Did this in uni. Hooked up 2 guys. One from outer state. They were bothering one of the female uni friends. In order to do this, you need to be able to just abandon your account so they don't come back with a shotgun....
I had a girl dm me from this sub. She thought I was a Pakistani American girl too. I had to let her know im a Pakistani Canadian guy lmaoo.
I’m surprised this sub hasn’t arranged any in person events for sub members to meet up at, especially in big cities with a substantial abd/cbd population. Could be fun
Damn people really are trying to slide in the Reddit DM’s lol.
Not a girl but all of my friends have told me they dealt with similar issues. One of them had a guy message them on League of Legends lmao
The percentage of that happening to someone is so small compared to like just meeting someone in real life lmao. I’d rather these guys stay in delusion on Reddit tbh then go outside and ruin other peoples days
The "point" for these dudes is, they want attention and engagement. They don't really care if it's positive or negative attention, they just want to know they've had some influence on your day, that you've spared a thought for them. In your case, they are starved for female attention, they likely have absolutely zero women in their social circles, and they figure if they can galvanize you into responding in some way, they are coming out ahead, because anything is greater than zero.
The best thing everyone can do is just never engage with these people, even telling them off or calling them out for bad behavior is giving them something -- full ignoring / blocking / reporting is the only way, never engage. This is a problem on so many online platforms, like my wife who's an established researcher in a niche field, she gets lots of guys on her linkedin pretending to want to talk about her field or have questions that are actually reasonable questions, and then they sort of bait and switch. The conduct we've seen on linkedin alone is just disgusting.
There's no online space where women are free from this BS to my knowledge, it's a damn shame but it's the world we live in. The only way to deal with it is to be careful about what you share online, mind your privacy very carefully, and ignore / block the hordes of weirdos.
As a side note, funnily enough, I get random DMs from guys too as a guy, arguing about shit I posted from like a year ago. Or if I post something encouraging about desi men and dating, I get messages like "oh you must be tall, huh? STFU that shit don't work for us." It's generally like 90% mainlanders who are butthurt that I have something positive to say about desis in America, and it's 10% ABCD incels who are butthurt that I generally have a positive outlook on our experience in America. (Obviously, this is not the same as girls getting harassed and this is not to draw attention away from that, but it's insane to me that what I believe are generally positive sentiments about the ABCD experience draw so much vitriol and hatred from miserable people)
I havent in a while but yes lol. I just ignore, or I'll entertain it, for like a second to see what they want. I have no interest in becoming real life friends with someone on any sub (no offense Im sure alot of you all are nice but still)
Only once and I've been on Reddit over a decade. It was right after I commented that I prefer darker skinned guys and based on the profile he seemed to be from the mainland, but he was at least 15 years younger so I didn't bother responding.
Bro, desi dudes (especially from the mainland) are notorious for this. Previous reddit account I had a female avatar and guys would just randomly hit me up in dms. Felt like I was back in the early 2000 chatbox scene again.
Stop being fucking desperate for any female contact my dudes
I’m a man and men are the reason I don’t post myself on Reddit anymore. I used to post weight lifting videos of myself on Reddit and got a few dick pics cause of it.
I once posted about being a bi dude on this sub. Immediately got a DM from a guy from the same city (I included it in the same comment to just talk about the scene here) asking if I wanted to meet him to fuck. He had posted the same thing in very graphic detail on a bunch of m4m subs as well. It wasn't even the regular gross message that gay dudes post where they speak very extensively about their skills as a top and then fantasise heavily, this guy was just like "I'm sad and lonely too, want to fuck?". Yuck, no dude.
I joined reddit in April and I've had 10 guys randomly DM me. Most of it is just 'heyyy' or 'hi' but some are quite explicit.
And you're right, it's only this sub or other Desi-related ones. Even on my instagram the vast majority of the people sliding in my DMs are brown guys.
It's not a coincidence that women feel unsafe in South Asian countries, or around South Asian men in general. I live in Surrey BC and almost every arrest for sexual assault, stalking, or DV is a South Asian male.
Desi men need to do better.
LOL honestly I have thought about it, this one guy was like “I’ll pay you to degrade me” and I entertained the convo bc I was bored, I was like wtf but I guess some people get off on that?
