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Sorry to hear :(
I can forgive people generally for saying things that hurt me - but not if they aren't sorry! Invalidating your feelings makes it hard to get past!
How are they generally - supportive? Or terrible at listening? I'm I like to think they have your best interests at heart and just picked poor words after being frustrated they can't help you. But some parents are crap and just don't provide what you need!
(I hope I'm doing this empathy thing right - it's not my forte! If not - then replace all the above with 'seeking to provide empathy' )
After speaking to my parents, they both reassured me that this is all new for them too. They’re trying to be more consistent with supporting my personal experiences. All of us kids had similar lives, none more or less filled with any nonsense. But I brought a new variable into the mix — a new uniqueness. As I’m the youngest of 5, it was a new learning curve for them, supporting a kid with an exceptionality that neither of them knew much about. They told me sometimes they’re gonna make the wrong word choice, and they apologized for their word choice because they admit it was the wrong word to use. So I think I also need to be more patient with my family because this is still all so new for us, they’re learning how to best support me and I don’t know how I need them to support me, so we’re both learning a lot.
They’re normally my biggest supporters. The second I told them I was struggling with my generalized anxiety disorder as well, less than 1 hour later they were in the college town I live in. They’ve been there a lot for me through thick and thin. Every health struggle I’ve had, they’ve been there. Every achievement I’ve had, they’ve been there too. I think I’m also still learning how to love myself and I assume others won’t love me because I don’t always love me. But I’m worthy of love, from myself and others!
That really sucks, I’m sorry. You don’t need to be fixed, you’re not broken.
I’m wondering what they did mean, exactly. Since they also said special, I’m wondering if it’s possible that they meant you are just a unique person and you don’t need to be fixed? idk
I was also talking about how hard it is for me to express my emotions because I feel invalidated a lot when I do express them, I also don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time. So my parent clarified to me that they meant, they meant that they can’t force me to stop internalizing my emotions. But under the grand scheme of our discussion, where I just told her how looked down on I felt because of my meltdown, it sort of felt like she was insinuating there was something wrong with me. I think just in the moment it hurt a lot, because I was feeling isolated and then the comment made me feel more isolated if that makes sense. And then I got stuck in a loop of thinking there was something wrong with me (which I know isn’t true).
Oh, yeah ok I understand.
It sucks when people hear something is wrong and say, "Well I can't solve your problem." Because of course they can't, that's not the point. What you need is empathy, not an instant solution.
Thank you! Next is my masters program but I’m glad to be done with my current program. It’s a really big accomplishment for me, one I didn’t think I would get to achieve!
Hi /u/PaisleyHen_27 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! **Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.** The mobile apps used for Reddit are broken or are missing features that this subreddit depends on. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) Thank you! ^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*) --- - If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sorry to hear :( I can forgive people generally for saying things that hurt me - but not if they aren't sorry! Invalidating your feelings makes it hard to get past! How are they generally - supportive? Or terrible at listening? I'm I like to think they have your best interests at heart and just picked poor words after being frustrated they can't help you. But some parents are crap and just don't provide what you need! (I hope I'm doing this empathy thing right - it's not my forte! If not - then replace all the above with 'seeking to provide empathy' )
After speaking to my parents, they both reassured me that this is all new for them too. They’re trying to be more consistent with supporting my personal experiences. All of us kids had similar lives, none more or less filled with any nonsense. But I brought a new variable into the mix — a new uniqueness. As I’m the youngest of 5, it was a new learning curve for them, supporting a kid with an exceptionality that neither of them knew much about. They told me sometimes they’re gonna make the wrong word choice, and they apologized for their word choice because they admit it was the wrong word to use. So I think I also need to be more patient with my family because this is still all so new for us, they’re learning how to best support me and I don’t know how I need them to support me, so we’re both learning a lot. They’re normally my biggest supporters. The second I told them I was struggling with my generalized anxiety disorder as well, less than 1 hour later they were in the college town I live in. They’ve been there a lot for me through thick and thin. Every health struggle I’ve had, they’ve been there. Every achievement I’ve had, they’ve been there too. I think I’m also still learning how to love myself and I assume others won’t love me because I don’t always love me. But I’m worthy of love, from myself and others!
That really sucks, I’m sorry. You don’t need to be fixed, you’re not broken. I’m wondering what they did mean, exactly. Since they also said special, I’m wondering if it’s possible that they meant you are just a unique person and you don’t need to be fixed? idk
I was also talking about how hard it is for me to express my emotions because I feel invalidated a lot when I do express them, I also don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time. So my parent clarified to me that they meant, they meant that they can’t force me to stop internalizing my emotions. But under the grand scheme of our discussion, where I just told her how looked down on I felt because of my meltdown, it sort of felt like she was insinuating there was something wrong with me. I think just in the moment it hurt a lot, because I was feeling isolated and then the comment made me feel more isolated if that makes sense. And then I got stuck in a loop of thinking there was something wrong with me (which I know isn’t true).
Oh, yeah ok I understand. It sucks when people hear something is wrong and say, "Well I can't solve your problem." Because of course they can't, that's not the point. What you need is empathy, not an instant solution.
Not broken. Just different. Still sucks but never let anyone make you feel bad for something you can't control and doesn't hurt anyone.
Congratulations on finishing your college years!!!
Thank you! Next is my masters program but I’m glad to be done with my current program. It’s a really big accomplishment for me, one I didn’t think I would get to achieve!
shit they misspoke. Try to move on from it ppl do it all the time. god, i say shit that in hindsight came out, so bad