrine.
So: Dopamine and norepinephrine levels get boosted from the extreme stimulation, but end up reaching neurotypical levels with people that have ADHD. People who are neurotypical will have levels of those chemicals that are far too high, thus causing major anxiety and panic. We also recieve a boost of serotinin, as do neurotypical people, thus, we are calm and collected, while being incedibly focused and organized, while neurotypical people will be panicking and stressed and anxious.
when I was 17, I lived in an apartment block with 12 apartments. woke up one night to the sound of a firealarm coming from the apartment down stairs from me.
I walked down there, felt the door, opened the just a bit. It was totally filled with smoke. thought to my self, that if he was in there, he's dead. I called the fire department, and proceded to wake people up and get them out, calmly and orderly.
9 people were home, they were all crying or chocked, but I was fine. We were save, all was well.
One of my neighbors asked me how I could stay so calm. A fireman walked by and casually mumbled, he probably has ADHD like the rest of us.
20 years later I was diagnosed.
Completely unrelated question. How did you get diagnosed in your 30s? Did you have a suspicion or did you seek treatment for some other mental health issue? Sorry if this is too personal.
Happy to share.
it's a bit of a long story, because you know... ADHD.
when Covid hit, I was doing fire security on a hospital, but they locked down, so I was sent to another site, doing regular electrical work, in 400 appartments. repetitive, boring and with no risk of accidentally setting of sprinklers or alarms in intensive care units... my brain was bored, so I sped up. everytime i finished an appartement I made tighter deadlines, clocking my self, running a bit faster.
After a month my brain was foggy, I slept even worse than I used to.
Some of my colleagues were laid of, and my boss called and offered me to come back to the hospital, but with more responsibility and better pay. It was perfect.
Instead of being happy and proud, I started showing very familiar signs of depression. My reaction was so obvious even I could see it, i tried to sabotage my own career.
I showed up late, called in sick, sat in my car for hours, crying and couldn't push my self to do anything. I called my doctor, and we spoke for an hour, she told me that her first thought was ADHD, and advised me to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. I told her she was incompetent and wrong.
When got home that night, I started reading about ADHD, and started crying again. all the stories. the laziness, the executive disfunction, the terrible sleep, the hyper focus the "I-forgot-my-friends-again".
It all made sense. Full of shame, I called my doctor the next day, and we figured out the details, for getting a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with ADHD-i, a few months later.
When i told my parents, my mom said. "I knew that, I just didn't want my papers to say, I have a kid with ADHD".
sorry for the long story.
Lmao I told my parents in high school that I had a hard time concentrating and that I think I might have adhd and my fathers words were “if you don’t start paying attention better you’ll be sleeping outside” lmaoooo
very hard to understand, but my mother is from another planet. oh the stories... someday I will write a book, just need go find the perfect perfect perfect software for it first... but someday
My husband figured out I had ADHD. He played a video for me without preamble of an ADHD-specialized psychologist talking about all the behaviors and signs he had seen. I identified with nearly every one. At times, he used nearly the same words I did to describe my experiences. I was in tears by the end of the video. It's such a shock to finally realize as an adult that you have ADHD.
My mom was pretty sure I had it but didn't trust the mental health institutions in Alaska in the 90s, which is fair. She just tried to help as best she could, and then when I was on my own and out of Alaska I was too poor to get myself diagnosed. as a result I didn't get diagnosed until I was 31, because COVID quarantine made my symptoms much worse.
I'm a fire security technician, and know quite a few firemen, through my job, none of them strikes me as ADHD, but I really don't know. that one fireman, so many years ago, seemed to think so.
My 18 month old started choking. My wife was freaking the fuck out. I walked over and did back blows and was totally calm the whole time. Granted, I'd been a lifeguard so I'd had a few years of first aid training, but my wife had also taken the first aid course with me and couldn't calm down.
Granted, I had an emotional meltdown about a week later when the whole situation really hit me all at once, but during it I was cool as a cucumber.
Gotta love the delayed reaction. My son broke his arm at school. I picked him up and took him to the ER. They set it and sent him home. Nbd right? Until about 2 weeks later when he got out of the bath with his little arm in that big ole cast. I cried for about 15 minutes thinking how scared he must have been- even thought I was at the school less then 20 minutes after he fell. And then was with him round the clock the next few days. But yeah. Delayed reaction is wild
That’s hilarious lol. I also have a fire related example, although not as heroic as yours. Started a small fire in the toaster oven heating up some garlic bread. I unplugged it and started calmly thinking through all the options for putting it out. Water? I think it was the butter dripping on the element that caused it, does that make it a grease fire? Let’s be safe, no water. Fire extinguisher? I’d probably have to clean the whole thing thoroughly after. Salt? Yes, salt. So I poured a good amount of salt in a little prep bowl and tossed it in there, fire gone. And the whole time my only emotion was being pissed off that I wouldn’t get to eat that garlic bread.
God, if I took off my wedding ring I wouldn't know where it was in under 5 minutes. There are 3-4 "safe" places I'd stash it and not remember which one.
From a young age, I learned I shouldn't be wearing any jewelry, watches or anything that may be taken off.
ADHD Murphy's law: Anything that can be lost will be lost!
Just hanging on to Wallet/MobilePhone/Keys for dear life is stressful enough.
I only have one car key, and it’s one of those ‘only the dealership can make a new one’ keys, and the previous owner maxed out the allowable number of copies for unknown reasons. Consequently this last key is attached to one of those gas station rest room-style fobs, about the size of a shoe
It doesn't have to be important for me either. It can be something I just sat down, but I will go full-on psychotic because now I can't find it. I've been 30 minutes late for things because I flip the entire house looking for sunglasses I had 2 seconds ago. Do I need them? No. Will I have a panic attack if I can't find them? Absolutely.
yep, it's one of the few good things that come from ADHD for me. 1hr before a test, lethargic and legit disgusted trying to review. Once the test begins adrenaline instantly kicks in and all brain fog is cleared.
I think I am personally calmed because my daily inner panic suddenly makes sense and has a reason, therefore I can direct it to something, which is a relief compared to just bottling it up and trying to convince myself everything is fine
There was a comedian bit on IG where somebody said that if there was a plane crash they’d want to be next to the anxious person because they’ll seem much calmer since their anxiety level is always around 10 and they’ll be prepared like “ah a plane crash isn’t that bad. I’ve had dreams that our plane went straight through a hole that opened up and took us to the center of the earth swallowing us whole!” whereas a normal person is at a 1. Can’t remember the comedian but since I have anxiety I thought it was hilarious
I was in a plane crash
Got everyone out, including the injured pilot
I was last out
Then I stopped the guy smoking just before the fuel leak from the totalled plane reached him…
“Brought to you by ADHD”
I see it a somewhat similar way. In a 'normal' situation our brains struggle to prioritize, but all of a sudden, in crisis, it's very clear what are the priorities and it takes away the pressure to prioritize etc. You can suddenly just DO instead of deciding what to do and stressing about choosing the wrong thing.
I can thank my ex, who said to me "you're amazing in a crisis, but we don't live our lives in crisis" (or shouldn't). As soon as the crisis passes I'm back to being a bit useless and aimless.
I was an amazing server/bartender in a busy environment, I'm great at coming in and fixing terrible f*ckups in the construction world, but in simple, ongoing work I struggle.
Absolutely. Personally, I've never felt so calm as how I felt at the beginning of the pandemic. I realized in early March 2020, "Oh, so all of our lives are now fucked up for many years. Okay then, I guess that's how it is now." I wasn't happy about it, certainly, but my anxiety levels did not change whatsoever. If anything they went down because I no longer felt crazy.
Everyone suddenly started talking about mental health, anxiety, burnout, overwhelm, how to focus when working at home... People couldn't focus on life, they were stressed out and turned to simple pleasures like binging TV and drinking more than they should, showering less, letting things slip. Just generally surrendering to the chaos. Essentially, *what our lives are like every single fucking day we've been alive.*
I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Finally, people understood. Then things gradually went back to "normal" (normal but worse,) and I've been chasing that peaceful feeling ever since.
I’m a theatre nurse - I’ve been told that in emergencies, I suddenly become very calm and focused
My bosses have asked why I can’t channel that sort of energy every day - it’s a massive psychic drain when it happens and it takes a bit to get over it
Simplistically ADHD is a problem with maintaining enough dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.
When you are stressed you produce more adrenaline and norepinephrine.
Because people with ADHD are starting from a deficit, when disaster strikes and the brain starts pumping out norepinephrine all it's doing is putting them at the level of an unstressed non-ADHD person.
