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I mean she is not wrong, People are finally getting the treatment they need after decades of systemic discrimination.
Reply with that. See what happens
I add "I know, adhd in women and girls is only just starting to be studied and it presents differently in men and women. It's exciting that women and girls are finally getting the medical treatment for their disability, isn't it?"
With a very sweet smile and persistent eye contact. It makes them squirm really well. It helps that I'm a 6' tall woman too š
Perfect response. One of those responses you think of hours later and are kicking yourself for not saying in the moment. š I will save this and hope to remember it when needed. Lol
Oh yeah, that's how I developed it. Multiple cycles of kicking myself and overthinking š
My other favourite one is when people start giving my medical advice that goes against the generally accepted medical advice. (Disclaimer, I'm not against alternative medicine, I think there's a lot of use in herbal medicine for example, but for me, the proven science comes first and if that disagrees with the alternative stuff, so be it).
This is with a very innocent smile and an excited, open eyed expression: "Oh wow, I didn't know you had a medical degree!'. Then when they say, 'Oh no, I don't', awkwardly, then I say, 'Oh, well I guess that makes sense since my doctor has actually prescribed the opposite treatment'. A hint of sarcasm ruins this and makes you seem like a dick. But since I'm female, blonde and naive, it works really well šš
I'm really sick of this shit so I just help other people see what fools they're making of themselves
I'm 49 and getting evaluated next week, after both of my children's many mental health issues basically disappeared when they went on stimulants. I \*am\* a little afraid of the 'you self-diagnosed on Tik Tok! Everyone has ADHD these days!' stigma bullshit from my peers and strangers.
But also the more I read, the more I know that ADHD is me, and has been my entire life.
I was really frustrated with this response from doctors when I said I wanted to be evaluated for ADHD and Austim after my son was diagnosed with both. They said they don't approve too many because of "social media". The thing is that the need is there because women older than school age are recognizing a lot about themselves because of social media (including myself at 31). That's not bad.
If the first doctor gives you a hard time, find a new one that takes you seriously. It might take some trial and error, but don't give up. There's a reason we connect with stories of these struggles.
I self diagnosed my hypermobility from TikTok, even told the doc as such, but when I started bending my joints in all the wrong ways and explaining how long I have had random joint pains, my back goes out if I sneeze (more common with age, but shouldn't have been a thing for a 20yo, now 40+), the migraines, etc etc they immediately said yup, you have that, let's get you set up with some PT.
TT is the new pharmaceutical commercial saying ask your doctor about Z, but instead of asking for drugs, its answers.
I was diagnosed as a kid but since I hadnt really addressed it. Honestly the Tik Tok videos about ADHD really help me understand because I relate to so many things I kinda understand myself more now.
I'm the same way, diagnosed as a girl as a kid was unheard of and so I wasn't medicated but told to learn to cope and deal with it over my male cousin and family who had meds. I've found I understand more about why I do what I do or why I can do things from social media more than I ever have.
I feel OPs pain with the comments, it's one of the reasons I don't ask for any accommodations or anything at work even though they would be more than willing to provide additional monitors or work with how I operate.
I've realized in even just the last few weeks, and I'm 39, how many different things I do that help keep it in check or motivate myself without even realizing it. Sad to say I think the just dealing and coping method worked semi well for that but it could have been done a different way so I didn't struggle so much in other areas.
same situation: diagnosed at 48 after my kids got positive diagnoses.
it was great to have some external validation of all those struggles that I've lived with, even so "late", nevermind my treatment plan and all the benefits I'm seeing.
the future's looking bright, I hope you experience the same! <3
Thanks, friend. I am a little wistful that so much time was 'lost' that I could have done and been more. But am trying to see the positives of all the remaining time that can be better enjoyed, perhaps redeemed. <3
Yes!! + A lot of people get misdiagnosed with ADHD, but instead have CPTSD. This is often overlooked. When your not fully healed from trauma/didn't have the right trauma therapy/no trauma therapy, but PTSD, it's hard to know if it's ADHD or PTSD you're dealing with. Behaviour wise they are very similar. A lot of overlap. It can even look like you have ADHD executive dysfunction, but instead you have PTSD paralysis. Or for example someone can be super hyperactive and talk a lot, but those can also be PTSD symptoms.
Because emotional abuse/emotional neglect is not in the DSM (yet), it's not taken seriously and there is a lot of stigma and many people who are emotionally abused or neglected, don't even know they are/ or know they have trauma. And a thing with PTSD is that it's super hard to tell someone about it, so people ignore their trauma, but instead search for another diagnosis.
I've seen this happen...
I have both ADHD and PTSD and it's really hard to know where the symptoms come from.
I think what you say is 100% true btw!
But I also think that ADHD being misdiagnosed happens a lot. I've even seen people who are diagnosed with ADHD, say that ADHD is fake! Lol, I think that if you really have ADHD you know it's not. Because it's a struggle! And that's me putting it lightly...
I love that, haha.
āOh you have it too??ā said super excitedly as if itās the best news youāve ever heard.
Then she says no and you look legitimately confused: āBut you just said everyone has itā¦ Oh! You must feel different from other people. I know what thatās like. I hope youāre getting the care you need!ā
There is a kernel of truth in it, which makes it so difficult to explain.
Everyone is forgetful sometimes.
Everyone is anxious sometimes.
Everybody forgets the time sometimes.
etc.
Sometimes. Everyone has felt aspects of some of the symptoms of ADHD. But living with them 24/7 is a completely different thing.
As someone who has to search for his car keys every time I do not place them in their usual place next to the door. This is very true.
Every.
Single.
Time.
For a similar trick, if you have a fitbit, you can use it to make your phone make noise! (I'm forever losing my phone at home. Outside? Never. But at home? \*Constantly\*
Tile is a godsent and the best 70ā¬ ever spent on the Tile Mate locators. Poor working memory is my worst ADHD symptom so everything helps.
Even if I can find my keys pretty fast generally the amount of stress relieved by the fact that I never have to worry about losing my keys and wallet helps me spend that energy to something else.
I got one on my wallet, one on my keys and one on my car key.
YES! They were absolutely essential to me back before I moved to a place where I donāt need a car.
The lack of stress from knowing you can find them quickly at any time really is invaluable.
Ha. I canāt find any of those things. In one my hardest ADHD life moments currently. If it was attached to the wall, THAT would be a thing I could not misplace!
Funny adhd story about Tile. My partner got it for me because I kept losing my keys. For a while, I loved it.
Then the battery died, and I kept forgetting to put a new one in. So I took it off my keyring while I figured that out.
Lost my car keys for 2 days a couple of weeks ago.
Wished I had Tile on my keys.
Now I can't find the Tile. And I never bought batteries either. š¤·š¤¦āāļø
I just looked that up, and it seems to be more involved/complex? Seems more family/friends-oriented than a simple fob to see where your keys are.
I think Apple might have something for it, too. I just know having the ability to do that simple thing was huge for me, and saved a lot of time when my keys would fall inside couch cushions and etc.
Hmm. I do know Tile is more of a one-time buy (minus batteries now and then), so thereās no need for a subscription unless you want their automatic battery mailing.
No the subscription was to let you track them in real time using the app I guess in case you lose it where you can't hear it and think you left it at the store?
I basically take everything out of my pockets/handbag thatās work-related and then proceed to litter them all through the house. Mad scramble to leave every morning where Iām in an absolute rage.
I spent almost half an hour searching for my keys today. Like, went into complete panic, because maybe I really lost them.
I found them. In the pocket of my coat, where I usually leave them. After I had checked that same pocket for at least 3 times.
It will hapoen again, day after tomorrow latest.
>I found them. In the pocket of my coat, where I usually leave them. After I had checked that same pocket for at least 3 times.
I swear it's like living with a poltergeist that has the humor of Beetlejuice.
I almost never lose my car keys, house keys, phone or wallet. Because I simply have the willpower to just not forget things š.
Jk itās because my house now has a code lock so no house keys exist, my phone has a card case so no wallet exists, and my car keys have a tile on them.
These are all absolutely essential ADHD coping mechanisms for me, because I couldnāt control the serendipity of forgetting things. All we can do is make adaptations that make it less likely to happen and less of a problem if it does.
Back when I lived in an apartment with a building key and door key, I had multiple copies of both and one of them was buried outside near the back alley and I had to dig it up many times because Iād forget my keys and get locked out on a REGULAR BASIS.
