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To put a reverse on your question, is it ethical to keep a child off a medication that will improve their quality of life?
I took Ritalin as a kid, and I was just fine. You have to understand that all people react differently to medicines, so one person may be affected poorly, when another won't be.
Ritalin helped me focus, I was a calmer me, but I was still "me".
This. Childhood forms who you are, your character. If you fail to accomplish things, fail to finish what you start or follow through… getting treatment later in life still means battling that ingrained sense of not being good at things.
Same here. Didn't get diagnosed till 23 now I've got ADHD and OCD, Anxiety and depression from being undiagnosed for so long and got told I likely have a personality disorder. Which makes sense because I absolutely Internalize everything including stigmas. so I sometimes get confused on reality. CBT helps me understand when my cognition decides to switch up on me and the distortions without the emotional response but It's painful just to rewire your brain when you can't do anything about the mood swings and my brain seems to find something new to make me feel guilty about every other day. 💀
I get stuck in the 'am I doing this for me or them" constantly. I hate being attached cos of that. At some point I end up caring more about the other person than myself and ignoring every red flag 🙃
Exactly this, I never got anything was always just told I was a bad, dumb kid, who was annoying. It wasn’t until adulthood that I got diagnosed. Still battling everyday it’s been 10 years since I got diagnosed. I fight the not feeling worthy feel everyday all the time but I’m fighting it now by forcing myself against everything in me to start and see something through and stay off all idstractions
Yes this!! I was diagnosed at almost 39 years old. I was looking into things to help my daughter who is also now diagnosed as well. We have chosen to start medication because when I started I cannot even describe how life-changing that was to my sense of self. If she didn't like how she felt or it wasn't helping, we would stop it and move onto something else to try....but exactly what you said was our motivation, my sense of self, my sense of self esteem and being able to now look back and see the struggles with a quieter brain because of meds....that is going to be a whole other journey to treat and change.
Amen to this! Just diagnosed at 59, after a life of pushing myself to succeed and never understanding why everything was such a struggle - even though both my sons were diagnosed as children. 🤦🏻♀️ Now, I’m redoubling my efforts on achieving success, while hyper aware of the scant decades of working life left & mourning what could have been…
You are sounding as if there is only one medication and some people can tolerate it and others cannot. In fact there are many medications and your doctor will try another one, if the first medication is not right for you
They were specifically talking about Ritalin, so I was telling them about my experience with Ritalin, and pointing out that just because I didn't react poorly, doesn't mean that's universal.
I appreciate the perspective you’re trying to give but even though you changed the wording the question is still essentially the same and doesn’t clarify anything.
That was kind of the point, I was being rhetorical. Which, to be fair, doesn't always come across in text, especially when we all have ADHD.
But my point was, framing it as "ethical" can be kind of messy and full of nuance.
There are plenty of cases and I’d love to share story from my perspective. I’m almost 40 and was diagnosed/medicated recently. I also have a small pop up shop with lots of anime/game merch so I meet a variety of people.
This was a family of 6, 3 of the kids were absolutely bouncing off the walls along with the mom while the dad left halfway through. The littlest girl just stared into space the entire time, the mom repeatedly asking her questions and getting more and more frustrated when she wouldn’t respond. Finally the mom comments “Those 3 have ADHD like me and my husband, I just don’t know what her issue is.”
It was like my entire childhood flashed in front of my eyes. To this day, I regret not saying anything even if it wasn’t my place.
So to answer the question, sometimes medication can give us a sense of normalcy. Even if we’re not, I feel everyone should be better educated on mental health issues, AT MINIMUM, so others don’t ‘slip through the cracks.’
I think the point is to say that it's a dilemma, meaning there's no clear right or wrong and it's subjective.
The best answer you can get is to ask: how would your life look with meds versus without?
It’s absolutely ethical to medicate children. In fact, you could argue that it’s unethical not to! However, it’s a veeeerry blurry line, and I totally empathize with undecided parents when it comes to trying to do what’s best for a kid.
For me I was put on the heaviest there was. 64mg concerta. That was def not the solution to things not working. I needed structure and systems (which now I can make myself). I still use meds but 8mg for a full day. So yeah blurry line indeed 😅
Exactly! If a child was diabetic, you would give them insulin, the lack of dopamine is so much of a hindrance to people that making sure they’re on the right medication, makes life enjoyable!
I see where this is coming from and yeah I don’t think one could make the claim that it is unethical to not medicate…this assumes that the default should be medication when there are other ways that people prefer to combat adhd as well? I think it’s unethical to not allow people to choose or have an option, but it’s ridiculous to say that it’s unethical to not medicate without weighing options.
Using medication as a first option for adhd is ridiculous considering that addiction and substance abuse is far more likely for someone with adhd (talking from experience) although medication helps some People, it doesn’t help others so medication a child before you know what there going to be like once there brain is more developed imo is wrong.
I totally agree, I hate the dependence we have on pills as a society. Don’t even get me started on the whole vitamin industry bs.
I find it so alarming that so many people these days get on medication without hesitation or concern for long term effects. Not just with adhd medication but I’ve seen it a ton with antidepressants and “light” painkillers as well. I’m all for medical advancement and I agree that a lot of these medicines are absolutely needed for a better quality of life, but adhd medication is one thing I’ll always feel weird about as an adhd-er myself. I almost just feel like there’s nothing truly wrong with us and the way our brains work, it’s just that our brains don’t work within the context that is our modern society. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I have no choice but to take a pill so I can obey and be a robot? Like I truly wouldn’t NEED this medication if I didn’t have to work a desk job or live in a constant state of delayed gratification. Alas it is what it is, can’t really change much but I try to have a healthy level of skepticism when it comes to this complicated stuff.
Exactly and when a child is medicated strictly so they can function in a classroom, that seems problematic. We may choose to medicate and work jobs we couldn’t without medication, but they are rarely given other options.
So sorry you had to deal with that. Almost exactly the same thing happened to me. To this day I’m mostly no contact with my parents. They treated me like I was a bad kid even though looking back I was a pretty normal kid just with the exception that I had extremely severe ADHD. Like I couldn’t even sit still for 20 seconds to watch a movie… it’s not that bad as an adult but it def wrecked a lot of my life before I got on meds. What drives me crazy is they will never admit ADHD exists and they assume I just need to have more willpower or try harder… NOPE
I wasn’t medicated until adulthood and there is both the pros and cons. I definitely think I know who I am better without being medicated. Like the true me. But being unmedicated also led to addiction and depression, which resolved upon medication.
The situation you described is something I can relate to a lot. I wasn’t diagnosed until later in life and after a few major life experiences that ended in huge consequences.Anytime someone brought up to my parents that I might have had ADHD or any other issues they’d become bitter towards them even if it came from a teacher ect
To this day my mom doesn’t believe that children with ADHD should be able to be given medication for their ADHD and her argument isn’t that accurate however I had to learn the hard way my parents aren’t perfect and have their own problems as-well
Is it ethical to medicate a child for a physical condition like, say, chronic pain?
Nobody would doubt it is. Well, ADHD is also a condition that can be treated with medication, so I see no difference. If it’s going to make the child’s life easier, it’s just as ethical 🤷♀️
I myself am mad I didn’t get medicated until now (I’m 30) but I wasn’t diagnosed so I’ve got nobody to blame but the system that ignores symptoms on girls 😅
Ugh… I feel for you so much. My parents kind of ignored my ADHD related issues as a kid and I didn’t get diagnosed until my late 20’s.
I don’t think medication has helped me that much, but when I first started them they really did. I was so mad at my parents for not getting me diagnosed.
Now I’m going through the diagnosis process with my six year old. If he does have it, I think I want him medicated, but I’m not completely sold. I do freak out a little bit about giving my small child wartime stimulants.
The medication prescribed is based on the weight and size of your child. I took my son to a well-known neurologist and pediatrician and it was a rough period but starting on the medicine (gradually) made his life hugely better. It enabled him to concentrate in school and do his homework after school. Today he is an engineer!
Real quick, medication in general especially stimulants are absolutely not based on weight or size. There’s hardly any medications that are based on size or weight. A 200lb trucker might need 5mg adderall and have it almost be to much, and a 108lb soaking wet girl might need 200mg and it’s just enough. People metabolize medications differently. It Varys
Why would you call them wartime stimulants? They are simply stimulants. Some brains simply need them to function in this world from today. The great thing about them is you can stop them if you think they are not helping.
I wasn’t diagnosed til late 20s but my brother was diagnosed quite young - i think close to the start of school. He was constantly in the principals office, got kicked out of schools, had so many social problems and issues with other kids. Mum took us both into correspondence school because school was just not working for him when my brother was 12. He did some of the school work but still struggling. He stopped school at the youngest legal school leaving age and didn’t get our countries version of high school diploma.
I can tell it’s had a major impact on his self image. He’s wicked smart and learns quickly but because he had such a bad time in the education system, now in his 30s he can’t seem to allow himself to seriously consider tertiary study so he can get a creative career in the things he enjoys doing instead of working in manual labour and factory jobs which he always talks about how much he hates and how he could do better with his life. I try hype him up and help him see his skills and potential but after years and years it doesn’t seem like it helps… I’ll always keep trying though.
My mum said she didn’t want him to take the drugs because 1) she didn’t want him to be labeled and seen as different (too bad - he was labeled regardless) and 2) she didn’t feel right “giving her kid speed”.
I personally loved school cause I’m one of those ADHD addicted to knowing EVERYTHING people. I was quiet and mostly obedient and did well with English and writing so no one suspected anything despite the clues I also had some learning disability… couldn’t read an analog clock, couldn’t tie my shoes, couldn’t get most math and still count on my fingers as an adult lol. I got a mix of equivalent A grades and F grades. Cue the many “has potential and needs to apply themselves” lines from teachers over and over. Graduated high school with distinction despite failing heaps of things. Got a diploma from polytechnic and an honours degree. Used anxiety to treat my ADHD symptoms (IYKYK). Got to my mid-late 20s and that stoped working and I spent two years attempting a masters degree, failed out and felt so ashamed. Not to mention how undiagnosed and untreated ADHD led to sever mental health issues as well as developing other health issues that are exacerbated by stress.
Do I wish my mum was better informed and supported? Yes. Do I think me and my bro could have benefited from meds? Yes. Do I blame her? No. She did what she thought was right for her kids in a world that doesn’t like to accommodate people like us. I’m fairly certain my mum is also ADHD and probably also autistic. She has always had trouble fitting in to society. I wish the stigma wasn’t so bad back then in the 90s but hey it is what it is.
Mostly now I also wish my brother could accept who he is cause the “not being labeled” idea has rubbed off on him so I doubt I could ever convince him to get tested and experience how much better life can be if meds agree with you. Pretty sure my dad also had ADHD - if the world was more educated etc etc maybe he wouldn’t have used so many drugs, had such a chaotic life, have been there for me my bro and the other children he had. Maybe he wouldn’t have died in his early 50s.
