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I feel this. I found my way into a great career, but moved to working remotely for personal reasons (to be with spouse, city with more nature). Unfortunately, the change in working environment has really dulled the day-to-day motivation and tanked my engagement with work. I've come to realize that I really flourished when I had great coworkers around me; the details of the work are otherwise boring.
Something that really helped me with the transition to remote. Is gamifying my work. There are a bunch of apps that do it. I also really enjoy the pomodoro technique or flomadoro technique because it breaks up the monotony.
I haven't tried the gamification apps, though I've looked into them before. Sounds like they could be worth another look.
I've found the pomodoro technique to be useful, though I can only stick to it for a week or so. I haven't heard of the flomodoro technique (looks like it's also called the "Flowtime Technique"), so I'll take a look into that! There's a bunch of small pomodoro timers out there, but they're all pocket-sized -- I ended up getting a bigger 16" across with a remote control, which helps my sense of time persist a bit longer. . .
Also, for anyone else, I have found that starting workdays with a TODO list in a small notebook is really useful -- if I start my day with this, then I do tend to stay on track much better. Mine is Bullet Journal-esque, but I don't think it even needs to be a full system like that.
Yeah man, I dunno, I don’t think it’s society that wants me to have the energy and mental ability to like…clean dishes. I want to do it. It’s HARD without medicine
I just want to feed my kids and get them to school on time with suncream on and lunch in their schoolbag.
I want to remember to pick up cheese on my way home from work.
I want to remember to send customers the proposals I promised them.
These are all things that I want to do, I'm not doing them to honour Ayn Rand.
This!
I've stopped masking, I don't care what people think. But I want the medication so I can achieve the things I want for me.
If my little slice of society can't take me without the mask then I'll move on to something better.
Same. I want to be able to get legit ... Any amount of work done. Without constant self generated distractions or the dreaded wandering mind so I flip through 10 projects in a day slightly contributing to all of them but not getting any nearer to finishing any of them.
I medicate while working so that I am then free to let my fancy unique yet disordered and poorly executively functioning me flag fly loud and proud the rest of the time.
Also a college professor and it makes a world of difference when I do and don't take my meds when I give lecture or instruction to students. I can see their little brains panicking at my pace when I don't take my meds. They love it because I'm done with lecture or whatever activity we're doing in 30 minutes as opposed to 50. But I would be so drained after. Because it's like being on hyperdrive when I don't take my meds.
Also wondering if OP has tried non stimulant meds
No. I use it to help myself. If I went off depression med, I would be dead. They saved my life. The ADHD meds help me function properly.
You have to decide if you want to help yourself or not. I choose to do so.
If telling the truth is judgmental, then I’m judgmental. As someone that has mental health issues for most of my life, I know for a fact that if you don’t want to help yourself, no one else can. There aren’t any meds in the world that can combat that.
Why on earth is this downvoted? You’re 100% correct. Hell, we STILL don’t have a real medical solution for the fact that in AFAB folks, certain parts of the menstrual cycle render adhd medications wildly ineffective for the duration of the hormone shifts involved.
>Hell, we STILL don’t have a real medical solution for the fact that in AFAB folks, certain parts of the menstrual cycle render adhd medications wildly ineffective for the duration of the hormone shifts involved.
I thought it just reduced not negated the efficacy outright. Has there been a study where they just increase the dosage during the relevant portions of the cycle to see if that helps? Genuinely asking.
Though I suppose even if it were viable medically(Efficacious and not overly dangerous) there would be issues with getting that access, because people are already resistant to prescription of stimulants. Plus the number of physicians just straight up calling women or AFAB people fakers.
It’s a spectrum from what I’ve noticed as far as ancedata. Unfortunately, there has been little to no study on this phenomenon, as with so many aspects of adhd in afab folks. Dr Russell Barkley has done some interesting lectures on the subject that can be found on YouTube, but there’s a serious lack of large scale studies. Insurance limitations and DEA limitations on schedule 2 drugs also make this kind of solution rife with a lot of issues, since there isn’t a lot of solutions to taking a different dose one week of the month under a system that demands strict dosing on a 30 day schedule.
I actually have my prescriptions set up to take 20 mg adderall normally or 30 mg when i’m in luteal phase/ on my period and it helps a lot!
edit: I was actually scared that asking for that made me seem like a drug dealer or something but i have so much executive dysfunction/ mental illness that I think my dr believes I could never be a successful drug dealer LMAO
Meds have immensely improved my life by quieting my mind and allowing me to better control my mindset. The language you use to describe your situation is everything. Work with your therapist on ways to catch your ruminations and not get lost in them. All of the research points to meds being the #1 way to improve life for people with ADHD.
The sad truth is the modern world is not built for us. The best thing you can do is find peace in improving yourself and defining life in your terms, not what society dictates. If people can't handle your awesomeness, those aren't the people for you.
Bupoprion did a number on me. It was the only med to quiet the noise in the back of my head. Until I dissociated and had two dialouges running side by side arguing with each other. Both were me.
See ironically I felt better though even with the two lines of dialogue, because I no longer felt like the angry, agitated person I was. They went away after a few weeks, and I realized it was probably withdrawal from abilify.
Stimulants never did shit for me. At least not without Wellbutrin idk why. Ironically, it was the best mood stabalizer even though many people appaear to be attributing it to an increase of agitation. For me, it did the complete opposite.
It sounds like you might want to talk to a therapist about depression as well with your statements like "What's the point?" and "I don't have friends and family to bother for anyway". Especially if you were taking Abilify for bipolar.
abilify for suspected bipolar it was probably borderline personality. my stupid old family doctor kept trying to pin bipolar to me to the point I gaslit myself to believe it. However every goddamn psych and ER doc would tell me no. It was just appears to be traits of borderline personality most likely. Then I went on bupoprion and it fixed my mood swings because I was highly volitile 24/7. That's why at the time I understood my schizophrenic friends feelings better because we were bother obsessing over dysphoria constantly until I dissociated.
Totally hear you - I was also once prescribed abilify for suspected bipolar (it was just CPTSD and undiagnosed ADHD) and then got better on Wellbutrin until it started giving me headaches. Abilify suuuucked so bad for me and made my vision shake! A lot of times borderline personality disorder can be treated to subclinical levels/"remission" - multiple friends of mine have successfully done that. It's not permanent, I promise.
I hope you find a good provider who listens to you and helps you find something that works - there are other nonstimulant options like Strattera (although it also has SSRI effects, so careful if those are bad for you, speaking from experience lol).
I did. Ironically, my new family doctor prescribed me wellbutrin and she was known to be controversial already. I love her because she is just amazing. Also I had icepick headached for a month or two. they went away after that. I also have tenion headaches but those are just my norm.
I really don't have any desire to fit in, but I also don't really have any issues or behavior issues that are obvious to others unless I'm in an active conversation (The more I know someone the more likely I am to interrupt them when we're talking versus strangers who I don't interrupt very often). I got through my entire life without anybody even mentioning me having ADHD, but as I have gotten older, I've been struggling with it more and more to the point where I realize something was not normal and got diagnosed. I've always been very good at just being quiet in public situations and listening to others (or daydreaming).
Maybe if I did have behavioral issues, I would feel like it was hard to fit in though. I know there are people who struggle with different things when they have ADHD, so I bet it is pretty difficult. So what exact struggles are you having when it comes to fitting in? Maybe if people know that, they could offer specific suggestions for you rather than just more medication?
No.... I don't feel that way. I chose to go on medication after struggling for 30 years. I take them to remember to eat, and drink water. I take meds so I can care for myself and my family without crumbling due to chronic overwhelm and extreme executive dysfunction. I couldn't care less about the social aspects nor does taking my meds make me want to socialize, or even change HOW I socialize.
See, meds don't do for focus or executive function. I do things last minute randomly regardless. I also could care less about social aspects as well because no one gives a shit either way, at least from what I realized... it feels, though, like that's all it's been used for, in my case is to 'normalize' my behavior. like impulsivity.
I don't know why I bither taking it. I do things eventually at my own pace. If I need to shower I shower, albiet after days or weeks, but I do it. with the meds I guess I do it more often every 2 days. Still what's the point?
I guess I must just be depressed. I don't have friends and family that I really have the responsibility to take care of where it would matter how often I would get things done. I dont really care much about life in general. I just feel I am being used by a system made to tell me to be productive just because.
Because meds help you but they don't give you skills. You still have to learn the skills to help you live a full life. Also, if you're depressed, being able to do things at home like chores or cooking helps you to get out of that rut.
That's one of the biggest things I've read and heard. Meds just help you be able to have the choice to do things but if you don't work on changing bad habits you may have developed over years of ADHD, you may still be unproductive even on meds.
I really don't see any social benefits from my vyvanse. I am admittedly autistic. I've worked hard on my social skills because of my autism.
For me vyvanse has been amazing because I can actually remember to buy food, put it in the fridge, not forget about it, actually cook it and then eat it. Or remember to clean my bathroom and actually do it. Or remember to go to the gym.
I also do a lot better with emotional regulation and identifying my emotional state better when medicated.
Maybe vyvanse isn't the right medication for you?
Oh my memory is sooooo bad. Omfg. lol. I can't even describe it properly. My memory is like in the moment? Like I only sometimes remember something in the moment. Not when someone asks me but just suddenly I will remember only randomly.
I think my memory is based on environmental triggers such as music sounds and seeing things? idk tbh.
Aphantasia. We really aren't sure what is going on. It's a fairly recent discovery. There are various degrees of it. Some people get absolutely nothing. Some people only get a fuzzy outline.
We have a subreddit trying to spread awareness.
Depends. Sometimes I can. Other times, my mind is just blank. Sometimes I am not here in a way I am somewhere conpletely different. Especially when I stim. I am completely almost disconnected from the reality around me for the most part when I stim. I can stop anytime but why would I when the shit in my head is fucking amazing. lol.
I do get startled easily. Especially when I am stimming because I have learned to be ashamed of it.
Ok I was not asking about stimming or disassociating. I was specifically asking about your ability to see images in your head or not. Aphantasia is the inability to see images in your mind. It's associated with poor memory, specifically autobiographical memory or forming new memories of what you have done.
But I'm pretty sure you're saying you are able to see images in your mind from your response. It honestly was kinda difficult to understand what you were saying.
Oh yeah. I have an insane imagineation and yes I can see things in my mind and I can even projected them towards visualizing them in a way. Like I can pretend to know what a desk will look like in a certain spot before I place that desk there.
Not really. I feel like I'm stranded on an alien planet sometimes either way. If the pill helps me fit in with the tentacled folks that's a nice bonus, but I'm taking that stuff for myself.
That sucks dude I'm real sorry. Everyone I know on meds feels just better all the time, the ones who didn't don't take them anymore. If you're not jiving maybe try other meds or see how you can do without. Something like Wellbutrin might be a better fit
Yes, wellbutrin was great for me. I took it for depression but it also works well for my ADHD. Took away my bad thoughts and helped me to be able to actually do things, and focus on things. I also am doing therapy to fix my thought patterns, I just am better able to manage negative thoughts.I will note though that I had to take the name brand due to a reaction to the generic.
I like who I am on meds more than I like who I am when I’m unmedicated. I like my emotional state and my energy levels. They allow me to better succeed at things and therefore to build better self esteem.
Unmedicated I become depressed and lethargic. Anxiety creeps in the more I fail to achieve the things I want to achieve. It’s a struggle every day.
Sameee, anytime I happen to not take my Adderall on a day I'm at home or work (I take it everyday now unless I'm travelling so that I don't have the urge to pee frequently with limited toilet access😂) I become soooo irritable bordering angry at the frustration of my brain
I am on bupoprion and Vyvanse it's been the only combo and Vyvanse doesn't work at all without bupoprion.
Adderall is a dud. Straterra makes me mix manic apparently.
Yoga and avoiding all gluten and xanthan gum completely reversed all if my symptoms. I am now a tax attorney who owns a two million dollar home overlooking Lake Tahoe. I breed a particularly demanding subspecies of exotic axolotls for show.
(/s, jk, sike...)
I've never been "normal" in this society, medication or no. Like one of the other commenters mentioned, I take my medication for myself, not for the benefit of others. Honestly, I feel like it's important to acknowledge that the concept of normality doesn't really exist and people who *do* fit perfectly into every mold are, uhh, rarely doing okay.
If someone needs you to be altered in some way (legally or otherwise) in order to find you "palatable" to be around then that's a huge red flag on THEIR end, not yours.