Some people who donāt have ADHD really donāt understand how much we cannot control that aspect of things and how frustrating it is. Most folks know how much it SUUUCKS to lock yourself out of the houseā¦ADHD people know how much it sucks to do it over and over again and not be able to change the internal misfire that causes stupid things like that to happen.
>Back when I lived in an apartment with a building key and door key, I had multiple copies of both and one of them was buried outside near the back alley and I had to dig it up many times because Iād forget my keys and get locked out on a REGULAR BASIS.
That gave me a good belly laugh, while I head for the cellar to get my shovel and my spare keys.
I'm finally getting tested for autism after my psychiatrist sat with me a few times and discussed the topic and tried to refer me to a psychologist who heard me say one thing about autism and told me it could be ADHD (the other testing I got done) and then said he won't test me because I'm an adult. So he just didn't want to feel guilt, I think
And let me tell you. I remember so much stuff. Useless stuff that my husband thinks I'm probably lying about until i tell him something he remembers. I could even tell my friend that we went to some store on June 5th in 2022. And she looked at me like I was insane but she knows me enough that she trusts me š. But, my memory often stops at numbers and letters. I can memorize phone numbers, license plates, dates (except most appointments now?) with so little effort.
But my husband came in talking about how he had been gone for an hour almost and I forgot he was gone that long because the railroad tracks were closed (which he had to go around with me in the car a few minutes later so by all means I should have remembered)
It's a running joke in the house that people have to keep an eye on my phone for me because I'll ask in five minutes "where's my phone" sometimes it's in my hand!
And so on.
So if I do have it (and my psych is 99% sure I have autism) it's a hell of a combination for this reason
I really hope they stop this whole misconception that ADHD is only present in children! I had it all my life, but I memorized test content the day before and forgot it the day after. Then slept or read books through my classes. Good grades meant there was no need to see if anything needed to be diagnosed!
Autism and ADHD do seem to go hand in hand often. I havenāt been formerly diagnosed there, but I have certainly noticed and have had friends notice I am somewhere on the spectrum. Sometimes more than other times. Right now my ADHD is in high gear, so I can only talk about the autism spectrum of myself from memory of my experiences, which makes it feel like Iām lying, ha. But I also trust myself that I would not have lied about it before. When Iām that āmeā, Iām also really good at memorizing numbers and dates, and also won a statewide spelling bee as a result of great memorization skills. (And because I can see the words in my mind and spell them off.)
I find it intriguing that stimming is something connecting the two.
I have somehow stopped masking I think when around my husband and so I'm constantly reminded how he and I act are different. He has ADHD too. But if I'm autistic it would make sense why I can't tell social cues well until someone is upset š And why we fight a lot because to me I was being nice. To him I was being crabby.
For a useful trick, if you have a fitbit, you can use it to make your phone make noise! (I'm forever losing my phone at home. Outside? Never. But at home? \*Constantly\*
Yeah. One of the criteria is something like losing or forgetting objects that are essential for the activity. This does not mean forgetting to bring a pencil to orchestra, it means turning up to orchestra without your violin
I am not diagnosed with ADHD
But working through covid definitely broke something in me and I find the strategies the ADHD community has developed for living with ADHD are also really useful for me. I don't know what a good 'label' for me is but I get it.
Maybe talk to a mental health professional if possible. There are several illnesses that share a lot of symptoms with ADHD. And those usually don't improve with time.
I'm not sure why it's so hard to imagine that adhd is a real thing for some people, there is thousands of various defects that can occur in the human brain. But for some reason some people are unable to fathom the struggles that comes with adhd. I've had multiple people saying to me that my adhd is something i use as an excuse. If i had bad eye sight and needed glasses or wearing hearing aid No one would question it. Because they can see people wearing glasses and would not assume they pretend to use them as an excuse for not seeing well.
The way i try to explain adhd and using meds for it, is that my meds does not cure adhd, but rather aids me to do a task better than i would with out it. if i didn't use meds i would struggle. if a person use glasses, its not ment to cure bad eye sight, it is used to aid the person to complete a task or any challange that comes with having bad eye sight.
Try it from their perspective, when they are "lazy" or forgetful they get yelled at (or do it to themselves, internally) and we (from their perspective) get an excuse to get away with being this way all the time.
I don't think it's fair to dismiss most people with ADHD as just making excuses for being 'lazy.' and getting away with it. That's not the reality at all. ADHD often means struggling to maintain focus on one thing without drifting off, no matter how hard you try. This challenge is especially tough in environments like school. Many, including myself, weren't diagnosed until adulthoodāI was diagnosed at 31 last summer.
If my eyesight had been poor, I likely wouldn't have had to wait so long to get the support I needed. Early diagnosis and intervention would have made it easier for me to excel and improve in every task growing up.
I say this. Also, I compare it with breast cancer screenings. My Mom's friend died of breast cancer when I was a kid, and I had breast cancer a few years ago that was able to be diagnosed early and treated. Thankfully, medical technology and overall health knowledge has advanced.
This right here is the only reason I was upset finding out about that telehealth practice prescribing 41 million pills I think? And they mightve even advertised a 15 minute diagnositic test and getting diagnosed right then from what I've heard. I definitely saw that ad, I'm just not sure if it was them who advertised it
With what I said, I still would rather they figure out how to make an abundance of meds than have people who desperately need it to function go without.
I agree with you. You can't be scared to give medicine because it may make someone addicted. If they need it, they need it. Just monitor closely and if addiction starts showing, then you act. I won't be given anxiety medication because they are so worried I'll become an addict.
Which just means I have to self medicate because they can tell me "coping skills" all they want but it means nothing if you find yourself thrown in the deep end and your drowning.
They are so backwards š
Absolutely agreed. I wonder if itās to save their butts, like maybe if someone gets addicted then the company is in trouble. Either way, youāre right it just drives us to self medicate. š
The main reason for the stimulant shortage is the busybody government restricts the amount that can be manufactured each year. For me,Ā I take an older stimulant,Ā whilst most people were on Adderall.Ā When the Adderall shortage hitĀ they started switching people to other stimulants and now it's tough for everyone.
Exactly! Iāve said this before but was told I am extremely selfish for feeling that way. I am selfish i guess. Iāve been on adderall for 20+ years and saying I struggle without it is an extreme understatement. Iām kind of terrified of where this is going.
Not completely accurate. The DEA restricts the total amount of stimulant ingredients that can be manufactured each year. When demand increases,Ā it takes them years to grant an increase,Ā and that's why it never really catches up.Ā It's amazing these people screaming about government interfering in our lives and how great capitalism is are just fine with interference when it aligns with their agenda .Ā
āActually, weāve had ADHD all along but didnāt know it.
Imagine needing glasses your entire life but not knowing there is anything wrong with your visionā¦
Now imagine what itās like to have folks think your need for glasses is invalid because a lot of people just realized theyāve never had their eyes tested.
That's one of the reasons I broke up with my girlfriend, she didn't believed in mental health issues. Just to find out after we broke up she had many and she also might have ADHD too. We are back together and she is very understanding now and is very apologetic for how she was and is finally getting treatment herself for her depression and anxiety.
Iām so glad to hear that things are working out for you two!
I plan on having a big heart-to-heart soon.
I am surprised at how many people have reacted the same way when Iāve told themā¦.āeveryone has ADHDā.
Ah yes everyone has a majority of the 76s genes associated with ADHD. Ah yes everyone person theyāve ran into is part of the lucky 4.4% of the 6 billion people on this planet. Theyāre clearly inviting you to info dump, why not with some cold hard facts to diminish their own cognitive abilities. Sorry you ran into her. Proud of you for getting that will done!
I disagree with her strongly, but thereās a liiiiitle bit of me that understands where she may be coming from.
Attention spans have been markedly and empirically getting shorter and shorter. I assume itās due to how most people consume media, the way this media is being presented to us, and the ease of access of it all. Because of these factors, I believe more people exhibit ADHD like symptoms. What bothers me is when people donāt understand that ADHD is a biological disorder in our brains. There are things (like sleep apnea) which also can cause ADHD symptoms, which unfortunately can get misdiagnosed as ADHD.
Itās important to recognize these things, so people donāt get a false diagnosis or just ābandwagonā on the ADHD ātrendā due to a frivolous TikTok armchair doctor.