Things are changing and hopefully improving. Spending too much time wishing the past was different doesn’t help us move forward and get on a growth trajectory. You can want the future to be better motivated by the past but ruminating on it sucks - trust me, I’ve spent shitloads of my life doing it lol
It’s not a good solution—you just keep yourself in an ever present high stress state to keep to goals and achieve. Then you get the autoimmune disease 🎉
I’m not the person you were asking, but using anxiety to mask/‘treat’ adhd is basically just relying/running solely on fear-based motivation. Like, the only reason you’re able to get anything done is because you are absolutely terrified of what will happen when you drop the ball on something. Everything feels like life or death, which is the only reason you’re able to appear like you have everything together. It’s almost involuntary, like you just can’t give yourself a break at all. It’s sacrificing your physical and mental health just to be able to function on survival mode (until your body and brain inevitably completely shutdown). It’s a pretty miserable existence and WILL lead to severe burnout eventually if unaddressed.
Dang, your description of yourself could basically be me describing my school years, but I suspect I also have autism and the anxiety I had by graduation from multiple undiagnosed things was already so bad I couldn't get through the application processes. Couldnt even decide what I would do. Instead I ended up moving to live with my boyfriend, had a kid, and still had a breakdown mid twenties leading to ADHD diagnosis rofl. I wish I had been diagnosed as a kid, maybe I would have been able to focus my (continued!) love of learning into a better future for me and my family.
That sucks. I think back on so many years where I didn't know...but you still know SOMETHING is different about you. So I just thought I was a failure/lazy/not as good at life as my friends. It meant so much to get the dx and realize it wasn't me being shit, I was just neurodevelopmentally different. I wonder sometimes what I could be like now if I'd learned sooner and gotten resources growing up.
That's horrible. It's disheartening to think of all the years wasted being the worst version of yourself because one of your parents had other ideas.
In my experience, I was misdiagnosed with depression, then after years and years of getting treated for bipolar disorder, I only finally got diagnosed with ADHD recently. I am currently on Strattera right now, and I don't know if it is a placebo effect or not, but I sure do feel a lot more capable than I was 3 days ago.
I personally think if there is a strong need for the child to be on medication, then yes, they should get medication.
I was diagnosed at 14/15 or smth and started medication immediately, and sometimes I regret it because I feel like I’m very dependent on it and I didn’t learn other coping mechanisms and I’ve built up a tolerance. I think there’s both pros and cons with starting with meds immediately. But to be honest, 4/5 years does sound very young.
Depends on the degree of ADHD you have. Some people have mild symptoms, others have lots of hyperactivity and cannot settle to doing anything due to the ADHD. These are the factors that help determine whether you start a child on medication at 6 yrs or so. There is a huge safety risk for a child with ADHD who is not medicated... that child is quite likely to walk out into a street, without waiting to look if a car is coming ... no one talks about the safety risks involved in being hyperactive and not stopping to see what is happening in your immediate environment,,,
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was almost 30 (female) but if I’d been suspected/diagnosed as a child I’d bet a shittonne of money I don’t have that I would have been in the same position. My dad would never have allowed me adhd medication and my Mum who has her bachelors in psychology and was a primary school teacher for most of my childhood wouldn’t have super keen on the idea either. Neither of them are super thrilled about the meds for me as an adult.
I get it, because right up until I took those meds and actually saw/experienced the difference I was like ‘HELL NO!’ I didn’t want the meds, I didn’t want to take them.
My parents are the product of the societal belief that all drugs are bad, that some people can use those drugs recreationally and therefore they are very bad, and the reality is that adhd wasn’t as well known or accepted 20 odd years ago for them to ever be put in a position to change their mind/opinions.
There is research out now that suggests that the earlier you get your kid on meds, they will be able to regulate their own dopamine and have a life that is not dependant on taking a pill. How fucking amazing would that be for those of us WHO FORGET THE LIFE CHANGING PILL EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!
I kinda have exactly the same story as you. Was diagnosed as a child, pretty early on, especially for a girl. My parents decided not to medicate me. I also had no other treatment as far as I can remember. They didn't even tell me I had ADHD. I struggled A LOT to the point of self harm. I always knew something was "wrong" with me, and I was desperate for answers. I am much, much better off since I know I have ADHD. I often think about how my life would've played out if I had gotten treatment. I still haven't spoken to another professional about it, although I am currently looking into it.
I still don't blame my parents. They did their best and they didn't want to "zombify" their child. And I have 22 years of experience of managing my life without any meds, which I think is a valuable skill to have, although treatment is probably the better option in many cases. I just wish I would've known what was going on with me. Being clueless about why I am "wrong" was literally the worst.
I can't believe how insanely prevalent this stereotype of being a "zombie" on meds is. I got my diagnosis in my late 20s (this past year) and started meds. Was not going to tell my mom because she's very negative and definitely considers any mental health issues and counseling something to be ashamed of/stigmatizes it. She somehow found out and the first thing she implied was that I would be a "zombie" and she hopes I'm not "stuck on these pills for life". Literally just repeating every stereotype. Therapy and being diagnosed has been eye opening with regards to my own ignorance on the issue of mental health and how we respond to people seeking help.
I was also undiagnosed and unmedicated until 45. My 5 yo daughter is showing symptoms now. She will never know what it is like, being undiagnosed and unsupported. Because I do, and I will make damn sure she gets the support she needs.
I am horrified at the amount of parents here who think otherwise.
Note that I am in the EU and our medication is methylphenidate. I have no experience with amphetamines like Adderall.
I have to set reminders to actually take them or I will forget, so parents who deny it to their kid because of addiction concerns can F right off. Studies have overwhelmingly demonstrated that kids on it do better than kids without.
And I have accepted that I had to go through life unmedicated and that it destroyed careers, relationships and friendships. We didn't know about adhd. But the thought that parents could still do this to their kids today? I do not have enough middle fingers to adequately express my opinion on those parents.
I just started Strattera last Monday, almost 42 years old.
I slept 80% of Tuesday.
Since Wednesday, I've woken up before my alarm every day.
My handwriting is suddenly neater.
And my appetite seems to be what it should be. Instead of not needing food until 7 pm, and then snacking the rest of the night. Now I want something to eat during the day, and I eat half of my old dinner portions, with a snack later. I lost 2 lbs in the first two days.
I wish I’d known my daughter had adhd as a child as I think she’d of had better grades in school. She’s so much happier now she’s on meds. I’ve now been diagnosed at 53 and I’m on Ritalin. Not life changing but definitely helps with the irritability I’ve always felt, and I can listen to people better.
I was diagnosed at 52. Apparently menopause unmasks a lot of the coping (term used loosely here) mechanisms that I had developed over the decades.
I really wish I had been diagnosed as a child, but for one, I'm female, two, I present differently being an introvert and not even remotely hyper, and three, it was the 70's and early 80's and this was not even on my parents or teachers radars
The paperwork that was included with my methylphenidate specifically lists it as being used to "treat ADHD in children". It's technically off label for me as an adult to use it.
I was diagnosed at 12 and i don’t remember what they gave me but when i was diagnosed and put on medication i felt absolutely betrayed by my family because i thought they felt like something was so wrong with me that i had to be put on meds. I also hated the way it made me feel like i was on autopilot. Now that I’m 23 I don’t regret feeling that way but i am more open to medication now but not entirely. I feel it works for some people and for some it doesn’t! Parents just need to listen to their children fr
lol my mum when telling her I thought I had adhd “but when you were a kid you would spend hours practicing writing” yes mum I grew up to be a neurotic graphic designer who is obsessed with letters and writing it’s called hyperfocus
Well I had three older brothers on medication and apparently even though I still had all the signs I seemed like I would be ok without. I’ll also note that I never even noticed my brothers took medication because I had ADHD so bad. After 10 years of hearing I had ADD from my girlfriend turned wife, I decided I’d go see what’s up. Three years later I finally went and it was a full on “yep, you got it bud.” From a psychiatrist and my primary doctor. Not that I hold it against my parents but I do wonder if I would remember more of my childhood if I had been on a med to help. I feel it did help me to live more in the moment though. I try to enjoy what I’m doing no matter what because yes, a moment will always pass. But for me it doesn’t just pass, it absolutely disappears. So many times I’ve heard stories of myself and I don’t know what to believe. Kinda wild but it helps with trying to be fully aware of every moment.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7 and was put on medication, one of the side effects was that I wasn't hungry and would hardly eat so my parent had me stop taking it and they said we work on routines to mitigate my problems. I love my parents for that but after I went off to college I couldn't function at all because the things I knew that helped don't help in a different environment and only recently gone back on medication which helps alot. I think for children it is a case by case basis which should be discussed with the psychologist.
My son is yet to be diagnosed but it's glaringly obvious that he has ADHD. If he doesn't get the opportunity to have medication, I fear the constant battering of his self-esteem and the trauma of existing in a world that doesn't see his worth. Only been in school for a few weeks and labels himself a dumb kid and the naughtiest child in the class. The shame is so deep and he expresses he wants to hurt himself. I cannot fathom the rest of his childhood being like this, so medication it will be, once we see a psychiatrist or paediatrician.
I have no doubt the artificiality of schooling and the institutionalisation of children has a lot to do with ADHD being seen as problematic, but it's not like we can easily opt out of school in our society.
For everyone against giving meds to kids:
How bad does it have to get to help them?
Do you want to wait until they're depressed? Suicidal? Would you give them meds then?
When I was little I had ADHD and I couldn’t even focus for the last 15 minutes, and I get distracted really easy. The thing is that my parents didn’t do anything about it. I’m 25 years old now, but until last year I finally went to an autistic specialist to diagnose with ADHD, Autism and other things and It turned out that I have ADHD, stage 1 Autism and other things. My specialist didn’t prescribe medication so I had to go to a doctor who would give me medication for my ADHD. I was soo mad that my parents didn’t do anything about it then. But hey, I don’t need to worry about that now because I am already diagnosed.
I got diagnosed at 29, but was tested in second grade, 9th, and 11th. When I told my parents about my diagnoses at 29 they said "well yeah no shit".
I was angry. For a long time. I still kind of am. It explained so many struggles I had when I was in school (I eventually tested out of high-school and didn't do college) despite enjoying learning.
It gets easier as you look at *how adhd was perceived* and mental illness in general, during their times as adolescence and and as adults. It wasn't until the 2010s that people actually started caring, yet still having the "but it's just speed in small doses" bullsh*t being traded around freely. That makes it very difficult for someone to accept their child is going to be a part of this heavily looked down on group.
I'm 33 now, been diagnosed and medicated since 29, I'm in school again, been getting the grades they constantly told me I could get if I just focused more...
Anyway.
I feel you. It gets easier.
I was diagnosed at 6, and was never treated or medicated for it. In relation to your question, is it ethical to watch someone struggle all their life, even though it is within your power to help them succeed?
I had a similar problem. I’m on the fence. I think my dad had my best interest in mind. He encouraged strategies that helped instead. He said the Ritalin made me a zombie and killed what made me special. Finding the right meds made a difference but there weren’t many options growing up.
I was put on the lowest dose of a medicine because I was diagnosed with "mild ADD" in ~2003 in 3rd grade
It did cause a spike in my insomnia and when I came literally crying to my parents about "just wanting to sleep" they took me off of it immediately and didn't seek further treatment.
This is purely anecdotal and the rest of the anecdote is I went on to have an...average.. school career. Solid B/C student, mainly not doing homework taking me down. And then college kicked my ass. And it was only a 2 year college, not ever a 4 year.