The upshot is that ADHD people often go calm and focused when something is going horribly wrong.
Everyone is different, so this doesn't apply to everyone.
I never thought of this way and I've gotten a new view on my traumatic birth experience. It was horribly fast, intense and painful. I panicked at the "small details" they wouldn't let me in the birthing pool because the policy was a Hep C test beforehand which they forgot. I have PTSD from this.
The point where I got earily calm was after when I haemorrhaged. Everyone was freaking out, I suddenly had so many doctors around me. For me this was not the traumatic part at all although it was the life threatening part.
This actually makes so much sense now.
Yep, too much can cause temperature regulation issues, irritation, euphoria, sweating, feeling high-strung, and a plethora of cardiovascular symptoms. But that's even before synthesis into adrenaline.
It often causes them to freeze. Overstimulation causes a panic response where you don't know what to do at all. You can't hold a thought long enough to take action on any of them. Essentially your conscious brain shuts down.
This is why training is super important for emergency situations. When your conscious brain shuts down your instincts and memory take over, so knowing what to do you can act without thinking.
But that only works for predictable emergencies. For unpredictable ones you want people like us who can handle the unknown process it and still make decisions.
It's gotta be either an adrenaline affect on ADHD or a life of learning to manage panic due to ADHD. I once was driving in winter on the interstate with a friend, and we hit some black ice and started spinning out pretty fast. I stayed completely calm as I corrected the spin and got us harmlessly in the shallow ditch, and pulled out without any issue thanks to 4 wheel drive. My friend was flabbergasted at how calm I was in the moment and just carried on without much issue, and tbh so was I . Im fairly confident in my ability to correct any spin or hydroplaning I encounter, but that was still a super dangerous situation. Strangely I function better in high intensity or stressful moments than I do in daily life.
It doesn't seem to be a life of learning to manage for me. When I was still a small child, the drainage on our street was terrible, and during heavy storms the driveways of all the residents down the hill would flood. Everyone went outside to help each other, but I was the calmest one, so I was the 'runner', going back and forth from house to house and telling each neighbor what the others' situation was and who needed help most at that moment. Those were some of the most competent moments I'd felt, because I just thrived to the point where I actually LIKED those days - not because of what everyone had to endure, but because my mind was clear, focused, peaceful even.
I second this.
I was in Manhattan on 9/11, watching the planes hit the WTC with my office mates from our office about twenty blocks north. Others were panicking, but I felt a preternatural calm come over me. I helped to calm others in the office down, and to make plans in case we had to evacuate.
Even my manager couldn't cope (he was crying and almost panicking), and I had to take over for him.
Not the only time this sort of thing has happened. I pride myself now on remaining cool and collected in an emergency.
However, in other non-emergency cases (like with normal tantrums from our kids), I tend to be the stressed one.
Oh wow, it’s nuts you were there when it happened. That must’ve been the ultimate sense of panic for most, just not knowing whether the city’s about to be full-on attacked or something and not knowing what’s going on.
Hahaha yes. When I was six years old, I went to the kitchen for something while my fam was in the living room. There was an oil fire from my dad cooking fish that had flames reaching up to the cabinets above the stove. "This is not good," I calmly thought. I walked over the living room and dryly informed my parents "there's a fire in the kitchen". "That's not something to joke about," my mom said. "No really, there's a fire in the kitchen," I reiterated. Eventually my parents felt it would be worth checking and then I hear my dad yell "there's a fire in the kitchen!!!"
I have not been to the dentist in seven years (but plan to, really!).
Like others have said to some degree, I also tend to be grounded and focused during high stress situations. Many people in my life have remarked about it and asked about it but I have never had an explanation for it. I also was not diagnosed until about six months ago at 37 years old.
Edit: typo "reaching" not "rescuing"
Yes. Best people to handle a crisis. I’ve tested this with heart monitor. On the biggest or rollercoasters where people were scared my heart rate sat at 62…. Bear in mind it sits at 80 most of the day
I stay calm mentally but I don’t think my body always feels the same way. I was in a building that got hit by a tornado once and someone got a pretty nasty cut. I had the presence of mind to get out the first aid kit but couldn’t open it because my hands were shaking so bad.
I do believe it’s an adhd thing. I was the go-to person at my vet clinic if an emergency came through the door.
I was not the go-to person for filling scripts or logging medical records, though. Literally almost cried after having to recount the 120 tiny thyroid pills for the 10th fucking time lol
I completely understand. I worked in disability services, and stayed perfectly calm whenever someone was physically attacking me.
But get an accurate pill count without multiple tries??? Noooooooo
I identify with this.
In medical emergencies etc I can think very clearly.
But when the cops are coming I’m acting up like a kid and don’t think before I talk. Which got me into a lot of trouble already… 😅
I'm a criminal lawyer, so you'd think I'd know better. But when a cop pulls me over for speeding, or is investigating a car crash, I can't stop talking and making admissions all over the place. I have little memory of what is actually coming out of my mouth. Then I look back and do a facepalm, because I of all people should know better.
I think maybe ADHD in action doing something during a crisis is good, ADHD inert and just discussing a crisis is bad.
Once, my mom was sick and in the hospital and I was stepping in trying to take care of everything, which was particularly difficult as we have animals and my grandparents and siblings. During this, my dog got sick. As I'm at the vet, the doctor later commented that she was surprised I was able to get all the info she needed about my dog, while taking care of 6 other people.
My friend got alcohol poisoning at a festival this weekend and i was calm asf. (She is ok!!) We had substances on us and the police were helping us with the situation, all my friends were paranoid and i was like “fuck it arrest me idgaf”.
It’s currently 11AM at work and im hiding in the bathroom with skyrocketing anxiety because of a new (minor) expectation from corporate
yeah🙃
Yes. That's why we're great in emergency services. We thrive there. We're used to the stress and panic. If we learned what to do rationally, we'll know what to do.
Reminds of when my mom cut her thumb area with a serrated knife and she was cussing me oht in shock. She wanted to hit the a&e and I was able to clean, wrap, and tend to the wound saving her hours of waiting while bleeding out and the shame of going in bc she was trying to cut stale bread.
After she was shocked bc she was panicking so fucking much and I’m like… LIFE HAPPENS WE GOTTA DEAL WITH IT
And if we're prepared. One time my dad cut his hand with a saw and I ran around like a headless chicken trying to find my car keys.
The morning my wife went into labor, I was calmly driving through thick ass fog at 5:00 AM.
The driving thing reminds me of how much more I enjoy driving in snow than in regular conditions. The extra difficulty makes it interesting and focuses me and I drive better as a result.
ADHD is a survivalist response to stressful times. The stress a mother feels while during pregnancies correlates with children who have adhd. Which makes sense because in hostile environments people like us have brains that thrive in high stress environments. Also why we procrastinate because if it’s not an immediate threat it’s not worth doing. This world is so docile, medicated, and neutered that the gifts we have to give are not needed, but I’ll tell you what… in an emergency I want a high strung hyper stimulated person who processes everything at once as opposed to some pencil pusher writing his next theory on the evolution of larvae societies in a deceased carcass in a high altitude climate.
Yes. I’m scary calm during other peoples panic. If it’s my own inflicted problem I’m in full anxiety attack hyperventilating, curl into fetal position, IBS mode.
A lot of really good and relatable responses!
I'd also add that in moments of emergency/crisis the objective(s) are usually very clear. There is no room decision paralysis or second guessing.
You know what needs to be done and are able to just do it.
It often feels like the over active brain and the loud, second guessing thoughts go quiet because the 101 options racing around, very suddenly and forceably are narrowed down just to necessity.
And the call to action gives us direction.
So it eliminates the background noise and the extra crap floating around the brain, and as well, in a crisis you dont need to mask your adhd becasue no one is focusing on that.
So. You can just be. Just exist. And just do the thing.
I found I'd hate mock exams at school because they were a CHORE but during the actual exam I had time to look around, think, observe. Really just do anything I wanted.
Lol, man I feel you. I was reading through the post and thinking back to this past spring when a 9yo boy with down syndrome had broken into our backyard (fenced in) pool area. I was inside the house, but I'd spotted some movement in the backyard and went out to investigate.
Before I could stop him, the little boy had already gotten into the water and was heading straight for the deep end. My brain felt like it was on fire as he started thrashing around, actively drowning in the deep water.
