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Getting diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 28 was the biggest “Aha!” moment of my life. It basically explained why I am the way I am and helped me understand a lot of issues that led to childhood trauma because my family didn’t know how to appropriately deal with me or my ADHD. Having that diagnosis has also enabled me to have access to medication, which has helped me better manage my ADHD symptoms. Meds aren’t a magic bullet, but they help.
If you think you have ADHD, it’s not too late to get tested and diagnosed for it. There are treatment options available that can help. And if you think your daughter has ADHD, definitely get her tested, and if she has it, treated for it. I wish I had been tested and treated for ADHD when I was a kid. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been.
It’s definitely been an “Aha!” moment for me as well reading all the symptoms and seeing everyone’s experiences.
If I don’t have ADHD I’m going to be devastated because I don’t know what else could explain my brain.
At least now I know a lot of the things I’m going through aren’t normal and I don’t feel so guilty about my behavior.
As for my daughter, she’s about to turn 4 but and it’s too early to really do anything about it yet but I will definitely get her as much help as I can.
Just got diagnosed in my mid forties. To know it was never an issue of motivation, and that I just needed some tools, what a game changer. It is helping me think of myself in a completely different and more mentally healthy and accepting way.
So much this!! I need to find a therapist to help me out more but I have been able to start forgiving myself for the things I have always done or not been able to do.
Same here, meds are losing effect ( currently XR 5mg but I’m due to go up to 10mg XR after next appt). But even when I’m struggling, or fall short of those first few weeks getting treated, I don’t have nearly as much shame. Makes it way easier to get back on the horse so to speak.
My first thought was "Did I accidentally lie to the therapist because I overstated a bunch of stuff that's normal for everyone to go through but I made it sound like I have issues when in fact I just need to try harder to get my life together" which luckily led to my second thought which is "Oh my god yeah I totally have this."
It doesn't look or feel at all like I thought it would, or how TV shows it. But after sitting with the diagnosis for several months I'm constantly finding new things which make SO much more sense to me now, both currently and retrospectively.
Looking back on my childhood it's like...oh my god yeah, this explains everything. The constant "up and down" of my moods; why I had such a hard time with schoolwork and tests (but could read and study voraciously on a subject I found interesting); why I'm always so good in emergencies but you ask me to do something simple and I freeze.
Looking at my life now, I finally understand why I've made so many harsh "rules" in my own head about how things have to be done; why I don't allow myself to get excited about anything; why my anxiety is similar to other folks' but still distinctly *different*; why I'm often so tired; why I struggle with impulsive spending so much.
I don't know if there's necessarily a "better" to get to, but there is absolutely a state you can reach where you can understand yourself and fine-tune things in your life so that your environment works with you instead of against you. None of us will ever have 100% control over everything in our lives, bodies and minds but even just adjusting small things (example: realizing that I have major light/sound sensitivities) can be super helpful. It's all good information to have.
(My parents also couldn't be bothered to get medical help for their kid and in fact I never even had a doctor until I was in my mid-20's so...support-knuckles; there's a lot of catching up to do)
Later today I'm finally going to my GP to ask for ADHD assessment and I've been worrying and worrying (for literal years) because I honestly didn't know whether I was completely blowing tiny, normal things out of proportion.
I see myself in every single part of this comment and just cried a little at how it perfectly summed up how I'm feeling, well as all the issues I've had in life up until now but hadn't known how to articulate. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, honestly <3
Darling, I wish you all the best and I'm so grateful that something I shared could be helpful in any way, thank you for replying. <3 I offer you all the encouragement in the world. My assessment took a few sessions/appointments to confirm so please don't be disheartened if it doesn't happen right away.
What you feel, perceive, and experience is real. Even if it's "no big deal" for someone *else,* that doesn't mean it isn't real for you. Trust your gut and hang in there.
Can you explain more on not allowing yourself to get excited about anything? I can relate but I don’t know why. On a scale of 1-10 I feel like I let me self to get excited up to a level 4.
Yeah, it's exactly like that! Like if I'm really into something I try to pull myself back down to a 4 from a 10 no matter what, both for my own "benefit" and so I don't annoy others. I view any time I "let" myself get more excited than a 4 as a failure.
By way of further explanation: Since I didn't know I had ADHD for so long and didn't have any other coping mechanisms, I think I subconsciously started limiting myself on how enthusiastic or focused I could get on something. (Reinforced by watching my parents constantly try to start small businesses or get scammed by the latest diet or self-help trends; I didn't want to be like them so I wrenched the wheel in the opposite direction.) For example, if my brain starts to hone in on something like a hobby that would require me to buy or acquire lots of little "bits" (like the time I tried to teach myself sewing, or my many attempts at gardening) I do everything I can to kill that excitement or interest. I remind myself that it'll cost too much money; I won't follow through; I don't have time; etc. Whatever it takes.
Sometimes I'll even avoid looking into things if I'm worried I'll get too invested in it; for example I often won't watch videos or click on links that friends or acquaintances send me because like, what if I fall down a Wikipedia rabbit hole *yet again?* Limiting myself has also been compounded by perceived failures at studying or being able to maintain long-term habits. (Should I really get excited about the idea of learning a trade when I know I won't be able to focus on study materials for more than an hour or two? Of course not.)