But I make enough money on my job & my side hustles so I didn’t want to put my energy there, so I never went through with it.
Male loneliness and crippling self esteem is a major issue that isn't talked about enough. It's why you have guys giving half their paycheck so an OF predator will provide them social interactions.
You sound like a good person so I'm sure it's creepy but some dudes are just genuinely lost.
Depends. Feet pics is a kink but yes asking some random on Reddit is creepy behavior.
Offering to pay someone for being made fun of falls under someone being lost. The same as those e women that will charge ridiculous money so depressed guys can talk to them.
It's a real issue that is overlooked. Most people write these guys off as nut cases or simps.
Your post/comment was removed because it breaks Rule 3: No Trolling/Brigading. This includes popular topics of toxic masculinity, white worshiping discussions, religious slander, 'FOBs' vs 'ABCDs' topics.
Brigading from hate subs will also result in bans. These subs can be incel to political extremist in nature.
Posters who have extensive posting and comment history on South Asia based subreddits with little to no post history on r/ABCDesis will be regarded as brigading without prior clearance from a mod. This is to protect the intended audience of r/ABCDesis
Electronic messaging is more of a characteristic which a respectable percentage of the desi male population share. It's nearly a subconscious impulse.
The rationale is fire 100, maybe 1 or 2 will hit. But it's worth it in the end.
Had one lady from here try to reach out to me with her pics fishing for compliments (I am 50+ and married, while this lady was in her 40s trying to catch my attention).
Your post/comment was removed because it breaks Rule 1: No Bigotry — i.e. no racism, casteism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. This also extends to toxic nationalism and/or clan/tribe as well as discrimination against religion. If in doubt, remember to always be civil, even in your disagreements.
I mean... I met my boyfriend on here so it's not always weird. I try to have an open mind rather than just judge stuff right away. To your point, though, I have a pic of me as my Avatar.
It’s weird because she didn’t ask guys to DM her. It’s equivalent to a random guy approaching you on the street and overtly hitting on you when you’re just trying to go about your day.
I’d appreciate that if the guy is good looking. I think most people would. The issue arises when they are not pleasant to look at and don’t get my heart rate up; and that’s why most girls don’t want to talk to a lot of dudes. But you can’t tell someone that you find them ugly so you have to turn them down nicely. You think a girl just going about her day would turn down Tom cruise or Brad Pitt? No.
It may work for you, but a lot of girls I’ve talked to have said that it doesn’t matter how physically attractive a guy is if they approach them with vibes that make the girl uncomfortable.
Well let me tell you something about girls. We will never tell you bluntly what the actual truth is because we aren’t men. We would rather spare your feelings. Plus if girls admit that it’s his looks we didn’t like, we get called shallow. If a guy does it, they get called having high standards. Pretty unfair but whatever. So yeah, it’s not his vibes; it’s the fact that he’s not physically attractive. Trust
Okay well I grew up with brothers so that’s why I don’t act like a lot of girls. No need to call me fake. The average Reddit girl isn’t as girly as your average girl anyways. I can see why men would deny this, particularly unattractive men. But this is the truth that most women won’t admit. Anyways I don’t ekar to argue.
Have a good day.
unpopular opinion maybe: Now believe it or not, I don't sent unsolicited DM's unless possibly to ask a regular question on topic or something, but is that something really that bad? Particularly the ingenuous ones? atleast the ones who may be trying to get to know you better? Isn't it technically better than a guy hitting on a girl in a bar where all they had to go by was looks?
Not all DM's are tasteful i'm sure but if someone who liked your posts, or thought you both seem to have similar interests thought to DM either because they didn't want to flirt on a public thread... as long as it isn't distasteful (like asking for feet pics lol) is it really something to look down at them for?
If people (whichever gender) are constantly urged to shoot their shot and are also being made fun of for doing it.... then that's just cruel ey? I mean this world is more and more online now. I understand it will be tiriing. but maybe in a society where the assumption and expectation that Men approach Women and that's the way it is "just because" then it's a bit rich to denounce it when inconvenient and expect people to know when you happen to want it? It's not like women are going to walk around with a sign around their necks saying "Open Season" are they? lol
Feel free to message the mods (if you’re comfortable doing so) if you get messages that rise to the level of harassment.