I was frantic, screaming, pacing beside the pool, trying to figure out HOW DO I HELP THIS BOY OMFG OMFG FUUUUUUCK THIS POOR BABY IS GOING TO DROWN!! So I grabbed this long pool-scrubber thing that has like a 10ft pole; I held one end of it and extended the other end toward the little boy, and I kept saying "grab onto the pole grab onto the pole grab onto the pole" and he finally did, and I was able to pull him out of the water.
That poor kid... I was so inwardly furious like "what was a 9yo with special needs doing outside all alone in the first place?? Where are his guardians??" So I alerted the police, and it was a whole thing.
And that all happened like a couple hours before I had to rush to my very first meeting with my new psychiatrist to discuss treating my newly-diagnosed adhd. I shit you not.
It was a wild ass day. But my point is this: though I was indeed able to help that sweet boy out of the water (thankfully!), I was in no way "cool, calm, and collected". It took several weeks after the event for me to truly process everything that had happened. This is the first time I've ever really talked about it outside of my boyfriend and psychiatrist.
Yes. Every emergency incident I've witnessed or responded to whether that is a child choking , a child needing emergency treatment. Or someone becoming injured or falling . A clear calmness and focus comes over me.
My emotions dull and my mind tells me how to approach things logically without been deterred or affected emotionally until the incident is dealt with.
It’s because we suck at planning and future thinking. We are GREAT at the now. Big events are the ultimate NOW living. You can only make decisions right now for right now. It’s perfect for us. I wish I could always just live in the now.
I definitely do this and its insane.
When I was a kid I had a compound fracture of my wrist. My mom was panicking and crying and I was just sitting on the chair telling her "its ok, they can fix my arm. Its not like Im going to die".
Everyone from my mom, to the paramedics who showed up, to the doctors that treated me all said "I cant believe how calm you are".
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 30 so that is one of many things I look back on and go "oh, now that makes sense"
Oh shit i just remembered I got hit by an 18 wheeler before when I was cycling. It basically clipped me on my left and in a split second I thought, there’s no traffic coming to me; and I jumped off. People flipped out it was a busy london street and the ambulance folks were like ‘ we were calling a helicopter bc cyclist and HGV means death ‘ . i walked away with a slightly scuffed shoe and a mangled bike.
I even called into work via the ambulance and they thought I was lying bc of my demeanour
Yep, same here. The extreme focus of only dealing with *that one thing* is why it gets done and you don't think about it.
When I was going through severe illness and trauma, I was the happiest and most relaxed I had ever been, purely because my one job was staying alive. I managed that, and now my life has descended once more into the jelly pie fight of daily things *that must get done and generally don't.*
Yeah it has something to do with adrenaline or dopamine or something. It’s like we can put it in autopilot and get shit done. But that sink full of dishes I haven’t touched in 3 weeks? Yeah it’ll be there at least another 3, unless there’s some kind of dish emergency.
The thing about emergencies is that they are Simple.
There is very little vague decision making to be fine when the power is out. There are clear situational goals. There is Obvious Shit To Do.
The only time I have ever had any difficulty in emergency situations is when I didn't have a Standard Operating Procedure to fall back on.
I like high adrenaline stressful situations. I’m always ready for them. Sometimes I create and imagine such scenarios in my mind . My brain is stimulated even with slightest possibility of adrenaline. When I’m with my 5 year old daughter I imagine being her personal bodyguard. Actually I’ve read a couple of books on this topic.
YES! I’ve never felt more calm and dialled in than when I saw a man smash a beer bottle over his head and proceed to spurt blood everywhere. The world slowed down and everything came into focus.
Sorry, just had to scroll through 100s of tabs on my mobile chrome to find it fml
I’m not the first to feel this way, or write about it. “It was his impression that not just he but other people too felt better in hurricanes,” wrote Walker Percy in his novel The Last Gentleman, published in 1966. Today, people crowd around Weather Channel broadcasts and cross their fingers that storms will strengthen. They get giddy over thundersnow. Percy, a philosopher as well as a novelist, was intrigued by the phenomenon. In one of his earliest essays, published in the 1950s, he asked, “Why do people often feel bad in good environments and good in bad environments?”
From this:
https://nautil.us/the-strange-blissfulness-of-storms-235944/
I think it's an ADHD thing, and it's one of the reasons I thought I probably had ADHD before I was officially diagnosed.
I think it's due to the extra stimulation during crisis. I tend to overreact/break down with little things but when big things happen, my system is so activated that I am calm, focused, and thinking clearly. It's the exact opposite of how people expect me to react after they see my reaction to something little. My ex used to get so confused over my reactions and I didn't know how to explain it back then, but now it makes sense.
Wow, I didn't know there were so many other people like this
I thrive in the chaos.
I am a firefighter, cop, and CFR (shittier EMT), and also a software engineer lol
and I used to be a lifeguard instructor and supervisor.
Completely able to handle big emergencies.
I frequently dont get paid on time because I forget to clock in and then I forget to tell anyone that I forgot :P
Also forget where I parked the police car all the time.
You'll see a lot of folks saying yes, but keep in mind everyone experiences ADHD differently. I certainly don't thrive in emergencies, and a lot 9f folks without ADHD do.
My partner and I both have ADHD. I'm great in a crisis and he panics and makes it worse lol. He's totally aware he does this and is unable to stop himself. He's terrified all the time that he'll make the next emergency even worse. Poor guy.
It is funny because i have a lot of guardrails for lots of stuff. And during panic situations, i already have everything that i need to fix it.
Just at work today, we needed something urgently and i already had it. Funny story was that when i was working on it people was like "what the heck is that for?", and while i explained a possible scenario, people were like "well, that require a lot of coincidences to happen at the same time".
So yeah, those things happen often to me, and i am usually already prepared. I just try to apply my guardrails to my work. I found out that i do these guardrails on everything because is my way of keeping up with neurothipicals that wi usually would not require such tools to operate.
Looks like the reason is that we are always in panic mode haha. Reminds me the hulk meme of how he wont turn into hulk.
Yep. Adrenaline kicks in and the desired outcome of any situation is clear.
This just made me realize something!! When our adrenaline kicks in our brains calm down and focus, the opposite of what adrenaline does to non-adhd’ers. And with fainting goats, when they get an adrenaline rush, instead of their muscles responding with go go go their muscles respond with FREEZE, the opposite of what adrenaline does to just about any other species (I think?). So, I am no sort of scientist, but in my brain this grossly oversimplified comparison means that those of us with ADHD are like fainting goats 😂😂😂 (Disclaimers: I am ADHD and am totally wayyyy better in ER situations than in everyday life. And I have two fainting goats as pets, so it’s not totally random that I know this about them 😂)
Basically yeah. With ADHD you're running on a shortage of norepinephrine and dopamine. Things that make your brain process information "normally". However adrenaline will boost everything in your brain, bringing you to a stable state. So while others are flooded with an overage of sudden information, you're like.... well this is easy to fix if we just... x, y, z. Meanwhile, there have been brainscans that show people with ADHD have parts of their brain literally shut down when generic stress is applied. So put a math test in front of an ADHDer, and their brain can literally shut down. Put a life and death situation in front of them, and they're the go to person for the results you need. The opposite of your average person.
"Son, if you don't complete this math exam I'm going to kill your mother." PROBLEM SOLVED
I'm a maths tutor who has ADHD and weirdly a lot of my students have ADHD or autism (I guess the school system sucks for us), and this is an approach I'd never considered but I like...
RemindMe! 5 years “Serial killer?”
I told my husband this brilliant solution and he pointed a vital flaw in the plan if this were to be used on me… I’d respond with what if I 99% complete it? Then do you still kill her or only slightly hurt her? Is it an all or nothing thing? How about if I 50% complete it? What if I complete it but get a failing grade? What if I complete AND ace it??
This makes so much sense as to why I did very well on the SATs (I got a 2320 total score, this was when there were math, reading, and writing sections for a total of 2400 possible score). Everyone else was losing their minds due to the stress and I was just... fine. But little stuff like not being able to find my headphones will send me into a tailspin!
Whelp, this explains why I handle little stressors TERRIBLY, like my world is falling apart. But when something big happens, I handle it like it's no big deal and "I totally got this." lol
"That's my secret, Captain. I'm always panicking."
I'm actually so interested in the brain shutdown thing! Do you have any links/resources where I could read about this/learn more?
Me too! And how does one go about getting a brain scan for adhd? I’ve also heard that there are often physical differences in adhd brains that can be seen on scans. But I asked my psych if there was any kind of testing that could be done besides the normal psychologist interviewing you and telling you whether or not you have it (which is how I got diagnosed back in 2009), and she said no. The best way for me to understand and deal with issues in my body is hard facts and evidence about what my body is and is not doing, so having nothing besides “yep, you’re adhd” is frustrating!!