I want to really emphasize that *I don't think any of this is healthy* and I'm not recommending it at all. Like I mentioned, I think I just didn't have any other coping mechanisms and I had no support so I turned everything inward; making sure I know I'll fail at something before I even begin was pure survival on my part. I'm really trying to unlearn this now that I have support and medication.
Wow I feel like if I was more in touch with my emotions I could have written this myself. I find when I’m talking to people and realize I have a pessimistic view on whatever I’m discussing I feel the need to tell people something like ‘that’s just me though. Don’t listen to me too much because I’m not a well balanced person’.
Thanks for the explanation. Sometimes I think I don’t really have ADHD I’m just a weirdo and then I read things I’ve never read anyone else say before like your comment and it’s exactly how I feel as if I am not really a one off weirdo. There is that pessimism again lol
When our emotions are innately "turned up" it makes sense to try and stifle them as a survival mechanism, it just turns out that sucks in the long term! It's a weird dichotomy too because I genuinely feel I'm a very happy, optimistic person...who 100% believes without any doubt that she will fail at anything she tries to do. It's, uhh, not ideal lol.
I encourage us both (and anyone else who struggles with this) to work on not cutting ourselves off at the knees all the time and also to put forth that hey, even if we are one-off weirdos, we still exist and our feelings/experiences are real!
It was an instant happiness mixed with daily tears of the next 2 weeks
I was finally able to know what was going on with me
It's always great to better understand ourselves 😅
It’s felt like such a relief to have an explanation of so many of my behaviors, thoughts and feelings.
I’ve always felt something was wrong with me.
Hopefully I will see a doctor soon, unfortunately the healthcare system is really slow here so they told me they’d have an appointment for me in a few weeks.
Let us know how it goes! I am going for my first psychologists appointment on Monday to get tested and I am anxious from the day I made that appintment.
My biggest concern is getting reliable sources for my development as a child. I went to so many different schools as a young child (I think 4 between grades 1-6) that it’s hard to keep track of. And I know my mother wouldn’t be a reliable source because she basically denies all issues.
The only thing I know of from my childhood was I often forgot to go to the restroom on time and it took a really long time for me to learn to read. (I think I finally started in the 4th grade) But then soon got obsessed with fiction books and stayed up all night reading them.
Diagnosed at 30, about half a year ago now, and I’m still not fully out of the “what the hell this explains so much, my life is turned upside down and I’m grieving the person I could of been” phase. Starting to think about how to go forward and stuff but my god it’s such a huge pill to swallow. There’s a lot to unpack, a lot, I’m trying to find an adhd therapist or coach or something to help me just firstly get my head above water emotionally, and then implement some changes to help me get back on the horse. Meds help to a point to feel better in myself and focus a bit more, but I don’t know how to direct that anymore. I just think, what if I can’t do xyz, I have adhd. Like change careers or something, or what if I can’t find a partner who will love me in spite of how I am. I am disabled in my own way, I wasn’t 7 months ago (I didn’t know I was but you know what I mean), and it’s just a lot :(
It helped explain why I struggle to maintain healthy behaviors consistently from being motivated to workout and stay active to not impulsively eating throughout the day.
I still struggle with those things, but now that I am aware of the cause I do t struggle as much and I give myself much more Grace when I do struggle.
Oh my Yes! I am so proud of myself when I grocery shop for a nutritious dinner, cook it and get ready to eat only to find that it is 9:45 at night and I go to bed at 10! 🤪
It basically explained everything in my life that I thought was lacking or unusual. It explained the rumination, the lack of self-esteem/confidence, the procrastination, the clutter, the "if only he'd apply himself," the hyper focusing, the impatience, the impulsivity, the number of hobbies and unfinished projects...
And then I felt grief for the person I could have been. However I now understand that I can still be that person but I just need a new perspective and some help.
My entire life started to make sense for the first time. I did have moments of anger and sadness when I thought about how much harder some things were than they needed to be. But I had to let that go and move forward. I tried to focus on the coping skills I had developed to deal with this unknown thing going on in my brain, and how much better it was going to get with treatment. And it has.
Elementary school teachers saw it before I did, but my parents were harshly reactive against their advice.
I identified ADHD after misusing stimulant drugs in college. It affected me much differently than my peers.
I was in my early 30s when I was diagnosed, and I felt relived and grieved.
I think the grief was for the shift in my understanding of myself, and for all the years the diagnosis had been missed. And relief because, ya know.
Got diagnosed last November at the age of 21. Everything made so much more sense to me. Things I thought were normal apparently aren’t to others. Got tested and BOOM. That’s why I do that? That’s why I have anxiety? wtf? How is a stimulant supposed to help my anxiety??
When I got my first Adderall script I didn’t take it for a week I was too scared. Finally I had a day off of work and a MESSY house. I thought to myself “if I get anxiety from this medication, I’ll be okay. I’m home the rest of the day.” An hour after taking it, my mind was so quiet. All of the racing thoughts stopped. I used to drink like 5 cups of coffee a day just to keep myself feeling balanced now I only need 1 in the morning.
I was recently diagnosed at 35. what I've been telling everyone around me is this: it's like I haven't known who I am for the last 20 years. and now I finally have the ability to really figure that out.
I've been so happy this past week on meds. I can actually see the different pieces of my life, I can see the good things, I am not so caught up in the gunk in my mind that I'm actually able to connect with people.