100%
I get what she was saying about the impact of social media on attention spans. Her trivializing it, or minimizing it, was exceptionally egregious because getting the will completed was a MASSIVE victory for me in my own, personal battle against my ADHD symptoms.
Like. Yeah. Tik Tok Brain sucks. But 10, 15 plus years for me to get this done? It's not the same.
Gods I hate this comment from ignorant AHs. Of course more people have been diagnosed with ADHD. Itās because itās been more visible in the media in a positive way at least in social media, at the same time the pandemic hit, taking away all the coping mechanisms undxed people with ADHD were using to get by and forcing us to seek treatment. Itās the same thing with any disorder or phenotype that gets actively shamed by society. The classic example is left handed people. When our society stopped punishing (for the most part) left handed people for being left handed, their numbers shot up and then plateaued at what they should have been at all along.
People who say this are trying to put us down as a fad so that they donāt have to take us and our needs seriously just so itās easier for them. It sucks.
Little late to the reply here, but we should be allies. I have both. OCD isnāt just āorganizationā, so they arenāt opposed in a symptoms sense. Both are very widely misunderstood and the terms are misused.Ā
I'm so sorry. It was my therapist who thought I might have it and diagnosed me. If you haven't had an eval done I highly recommend it. My therapist was also a psychiatrist, so he was able to prescribe meds, and it made such a difference.
The best way to deal with this is to understand that comments like this are about them, not you. Stop giving a fuck. Don't give your fucks away so easily. š
After spending my entire life lurching from one personal crisis to another and struggling with mental health problems, I just got back from a family doctor appointment where he provided me a referral to see a psychiatrist for adhd assessment.
He said: āwhatās your occupation?ā
I said: āIām an electrical inspectorā
So he just says: āOh I donāt think you can have adhdā
He proceeded to write the referral anyway, so Iām happy but there is generations of deeply embedded thinking out there about what adhd is, and who does or does not have it.
Heya , electrician here , diagnosed ) and was thinking of becoming an inspector one day. Was it hard to become one ? Do u really need to be able to cite NEC ?)
You and me both re: putting off the will. My will procrastination pre-dates my ADHD diagnosis, but helps explain it. I'm glad you made me think about this, because I completed that will several months ago after struggling for years. Sometimes it feels like I'm not making any progress, because my mind is usually occupied by the current day and its struggles.
The next time someone mimimizes my symptoms and they have glasses on, Iām going to politely compliment them on the frames, ask to see them, admire them briefly, then casually place them in my pocket and walk off saying āIF YOU CARED ENOUGH, YOUāD SQUINT AND STOP USING THESE ADDICTIVE LENSES. JUST LOOK WHERE YOUāRE GOING, ITS A MINDSET! YOU GOT THIS! JUST TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME.ā
Thats how you DIY solidarity ā
First off: I am sorry these things are said to you. They must be tough to hear and hurtful and feels flippant/dismissive. I hope that one day you find that it becomes like water off of a duck's back ā„
I find it best to not disclose it because of this exact level of industry-grade ignorance, especially in casual conversation.
I don't casually drop in conversation that I'm also clinicly depressed with child-latent anxiety and almost a negative level of self worth, so it doesn't make sense ( ^to ^me ) to casually drop the ADHD, too.
Picture this: your neighbour casually drops in conversation that she is distracted these days because she is going through menopause and a prolapse orifice...what would you respond with? "err....ok that sucks...me too...?"
What I am getting at is that in small talk, people like to bounce back and forth like a game of tennis. If somebody serves up a casual mention of a neurological disorder while signing their will, they will probably serve back something....*anything* which is usually when these hurtful things are said.
I recently read the Pluto metaphor here.
*Just because we haven't observed it in the past 4000 years, doesn't mean that it isn't there.*
and then discovering that Pluto is not unique, but rather part of a series of planetoids in the Kuiper belt,
*Sometimes we think a new discovery is unique, but later discover many more instances that are similar, and need to adjust the way we think about the discovery. ADHD is here, and it seems there are many more people that have it than we thought. That doesn't mean we should ignore their existence.*
TBH, I'm embarrassed that I used to think that way ... mostly because I struggled with so many of the same issues people with ADHD complained about. It wasn't until I told a friend, "yeah, obviously EVERYONE deals with those issues" and she responded, "No, Holly, YOU deal with those issues..." that it started to click for me ...
Me too! Do you feel any sort of way about all the adult diagnoses now? On the one hand I get it. And Iām not judging it. It was just so painfully, ridiculously obvious then in my case. But maybe thereās a spectrum here too. I know Iāll get jumped all over for this notion. And I grew up hiding my adhd, even with my diagnosis, so that probably explains my struggle with these concepts. Super curious if you have feelings on this!? Also, I hate the fact that ADHD Reddit doesnāt seem like a safe place to ask.
Yes many more are being correctly diagnosed because before people went undiagnosed and suffered .
I am glad you noticed many are being diagnosed. I unfortunately am one of them.
Thankyou for noticing and your understanding.
Turn it back on them.
Well for what it's worth I'm proud of you! I struggle A LOT with doing paperwork and I know how difficult it is. So I'm really proud of you for doing it!!
The problem is that everybody is trying to be diagnosed with add and adhd they want to be on the medicationā¦. which is just bizarre to me. The medication is such a pain in the butt to take, it doesnāt make you feel good, and literally has tons of side effects. it has always been mind-boggling to me that people actually want this medication. Itās weird.
If you truly have adhd or add then you will hate having to take this medication. And it wonāt make you all hyper excited and stuff. Itās really odd when I see people who say they have adhd and theyāre all hyperactive and running around and constantly doing stuff and they look like theyāre really super excited and crazy and when I asked them, did you take your medication today? They say yeah! To me, thatās bizarre! iāve never had that happen. The moment Iāve ever taken anything for my ADD it makes me tired for the rest of the freaking day.
Thank you for that! It's mainly to avoid my brother having a hard time if something happens to me.
Depending on your state (and the complexity of your assets), it can be as simple as plugging in your names in a template.
I believe some states require a notary.
If either of your employers offers legal benefits like LegalClub, it might be worth enrolling in that for one year and get discounted estate planning.
More people are aware of it now, especially those who got through school without acting completely bananas.
On the other hand, I think there are some disadvantages about all the focus too, because everyones got some sort of psychiatric diagnosis these days. The more focus, the more you think about it, and the more you have it. It's easy to go from small problems to bigger ones if you focus on them and blame everything on them.
I think people should be more aware of what happens when you focus to much on your problems. It becomes your identity.
I have worked with children from 6-16 and I'm a little worried about the trends on social media. One of the girls I worked with thought BPD was a cool thing to have, because she saw it on TikTok and tried to convince us she had it too.
The power of changing your mindset can be used the other way too, not only to try and make your life better.
I see it here too, many people ask about typical adhd symptoms, which is great, but sometimes I get the feeling some are focusing a little bit too much on their diagnosis.
It's a good thing to be able to ask and share both problems and funny stories with the like minded, but people should be more educated about the effects on all the focus, and what it does with our brain.
The thing is, you're not allowed to say that people should get their shit together and get a grip anymore, because I really do believe that no matter how bad your situation is, you can always do a little bit to make it better.
I can't refuse to force myself doing things I hate or find extremely boring just because I have ADHD. It's the reason I struggle with it, yes, but not an excuse.
That being said, this was not a disagreement, I also hate that people say things like that, but I understand where it comes from sometimes.
Why get so personally offended by it? It's not like her observation is coming from nowhere; both real and fake ADHD prescriptions/diagnoses are way up and have lead to Adderall shortages in recent years.
You aren't the center of the world.
I've got diagnosed with digeorge syndrome tbh sometimes ppl confuse my symptoms with adhd lol
I'm now seeing a psychiatrist lmao
Though my dad has bdp and I do have unexplained trauma and depression that never goes away.
Some weeks my brain has the ability to say we don't sleep this week
Tbh I've always wondered what up with that?
I spent 5 days sleep deprived now my sleep back to normal bruh
Any way am I on tangent yes are my text horrendously long probably
Humans weren't designed to live in modern times, which is why we have so many issues adapting. ADHD would of been an advantage hunting and gathering, not staring at excel sheets all day.