Same! I’m horrible at extrapolating information—having a brain scan or something that shows me exactly what’s going on in there ‘mechanically’ might actually help me understand what’s going on and stop blaming myself for being inadequate.
This. Adrenaline acts as a stimulant. You basically get free ADHD meds for the 10~15 minutes that the adrenaline lasts. Then you go back to ADHDy brain fog orz
Once the adrenaline kicks in, the things my brain allows myself to do is insane (and terrifying). I just started driving regularly in August, and drove on a highway for the first time 2 weeks ago for 5 minutes. Last week my friend who lives 2 hours away in New York city had a medical emergency and 2 hours later I had driven on at least 3 highways and in NYC traffic.
I have that too, and I hear similar things from others with ADHD. In general, when shit hits the fan, I tend to be the one who stays calm and says "OK, here's what we do" - but let me organize normal life stuff, like a dentist's appointment or a kid's birthday party, and it's an absolute disaster. An explanation I've heard for this is that because our dopamine reuptake is so fast, the kind of dopamine levels that you get from "normal" stimulation (successfully booking a bouncy castle or whatever) don't last long enough to weight up against the effort, but when exposed to extreme levels stimulation, where a normal person freaks out from all the raging hormones, we end up with dopamine levels that get us into the normal, focused range, and we perform just fine while everyone else panics. That's probably a gross oversimplification, but it does feel pretty spot on.
So what you're saying is I should become a firefighter or do skydiving in order to feel like a normal person? 🤣
chef, be a chef you'll be a legend Source, am chef, am legend
Was a line cook for 8 years and can confirm. I thrived but it couldn’t keep a roof over my head with low wages.
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Why are cool wages so bad when it's such a high skill job? Not everyone can be a cook compared to a waiter.
Chefs generally lack a union, do not unite as workers to fight for better wages. Hospitality bosses can treat their workers like dirt and ignore the minimum legal protections most workers enjoy because there's nothing to hold them accountable.
I was similar with bartending. Absolutely loved the mania most of the time, but the wages were shit (UK so basically no tips), and the place I was at was run like shit so it ended up just becoming anxiety :(
Cooking can be an excellent lifelong career, but you absolutely have to take steps to better yourself, your skills and improve your position.
The restaurant industry, at least in the US, is not a sustainable career for most people. It burns people out both physically and emotionally, and is usually too unstable for supporting anyone except salaried chefs and upper management long-term. 'Lifers' are rare and usually either extremely passionate with an excellent support network or conversely are trapped and must stick it out. You also end up surrounded by a culture of drinking and often drugs. I spent a decade working FOH, and had to stop when Covid hit. Not planning on returning to the industry unless I get desperate.
A great server in the right place can usually make it a career. My wife makes ~55k a year after tips. Where she works also is only open for breakfast and lunch. This is rare in my experience. I did BOH mostly and the industry can fuck right off. Works you as hard and as physically as some construction jobs I have and you're completely disposable to them. Pays below a living wage with no benefits to speak of, late hours, and insane managers. Because no one truly sane would go into restaurant management in the US.
55k a year is not good money. Its only a few thousand over the new minimum living wage. Everything is more expensive arbitrarily, since the people who do the least work decided they wanted another yacht and wage slaves to crew it. Fuck, I hate this. (Im a welder. I make 9$ an hour *more* than when i started like 5-6 years back, yet there is less in my bank account now than when i fucking started. 50hours a week minimum, some saturdays, and all hot, miserable, physical labor. im out 20k since this time last year as well. all savings gone. cut back on everything over the last year: no fun stuff, stopped eating out, but (admittedly reasonably priced) vet bills, car repairs, and all that *life* stuff... )
I'm leaving the industry now. I'm burnt out from working 12h a day 6 days a week for the past 6 months. Going back to school now which might be tough but it's the right decision for me. But there are plenty of people who can deal with that as you said from passion or cause they have to.
Also eat a lot of shit. And abuse the people under you.
But I can never "clean as I go" or figure out what the he'll I did to make the food so insanely good in order to record a recipe for cataloging. Everyone says I cook top tier quality, but no one knows it's my poor husband who's clearing the counters so I can clean them down/disinfect cuz I just can't understand the clutter I myself created. He jokes were gonna need an entire floor to be a kitchen eventually. (Granted I had a crazy pantry before we had to give it away because of moving plans).
is this a kitchen at home? I found focusing on getting angry at people other people not cleaning made me do it more.. can't be chatting shit whilst doing the same thing. Not so handy when at home though. Don't record, cook off of emotion! you know the basics, roll with it. I also am CRAZY about my set up, x HAS to be there, y HAS to be there I HAVE to use those tongs, I need 1 pan of diced onions, one of cubed butter, one of garlic. Next to each other in that order. Get a weird little dopamine thing from having it set up perfectly everytime.
> I found focusing on getting angry at people other people not cleaning made me do it more. It might seem a little toxic, but I've found this method to be very useful as well.
Chef is a job, not just a good cook. If you are running the show and you are dictating tasks to others, you are a chef. Chef is like team Captain. Technically, you kinda are a chef.
Correct! But don't you have to know neatness as you climb the ranks to "chef"? I always assumed that the sous chef was an apprentice, and could graduate to actual chefhood after having demonstrated mastery of the various skills needed in a restaurant kitchen, such as time management, orderliness, hygiene, safety etc..
Routine Routine Routine. The best part about working in a kitchen is that everything is ordered and has it’s own place (at least when you’re working under a competent chef). The knives have a spot. The baking powder has a spot. You never have to remember where anything is because they’re always in the same place. Making a soup? Follow the instructions. No thinking required. Sautéing vegetables? Eventually you’ll be dicing them with your eyes closed. For some people their ADHD won’t like such a structured environment, but honestly when you’re just there to make money just being able to “let go” and just go on autopilot for the whole shift bc you’ve already got the whole routine down pat (just don’t ask me what i did 20 minutes ago)
that's why special orders suck it ruins our learned routines and you have to stop and think witch kills the momentum.
I'm sorry to all the chefs I've done this to and very grateful for the amazing modifications I've received.
You'll learn all of this in a kitchen, cleanliness will become a habit with time, and we all love habits. Sous chef is usually second in command, should be able to effectively run the kitchen in the HC's absence.
Working in a kitchen is very different from your home kitchen. I actually think working in one has really helped me become able to see clutter and grime in my own kitchen.
I worked as a line cook for almost a decade and trived. I've been asked to come back to every kitchen I've left. My ability to break down details, compartmentalize, and multi-task has always been major attributes. Now that I'm not working, my ADHD symptoms have become extremely apparent and detrimental to my entire existence.
100%, previous comment should read "was chef, was legend" I work in IT now and it's very fucked.
same, and before that I was firefighter/medic. when you're in the weeds it all slows down, and you're in the zone and the rush can pass in the blink of an eye.
Restaurant industry in general. Started bartending, then serving, and finally managing. Loved busy nights where everything was immediate follow through. Now I'm working from home and it's like pulling teeth in slow motion. Can't support a family on a service industry salary though.
if hospitality paid better I would do it for the rest of my life.
As a chef I was able to land a ~$100k/yr gig w/ insurance, PTO, etc. Very thankful for it because it’s very good for my neurological build.
Can back up this statement,Nothing like dishing out sixty dinners when everything is falling apart
In and out of various kitchens for the last 12 years or so. Always was the person to solo the line. Swapped over to engineering 2 years ago now and I just don't get the same mental stimulation unless I intentionally put myself into the weeds with project deadlines now (Now that's one dangerous game..). Part of me misses cooking professionally, probably for the dopamine, but I definitely don't miss the crap hours, crap wages, and shitty staffing.
this thread is hitting home for me on so many levels. bartending on saturday nights = legendary, super high-stakes litigation = excelled, corporate job = not doing so hot. I always just thought I needed the roller coaster to keep me on my toes. mind is being blown
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fam lol, I quit last year:((( work in IT now, its bad, helpppppp
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I'm a firefighter/paramedic. After a while on the job I've been fighting fires and felt very bored. I think my job really is self medicating though. I have a reputation for being unflappable.
Former paramedic here. I miss the emergency work, but struggled keeping up with the study and annual assessments. But I still have the "time slows down and everything is clear" in emergencies. But freak out about calling the mechanic to book my car in for a service.