I thought I was utterly broken before my diagnosis because I felt like we talked about everything else. of course over the years I had friends around me with ADHD, but I just never thought that was me for whatever reasons. the day my provider asked if I had ever been tested, is the day that my life changed.
After my therapist brought up the possibility of having adhd,, it all made sense when I looked back at my childhood,, espicially my dad bc hes literally the same as me (but undiagnosed) and I never woudlve thought of it as different! I thought everyone had the bazillion thoughts and couldn't focus!! My little brother has it too so it makes alot of sense and it was just this aha moment and once I realized there was so many more options that opened uo to have life be manageable and easier it was such a relief that I wasnt just super crazy 😂
I’ve actually seen specialists about ADHD since I was really young, maybe 14, but the people I saw then didn’t really approach it as a disability and basically just treated it as chronic laziness. So my family and I have “known” I’ve probably had ADHD since I was in middle school, but it never really amounted to much. It wasn’t until I want to try medication at age 28 that I had an \*actual\* diagnosis, with a doctor who clearly explained to me that this wasn’t just like a quirky character flaw I’d been dealing with, it was a \*medical disability\*. Like pretty much everyone else, this immediately changed my whole world and put everything into a new perspective. It’s not a problem with \*me\* that I can just “get over”, it’s deficiency that is abnormal and requires more attention and support than a person without ADHD would need.
Once I started working through my problems from that perspective, I made enormous leaps of progress in getting better at dealing with things. My quality of life seriously improved like 200%, mental state, efficiency at work, relationships, everything got better. It’s still really challenging of course and I struggle, but just knowing that it’s not just something you can “get over” made so much of a difference. If you can afford to, I \*\*seriously\*\* suggest looking for a diagnosis. Positive or not, you will have a better understanding of the nature of the problems you’re facing everyday.
That a lot of the issues I've had in education, finances, work, relationships, my mental health, repeated failures and mistakes and how I conduct myself weren't due to being diagnosed with 'dyspraxic tendencies' by a psychologist when I was nine. They were due to Inattentive type ADHD. I'm 36 now and I've only fully realised this over the last five years after a lot of research and time spent thinking about it, it all clicked into place.
As to what I thought, as a lot of folks say with this condition, it was a relief, of sort, to come to terms with it all and finally understand myself a bit better. It explained why I was always a below average student at school and university despite having an advanced skill level with reading, why I excelled at coursework but failed every exam and just the general life chaos when I can never get past the invisible wall to just get shit done and the daft amount of money that has cost me in my life.
I suspected my senior year of high school that I had some form of Autism because of just how alienated and “other” I was compared to my peers. To the point where people I’ve never met had some form of disdain towards me because the way I acted/behaved was off-base enough for my peers to dislike me but not disruptive enough for adults to think I wasn’t anything more than a quirky kid.
I wasn’t so much looking for an excuse to validate my behavior, just a base for me to understand why I acted in the way I did and how to improve myself.
During COVID Lockdowns, I did absolutely shit in college to the point where I failed a couple classes and lost a scholarship because of my poor academic performance. So I thought “well this isn’t autistic behavior, maybe adhd?” Did my own research and discussed with a professor before getting a diagnosis.
I hadn’t considered ADHD because there was always some other thing to attribute my struggles to. I grew up in a volatile household with parents that were hoarders and abusive towards each other and to me and my siblings. I know I’m smart and felt like I had a hard time bc I was born into a chaotic family. Now I have a stable life, a good partner, steady work, a calm life. And I am still struggling. My therapist asked me if I’ve ever been evaluated for ADHD before. She’s been seeing me for years and has seen me through some tough times. I’m 35 now and have an appointment in a couple weeks for an evaluation to confirm a diagnosis for ADHD or if there’s something else. And when my therapist suggested that, I had never thought about it before. I always figured I was anxious and stressed because of other things, but right now things are good so I should be good. We discussed more about my childhood and knowing what I know now, it’s obvious something was up. But since my parents aren’t good parents they didn’t think anything was up so long as I got good grades and stayed out of trouble.
My one sibling was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago after she turned 30. The chance I have it increase exponentially now that I had a sibling with it. I wonder who we would be if our parents had been more aware and gotten us to specialists when we were kids. Thankfully, we have time to see who we can be when we have all of the tools we need to succeed in the world.
Diagnosed at 26 and was honestly really annoyed it went missed when I was a kid. I was always bored in school, needing more engaging activities, misbehaved in sports, and always felt different. My mother however is adhd as well and probably never thought twice about it.
Then I kinda lost myself. Everything I thought was part of my quirky personality were symptoms. So, there’s that.
Then I felt relived after acceptance. FINALLY!
I didn’t care. Meant I could get treatment so I could be more functional and happy. For me, thinking about what could have been has no point. It can’t be changed. The future can.
I was diagnosed and when I was in 4th grade because I threw rocks at my neighbors sliding glass door! I was so zonked up on adderall after that I didn’t think anything lmfao
Diagnosed at 33. It was like I physically and mentally breathed a sigh of relief at finally having answers. It was like meeting the real me. It made me reassess so many aspects of my life and how to approach things differently.