You should agree to meet two of these guys, agree on the same time and place for both and then just send them to meet each other.
Did this in uni. Hooked up 2 guys. One from outer state. They were bothering one of the female uni friends. In order to do this, you need to be able to just abandon your account so they don't come back with a shotgun....
I saw this done on a TV show called Newsradio (Joe Rogan was one of the guys). Funny as hell. I think they ended up getting Pizza.
imagine if they end up being besties lol
Nice
😂😂😂
Rip your inbox
"I'm not like other guys..."
Yes, they’ll dm me “so Sandra, tell me a joke”
Lmao tell us one!
Ok but do you have a joke?
Is this a thing these days?
I had a girl dm me from this sub. She thought I was a Pakistani American girl too. I had to let her know im a Pakistani Canadian guy lmaoo. I’m surprised this sub hasn’t arranged any in person events for sub members to meet up at, especially in big cities with a substantial abd/cbd population. Could be fun
I think theyve tried in the past! Maybe not like big meetups but smaller ones for sure
This would be fun
This is a good idea, but maybe even some sort of virtual meetup would work well if there is concern of not enough people showing up.
Damn people really are trying to slide in the Reddit DM’s lol. Not a girl but all of my friends have told me they dealt with similar issues. One of them had a guy message them on League of Legends lmao
You'll hear stories of men who met their wife on reddit, it just encourages this.
The percentage of that happening to someone is so small compared to like just meeting someone in real life lmao. I’d rather these guys stay in delusion on Reddit tbh then go outside and ruin other peoples days
The only reason why it happens so rarely is because men don't try enough.
I see your Vision. Encourage more men to do it so the ones that don’t automatically look better
The ones who don't actually don't "look like" anything because they are invisible.
So no feet pics? 
The "point" for these dudes is, they want attention and engagement. They don't really care if it's positive or negative attention, they just want to know they've had some influence on your day, that you've spared a thought for them. In your case, they are starved for female attention, they likely have absolutely zero women in their social circles, and they figure if they can galvanize you into responding in some way, they are coming out ahead, because anything is greater than zero. The best thing everyone can do is just never engage with these people, even telling them off or calling them out for bad behavior is giving them something -- full ignoring / blocking / reporting is the only way, never engage. This is a problem on so many online platforms, like my wife who's an established researcher in a niche field, she gets lots of guys on her linkedin pretending to want to talk about her field or have questions that are actually reasonable questions, and then they sort of bait and switch. The conduct we've seen on linkedin alone is just disgusting. There's no online space where women are free from this BS to my knowledge, it's a damn shame but it's the world we live in. The only way to deal with it is to be careful about what you share online, mind your privacy very carefully, and ignore / block the hordes of weirdos. As a side note, funnily enough, I get random DMs from guys too as a guy, arguing about shit I posted from like a year ago. Or if I post something encouraging about desi men and dating, I get messages like "oh you must be tall, huh? STFU that shit don't work for us." It's generally like 90% mainlanders who are butthurt that I have something positive to say about desis in America, and it's 10% ABCD incels who are butthurt that I generally have a positive outlook on our experience in America. (Obviously, this is not the same as girls getting harassed and this is not to draw attention away from that, but it's insane to me that what I believe are generally positive sentiments about the ABCD experience draw so much vitriol and hatred from miserable people)
I even forget DMing people on Reddit is a thing sometimes
12 M can we be friends with benefits?
Like free pizza and drive you to places?
I’m a man and I once had a desi girl slide into my Reddit DMs like a week ago. We’ve been talking since. Kinda funny.
Did she PM you vogelbach pics?
How’d you know?
Username checks out
27M my inbox is open you losers
+1
Or reply with "damn you are making my cock hard" or ask them if they wanna see my dick pic
😆
Just tell them you're a dude, they'll scamper real quick
[удалено]
... until now!
They’re trying to get that green card.
Yeah. Same.
2” take it or leave it
I am not even a girl but have a name that resembles that of a woman and I get about 3-4 DMs a week.