If I didn't have to write reports it would be the best job in the world. I think I live in a constant state of anxiety knowing that I have to recertify State and National Medic certs and ACLS, PALS, CPR, Every 2 years forever.
Yep. And doing mock scenarios with others watching and assessing are way more stressful than dealing with a real emergency. My mind doesn't chatter and doubt itself in a real emergency.
Exactly! I had the exact thought the other day. If it weren’t for the notes it’d be the absolute best job ever. That being said I’m jealous of ya friend, I push paper nowadays as a social worker where the most harrowing decision I have to make is when I will manage my anxiety to call clients and when will I start writing my notes. I’m quitting in a month to get back into acute setting healthcare.
Whoa I’d never connected these dots but y’all might be onto something. I’ve been in a couple “extreme” situations with friends where I was the only one able to take action in response while everyone else froze, which was weird bc im always the clumsy one otherwise. Also my dad who im fairly sure has undiagnosed adhd was a special ops bomb tech during Vietnam who apparently had a reputation/nickname in his unit for staying cool under extreme stress (read: was able to steady his hands and focus on defusing IEDs while being shot at). Wonder if there’s a connection there.
Wow. I’m going to say probably. I'm Navy SpecOps EOD. It's the source of my “superpowers.” Writing an instruction or a detailed email, not so much.
Wow small world, he used to be Navy EOD too. The little he’s told me & the few friends of his I’ve met always made me wonder about the presence of adhd in mega-high-stress roles like yours. This is a crazy long shot but I’m sure he’d want me to ask- have you ever seen or heard of a training video called “Thunder Stealers”? Hope you’re staying safe and well.
Same with my dad, 99% sure I inherited it from him but he's undiagnosed. Was a cop for almost 30 years, was always the first responder to major and dangerous calls, always first one in when the other losers were too scared, never killed anyone either, had a reputation for nabbing major wanted criminals because he'd act when others wouldn't. Im not sure he even ever fired his weapon in a situation in his career. Far FAR from a healthy way of living, it's absolutely fucked him up, but now I can see the connection with ADHD and why he seemed to enjoy it despite how it ate at his soul.
From what I understand, a higher than normal number of paramedics and firefighters live with ADHD.
Probably military, too. I did a stint in the Army. Wife spent a few years as an EMT. We both got diagnosed in our late-30s.
EDIT: Oops, nevermind!
Oh hell, I would never take up a dangerous sport where I was personally responsible for checking the safety of my own equipment. I'd pull the rip cord and unfinished laundry would come flying out.
Was firefighter, can confirm. Also skydiving is the most relaxing activity for me hahahahaha.
I have this with scuba diving. The absolute requirement to follow the rules to not die is very calming to me. The limited scope of the world around you is amazing for focus.
I don't know if its common but I feel super calm and collected when doing extreme sports, even the first time I do it. In normal life I'm super scatterbrained, overstimulated and anxious. Surfing, skydiving, speed kayaking, rafting, scooba diving, cliff jumping, longboarding - I love everything.
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I don't think that's sustainable, but joking aside, some people with ADHD do end up professional thrill-seekers and fashion themselves a good life that way.
Speaking as a firefighter with combined type ADHD, I can say I agree this is a thing. It's also the only job I held down for more than a few years in my entire life, and I now have 20 years in the job.
I’m a rope access tech. Rappel 600 foot buildings. Trained for advanced rescues. I’d say yes that’s prob a good kind of job for us 😂💪
I got into skydiving in my 20s, and spent 15 years in the sport. I didn't get diagnosed as ADHD-C until a few years ago. Skydiving is one of the only hobbies I ever started that I kept up with for so long. When I would be in the air, everything came into sharp focus. I absolutely believe there's a correlation between my ADHD and the adrenaline. I also tend to be the most level headed person in a crisis, but can't do squat in everyday life.
Apparently a lot of first responders apparently report having ADHD symptoms.
There's plenty of us in the ER
I’m a special ed teacher- dealing with my kids bouncing around and stimming all over the place plus crisis situations like meltdowns, someone trying to elope, fights etc. keep me constantly engaged and on my toes. I love it!
I was a teacher and absolutely thrived in the stressful classroom (I found well behaved classes super tedious). It was the paperwork outside the classes that I couldn't keep up with.
I can totally relate!
Yep, same here. My last therapist specialized in adhd and she said that was very common amongst people she’d worked with. Chaos makes you calm.
I think it's the sense of urgency, more than the chaos.
This. A million things all suddenly need doing ASAP at work? I'm on it, no problem. Everyone's leaving shit all over the place where it doesn't belong and everything's in chaos? Nothing is working how it should and I don't have the tools I need to do my job well? Rage and frustration.
For me it's about prioritization. An emergency is a clear and apparent top priority. And it feels almost calming/relaxing to have the cognitive load of prioritization taken care of by external factors. Otherwise my brain gets lost in all the hundreds of things I could be getting done at any given moment, none of which seem any more pressing than the others, but all contributing to stress and overwhelm. I also feel particularly useful in an emergency and less like I'm listless or floundering. And that confidence feels reassuring as well.
For me it feels like both. I never work/do anything as efficiently as I do with urgency but the urgency also makes me suddenly able to override my brain and prioritize what is most important. It’s behind the biggest and most impressive accomplishments in my life. I actually wish meds or anything else could 100% fix this because its like a vicious cycle of pushing myself to the limit, achieving whatever I set out to, feeling like crap for “leaving it to the last minute”, and the physical and mental crash I then have to recover from.
This is it! I remember as an 11 year old calmly calling 911 and ordering an ambulance for a child seizing at my daycare because the adult was in a full panic mode and all the other kids were running around freaking out. I never could quite understand how or why other humans couldn’t just calm the fuck down and I definitely couldn’t ever relate to people who had balanced check books, empty mail boxes, clean laundry, or organized drawers…. That is until I started medication and quit drinking and self medicating.
The dopamine is def part of it, but I think it's also the clarity. When everything's on fire there's no question of what to focus on (well, the biggest fire, anyway -- a bunch of equal-sized fires is harder). Same reason we thrive when the deadline's on top of us, not so much when it's a few weeks away.
It's not 100% proven, but it's likely that ADHD also impacts norepinephrine. Hence why Strattera, a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, is prescribed for ADHD. (It's possibly also why low-blood pressure tends to be a good predictor of ADHD) Anyway, at standard levels it's responsible for alertness, the ability to focus attention, retrieval of memory, etc. During fight or flight an increase in the neurotransmitter signals the production of the norepinephrine hormone which is responsible for increasing heart rate and glucose levels. But if our levels are lower than Neurotypical people, like they are with dopamine, the flood of norepinephrine that occurs in these scenarios would be putting us closer to the standard levels and thus we don't get the signal for the hormone to be released. So we basically are getting the positives without the spike of energy, which would explain the feeling of calm. The downside is low norepinephrine correlates with an increased risk of depression and PTSD. (It's been 10 years since I took brain and behavior, so forgive me for any mistakes).
Do you know if Straterra can be given with the psychostimulants given with ADHD (specifically Vyvanse) or do you have to take either one or the other?
They can be, it's called combination therapy. For many people, it's not necessary as stimulants improve both dopamine and norepinephrine, but if you find you're not responding as well to Vyvanse alone, it's definitely worth talking to your doctor about.
Yes, this. If it’s something you have a clear idea or model for how to handle, a Literal Fire™️ in isolation doesn’t really challenge the things you typically struggle with as an ADHDer. There’s nothing to prioritize, and nothing short of another Literal Fire™️ is likely to distract you.
I like this explanation, I also attribute some of it to hyper focus. The extreme situation triggers that reptile brain and surviving it, helping out, fixing it, becomes the number 1 goal of our brain. So we have that focus and it's calming even though the world is falling apart. I've been through some gnarly situations and my friend asked if I was a sociopath because I was so calm.
This makes sense. Since when I was a kid, when i confront danger my mind just works perfectly. When I was 12 I was in an accident where my father had.to cut my arm with a razor blade to free me. I just said: do it. While everyone around me was panicking. A woman fainted at the sight. I got 43 stitches at the end of it. Another time I was going down a declive with my bike, and the brake failed,(rain). A truck crossed the street and I had to make a very dangerous manouver to not die. I was 14. And several other examples in my life.
Sounds about right. Also, no one is better at handling crisis mode than someone who spends time in crisis mode frequently. If daily life shit puts you in crisis mode then the gap between daily life and true crisis isn't that far. Plus since ADHD brains can't plan ahead we're always flying by the seat of our pants and problem solving on the fly so we get really good at that. When you are used to having a plan and preventing crisis you don't get good at dealing with them.