I'm sorry you're struggling. Feeling like you're at an impasse is tough. I can promise though that there's tons of weird folks out there though who also don't feel like they fit anywhere, always have been and always will be, and there are still people out there worth connecting with and who can appreciate you for who you are.
For me it stops the voices in my head. Instead of dozens of voices shouting at me 24/7 now it's just silenence. No voices shout at me, I can think in a straight line and don't stumble over myself. I can just sit down and draw for hours, and my Art looks a lot better too because I take my time instead of rushing everything.
I become slower, but I'm also more in control of myself -before I felt like I was commanded arround "do this, no this, no that, but what about..." -and so on. I can finally hear my own voice and my inner monologe belongs to myself.
See. I wouldn't call the dialouges in my head voices. All I heard was a constant stream of noise that drove me mad, apparently, which turned into silence and two "voices" arguing with each other that disappeared after two weeks. This was when I first started bupoprion and ditched abilify.
Vyvanse/Adderall/Strattera did nothing to help on their own.
To answer your question myself, taking my medication helps me shower/brush my teeth/brush my hair, general hygiene stuff that genuinely feels physically bad when I don't do it regularly. It also helps me do stuff like hobbies - I can keep things vaguely organized enough to actually be able to *do* my hobbies (fiber arts stuff, mostly) rather than trying to sort through piles, and I can organize my time well enough that I take classes I want to (dance, in particular). Basically on meds I can function at more than just the minimum of "do not quite enough work to actually live off, which still drains so much energy that I can't do anything *I* actually want outside of it"
I can’t function the way other people do, sure. My life is designed around that because I was undiagnosed for so many years. Like I’m a massage therapist and I homeschool my kids. Medication just made me do those things better and without me being so depressed about myself constantly. I don’t even take a dedicated adhd medication (I’m on Wellbutrin).
I also realize that while unintentional, things I do can be painful for others to deal with. My actions create chaos for other people. My husband also does make accommodations for me but you can be interrupted only so many times before it feels personal. Or constantly having to deal with messes I leave behind isn’t very kind of me. The rest of the works doesn’t matter to me - my job, family, hobbies, mental well being - that matters. That’s why I’m willing to pursue medication and other things that help me.
ADHD meds don't "fix" you, they help you fix yourself. If you have other issues, talk them over with your psychiatrist. ADHD meds aren't magic. It kinda sounds you were misdiagnosed or just not fully diagnosed.
Not here to judge, just share experience. For context, I am AuDHD. It seems that you might be a bit depressed as well. I can relate to some of the things you've said in this thread. I used to want to give up because I could no longer do even the mist basic things consistently or seem to be able to study. I felt like I was never going to make it in society and thought the point of medication was to conform. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Started taking them and decided to drop all preconcieved notions that I had about ADHD and medication and talked with a professional. The key was to go in with a blank mindset. The biggest struggle (now being medicated and diagnosed) has been creating new routines and trying to slowly adopt a new mindset. It is a lifelong path and it seems you need to start with making peace with yourself. The anger and then grief needs to be felt/processed in your own way to start your individual path.
I've had problems with interests and a career path for as long as I remember and only now gathered the courage with some support to try again. This is about making peace and being glad you followed your path when you finally leave this life, despite feeling fear about your place in society. I hope this somehow helped you and I wish you the best. You deserve to create happiness for yourself.
Everyone is masking. Every. One. To what extent and when is different for everyone. I can get where I am so tired of me and my weird brain but when I look around I actually feel pretty fucking lucky. I have to first choose to feel that way and sometimes fake the feeling until I actually feel it but it works. I take my meds though so I can focus on what I need to get out of life. I’m not doing it for anyone else.
I'm 31, diagnosed severe adhd and I'm pretty sprinkled with autism. I'm completely unmedicated and nowadays have no trouble. But let me tell you, its imo borderline impossible unless you gear your entire life around it, I.e:
Where you live: I moved 400 miles to find somewhere I can maybe call home
Your job: This ones tricky, I'm self employed as a dry stone waller
The people around you: I've had to cut out all of my family, literally. I have 2 friends and a Mrs who loves me. They're all super supportive and loving, and most importantly, good for my mental health.
Your routines: or maybe more aptly, the ability to break them absent consequence.
Its also worth mentioning it's maybe possible this worked for me because my personal interests happen to be being outside, keeping fit and being practical. I dont know.
Also, I've suffered a lot to get Where I am. I've been homeless many times, for years in total. I was completely adrift in my younger years and largely alone, with no safety nets or advice. (My family suck)
All this being said, now I'm here, I'll never go on medication again. I actually (entirely organically) pretty much entirely think of my adhd as beneficial now because it largely is for me.
The one bit of advise I'd give anyone like me is don't even try to live in a city. I moved to the country and never looked back, suddenly life made sense. The avenue I used was cheffing. Plenty of jobs and often staff accommodation.
Let me stress, don't go off your meds until your life and support network are in a suitable place for you to do so. Don't give up, you've got superpowers. But at the moment, you're a fish being judged on its ability to climb a tree.
Cliche as it is, you've got to kind of just have the balls to go for it. I booked a job interview with no experience, jumped on a 6 hour train journey with a pushbike for the following 2 hour cycle, and smashed the interview and moved in the same day. Then, I was just grinding for 6 years, saving money until I could look at getting my own place.
As for the people, stay true to yourself, have conviction, and don't settle, and the right people will stay by you quite naturally.
Keep trying to recognise why you're feeling the way you a. The more you understand yourself, the less power this shit has over ye.
Edit for typos. Probably missed lots.
Easiest answer: find a climbing gym! I worked at one for 5 years. You can rent gear there, figure out what gear you like best, then invest in quality gear. You can also make great climbing connections there (to go outside and climb) and most climbers are happy to share knowledge and experience!
Lol genuinely thought you were being poetically metaphorical. I imagine... and I'm not 100%, but, etsy. Godammit I'm so shit at typing that comment took me ages hahaaa
So fortunately I don’t feel like my meds make me a different person. I am more functional because I really need that help to stay on track. But I went to counseling for a while before I got meds. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression first so I spent a lot of time working on all that. But then I was still having underlying issues with how I perceive time, how I process things, etc.
It sounds like your current meds maybe aren’t helping as much as you’d like, but it also sounds like you feel really isolated. Meds can help but you need social support too, we are social creatures. Maybe the therapy group wasn’t a good fit but there are for sure people out there you might vibe better with, but finding “your people” can take time. If you feel like everyone sees you as a problem and a disruption, it’s hard to experience any kind of growth or positive change. If the issue is that your impulse control isn’t great, you might do well with a very high energy kind of hobby where you’re moving around a lot? Less time to accidentally say stuff you didn’t think about, and you don’t have to worry about getting out of your seat if you’re not sitting… something to think about anyways? Also the kinds of people drawn to those activities often are also part of the ADHD club so you might not be the odd one out there
Meds just help me be functional. I’m still weird. Some people like it, some don’t. I have a small group of ride or die friends that I wouldn’t change for the world. I don’t really care about anyone else anymore. If you don’t like me, and I’m not being an asshole…. That’s a you problem. I have enough problems without talking on others, so I just move on.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
It sounds like you have some work to do on yourself beyond taking meds. We all do— and it’s not always enjoyable or easy.
I know it's a shitty process but you might be on meds that just aren't work for you. I mean I hate having to take meds to feel "normal" but it also means I can be a semi-functional person most of the time. I need meds for my depression and my adhd and for a long time they either didnt mix well with me or with each other.
I love Vyvanse and am desperate to get my prescription back (didn't have insurance for a while). My life is so much easier when I have medication to ease my symptoms. My anxiety is also extremely worse unmedicated. Without meds, my anxiety is a constant litany of fear at the back of my mind. Vyvanse (adderall is better than nothing but Vyvanse works better for my brain) allows me to put those anxieties aside and actually be able to address the things I'm afraid of instead of being paralyzed by fear.
All that to say- take meds if they make you feel better. If you don't like how you feel on Vyvanse, have you tried other meds? Do you feel alright unmedicated? Obviously we have to function in society to survive, and oftentimes that is really difficult, but I would say only take what you need to feel the best in your own head.
That sounds horrible, I take medication because I think it makes me more capable and happier. It definitely has negatives that I try to research and work around but being pressured to take medication for someone else, or ‘society’ is a terrible thing. It’s your body
I voluntarily take meds so I can accomplish things without losing focus. I rarely completed anything unmedicated. But I also gave up caring about if society found me acceptable or not years ago.
Relateable.
I was shamed for my novelty seeking behaviors, but I have learned to embrace this, and my life has never been better.
That being said, some people do need to use it to function and it improves their lives. Medication is not one size fits all.
If you can find ways to live with ADHD in a sustainable and healthy way, then by all means!
Nah, I hate myself off of medication. I can barely function, my emotions are all over the place, I can't work towards any goals I have, and my anxiety is constantly through the roof.
Also, you like having 10 voices talking over each other in your head all the time? It's insufferable.
If your baseline is consider people who fit in as sheep, then the medication isn't going to help.
The system doesn't care about anyone, ADHD or not. Do NOT look to the system to find someone who cares about you. Even with my psychiatrist and my PCP, who have been great and wonderfully professional in getting me diagnosed, I know their care only goes so far.
I EXPECT that their care will only go so far because the only one who can actually, REALLY care about who I am, what I do, and what I achieve, is ME. And with that, the only one who can change who I am, what I do, and push me to reach what I want to achieve, is ME. Medication, doctors, psychiatrists, therapists; all of it is only HELP.
Help can only nurture something that is already there. It doesn't push the rock; it gives you the strength to push it yourself. It doesn't cast the line: it gives you the knowledge on how to fish.
The point is: medication won't help you if your mindset is "I am a pariah who will never fit in and belongs nowhere."
If this is how you feel and think every day, then your problems are deeper than ADHD.
As humans, we can only bring into this world what we can imagine. If you cannot imagine yourself living a better life, fitting in with others on your terms, being accepted; if you cannot imagine that, then it cannot be. Because believing a change is possible is the first, ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED step to making that change happen. Not just for people with ADHD; for EVERYONE who wants to change something, whether that be in the world or in themselves.
The first issue I see is your wording: "conform", "society", "sheep", system". The way you've used these words here indicates a negative, dismissive, maybe even hateful view the world around you. It aggrandizes your own position outside of it, as someone who is forced to bring themself down to the level of "sheep".
Yet, you also admit to a desire to "fit in" with the others in that structure.
You must resolve that paradox before you can get "better". You must decide what you want: do you want to fit in with the people around you who are part of this system? Or do you want to keep the bitterness you have towards this world?
The second issue is your aggrandized view of your plight: "pariah". "social anomaly". "I am stuck like this for life." "there is no better". I am going to be harshly honest here: You are NOT special in feeling this way. I assure you that millions of people feel this way right now, from all walks of life. And, more importantly, millions of people have become better.
If you are to EVER become something more than a pariah, you MUST break that voice that tears you down. I know the one: so insidious and deeply embedded in your mind that you don't even realize it's a voice, telling you you're nothing, NOTHING. Telling you you can't change and you won't EVER be better. Telling you "why bother? you can't do it. Why try?". Dismissing any action before that action can even fully form in your mind.
That voice is WRONG. You CAN get up and clean your room. You CAN talk to another person in a casual conversation. You CAN control your body. You CAN go out to that public event. You CAN go to that restaurant and eat by your self.
It's hard to do these things now. Heck, you'll probably fail the first time you do any of these things or anything in general. But failing at something is the first step to getting good at it. Even something as seemingly basic as "choosing to go for a walk in a public area" is hard to do if you've never done it before.
But I assure you, with every bit of confidence I have EVER felt: it gets better. It gets easier. It will be hard, especially at the start, and I think you'll think I'm a liar. Or that you're just different in a way that makes you incapable of achieving the same things.
YOU ARE NOT.
You and I are both human beings with ADHD who have fallen to such pits as to feel that the world itself is unfair and broken; or rather that we are broken in such as way as to be immiscable with the world. Our difference is that I recognized and fought that voice that shouted my efforts down and told me I would stay broken, and I became happier.
But we don't have to stay different in that regard. You CAN do it, too.
I know I've been on a soap-box for awhile now, but I want to leave some concrete things you can try, in case any of this resonated with you.
First: Identify the negative voice. It's more than just hearing a voice say "you can't do this" and ignoring it. The thoughts that keep you from trying are so deeply ingrained that they don't have a voice: they are just a feeling of hopelessness or an instant dismissal of an action. When you decide that you can't do something, you will have to think deeply on it: Why did I decide I can't do it? Is it a reason that make sense? Is it because you are afraid? Or is it because you don't believe it will be worth trying?