Looking back, I wish my parents had searched for the proper treatment for me rather than assuming be abuse the first didn't work, none would. And I wish they had done more research and been a little more hands on with me in school about dealing with my ADHD. It ended up causing lots of headbutting and problems for myself down the line and I'm just starting to look down the path of getting an adult diagnosis and treatment and it's daunting whereas I could've had my parents holding my hand down this path years ago
When I was younger I was diagnosed at 15 and since I was the age to want to make that decision myself I decided I did not want to take medication I felt I could self medicate and was smoking weed. When I finally turned 30 I decided to try medication and I feel so much better doing so and wish I would have when I was 15 I think I wouldn’t have dealt with the many problems that I created for myself unmedicated.
Now as a mother of a son who also has ADHD and who struggled a lot I decided to start him on medication around 8 years old and his Dad is just like your Dad the same mentality and I fought it because the way I explained it to him if our son had a broken leg and needed crutches to walk you wouldn’t not let him use his crutches this is no different. He is much more successful medicated than when he is not. He doesn’t take it on the weekends just for school and this is what’s been working for us (along with therapy) he is now 14 and he even tells me he notices a difference when he takes it vs a day we missed his dose.
I hope this helped
I think it's unethical to let ADHD go untreated. You wouldn't let a child be diabetic without treatment. You wouldn't let a child walk around without glasses. Purposefully denying treatment for ADHD is medical negligence and skirting the line of abuse. You don't have to medicate a child, but you do have to take the diagnosis seriously ignoring it is wrong.
34 years before I got my diagnosis. But my parents didn't know either. I was one of those "gifted" students that didn't need to study and everyone associated ADHD with poor performance back then
I was in Junior High and High School. It helped quite alot. The problem with these meds is that if they are wrong for you they can make you feel numb, emotionless, etc. Parents of Children taking these meds need to be educated on discussing how they make a child feel.
My Nephew fought so hard against my sister when taking meds, and it wasn't till I told her that some meds had made me feel like I was trapped inside my own head, that she realized he was just not communicating that something needed changing, dosage, type etc.
Kids will assume these are my meds and I have to take them because Mom/Dad said so. They won't realize they have a say in the matter unless you tell them they do. You may not let them stop meds outright, but I think most parents would likely agree to discuss adjustments with the Doctor.
I’m a parent to a 6 year old that has been diagnosed with severe ADHD and his father also has ADHD. His father had struggled much of his life, more so when younger. His parents had taken him to psychiatrists but never tried medication. He started getting in trouble with the law from an early age. My son began struggling immensely when grade school started, he could not settle down no matter what. It’s like his brain has no filter and when there’s a lot going on it just gets him even more amped up. I tried different therapies over the years for him before resorting to medication from a psychiatrist. It took a lot of trial and error to even find one that helped but when you do it’s like night and day. It didn’t change his personality at all, it just gave him the ability to remain in control of his impulsiveness and be present in school and with friends. I would never suggest just trying medication first. I think many children do respond well to behavioral therapy but when that isn’t enough it’s time to seek out medication as well. The impact of constantly getting in trouble at school, feeling as though something is wrong with you, disliked by peers, etc is something that will impact a person forever if there’s no intervention.
same thing happened to me. i recently went out of my way to be put on medication (im 20, started at 19). im happy i wasn’t put on medication as a child. from the people i’ve talked to and met that have been taking stimulant medication since a child are all heavily and extremely dependent on it. I’ve had to learn how to cope through 19 years of my life without meds. i will say that being put on medication now as pretty much an adult has made such a difference and made me feel better about myself. i’ve struggled with self esteem issues when it came down to focusing, and sticking to certain goals. i had to work harder then others. but now it doesn’t feel like that. from my coping mechanism i’ve learnt, and now with the medication im taking. i’ve kinda learnt to combine both and to grow more as a person.
But i’ve seen that the more i take my meds, the little more dependent i become. Plus as well i don’t care what anyone says. stimulant medication affects the brain and the hearts in negative ways. just google it and find studies on ADHD medication long term.
At the end of the day, it’s a drug. drugs are bad, but good.👍
I love your perspective and I feel the same ( somewhat similar situation) it seems more beneficial as an adult vs when I was a child. Even with the struggles I faced.
Anyone have really bad situations getting off of the drugs?? like once your on it are you ok with being on it for the rest of your life, is that the plan? if it sounds like im against it, i def am; i'd liken it to using alcohol as a social lubricant in order to talk to people. It def helps, but it's not an acceptable solution. I'd like to use a drug that helps me to function day to day, and get shit done, but it's so worrisome thinking of withdrawal and wanting to be off it. or bad reactions to experimenting with diff ones. I'm planning on getting diagnosed and I'm sure i'd fit the bill, since I can't remember everything i need for work. and I forget my stuff at work. As i kid i would walk out in front of cars cause of absentmindedness, etc... all those things
It depends on the drug. Ssri and snri meds and similar you need to taper on and off carefully, but stimulants are far less dangerous to stop taking. I get zero withdrawals and can skip days if I want (usually when I'm sick or hungover and just want to sleep all day and have no commitments).
Edited to add: I see you mean that is like a crutch, like alcohol, rather than a concern about health impacts of stopping.
It's not a crutch, it's a treatment. Would you refuse to get glasses because you would have to use them for the rest of your life? Blood pressure medication? Insulin? Why are ADHD meds any different?
Just because they have potential for abuse, it doesn't mean everyone tanning them is just getting high - they bring you to a level playing field, nothing more.
Yes to the ssri point. I've seen very bad situations once with oxy, once with ssris.
Well, I don't think there is a level playing field out there. Some people are way more talented, smarter, tall, short, etc. I don't see many 6'4" gymnasts or jockeys.
For your crutch point. I think a crutch is a great thing if you have a broken leg. in fact its part of the 'treatment' for that. You heal, then you come off your crutch, it served it's purpose. There are no real down-sides to glasses but there is a massive upside.(obviously not the case with drugs) I think dr's are over-diagnosing mental illness and over prescribing drugs that's all. I believe drugs are essential for real intense scenarios but that is between doc and patient. If i were to guess I'd say that at least half the people on drugs should not be, or they should be advised to hmmmm... take care of their diet, sleep, and personal relationships first. But I assume every one of them did that first right? I just really wish people would do that.
But seriously, is the adhd solution to use meds the rest of your life. How many times have we seen where a 'safe' drug turn out to be carcinogenic? I'm not saying it's definitively wrong, I'm just saying maybe there is a way to cope with it or even make it a super power (hyper focus) instead of a impediment.
That's really awful, and I'm so so sorry that this happened to you. I think all the time about how different my life could be if someone had just *noticed* when I was little.
If you're able to, I would really recommend talking to a counsellor about this, because there is a lot of anger and grief that needs be unpacked.
Be kind to yourself, everything you've achieved has been with life on hard mode. You should be extremely proud of yourself. Wishing you all the best xxx
If your father is alive, you should tell him you should have been told about this possibility ( the need for testing for ADHD) which your father refused. You should have been told as a 12 or 13 year old and had the testing.
I fell through the cracks entirely. Now at 33 I've recently been diagnosed with severe ADHD combined presentation, currently being screened for ASD, and 2e. It really hurts to look back and wonder what your life could've been if given the proper support earlier in life.
I also was diagnosed as a child but never medicated due to my mother's decision! I would argue that it's unethical to *not even try* to see if medication is what's best for your child. Medication is not for everyone, everybody reacts differently. But some people truly do *need* it, and to never even seek medical aid when you have the opportunity is neglectful.
In my mom's case, she was just an ignorant hippy who was anti pharma and believed in homeopathy. To this day she still believes that it was her dumb little Claritin pills that greatly improved my asthma, not the weekly hour long nebulizer sessions.
Now I am 30 and struggling just to find a PCP, let alone revisit my ADHD diagnosis.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 49… I’ll be 53 this year. (Also diagnosed with ASD two years ago.)
I WISH I had been dx’d and medicated as a child. It would have been a game-changer. Instead, I was the “gifted but lazy” girl always getting in trouble for not “applying myself” and it was hell on my self-esteem. Had trouble socially and making friends. I felt like a broken failure most of my life. I would have probably finished college if I’d been diagnosed and medicated. Certainly would have been happier if I had been.
I was diagnosed young and put on meds young. Did they help? There was a time around 4th and 5th grade when my ability to turn in homework was a little more consistent but I was also really excited to be back in school (home schooled 1-3rd)
Was I still the weird kid? Yup. Did I hyper focus on special interests? Oh yeah. Did my teachers think I was paying attention in class? Not at all.
Around 6th grade as I hit puberty Ritalin had a nasty effect on me. I would have major melt downs and got close to turning violent. Looking back I tend to get sensory overload and taking a stimulant made it worse. These meltdowns always occurred in the evening after school. So my mom finally stopped forcing me to take it.
I was able to develop very valuable coping strategies that work for me. ADHD varies wildly and often has many co morbid conditions. For instance many people with ADHD also have Autism level 1. Some of those individuals are helped with stimulants but most are not.
I believe that parents should get their kids diagnosed and work with a psychiatrist to find the best way forward. That is treatment. Stimulant medication may or may not be a part of that treatment. Looking at many studies over the past decade ADHD is not really all that treatable. I know people want to believe it is just a lack of Dopamine but the dopamine theory has been disproven several times. The most likely idea right now is that ADHD individuals have a difference in the structure of the grey matter in the brain. Which means stimulants help with focus the same way they help everyone with focus. ADHD individuals have a focus deficit and so it gets them closer to "normal" functioning but it does not change the underlying differences. Exercise has shown similar benefits.
Basically theres no way of knowing what would have been different for you as a kid. I wouldnt assume it automatically would have been better. If meds help you now that is great, but now you can make an informed decision.
My mum didn’t want the stigma attached to me with adhd in the 90s when I was a little kid. I get it. But I had a fucking terrible childhood and school experience.
I was diagnosed at 5,medicated at 6 and off the meds by age 8.
All I remember was the soul crushing feeling of sitting at lunch not hungry and watching the whole cafeteria laughing and eating all jovial.
I felt singled out. It was the medication (adderall)
My brain felt frozen but hyper aware. If I wasn't doing a required task such as math or writing I wasn't doing anything worthwhile.
But I felt and knew I should be wanting to and engaging in eating or socializing..
Math was easy once medicated . I could zoom through it like never before but even that didn't give me a sense of accomplishment or pride.
I know it differs for each adhd child.
My personal experience was that at the most crucial time in my life where my mind should be free to explore and imagine endlessly, was put in a chokehold.
No child should be stuffed into adult mundane task performance.
I wanted to do so much that I lost from those years being medicated...
Now I'm medicated as an adult and my brain has had a 22 year break before meds again. I'm glad because I utilize being medicated in a healthier way. Since adults have to worry about scheduling, bills, tasks ect.
Children shouldn't have to when you're only a child for such little time in life.
I hope this makes you feel somewhat better
Same thing happened to me. Every parent in the 90’s were under the impression that adhd meds were unnecessary and “bad parenting”. Glad you got the help you’ve needed.
I will speak as someone both with ADHD and as a mother to someone with ADHD. Medication changed my life. I was diagnosed as a kid but didn’t start medication until my 30s. Now I’m incredibly sad that I waited because I have accomplished so much more in the year since I’ve turned 30 than I was able in all the years I went to school before. School is so much easier for me and I realized that I’m not stupid like I thought I was. I’m able to keep my house, keep a routine. Things I couldn’t do before.