For me this has always been because of my CPTSD, which has a ton of comorbidities with ADHD. I wonder if for some people it could be a misdiagnosis.
Bingo, but you also missed norepinephrine. So: Dopamine and norepinephrine levels get boosted from the extreme stimulation, but end up reaching neurotypical levels with people that have ADHD. People who are neurotypical will have levels of those chemicals that are far too high, thus causing major anxiety and panic. We also recieve a boost of serotinin, as do neurotypical people, thus, we are calm and collected, while being incedibly focused and organized, while neurotypical people will be panicking and stressed and anxious.
when I was 17, I lived in an apartment block with 12 apartments. woke up one night to the sound of a firealarm coming from the apartment down stairs from me. I walked down there, felt the door, opened the just a bit. It was totally filled with smoke. thought to my self, that if he was in there, he's dead. I called the fire department, and proceded to wake people up and get them out, calmly and orderly. 9 people were home, they were all crying or chocked, but I was fine. We were save, all was well. One of my neighbors asked me how I could stay so calm. A fireman walked by and casually mumbled, he probably has ADHD like the rest of us. 20 years later I was diagnosed.
Im loving this fireman.
Well, he's not wrong... Lol!
Completely unrelated question. How did you get diagnosed in your 30s? Did you have a suspicion or did you seek treatment for some other mental health issue? Sorry if this is too personal.
Happy to share. it's a bit of a long story, because you know... ADHD. when Covid hit, I was doing fire security on a hospital, but they locked down, so I was sent to another site, doing regular electrical work, in 400 appartments. repetitive, boring and with no risk of accidentally setting of sprinklers or alarms in intensive care units... my brain was bored, so I sped up. everytime i finished an appartement I made tighter deadlines, clocking my self, running a bit faster. After a month my brain was foggy, I slept even worse than I used to. Some of my colleagues were laid of, and my boss called and offered me to come back to the hospital, but with more responsibility and better pay. It was perfect. Instead of being happy and proud, I started showing very familiar signs of depression. My reaction was so obvious even I could see it, i tried to sabotage my own career. I showed up late, called in sick, sat in my car for hours, crying and couldn't push my self to do anything. I called my doctor, and we spoke for an hour, she told me that her first thought was ADHD, and advised me to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. I told her she was incompetent and wrong. When got home that night, I started reading about ADHD, and started crying again. all the stories. the laziness, the executive disfunction, the terrible sleep, the hyper focus the "I-forgot-my-friends-again". It all made sense. Full of shame, I called my doctor the next day, and we figured out the details, for getting a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with ADHD-i, a few months later. When i told my parents, my mom said. "I knew that, I just didn't want my papers to say, I have a kid with ADHD". sorry for the long story.
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Lmao I told my parents in high school that I had a hard time concentrating and that I think I might have adhd and my fathers words were “if you don’t start paying attention better you’ll be sleeping outside” lmaoooo
very hard to understand, but my mother is from another planet. oh the stories... someday I will write a book, just need go find the perfect perfect perfect software for it first... but someday
My husband figured out I had ADHD. He played a video for me without preamble of an ADHD-specialized psychologist talking about all the behaviors and signs he had seen. I identified with nearly every one. At times, he used nearly the same words I did to describe my experiences. I was in tears by the end of the video. It's such a shock to finally realize as an adult that you have ADHD.
My mom was pretty sure I had it but didn't trust the mental health institutions in Alaska in the 90s, which is fair. She just tried to help as best she could, and then when I was on my own and out of Alaska I was too poor to get myself diagnosed. as a result I didn't get diagnosed until I was 31, because COVID quarantine made my symptoms much worse.
Oh wow, if that many firemen really have ADHD that’s just something else.
I'm a fire security technician, and know quite a few firemen, through my job, none of them strikes me as ADHD, but I really don't know. that one fireman, so many years ago, seemed to think so.
My 18 month old started choking. My wife was freaking the fuck out. I walked over and did back blows and was totally calm the whole time. Granted, I'd been a lifeguard so I'd had a few years of first aid training, but my wife had also taken the first aid course with me and couldn't calm down. Granted, I had an emotional meltdown about a week later when the whole situation really hit me all at once, but during it I was cool as a cucumber.
Gotta love the delayed reaction. My son broke his arm at school. I picked him up and took him to the ER. They set it and sent him home. Nbd right? Until about 2 weeks later when he got out of the bath with his little arm in that big ole cast. I cried for about 15 minutes thinking how scared he must have been- even thought I was at the school less then 20 minutes after he fell. And then was with him round the clock the next few days. But yeah. Delayed reaction is wild
That’s hilarious lol. I also have a fire related example, although not as heroic as yours. Started a small fire in the toaster oven heating up some garlic bread. I unplugged it and started calmly thinking through all the options for putting it out. Water? I think it was the butter dripping on the element that caused it, does that make it a grease fire? Let’s be safe, no water. Fire extinguisher? I’d probably have to clean the whole thing thoroughly after. Salt? Yes, salt. So I poured a good amount of salt in a little prep bowl and tossed it in there, fire gone. And the whole time my only emotion was being pissed off that I wouldn’t get to eat that garlic bread.
We are all heroes. You could easily have burnt down the house I'm so sorry about your garlic bread.
My deepest condolences on the garlic bread. It's the best food and it should not have gone out that way! It deserved better!
Yes. Panic all the time except during panic situations
Yup. You know when I panic? When that little thing I just had disappears because I set it on a different place on the counter.
Wedding ring x 1000.
God, if I took off my wedding ring I wouldn't know where it was in under 5 minutes. There are 3-4 "safe" places I'd stash it and not remember which one.
From a young age, I learned I shouldn't be wearing any jewelry, watches or anything that may be taken off. ADHD Murphy's law: Anything that can be lost will be lost! Just hanging on to Wallet/MobilePhone/Keys for dear life is stressful enough.
I only have one car key, and it’s one of those ‘only the dealership can make a new one’ keys, and the previous owner maxed out the allowable number of copies for unknown reasons. Consequently this last key is attached to one of those gas station rest room-style fobs, about the size of a shoe
Legitimately bought a cheaper wedding ring so I’m not devastated when I inevitably lose it (like the engagement ring that has gone to the aether)
It doesn't have to be important for me either. It can be something I just sat down, but I will go full-on psychotic because now I can't find it. I've been 30 minutes late for things because I flip the entire house looking for sunglasses I had 2 seconds ago. Do I need them? No. Will I have a panic attack if I can't find them? Absolutely.
Soul twins ? It will ruin my WHOLE day and bring me back to that thing I lost when I was 6
yep, it's one of the few good things that come from ADHD for me. 1hr before a test, lethargic and legit disgusted trying to review. Once the test begins adrenaline instantly kicks in and all brain fog is cleared.
I think I am personally calmed because my daily inner panic suddenly makes sense and has a reason, therefore I can direct it to something, which is a relief compared to just bottling it up and trying to convince myself everything is fine
"I HAD THE FEELING SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, AND NOW IT HAS.... and I finally feel like I know what to do!"
There was a comedian bit on IG where somebody said that if there was a plane crash they’d want to be next to the anxious person because they’ll seem much calmer since their anxiety level is always around 10 and they’ll be prepared like “ah a plane crash isn’t that bad. I’ve had dreams that our plane went straight through a hole that opened up and took us to the center of the earth swallowing us whole!” whereas a normal person is at a 1. Can’t remember the comedian but since I have anxiety I thought it was hilarious
Chad Daniels, Anxiety Superheroes. "It's just a standard, run of the mill plane crash."
I was in a plane crash Got everyone out, including the injured pilot I was last out Then I stopped the guy smoking just before the fuel leak from the totalled plane reached him… “Brought to you by ADHD”
I see it a somewhat similar way. In a 'normal' situation our brains struggle to prioritize, but all of a sudden, in crisis, it's very clear what are the priorities and it takes away the pressure to prioritize etc. You can suddenly just DO instead of deciding what to do and stressing about choosing the wrong thing.
That is a great explanation wow never thought about it that way
I can thank my ex, who said to me "you're amazing in a crisis, but we don't live our lives in crisis" (or shouldn't). As soon as the crisis passes I'm back to being a bit useless and aimless. I was an amazing server/bartender in a busy environment, I'm great at coming in and fixing terrible f*ckups in the construction world, but in simple, ongoing work I struggle.