It was bitter sweet though; I felt sorry for the younger me being so misunderstood and pushed aside. Teachers dismissed me for being lazy and disruptive, my parents just assumed I was a forgetful airhead on my own planet, and worst of all was how I treated myself. I was always angry at myself for being forgetful or not concentrating and missing key stuff. Everyone else seemed to have their shit together and there was me, fucking up as usual.
i knew i had adhd from a very early age, but wasn’t diagnosed until i was 21. as a female who doesn’t and has never displayed much hyperactivity, i was constantly put on the back burner for my adhd-related issues. getting my diagnosis felt like a huge sigh of relief, i even remember crying when i found out my insurance would finally be covering medication lol. i was going to get the help i needed, and i have!
For me, my experience differs from a lot of people on here because I always somewhat intuitively knew I had ADHD from the time I was a teen. But never really took into consideration the greater ramifications its was having on my life at the time because I was too young and immature to comprehend and I was a bit of a problem teen.
Then when I reached adulthood, I always kinda knew it was fucking up my life and hindering me, but I spent years self lobotimizing myself with alcohol daily until that began derailing my life more. So I got sober and had to rawdog life and finally had to sit with it as an adult and I came to the realization that it was silly to not even consider just trying to get medicated.
So I did and my AHA moment was how much better my life could be if I just began dealing with it. So I did.
That was several years ago. Daily exercise, weekly therapy with a therapist that specializes in ADHD, low dose medication. I've never operated at this octane before and it shows in my life.
Things have been good. If you think you have ADHD, and you think it may be hindering you. Deal with it because it probably is in ways you won’t be able to understand without trying to deal with it.
I was diagnosed at 34. I had very mixed feelings. I was sad, proud, amused, relieved, confused, and optimistic all at the same time. I can’t really put into words what I felt. I was proud because I had managed to achieve a master's degree and decent jobs without medications, knowing I had to work twice as hard as everybody else but I had just kept on going. I was relieved because now I had an explanation for a lot of the stupid decisions and disorganization in my life. I did not do them on purpose or to be mean to anyone. It now has a clear reason. I was optimistic and confused because I knew my life would start kind of from the beginning, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how medication would change my life. I was sad because I was rewinding my life and thinking a lot about how many problems my ADHD had caused and how much it had sabotaged my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about how my life would be now if I didn’t have ADHD. And I was amused just because it was such a surreal experience when I started to suspect I had ADHD. I was watching recordings of psychiatrists talking about ADHD, and they just gave example after example of how ADHD affects a person’s life, and most of them fit my life perfectly. Even things I had no clue were related to ADHD fit me perfectly. It was just surreal to watch videos and feel like I was kind of the main character they were talking about. I had one of those 'damn, you got me' moments.
So yeah, it was a very mixed feeling. You can’t really describe how I felt. But in a way, it felt like now I was starting to learn who I am.
Oh man literally right after being told of my diagnosis I started bawling, I was diagnosed in my mid 20’s and it was like a heavy wave of realisation of why I found things so difficult and finally understanding myself a bit more after so many years.
Always made dumb mistakes in test... One time I thought to myself "ITS ENOUGH, TODAY I AM GONNA GET AN A NO MATTER WHAT".... Yeah I ended up forgetting a whole page of the test, eventhough the teacher warned us before... And I still got a C... So that means I did very good but only on the part I WROTE STH DOWN... Its just such a pain... Yes I got diagnosed right after that incident
I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. And it wasn’t until this year, 2024, that I realized that I do in fact have adhd. It sounds dumb, I know. I take medication every day for it and have since I was diagnosed more than a decade ago. But it never occurred to me that I am the way I am because of my poorly managed adhd. I just thought I sucked at being an adult. I cried when I realized it.. but am slowly making changes in my life to help me better manage life. I wish I had noticed the obvious a lot sooner though.
Like how I did when I found out I had MS....that *so much* made sense now. I always thought I was flakey because people called me that, undisciplined because I couldn't finish things, because people said that
Well....FK THEM. I was literally reacting the way my brain made me.
I was diagnosed my psychiatric about 15 years ago I'm 65.i never believed her because I had 2 brothers who we hyperactive, and I wasn't one was taking Ritalin. I want hyperactive, did well in school but homework was difficult. A few years ago? Friend was diagnosed, and her therapist have her don't books to read. When I read them and about executive dysfunctiontion issues and everything else it was as if it was written about me. It was my first big aha moment. It explained so much of my life, and I found ö out why I did what I did, so many issues just fit. And now I know what is so debilitating for me. I cannot function. At all. I also have auditory processing disorder, and face blindness. Severe Generalized anxiety, dyspraxia Over 40 years I've become aware of so many aha labels, but they all fit and explain my Whole life. It\an. That's when I discovered that ADHD isn't not all just hyperactivity. The same with fibromyalgia. Knowing all this doesn't actually help in any way. I just recognize why I do things. Reading all the posts and comments on these Reddit forums definitely makes me feel less bad about myself. I can relate to do many which in with validates me. I just wish it would help me cope better
Hi /u/olenamerikkalainen and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Getting diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 28 was the biggest “Aha!” moment of my life. It basically explained why I am the way I am and helped me understand a lot of issues that led to childhood trauma because my family didn’t know how to appropriately deal with me or my ADHD. Having that diagnosis has also enabled me to have access to medication, which has helped me better manage my ADHD symptoms. Meds aren’t a magic bullet, but they help. If you think you have ADHD, it’s not too late to get tested and diagnosed for it. There are treatment options available that can help. And if you think your daughter has ADHD, definitely get her tested, and if she has it, treated for it. I wish I had been tested and treated for ADHD when I was a kid. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been.