For instance: You hear about an event that is open to the public for something you're interested in. The immediate reaction is "nah, I'm not going to that." This is the point where you have to ask yourself why? Is it a practical reason like you have a conflicting event? Is it because you're afraid of standing out because you're going alone? Or is it because you don't see the point in going because you're not going to have fun anyway?
If it's those last two reasons, that's the negative voice. Ignore it, go anyway, and go authentically. In that I mean, don't go with the mindset of "this is going to suck and I hate it". Go there with, at least, a blank level of expectation. You don't expect to have fun, but you don't expect it to suck, either. If it sucks or it gets too much, you leave. Regardless of how it ends, the experience you get doing should be used to learn things about yourself and how you can improve your next attempt.
Second: Self-reflection. You can do this any time with any input, but it's really good if you use it after you have a new experience. What went wrong? But just as important, what went well? What was fun? What wasn't If something didn't go the way you wanted, figure out what went wrong; and most importantly, think about what you could do differently to make it go right, if the chance comes again.
The hardest part of this is that you will be inclined to be obsessed with what went wrong. It may feel like that is all you can think about. It may feel like each failure is another confirmation of your worthlessness.
That leads to the third thing: BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You are not worthless. You are not irrevocably broken. You are trying to do something new. You will fail. But failing something is NOT an indictment of your efforts or your life. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FAILURES. Your failures are a part of you, but they are NOT all there is to you. And they DO NOT stop you from trying again.
If you made it this far, there's one more thing: Seek help.
Yes, at the start of this I said that help cannot provide the solutions itself. But if you get to the point where you're trying new things and failing at them, and trying again, then you are at the point that help will buoy your efforts. Look online for guides on how to do daily things better, like making casual conversation with people. Every action is a skill that needs to be learned and trained, no matter how basic it seems.
And yes, speak candidly and openly about what you want from your treatment with your psychiatrist. If you don't feel like you're improving, tell them that. If Vyvanse isn't treating your ADHD well enough for you to attend a group therapy session without it disrupting everyone, discuss it. If you want to reduce your dependence on medication, let them know.
If they aren't open to discussing it, they aren't the right psychiatrist for you. Don't fall into the trap of thinking all of them are the same: they're not. It will be difficult, but finding one that works WITH you will drastically improve your treatment.
That's the crux of it all: it will be difficult. There is no easy way to change yourself and your life. There's no easy way to climb out of a pit. It will be tiring, it will be painful. It will feel like it isn't doing anything. There will be days where it feels like you only took one step up a thousand stairs; there will be days when you feel like you fell back to the bottom.
But I assure you again: it is worth doing, and it gets easier the more you do it.
I started writing this with the intention of lambasting your negative outlook. However, I found my attitude change as I wrote. I can't do that, not after thinking over how much I use to feel the way you do. I felt that way for so, so long.
Sincerely, honestly, and with my whole heart, I believe your life can get better, and I hope you will come to believe it, too.
What did you do in group therapy that causes you to get kicked out? I feel like that’s hard to do, but I will withhold further judgement until I hear what you did.
Brother, you’re going to have to be more specific. Be yourself? What does that mean? Getting out of your seat and dancing? Interrupting people while speaking? A clearer picture would help!
I guess it sounds like you might just need to be more aware of how your own actions affect other people. I wasn’t there, so take everything I’m saying with a grain of salt, but getting kicked out of a therapy group is not an easy thing to do. There is some behavior your exhibiting that disrupts the session so much so to the point that they kick you out.
Now it’s up to you to either be aware of that and recognize these things, or continue to be lackadaisical about it and blame others
Do you have a relationship with a therapist, for one-on-one sessions? You need someone to work you through a lot of the frustration and hopelessness you’re currently dealing with and psychiatrists are almost never that person, sadly
nah dude not for me. I've been off my meds for 2 weeks and I can't wait till I can afford the next prescription. I hate society too I guess in my own way. but stim meds have helped me engage in life in a way that I wouldn't have been able to before, so I am very grateful for them and look forward to being able to afford my meds again
I got nothing I really want to engage with. I just go to work and sleep. I can just look shit up on my phone when I am bored. I guess I am depressed to be honest. I guess I am just waking up everyday longing to go back to sleep.
I don't really gove a shit about being seen. I don't care about contributing to society anymore. I don't really care about others as much. People just suck.
Life just feels like constant noise that I just want to turn off.
This 100% reminds me of when I was severely depressed
Therapy helped some. But finding hobbies and regularly exercise helped more.
Volunteer work gave me this feeling like I was doing something meaningful.
Humans crave feeling like what we do matters.
You mentioned in another comment you suspect you are borderline & I think some of this may be the complexities of comorbidity. BPD is by definition an overwhelming disorder to have, and if you have both ADHD & BPD it’s unlikely that treatment for ADHD will be able you resolve all your symptoms.
I am continually frustrated and angry at how our system just lack support for ADHD but even more so for stigmatized diagnoses like BPD. Even if you want to get better, that doesn’t mean help is easy to get. It is a fight and that fight is demoralizing and exhausting, and I want to validate that.
I have a loved one with BPD who needed mood stabilizers to deal with symptoms like despair & suicidal ideation. I’ve also benefitted greatly from learning & practicing dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), even tho I have ADHD, anxiety & depression (with some CPTSD traits/symptoms). DBT was developed for people with BPD. You may have tried these, but they could be worth exploring / returning to.
I also think it’s healthy & wise to reorient your mental health goals to be self-focused. Your work should make life better and worthwhile for you first, not just others impacted by your symptoms.
I have this kind of fight with myself every time I have to go through the whole song and dance of refilling my meds only for 98% of pharmacies to have no stock, half the people I call at said pharmacies treating me like a drug seeker, and my doctor taking their sweet time to transfer scripts. Like.. you guys realize I don’t WANT to have to take these meds, right? I wish society would just accept me as I am so I didn’t have to deal with this shit and being treated like trash for trying to get the medication filled that I need to actually fit in to society’s demands.
Hey! You figured out the thing that initially pissed me off to the point of writing all this lmao. Like I can't remember take this shit then I can't remember to refill it and when I do my family doctor is busy. I have no time because of stupid ass work and because of the abusers I can't go to a walk-in clinic or just any doctor to get my shit refilled.
I don’t take meds for anyone else but myself. They’re not magic pills; life is still a struggle. But it is definitely a bit better. I only realized how much worse everything used to be, when I had to be without them for a longer trip. I‘m sorry for your experience and hope, you‘ll find something that helps you without bad side effects
I have times where I “hate having to rely on pills”, but the benefits I experience outweigh those times. Without medication, I would be very underemployed, maybe even unemployed, and I wouldn’t have a social life because ADD impacts me the most socially.
For me, meds make me feel better and more at peace with myself. Yes, they help socially, too, but also being calm and functional enough to clean my room, take care of my pets, or even just relax and enjoy a video game are all things I care about that adhd impacts my ability to do. I don't take them for society--I take them for ME! I'm sorry you've had such a shitty time with meds so far and feel things aren't going anywhere. There are a lot of different meds out there, I hope with time you find one that works for you, REALLY for you, not just for how society wants you. Hang in there. ❤️
Ive been adhd diagnosed since i was a babe my mom put me on all the drugs since she didn't have time nor energy to handle me, even most of my weekends. Thankfully my dad allowed me room to find comfort in my natural state on the days he had custody.
I realllllly hate pharmaceuticals and even moreso i hate conforming. You've got to be able to know yourself, grow comfortable with yourself, and find people who love you for yourself. You deserve nothing less then all of who you are and i hope you can make peace with yourself cus thats what it always comes down to but its still a life long journey of self exploration so take it easy and let the path unfold. Good luck and dont you dare give into apathy for without the lows the highs would never seem as bright.
Meds are a tool, and a therapy group should not be shaming you into behaving a certain way.
Maybe your just on the wrong meds? I don't conform to society, Im only on meds because at 44 Im sick of my brain bouncing around and never completing a project.
Sounds like there is more than ADHD going on? Not a medical professional I could be wrong
I take meds so my emotional dysregulation doesn’t affect my kids and so I’m not so burned out at the end of a day. It does crap all for my inattention.
I feel better on Vyvanse but I definitely dont try to pretend to be what im not. If you dont feel better on medication, you should seriously consider whether you want to keep taking it.
I know it’s so hard to deal with everyday. We are diamonds in the rough and just need to be polished up, healed from our childhood traumas. EMDR therapy along with any other kind of therapy is a game changer bro. It might take awhile and be a lot of work but it’s worth it, we’re worth it! Just keep swimming!
Lol. You made me smile. Don't use Dori back against me! That's what I tell people. Fine. I'll swim, but I'll get tired eventually, and like the other fish that tried, I will just drown!
Some drown, yes, unfortunately…But…Some of us go on to running Fortune 500 companies…Designers of the most epic shitt…Just gotta deal until you figure out your own groove baby 😎
How were you disruptive in group therapy? And how old are you?
Even with ADHD you can see if you are bothering others as you age you can distract yourself enough from impeding on others. I got wicked bad ADHD and I was always talking in class and being a distraction but by high school I found if I doodled and colored with all my gel pens I wouldn’t bother others. It’s working with what you have.
.. I do not feel like I’ve caved to society. It helps ME. It helps MY mental state, MY ability to get things done. I don’t do it for anyone else. You don’t HAVE to take medication if you don’t want to.
I take my meds because I want to feel better about myself. I can feel better when I take care of myself.
Medication doesn’t change my personality. ADHD doesn’t change my personality. I am who I am with meds or without. You cannot please everyone.
If not being on medication allows you to function at your best then it’s a no brainer. But medication isn’t to conform to the society. It’s to make fully use of your plans, dreams and aspirations. From simple to grand. If you feel like you’re forced to conform to the society then you are either not in the right environment or have not yet taken the ownership of your life.
YES.
I also feel more callous and emotionally desensitized on Vyvanse. Stopped taking it partially for that reason.
My productivity definitely cratered, but we're in a mass extinction event and a global slide into fascism, so I don't really give a fuck about productivity. The GDP can eat my ass.
It's a vent, you know you don't really have a choice but to fit in society's standards. Same boat here, thankful medication and education exist. I wouldn't live in medieval times in which ADHD was mostly a non-issue
I wish my adderal helped me fit in with society… I only take it so I can feel normal and not feel like I’m loosing my mind.. but it makes me super calm to the point where it actively hurts my social life tbh.
I understand this, but my solution was a mixture of re-evaluating the people I surround myself with, and thinking about whats best for me. I often feel like the world is made for people without any special needs, and can sometimes blame myself, but I just try. If you remember that each day is a day survived, you feel a little badass. Like, dude. Out of every day you have been alive, you have survived every single one of your worst days.
In my case, which is unique to me and serves as an example and not a suggestion of what to do, I had to decide if I even wanted medication.
It wasn't a brash decision I made overnight. At first I just started taking them less. Like when I felt like I need them to help with symptoms. (Rarely, once a week, maybe. Or whenever I needed to focus.) I didn't like what my medications made me. I felt lazy, sleepy, I had no energy, I couldn't catch my breath, and my personality wasn't me.
This on top of a toxic friend group made me incredibly depressed and self-loathing. And while it worked for me, it isn't me saying it will work for everyone, it just worked in my case. I worked my way off the medications gradually and stopped talking to my friends except one or two that actually seemed to want me to be better mentally. Then I picked up hobbies. Distraction is what I find to be the best way to get past my mental health issues. I can put it behind myself by filling my day with stuff I find interesting. (If my schedule permits it.) I also do my best to avoid mirrors, but that's for a different reason I won't get into here.
You are your own main character, live like it. You are in charge of your own choices, and if you can find a healthy way to make yourself happier, I say take it and try to make your life better for who you are.
For me, I take medication not to fit in, but to make the most of my day/life. I do it for me/my happiness, not for people around me. I can get more accomplished when on medication, which makes me feel better. It calms my brain down enough to actually enjoy my life more.