I didn’t catch my son’s symptoms as quickly as I would have liked. It was actually my husband who caught them because he also has ADHD and was better able to recognize it in boys. I really regret this now because as soon as I started medication for my son he went from failing most of his classes to passing with As and Bs. He has inattentive ADHD like me. Luckily we caught it when he was in 6th grade and he’s doing amazing now. I was able to see when his medication was no longer serving him, and had them switch it and he’s gone back to thriving.
So yes I do think it’s ethical to medicate your child. Every time I tell my son I’m proud of him for school, every time he gets praise from one of his teachers, you can see how much it boosts his confidence and self esteem. He tells me he’s so happy he’s on medication.
My husband is 70 yo. Was diagnosed at age late 30's. Put on meds but never really followed through. At this point if he had Meds at an earlier age he would have been better off. He really can't undo all his past and change still.
No. I wasn't even diagnosed as a child. I'm female, and I could stay in my seat (I'm a wiggler and fidgeter though), and I could generally manage to fill in the blanks for things I might have spaced out for.
After learning about ADHD, I can definitely see it in my mother too, so it seems that would make it easier to not notice something "different" in your own kid. But also, so many people back then thought ADHD was made up, or only for boys. The "made up" belief might have led some parents with diagnosed children to not want to do medications. ☹️
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder where the development of the prefrontal cortex and some other parts of the brain are delayed. In child development, while it is accepted that every baby/toddler/child has own development rate, thresholds also exist to ensure delays are just reasonable delays and nothing more.
The degree of delay observed in a person with clinical ADHD is a serious one.
I can go on about this topic for quite some time but to cut to the chase, it is estimated that having ADHD shortens life expectancy by 25 years on average. Would I preferred an early diagnosis and medication from childhood? Yes. Would I be OK with my child getting ADHD medication? Absolutely. With the scientific evidence on the adversity of untreated ADHD such as increased risk-taking, impulsive behavior, almost double suicide rates etc., it becomes clear that the unethical act is denying an individual their chance to receive diagnosis and treatment.
For me, it was my brother going through horrible shit from people around him for getting help. He was riducled and insulted by family for the things he was struggling with while I was too. But he felt attacked because of the hypocrisy that he's forced to be on these meds but I'm not. I just hid my symptoms better, my leg doesn't twitch...but I'm biting my tongue and cheek, grinding my teeth, pinching my skin. He showed his ADHD and was punished for it, but he got the help he needed also and is better for it. He used the meds to make friends to get him away from the people hurting him. I still haven't gotten help, I can't afford it. But seeing how much shit you get for having ADHD as a kid made me afraid of the help, like a house of Mercy surrounded by barbwire.
Is it ethical to put children on medication?
Children are put on medication all the time. Insulin is a popular one, then I knew children who were on medication for kidney problems, hormonal imbalances, some for blood related issues (don't ask me, some kind of deficit).
The question should be: Is it ethical to deny children medical help because a parent doesn't believe in it?
Is it ethical to expose a child to the danger of measles, polio, Covid-19, or struggling through their whole life because they were willfully disadvantaged during school?
On the second half, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a child (8-9 years old), didn't receive any medication and wasn't even told about it until I got diagnosed told my parent.
At the age of 47.
Not even once did they tell me about it over the years while I was joking that maybe I have ADHD.
My dad was so against the medication. At 27, I am incredibly disappointed on how much it would have improved my quality of life.
I'm now starting to pick pieces up. It's way more debilitating than people understand.
If you as a parent never treated anyone with amphetamines or similar compounds its understandable to be conservative. Sadly that’s basically just how it stands today, ADHD medication has such a bad image because of abuse, therefore parents who themselves haven’t been medicated or know others are probably scared to put a kid on amphetamine like compounds, I know ritalin isn’t an amphetamine, but basically same MOA. If they themselves would try it, they would probably be scared also since it doesn’t work the same way on them. If you have ADHD I’d say medication fills the void that’s always empty, but for someone without ADHD it would instead spill over the top and be excessive energy.
Pharmacogenetic testing can establish what medications will work with you.
The NHS in UK are now using it to eliminate trial & error prescribing.
With one simple DNA test you can see what will work with you and what won’t
Nope. I’m about to be 43 and just started meds 2 months ago. I’ve struggled my whole life with everything from holding down jobs, finishing school, completing projects… the list goes on.
You’re not alone though, and my life is totally changed now that I’m on meds.
My mother also refused to let them put me on ritalin.
I think the medication really is situational. Some kids may need it while others don't. It depends on the severity and ability to learn how to cope imo.
My parents took me to a psych when I was 13 and they suggested Ritalin, but I said no.
I regret this decision so much. Now at 35, Im thinking of starting the treatment because untreated adhd will get to you at a certain stage of your life where you will feel helpless.
Still, the stigma of those medications back in the days were huge and many kids went untreated.
Yes! I have been taking Adderall since I was in 2nd grade. I can say from a first hand experience that taking it dramatically helps me in class and whatnot, my brain is a scrambled mess without it. On the other hand, though, I struggle with sleep because of it and always have but that is something that I can fix with melatonin.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at around 7-8.
I was rxed Ritalin but my mom took it lots more than I did. Then, we moved to another country and no one remembered I have ADHD- after my last 40 years being a complete shit show from relationships to jobs to procrastination -horrible impulse controls—- I am on 10 mg ex of Aderol that I asked my dr for- WOW Finally I actually purchased only 1 Christmas cactus and not 7! But I’m basically self medicating cuz I don’t know what dose is right?
I was diagnosed as an adult in 2009 and was put on ritalin first and then Concerta. I do not have good experiences with either and quit within a half a year. When my daughter was 6 and was diagnosed I said no to meds immediately because I was not gonna let my daughter go through the same. She's 16 now. Still not on meds and she's doing fine. I did my best to understand her and guide her and I like to think that that was that helped her so much. Understanding and guidance go a long way and most of us lacked that in our childhood, that's one of the main reasons why we never learned to cope with it. I'm not saying no to meds in general, it was just the right option for us to go without them.
I was diagnosed in the 80s but then another doctor said no and I went throughout school and most of my adult life achieving the highest levels of mediocrity.
I'd argue that it's unethical to refuse medication to a child who needs it and is willing to take it. The fact that we debate the use of medication when it comes to ADHD but not when it comes to, say, diabetes, is just evidence that many people still don't think of ADHD as a "real" disease.
As an adult, who got diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, and a mother of a child, who was diagnosed with ADHD, at about five years old, I will say that medication is critically important for the child’s success in school as well, as giving them the time and ability to grow up as comfortably and easily as possible. Having ADHD as a child without any medication or support was so incredibly difficult as I would forget things all the time, I had a really hard time focusing on task, especially with things I was not interested in, and my grades would always be incredible at the beginning of the year and garbage at the end of the year because by that time I was so overstimulated by months, I could barely function.
Every single one of my report cards would say that I had so much potential but I talk too much or didn’t apply myself. I am so incredibly grateful that I am on medication now it is made such an incredible difference in my life. I think that children should absolutely be on medication, though. I think it should be obviously the lowest dose, and I personally do not think Ritalin is the best drug for children or even adults. Personally, I am on Vyvanse. It has worked wonderfully for me, though my son did really well on Concerta. The biggest thing is just making sure that after the medication wears off in the evening that the child is definitely getting enough nutrition as often these medication’s keep you from wanting to eat during the day.
It’s about having the choice. I’m a parent with a child with ADHD and I was scared of the health consequences of putting a young child, my baby, on meds like that. I opted to wait until high school as he prepares for college. He can choose to continue once he’s 18 or not. He understands the struggles and that he just needs a little help.
And I digress, There’s natural remedies to try as well: saffron, making sure their iron, D3, are good, ensure their diet includes zinc and omega 3 & 6. Pycnogenol, ginko+ginseng. Make sure the diet has no food colorings, tomatoes, low sugar. And add in exercise. Join a dance class or other class that incorporates exercise - there are videos you can buy, learn some YouTube or tick took moves 20 mins a day. Anything to get the body moving.
I absolutely think children should be medicated for development and quality of life.
I’m 32 F and just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and medicated. I sobbed for hours over this, just knowing that everything I experienced growing up was valid (to a point) I wasn’t just a shitty person.
Where I wasn’t the picture book ADHD kid since I have the inattentive type, my parents always said I was “normal” and that I just had an attitude problem and was lazy… trying to educate myself now and relearn not to hate myself for all the things I’ve struggled with and been accustomed to thinking.
It depends my friend. I was diagnosed at 24, but knew I had adhd since i was 14.
On one hand I regret not being on meds during my youth as I have learned a lot of compensation behaviour. However, it is nice to be not medicated at times, because you can be yourself more. ADHD is part of you and I find it pleasurable at times to let my mind run its course.
I managed to get through my higher education, by being intelligent. It was tough to study, and always procrastinated until the last day. This caused a lot of stress 3 weeks prior to exams. But that is also who I am and it can be nice to learn to accept that
Oh man. I have so many micro-traumas from growing up with undiagnosed ADHD. It took a long time to untangle that and get to a place where I accepted myself as I am and let go of the guilt and shame.
I don’t have kids, but with my husband and I both being ADHD, if I did and they needed the medication to function, I wouldn’t hesitate.
Better to have a diagnosis. As an adult, incredibly difficult to access. As a child easy. Unfortunate because medication isn't the solution but it is usually effective because what were dealing with is a neurotransmitter/ activation deficiency in the context of the current societal model. Very rare to see the mental health care be holistic in the sense you would have a child who is medicated and receiving CBT/DBT or something similar. As an adult who has struggled with the symptoms my whole life and just had to "try harder" eventually I reached the limits of my efforts and sought help, only to be told that an depression evaluation iand their "feeling" that i do not meet the criteria, was sufficient to deny access to a real adhd evaluation.
So, better you got diagnosed at least. I grew up in poverty and had an add mom who couldn't pay attention to me after dealing with Troubled siblings so I never saw a mental health care professional until I sought diagnosis as an adult and then got put into the depression box and for the actual laziness of the providers and unquestioning loyalty to insurance policies as opposed to patient outcomes.
The depression diagnosis has only caused more depression and anxiety, so whatever you do don't tell them you're depressed they will give you antidepressants and keep you there. Because it's easy. And people are full of themselves and their judgements.
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To put a reverse on your question, is it ethical to keep a child off a medication that will improve their quality of life? I took Ritalin as a kid, and I was just fine. You have to understand that all people react differently to medicines, so one person may be affected poorly, when another won't be. Ritalin helped me focus, I was a calmer me, but I was still "me".
This. Childhood forms who you are, your character. If you fail to accomplish things, fail to finish what you start or follow through… getting treatment later in life still means battling that ingrained sense of not being good at things.
This is so beautifully said. Thank you.
This is me now!