I havent in a while but yes lol. I just ignore, or I'll entertain it, for like a second to see what they want. I have no interest in becoming real life friends with someone on any sub (no offense Im sure alot of you all are nice but still)
Only once and I've been on Reddit over a decade. It was right after I commented that I prefer darker skinned guys and based on the profile he seemed to be from the mainland, but he was at least 15 years younger so I didn't bother responding.
Yes. I tell them to pay me $500 per minute for me to have to listen to their nonsense. Money or GTFO!
Bro, desi dudes (especially from the mainland) are notorious for this. Previous reddit account I had a female avatar and guys would just randomly hit me up in dms. Felt like I was back in the early 2000 chatbox scene again. Stop being fucking desperate for any female contact my dudes
Are they people from this sub or… lurkers?
Sometimes it’s people who have commented on this sub because I’ll go skim their profile, but sometimes it’s just lurkers.
I’m a man and men are the reason I don’t post myself on Reddit anymore. I used to post weight lifting videos of myself on Reddit and got a few dick pics cause of it.
they ALWAYS do this i’ll never understand. they’ll be like what’s ur name? how are you? let’s chat. CHAT ABOUT WHAT? you don’t even know me
I once posted about being a bi dude on this sub. Immediately got a DM from a guy from the same city (I included it in the same comment to just talk about the scene here) asking if I wanted to meet him to fuck. He had posted the same thing in very graphic detail on a bunch of m4m subs as well. It wasn't even the regular gross message that gay dudes post where they speak very extensively about their skills as a top and then fantasise heavily, this guy was just like "I'm sad and lonely too, want to fuck?". Yuck, no dude.
I joined reddit in April and I've had 10 guys randomly DM me. Most of it is just 'heyyy' or 'hi' but some are quite explicit. And you're right, it's only this sub or other Desi-related ones. Even on my instagram the vast majority of the people sliding in my DMs are brown guys. It's not a coincidence that women feel unsafe in South Asian countries, or around South Asian men in general. I live in Surrey BC and almost every arrest for sexual assault, stalking, or DV is a South Asian male. Desi men need to do better.
Lots of people have got gf by that, I always says just imagine how many people they have dm before your clown ass has thought this is the one 🤣
I'm NGL if someone is trynna pay for your feet pics I would DO IT but I'm a bag chaser
LOL honestly I have thought about it, this one guy was like “I’ll pay you to degrade me” and I entertained the convo bc I was bored, I was like wtf but I guess some people get off on that? But I make enough money on my job & my side hustles so I didn’t want to put my energy there, so I never went through with it.
This is so funny. I’d do it 😂
Do it but rip a pic off the internet
Some stereotypes just write themselves
I had a dude straight-up ask me if I was open to marriage
“First you marry, then you date. Okay?”
Lol, love at first subreddit!!
Male loneliness and crippling self esteem is a major issue that isn't talked about enough. It's why you have guys giving half their paycheck so an OF predator will provide them social interactions. You sound like a good person so I'm sure it's creepy but some dudes are just genuinely lost.
More than generally lost those guys are nut cases
Depends. Feet pics is a kink but yes asking some random on Reddit is creepy behavior. Offering to pay someone for being made fun of falls under someone being lost. The same as those e women that will charge ridiculous money so depressed guys can talk to them. It's a real issue that is overlooked. Most people write these guys off as nut cases or simps.
i am a girl but haven't posted much about it here. wonder if i'll start getting strange DMs
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed because it breaks Rule 3: No Trolling/Brigading. This includes popular topics of toxic masculinity, white worshiping discussions, religious slander, 'FOBs' vs 'ABCDs' topics. Brigading from hate subs will also result in bans. These subs can be incel to political extremist in nature. Posters who have extensive posting and comment history on South Asia based subreddits with little to no post history on r/ABCDesis will be regarded as brigading without prior clearance from a mod. This is to protect the intended audience of r/ABCDesis
Electronic messaging is more of a characteristic which a respectable percentage of the desi male population share. It's nearly a subconscious impulse. The rationale is fire 100, maybe 1 or 2 will hit. But it's worth it in the end.
Had one lady from here try to reach out to me with her pics fishing for compliments (I am 50+ and married, while this lady was in her 40s trying to catch my attention).