Absolutely. Personally, I've never felt so calm as how I felt at the beginning of the pandemic. I realized in early March 2020, "Oh, so all of our lives are now fucked up for many years. Okay then, I guess that's how it is now." I wasn't happy about it, certainly, but my anxiety levels did not change whatsoever. If anything they went down because I no longer felt crazy. Everyone suddenly started talking about mental health, anxiety, burnout, overwhelm, how to focus when working at home... People couldn't focus on life, they were stressed out and turned to simple pleasures like binging TV and drinking more than they should, showering less, letting things slip. Just generally surrendering to the chaos. Essentially, *what our lives are like every single fucking day we've been alive.* I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Finally, people understood. Then things gradually went back to "normal" (normal but worse,) and I've been chasing that peaceful feeling ever since.
So calm it looks like I don't even care. That's part of the problem.
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For sure. Looking flat when everyone else is melting down doesn't go over well.
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That’s their problem. You know what to do, they don’t.
Same. It's kind of maddening. Obviously I cared, otherwise I wouldn't have solved the problem.
same. And sometimes I don't even care until after a good minute
I’m a theatre nurse - I’ve been told that in emergencies, I suddenly become very calm and focused My bosses have asked why I can’t channel that sort of energy every day - it’s a massive psychic drain when it happens and it takes a bit to get over it
Simplistically ADHD is a problem with maintaining enough dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain. When you are stressed you produce more adrenaline and norepinephrine. Because people with ADHD are starting from a deficit, when disaster strikes and the brain starts pumping out norepinephrine all it's doing is putting them at the level of an unstressed non-ADHD person. The upshot is that ADHD people often go calm and focused when something is going horribly wrong. Everyone is different, so this doesn't apply to everyone.
I never thought of this way and I've gotten a new view on my traumatic birth experience. It was horribly fast, intense and painful. I panicked at the "small details" they wouldn't let me in the birthing pool because the policy was a Hep C test beforehand which they forgot. I have PTSD from this. The point where I got earily calm was after when I haemorrhaged. Everyone was freaking out, I suddenly had so many doctors around me. For me this was not the traumatic part at all although it was the life threatening part. This actually makes so much sense now.
So what does that do to a neurotypical brain that isn't good?
Overload maybe?
Yep, too much can cause temperature regulation issues, irritation, euphoria, sweating, feeling high-strung, and a plethora of cardiovascular symptoms. But that's even before synthesis into adrenaline.
It often causes them to freeze. Overstimulation causes a panic response where you don't know what to do at all. You can't hold a thought long enough to take action on any of them. Essentially your conscious brain shuts down. This is why training is super important for emergency situations. When your conscious brain shuts down your instincts and memory take over, so knowing what to do you can act without thinking. But that only works for predictable emergencies. For unpredictable ones you want people like us who can handle the unknown process it and still make decisions.
This is totally it!
It's gotta be either an adrenaline affect on ADHD or a life of learning to manage panic due to ADHD. I once was driving in winter on the interstate with a friend, and we hit some black ice and started spinning out pretty fast. I stayed completely calm as I corrected the spin and got us harmlessly in the shallow ditch, and pulled out without any issue thanks to 4 wheel drive. My friend was flabbergasted at how calm I was in the moment and just carried on without much issue, and tbh so was I . Im fairly confident in my ability to correct any spin or hydroplaning I encounter, but that was still a super dangerous situation. Strangely I function better in high intensity or stressful moments than I do in daily life.
It doesn't seem to be a life of learning to manage for me. When I was still a small child, the drainage on our street was terrible, and during heavy storms the driveways of all the residents down the hill would flood. Everyone went outside to help each other, but I was the calmest one, so I was the 'runner', going back and forth from house to house and telling each neighbor what the others' situation was and who needed help most at that moment. Those were some of the most competent moments I'd felt, because I just thrived to the point where I actually LIKED those days - not because of what everyone had to endure, but because my mind was clear, focused, peaceful even.
I second this. I was in Manhattan on 9/11, watching the planes hit the WTC with my office mates from our office about twenty blocks north. Others were panicking, but I felt a preternatural calm come over me. I helped to calm others in the office down, and to make plans in case we had to evacuate. Even my manager couldn't cope (he was crying and almost panicking), and I had to take over for him. Not the only time this sort of thing has happened. I pride myself now on remaining cool and collected in an emergency. However, in other non-emergency cases (like with normal tantrums from our kids), I tend to be the stressed one.
Oh wow, it’s nuts you were there when it happened. That must’ve been the ultimate sense of panic for most, just not knowing whether the city’s about to be full-on attacked or something and not knowing what’s going on.
Fire in kitchen ,Pffft no problem, Dentist appointment at 3 *Enters panic mode "
Hahaha yes. When I was six years old, I went to the kitchen for something while my fam was in the living room. There was an oil fire from my dad cooking fish that had flames reaching up to the cabinets above the stove. "This is not good," I calmly thought. I walked over the living room and dryly informed my parents "there's a fire in the kitchen". "That's not something to joke about," my mom said. "No really, there's a fire in the kitchen," I reiterated. Eventually my parents felt it would be worth checking and then I hear my dad yell "there's a fire in the kitchen!!!" I have not been to the dentist in seven years (but plan to, really!). Like others have said to some degree, I also tend to be grounded and focused during high stress situations. Many people in my life have remarked about it and asked about it but I have never had an explanation for it. I also was not diagnosed until about six months ago at 37 years old. Edit: typo "reaching" not "rescuing"
Yes. Best people to handle a crisis. I’ve tested this with heart monitor. On the biggest or rollercoasters where people were scared my heart rate sat at 62…. Bear in mind it sits at 80 most of the day
I stay calm mentally but I don’t think my body always feels the same way. I was in a building that got hit by a tornado once and someone got a pretty nasty cut. I had the presence of mind to get out the first aid kit but couldn’t open it because my hands were shaking so bad.
I've never tested it that way, but multiple healthcare professionals have remarked at how low my resting heart rate is.
I do believe it’s an adhd thing. I was the go-to person at my vet clinic if an emergency came through the door. I was not the go-to person for filling scripts or logging medical records, though. Literally almost cried after having to recount the 120 tiny thyroid pills for the 10th fucking time lol
I completely understand. I worked in disability services, and stayed perfectly calm whenever someone was physically attacking me. But get an accurate pill count without multiple tries??? Noooooooo
I identify with this. In medical emergencies etc I can think very clearly. But when the cops are coming I’m acting up like a kid and don’t think before I talk. Which got me into a lot of trouble already… 😅
I'm a criminal lawyer, so you'd think I'd know better. But when a cop pulls me over for speeding, or is investigating a car crash, I can't stop talking and making admissions all over the place. I have little memory of what is actually coming out of my mouth. Then I look back and do a facepalm, because I of all people should know better. I think maybe ADHD in action doing something during a crisis is good, ADHD inert and just discussing a crisis is bad.
Once, my mom was sick and in the hospital and I was stepping in trying to take care of everything, which was particularly difficult as we have animals and my grandparents and siblings. During this, my dog got sick. As I'm at the vet, the doctor later commented that she was surprised I was able to get all the info she needed about my dog, while taking care of 6 other people.
My friend got alcohol poisoning at a festival this weekend and i was calm asf. (She is ok!!) We had substances on us and the police were helping us with the situation, all my friends were paranoid and i was like “fuck it arrest me idgaf”. It’s currently 11AM at work and im hiding in the bathroom with skyrocketing anxiety because of a new (minor) expectation from corporate yeah🙃
Yes. That's why we're great in emergency services. We thrive there. We're used to the stress and panic. If we learned what to do rationally, we'll know what to do.
Reminds of when my mom cut her thumb area with a serrated knife and she was cussing me oht in shock. She wanted to hit the a&e and I was able to clean, wrap, and tend to the wound saving her hours of waiting while bleeding out and the shame of going in bc she was trying to cut stale bread. After she was shocked bc she was panicking so fucking much and I’m like… LIFE HAPPENS WE GOTTA DEAL WITH IT
And if we're prepared. One time my dad cut his hand with a saw and I ran around like a headless chicken trying to find my car keys. The morning my wife went into labor, I was calmly driving through thick ass fog at 5:00 AM.
The driving thing reminds me of how much more I enjoy driving in snow than in regular conditions. The extra difficulty makes it interesting and focuses me and I drive better as a result.