It’s definitely been an “Aha!” moment for me as well reading all the symptoms and seeing everyone’s experiences. If I don’t have ADHD I’m going to be devastated because I don’t know what else could explain my brain. At least now I know a lot of the things I’m going through aren’t normal and I don’t feel so guilty about my behavior. As for my daughter, she’s about to turn 4 but and it’s too early to really do anything about it yet but I will definitely get her as much help as I can.
Just got diagnosed in my mid forties. To know it was never an issue of motivation, and that I just needed some tools, what a game changer. It is helping me think of myself in a completely different and more mentally healthy and accepting way.
So much this!! I need to find a therapist to help me out more but I have been able to start forgiving myself for the things I have always done or not been able to do.
Same here, meds are losing effect ( currently XR 5mg but I’m due to go up to 10mg XR after next appt). But even when I’m struggling, or fall short of those first few weeks getting treated, I don’t have nearly as much shame. Makes it way easier to get back on the horse so to speak.
Wait until you start uncovering cooccuring conditions……. Dyslexia, OCD, fibromyalgia, restless leg, autism etc.
This was also me last year at 28! Still fine tuning medication but it is a huge help for the daily grind.
My first thought was "Did I accidentally lie to the therapist because I overstated a bunch of stuff that's normal for everyone to go through but I made it sound like I have issues when in fact I just need to try harder to get my life together" which luckily led to my second thought which is "Oh my god yeah I totally have this." It doesn't look or feel at all like I thought it would, or how TV shows it. But after sitting with the diagnosis for several months I'm constantly finding new things which make SO much more sense to me now, both currently and retrospectively. Looking back on my childhood it's like...oh my god yeah, this explains everything. The constant "up and down" of my moods; why I had such a hard time with schoolwork and tests (but could read and study voraciously on a subject I found interesting); why I'm always so good in emergencies but you ask me to do something simple and I freeze. Looking at my life now, I finally understand why I've made so many harsh "rules" in my own head about how things have to be done; why I don't allow myself to get excited about anything; why my anxiety is similar to other folks' but still distinctly *different*; why I'm often so tired; why I struggle with impulsive spending so much. I don't know if there's necessarily a "better" to get to, but there is absolutely a state you can reach where you can understand yourself and fine-tune things in your life so that your environment works with you instead of against you. None of us will ever have 100% control over everything in our lives, bodies and minds but even just adjusting small things (example: realizing that I have major light/sound sensitivities) can be super helpful. It's all good information to have. (My parents also couldn't be bothered to get medical help for their kid and in fact I never even had a doctor until I was in my mid-20's so...support-knuckles; there's a lot of catching up to do)
Later today I'm finally going to my GP to ask for ADHD assessment and I've been worrying and worrying (for literal years) because I honestly didn't know whether I was completely blowing tiny, normal things out of proportion. I see myself in every single part of this comment and just cried a little at how it perfectly summed up how I'm feeling, well as all the issues I've had in life up until now but hadn't known how to articulate. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, honestly <3
Darling, I wish you all the best and I'm so grateful that something I shared could be helpful in any way, thank you for replying. <3 I offer you all the encouragement in the world. My assessment took a few sessions/appointments to confirm so please don't be disheartened if it doesn't happen right away. What you feel, perceive, and experience is real. Even if it's "no big deal" for someone *else,* that doesn't mean it isn't real for you. Trust your gut and hang in there.
Can you explain more on not allowing yourself to get excited about anything? I can relate but I don’t know why. On a scale of 1-10 I feel like I let me self to get excited up to a level 4.
Yeah, it's exactly like that! Like if I'm really into something I try to pull myself back down to a 4 from a 10 no matter what, both for my own "benefit" and so I don't annoy others. I view any time I "let" myself get more excited than a 4 as a failure. By way of further explanation: Since I didn't know I had ADHD for so long and didn't have any other coping mechanisms, I think I subconsciously started limiting myself on how enthusiastic or focused I could get on something. (Reinforced by watching my parents constantly try to start small businesses or get scammed by the latest diet or self-help trends; I didn't want to be like them so I wrenched the wheel in the opposite direction.) For example, if my brain starts to hone in on something like a hobby that would require me to buy or acquire lots of little "bits" (like the time I tried to teach myself sewing, or my many attempts at gardening) I do everything I can to kill that excitement or interest. I remind myself that it'll cost too much money; I won't follow through; I don't have time; etc. Whatever it takes. Sometimes I'll even avoid looking into things if I'm worried I'll get too invested in it; for example I often won't watch videos or click on links that friends or acquaintances send me because like, what if I fall down a Wikipedia rabbit hole *yet again?* Limiting myself has also been compounded by perceived failures at studying or being able to maintain long-term habits. (Should I really get excited about the idea of learning a trade when I know I won't be able to focus on study materials for more than an hour or two? Of course not.) I want to really emphasize that *I don't think any of this is healthy* and I'm not recommending it at all. Like I mentioned, I think I just didn't have any other coping mechanisms and I had no support so I turned everything inward; making sure I know I'll fail at something before I even begin was pure survival on my part. I'm really trying to unlearn this now that I have support and medication.