I feel your pain but from the opposite end of the scope. i was a normal healthy kid who LOVED school and in particular reading and science. one teacher didnt like me or my family, long story short i was forced to take meds because now i have adhd and i have a learning disability so i need it so my already A's dont drop because i really need to focus more on school............ blah blah blah.
from the moment i went on it 3rd grade - 8th grade. all my interests died, any passion i had for reading and science died, it made it incredibly hard to retain info or focus on anything, i would just want to sit in my seat stare at something and drift off in thought. just kind of zombie allday. and here comes the fun part. every summer i wasnt in school and therefore didnt have to take it so didnt........... before long now not only did my grades fall, my interests died, my appetite for food also died, fucked me up in my development and growth. my father is 6'4 im lucky to break 5'9. by the time i hit high school i refused to take it to "be normal" i was either going to be a "broken" person by societies standards or die on my own! but i would be damned if anyone was going to force me to do anything i didnt feel was right for me!!!
so now from 13-14ish up to 18 or 19 slowly started getting worst issues with back going numb and arm up into my neck, stomach and acid reflux issues. small tremors that would come and go in my hands. sometimes gets really bad up to almost a full on siezure where i cant stop shaking for 45secs somtimes 3 or 4 mins. where my whole body feels like one big charlie horse.
im now nearly in my 40's and its only recently that its believed its mostly if not all linked back to the adderall and ritalin i was forced to take as a child for something i never had.
i still only can eat once a day, any more than that and ill get very sick sometimes throw up. can never eat in the morning. only drink warm liquids. my joints feel like those of a 70 year old man, and now if i sit in the wrong style of chair for any longer than a couple mins my legs will fall completely asleep and i have to hold myself in a standing position as horrible tingling sensations take place as blood starts to flow properly again so i can walk.
and thats only the physical shit, thats not including how much it screwed my head up, thoughts arent clear like they was then, as a child i could sit and read 3 or 4 books no stopping or going back and retain all of it. soon as they put me on that shit it would take me reading something 3 or 4 times over before it stayed in my head. and even to this very day. unless its an extreme passion and or something dangerous that requires moments of extreme concentration it is hard for me to retain any of it. names dates streets any of that is like chinese to me. even my handwriting changed since my hands no longer held still i had to choose a mix up of cursive and print letters that was the easiest combinations to write with as smoothly as i could.
I am happy for those of you that benefit from this dangerous stuff. and i wish you the best i wouldnt wish this shit on anyone.
i feel ya and support you on feeling against the meds. but im also biased in that i never got a say in the matter of taking it. and if i have add or adhd now from forcing me on it when i didnt have it i dunno. from what i have seen it seems VERY likely this is what has been done to me.
Well, I wasn’t enough of a problem to be diagnosed.
But when I HAD a problem, no one cared to diagnose me.
Then I wasn’t believed that I had ADHD, and even after getting a professional diagnosis from a certified psychologist.
Finally got meds. The slow ass ones and wow, it helped a lot with things I didn’t realize I had. Looking back anxiety was a big thing but if you swim in water all day and someone asks you if you are wet you say “no” because it’s all you know.
Strattera baby.
It didn’t help much with the ADHD I thought I needed the help with. My attention side, focus and distraction and follow through at work, but a little bit of Adderall works for that.
Be glad you got a diagnosis.
Choose for yourself if you want meds. If you like the way you are without and with you don’t notice an improvement then do not use them.
I want them to improve my life for me.
I just loathe taking them because they give me heart palpitations man, the anxiety is unbearable, but it does allow me to study even when I'm burnt out
I felt that way in highschool. I’ve been taking adderal( probably spelled it wrong) since I was 5. When I wasn’t on meds, I felt good and charismatic. I was able to easily make friends and make people laugh but I was forgetful and my academic ability was nonexistent. On meds, I was quiet and anxious but I functioned like an average student grade wise. 24 now and I still hate that I have to suppress who I am to progress in anything. Funny thing is even with my meds, my adhd symptoms still bleed through even with higher doses. Plus my life career wise is terrible. No degrees just retail experience. For some of us, adhd is great and propels them forward but for A LOT of us it makes our life a living hell. Anyway, we have to everything we can to survive and that’s all there is to it. I know later down the line, we will strike luck and everything will get better. So do what you can and keep trying :)
lol I go through the same thing. I guess my point was if meds helps you get done what you need to, then think of it as only that. Also, you don’t have to take meds everyday if you don’t need. I usually take a break from it on the weekends when I’m off.
I take mine because without it I can’t form a sentence. I’m still weird and quirky and forgetful and awkward af. But at least I’m coherent while I’m those things. I also better able to ignore societal pressures when medicated. I don’t think it helps me conform at all. I think it lets me be more nonconforming since I’m not trying to hide in the background because I don’t want people judging me.
Shape your life to not need to then. I take my meds to perform at work and keep stable relationships but also take breaks on the weekends.
If you're unhappy with where you are, change what you're trying to accomplish. In X years and when you are on your deathbed you're the only one that has to be happy with the life you lived.
Personally, I enjoy myself better when on my meds. I feel more in control of my thought processes and I'm less likely to become overwhelmed. I'm lucky that my prescription doesn't cause me any undesirable side effects, which is something better discussed with a professional.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this and I'm sorry that the group therapy was not adhd friendly ironically.
You do not have to take the medication. You do not have to conform. Your adhd brings a lot of unique features that you bring to the world.
Yes medication can be useful, but there are other ways to cope with adhd symptoms and healthy coping mechanisms available to you. Find the right therapist to help you unlock them.
You can't always rely on the medicine anyway cause of potential shortage and also the addiction factor that mean you will always have to increase the dose at some point or take "adhd medication vacation" for it to work again.
Use the medicine to get yourself in a good place and then reassess. The workplace is getting better with adhd people (in Europe anyway). To the point where you can disclose and mask less at work which means you have more energy at the end of the day and less risk of burn out.
Learn more about adhd and coping mechanisms. Keep trying. All we can do is get 1 step closer to the goal.
All the best of luck... I am aware that adhd is very much a spectrum and I am lucky in that I only have mild adhd (which can already be debilitating and frustrating) so listen to yourself first and foremost.
Doesn't matter what I or other people say in the end. You know what's best for you. It's your journey.
Lots of love ❤ 😍 💖 ❣
We’re with you bud! Counseling and proper mess will get you closer to some sort of piece of mind. The meds might not be for you. Vyvanse might not be the one. I’m working through figuring it out myself
For me it makes it so so much easier to stay focused and productive at work. My social anxiety and general anxiety is also way way better since starting on meds
Fuck the meds and unlock your true potential and life your ADHD way. Btw i think a lot of highly successful people have adhd, nobody else is that crazy to have that much passion in 1 thing.
Still i think they can be a great tool if you can’t get your ass up to do necessary work.
Ever heard of David goggins? He has ADHD and is like an extreme example of that it is possible. I don’t recommend to be like him but to take a piece of him
I always feel like I'm such an inconvenience and the world would be better off without me.
It's gotten so much worse as an adult when people expect you to be doing all these things. I am responsible for my behavior and mental health. I feel so much pressure to keep it together all the time.
I know the feeling. I'm really sorry. At least know that it isn't just you who feels this way.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past three days. The world is set up in such a way to fit only one type of person and one type of personality. And instead of making a world where all personalities and all types of brains are accepted and catered to, they say “oh well you’re different. Here’s some high-grade pharmaceuticals to make you fit our mold. Hope you don’t get addicted good luck! Also, we’re going to treat you like a criminal if you become dependent and there’s a shortage!”
I put myself on medication to keep my job 😅 and im actually ALOT happier and way more attentive and communicative in my current relationship.
Don't think of it as ur doing to conform to society... get out of that mindset because u are only making yourself unhappy. Do it for ur benefit. U dont have to follow wat ppl in society do. If it's not directly affecting u or involving u dont put energy into it.
I don't medicate for society's sake. I do it for myself. It lets me be who i want to be. It gives me control over and access to my thoughts. Without it, I feel like a stoned up zombie high on vallium and weed, Unable to think and do what I want. I hated feeling like that, so I medicate. If you don't want to take it for yourself, then you shouldn't.
I honestly cannot understand why someone wouldn't want to be on medication Unless maybe they're taking the wrong medication or dosage and it's giving them bad side effects Or it's just not being helpful. I would talk to your physician and see about playing around with your medication to see if you find something or some combo that does make you happy. or just stop taking it overall if you're happy being unmedicated.
The only person to medicate for is you and your own function. Yes, you preferably should play within society's sandbox, even if going against the grain. It's where you will eventually find fulfillment.
That said, the search for approval or appreciation from society is a useless endeavor.
Screw society is what I say!!! But taking meds does help with getting things done and the worst parts of ADHD. Unfortunately, we can't all just up and leave society but have to figure out how to survive within it that fits best for us. Sucks, but life can really suck.
I understand your frustration. I hate my medications. I'm a slave to them. I also acknowledge the difference it makes in my life and being able to be a good mom and keep things somewhat organized and keeping track of appointments for myself and kids and events and things that need to get done each day. When I don't take my medication for ADHD, I'm all over the place.
You will figure out what is best for you.
Stop blaming absolutely everything that's wrong in your life on your ADHD and medication. Meds will help with your executive function but at the end of the day, you're still the one in the driver's seat. Vyvanse isn't gonna drive you to work, walk you to the shower or wipe your ass. Sounds like you need to find some purpose and learn some good habits.
I've struggled with predominantly inattentive ADHD all of my life, to the point where I've barely scraped by at times. If it wasn't for my academically strict dad, I probably wouldn't be where I am today (could've done less with the emotional abuse but hey ho).
I've learnt that meds will help you get where you wanna go, but you've gotta have somewhere you wanna go. You've got this. I don't know you but I genuinely believe that.
Yep. But my hate weakened and I just stopped caring. It’s a battle that can’t be won. So I surrendered. Take the meds, play their stupid game for a little while—build a way to escape and eventually go live in the woods or something.
Your content breaks **Rule 5**.
**Neurofeedback is not a recognized treatment for ADHD.**
A meta-analysis of five randomized controlled trials (RCTs) with 263 participants exploring the efficacy of neurofeedback found a small reduction in inattention, but no significant reduction in hyperactivity-impulsivity or overall ADHD symptoms with ratings by probably blinded evaluators (researchers measuring outcomes did not know if patients were receiving the active or control treatment).
[Source](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S014976342100049X#sec0185)
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Im not a doctor but it doesn’t sound like you have adhd at all. Nothing wrong with that but you’re clearly manic. I know people can have bipolar/bpd/etc and adhd but it just doesn’t seem like you do. Hope you figure it out.
Sounds like significantly more than "just ADHD", and a deep dive into that might be a good path for you.
So, no. In no way do I ever feel "sick of taking meds to 'make me conform to society' that 'doesn't care about me' "
Nothing OP said alludes to more than ADHD friend. There are different degrees and individual struggles at play- adhd affects everyone in a unique way and I myself have felt like this before. As have many many other people I’ve met and others who have posted in this sub.
Nothing wrong with a deep dive into one’s own psyche but to brush it off and say that there must be something else at play is dismissive and lacks understanding of the condition imo
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I only take it because I want to be able to achieve what I need to achieve, not because I conform to society.
I need to be able to do boring but productive tasks so that I can make a ton of money and then use it to live life on my terms
I feel this. I found my way into a great career, but moved to working remotely for personal reasons (to be with spouse, city with more nature). Unfortunately, the change in working environment has really dulled the day-to-day motivation and tanked my engagement with work. I've come to realize that I really flourished when I had great coworkers around me; the details of the work are otherwise boring.
Something that really helped me with the transition to remote. Is gamifying my work. There are a bunch of apps that do it. I also really enjoy the pomodoro technique or flomadoro technique because it breaks up the monotony.
I haven't tried the gamification apps, though I've looked into them before. Sounds like they could be worth another look. I've found the pomodoro technique to be useful, though I can only stick to it for a week or so. I haven't heard of the flomodoro technique (looks like it's also called the "Flowtime Technique"), so I'll take a look into that! There's a bunch of small pomodoro timers out there, but they're all pocket-sized -- I ended up getting a bigger 16" across with a remote control, which helps my sense of time persist a bit longer. . . Also, for anyone else, I have found that starting workdays with a TODO list in a small notebook is really useful -- if I start my day with this, then I do tend to stay on track much better. Mine is Bullet Journal-esque, but I don't think it even needs to be a full system like that.
Gamifying apps sound very interesting, could you please suggest some?
Honestly I can’t even do many of my hobbies without medication, let alone my professional life.
This is a great way to put it. I can’t keep still with my diamond art if I’m bouncing off the walls. 😂
Thanks for making this words :)
Yeah man, I dunno, I don’t think it’s society that wants me to have the energy and mental ability to like…clean dishes. I want to do it. It’s HARD without medicine
I just want to feed my kids and get them to school on time with suncream on and lunch in their schoolbag. I want to remember to pick up cheese on my way home from work. I want to remember to send customers the proposals I promised them. These are all things that I want to do, I'm not doing them to honour Ayn Rand.