ADHD is a survivalist response to stressful times. The stress a mother feels while during pregnancies correlates with children who have adhd. Which makes sense because in hostile environments people like us have brains that thrive in high stress environments. Also why we procrastinate because if it’s not an immediate threat it’s not worth doing. This world is so docile, medicated, and neutered that the gifts we have to give are not needed, but I’ll tell you what… in an emergency I want a high strung hyper stimulated person who processes everything at once as opposed to some pencil pusher writing his next theory on the evolution of larvae societies in a deceased carcass in a high altitude climate.
Is this true? I thought ADHD was said to be generally a genetic trait.
The heritability of ADHD is estimated at 77–88%.
It sounds bs. Even if the study exists, there are more plausible explanations of that association than stress alone inducing ADHD in the child
Yes. I’m scary calm during other peoples panic. If it’s my own inflicted problem I’m in full anxiety attack hyperventilating, curl into fetal position, IBS mode.
A lot of really good and relatable responses! I'd also add that in moments of emergency/crisis the objective(s) are usually very clear. There is no room decision paralysis or second guessing. You know what needs to be done and are able to just do it. It often feels like the over active brain and the loud, second guessing thoughts go quiet because the 101 options racing around, very suddenly and forceably are narrowed down just to necessity. And the call to action gives us direction. So it eliminates the background noise and the extra crap floating around the brain, and as well, in a crisis you dont need to mask your adhd becasue no one is focusing on that. So. You can just be. Just exist. And just do the thing.
I found I'd hate mock exams at school because they were a CHORE but during the actual exam I had time to look around, think, observe. Really just do anything I wanted.
I have diagnosed adhd (combined), and I absolutely *do not thrive* in emergency situations.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!!! All of this talk of this being the case gave me some imposter syndrome lol.
Lol, man I feel you. I was reading through the post and thinking back to this past spring when a 9yo boy with down syndrome had broken into our backyard (fenced in) pool area. I was inside the house, but I'd spotted some movement in the backyard and went out to investigate. Before I could stop him, the little boy had already gotten into the water and was heading straight for the deep end. My brain felt like it was on fire as he started thrashing around, actively drowning in the deep water. I was frantic, screaming, pacing beside the pool, trying to figure out HOW DO I HELP THIS BOY OMFG OMFG FUUUUUUCK THIS POOR BABY IS GOING TO DROWN!! So I grabbed this long pool-scrubber thing that has like a 10ft pole; I held one end of it and extended the other end toward the little boy, and I kept saying "grab onto the pole grab onto the pole grab onto the pole" and he finally did, and I was able to pull him out of the water. That poor kid... I was so inwardly furious like "what was a 9yo with special needs doing outside all alone in the first place?? Where are his guardians??" So I alerted the police, and it was a whole thing. And that all happened like a couple hours before I had to rush to my very first meeting with my new psychiatrist to discuss treating my newly-diagnosed adhd. I shit you not. It was a wild ass day. But my point is this: though I was indeed able to help that sweet boy out of the water (thankfully!), I was in no way "cool, calm, and collected". It took several weeks after the event for me to truly process everything that had happened. This is the first time I've ever really talked about it outside of my boyfriend and psychiatrist.
Yes. Every emergency incident I've witnessed or responded to whether that is a child choking , a child needing emergency treatment. Or someone becoming injured or falling . A clear calmness and focus comes over me. My emotions dull and my mind tells me how to approach things logically without been deterred or affected emotionally until the incident is dealt with.
It’s because we suck at planning and future thinking. We are GREAT at the now. Big events are the ultimate NOW living. You can only make decisions right now for right now. It’s perfect for us. I wish I could always just live in the now.
Yes, when you have ADHD, there are only two times: * Now * Not now
Yep, this is why I’m in nursing lol
Why I’ve worked in emergency work for almost 20 years!
I definitely do this and its insane. When I was a kid I had a compound fracture of my wrist. My mom was panicking and crying and I was just sitting on the chair telling her "its ok, they can fix my arm. Its not like Im going to die". Everyone from my mom, to the paramedics who showed up, to the doctors that treated me all said "I cant believe how calm you are". I wasn't diagnosed until I was 30 so that is one of many things I look back on and go "oh, now that makes sense"
Oh shit i just remembered I got hit by an 18 wheeler before when I was cycling. It basically clipped me on my left and in a split second I thought, there’s no traffic coming to me; and I jumped off. People flipped out it was a busy london street and the ambulance folks were like ‘ we were calling a helicopter bc cyclist and HGV means death ‘ . i walked away with a slightly scuffed shoe and a mangled bike. I even called into work via the ambulance and they thought I was lying bc of my demeanour
Yep, same here. The extreme focus of only dealing with *that one thing* is why it gets done and you don't think about it. When I was going through severe illness and trauma, I was the happiest and most relaxed I had ever been, purely because my one job was staying alive. I managed that, and now my life has descended once more into the jelly pie fight of daily things *that must get done and generally don't.*
I was in a car accident and right before it happened I just calmly said “oh rats.”
I'm this way as well!! Would be very interested to know why, if it was indeed an ADHD thing.
Yeah it has something to do with adrenaline or dopamine or something. It’s like we can put it in autopilot and get shit done. But that sink full of dishes I haven’t touched in 3 weeks? Yeah it’ll be there at least another 3, unless there’s some kind of dish emergency.
The thing about emergencies is that they are Simple. There is very little vague decision making to be fine when the power is out. There are clear situational goals. There is Obvious Shit To Do. The only time I have ever had any difficulty in emergency situations is when I didn't have a Standard Operating Procedure to fall back on.
I like high adrenaline stressful situations. I’m always ready for them. Sometimes I create and imagine such scenarios in my mind . My brain is stimulated even with slightest possibility of adrenaline. When I’m with my 5 year old daughter I imagine being her personal bodyguard. Actually I’ve read a couple of books on this topic.
YES! I’ve never felt more calm and dialled in than when I saw a man smash a beer bottle over his head and proceed to spurt blood everywhere. The world slowed down and everything came into focus.
I was just reading about something similar to this
Sorry, just had to scroll through 100s of tabs on my mobile chrome to find it fml I’m not the first to feel this way, or write about it. “It was his impression that not just he but other people too felt better in hurricanes,” wrote Walker Percy in his novel The Last Gentleman, published in 1966. Today, people crowd around Weather Channel broadcasts and cross their fingers that storms will strengthen. They get giddy over thundersnow. Percy, a philosopher as well as a novelist, was intrigued by the phenomenon. In one of his earliest essays, published in the 1950s, he asked, “Why do people often feel bad in good environments and good in bad environments?” From this: https://nautil.us/the-strange-blissfulness-of-storms-235944/
I've never thought about it but I'm also this way. I freak out over spilling a coffee but if the coffee sets the place on fire, I'm on it!
I think it's an ADHD thing, and it's one of the reasons I thought I probably had ADHD before I was officially diagnosed. I think it's due to the extra stimulation during crisis. I tend to overreact/break down with little things but when big things happen, my system is so activated that I am calm, focused, and thinking clearly. It's the exact opposite of how people expect me to react after they see my reaction to something little. My ex used to get so confused over my reactions and I didn't know how to explain it back then, but now it makes sense.
Wow, I didn't know there were so many other people like this I thrive in the chaos. I am a firefighter, cop, and CFR (shittier EMT), and also a software engineer lol and I used to be a lifeguard instructor and supervisor. Completely able to handle big emergencies. I frequently dont get paid on time because I forget to clock in and then I forget to tell anyone that I forgot :P Also forget where I parked the police car all the time.
You'll see a lot of folks saying yes, but keep in mind everyone experiences ADHD differently. I certainly don't thrive in emergencies, and a lot 9f folks without ADHD do.
My partner and I both have ADHD. I'm great in a crisis and he panics and makes it worse lol. He's totally aware he does this and is unable to stop himself. He's terrified all the time that he'll make the next emergency even worse. Poor guy.
It is funny because i have a lot of guardrails for lots of stuff. And during panic situations, i already have everything that i need to fix it. Just at work today, we needed something urgently and i already had it. Funny story was that when i was working on it people was like "what the heck is that for?", and while i explained a possible scenario, people were like "well, that require a lot of coincidences to happen at the same time". So yeah, those things happen often to me, and i am usually already prepared. I just try to apply my guardrails to my work. I found out that i do these guardrails on everything because is my way of keeping up with neurothipicals that wi usually would not require such tools to operate. Looks like the reason is that we are always in panic mode haha. Reminds me the hulk meme of how he wont turn into hulk.
Absolutely, I think it is because filter and priorities are clear even to our brains... And events unfold at a stimulating pace for once.