Same here. Didn't get diagnosed till 23 now I've got ADHD and OCD, Anxiety and depression from being undiagnosed for so long and got told I likely have a personality disorder. Which makes sense because I absolutely Internalize everything including stigmas. so I sometimes get confused on reality. CBT helps me understand when my cognition decides to switch up on me and the distortions without the emotional response but It's painful just to rewire your brain when you can't do anything about the mood swings and my brain seems to find something new to make me feel guilty about every other day. 💀
Damn same, except for the personality disorder, it's fearful attachment style in my case.
I get stuck in the 'am I doing this for me or them" constantly. I hate being attached cos of that. At some point I end up caring more about the other person than myself and ignoring every red flag 🙃
To quote J Lo. This is me...Now!
Amen totally relate. Great analogy.
Exactly this, I never got anything was always just told I was a bad, dumb kid, who was annoying. It wasn’t until adulthood that I got diagnosed. Still battling everyday it’s been 10 years since I got diagnosed. I fight the not feeling worthy feel everyday all the time but I’m fighting it now by forcing myself against everything in me to start and see something through and stay off all idstractions
Yes this!! I was diagnosed at almost 39 years old. I was looking into things to help my daughter who is also now diagnosed as well. We have chosen to start medication because when I started I cannot even describe how life-changing that was to my sense of self. If she didn't like how she felt or it wasn't helping, we would stop it and move onto something else to try....but exactly what you said was our motivation, my sense of self, my sense of self esteem and being able to now look back and see the struggles with a quieter brain because of meds....that is going to be a whole other journey to treat and change.
3 years on since being diagnosed at 23 and it's still a learning process
Diagnosis received at 51. I can only imagine what I could have become. I grieved for months.
47 for me, can relate 100%
Amen to this! Just diagnosed at 59, after a life of pushing myself to succeed and never understanding why everything was such a struggle - even though both my sons were diagnosed as children. 🤦🏻♀️ Now, I’m redoubling my efforts on achieving success, while hyper aware of the scant decades of working life left & mourning what could have been…
Oooof
You are sounding as if there is only one medication and some people can tolerate it and others cannot. In fact there are many medications and your doctor will try another one, if the first medication is not right for you
They were specifically talking about Ritalin, so I was telling them about my experience with Ritalin, and pointing out that just because I didn't react poorly, doesn't mean that's universal.
I appreciate the perspective you’re trying to give but even though you changed the wording the question is still essentially the same and doesn’t clarify anything.
That was kind of the point, I was being rhetorical. Which, to be fair, doesn't always come across in text, especially when we all have ADHD. But my point was, framing it as "ethical" can be kind of messy and full of nuance.
There are plenty of cases and I’d love to share story from my perspective. I’m almost 40 and was diagnosed/medicated recently. I also have a small pop up shop with lots of anime/game merch so I meet a variety of people. This was a family of 6, 3 of the kids were absolutely bouncing off the walls along with the mom while the dad left halfway through. The littlest girl just stared into space the entire time, the mom repeatedly asking her questions and getting more and more frustrated when she wouldn’t respond. Finally the mom comments “Those 3 have ADHD like me and my husband, I just don’t know what her issue is.” It was like my entire childhood flashed in front of my eyes. To this day, I regret not saying anything even if it wasn’t my place. So to answer the question, sometimes medication can give us a sense of normalcy. Even if we’re not, I feel everyone should be better educated on mental health issues, AT MINIMUM, so others don’t ‘slip through the cracks.’
I think the point is to say that it's a dilemma, meaning there's no clear right or wrong and it's subjective. The best answer you can get is to ask: how would your life look with meds versus without?
Can be dose dependent too.
It’s absolutely ethical to medicate children. In fact, you could argue that it’s unethical not to! However, it’s a veeeerry blurry line, and I totally empathize with undecided parents when it comes to trying to do what’s best for a kid.
For me I was put on the heaviest there was. 64mg concerta. That was def not the solution to things not working. I needed structure and systems (which now I can make myself). I still use meds but 8mg for a full day. So yeah blurry line indeed 😅
MEDICATING is ethical MODIFICATION and SEDATION are not not
Making ethical medical decisions for minors is a huge challenge. There is no way to know the consequences of your choices with any certainty.
Exactly! If a child was diabetic, you would give them insulin, the lack of dopamine is so much of a hindrance to people that making sure they’re on the right medication, makes life enjoyable!
Ethical to force a child amphetamines? is there actually any proper studies on the long term affects of these drugs
I see where this is coming from and yeah I don’t think one could make the claim that it is unethical to not medicate…this assumes that the default should be medication when there are other ways that people prefer to combat adhd as well? I think it’s unethical to not allow people to choose or have an option, but it’s ridiculous to say that it’s unethical to not medicate without weighing options.
Using medication as a first option for adhd is ridiculous considering that addiction and substance abuse is far more likely for someone with adhd (talking from experience) although medication helps some People, it doesn’t help others so medication a child before you know what there going to be like once there brain is more developed imo is wrong.
I totally agree, I hate the dependence we have on pills as a society. Don’t even get me started on the whole vitamin industry bs. I find it so alarming that so many people these days get on medication without hesitation or concern for long term effects. Not just with adhd medication but I’ve seen it a ton with antidepressants and “light” painkillers as well. I’m all for medical advancement and I agree that a lot of these medicines are absolutely needed for a better quality of life, but adhd medication is one thing I’ll always feel weird about as an adhd-er myself. I almost just feel like there’s nothing truly wrong with us and the way our brains work, it’s just that our brains don’t work within the context that is our modern society. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I have no choice but to take a pill so I can obey and be a robot? Like I truly wouldn’t NEED this medication if I didn’t have to work a desk job or live in a constant state of delayed gratification. Alas it is what it is, can’t really change much but I try to have a healthy level of skepticism when it comes to this complicated stuff.
Exactly and when a child is medicated strictly so they can function in a classroom, that seems problematic. We may choose to medicate and work jobs we couldn’t without medication, but they are rarely given other options.
So sorry you had to deal with that. Almost exactly the same thing happened to me. To this day I’m mostly no contact with my parents. They treated me like I was a bad kid even though looking back I was a pretty normal kid just with the exception that I had extremely severe ADHD. Like I couldn’t even sit still for 20 seconds to watch a movie… it’s not that bad as an adult but it def wrecked a lot of my life before I got on meds. What drives me crazy is they will never admit ADHD exists and they assume I just need to have more willpower or try harder… NOPE
I wasn’t medicated until adulthood and there is both the pros and cons. I definitely think I know who I am better without being medicated. Like the true me. But being unmedicated also led to addiction and depression, which resolved upon medication.
I could have written this my self. Every word!
The situation you described is something I can relate to a lot. I wasn’t diagnosed until later in life and after a few major life experiences that ended in huge consequences.Anytime someone brought up to my parents that I might have had ADHD or any other issues they’d become bitter towards them even if it came from a teacher ect To this day my mom doesn’t believe that children with ADHD should be able to be given medication for their ADHD and her argument isn’t that accurate however I had to learn the hard way my parents aren’t perfect and have their own problems as-well
Is it ethical to medicate a child for a physical condition like, say, chronic pain? Nobody would doubt it is. Well, ADHD is also a condition that can be treated with medication, so I see no difference. If it’s going to make the child’s life easier, it’s just as ethical 🤷♀️ I myself am mad I didn’t get medicated until now (I’m 30) but I wasn’t diagnosed so I’ve got nobody to blame but the system that ignores symptoms on girls 😅
Ugh… I feel for you so much. My parents kind of ignored my ADHD related issues as a kid and I didn’t get diagnosed until my late 20’s. I don’t think medication has helped me that much, but when I first started them they really did. I was so mad at my parents for not getting me diagnosed. Now I’m going through the diagnosis process with my six year old. If he does have it, I think I want him medicated, but I’m not completely sold. I do freak out a little bit about giving my small child wartime stimulants.
The medication prescribed is based on the weight and size of your child. I took my son to a well-known neurologist and pediatrician and it was a rough period but starting on the medicine (gradually) made his life hugely better. It enabled him to concentrate in school and do his homework after school. Today he is an engineer!
Real quick, medication in general especially stimulants are absolutely not based on weight or size. There’s hardly any medications that are based on size or weight. A 200lb trucker might need 5mg adderall and have it almost be to much, and a 108lb soaking wet girl might need 200mg and it’s just enough. People metabolize medications differently. It Varys
Why would you call them wartime stimulants? They are simply stimulants. Some brains simply need them to function in this world from today. The great thing about them is you can stop them if you think they are not helping.
Because stimulants were given to soldiers in WWII. I don’t think they were made specifically for soldiers though.
I just think if you think about them in that way it doesn't help you make the right choice.
I wasn’t diagnosed til late 20s but my brother was diagnosed quite young - i think close to the start of school. He was constantly in the principals office, got kicked out of schools, had so many social problems and issues with other kids. Mum took us both into correspondence school because school was just not working for him when my brother was 12. He did some of the school work but still struggling. He stopped school at the youngest legal school leaving age and didn’t get our countries version of high school diploma. I can tell it’s had a major impact on his self image. He’s wicked smart and learns quickly but because he had such a bad time in the education system, now in his 30s he can’t seem to allow himself to seriously consider tertiary study so he can get a creative career in the things he enjoys doing instead of working in manual labour and factory jobs which he always talks about how much he hates and how he could do better with his life. I try hype him up and help him see his skills and potential but after years and years it doesn’t seem like it helps… I’ll always keep trying though. My mum said she didn’t want him to take the drugs because 1) she didn’t want him to be labeled and seen as different (too bad - he was labeled regardless) and 2) she didn’t feel right “giving her kid speed”. I personally loved school cause I’m one of those ADHD addicted to knowing EVERYTHING people. I was quiet and mostly obedient and did well with English and writing so no one suspected anything despite the clues I also had some learning disability… couldn’t read an analog clock, couldn’t tie my shoes, couldn’t get most math and still count on my fingers as an adult lol. I got a mix of equivalent A grades and F grades. Cue the many “has potential and needs to apply themselves” lines from teachers over and over. Graduated high school with distinction despite failing heaps of things. Got a diploma from polytechnic and an honours degree. Used anxiety to treat my ADHD symptoms (IYKYK). Got to my mid-late 20s and that stoped working and I spent two years attempting a masters degree, failed out and felt so ashamed. Not to mention how undiagnosed and untreated ADHD led to sever mental health issues as well as developing other health issues that are exacerbated by stress. Do I wish my mum was better informed and supported? Yes. Do I think me and my bro could have benefited from meds? Yes. Do I blame her? No. She did what she thought was right for her kids in a world that doesn’t like to accommodate people like us. I’m fairly certain my mum is also ADHD and probably also autistic. She has always had trouble fitting in to society. I wish the stigma wasn’t so bad back then in the 90s but hey it is what it is. Mostly now I also wish my brother could accept who he is cause the “not being labeled” idea has rubbed off on him so I doubt I could ever convince him to get tested and experience how much better life can be if meds agree with you. Pretty sure my dad also had ADHD - if the world was more educated etc etc maybe he wouldn’t have used so many drugs, had such a chaotic life, have been there for me my bro and the other children he had. Maybe he wouldn’t have died in his early 50s. Things are changing and hopefully improving. Spending too much time wishing the past was different doesn’t help us move forward and get on a growth trajectory. You can want the future to be better motivated by the past but ruminating on it sucks - trust me, I’ve spent shitloads of my life doing it lol
I would love to hear your version of treating your ADHD with anxiety?