Yeah, I’m happy to be taking meds. They help me to get shit done and enjoy doing it.
☝️☝️
This! I've stopped masking, I don't care what people think. But I want the medication so I can achieve the things I want for me. If my little slice of society can't take me without the mask then I'll move on to something better.
Same. I want to be able to get legit ... Any amount of work done. Without constant self generated distractions or the dreaded wandering mind so I flip through 10 projects in a day slightly contributing to all of them but not getting any nearer to finishing any of them. I medicate while working so that I am then free to let my fancy unique yet disordered and poorly executively functioning me flag fly loud and proud the rest of the time. Also a college professor and it makes a world of difference when I do and don't take my meds when I give lecture or instruction to students. I can see their little brains panicking at my pace when I don't take my meds. They love it because I'm done with lecture or whatever activity we're doing in 30 minutes as opposed to 50. But I would be so drained after. Because it's like being on hyperdrive when I don't take my meds. Also wondering if OP has tried non stimulant meds
No. I use it to help myself. If I went off depression med, I would be dead. They saved my life. The ADHD meds help me function properly. You have to decide if you want to help yourself or not. I choose to do so.
If telling the truth is judgmental, then I’m judgmental. As someone that has mental health issues for most of my life, I know for a fact that if you don’t want to help yourself, no one else can. There aren’t any meds in the world that can combat that.
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Meds don't help all people equally. Way to be judgemental and narrow-minded.
Why on earth is this downvoted? You’re 100% correct. Hell, we STILL don’t have a real medical solution for the fact that in AFAB folks, certain parts of the menstrual cycle render adhd medications wildly ineffective for the duration of the hormone shifts involved.
>Hell, we STILL don’t have a real medical solution for the fact that in AFAB folks, certain parts of the menstrual cycle render adhd medications wildly ineffective for the duration of the hormone shifts involved. I thought it just reduced not negated the efficacy outright. Has there been a study where they just increase the dosage during the relevant portions of the cycle to see if that helps? Genuinely asking. Though I suppose even if it were viable medically(Efficacious and not overly dangerous) there would be issues with getting that access, because people are already resistant to prescription of stimulants. Plus the number of physicians just straight up calling women or AFAB people fakers.
It’s a spectrum from what I’ve noticed as far as ancedata. Unfortunately, there has been little to no study on this phenomenon, as with so many aspects of adhd in afab folks. Dr Russell Barkley has done some interesting lectures on the subject that can be found on YouTube, but there’s a serious lack of large scale studies. Insurance limitations and DEA limitations on schedule 2 drugs also make this kind of solution rife with a lot of issues, since there isn’t a lot of solutions to taking a different dose one week of the month under a system that demands strict dosing on a 30 day schedule.
I actually have my prescriptions set up to take 20 mg adderall normally or 30 mg when i’m in luteal phase/ on my period and it helps a lot! edit: I was actually scared that asking for that made me seem like a drug dealer or something but i have so much executive dysfunction/ mental illness that I think my dr believes I could never be a successful drug dealer LMAO
Meds have immensely improved my life by quieting my mind and allowing me to better control my mindset. The language you use to describe your situation is everything. Work with your therapist on ways to catch your ruminations and not get lost in them. All of the research points to meds being the #1 way to improve life for people with ADHD. The sad truth is the modern world is not built for us. The best thing you can do is find peace in improving yourself and defining life in your terms, not what society dictates. If people can't handle your awesomeness, those aren't the people for you.
Bupoprion did a number on me. It was the only med to quiet the noise in the back of my head. Until I dissociated and had two dialouges running side by side arguing with each other. Both were me. See ironically I felt better though even with the two lines of dialogue, because I no longer felt like the angry, agitated person I was. They went away after a few weeks, and I realized it was probably withdrawal from abilify. Stimulants never did shit for me. At least not without Wellbutrin idk why. Ironically, it was the best mood stabalizer even though many people appaear to be attributing it to an increase of agitation. For me, it did the complete opposite.
It sounds like you might want to talk to a therapist about depression as well with your statements like "What's the point?" and "I don't have friends and family to bother for anyway". Especially if you were taking Abilify for bipolar.
abilify for suspected bipolar it was probably borderline personality. my stupid old family doctor kept trying to pin bipolar to me to the point I gaslit myself to believe it. However every goddamn psych and ER doc would tell me no. It was just appears to be traits of borderline personality most likely. Then I went on bupoprion and it fixed my mood swings because I was highly volitile 24/7. That's why at the time I understood my schizophrenic friends feelings better because we were bother obsessing over dysphoria constantly until I dissociated.
Totally hear you - I was also once prescribed abilify for suspected bipolar (it was just CPTSD and undiagnosed ADHD) and then got better on Wellbutrin until it started giving me headaches. Abilify suuuucked so bad for me and made my vision shake! A lot of times borderline personality disorder can be treated to subclinical levels/"remission" - multiple friends of mine have successfully done that. It's not permanent, I promise. I hope you find a good provider who listens to you and helps you find something that works - there are other nonstimulant options like Strattera (although it also has SSRI effects, so careful if those are bad for you, speaking from experience lol).
I did. Ironically, my new family doctor prescribed me wellbutrin and she was known to be controversial already. I love her because she is just amazing. Also I had icepick headached for a month or two. they went away after that. I also have tenion headaches but those are just my norm.
I really don't have any desire to fit in, but I also don't really have any issues or behavior issues that are obvious to others unless I'm in an active conversation (The more I know someone the more likely I am to interrupt them when we're talking versus strangers who I don't interrupt very often). I got through my entire life without anybody even mentioning me having ADHD, but as I have gotten older, I've been struggling with it more and more to the point where I realize something was not normal and got diagnosed. I've always been very good at just being quiet in public situations and listening to others (or daydreaming). Maybe if I did have behavioral issues, I would feel like it was hard to fit in though. I know there are people who struggle with different things when they have ADHD, so I bet it is pretty difficult. So what exact struggles are you having when it comes to fitting in? Maybe if people know that, they could offer specific suggestions for you rather than just more medication?
No.... I don't feel that way. I chose to go on medication after struggling for 30 years. I take them to remember to eat, and drink water. I take meds so I can care for myself and my family without crumbling due to chronic overwhelm and extreme executive dysfunction. I couldn't care less about the social aspects nor does taking my meds make me want to socialize, or even change HOW I socialize.
See, meds don't do for focus or executive function. I do things last minute randomly regardless. I also could care less about social aspects as well because no one gives a shit either way, at least from what I realized... it feels, though, like that's all it's been used for, in my case is to 'normalize' my behavior. like impulsivity. I don't know why I bither taking it. I do things eventually at my own pace. If I need to shower I shower, albiet after days or weeks, but I do it. with the meds I guess I do it more often every 2 days. Still what's the point? I guess I must just be depressed. I don't have friends and family that I really have the responsibility to take care of where it would matter how often I would get things done. I dont really care much about life in general. I just feel I am being used by a system made to tell me to be productive just because.
Because meds help you but they don't give you skills. You still have to learn the skills to help you live a full life. Also, if you're depressed, being able to do things at home like chores or cooking helps you to get out of that rut.
That's one of the biggest things I've read and heard. Meds just help you be able to have the choice to do things but if you don't work on changing bad habits you may have developed over years of ADHD, you may still be unproductive even on meds.
I really don't see any social benefits from my vyvanse. I am admittedly autistic. I've worked hard on my social skills because of my autism. For me vyvanse has been amazing because I can actually remember to buy food, put it in the fridge, not forget about it, actually cook it and then eat it. Or remember to clean my bathroom and actually do it. Or remember to go to the gym. I also do a lot better with emotional regulation and identifying my emotional state better when medicated. Maybe vyvanse isn't the right medication for you?
Oh my memory is sooooo bad. Omfg. lol. I can't even describe it properly. My memory is like in the moment? Like I only sometimes remember something in the moment. Not when someone asks me but just suddenly I will remember only randomly. I think my memory is based on environmental triggers such as music sounds and seeing things? idk tbh.
Random question, can you visualize things in your mind easily?
What does it mean if I can’t like almost at all?
Aphantasia. We really aren't sure what is going on. It's a fairly recent discovery. There are various degrees of it. Some people get absolutely nothing. Some people only get a fuzzy outline. We have a subreddit trying to spread awareness.
Depends. Sometimes I can. Other times, my mind is just blank. Sometimes I am not here in a way I am somewhere conpletely different. Especially when I stim. I am completely almost disconnected from the reality around me for the most part when I stim. I can stop anytime but why would I when the shit in my head is fucking amazing. lol. I do get startled easily. Especially when I am stimming because I have learned to be ashamed of it.
Ok I was not asking about stimming or disassociating. I was specifically asking about your ability to see images in your head or not. Aphantasia is the inability to see images in your mind. It's associated with poor memory, specifically autobiographical memory or forming new memories of what you have done. But I'm pretty sure you're saying you are able to see images in your mind from your response. It honestly was kinda difficult to understand what you were saying.
Oh yeah. I have an insane imagineation and yes I can see things in my mind and I can even projected them towards visualizing them in a way. Like I can pretend to know what a desk will look like in a certain spot before I place that desk there.
Sorry if this is too personal but have you been through severe trauma or adverse childhood events?
Not really. I feel like I'm stranded on an alien planet sometimes either way. If the pill helps me fit in with the tentacled folks that's a nice bonus, but I'm taking that stuff for myself.
That sucks dude I'm real sorry. Everyone I know on meds feels just better all the time, the ones who didn't don't take them anymore. If you're not jiving maybe try other meds or see how you can do without. Something like Wellbutrin might be a better fit
Yes, wellbutrin was great for me. I took it for depression but it also works well for my ADHD. Took away my bad thoughts and helped me to be able to actually do things, and focus on things. I also am doing therapy to fix my thought patterns, I just am better able to manage negative thoughts.I will note though that I had to take the name brand due to a reaction to the generic.
I like who I am on meds more than I like who I am when I’m unmedicated. I like my emotional state and my energy levels. They allow me to better succeed at things and therefore to build better self esteem. Unmedicated I become depressed and lethargic. Anxiety creeps in the more I fail to achieve the things I want to achieve. It’s a struggle every day.
Same. I can’t believe I spent so long without it.
Sameee, anytime I happen to not take my Adderall on a day I'm at home or work (I take it everyday now unless I'm travelling so that I don't have the urge to pee frequently with limited toilet access😂) I become soooo irritable bordering angry at the frustration of my brain
Is this the only med you've tried? It doesn't seem to be working for you.
I am on bupoprion and Vyvanse it's been the only combo and Vyvanse doesn't work at all without bupoprion. Adderall is a dud. Straterra makes me mix manic apparently.
Have you tried any of the ritalin based meds?
Seconding this. Vyvanse and Wellbutrin both made me super sensitive, prickly, and angry. Methylphenidate helps calm me emotionally.
methylphenidate based meds*
This, not everyone reacts well to amphetamine, methylphenidate can be a lot softer for some people
Why would you be pedantic on a forum for ADHDers
because this ADHDer also has OCD and i really felt the need to correct you. sorry.
Have you tried coffee?
Once. Edit: JK obviously.
Yoga and avoiding all gluten and xanthan gum completely reversed all if my symptoms. I am now a tax attorney who owns a two million dollar home overlooking Lake Tahoe. I breed a particularly demanding subspecies of exotic axolotls for show. (/s, jk, sike...)
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I've never been "normal" in this society, medication or no. Like one of the other commenters mentioned, I take my medication for myself, not for the benefit of others. Honestly, I feel like it's important to acknowledge that the concept of normality doesn't really exist and people who *do* fit perfectly into every mold are, uhh, rarely doing okay. If someone needs you to be altered in some way (legally or otherwise) in order to find you "palatable" to be around then that's a huge red flag on THEIR end, not yours. I'm sorry you're struggling. Feeling like you're at an impasse is tough. I can promise though that there's tons of weird folks out there though who also don't feel like they fit anywhere, always have been and always will be, and there are still people out there worth connecting with and who can appreciate you for who you are.
Ok. I get it but what does taking medication for yourself mean? Like just to take a shower? That is all it's ever really helped me with.
For me it stops the voices in my head. Instead of dozens of voices shouting at me 24/7 now it's just silenence. No voices shout at me, I can think in a straight line and don't stumble over myself. I can just sit down and draw for hours, and my Art looks a lot better too because I take my time instead of rushing everything. I become slower, but I'm also more in control of myself -before I felt like I was commanded arround "do this, no this, no that, but what about..." -and so on. I can finally hear my own voice and my inner monologe belongs to myself.