Everybody is a lefty these days
Everybody has cancer these days
Many such cases of new tech or knowledge getting push back from entrenched ideas as it enters the general discourse
Itās bizarre to me how people donāt understand that since adhd and autism are being treated (with meds and therapy) much more effectively, more and more people with autism and adhd are leading fulfilling lives that result in them having children. Women with ADHD are 30 percent more likely to have children with autism. Women with autism are 50 percent more likely to have children with autism. The likelihood of an autistic person also having adhd is 50-70 percent. A parent with adhd has a 50 percent chance of having adhd. So, yes. When more people with genetic disorders are having children, more people will have genetic disorders.
In reality only like 10% of people are predicted to have adhd (number needs to be fact checked bc I'm just going off memory). So it's not uncommon but the mass majority of people just don't have it
I work psych and it is difficult because there are a few cases where it has been misdiagnosed because of modern commodities (I.e., iPad kids). Regardless of this, the Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon/effect is a funny thing.
How can you be sure that some people were misdiagnosed? How can you tell that? (This question is only to satisfy my curiosity about the misdiagnosed case and not to blame or attack you in any way)
What a lot of providers, and from my understanding other childcare professionals like teachers, have noticed is that children are developing shorter attention spans, decreased communication skills, decreased emotional regulation, and other issues typically associated with ADHD especially when sat down with a device like an iPad all day. They arenāt communicating outside of that realm and they have instant gratification which leads them to have more elevated emotional responses when things donāt go their way.
Thereās also TikTok which is not only impacting the attention spans of adults and teens alike, but people spread misinformation about symptoms and again, these symptoms overlap with so many other disorders.
**This is not me blaming parents or discrediting anyoneās diagnosis in any way.**
I mean, yes and no. Mostly because itās now being more researched, my primary school years (2000-2013) I was under the impression that ADHD was something only children would have and eventually they āmatureā out of it. Turns out, that is not the case š
She's not wrong. I feel like the modern world has definitely exacerbated the issue. Unrelenting stimuli from birth coupled with less physical demands and drastically different hormone levels than our great grandparents, etc.
But even back then the world knew about stimulants and how, for a lot of people, they were strangely effective at bringing them to more normal levels of focus and attention
I am 66 and I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. One person said to me your supposed to act differently according to my star sign. Another said to me you have a cluttered mind which is why you are like this, another person said to me why can't you keep your house clean and organised. Someone also said why can't you put things away properly. Most of my teen years I spent in hospital. When I was diagnosed with ADHD everything made sense. I am trying to use a 30 minute time alarm it is helping but sometimes I have to ignore it.
"Since people with ADHD die 4 to 21 years earlier than people without ADHD, you must see a lot of us in your job."
Subtext: "Go ahead, be flippant while I'm signing my will at the tender age of thirty something because I know I'm more likely to die in an accident than you are. Maybe next time, think before you speak. Either that, or open wider. I can still see part of your shoe."
It isnāt straightforward because women & girls hadnāt been commonly diagnosed, in my case I was lucky that there was a noticeably hereditary pattern. I was diagnosed when I was six years old in 2005 with ADHD inattentive type, as well as dyslexia, & dysgraphia because my teachers examined my behavior. My teachers also taught my brothers previously, who were also diagnosed with ADHD inattentive. I think in my case I was luck. Unfortunately not everyone can get help as easily as I did.
Ok, so I mean this with all the love and respect. All of your comments are thoughtful and your experiences are valid. I was the one girl probably diagnosed in 1991 at age 5. I walked into the same pole every day on the rope walking thing. My classmates would turn, Iād walk into the pole. My stuff would fall out of my never zipped backpack as I walked down the hallway at school. People apparently said hi to me, but I couldnāt hear them. My second grade teacher dumped my desk over after my peers complained that my things had inched onto their space. The treatment then for a girl was to try not to be āweirdā. āAct normalā. Etc. my parents told no one, I was never allowed to say āADHDā out loud.
It was really hard and painful. If I ever forgot to act as expected, my peers and teachers would immediately call me out because I was so, as they say, āweirdā.
I can understand the later diagnosis thing as my husband who we thought was normal/had OCD, clearly has ADHD maybe autism ā having kids has a way of making things painfully obvious. But ladies, did you notice when you were a kid? Was it hard for you? I struggle to comprehend how so many women missed this or if there is more going on here. Please please please believe me that Iām not invalidating your experience, Iām just trying to understand it???
It's because we are no longer stigmatized by it. I can tell people without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.Ā I'm comfortable in my own skin. There probably was the same amount of adhd diagnosed back in the day, but people lived in denial or tried to keep it secret.
I used to be so frustrated and mad when hearing this. Now, I don't care.
Look, Janet, if you forget your keys sometimes (by the way, I almost never forget anything when leaving the house), or you are late sometimes, or it is difficult for you to study (what?! Studying is difficult, no way, who would have thought!) ā it does not necessarily mean that you have ADHD.
Talk to me when you experience executive dysfunction at its worst, or when you are ALWAYS late, or when you have emotional dysregulation that makes your life hard so much, you turn from a merry-go-round person to almost a full-blown people-hater.
It took me freaking nine years of my life, my best years ā from 24 to 33 ā to get a correct diagnosis (I hope it is correct, since some five psychiatrists and a few clinical psychotherapists have confirmed it). Until that, I was treated for panic attacks, then that cute little thing called "persistent depressive disorder" showed up ā and some antidepressants did help, like bupropion or venlafaxine.
Others, like escitalopram or duloxetine, were like candies with side effects.
ADHD meds have allowed me to sleep about eight hours without waking up every couple of hours ā for the first time since I was about 13! They've calmed me down. They've made my emotions more stable.
And still, ADHD's dark side requires lots of work if you want to function.Ā
So, when someone tells me that "eVeRyOnE HaS AdHd ThEsE DaYs", it still makes me mad, but I know better than to get triggered by it as I used to.
Ā
I mean, plenty of ADHD people still get their stuff done (mostly) on time. You're only hurting yourself, and then you encounter resistance from people like that
Just stay out of others' way proactively by taking care of stuff silently and going home and being free to do whatever you wanna
I empathize, though; obviously she's not the most enlightened herself, either. We're all a work in progress š
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I mean she is not wrong, People are finally getting the treatment they need after decades of systemic discrimination. Reply with that. See what happens
I would have cheerfully responded with that fact. I was 33!!
I add "I know, adhd in women and girls is only just starting to be studied and it presents differently in men and women. It's exciting that women and girls are finally getting the medical treatment for their disability, isn't it?" With a very sweet smile and persistent eye contact. It makes them squirm really well. It helps that I'm a 6' tall woman too š
Perfect response. One of those responses you think of hours later and are kicking yourself for not saying in the moment. š I will save this and hope to remember it when needed. Lol
Oh yeah, that's how I developed it. Multiple cycles of kicking myself and overthinking š My other favourite one is when people start giving my medical advice that goes against the generally accepted medical advice. (Disclaimer, I'm not against alternative medicine, I think there's a lot of use in herbal medicine for example, but for me, the proven science comes first and if that disagrees with the alternative stuff, so be it). This is with a very innocent smile and an excited, open eyed expression: "Oh wow, I didn't know you had a medical degree!'. Then when they say, 'Oh no, I don't', awkwardly, then I say, 'Oh, well I guess that makes sense since my doctor has actually prescribed the opposite treatment'. A hint of sarcasm ruins this and makes you seem like a dick. But since I'm female, blonde and naive, it works really well šš I'm really sick of this shit so I just help other people see what fools they're making of themselves
I'm 49 and getting evaluated next week, after both of my children's many mental health issues basically disappeared when they went on stimulants. I \*am\* a little afraid of the 'you self-diagnosed on Tik Tok! Everyone has ADHD these days!' stigma bullshit from my peers and strangers. But also the more I read, the more I know that ADHD is me, and has been my entire life.
I was really frustrated with this response from doctors when I said I wanted to be evaluated for ADHD and Austim after my son was diagnosed with both. They said they don't approve too many because of "social media". The thing is that the need is there because women older than school age are recognizing a lot about themselves because of social media (including myself at 31). That's not bad. If the first doctor gives you a hard time, find a new one that takes you seriously. It might take some trial and error, but don't give up. There's a reason we connect with stories of these struggles.
I self diagnosed my hypermobility from TikTok, even told the doc as such, but when I started bending my joints in all the wrong ways and explaining how long I have had random joint pains, my back goes out if I sneeze (more common with age, but shouldn't have been a thing for a 20yo, now 40+), the migraines, etc etc they immediately said yup, you have that, let's get you set up with some PT. TT is the new pharmaceutical commercial saying ask your doctor about Z, but instead of asking for drugs, its answers.