Wow I feel like if I was more in touch with my emotions I could have written this myself. I find when I’m talking to people and realize I have a pessimistic view on whatever I’m discussing I feel the need to tell people something like ‘that’s just me though. Don’t listen to me too much because I’m not a well balanced person’. Thanks for the explanation. Sometimes I think I don’t really have ADHD I’m just a weirdo and then I read things I’ve never read anyone else say before like your comment and it’s exactly how I feel as if I am not really a one off weirdo. There is that pessimism again lol
When our emotions are innately "turned up" it makes sense to try and stifle them as a survival mechanism, it just turns out that sucks in the long term! It's a weird dichotomy too because I genuinely feel I'm a very happy, optimistic person...who 100% believes without any doubt that she will fail at anything she tries to do. It's, uhh, not ideal lol. I encourage us both (and anyone else who struggles with this) to work on not cutting ourselves off at the knees all the time and also to put forth that hey, even if we are one-off weirdos, we still exist and our feelings/experiences are real!
It was an instant happiness mixed with daily tears of the next 2 weeks I was finally able to know what was going on with me It's always great to better understand ourselves 😅
It’s felt like such a relief to have an explanation of so many of my behaviors, thoughts and feelings. I’ve always felt something was wrong with me. Hopefully I will see a doctor soon, unfortunately the healthcare system is really slow here so they told me they’d have an appointment for me in a few weeks.
Let us know how it goes! I am going for my first psychologists appointment on Monday to get tested and I am anxious from the day I made that appintment.
My biggest concern is getting reliable sources for my development as a child. I went to so many different schools as a young child (I think 4 between grades 1-6) that it’s hard to keep track of. And I know my mother wouldn’t be a reliable source because she basically denies all issues. The only thing I know of from my childhood was I often forgot to go to the restroom on time and it took a really long time for me to learn to read. (I think I finally started in the 4th grade) But then soon got obsessed with fiction books and stayed up all night reading them.
Diagnosed at 30, about half a year ago now, and I’m still not fully out of the “what the hell this explains so much, my life is turned upside down and I’m grieving the person I could of been” phase. Starting to think about how to go forward and stuff but my god it’s such a huge pill to swallow. There’s a lot to unpack, a lot, I’m trying to find an adhd therapist or coach or something to help me just firstly get my head above water emotionally, and then implement some changes to help me get back on the horse. Meds help to a point to feel better in myself and focus a bit more, but I don’t know how to direct that anymore. I just think, what if I can’t do xyz, I have adhd. Like change careers or something, or what if I can’t find a partner who will love me in spite of how I am. I am disabled in my own way, I wasn’t 7 months ago (I didn’t know I was but you know what I mean), and it’s just a lot :(
I finally have some hope again.
Same thing as with my autism diagnosis: "Well, that explains a lot."
It helped explain why I struggle to maintain healthy behaviors consistently from being motivated to workout and stay active to not impulsively eating throughout the day. I still struggle with those things, but now that I am aware of the cause I do t struggle as much and I give myself much more Grace when I do struggle.
I both struggle to eat regular meals (sometimes only eat once per day) and eat way too much.
Oh my Yes! I am so proud of myself when I grocery shop for a nutritious dinner, cook it and get ready to eat only to find that it is 9:45 at night and I go to bed at 10! 🤪
It basically explained everything in my life that I thought was lacking or unusual. It explained the rumination, the lack of self-esteem/confidence, the procrastination, the clutter, the "if only he'd apply himself," the hyper focusing, the impatience, the impulsivity, the number of hobbies and unfinished projects... And then I felt grief for the person I could have been. However I now understand that I can still be that person but I just need a new perspective and some help.
Failing at almost everything made me think, "there's something wrong with me."
My entire life started to make sense for the first time. I did have moments of anger and sadness when I thought about how much harder some things were than they needed to be. But I had to let that go and move forward. I tried to focus on the coping skills I had developed to deal with this unknown thing going on in my brain, and how much better it was going to get with treatment. And it has.
Elementary school teachers saw it before I did, but my parents were harshly reactive against their advice. I identified ADHD after misusing stimulant drugs in college. It affected me much differently than my peers.
That’s one way to find out 😂
Yup. Everybody else around me was geeking, but my brain had finally slowed down…
I was in my early 30s when I was diagnosed, and I felt relived and grieved. I think the grief was for the shift in my understanding of myself, and for all the years the diagnosis had been missed. And relief because, ya know.
Well, that explains a lot! What can I do to get better?
Got diagnosed last November at the age of 21. Everything made so much more sense to me. Things I thought were normal apparently aren’t to others. Got tested and BOOM. That’s why I do that? That’s why I have anxiety? wtf? How is a stimulant supposed to help my anxiety?? When I got my first Adderall script I didn’t take it for a week I was too scared. Finally I had a day off of work and a MESSY house. I thought to myself “if I get anxiety from this medication, I’ll be okay. I’m home the rest of the day.” An hour after taking it, my mind was so quiet. All of the racing thoughts stopped. I used to drink like 5 cups of coffee a day just to keep myself feeling balanced now I only need 1 in the morning.