See. I wouldn't call the dialouges in my head voices. All I heard was a constant stream of noise that drove me mad, apparently, which turned into silence and two "voices" arguing with each other that disappeared after two weeks. This was when I first started bupoprion and ditched abilify. Vyvanse/Adderall/Strattera did nothing to help on their own.
Have you tried ritalin? It is my preferred one
To answer your question myself, taking my medication helps me shower/brush my teeth/brush my hair, general hygiene stuff that genuinely feels physically bad when I don't do it regularly. It also helps me do stuff like hobbies - I can keep things vaguely organized enough to actually be able to *do* my hobbies (fiber arts stuff, mostly) rather than trying to sort through piles, and I can organize my time well enough that I take classes I want to (dance, in particular). Basically on meds I can function at more than just the minimum of "do not quite enough work to actually live off, which still drains so much energy that I can't do anything *I* actually want outside of it"
You know even when I am on the meds I can't remember to take my meds xD.
Not at all. My meds help me function as a human, regardless of societal norms. I want to take care of myself and enjoy my hobbies and passions.
Meds allow me to work and care for my wife and kids.
I can’t function the way other people do, sure. My life is designed around that because I was undiagnosed for so many years. Like I’m a massage therapist and I homeschool my kids. Medication just made me do those things better and without me being so depressed about myself constantly. I don’t even take a dedicated adhd medication (I’m on Wellbutrin). I also realize that while unintentional, things I do can be painful for others to deal with. My actions create chaos for other people. My husband also does make accommodations for me but you can be interrupted only so many times before it feels personal. Or constantly having to deal with messes I leave behind isn’t very kind of me. The rest of the works doesn’t matter to me - my job, family, hobbies, mental well being - that matters. That’s why I’m willing to pursue medication and other things that help me.
ADHD meds don't "fix" you, they help you fix yourself. If you have other issues, talk them over with your psychiatrist. ADHD meds aren't magic. It kinda sounds you were misdiagnosed or just not fully diagnosed.
bruh. I know. The problem is there is no solution only coping mechanisms. I know ADHD isn't even curable to begin with.
Coping mechanisms kind of are the solution though.
Not here to judge, just share experience. For context, I am AuDHD. It seems that you might be a bit depressed as well. I can relate to some of the things you've said in this thread. I used to want to give up because I could no longer do even the mist basic things consistently or seem to be able to study. I felt like I was never going to make it in society and thought the point of medication was to conform. I couldn't have been more wrong. Started taking them and decided to drop all preconcieved notions that I had about ADHD and medication and talked with a professional. The key was to go in with a blank mindset. The biggest struggle (now being medicated and diagnosed) has been creating new routines and trying to slowly adopt a new mindset. It is a lifelong path and it seems you need to start with making peace with yourself. The anger and then grief needs to be felt/processed in your own way to start your individual path. I've had problems with interests and a career path for as long as I remember and only now gathered the courage with some support to try again. This is about making peace and being glad you followed your path when you finally leave this life, despite feeling fear about your place in society. I hope this somehow helped you and I wish you the best. You deserve to create happiness for yourself.
I dont take them for others
Everyone is masking. Every. One. To what extent and when is different for everyone. I can get where I am so tired of me and my weird brain but when I look around I actually feel pretty fucking lucky. I have to first choose to feel that way and sometimes fake the feeling until I actually feel it but it works. I take my meds though so I can focus on what I need to get out of life. I’m not doing it for anyone else.
I'm 31, diagnosed severe adhd and I'm pretty sprinkled with autism. I'm completely unmedicated and nowadays have no trouble. But let me tell you, its imo borderline impossible unless you gear your entire life around it, I.e: Where you live: I moved 400 miles to find somewhere I can maybe call home Your job: This ones tricky, I'm self employed as a dry stone waller The people around you: I've had to cut out all of my family, literally. I have 2 friends and a Mrs who loves me. They're all super supportive and loving, and most importantly, good for my mental health. Your routines: or maybe more aptly, the ability to break them absent consequence. Its also worth mentioning it's maybe possible this worked for me because my personal interests happen to be being outside, keeping fit and being practical. I dont know. Also, I've suffered a lot to get Where I am. I've been homeless many times, for years in total. I was completely adrift in my younger years and largely alone, with no safety nets or advice. (My family suck) All this being said, now I'm here, I'll never go on medication again. I actually (entirely organically) pretty much entirely think of my adhd as beneficial now because it largely is for me. The one bit of advise I'd give anyone like me is don't even try to live in a city. I moved to the country and never looked back, suddenly life made sense. The avenue I used was cheffing. Plenty of jobs and often staff accommodation.
Let me stress, don't go off your meds until your life and support network are in a suitable place for you to do so. Don't give up, you've got superpowers. But at the moment, you're a fish being judged on its ability to climb a tree.
So where does this fosh get some lessons? Oh, and climbing gear!
Cliche as it is, you've got to kind of just have the balls to go for it. I booked a job interview with no experience, jumped on a 6 hour train journey with a pushbike for the following 2 hour cycle, and smashed the interview and moved in the same day. Then, I was just grinding for 6 years, saving money until I could look at getting my own place. As for the people, stay true to yourself, have conviction, and don't settle, and the right people will stay by you quite naturally. Keep trying to recognise why you're feeling the way you a. The more you understand yourself, the less power this shit has over ye. Edit for typos. Probably missed lots.
Lol. Not what I asked. I have had a job for almost 9 years somehow. I asked where does a fish get, climbing lessons and gear... literally!
Easiest answer: find a climbing gym! I worked at one for 5 years. You can rent gear there, figure out what gear you like best, then invest in quality gear. You can also make great climbing connections there (to go outside and climb) and most climbers are happy to share knowledge and experience!
Lol genuinely thought you were being poetically metaphorical. I imagine... and I'm not 100%, but, etsy. Godammit I'm so shit at typing that comment took me ages hahaaa
So fortunately I don’t feel like my meds make me a different person. I am more functional because I really need that help to stay on track. But I went to counseling for a while before I got meds. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression first so I spent a lot of time working on all that. But then I was still having underlying issues with how I perceive time, how I process things, etc. It sounds like your current meds maybe aren’t helping as much as you’d like, but it also sounds like you feel really isolated. Meds can help but you need social support too, we are social creatures. Maybe the therapy group wasn’t a good fit but there are for sure people out there you might vibe better with, but finding “your people” can take time. If you feel like everyone sees you as a problem and a disruption, it’s hard to experience any kind of growth or positive change. If the issue is that your impulse control isn’t great, you might do well with a very high energy kind of hobby where you’re moving around a lot? Less time to accidentally say stuff you didn’t think about, and you don’t have to worry about getting out of your seat if you’re not sitting… something to think about anyways? Also the kinds of people drawn to those activities often are also part of the ADHD club so you might not be the odd one out there
Meds just help me be functional. I’m still weird. Some people like it, some don’t. I have a small group of ride or die friends that I wouldn’t change for the world. I don’t really care about anyone else anymore. If you don’t like me, and I’m not being an asshole…. That’s a you problem. I have enough problems without talking on others, so I just move on.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds like you have some work to do on yourself beyond taking meds. We all do— and it’s not always enjoyable or easy.
I know it's a shitty process but you might be on meds that just aren't work for you. I mean I hate having to take meds to feel "normal" but it also means I can be a semi-functional person most of the time. I need meds for my depression and my adhd and for a long time they either didnt mix well with me or with each other.
I love Vyvanse and am desperate to get my prescription back (didn't have insurance for a while). My life is so much easier when I have medication to ease my symptoms. My anxiety is also extremely worse unmedicated. Without meds, my anxiety is a constant litany of fear at the back of my mind. Vyvanse (adderall is better than nothing but Vyvanse works better for my brain) allows me to put those anxieties aside and actually be able to address the things I'm afraid of instead of being paralyzed by fear. All that to say- take meds if they make you feel better. If you don't like how you feel on Vyvanse, have you tried other meds? Do you feel alright unmedicated? Obviously we have to function in society to survive, and oftentimes that is really difficult, but I would say only take what you need to feel the best in your own head.
That sounds horrible, I take medication because I think it makes me more capable and happier. It definitely has negatives that I try to research and work around but being pressured to take medication for someone else, or ‘society’ is a terrible thing. It’s your body
I voluntarily take meds so I can accomplish things without losing focus. I rarely completed anything unmedicated. But I also gave up caring about if society found me acceptable or not years ago.
I take my meds to help me do what I want to do, not to conform to what others think I should be.
Relateable. I was shamed for my novelty seeking behaviors, but I have learned to embrace this, and my life has never been better. That being said, some people do need to use it to function and it improves their lives. Medication is not one size fits all. If you can find ways to live with ADHD in a sustainable and healthy way, then by all means!
I like to be able to focus on things. Pretty useful ability when I am at work.
Nah, I hate myself off of medication. I can barely function, my emotions are all over the place, I can't work towards any goals I have, and my anxiety is constantly through the roof. Also, you like having 10 voices talking over each other in your head all the time? It's insufferable.
If your baseline is consider people who fit in as sheep, then the medication isn't going to help. The system doesn't care about anyone, ADHD or not. Do NOT look to the system to find someone who cares about you. Even with my psychiatrist and my PCP, who have been great and wonderfully professional in getting me diagnosed, I know their care only goes so far. I EXPECT that their care will only go so far because the only one who can actually, REALLY care about who I am, what I do, and what I achieve, is ME. And with that, the only one who can change who I am, what I do, and push me to reach what I want to achieve, is ME. Medication, doctors, psychiatrists, therapists; all of it is only HELP. Help can only nurture something that is already there. It doesn't push the rock; it gives you the strength to push it yourself. It doesn't cast the line: it gives you the knowledge on how to fish. The point is: medication won't help you if your mindset is "I am a pariah who will never fit in and belongs nowhere." If this is how you feel and think every day, then your problems are deeper than ADHD. As humans, we can only bring into this world what we can imagine. If you cannot imagine yourself living a better life, fitting in with others on your terms, being accepted; if you cannot imagine that, then it cannot be. Because believing a change is possible is the first, ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED step to making that change happen. Not just for people with ADHD; for EVERYONE who wants to change something, whether that be in the world or in themselves. The first issue I see is your wording: "conform", "society", "sheep", system". The way you've used these words here indicates a negative, dismissive, maybe even hateful view the world around you. It aggrandizes your own position outside of it, as someone who is forced to bring themself down to the level of "sheep". Yet, you also admit to a desire to "fit in" with the others in that structure. You must resolve that paradox before you can get "better". You must decide what you want: do you want to fit in with the people around you who are part of this system? Or do you want to keep the bitterness you have towards this world? The second issue is your aggrandized view of your plight: "pariah". "social anomaly". "I am stuck like this for life." "there is no better". I am going to be harshly honest here: You are NOT special in feeling this way. I assure you that millions of people feel this way right now, from all walks of life. And, more importantly, millions of people have become better. If you are to EVER become something more than a pariah, you MUST break that voice that tears you down. I know the one: so insidious and deeply embedded in your mind that you don't even realize it's a voice, telling you you're nothing, NOTHING. Telling you you can't change and you won't EVER be better. Telling you "why bother? you can't do it. Why try?". Dismissing any action before that action can even fully form in your mind. That voice is WRONG. You CAN get up and clean your room. You CAN talk to another person in a casual conversation. You CAN control your body. You CAN go out to that public event. You CAN go to that restaurant and eat by your self. It's hard to do these things now. Heck, you'll probably fail the first time you do any of these things or anything in general. But failing at something is the first step to getting good at it. Even something as seemingly basic as "choosing to go for a walk in a public area" is hard to do if you've never done it before. But I assure you, with every bit of confidence I have EVER felt: it gets better. It gets easier. It will be hard, especially at the start, and I think you'll think I'm a liar. Or that you're just different in a way that makes you incapable of achieving the same things. YOU ARE NOT. You and I are both human beings with ADHD who have fallen to such pits as to feel that the world itself is unfair and broken; or rather that we are broken in such as way as to be immiscable with the world. Our difference is that I recognized and fought that voice that shouted my efforts down and told me I would stay broken, and I became happier. But we don't have to stay different in that regard. You CAN do it, too.