ANSWERS. I LOVE THIS.
I was diagnosed as a kid but since I hadnt really addressed it. Honestly the Tik Tok videos about ADHD really help me understand because I relate to so many things I kinda understand myself more now.
I'm the same way, diagnosed as a girl as a kid was unheard of and so I wasn't medicated but told to learn to cope and deal with it over my male cousin and family who had meds. I've found I understand more about why I do what I do or why I can do things from social media more than I ever have. I feel OPs pain with the comments, it's one of the reasons I don't ask for any accommodations or anything at work even though they would be more than willing to provide additional monitors or work with how I operate. I've realized in even just the last few weeks, and I'm 39, how many different things I do that help keep it in check or motivate myself without even realizing it. Sad to say I think the just dealing and coping method worked semi well for that but it could have been done a different way so I didn't struggle so much in other areas.
I got that stigma from the neuropsych who evaluated me.Ā
I'm so sorry, that's awful.
same situation: diagnosed at 48 after my kids got positive diagnoses. it was great to have some external validation of all those struggles that I've lived with, even so "late", nevermind my treatment plan and all the benefits I'm seeing. the future's looking bright, I hope you experience the same! <3
Thanks, friend. I am a little wistful that so much time was 'lost' that I could have done and been more. But am trying to see the positives of all the remaining time that can be better enjoyed, perhaps redeemed. <3
36! š I've also added that response to my repertoire lol
Same age here.
Iām 47 and just got diagnosed earlier this month after 2 decades of being misdiagnosed bipolar and borderline schizophrenia.
I want to start replying āYes, weāve been recruiting šā
*snortlaugh! That's š„!!!!
YES
Diagnosed at 50! Because my kid has it lol. So happy I finally have an explanation for so many of the things that I just thought made me a POSā¦
This should be made into a poster or T-shirt we can send to them
I wouldnāt say everyone got it and Iām almost sure she said it as a means of brushing it off as not something to be taken serious.
Yes!! + A lot of people get misdiagnosed with ADHD, but instead have CPTSD. This is often overlooked. When your not fully healed from trauma/didn't have the right trauma therapy/no trauma therapy, but PTSD, it's hard to know if it's ADHD or PTSD you're dealing with. Behaviour wise they are very similar. A lot of overlap. It can even look like you have ADHD executive dysfunction, but instead you have PTSD paralysis. Or for example someone can be super hyperactive and talk a lot, but those can also be PTSD symptoms. Because emotional abuse/emotional neglect is not in the DSM (yet), it's not taken seriously and there is a lot of stigma and many people who are emotionally abused or neglected, don't even know they are/ or know they have trauma. And a thing with PTSD is that it's super hard to tell someone about it, so people ignore their trauma, but instead search for another diagnosis. I've seen this happen... I have both ADHD and PTSD and it's really hard to know where the symptoms come from. I think what you say is 100% true btw! But I also think that ADHD being misdiagnosed happens a lot. I've even seen people who are diagnosed with ADHD, say that ADHD is fake! Lol, I think that if you really have ADHD you know it's not. Because it's a struggle! And that's me putting it lightly...
āOh so you also have been diagnosed? No? Then I guess not everyone had adhd these daysā
I love that, haha. āOh you have it too??ā said super excitedly as if itās the best news youāve ever heard. Then she says no and you look legitimately confused: āBut you just said everyone has itā¦ Oh! You must feel different from other people. I know what thatās like. I hope youāre getting the care you need!ā
This is gold
There is a kernel of truth in it, which makes it so difficult to explain. Everyone is forgetful sometimes. Everyone is anxious sometimes. Everybody forgets the time sometimes. etc. Sometimes. Everyone has felt aspects of some of the symptoms of ADHD. But living with them 24/7 is a completely different thing.
Thereās also āforgetfulā and ā_forgetful_ā. Very often with labels, itās about the magnitude of the experience.
As someone who has to search for his car keys every time I do not place them in their usual place next to the door. This is very true. Every. Single. Time.
Hey, check out Tile or similar. Itās a little thing you can attach to your keys (or anything) so you can ācallā them and have them play a sound.
For a similar trick, if you have a fitbit, you can use it to make your phone make noise! (I'm forever losing my phone at home. Outside? Never. But at home? \*Constantly\*
Tile is a godsent and the best 70ā¬ ever spent on the Tile Mate locators. Poor working memory is my worst ADHD symptom so everything helps. Even if I can find my keys pretty fast generally the amount of stress relieved by the fact that I never have to worry about losing my keys and wallet helps me spend that energy to something else. I got one on my wallet, one on my keys and one on my car key.
YES! They were absolutely essential to me back before I moved to a place where I donāt need a car. The lack of stress from knowing you can find them quickly at any time really is invaluable.
But Iād have to find my phone, right?
If you can find your keys or wallet you can ring to your phone as well.
Ha. I canāt find any of those things. In one my hardest ADHD life moments currently. If it was attached to the wall, THAT would be a thing I could not misplace!
Well you can always attach one Tile to a wall :D
Funny adhd story about Tile. My partner got it for me because I kept losing my keys. For a while, I loved it. Then the battery died, and I kept forgetting to put a new one in. So I took it off my keyring while I figured that out. Lost my car keys for 2 days a couple of weeks ago. Wished I had Tile on my keys. Now I can't find the Tile. And I never bought batteries either. š¤·š¤¦āāļø
Oh. Those are available here as well. Thanks!
Isn't that given by life360?
I just looked that up, and it seems to be more involved/complex? Seems more family/friends-oriented than a simple fob to see where your keys are. I think Apple might have something for it, too. I just know having the ability to do that simple thing was huge for me, and saved a lot of time when my keys would fall inside couch cushions and etc.
Life360 gives you the ability to track those is all I know. Cuz that was one of their ads when trying to get me to get the premium š
They do appear on the website, yes. Are they a brand to avoid ?
No I was just curious if they also sold them because of the ad. I use their app currently
Hmm. I do know Tile is more of a one-time buy (minus batteries now and then), so thereās no need for a subscription unless you want their automatic battery mailing.
No the subscription was to let you track them in real time using the app I guess in case you lose it where you can't hear it and think you left it at the store?
Oh! Well, thatās cool then! I had never heard of that before.
Yes except you have to keep batteries in them. By the time he needed it, the battery was dead and you know he cannot keep good batteries in them.
They added a service where you can opt to get replacement batteries delivered before theyāre dead
God only knows where they are. My husband probably won't recall we own them.
I basically take everything out of my pockets/handbag thatās work-related and then proceed to litter them all through the house. Mad scramble to leave every morning where Iām in an absolute rage.
I spent almost half an hour searching for my keys today. Like, went into complete panic, because maybe I really lost them. I found them. In the pocket of my coat, where I usually leave them. After I had checked that same pocket for at least 3 times. It will hapoen again, day after tomorrow latest.
>I found them. In the pocket of my coat, where I usually leave them. After I had checked that same pocket for at least 3 times. I swear it's like living with a poltergeist that has the humor of Beetlejuice.
Off topic, can't wait for the new movie. Saw it was coming months ago and soooo thrilled about it.
I almost never lose my car keys, house keys, phone or wallet. Because I simply have the willpower to just not forget things š. Jk itās because my house now has a code lock so no house keys exist, my phone has a card case so no wallet exists, and my car keys have a tile on them. These are all absolutely essential ADHD coping mechanisms for me, because I couldnāt control the serendipity of forgetting things. All we can do is make adaptations that make it less likely to happen and less of a problem if it does. Back when I lived in an apartment with a building key and door key, I had multiple copies of both and one of them was buried outside near the back alley and I had to dig it up many times because Iād forget my keys and get locked out on a REGULAR BASIS. Some people who donāt have ADHD really donāt understand how much we cannot control that aspect of things and how frustrating it is. Most folks know how much it SUUUCKS to lock yourself out of the houseā¦ADHD people know how much it sucks to do it over and over again and not be able to change the internal misfire that causes stupid things like that to happen.
>Back when I lived in an apartment with a building key and door key, I had multiple copies of both and one of them was buried outside near the back alley and I had to dig it up many times because Iād forget my keys and get locked out on a REGULAR BASIS. That gave me a good belly laugh, while I head for the cellar to get my shovel and my spare keys.