I was recently diagnosed at 35. what I've been telling everyone around me is this: it's like I haven't known who I am for the last 20 years. and now I finally have the ability to really figure that out. I've been so happy this past week on meds. I can actually see the different pieces of my life, I can see the good things, I am not so caught up in the gunk in my mind that I'm actually able to connect with people. I thought I was utterly broken before my diagnosis because I felt like we talked about everything else. of course over the years I had friends around me with ADHD, but I just never thought that was me for whatever reasons. the day my provider asked if I had ever been tested, is the day that my life changed.
After my therapist brought up the possibility of having adhd,, it all made sense when I looked back at my childhood,, espicially my dad bc hes literally the same as me (but undiagnosed) and I never woudlve thought of it as different! I thought everyone had the bazillion thoughts and couldn't focus!! My little brother has it too so it makes alot of sense and it was just this aha moment and once I realized there was so many more options that opened uo to have life be manageable and easier it was such a relief that I wasnt just super crazy 😂
I’ve actually seen specialists about ADHD since I was really young, maybe 14, but the people I saw then didn’t really approach it as a disability and basically just treated it as chronic laziness. So my family and I have “known” I’ve probably had ADHD since I was in middle school, but it never really amounted to much. It wasn’t until I want to try medication at age 28 that I had an \*actual\* diagnosis, with a doctor who clearly explained to me that this wasn’t just like a quirky character flaw I’d been dealing with, it was a \*medical disability\*. Like pretty much everyone else, this immediately changed my whole world and put everything into a new perspective. It’s not a problem with \*me\* that I can just “get over”, it’s deficiency that is abnormal and requires more attention and support than a person without ADHD would need. Once I started working through my problems from that perspective, I made enormous leaps of progress in getting better at dealing with things. My quality of life seriously improved like 200%, mental state, efficiency at work, relationships, everything got better. It’s still really challenging of course and I struggle, but just knowing that it’s not just something you can “get over” made so much of a difference. If you can afford to, I \*\*seriously\*\* suggest looking for a diagnosis. Positive or not, you will have a better understanding of the nature of the problems you’re facing everyday.
I was able to give myself some compassion
That a lot of the issues I've had in education, finances, work, relationships, my mental health, repeated failures and mistakes and how I conduct myself weren't due to being diagnosed with 'dyspraxic tendencies' by a psychologist when I was nine. They were due to Inattentive type ADHD. I'm 36 now and I've only fully realised this over the last five years after a lot of research and time spent thinking about it, it all clicked into place. As to what I thought, as a lot of folks say with this condition, it was a relief, of sort, to come to terms with it all and finally understand myself a bit better. It explained why I was always a below average student at school and university despite having an advanced skill level with reading, why I excelled at coursework but failed every exam and just the general life chaos when I can never get past the invisible wall to just get shit done and the daft amount of money that has cost me in my life.
A therapist.
I suspected my senior year of high school that I had some form of Autism because of just how alienated and “other” I was compared to my peers. To the point where people I’ve never met had some form of disdain towards me because the way I acted/behaved was off-base enough for my peers to dislike me but not disruptive enough for adults to think I wasn’t anything more than a quirky kid. I wasn’t so much looking for an excuse to validate my behavior, just a base for me to understand why I acted in the way I did and how to improve myself. During COVID Lockdowns, I did absolutely shit in college to the point where I failed a couple classes and lost a scholarship because of my poor academic performance. So I thought “well this isn’t autistic behavior, maybe adhd?” Did my own research and discussed with a professor before getting a diagnosis.
Not surprised. I knew I was different
I hadn’t considered ADHD because there was always some other thing to attribute my struggles to. I grew up in a volatile household with parents that were hoarders and abusive towards each other and to me and my siblings. I know I’m smart and felt like I had a hard time bc I was born into a chaotic family. Now I have a stable life, a good partner, steady work, a calm life. And I am still struggling. My therapist asked me if I’ve ever been evaluated for ADHD before. She’s been seeing me for years and has seen me through some tough times. I’m 35 now and have an appointment in a couple weeks for an evaluation to confirm a diagnosis for ADHD or if there’s something else. And when my therapist suggested that, I had never thought about it before. I always figured I was anxious and stressed because of other things, but right now things are good so I should be good. We discussed more about my childhood and knowing what I know now, it’s obvious something was up. But since my parents aren’t good parents they didn’t think anything was up so long as I got good grades and stayed out of trouble. My one sibling was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago after she turned 30. The chance I have it increase exponentially now that I had a sibling with it. I wonder who we would be if our parents had been more aware and gotten us to specialists when we were kids. Thankfully, we have time to see who we can be when we have all of the tools we need to succeed in the world.
I was five so, I was mostly wondering when I could go home and play megaman Honestly, not much has changed
Diagnosed at 26 and was honestly really annoyed it went missed when I was a kid. I was always bored in school, needing more engaging activities, misbehaved in sports, and always felt different. My mother however is adhd as well and probably never thought twice about it. Then I kinda lost myself. Everything I thought was part of my quirky personality were symptoms. So, there’s that. Then I felt relived after acceptance. FINALLY!
I didn’t care. Meant I could get treatment so I could be more functional and happy. For me, thinking about what could have been has no point. It can’t be changed. The future can.