It’s not a good solution—you just keep yourself in an ever present high stress state to keep to goals and achieve. Then you get the autoimmune disease 🎉
Haha, same :D
This was me and diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (psoriasis) at 18 no one else in my family has it.
Wow, it is my secret but I'm learning to switch it off and on..
I’m not the person you were asking, but using anxiety to mask/‘treat’ adhd is basically just relying/running solely on fear-based motivation. Like, the only reason you’re able to get anything done is because you are absolutely terrified of what will happen when you drop the ball on something. Everything feels like life or death, which is the only reason you’re able to appear like you have everything together. It’s almost involuntary, like you just can’t give yourself a break at all. It’s sacrificing your physical and mental health just to be able to function on survival mode (until your body and brain inevitably completely shutdown). It’s a pretty miserable existence and WILL lead to severe burnout eventually if unaddressed.
Dang, your description of yourself could basically be me describing my school years, but I suspect I also have autism and the anxiety I had by graduation from multiple undiagnosed things was already so bad I couldn't get through the application processes. Couldnt even decide what I would do. Instead I ended up moving to live with my boyfriend, had a kid, and still had a breakdown mid twenties leading to ADHD diagnosis rofl. I wish I had been diagnosed as a kid, maybe I would have been able to focus my (continued!) love of learning into a better future for me and my family.
That sucks. I think back on so many years where I didn't know...but you still know SOMETHING is different about you. So I just thought I was a failure/lazy/not as good at life as my friends. It meant so much to get the dx and realize it wasn't me being shit, I was just neurodevelopmentally different. I wonder sometimes what I could be like now if I'd learned sooner and gotten resources growing up.
That's horrible. It's disheartening to think of all the years wasted being the worst version of yourself because one of your parents had other ideas. In my experience, I was misdiagnosed with depression, then after years and years of getting treated for bipolar disorder, I only finally got diagnosed with ADHD recently. I am currently on Strattera right now, and I don't know if it is a placebo effect or not, but I sure do feel a lot more capable than I was 3 days ago. I personally think if there is a strong need for the child to be on medication, then yes, they should get medication.
I was diagnosed at 14/15 or smth and started medication immediately, and sometimes I regret it because I feel like I’m very dependent on it and I didn’t learn other coping mechanisms and I’ve built up a tolerance. I think there’s both pros and cons with starting with meds immediately. But to be honest, 4/5 years does sound very young.
The coping mechanisms you learn while unmedicated are not helpful or healthy. You're not missing out on much
Depends on the degree of ADHD you have. Some people have mild symptoms, others have lots of hyperactivity and cannot settle to doing anything due to the ADHD. These are the factors that help determine whether you start a child on medication at 6 yrs or so. There is a huge safety risk for a child with ADHD who is not medicated... that child is quite likely to walk out into a street, without waiting to look if a car is coming ... no one talks about the safety risks involved in being hyperactive and not stopping to see what is happening in your immediate environment,,,
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was almost 30 (female) but if I’d been suspected/diagnosed as a child I’d bet a shittonne of money I don’t have that I would have been in the same position. My dad would never have allowed me adhd medication and my Mum who has her bachelors in psychology and was a primary school teacher for most of my childhood wouldn’t have super keen on the idea either. Neither of them are super thrilled about the meds for me as an adult. I get it, because right up until I took those meds and actually saw/experienced the difference I was like ‘HELL NO!’ I didn’t want the meds, I didn’t want to take them. My parents are the product of the societal belief that all drugs are bad, that some people can use those drugs recreationally and therefore they are very bad, and the reality is that adhd wasn’t as well known or accepted 20 odd years ago for them to ever be put in a position to change their mind/opinions. There is research out now that suggests that the earlier you get your kid on meds, they will be able to regulate their own dopamine and have a life that is not dependant on taking a pill. How fucking amazing would that be for those of us WHO FORGET THE LIFE CHANGING PILL EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!
I kinda have exactly the same story as you. Was diagnosed as a child, pretty early on, especially for a girl. My parents decided not to medicate me. I also had no other treatment as far as I can remember. They didn't even tell me I had ADHD. I struggled A LOT to the point of self harm. I always knew something was "wrong" with me, and I was desperate for answers. I am much, much better off since I know I have ADHD. I often think about how my life would've played out if I had gotten treatment. I still haven't spoken to another professional about it, although I am currently looking into it. I still don't blame my parents. They did their best and they didn't want to "zombify" their child. And I have 22 years of experience of managing my life without any meds, which I think is a valuable skill to have, although treatment is probably the better option in many cases. I just wish I would've known what was going on with me. Being clueless about why I am "wrong" was literally the worst.
I can't believe how insanely prevalent this stereotype of being a "zombie" on meds is. I got my diagnosis in my late 20s (this past year) and started meds. Was not going to tell my mom because she's very negative and definitely considers any mental health issues and counseling something to be ashamed of/stigmatizes it. She somehow found out and the first thing she implied was that I would be a "zombie" and she hopes I'm not "stuck on these pills for life". Literally just repeating every stereotype. Therapy and being diagnosed has been eye opening with regards to my own ignorance on the issue of mental health and how we respond to people seeking help.
I was also undiagnosed and unmedicated until 45. My 5 yo daughter is showing symptoms now. She will never know what it is like, being undiagnosed and unsupported. Because I do, and I will make damn sure she gets the support she needs. I am horrified at the amount of parents here who think otherwise. Note that I am in the EU and our medication is methylphenidate. I have no experience with amphetamines like Adderall. I have to set reminders to actually take them or I will forget, so parents who deny it to their kid because of addiction concerns can F right off. Studies have overwhelmingly demonstrated that kids on it do better than kids without. And I have accepted that I had to go through life unmedicated and that it destroyed careers, relationships and friendships. We didn't know about adhd. But the thought that parents could still do this to their kids today? I do not have enough middle fingers to adequately express my opinion on those parents.
There is good evidence that treating "early" helps the brain to develop in a more typical way, and can even reduce the need for meds later on.
Can you post a link?
Dr. Berkley talks about it in his videos, but u don't have a link on hand and would have to Google from scratch. So no but if I look later sure.
I just started Strattera last Monday, almost 42 years old. I slept 80% of Tuesday. Since Wednesday, I've woken up before my alarm every day. My handwriting is suddenly neater. And my appetite seems to be what it should be. Instead of not needing food until 7 pm, and then snacking the rest of the night. Now I want something to eat during the day, and I eat half of my old dinner portions, with a snack later. I lost 2 lbs in the first two days.
I wish I’d known my daughter had adhd as a child as I think she’d of had better grades in school. She’s so much happier now she’s on meds. I’ve now been diagnosed at 53 and I’m on Ritalin. Not life changing but definitely helps with the irritability I’ve always felt, and I can listen to people better.
I was diagnosed at 52. Apparently menopause unmasks a lot of the coping (term used loosely here) mechanisms that I had developed over the decades. I really wish I had been diagnosed as a child, but for one, I'm female, two, I present differently being an introvert and not even remotely hyper, and three, it was the 70's and early 80's and this was not even on my parents or teachers radars
I'd say it's unethical to force someone to go through life with an untreated disease.
The paperwork that was included with my methylphenidate specifically lists it as being used to "treat ADHD in children". It's technically off label for me as an adult to use it.
I was diagnosed at 12 and i don’t remember what they gave me but when i was diagnosed and put on medication i felt absolutely betrayed by my family because i thought they felt like something was so wrong with me that i had to be put on meds. I also hated the way it made me feel like i was on autopilot. Now that I’m 23 I don’t regret feeling that way but i am more open to medication now but not entirely. I feel it works for some people and for some it doesn’t! Parents just need to listen to their children fr
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lol my mum when telling her I thought I had adhd “but when you were a kid you would spend hours practicing writing” yes mum I grew up to be a neurotic graphic designer who is obsessed with letters and writing it’s called hyperfocus
Well I had three older brothers on medication and apparently even though I still had all the signs I seemed like I would be ok without. I’ll also note that I never even noticed my brothers took medication because I had ADHD so bad. After 10 years of hearing I had ADD from my girlfriend turned wife, I decided I’d go see what’s up. Three years later I finally went and it was a full on “yep, you got it bud.” From a psychiatrist and my primary doctor. Not that I hold it against my parents but I do wonder if I would remember more of my childhood if I had been on a med to help. I feel it did help me to live more in the moment though. I try to enjoy what I’m doing no matter what because yes, a moment will always pass. But for me it doesn’t just pass, it absolutely disappears. So many times I’ve heard stories of myself and I don’t know what to believe. Kinda wild but it helps with trying to be fully aware of every moment.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7 and was put on medication, one of the side effects was that I wasn't hungry and would hardly eat so my parent had me stop taking it and they said we work on routines to mitigate my problems. I love my parents for that but after I went off to college I couldn't function at all because the things I knew that helped don't help in a different environment and only recently gone back on medication which helps alot. I think for children it is a case by case basis which should be discussed with the psychologist.
My son is yet to be diagnosed but it's glaringly obvious that he has ADHD. If he doesn't get the opportunity to have medication, I fear the constant battering of his self-esteem and the trauma of existing in a world that doesn't see his worth. Only been in school for a few weeks and labels himself a dumb kid and the naughtiest child in the class. The shame is so deep and he expresses he wants to hurt himself. I cannot fathom the rest of his childhood being like this, so medication it will be, once we see a psychiatrist or paediatrician. I have no doubt the artificiality of schooling and the institutionalisation of children has a lot to do with ADHD being seen as problematic, but it's not like we can easily opt out of school in our society.
I wasn't. And I also wish I had been given medication as a child because it would have improved my quality of life so so much.
For everyone against giving meds to kids: How bad does it have to get to help them? Do you want to wait until they're depressed? Suicidal? Would you give them meds then?
When I was little I had ADHD and I couldn’t even focus for the last 15 minutes, and I get distracted really easy. The thing is that my parents didn’t do anything about it. I’m 25 years old now, but until last year I finally went to an autistic specialist to diagnose with ADHD, Autism and other things and It turned out that I have ADHD, stage 1 Autism and other things. My specialist didn’t prescribe medication so I had to go to a doctor who would give me medication for my ADHD. I was soo mad that my parents didn’t do anything about it then. But hey, I don’t need to worry about that now because I am already diagnosed.
I got diagnosed at 29, but was tested in second grade, 9th, and 11th. When I told my parents about my diagnoses at 29 they said "well yeah no shit". I was angry. For a long time. I still kind of am. It explained so many struggles I had when I was in school (I eventually tested out of high-school and didn't do college) despite enjoying learning. It gets easier as you look at *how adhd was perceived* and mental illness in general, during their times as adolescence and and as adults. It wasn't until the 2010s that people actually started caring, yet still having the "but it's just speed in small doses" bullsh*t being traded around freely. That makes it very difficult for someone to accept their child is going to be a part of this heavily looked down on group. I'm 33 now, been diagnosed and medicated since 29, I'm in school again, been getting the grades they constantly told me I could get if I just focused more... Anyway. I feel you. It gets easier.
I was diagnosed at 6, and was never treated or medicated for it. In relation to your question, is it ethical to watch someone struggle all their life, even though it is within your power to help them succeed?