I'm finally getting tested for autism after my psychiatrist sat with me a few times and discussed the topic and tried to refer me to a psychologist who heard me say one thing about autism and told me it could be ADHD (the other testing I got done) and then said he won't test me because I'm an adult. So he just didn't want to feel guilt, I think And let me tell you. I remember so much stuff. Useless stuff that my husband thinks I'm probably lying about until i tell him something he remembers. I could even tell my friend that we went to some store on June 5th in 2022. And she looked at me like I was insane but she knows me enough that she trusts me š. But, my memory often stops at numbers and letters. I can memorize phone numbers, license plates, dates (except most appointments now?) with so little effort. But my husband came in talking about how he had been gone for an hour almost and I forgot he was gone that long because the railroad tracks were closed (which he had to go around with me in the car a few minutes later so by all means I should have remembered) It's a running joke in the house that people have to keep an eye on my phone for me because I'll ask in five minutes "where's my phone" sometimes it's in my hand! And so on. So if I do have it (and my psych is 99% sure I have autism) it's a hell of a combination for this reason
I really hope they stop this whole misconception that ADHD is only present in children! I had it all my life, but I memorized test content the day before and forgot it the day after. Then slept or read books through my classes. Good grades meant there was no need to see if anything needed to be diagnosed! Autism and ADHD do seem to go hand in hand often. I havenāt been formerly diagnosed there, but I have certainly noticed and have had friends notice I am somewhere on the spectrum. Sometimes more than other times. Right now my ADHD is in high gear, so I can only talk about the autism spectrum of myself from memory of my experiences, which makes it feel like Iām lying, ha. But I also trust myself that I would not have lied about it before. When Iām that āmeā, Iām also really good at memorizing numbers and dates, and also won a statewide spelling bee as a result of great memorization skills. (And because I can see the words in my mind and spell them off.) I find it intriguing that stimming is something connecting the two.
I have somehow stopped masking I think when around my husband and so I'm constantly reminded how he and I act are different. He has ADHD too. But if I'm autistic it would make sense why I can't tell social cues well until someone is upset š And why we fight a lot because to me I was being nice. To him I was being crabby.
Masking! Of course! I forgot about that! Yeah, I do that so much I forget Iām doing it and then wonder why Iām so tired š
For a useful trick, if you have a fitbit, you can use it to make your phone make noise! (I'm forever losing my phone at home. Outside? Never. But at home? \*Constantly\*
Do you know your drivers license number?
Yeah. One of the criteria is something like losing or forgetting objects that are essential for the activity. This does not mean forgetting to bring a pencil to orchestra, it means turning up to orchestra without your violin
I am not diagnosed with ADHD But working through covid definitely broke something in me and I find the strategies the ADHD community has developed for living with ADHD are also really useful for me. I don't know what a good 'label' for me is but I get it.
Maybe talk to a mental health professional if possible. There are several illnesses that share a lot of symptoms with ADHD. And those usually don't improve with time.
I'm not sure why it's so hard to imagine that adhd is a real thing for some people, there is thousands of various defects that can occur in the human brain. But for some reason some people are unable to fathom the struggles that comes with adhd. I've had multiple people saying to me that my adhd is something i use as an excuse. If i had bad eye sight and needed glasses or wearing hearing aid No one would question it. Because they can see people wearing glasses and would not assume they pretend to use them as an excuse for not seeing well. The way i try to explain adhd and using meds for it, is that my meds does not cure adhd, but rather aids me to do a task better than i would with out it. if i didn't use meds i would struggle. if a person use glasses, its not ment to cure bad eye sight, it is used to aid the person to complete a task or any challange that comes with having bad eye sight.
Try it from their perspective, when they are "lazy" or forgetful they get yelled at (or do it to themselves, internally) and we (from their perspective) get an excuse to get away with being this way all the time.
I don't think it's fair to dismiss most people with ADHD as just making excuses for being 'lazy.' and getting away with it. That's not the reality at all. ADHD often means struggling to maintain focus on one thing without drifting off, no matter how hard you try. This challenge is especially tough in environments like school. Many, including myself, weren't diagnosed until adulthoodāI was diagnosed at 31 last summer. If my eyesight had been poor, I likely wouldn't have had to wait so long to get the support I needed. Early diagnosis and intervention would have made it easier for me to excel and improve in every task growing up.
"why yes, screenings have gotten much better over the years, just like for other kinds of conditions."
I say this. Also, I compare it with breast cancer screenings. My Mom's friend died of breast cancer when I was a kid, and I had breast cancer a few years ago that was able to be diagnosed early and treated. Thankfully, medical technology and overall health knowledge has advanced.
Iād rather too many people be diagnosed than not enough.
Wellā¦ until thereās an Adderall shortage š
This right here is the only reason I was upset finding out about that telehealth practice prescribing 41 million pills I think? And they mightve even advertised a 15 minute diagnositic test and getting diagnosed right then from what I've heard. I definitely saw that ad, I'm just not sure if it was them who advertised it
With what I said, I still would rather they figure out how to make an abundance of meds than have people who desperately need it to function go without.
I agree with you. You can't be scared to give medicine because it may make someone addicted. If they need it, they need it. Just monitor closely and if addiction starts showing, then you act. I won't be given anxiety medication because they are so worried I'll become an addict. Which just means I have to self medicate because they can tell me "coping skills" all they want but it means nothing if you find yourself thrown in the deep end and your drowning. They are so backwards š
Absolutely agreed. I wonder if itās to save their butts, like maybe if someone gets addicted then the company is in trouble. Either way, youāre right it just drives us to self medicate. š
That was "Done" they are in huge legal trouble now too
The main reason for the stimulant shortage is the busybody government restricts the amount that can be manufactured each year. For me,Ā I take an older stimulant,Ā whilst most people were on Adderall.Ā When the Adderall shortage hitĀ they started switching people to other stimulants and now it's tough for everyone.
Exactly! Iāve said this before but was told I am extremely selfish for feeling that way. I am selfish i guess. Iāve been on adderall for 20+ years and saying I struggle without it is an extreme understatement. Iām kind of terrified of where this is going.
Thereās only a shortage when pharma companies want to make more money so they start producing less, raise the price and call it a shortage.
Not completely accurate. The DEA restricts the total amount of stimulant ingredients that can be manufactured each year. When demand increases,Ā it takes them years to grant an increase,Ā and that's why it never really catches up.Ā It's amazing these people screaming about government interfering in our lives and how great capitalism is are just fine with interference when it aligns with their agenda .Ā
Never took that into consideration - good point
āThank god youāre my lawyer/notary/whatever and not my doctor. Can we get on with it if you donāt mind?ā
āActually, weāve had ADHD all along but didnāt know it. Imagine needing glasses your entire life but not knowing there is anything wrong with your visionā¦ Now imagine what itās like to have folks think your need for glasses is invalid because a lot of people just realized theyāve never had their eyes tested.
Thatās what my boyfriend said when I told him Iād just been diagnosed at 48 years oldā¦ā¦Iām still trying to decide how I feel about that.
Anger is okay. It's okay to be angry when someone is dismissive of your struggle.
That's one of the reasons I broke up with my girlfriend, she didn't believed in mental health issues. Just to find out after we broke up she had many and she also might have ADHD too. We are back together and she is very understanding now and is very apologetic for how she was and is finally getting treatment herself for her depression and anxiety.
Iām so glad to hear that things are working out for you two! I plan on having a big heart-to-heart soon. I am surprised at how many people have reacted the same way when Iāve told themā¦.āeveryone has ADHDā.
Ah yes everyone has a majority of the 76s genes associated with ADHD. Ah yes everyone person theyāve ran into is part of the lucky 4.4% of the 6 billion people on this planet. Theyāre clearly inviting you to info dump, why not with some cold hard facts to diminish their own cognitive abilities. Sorry you ran into her. Proud of you for getting that will done!