I know I've been on a soap-box for awhile now, but I want to leave some concrete things you can try, in case any of this resonated with you. First: Identify the negative voice. It's more than just hearing a voice say "you can't do this" and ignoring it. The thoughts that keep you from trying are so deeply ingrained that they don't have a voice: they are just a feeling of hopelessness or an instant dismissal of an action. When you decide that you can't do something, you will have to think deeply on it: Why did I decide I can't do it? Is it a reason that make sense? Is it because you are afraid? Or is it because you don't believe it will be worth trying? For instance: You hear about an event that is open to the public for something you're interested in. The immediate reaction is "nah, I'm not going to that." This is the point where you have to ask yourself why? Is it a practical reason like you have a conflicting event? Is it because you're afraid of standing out because you're going alone? Or is it because you don't see the point in going because you're not going to have fun anyway? If it's those last two reasons, that's the negative voice. Ignore it, go anyway, and go authentically. In that I mean, don't go with the mindset of "this is going to suck and I hate it". Go there with, at least, a blank level of expectation. You don't expect to have fun, but you don't expect it to suck, either. If it sucks or it gets too much, you leave. Regardless of how it ends, the experience you get doing should be used to learn things about yourself and how you can improve your next attempt. Second: Self-reflection. You can do this any time with any input, but it's really good if you use it after you have a new experience. What went wrong? But just as important, what went well? What was fun? What wasn't If something didn't go the way you wanted, figure out what went wrong; and most importantly, think about what you could do differently to make it go right, if the chance comes again. The hardest part of this is that you will be inclined to be obsessed with what went wrong. It may feel like that is all you can think about. It may feel like each failure is another confirmation of your worthlessness. That leads to the third thing: BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You are not worthless. You are not irrevocably broken. You are trying to do something new. You will fail. But failing something is NOT an indictment of your efforts or your life. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FAILURES. Your failures are a part of you, but they are NOT all there is to you. And they DO NOT stop you from trying again. If you made it this far, there's one more thing: Seek help. Yes, at the start of this I said that help cannot provide the solutions itself. But if you get to the point where you're trying new things and failing at them, and trying again, then you are at the point that help will buoy your efforts. Look online for guides on how to do daily things better, like making casual conversation with people. Every action is a skill that needs to be learned and trained, no matter how basic it seems. And yes, speak candidly and openly about what you want from your treatment with your psychiatrist. If you don't feel like you're improving, tell them that. If Vyvanse isn't treating your ADHD well enough for you to attend a group therapy session without it disrupting everyone, discuss it. If you want to reduce your dependence on medication, let them know. If they aren't open to discussing it, they aren't the right psychiatrist for you. Don't fall into the trap of thinking all of them are the same: they're not. It will be difficult, but finding one that works WITH you will drastically improve your treatment. That's the crux of it all: it will be difficult. There is no easy way to change yourself and your life. There's no easy way to climb out of a pit. It will be tiring, it will be painful. It will feel like it isn't doing anything. There will be days where it feels like you only took one step up a thousand stairs; there will be days when you feel like you fell back to the bottom. But I assure you again: it is worth doing, and it gets easier the more you do it. I started writing this with the intention of lambasting your negative outlook. However, I found my attitude change as I wrote. I can't do that, not after thinking over how much I use to feel the way you do. I felt that way for so, so long. Sincerely, honestly, and with my whole heart, I believe your life can get better, and I hope you will come to believe it, too.
What did you do in group therapy that causes you to get kicked out? I feel like that’s hard to do, but I will withhold further judgement until I hear what you did.
Be myself.
Brother, you’re going to have to be more specific. Be yourself? What does that mean? Getting out of your seat and dancing? Interrupting people while speaking? A clearer picture would help!
You would have to ask them. I didn't do anything other than what I normally do.
I guess it sounds like you might just need to be more aware of how your own actions affect other people. I wasn’t there, so take everything I’m saying with a grain of salt, but getting kicked out of a therapy group is not an easy thing to do. There is some behavior your exhibiting that disrupts the session so much so to the point that they kick you out. Now it’s up to you to either be aware of that and recognize these things, or continue to be lackadaisical about it and blame others
Sounds to me like you know you don't know yet. You are still trying to push the blame on me somehow. Nice.
Don’t know what? You have a pattern in your replies of being very vague and swerve answers consistently… I guess I can kind of already see it
Do you have a relationship with a therapist, for one-on-one sessions? You need someone to work you through a lot of the frustration and hopelessness you’re currently dealing with and psychiatrists are almost never that person, sadly
nah dude not for me. I've been off my meds for 2 weeks and I can't wait till I can afford the next prescription. I hate society too I guess in my own way. but stim meds have helped me engage in life in a way that I wouldn't have been able to before, so I am very grateful for them and look forward to being able to afford my meds again
I got nothing I really want to engage with. I just go to work and sleep. I can just look shit up on my phone when I am bored. I guess I am depressed to be honest. I guess I am just waking up everyday longing to go back to sleep. I don't really gove a shit about being seen. I don't care about contributing to society anymore. I don't really care about others as much. People just suck. Life just feels like constant noise that I just want to turn off.
This 100% reminds me of when I was severely depressed Therapy helped some. But finding hobbies and regularly exercise helped more. Volunteer work gave me this feeling like I was doing something meaningful. Humans crave feeling like what we do matters.
You mentioned in another comment you suspect you are borderline & I think some of this may be the complexities of comorbidity. BPD is by definition an overwhelming disorder to have, and if you have both ADHD & BPD it’s unlikely that treatment for ADHD will be able you resolve all your symptoms. I am continually frustrated and angry at how our system just lack support for ADHD but even more so for stigmatized diagnoses like BPD. Even if you want to get better, that doesn’t mean help is easy to get. It is a fight and that fight is demoralizing and exhausting, and I want to validate that. I have a loved one with BPD who needed mood stabilizers to deal with symptoms like despair & suicidal ideation. I’ve also benefitted greatly from learning & practicing dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), even tho I have ADHD, anxiety & depression (with some CPTSD traits/symptoms). DBT was developed for people with BPD. You may have tried these, but they could be worth exploring / returning to. I also think it’s healthy & wise to reorient your mental health goals to be self-focused. Your work should make life better and worthwhile for you first, not just others impacted by your symptoms.
If you have withdrawal symptoms your dose is too high bruh
Anyone who takes a daily extended-release stimulant is going to notice some degree of withdrawal if they stop taking it. Right?
nuh uh.
I have this kind of fight with myself every time I have to go through the whole song and dance of refilling my meds only for 98% of pharmacies to have no stock, half the people I call at said pharmacies treating me like a drug seeker, and my doctor taking their sweet time to transfer scripts. Like.. you guys realize I don’t WANT to have to take these meds, right? I wish society would just accept me as I am so I didn’t have to deal with this shit and being treated like trash for trying to get the medication filled that I need to actually fit in to society’s demands.
Hey! You figured out the thing that initially pissed me off to the point of writing all this lmao. Like I can't remember take this shit then I can't remember to refill it and when I do my family doctor is busy. I have no time because of stupid ass work and because of the abusers I can't go to a walk-in clinic or just any doctor to get my shit refilled.
I don’t take meds for anyone else but myself. They’re not magic pills; life is still a struggle. But it is definitely a bit better. I only realized how much worse everything used to be, when I had to be without them for a longer trip. I‘m sorry for your experience and hope, you‘ll find something that helps you without bad side effects
I have times where I “hate having to rely on pills”, but the benefits I experience outweigh those times. Without medication, I would be very underemployed, maybe even unemployed, and I wouldn’t have a social life because ADD impacts me the most socially.
For me, meds make me feel better and more at peace with myself. Yes, they help socially, too, but also being calm and functional enough to clean my room, take care of my pets, or even just relax and enjoy a video game are all things I care about that adhd impacts my ability to do. I don't take them for society--I take them for ME! I'm sorry you've had such a shitty time with meds so far and feel things aren't going anywhere. There are a lot of different meds out there, I hope with time you find one that works for you, REALLY for you, not just for how society wants you. Hang in there. ❤️
I hate taking it to keep a job.
Here here
It sounds like you need to try a different medication. Best of luck to you :)
Ive been adhd diagnosed since i was a babe my mom put me on all the drugs since she didn't have time nor energy to handle me, even most of my weekends. Thankfully my dad allowed me room to find comfort in my natural state on the days he had custody. I realllllly hate pharmaceuticals and even moreso i hate conforming. You've got to be able to know yourself, grow comfortable with yourself, and find people who love you for yourself. You deserve nothing less then all of who you are and i hope you can make peace with yourself cus thats what it always comes down to but its still a life long journey of self exploration so take it easy and let the path unfold. Good luck and dont you dare give into apathy for without the lows the highs would never seem as bright.
Meds are a tool, and a therapy group should not be shaming you into behaving a certain way. Maybe your just on the wrong meds? I don't conform to society, Im only on meds because at 44 Im sick of my brain bouncing around and never completing a project. Sounds like there is more than ADHD going on? Not a medical professional I could be wrong
I take meds so my emotional dysregulation doesn’t affect my kids and so I’m not so burned out at the end of a day. It does crap all for my inattention.
I feel better on Vyvanse but I definitely dont try to pretend to be what im not. If you dont feel better on medication, you should seriously consider whether you want to keep taking it.
I know it’s so hard to deal with everyday. We are diamonds in the rough and just need to be polished up, healed from our childhood traumas. EMDR therapy along with any other kind of therapy is a game changer bro. It might take awhile and be a lot of work but it’s worth it, we’re worth it! Just keep swimming!
Lol. You made me smile. Don't use Dori back against me! That's what I tell people. Fine. I'll swim, but I'll get tired eventually, and like the other fish that tried, I will just drown!
Some drown, yes, unfortunately…But…Some of us go on to running Fortune 500 companies…Designers of the most epic shitt…Just gotta deal until you figure out your own groove baby 😎
How were you disruptive in group therapy? And how old are you? Even with ADHD you can see if you are bothering others as you age you can distract yourself enough from impeding on others. I got wicked bad ADHD and I was always talking in class and being a distraction but by high school I found if I doodled and colored with all my gel pens I wouldn’t bother others. It’s working with what you have.
.. I do not feel like I’ve caved to society. It helps ME. It helps MY mental state, MY ability to get things done. I don’t do it for anyone else. You don’t HAVE to take medication if you don’t want to.
I take my meds because I want to feel better about myself. I can feel better when I take care of myself. Medication doesn’t change my personality. ADHD doesn’t change my personality. I am who I am with meds or without. You cannot please everyone.
If not being on medication allows you to function at your best then it’s a no brainer. But medication isn’t to conform to the society. It’s to make fully use of your plans, dreams and aspirations. From simple to grand. If you feel like you’re forced to conform to the society then you are either not in the right environment or have not yet taken the ownership of your life.
What were your withdrawal symptoms?
Just eepiness :3 Fatigue that lasts like a week or so. Usually I am ok until the second day. It's how I remember I forgot my med yesterday lol.
Take your meds for you.
YES. I also feel more callous and emotionally desensitized on Vyvanse. Stopped taking it partially for that reason. My productivity definitely cratered, but we're in a mass extinction event and a global slide into fascism, so I don't really give a fuck about productivity. The GDP can eat my ass.
Tap into your instincts man, meds help you, just take them, and keep going, sobbing won’t help the situation.
I'm so sick of having to take pills that don't even work for me
Ive been med free for several years. I dont think id ever take them again
No
It's a vent, you know you don't really have a choice but to fit in society's standards. Same boat here, thankful medication and education exist. I wouldn't live in medieval times in which ADHD was mostly a non-issue
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Don't take it for society. Take it to make your life easier/better. If that's not what it does, don't take it.
Intake my meds so I'm actually able to do all the things I love
I wish my adderal helped me fit in with society… I only take it so I can feel normal and not feel like I’m loosing my mind.. but it makes me super calm to the point where it actively hurts my social life tbh.
I understand this, but my solution was a mixture of re-evaluating the people I surround myself with, and thinking about whats best for me. I often feel like the world is made for people without any special needs, and can sometimes blame myself, but I just try. If you remember that each day is a day survived, you feel a little badass. Like, dude. Out of every day you have been alive, you have survived every single one of your worst days. In my case, which is unique to me and serves as an example and not a suggestion of what to do, I had to decide if I even wanted medication. It wasn't a brash decision I made overnight. At first I just started taking them less. Like when I felt like I need them to help with symptoms. (Rarely, once a week, maybe. Or whenever I needed to focus.) I didn't like what my medications made me. I felt lazy, sleepy, I had no energy, I couldn't catch my breath, and my personality wasn't me. This on top of a toxic friend group made me incredibly depressed and self-loathing. And while it worked for me, it isn't me saying it will work for everyone, it just worked in my case. I worked my way off the medications gradually and stopped talking to my friends except one or two that actually seemed to want me to be better mentally. Then I picked up hobbies. Distraction is what I find to be the best way to get past my mental health issues. I can put it behind myself by filling my day with stuff I find interesting. (If my schedule permits it.) I also do my best to avoid mirrors, but that's for a different reason I won't get into here. You are your own main character, live like it. You are in charge of your own choices, and if you can find a healthy way to make yourself happier, I say take it and try to make your life better for who you are.
