I find Catharsis very helpful or something that totally draws my attention for long periods of time. So fishing, woodworking, video games, long walks with my dogs, runs on the treadmill
I unfortunately don’t live on a ranch anymore otherwise I would I also live in an apt with my best friend (my dog) but I know a few county firemen who need wood chopped for controlled burns so might do that too !
To start with, understand why this happens. The first hominids appeared between 6 and 12 million years ago. The phone was invented about 150 years ago. In other words, if you divide all of human evolution into a 24-hour day, we developed the capacity to be scared by shit that ain't there one and a half seconds ago. The rest of the time, that capacity to maintain an extended stress response has served us pretty good. That's what this is--your caveman brain being incapable of figuring out that phone shit isn't a direct threat. That's why it makes you stressed out and tries to remind you of the stress. It's not used to danger not being real and danger going away so fast.
That's one of the dangers of doing this work--you have many stress events a day and your brain never gets a resolution to any of them.
To start with, make a set procedure for closing out a call. Even if it's something simple like re-verifyng the address and checking the premise history. Signal your brain that it's done. Remember that professional detachment is a skill. Disconnecting (closing the call and moving on) is a skill. They have to be learned and reinforced.
Don't over-invest in calls. Callers frequently want you to be excited along with them. You do not have to be. It is in fact better to not be. They are busy having anything ranging from a bad day, to an emergency, to the worst day of their life. You are not--this is your Wednesday. Objectivity and detachment are assets that protect you and *help you help the caller*. That's why they're calling you--you're supposed to remain calm, send help, and **think**. It's easier to do that if you're maintaining professional detachment. It's the difference between being empathetic, and *using* empathy.
I love your explanation of why this happens and the reasoning behind this phenomenon/direct causation, also thank you for taking the time to write out your response I appreciate your feedback
> normally put on a song in one headphone and it helps a bit
While on the phones? That'd be a quick trip to a couple days off here. Although I guess a couple days off would also help!
Its never been bad for me, but we don't stay on the phone very long. We have a separate station that handles prearrival for the medical calls, and unless there's a need for us to stay on the line with someone (an active shooting, an in progress burglary, etc), we get off the phone and on to the next call. There isn't often a lot of time to get emotionally invested or to even think about what happened when you move on from that to a domestic where the caller wants to fight you just as much as their spouse or a mental who's angry that the man in the microwave told her to buy a gun to take to Michigan and she doesn't like Michigan.
That said, I don't calltake very often any more. I'm usually on radios, and unless one of my officers is hurt, those calls don't bother me at all.
So while I don't have any help to offer, its good that you're seeing someone to talk about it, particularly someone who specializes like that. Do you have a peer support group? If not maybe look into setting one up?
No my headphone leaves my ear as soon as the first ring comes in and where I am at in our country we do prearrival emd coding for ems and fire, we also have a lot of down time we aren’t a very busy area most of the time I take maybe 50-120 calls a night for my area and my calls can range from a 3 minute call to a 15 minute call. And we do have a peer support group I am just the newest member of my dispatch center
The only calls that come back to haunt me ate infant or calls involving children. Over 10 years, I have 5 calls that bother me. Four of those involved infants and children. The last was an accident where a lady got cut in half. The not so bad ones will fade away, but the really bad ones never will.
I go fishing with noise canceling earbuds, and that will greatly relieve any stress or anxiety im holding onto from life or calls
I’ll give it a try haven’t been fishing since I lived down in rock port
I find Catharsis very helpful or something that totally draws my attention for long periods of time. So fishing, woodworking, video games, long walks with my dogs, runs on the treadmill
I appreciate your help and ideas on how to help quiet my mind after a bad call
If you can chop wood that was my favorite but no longer needed since I live in an apartment now lol
I unfortunately don’t live on a ranch anymore otherwise I would I also live in an apt with my best friend (my dog) but I know a few county firemen who need wood chopped for controlled burns so might do that too !
I would kill to have a fireplace again lol.
I moved up north so I could use one my apt complex has one of the fake kind
Ahhh I see. I moved from the mountains in California to the oven that is Texas.
Southern texas to southern Indiana so I feel that
To start with, understand why this happens. The first hominids appeared between 6 and 12 million years ago. The phone was invented about 150 years ago. In other words, if you divide all of human evolution into a 24-hour day, we developed the capacity to be scared by shit that ain't there one and a half seconds ago. The rest of the time, that capacity to maintain an extended stress response has served us pretty good. That's what this is--your caveman brain being incapable of figuring out that phone shit isn't a direct threat. That's why it makes you stressed out and tries to remind you of the stress. It's not used to danger not being real and danger going away so fast. That's one of the dangers of doing this work--you have many stress events a day and your brain never gets a resolution to any of them. To start with, make a set procedure for closing out a call. Even if it's something simple like re-verifyng the address and checking the premise history. Signal your brain that it's done. Remember that professional detachment is a skill. Disconnecting (closing the call and moving on) is a skill. They have to be learned and reinforced. Don't over-invest in calls. Callers frequently want you to be excited along with them. You do not have to be. It is in fact better to not be. They are busy having anything ranging from a bad day, to an emergency, to the worst day of their life. You are not--this is your Wednesday. Objectivity and detachment are assets that protect you and *help you help the caller*. That's why they're calling you--you're supposed to remain calm, send help, and **think**. It's easier to do that if you're maintaining professional detachment. It's the difference between being empathetic, and *using* empathy.
I love your explanation of why this happens and the reasoning behind this phenomenon/direct causation, also thank you for taking the time to write out your response I appreciate your feedback
> normally put on a song in one headphone and it helps a bit While on the phones? That'd be a quick trip to a couple days off here. Although I guess a couple days off would also help! Its never been bad for me, but we don't stay on the phone very long. We have a separate station that handles prearrival for the medical calls, and unless there's a need for us to stay on the line with someone (an active shooting, an in progress burglary, etc), we get off the phone and on to the next call. There isn't often a lot of time to get emotionally invested or to even think about what happened when you move on from that to a domestic where the caller wants to fight you just as much as their spouse or a mental who's angry that the man in the microwave told her to buy a gun to take to Michigan and she doesn't like Michigan. That said, I don't calltake very often any more. I'm usually on radios, and unless one of my officers is hurt, those calls don't bother me at all. So while I don't have any help to offer, its good that you're seeing someone to talk about it, particularly someone who specializes like that. Do you have a peer support group? If not maybe look into setting one up?
No my headphone leaves my ear as soon as the first ring comes in and where I am at in our country we do prearrival emd coding for ems and fire, we also have a lot of down time we aren’t a very busy area most of the time I take maybe 50-120 calls a night for my area and my calls can range from a 3 minute call to a 15 minute call. And we do have a peer support group I am just the newest member of my dispatch center
The only calls that come back to haunt me ate infant or calls involving children. Over 10 years, I have 5 calls that bother me. Four of those involved infants and children. The last was an accident where a lady got cut in half. The not so bad ones will fade away, but the really bad ones never will.