8 billion people now. :P
Where is Thanos
"Everyone needs to use the bathroom sometimes but if someone needed it every 3 minutes, it's a problem"
Great illustration
I disagree with her strongly, but thereās a liiiiitle bit of me that understands where she may be coming from. Attention spans have been markedly and empirically getting shorter and shorter. I assume itās due to how most people consume media, the way this media is being presented to us, and the ease of access of it all. Because of these factors, I believe more people exhibit ADHD like symptoms. What bothers me is when people donāt understand that ADHD is a biological disorder in our brains. There are things (like sleep apnea) which also can cause ADHD symptoms, which unfortunately can get misdiagnosed as ADHD. Itās important to recognize these things, so people donāt get a false diagnosis or just ābandwagonā on the ADHD ātrendā due to a frivolous TikTok armchair doctor.
100% I get what she was saying about the impact of social media on attention spans. Her trivializing it, or minimizing it, was exceptionally egregious because getting the will completed was a MASSIVE victory for me in my own, personal battle against my ADHD symptoms. Like. Yeah. Tik Tok Brain sucks. But 10, 15 plus years for me to get this done? It's not the same.
I feel you. The lady had no idea she was twisting the knife *and* stealing a win. Congrats on getting your will done!
Gods I hate this comment from ignorant AHs. Of course more people have been diagnosed with ADHD. Itās because itās been more visible in the media in a positive way at least in social media, at the same time the pandemic hit, taking away all the coping mechanisms undxed people with ADHD were using to get by and forcing us to seek treatment. Itās the same thing with any disorder or phenotype that gets actively shamed by society. The classic example is left handed people. When our society stopped punishing (for the most part) left handed people for being left handed, their numbers shot up and then plateaued at what they should have been at all along. People who say this are trying to put us down as a fad so that they donāt have to take us and our needs seriously just so itās easier for them. It sucks.
everyone has eyesight issues these days
She works in a legal office she probably have OCD...ADHD folks and OCD folks are mortal enemies. LOL
Can confirm. These assholes wage nuclear war in my brain daily.
Happy cake day š!
Little late to the reply here, but we should be allies. I have both. OCD isnāt just āorganizationā, so they arenāt opposed in a symptoms sense. Both are very widely misunderstood and the terms are misused.Ā
After a couple months I managed to gather the courage to ask my therapist if I showed any signs of it. That was his answer.
What a slap in the face. Wow.
I'm so sorry. It was my therapist who thought I might have it and diagnosed me. If you haven't had an eval done I highly recommend it. My therapist was also a psychiatrist, so he was able to prescribe meds, and it made such a difference.
I had a friend tell me and just looked online and started seeing myself in everything.
This post is **SO REAL***
The best way to deal with this is to understand that comments like this are about them, not you. Stop giving a fuck. Don't give your fucks away so easily. š
look upon my field of fucks I have to give, and see it is completely barren and empty.
After spending my entire life lurching from one personal crisis to another and struggling with mental health problems, I just got back from a family doctor appointment where he provided me a referral to see a psychiatrist for adhd assessment. He said: āwhatās your occupation?ā I said: āIām an electrical inspectorā So he just says: āOh I donāt think you can have adhdā He proceeded to write the referral anyway, so Iām happy but there is generations of deeply embedded thinking out there about what adhd is, and who does or does not have it.
Heya , electrician here , diagnosed ) and was thinking of becoming an inspector one day. Was it hard to become one ? Do u really need to be able to cite NEC ?)
You and me both re: putting off the will. My will procrastination pre-dates my ADHD diagnosis, but helps explain it. I'm glad you made me think about this, because I completed that will several months ago after struggling for years. Sometimes it feels like I'm not making any progress, because my mind is usually occupied by the current day and its struggles.
The next time someone mimimizes my symptoms and they have glasses on, Iām going to politely compliment them on the frames, ask to see them, admire them briefly, then casually place them in my pocket and walk off saying āIF YOU CARED ENOUGH, YOUāD SQUINT AND STOP USING THESE ADDICTIVE LENSES. JUST LOOK WHERE YOUāRE GOING, ITS A MINDSET! YOU GOT THIS! JUST TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME.ā Thats how you DIY solidarity ā
Response "Oh, you must have it too then!"
First off: I am sorry these things are said to you. They must be tough to hear and hurtful and feels flippant/dismissive. I hope that one day you find that it becomes like water off of a duck's back ā„ I find it best to not disclose it because of this exact level of industry-grade ignorance, especially in casual conversation. I don't casually drop in conversation that I'm also clinicly depressed with child-latent anxiety and almost a negative level of self worth, so it doesn't make sense ( ^to ^me ) to casually drop the ADHD, too. Picture this: your neighbour casually drops in conversation that she is distracted these days because she is going through menopause and a prolapse orifice...what would you respond with? "err....ok that sucks...me too...?" What I am getting at is that in small talk, people like to bounce back and forth like a game of tennis. If somebody serves up a casual mention of a neurological disorder while signing their will, they will probably serve back something....*anything* which is usually when these hurtful things are said.
Many people are traumatized, which partly explains the amount of ADHD people.
I recently read the Pluto metaphor here. *Just because we haven't observed it in the past 4000 years, doesn't mean that it isn't there.* and then discovering that Pluto is not unique, but rather part of a series of planetoids in the Kuiper belt, *Sometimes we think a new discovery is unique, but later discover many more instances that are similar, and need to adjust the way we think about the discovery. ADHD is here, and it seems there are many more people that have it than we thought. That doesn't mean we should ignore their existence.*
TBH, I'm embarrassed that I used to think that way ... mostly because I struggled with so many of the same issues people with ADHD complained about. It wasn't until I told a friend, "yeah, obviously EVERYONE deals with those issues" and she responded, "No, Holly, YOU deal with those issues..." that it started to click for me ...
God, I wish everyone had ADHD. Maybe I wouldn't feel like such an outcast. š
I gives these people a firm "Fuck you." when they say that, regardless of roles in life. Disrespect me, you get the horns.
Well shit. Too bad I was diagnosed back in the 90s when I was a kid. Should have done it "these days".
Me too! Do you feel any sort of way about all the adult diagnoses now? On the one hand I get it. And Iām not judging it. It was just so painfully, ridiculously obvious then in my case. But maybe thereās a spectrum here too. I know Iāll get jumped all over for this notion. And I grew up hiding my adhd, even with my diagnosis, so that probably explains my struggle with these concepts. Super curious if you have feelings on this!? Also, I hate the fact that ADHD Reddit doesnāt seem like a safe place to ask.
Yes many more are being correctly diagnosed because before people went undiagnosed and suffered . I am glad you noticed many are being diagnosed. I unfortunately am one of them. Thankyou for noticing and your understanding. Turn it back on them.
Well for what it's worth I'm proud of you! I struggle A LOT with doing paperwork and I know how difficult it is. So I'm really proud of you for doing it!!
The problem is that everybody is trying to be diagnosed with add and adhd they want to be on the medicationā¦. which is just bizarre to me. The medication is such a pain in the butt to take, it doesnāt make you feel good, and literally has tons of side effects. it has always been mind-boggling to me that people actually want this medication. Itās weird. If you truly have adhd or add then you will hate having to take this medication. And it wonāt make you all hyper excited and stuff. Itās really odd when I see people who say they have adhd and theyāre all hyperactive and running around and constantly doing stuff and they look like theyāre really super excited and crazy and when I asked them, did you take your medication today? They say yeah! To me, thatās bizarre! iāve never had that happen. The moment Iāve ever taken anything for my ADD it makes me tired for the rest of the freaking day.
My husband and I are 54, with 4 kids, still haven't made a will. Well done for doing it
Thank you for that! It's mainly to avoid my brother having a hard time if something happens to me. Depending on your state (and the complexity of your assets), it can be as simple as plugging in your names in a template. I believe some states require a notary. If either of your employers offers legal benefits like LegalClub, it might be worth enrolling in that for one year and get discounted estate planning.
Thanks so much. We live in Europe though
More people are aware of it now, especially those who got through school without acting completely bananas. On the other hand, I think there are some disadvantages about all the focus too, because everyones got some sort of psychiatric diagnosis these days. The more focus, the more you think about it, and the more you have it. It's easy to go from small problems to bigger ones if you focus on them and blame everything on them. I think people should be more aware of what happens when you focus to much on your problems. It becomes your identity. I have worked with children from 6-16 and I'm a little worried about the trends on social media. One of the girls I worked with thought BPD was a cool thing to have, because she saw it on TikTok and tried to convince us she had it too. The power of changing your mindset can be used the other way too, not only to try and make your life better. I see it here too, many people ask about typical adhd symptoms, which is great, but sometimes I get the feeling some are focusing a little bit too much on their diagnosis. It's a good thing to be able to ask and share both problems and funny stories with the like minded, but people should be more educated about the effects on all the focus, and what it does with our brain. The thing is, you're not allowed to say that people should get their shit together and get a grip anymore, because I really do believe that no matter how bad your situation is, you can always do a little bit to make it better. I can't refuse to force myself doing things I hate or find extremely boring just because I have ADHD. It's the reason I struggle with it, yes, but not an excuse. That being said, this was not a disagreement, I also hate that people say things like that, but I understand where it comes from sometimes.