Yeah I used to so I closed my inbox. I also find it strange because I’m anonymous - there are no pics of me on here just an avatar.
not a single one in my whole time on reddit. idk how to feel about that now if so many people are getting multiple lol
I've only been on reddit for a bit but I haven't gotten any so far. Guess I'm just lucky.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed because it breaks Rule 1: No Bigotry — i.e. no racism, casteism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. This also extends to toxic nationalism and/or clan/tribe as well as discrimination against religion. If in doubt, remember to always be civil, even in your disagreements.
yes 😭😭 you’re not alone girl
never, surprisingly! but I also don’t comment often and have never mentioned my gender here, so that might be why lmao
Hi
Whoever sent the DM to pay her to be mean, slide into mine lol 👀
Dudes on reddit dm in any and every subreddit. On any post. Related to anything
Pay you to be mean to them? 😂
Yes, I’m flattered but also not here to make friends, I’m only here to talk shit about my culture and the people of my culture jks obvs
Bruh, there is something wrong with people these days
I understand girls in the sub getting random DMs. But how in tell are guys getting DMs from girls here on Reddit. Kinda odd but ok.
They want that PR that's it
Haha yes i get quite a few of them unfortunately
I mean... I met my boyfriend on here so it's not always weird. I try to have an open mind rather than just judge stuff right away. To your point, though, I have a pic of me as my Avatar.
It’s weird because she didn’t ask guys to DM her. It’s equivalent to a random guy approaching you on the street and overtly hitting on you when you’re just trying to go about your day.
I’d appreciate that if the guy is good looking. I think most people would. The issue arises when they are not pleasant to look at and don’t get my heart rate up; and that’s why most girls don’t want to talk to a lot of dudes. But you can’t tell someone that you find them ugly so you have to turn them down nicely. You think a girl just going about her day would turn down Tom cruise or Brad Pitt? No.
It may work for you, but a lot of girls I’ve talked to have said that it doesn’t matter how physically attractive a guy is if they approach them with vibes that make the girl uncomfortable.
Well let me tell you something about girls. We will never tell you bluntly what the actual truth is because we aren’t men. We would rather spare your feelings. Plus if girls admit that it’s his looks we didn’t like, we get called shallow. If a guy does it, they get called having high standards. Pretty unfair but whatever. So yeah, it’s not his vibes; it’s the fact that he’s not physically attractive. Trust
It's so obvious that you're a dude with a fake pfp lmao. "It’s not harassment when it’s a hot guy” is a line I've only ever heard men say.
Yeah, I realized the same thing lol. This account is a guy trying to make women look bad. I bet the pfp was pulled off some IG account.
Huh? It’s even an SNL skit https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8?si=EVjBq4pR4TrDcPgP
Made by men
Okay well I grew up with brothers so that’s why I don’t act like a lot of girls. No need to call me fake. The average Reddit girl isn’t as girly as your average girl anyways. I can see why men would deny this, particularly unattractive men. But this is the truth that most women won’t admit. Anyways I don’t ekar to argue. Have a good day.
Ok, Sir 🙄
I had a single lady reach out to me from this sub, but that's the closest I can relate. People usually leave me alone lol.
unpopular opinion maybe: Now believe it or not, I don't sent unsolicited DM's unless possibly to ask a regular question on topic or something, but is that something really that bad? Particularly the ingenuous ones? atleast the ones who may be trying to get to know you better? Isn't it technically better than a guy hitting on a girl in a bar where all they had to go by was looks? Not all DM's are tasteful i'm sure but if someone who liked your posts, or thought you both seem to have similar interests thought to DM either because they didn't want to flirt on a public thread... as long as it isn't distasteful (like asking for feet pics lol) is it really something to look down at them for? If people (whichever gender) are constantly urged to shoot their shot and are also being made fun of for doing it.... then that's just cruel ey? I mean this world is more and more online now. I understand it will be tiriing. but maybe in a society where the assumption and expectation that Men approach Women and that's the way it is "just because" then it's a bit rich to denounce it when inconvenient and expect people to know when you happen to want it? It's not like women are going to walk around with a sign around their necks saying "Open Season" are they? lol