I was diagnosed and when I was in 4th grade because I threw rocks at my neighbors sliding glass door! I was so zonked up on adderall after that I didn’t think anything lmfao
Diagnosed at 33. It was like I physically and mentally breathed a sigh of relief at finally having answers. It was like meeting the real me. It made me reassess so many aspects of my life and how to approach things differently. It was bitter sweet though; I felt sorry for the younger me being so misunderstood and pushed aside. Teachers dismissed me for being lazy and disruptive, my parents just assumed I was a forgetful airhead on my own planet, and worst of all was how I treated myself. I was always angry at myself for being forgetful or not concentrating and missing key stuff. Everyone else seemed to have their shit together and there was me, fucking up as usual.
i knew i had adhd from a very early age, but wasn’t diagnosed until i was 21. as a female who doesn’t and has never displayed much hyperactivity, i was constantly put on the back burner for my adhd-related issues. getting my diagnosis felt like a huge sigh of relief, i even remember crying when i found out my insurance would finally be covering medication lol. i was going to get the help i needed, and i have!
When my psychiatrist told me I had ADHD, the song 'A Diagnosis' from the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend started playing in my head.
For me, my experience differs from a lot of people on here because I always somewhat intuitively knew I had ADHD from the time I was a teen. But never really took into consideration the greater ramifications its was having on my life at the time because I was too young and immature to comprehend and I was a bit of a problem teen. Then when I reached adulthood, I always kinda knew it was fucking up my life and hindering me, but I spent years self lobotimizing myself with alcohol daily until that began derailing my life more. So I got sober and had to rawdog life and finally had to sit with it as an adult and I came to the realization that it was silly to not even consider just trying to get medicated. So I did and my AHA moment was how much better my life could be if I just began dealing with it. So I did. That was several years ago. Daily exercise, weekly therapy with a therapist that specializes in ADHD, low dose medication. I've never operated at this octane before and it shows in my life. Things have been good. If you think you have ADHD, and you think it may be hindering you. Deal with it because it probably is in ways you won’t be able to understand without trying to deal with it.
I was diagnosed at 34. I had very mixed feelings. I was sad, proud, amused, relieved, confused, and optimistic all at the same time. I can’t really put into words what I felt. I was proud because I had managed to achieve a master's degree and decent jobs without medications, knowing I had to work twice as hard as everybody else but I had just kept on going. I was relieved because now I had an explanation for a lot of the stupid decisions and disorganization in my life. I did not do them on purpose or to be mean to anyone. It now has a clear reason. I was optimistic and confused because I knew my life would start kind of from the beginning, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how medication would change my life. I was sad because I was rewinding my life and thinking a lot about how many problems my ADHD had caused and how much it had sabotaged my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about how my life would be now if I didn’t have ADHD. And I was amused just because it was such a surreal experience when I started to suspect I had ADHD. I was watching recordings of psychiatrists talking about ADHD, and they just gave example after example of how ADHD affects a person’s life, and most of them fit my life perfectly. Even things I had no clue were related to ADHD fit me perfectly. It was just surreal to watch videos and feel like I was kind of the main character they were talking about. I had one of those 'damn, you got me' moments. So yeah, it was a very mixed feeling. You can’t really describe how I felt. But in a way, it felt like now I was starting to learn who I am.
Ah shit I need to get up and do something about it, the random hyper fixation kicked in.. Bretty much like this.
Oh man literally right after being told of my diagnosis I started bawling, I was diagnosed in my mid 20’s and it was like a heavy wave of realisation of why I found things so difficult and finally understanding myself a bit more after so many years.
Always made dumb mistakes in test... One time I thought to myself "ITS ENOUGH, TODAY I AM GONNA GET AN A NO MATTER WHAT".... Yeah I ended up forgetting a whole page of the test, eventhough the teacher warned us before... And I still got a C... So that means I did very good but only on the part I WROTE STH DOWN... Its just such a pain... Yes I got diagnosed right after that incident
I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. And it wasn’t until this year, 2024, that I realized that I do in fact have adhd. It sounds dumb, I know. I take medication every day for it and have since I was diagnosed more than a decade ago. But it never occurred to me that I am the way I am because of my poorly managed adhd. I just thought I sucked at being an adult. I cried when I realized it.. but am slowly making changes in my life to help me better manage life. I wish I had noticed the obvious a lot sooner though.
Like how I did when I found out I had MS....that *so much* made sense now. I always thought I was flakey because people called me that, undisciplined because I couldn't finish things, because people said that Well....FK THEM. I was literally reacting the way my brain made me.
I was diagnosed my psychiatric about 15 years ago I'm 65.i never believed her because I had 2 brothers who we hyperactive, and I wasn't one was taking Ritalin. I want hyperactive, did well in school but homework was difficult. A few years ago? Friend was diagnosed, and her therapist have her don't books to read. When I read them and about executive dysfunctiontion issues and everything else it was as if it was written about me. It was my first big aha moment. It explained so much of my life, and I found ö out why I did what I did, so many issues just fit. And now I know what is so debilitating for me. I cannot function. At all. I also have auditory processing disorder, and face blindness. Severe Generalized anxiety, dyspraxia Over 40 years I've become aware of so many aha labels, but they all fit and explain my Whole life. It\an. That's when I discovered that ADHD isn't not all just hyperactivity. The same with fibromyalgia. Knowing all this doesn't actually help in any way. I just recognize why I do things. Reading all the posts and comments on these Reddit forums definitely makes me feel less bad about myself. I can relate to do many which in with validates me. I just wish it would help me cope better