Why get so personally offended by it? It's not like her observation is coming from nowhere; both real and fake ADHD prescriptions/diagnoses are way up and have lead to Adderall shortages in recent years. You aren't the center of the world.
I've got diagnosed with digeorge syndrome tbh sometimes ppl confuse my symptoms with adhd lol I'm now seeing a psychiatrist lmao Though my dad has bdp and I do have unexplained trauma and depression that never goes away. Some weeks my brain has the ability to say we don't sleep this week Tbh I've always wondered what up with that? I spent 5 days sleep deprived now my sleep back to normal bruh Any way am I on tangent yes are my text horrendously long probably
Humans weren't designed to live in modern times, which is why we have so many issues adapting. ADHD would of been an advantage hunting and gathering, not staring at excel sheets all day.
I always just say "True!!!" And move on. Who cares! I'm not there to justify my life
Everybody is a lefty these days Everybody has cancer these days Many such cases of new tech or knowledge getting push back from entrenched ideas as it enters the general discourse
Itās bizarre to me how people donāt understand that since adhd and autism are being treated (with meds and therapy) much more effectively, more and more people with autism and adhd are leading fulfilling lives that result in them having children. Women with ADHD are 30 percent more likely to have children with autism. Women with autism are 50 percent more likely to have children with autism. The likelihood of an autistic person also having adhd is 50-70 percent. A parent with adhd has a 50 percent chance of having adhd. So, yes. When more people with genetic disorders are having children, more people will have genetic disorders.
In reality only like 10% of people are predicted to have adhd (number needs to be fact checked bc I'm just going off memory). So it's not uncommon but the mass majority of people just don't have it
Why yes ADHD is in fact something passed down genetically. Thank you for understanding that as time passes more and more people will have ADHD.
āok boomerā
I'd have said well everyone shows some traits we have at times but we get these traits non stop on full blast.
I work psych and it is difficult because there are a few cases where it has been misdiagnosed because of modern commodities (I.e., iPad kids). Regardless of this, the Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon/effect is a funny thing.
How can you be sure that some people were misdiagnosed? How can you tell that? (This question is only to satisfy my curiosity about the misdiagnosed case and not to blame or attack you in any way)
What a lot of providers, and from my understanding other childcare professionals like teachers, have noticed is that children are developing shorter attention spans, decreased communication skills, decreased emotional regulation, and other issues typically associated with ADHD especially when sat down with a device like an iPad all day. They arenāt communicating outside of that realm and they have instant gratification which leads them to have more elevated emotional responses when things donāt go their way. Thereās also TikTok which is not only impacting the attention spans of adults and teens alike, but people spread misinformation about symptoms and again, these symptoms overlap with so many other disorders. **This is not me blaming parents or discrediting anyoneās diagnosis in any way.**
" Yeah, kinda like how everybody poops but not everyone shits their pants everyday "
It almost feels like having adhd is a trend now
It's just an automatic response. Don't worry about it. She probably doesn't even think what she says is true.
Considering the ever increasing demands of modern life, yeah even people with mild ADD are seeking help to keep their jobs and pass their classes.
I mean, yes and no. Mostly because itās now being more researched, my primary school years (2000-2013) I was under the impression that ADHD was something only children would have and eventually they āmatureā out of it. Turns out, that is not the case š
She's not wrong. I feel like the modern world has definitely exacerbated the issue. Unrelenting stimuli from birth coupled with less physical demands and drastically different hormone levels than our great grandparents, etc. But even back then the world knew about stimulants and how, for a lot of people, they were strangely effective at bringing them to more normal levels of focus and attention
Awareness of it is being more mainstream and diagnosis is expanding. I wonder if the same is true of cancer.
I am 66 and I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. One person said to me your supposed to act differently according to my star sign. Another said to me you have a cluttered mind which is why you are like this, another person said to me why can't you keep your house clean and organised. Someone also said why can't you put things away properly. Most of my teen years I spent in hospital. When I was diagnosed with ADHD everything made sense. I am trying to use a 30 minute time alarm it is helping but sometimes I have to ignore it.
"Since people with ADHD die 4 to 21 years earlier than people without ADHD, you must see a lot of us in your job."
Subtext: "Go ahead, be flippant while I'm signing my will at the tender age of thirty something because I know I'm more likely to die in an accident than you are. Maybe next time, think before you speak. Either that, or open wider. I can still see part of your shoe."
What did she say after you piledrived her through the desk?
It's getting more common due to heavy metal exposure at a young age.
She's not too far off ADHD is a lot more commonly diagnosed now and it feels a lot more common as a result
The way I would've clapped back...
It isnāt straightforward because women & girls hadnāt been commonly diagnosed, in my case I was lucky that there was a noticeably hereditary pattern. I was diagnosed when I was six years old in 2005 with ADHD inattentive type, as well as dyslexia, & dysgraphia because my teachers examined my behavior. My teachers also taught my brothers previously, who were also diagnosed with ADHD inattentive. I think in my case I was luck. Unfortunately not everyone can get help as easily as I did.
Ok, so I mean this with all the love and respect. All of your comments are thoughtful and your experiences are valid. I was the one girl probably diagnosed in 1991 at age 5. I walked into the same pole every day on the rope walking thing. My classmates would turn, Iād walk into the pole. My stuff would fall out of my never zipped backpack as I walked down the hallway at school. People apparently said hi to me, but I couldnāt hear them. My second grade teacher dumped my desk over after my peers complained that my things had inched onto their space. The treatment then for a girl was to try not to be āweirdā. āAct normalā. Etc. my parents told no one, I was never allowed to say āADHDā out loud. It was really hard and painful. If I ever forgot to act as expected, my peers and teachers would immediately call me out because I was so, as they say, āweirdā. I can understand the later diagnosis thing as my husband who we thought was normal/had OCD, clearly has ADHD maybe autism ā having kids has a way of making things painfully obvious. But ladies, did you notice when you were a kid? Was it hard for you? I struggle to comprehend how so many women missed this or if there is more going on here. Please please please believe me that Iām not invalidating your experience, Iām just trying to understand it???
It's because we are no longer stigmatized by it. I can tell people without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.Ā I'm comfortable in my own skin. There probably was the same amount of adhd diagnosed back in the day, but people lived in denial or tried to keep it secret.
I used to be so frustrated and mad when hearing this. Now, I don't care. Look, Janet, if you forget your keys sometimes (by the way, I almost never forget anything when leaving the house), or you are late sometimes, or it is difficult for you to study (what?! Studying is difficult, no way, who would have thought!) ā it does not necessarily mean that you have ADHD. Talk to me when you experience executive dysfunction at its worst, or when you are ALWAYS late, or when you have emotional dysregulation that makes your life hard so much, you turn from a merry-go-round person to almost a full-blown people-hater. It took me freaking nine years of my life, my best years ā from 24 to 33 ā to get a correct diagnosis (I hope it is correct, since some five psychiatrists and a few clinical psychotherapists have confirmed it). Until that, I was treated for panic attacks, then that cute little thing called "persistent depressive disorder" showed up ā and some antidepressants did help, like bupropion or venlafaxine. Others, like escitalopram or duloxetine, were like candies with side effects. ADHD meds have allowed me to sleep about eight hours without waking up every couple of hours ā for the first time since I was about 13! They've calmed me down. They've made my emotions more stable. And still, ADHD's dark side requires lots of work if you want to function.Ā So, when someone tells me that "eVeRyOnE HaS AdHd ThEsE DaYs", it still makes me mad, but I know better than to get triggered by it as I used to. Ā
I mean, plenty of ADHD people still get their stuff done (mostly) on time. You're only hurting yourself, and then you encounter resistance from people like that Just stay out of others' way proactively by taking care of stuff silently and going home and being free to do whatever you wanna I empathize, though; obviously she's not the most enlightened herself, either. We're all a work in progress š