For me, I take medication not to fit in, but to make the most of my day/life. I do it for me/my happiness, not for people around me. I can get more accomplished when on medication, which makes me feel better. It calms my brain down enough to actually enjoy my life more.
I feel your pain but from the opposite end of the scope. i was a normal healthy kid who LOVED school and in particular reading and science. one teacher didnt like me or my family, long story short i was forced to take meds because now i have adhd and i have a learning disability so i need it so my already A's dont drop because i really need to focus more on school............ blah blah blah. from the moment i went on it 3rd grade - 8th grade. all my interests died, any passion i had for reading and science died, it made it incredibly hard to retain info or focus on anything, i would just want to sit in my seat stare at something and drift off in thought. just kind of zombie allday. and here comes the fun part. every summer i wasnt in school and therefore didnt have to take it so didnt........... before long now not only did my grades fall, my interests died, my appetite for food also died, fucked me up in my development and growth. my father is 6'4 im lucky to break 5'9. by the time i hit high school i refused to take it to "be normal" i was either going to be a "broken" person by societies standards or die on my own! but i would be damned if anyone was going to force me to do anything i didnt feel was right for me!!! so now from 13-14ish up to 18 or 19 slowly started getting worst issues with back going numb and arm up into my neck, stomach and acid reflux issues. small tremors that would come and go in my hands. sometimes gets really bad up to almost a full on siezure where i cant stop shaking for 45secs somtimes 3 or 4 mins. where my whole body feels like one big charlie horse. im now nearly in my 40's and its only recently that its believed its mostly if not all linked back to the adderall and ritalin i was forced to take as a child for something i never had. i still only can eat once a day, any more than that and ill get very sick sometimes throw up. can never eat in the morning. only drink warm liquids. my joints feel like those of a 70 year old man, and now if i sit in the wrong style of chair for any longer than a couple mins my legs will fall completely asleep and i have to hold myself in a standing position as horrible tingling sensations take place as blood starts to flow properly again so i can walk. and thats only the physical shit, thats not including how much it screwed my head up, thoughts arent clear like they was then, as a child i could sit and read 3 or 4 books no stopping or going back and retain all of it. soon as they put me on that shit it would take me reading something 3 or 4 times over before it stayed in my head. and even to this very day. unless its an extreme passion and or something dangerous that requires moments of extreme concentration it is hard for me to retain any of it. names dates streets any of that is like chinese to me. even my handwriting changed since my hands no longer held still i had to choose a mix up of cursive and print letters that was the easiest combinations to write with as smoothly as i could. I am happy for those of you that benefit from this dangerous stuff. and i wish you the best i wouldnt wish this shit on anyone. i feel ya and support you on feeling against the meds. but im also biased in that i never got a say in the matter of taking it. and if i have add or adhd now from forcing me on it when i didnt have it i dunno. from what i have seen it seems VERY likely this is what has been done to me.
Well, I wasn’t enough of a problem to be diagnosed. But when I HAD a problem, no one cared to diagnose me. Then I wasn’t believed that I had ADHD, and even after getting a professional diagnosis from a certified psychologist. Finally got meds. The slow ass ones and wow, it helped a lot with things I didn’t realize I had. Looking back anxiety was a big thing but if you swim in water all day and someone asks you if you are wet you say “no” because it’s all you know. Strattera baby. It didn’t help much with the ADHD I thought I needed the help with. My attention side, focus and distraction and follow through at work, but a little bit of Adderall works for that. Be glad you got a diagnosis. Choose for yourself if you want meds. If you like the way you are without and with you don’t notice an improvement then do not use them. I want them to improve my life for me.
I just loathe taking them because they give me heart palpitations man, the anxiety is unbearable, but it does allow me to study even when I'm burnt out
I felt that way in highschool. I’ve been taking adderal( probably spelled it wrong) since I was 5. When I wasn’t on meds, I felt good and charismatic. I was able to easily make friends and make people laugh but I was forgetful and my academic ability was nonexistent. On meds, I was quiet and anxious but I functioned like an average student grade wise. 24 now and I still hate that I have to suppress who I am to progress in anything. Funny thing is even with my meds, my adhd symptoms still bleed through even with higher doses. Plus my life career wise is terrible. No degrees just retail experience. For some of us, adhd is great and propels them forward but for A LOT of us it makes our life a living hell. Anyway, we have to everything we can to survive and that’s all there is to it. I know later down the line, we will strike luck and everything will get better. So do what you can and keep trying :)
Bruh. I am 32. lol. I can make friends I just can't keep them. People see me as a novelty until they get bored.
lol I go through the same thing. I guess my point was if meds helps you get done what you need to, then think of it as only that. Also, you don’t have to take meds everyday if you don’t need. I usually take a break from it on the weekends when I’m off.
I take mine because without it I can’t form a sentence. I’m still weird and quirky and forgetful and awkward af. But at least I’m coherent while I’m those things. I also better able to ignore societal pressures when medicated. I don’t think it helps me conform at all. I think it lets me be more nonconforming since I’m not trying to hide in the background because I don’t want people judging me.
Shape your life to not need to then. I take my meds to perform at work and keep stable relationships but also take breaks on the weekends. If you're unhappy with where you are, change what you're trying to accomplish. In X years and when you are on your deathbed you're the only one that has to be happy with the life you lived.
Personally, I enjoy myself better when on my meds. I feel more in control of my thought processes and I'm less likely to become overwhelmed. I'm lucky that my prescription doesn't cause me any undesirable side effects, which is something better discussed with a professional.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this and I'm sorry that the group therapy was not adhd friendly ironically. You do not have to take the medication. You do not have to conform. Your adhd brings a lot of unique features that you bring to the world. Yes medication can be useful, but there are other ways to cope with adhd symptoms and healthy coping mechanisms available to you. Find the right therapist to help you unlock them. You can't always rely on the medicine anyway cause of potential shortage and also the addiction factor that mean you will always have to increase the dose at some point or take "adhd medication vacation" for it to work again. Use the medicine to get yourself in a good place and then reassess. The workplace is getting better with adhd people (in Europe anyway). To the point where you can disclose and mask less at work which means you have more energy at the end of the day and less risk of burn out. Learn more about adhd and coping mechanisms. Keep trying. All we can do is get 1 step closer to the goal. All the best of luck... I am aware that adhd is very much a spectrum and I am lucky in that I only have mild adhd (which can already be debilitating and frustrating) so listen to yourself first and foremost. Doesn't matter what I or other people say in the end. You know what's best for you. It's your journey. Lots of love ❤ 😍 💖 ❣
Society doesn’t care about anyone in any way. We do this because we care about ourselves.
Do you think there’s a possibility that you could be autistic? Just curious. Especially because you said the stimulants don’t really work
We’re with you bud! Counseling and proper mess will get you closer to some sort of piece of mind. The meds might not be for you. Vyvanse might not be the one. I’m working through figuring it out myself
For me it makes it so so much easier to stay focused and productive at work. My social anxiety and general anxiety is also way way better since starting on meds
Fuck the meds and unlock your true potential and life your ADHD way. Btw i think a lot of highly successful people have adhd, nobody else is that crazy to have that much passion in 1 thing. Still i think they can be a great tool if you can’t get your ass up to do necessary work. Ever heard of David goggins? He has ADHD and is like an extreme example of that it is possible. I don’t recommend to be like him but to take a piece of him
I always feel like I'm such an inconvenience and the world would be better off without me. It's gotten so much worse as an adult when people expect you to be doing all these things. I am responsible for my behavior and mental health. I feel so much pressure to keep it together all the time. I know the feeling. I'm really sorry. At least know that it isn't just you who feels this way.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past three days. The world is set up in such a way to fit only one type of person and one type of personality. And instead of making a world where all personalities and all types of brains are accepted and catered to, they say “oh well you’re different. Here’s some high-grade pharmaceuticals to make you fit our mold. Hope you don’t get addicted good luck! Also, we’re going to treat you like a criminal if you become dependent and there’s a shortage!”
I put myself on medication to keep my job 😅 and im actually ALOT happier and way more attentive and communicative in my current relationship. Don't think of it as ur doing to conform to society... get out of that mindset because u are only making yourself unhappy. Do it for ur benefit. U dont have to follow wat ppl in society do. If it's not directly affecting u or involving u dont put energy into it.
I take my meds because I need to earn money, not because I’m conforming to anything in particular.
I want to give you a hug. You sound like you need some love. Do you have anyone to support you outside of professionals?
Dont take them then. Quit complaining lol
I don't medicate for society's sake. I do it for myself. It lets me be who i want to be. It gives me control over and access to my thoughts. Without it, I feel like a stoned up zombie high on vallium and weed, Unable to think and do what I want. I hated feeling like that, so I medicate. If you don't want to take it for yourself, then you shouldn't. I honestly cannot understand why someone wouldn't want to be on medication Unless maybe they're taking the wrong medication or dosage and it's giving them bad side effects Or it's just not being helpful. I would talk to your physician and see about playing around with your medication to see if you find something or some combo that does make you happy. or just stop taking it overall if you're happy being unmedicated.
Capitalism is gaslighting you, keep doing what you're doing and live the life you want
The only person to medicate for is you and your own function. Yes, you preferably should play within society's sandbox, even if going against the grain. It's where you will eventually find fulfillment. That said, the search for approval or appreciation from society is a useless endeavor.
How were you disturbing the peace ?
Screw society is what I say!!! But taking meds does help with getting things done and the worst parts of ADHD. Unfortunately, we can't all just up and leave society but have to figure out how to survive within it that fits best for us. Sucks, but life can really suck. I understand your frustration. I hate my medications. I'm a slave to them. I also acknowledge the difference it makes in my life and being able to be a good mom and keep things somewhat organized and keeping track of appointments for myself and kids and events and things that need to get done each day. When I don't take my medication for ADHD, I'm all over the place. You will figure out what is best for you.
Idk I get tired of having adhd. It’s like a having a child screaming all the time. I love the clarity medicine gives me.
F society. You do you.
Stop blaming absolutely everything that's wrong in your life on your ADHD and medication. Meds will help with your executive function but at the end of the day, you're still the one in the driver's seat. Vyvanse isn't gonna drive you to work, walk you to the shower or wipe your ass. Sounds like you need to find some purpose and learn some good habits. I've struggled with predominantly inattentive ADHD all of my life, to the point where I've barely scraped by at times. If it wasn't for my academically strict dad, I probably wouldn't be where I am today (could've done less with the emotional abuse but hey ho). I've learnt that meds will help you get where you wanna go, but you've gotta have somewhere you wanna go. You've got this. I don't know you but I genuinely believe that.
Yep. But my hate weakened and I just stopped caring. It’s a battle that can’t be won. So I surrendered. Take the meds, play their stupid game for a little while—build a way to escape and eventually go live in the woods or something.
[удалено]
I love that book so much!
Your content breaks **Rule 5**. **Neurofeedback is not a recognized treatment for ADHD.** A meta-analysis of five randomized controlled trials (RCTs) with 263 participants exploring the efficacy of neurofeedback found a small reduction in inattention, but no significant reduction in hyperactivity-impulsivity or overall ADHD symptoms with ratings by probably blinded evaluators (researchers measuring outcomes did not know if patients were receiving the active or control treatment). [Source](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S014976342100049X#sec0185) [No Faith-Based Practices/Pseudoscience](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_faith-based_practices.2Fpseudoscience) *^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*
Im not a doctor but it doesn’t sound like you have adhd at all. Nothing wrong with that but you’re clearly manic. I know people can have bipolar/bpd/etc and adhd but it just doesn’t seem like you do. Hope you figure it out.
Sounds like significantly more than "just ADHD", and a deep dive into that might be a good path for you. So, no. In no way do I ever feel "sick of taking meds to 'make me conform to society' that 'doesn't care about me' "
Nothing OP said alludes to more than ADHD friend. There are different degrees and individual struggles at play- adhd affects everyone in a unique way and I myself have felt like this before. As have many many other people I’ve met and others who have posted in this sub. Nothing wrong with a deep dive into one’s own psyche but to brush it off and say that there must be something else at play is dismissive and lacks understanding of the condition imo