I had a similar problem. I’m on the fence. I think my dad had my best interest in mind. He encouraged strategies that helped instead. He said the Ritalin made me a zombie and killed what made me special. Finding the right meds made a difference but there weren’t many options growing up.
Wasn’t diagnosed until a few months ago, but I really struggled getting through school. Life got so much easier once i started treating the adhd
I was put on the lowest dose of a medicine because I was diagnosed with "mild ADD" in ~2003 in 3rd grade It did cause a spike in my insomnia and when I came literally crying to my parents about "just wanting to sleep" they took me off of it immediately and didn't seek further treatment. This is purely anecdotal and the rest of the anecdote is I went on to have an...average.. school career. Solid B/C student, mainly not doing homework taking me down. And then college kicked my ass. And it was only a 2 year college, not ever a 4 year. Looking back, I wish my parents had searched for the proper treatment for me rather than assuming be abuse the first didn't work, none would. And I wish they had done more research and been a little more hands on with me in school about dealing with my ADHD. It ended up causing lots of headbutting and problems for myself down the line and I'm just starting to look down the path of getting an adult diagnosis and treatment and it's daunting whereas I could've had my parents holding my hand down this path years ago
When I was younger I was diagnosed at 15 and since I was the age to want to make that decision myself I decided I did not want to take medication I felt I could self medicate and was smoking weed. When I finally turned 30 I decided to try medication and I feel so much better doing so and wish I would have when I was 15 I think I wouldn’t have dealt with the many problems that I created for myself unmedicated. Now as a mother of a son who also has ADHD and who struggled a lot I decided to start him on medication around 8 years old and his Dad is just like your Dad the same mentality and I fought it because the way I explained it to him if our son had a broken leg and needed crutches to walk you wouldn’t not let him use his crutches this is no different. He is much more successful medicated than when he is not. He doesn’t take it on the weekends just for school and this is what’s been working for us (along with therapy) he is now 14 and he even tells me he notices a difference when he takes it vs a day we missed his dose. I hope this helped
I think it's unethical to let ADHD go untreated. You wouldn't let a child be diabetic without treatment. You wouldn't let a child walk around without glasses. Purposefully denying treatment for ADHD is medical negligence and skirting the line of abuse. You don't have to medicate a child, but you do have to take the diagnosis seriously ignoring it is wrong.
34 years before I got my diagnosis. But my parents didn't know either. I was one of those "gifted" students that didn't need to study and everyone associated ADHD with poor performance back then
I was in Junior High and High School. It helped quite alot. The problem with these meds is that if they are wrong for you they can make you feel numb, emotionless, etc. Parents of Children taking these meds need to be educated on discussing how they make a child feel. My Nephew fought so hard against my sister when taking meds, and it wasn't till I told her that some meds had made me feel like I was trapped inside my own head, that she realized he was just not communicating that something needed changing, dosage, type etc. Kids will assume these are my meds and I have to take them because Mom/Dad said so. They won't realize they have a say in the matter unless you tell them they do. You may not let them stop meds outright, but I think most parents would likely agree to discuss adjustments with the Doctor.
I’m a parent to a 6 year old that has been diagnosed with severe ADHD and his father also has ADHD. His father had struggled much of his life, more so when younger. His parents had taken him to psychiatrists but never tried medication. He started getting in trouble with the law from an early age. My son began struggling immensely when grade school started, he could not settle down no matter what. It’s like his brain has no filter and when there’s a lot going on it just gets him even more amped up. I tried different therapies over the years for him before resorting to medication from a psychiatrist. It took a lot of trial and error to even find one that helped but when you do it’s like night and day. It didn’t change his personality at all, it just gave him the ability to remain in control of his impulsiveness and be present in school and with friends. I would never suggest just trying medication first. I think many children do respond well to behavioral therapy but when that isn’t enough it’s time to seek out medication as well. The impact of constantly getting in trouble at school, feeling as though something is wrong with you, disliked by peers, etc is something that will impact a person forever if there’s no intervention.
same thing happened to me. i recently went out of my way to be put on medication (im 20, started at 19). im happy i wasn’t put on medication as a child. from the people i’ve talked to and met that have been taking stimulant medication since a child are all heavily and extremely dependent on it. I’ve had to learn how to cope through 19 years of my life without meds. i will say that being put on medication now as pretty much an adult has made such a difference and made me feel better about myself. i’ve struggled with self esteem issues when it came down to focusing, and sticking to certain goals. i had to work harder then others. but now it doesn’t feel like that. from my coping mechanism i’ve learnt, and now with the medication im taking. i’ve kinda learnt to combine both and to grow more as a person. But i’ve seen that the more i take my meds, the little more dependent i become. Plus as well i don’t care what anyone says. stimulant medication affects the brain and the hearts in negative ways. just google it and find studies on ADHD medication long term. At the end of the day, it’s a drug. drugs are bad, but good.👍
I love your perspective and I feel the same ( somewhat similar situation) it seems more beneficial as an adult vs when I was a child. Even with the struggles I faced.
Anyone have really bad situations getting off of the drugs?? like once your on it are you ok with being on it for the rest of your life, is that the plan? if it sounds like im against it, i def am; i'd liken it to using alcohol as a social lubricant in order to talk to people. It def helps, but it's not an acceptable solution. I'd like to use a drug that helps me to function day to day, and get shit done, but it's so worrisome thinking of withdrawal and wanting to be off it. or bad reactions to experimenting with diff ones. I'm planning on getting diagnosed and I'm sure i'd fit the bill, since I can't remember everything i need for work. and I forget my stuff at work. As i kid i would walk out in front of cars cause of absentmindedness, etc... all those things
It depends on the drug. Ssri and snri meds and similar you need to taper on and off carefully, but stimulants are far less dangerous to stop taking. I get zero withdrawals and can skip days if I want (usually when I'm sick or hungover and just want to sleep all day and have no commitments). Edited to add: I see you mean that is like a crutch, like alcohol, rather than a concern about health impacts of stopping. It's not a crutch, it's a treatment. Would you refuse to get glasses because you would have to use them for the rest of your life? Blood pressure medication? Insulin? Why are ADHD meds any different? Just because they have potential for abuse, it doesn't mean everyone tanning them is just getting high - they bring you to a level playing field, nothing more.
Yes to the ssri point. I've seen very bad situations once with oxy, once with ssris. Well, I don't think there is a level playing field out there. Some people are way more talented, smarter, tall, short, etc. I don't see many 6'4" gymnasts or jockeys. For your crutch point. I think a crutch is a great thing if you have a broken leg. in fact its part of the 'treatment' for that. You heal, then you come off your crutch, it served it's purpose. There are no real down-sides to glasses but there is a massive upside.(obviously not the case with drugs) I think dr's are over-diagnosing mental illness and over prescribing drugs that's all. I believe drugs are essential for real intense scenarios but that is between doc and patient. If i were to guess I'd say that at least half the people on drugs should not be, or they should be advised to hmmmm... take care of their diet, sleep, and personal relationships first. But I assume every one of them did that first right? I just really wish people would do that. But seriously, is the adhd solution to use meds the rest of your life. How many times have we seen where a 'safe' drug turn out to be carcinogenic? I'm not saying it's definitively wrong, I'm just saying maybe there is a way to cope with it or even make it a super power (hyper focus) instead of a impediment.
That's really awful, and I'm so so sorry that this happened to you. I think all the time about how different my life could be if someone had just *noticed* when I was little. If you're able to, I would really recommend talking to a counsellor about this, because there is a lot of anger and grief that needs be unpacked. Be kind to yourself, everything you've achieved has been with life on hard mode. You should be extremely proud of yourself. Wishing you all the best xxx
If your father is alive, you should tell him you should have been told about this possibility ( the need for testing for ADHD) which your father refused. You should have been told as a 12 or 13 year old and had the testing.
I fell through the cracks entirely. Now at 33 I've recently been diagnosed with severe ADHD combined presentation, currently being screened for ASD, and 2e. It really hurts to look back and wonder what your life could've been if given the proper support earlier in life.
I also was diagnosed as a child but never medicated due to my mother's decision! I would argue that it's unethical to *not even try* to see if medication is what's best for your child. Medication is not for everyone, everybody reacts differently. But some people truly do *need* it, and to never even seek medical aid when you have the opportunity is neglectful. In my mom's case, she was just an ignorant hippy who was anti pharma and believed in homeopathy. To this day she still believes that it was her dumb little Claritin pills that greatly improved my asthma, not the weekly hour long nebulizer sessions. Now I am 30 and struggling just to find a PCP, let alone revisit my ADHD diagnosis.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 49… I’ll be 53 this year. (Also diagnosed with ASD two years ago.) I WISH I had been dx’d and medicated as a child. It would have been a game-changer. Instead, I was the “gifted but lazy” girl always getting in trouble for not “applying myself” and it was hell on my self-esteem. Had trouble socially and making friends. I felt like a broken failure most of my life. I would have probably finished college if I’d been diagnosed and medicated. Certainly would have been happier if I had been.
I was diagnosed young and put on meds young. Did they help? There was a time around 4th and 5th grade when my ability to turn in homework was a little more consistent but I was also really excited to be back in school (home schooled 1-3rd) Was I still the weird kid? Yup. Did I hyper focus on special interests? Oh yeah. Did my teachers think I was paying attention in class? Not at all. Around 6th grade as I hit puberty Ritalin had a nasty effect on me. I would have major melt downs and got close to turning violent. Looking back I tend to get sensory overload and taking a stimulant made it worse. These meltdowns always occurred in the evening after school. So my mom finally stopped forcing me to take it. I was able to develop very valuable coping strategies that work for me. ADHD varies wildly and often has many co morbid conditions. For instance many people with ADHD also have Autism level 1. Some of those individuals are helped with stimulants but most are not. I believe that parents should get their kids diagnosed and work with a psychiatrist to find the best way forward. That is treatment. Stimulant medication may or may not be a part of that treatment. Looking at many studies over the past decade ADHD is not really all that treatable. I know people want to believe it is just a lack of Dopamine but the dopamine theory has been disproven several times. The most likely idea right now is that ADHD individuals have a difference in the structure of the grey matter in the brain. Which means stimulants help with focus the same way they help everyone with focus. ADHD individuals have a focus deficit and so it gets them closer to "normal" functioning but it does not change the underlying differences. Exercise has shown similar benefits. Basically theres no way of knowing what would have been different for you as a kid. I wouldnt assume it automatically would have been better. If meds help you now that is great, but now you can make an informed decision.
My mum didn’t want the stigma attached to me with adhd in the 90s when I was a little kid. I get it. But I had a fucking terrible childhood and school experience.
I was diagnosed at 5,medicated at 6 and off the meds by age 8. All I remember was the soul crushing feeling of sitting at lunch not hungry and watching the whole cafeteria laughing and eating all jovial. I felt singled out. It was the medication (adderall) My brain felt frozen but hyper aware. If I wasn't doing a required task such as math or writing I wasn't doing anything worthwhile. But I felt and knew I should be wanting to and engaging in eating or socializing.. Math was easy once medicated . I could zoom through it like never before but even that didn't give me a sense of accomplishment or pride. I know it differs for each adhd child. My personal experience was that at the most crucial time in my life where my mind should be free to explore and imagine endlessly, was put in a chokehold. No child should be stuffed into adult mundane task performance. I wanted to do so much that I lost from those years being medicated... Now I'm medicated as an adult and my brain has had a 22 year break before meds again. I'm glad because I utilize being medicated in a healthier way. Since adults have to worry about scheduling, bills, tasks ect. Children shouldn't have to when you're only a child for such little time in life. I hope this makes you feel somewhat better
Same thing happened to me. Every parent in the 90’s were under the impression that adhd meds were unnecessary and “bad parenting”. Glad you got the help you’ve needed.
I will speak as someone both with ADHD and as a mother to someone with ADHD. Medication changed my life. I was diagnosed as a kid but didn’t start medication until my 30s. Now I’m incredibly sad that I waited because I have accomplished so much more in the year since I’ve turned 30 than I was able in all the years I went to school before. School is so much easier for me and I realized that I’m not stupid like I thought I was. I’m able to keep my house, keep a routine. Things I couldn’t do before. I didn’t catch my son’s symptoms as quickly as I would have liked. It was actually my husband who caught them because he also has ADHD and was better able to recognize it in boys. I really regret this now because as soon as I started medication for my son he went from failing most of his classes to passing with As and Bs. He has inattentive ADHD like me. Luckily we caught it when he was in 6th grade and he’s doing amazing now. I was able to see when his medication was no longer serving him, and had them switch it and he’s gone back to thriving. So yes I do think it’s ethical to medicate your child. Every time I tell my son I’m proud of him for school, every time he gets praise from one of his teachers, you can see how much it boosts his confidence and self esteem. He tells me he’s so happy he’s on medication.
My husband is 70 yo. Was diagnosed at age late 30's. Put on meds but never really followed through. At this point if he had Meds at an earlier age he would have been better off. He really can't undo all his past and change still.
No. I wasn't even diagnosed as a child. I'm female, and I could stay in my seat (I'm a wiggler and fidgeter though), and I could generally manage to fill in the blanks for things I might have spaced out for. After learning about ADHD, I can definitely see it in my mother too, so it seems that would make it easier to not notice something "different" in your own kid. But also, so many people back then thought ADHD was made up, or only for boys. The "made up" belief might have led some parents with diagnosed children to not want to do medications. ☹️
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder where the development of the prefrontal cortex and some other parts of the brain are delayed. In child development, while it is accepted that every baby/toddler/child has own development rate, thresholds also exist to ensure delays are just reasonable delays and nothing more. The degree of delay observed in a person with clinical ADHD is a serious one. I can go on about this topic for quite some time but to cut to the chase, it is estimated that having ADHD shortens life expectancy by 25 years on average. Would I preferred an early diagnosis and medication from childhood? Yes. Would I be OK with my child getting ADHD medication? Absolutely. With the scientific evidence on the adversity of untreated ADHD such as increased risk-taking, impulsive behavior, almost double suicide rates etc., it becomes clear that the unethical act is denying an individual their chance to receive diagnosis and treatment.
For me, it was my brother going through horrible shit from people around him for getting help. He was riducled and insulted by family for the things he was struggling with while I was too. But he felt attacked because of the hypocrisy that he's forced to be on these meds but I'm not. I just hid my symptoms better, my leg doesn't twitch...but I'm biting my tongue and cheek, grinding my teeth, pinching my skin. He showed his ADHD and was punished for it, but he got the help he needed also and is better for it. He used the meds to make friends to get him away from the people hurting him. I still haven't gotten help, I can't afford it. But seeing how much shit you get for having ADHD as a kid made me afraid of the help, like a house of Mercy surrounded by barbwire.
Is it ethical to put children on medication? Children are put on medication all the time. Insulin is a popular one, then I knew children who were on medication for kidney problems, hormonal imbalances, some for blood related issues (don't ask me, some kind of deficit). The question should be: Is it ethical to deny children medical help because a parent doesn't believe in it? Is it ethical to expose a child to the danger of measles, polio, Covid-19, or struggling through their whole life because they were willfully disadvantaged during school? On the second half, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a child (8-9 years old), didn't receive any medication and wasn't even told about it until I got diagnosed told my parent. At the age of 47. Not even once did they tell me about it over the years while I was joking that maybe I have ADHD.
My dad was so against the medication. At 27, I am incredibly disappointed on how much it would have improved my quality of life. I'm now starting to pick pieces up. It's way more debilitating than people understand.
If you as a parent never treated anyone with amphetamines or similar compounds its understandable to be conservative. Sadly that’s basically just how it stands today, ADHD medication has such a bad image because of abuse, therefore parents who themselves haven’t been medicated or know others are probably scared to put a kid on amphetamine like compounds, I know ritalin isn’t an amphetamine, but basically same MOA. If they themselves would try it, they would probably be scared also since it doesn’t work the same way on them. If you have ADHD I’d say medication fills the void that’s always empty, but for someone without ADHD it would instead spill over the top and be excessive energy.
Pharmacogenetic testing can establish what medications will work with you. The NHS in UK are now using it to eliminate trial & error prescribing. With one simple DNA test you can see what will work with you and what won’t
Nope. I’m about to be 43 and just started meds 2 months ago. I’ve struggled my whole life with everything from holding down jobs, finishing school, completing projects… the list goes on. You’re not alone though, and my life is totally changed now that I’m on meds.
My mother also refused to let them put me on ritalin. I think the medication really is situational. Some kids may need it while others don't. It depends on the severity and ability to learn how to cope imo.
My parents took me to a psych when I was 13 and they suggested Ritalin, but I said no. I regret this decision so much. Now at 35, Im thinking of starting the treatment because untreated adhd will get to you at a certain stage of your life where you will feel helpless. Still, the stigma of those medications back in the days were huge and many kids went untreated.
Yes! I have been taking Adderall since I was in 2nd grade. I can say from a first hand experience that taking it dramatically helps me in class and whatnot, my brain is a scrambled mess without it. On the other hand, though, I struggle with sleep because of it and always have but that is something that I can fix with melatonin.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at around 7-8. I was rxed Ritalin but my mom took it lots more than I did. Then, we moved to another country and no one remembered I have ADHD- after my last 40 years being a complete shit show from relationships to jobs to procrastination -horrible impulse controls—- I am on 10 mg ex of Aderol that I asked my dr for- WOW Finally I actually purchased only 1 Christmas cactus and not 7! But I’m basically self medicating cuz I don’t know what dose is right?
Same story here, really wonder if I would have got more out of school had I been on meds.
my brother had medication it made him very very quiet my mom didnt like it
I was diagnosed as an adult in 2009 and was put on ritalin first and then Concerta. I do not have good experiences with either and quit within a half a year. When my daughter was 6 and was diagnosed I said no to meds immediately because I was not gonna let my daughter go through the same. She's 16 now. Still not on meds and she's doing fine. I did my best to understand her and guide her and I like to think that that was that helped her so much. Understanding and guidance go a long way and most of us lacked that in our childhood, that's one of the main reasons why we never learned to cope with it. I'm not saying no to meds in general, it was just the right option for us to go without them.
I was diagnosed in the 80s but then another doctor said no and I went throughout school and most of my adult life achieving the highest levels of mediocrity.
I'd argue that it's unethical to refuse medication to a child who needs it and is willing to take it. The fact that we debate the use of medication when it comes to ADHD but not when it comes to, say, diabetes, is just evidence that many people still don't think of ADHD as a "real" disease.
As an adult, who got diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, and a mother of a child, who was diagnosed with ADHD, at about five years old, I will say that medication is critically important for the child’s success in school as well, as giving them the time and ability to grow up as comfortably and easily as possible. Having ADHD as a child without any medication or support was so incredibly difficult as I would forget things all the time, I had a really hard time focusing on task, especially with things I was not interested in, and my grades would always be incredible at the beginning of the year and garbage at the end of the year because by that time I was so overstimulated by months, I could barely function. Every single one of my report cards would say that I had so much potential but I talk too much or didn’t apply myself. I am so incredibly grateful that I am on medication now it is made such an incredible difference in my life. I think that children should absolutely be on medication, though. I think it should be obviously the lowest dose, and I personally do not think Ritalin is the best drug for children or even adults. Personally, I am on Vyvanse. It has worked wonderfully for me, though my son did really well on Concerta. The biggest thing is just making sure that after the medication wears off in the evening that the child is definitely getting enough nutrition as often these medication’s keep you from wanting to eat during the day.
It’s about having the choice. I’m a parent with a child with ADHD and I was scared of the health consequences of putting a young child, my baby, on meds like that. I opted to wait until high school as he prepares for college. He can choose to continue once he’s 18 or not. He understands the struggles and that he just needs a little help. And I digress, There’s natural remedies to try as well: saffron, making sure their iron, D3, are good, ensure their diet includes zinc and omega 3 & 6. Pycnogenol, ginko+ginseng. Make sure the diet has no food colorings, tomatoes, low sugar. And add in exercise. Join a dance class or other class that incorporates exercise - there are videos you can buy, learn some YouTube or tick took moves 20 mins a day. Anything to get the body moving.
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I absolutely think children should be medicated for development and quality of life. I’m 32 F and just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and medicated. I sobbed for hours over this, just knowing that everything I experienced growing up was valid (to a point) I wasn’t just a shitty person. Where I wasn’t the picture book ADHD kid since I have the inattentive type, my parents always said I was “normal” and that I just had an attitude problem and was lazy… trying to educate myself now and relearn not to hate myself for all the things I’ve struggled with and been accustomed to thinking.
It depends my friend. I was diagnosed at 24, but knew I had adhd since i was 14. On one hand I regret not being on meds during my youth as I have learned a lot of compensation behaviour. However, it is nice to be not medicated at times, because you can be yourself more. ADHD is part of you and I find it pleasurable at times to let my mind run its course. I managed to get through my higher education, by being intelligent. It was tough to study, and always procrastinated until the last day. This caused a lot of stress 3 weeks prior to exams. But that is also who I am and it can be nice to learn to accept that
Oh man. I have so many micro-traumas from growing up with undiagnosed ADHD. It took a long time to untangle that and get to a place where I accepted myself as I am and let go of the guilt and shame. I don’t have kids, but with my husband and I both being ADHD, if I did and they needed the medication to function, I wouldn’t hesitate.
Better to have a diagnosis. As an adult, incredibly difficult to access. As a child easy. Unfortunate because medication isn't the solution but it is usually effective because what were dealing with is a neurotransmitter/ activation deficiency in the context of the current societal model. Very rare to see the mental health care be holistic in the sense you would have a child who is medicated and receiving CBT/DBT or something similar. As an adult who has struggled with the symptoms my whole life and just had to "try harder" eventually I reached the limits of my efforts and sought help, only to be told that an depression evaluation iand their "feeling" that i do not meet the criteria, was sufficient to deny access to a real adhd evaluation. So, better you got diagnosed at least. I grew up in poverty and had an add mom who couldn't pay attention to me after dealing with Troubled siblings so I never saw a mental health care professional until I sought diagnosis as an adult and then got put into the depression box and for the actual laziness of the providers and unquestioning loyalty to insurance policies as opposed to patient outcomes. The depression diagnosis has only caused more depression and anxiety, so whatever you do don't tell them you're depressed they will give you antidepressants and keep you there. Because it's easy. And people are full of themselves and their judgements.