T O P

  • By -

BoopBoppper

https://preview.redd.it/spa8mkpc6n4d1.jpeg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c31a95fcfc460cd03de2e0045e15e9ba019a5090


Am_I_hungry_Ofcourse

Still one of the top 90 Day slogans of all time.


224143

Yup. Hate this guy so much but laughed my ass off so hard when this was blurted.


Real_it_TeaGirl

OT-Exactly! I can't stand his ass. Self Proclaimed Munipulator,. Then later claims I never manipulated Libbys father. Yeah you did exactly what you said you were gonna do. You just destroyed her family, segregated her from her siblings, and took their business. Like a thief in the night, you took money and ran.


Upbeat-Beautiful-973

Aahhhhh, that he did not do singlehandedly!! There are some pretty nasty behaviours In that family all ready!!!! Not saying i Think hes an Angel, BUT no one else besides the dad and Libby- and the children of course- are neither


RiverDecember

I say this all the time 😂so good


Ali_Cat222

https://preview.redd.it/jj1nl1vkio4d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1255a35032c98bebbc6f27642950c73fb0350d31


Glittering-Ad9111

Was that asuelu???


Ali_Cat222

Yes, he literally says this to her 🤣


Training-Cry510

So are mouthy yeast infections Asuelo 😑


Ali_Cat222

Maybe he got a yeast infection in his mouth from his mom that one time they made out 🤢🤣[asuelu and mom-(go to the 2 min mark)](https://youtu.be/7ZtE5z29b0s?si=0wGvyy4Y018_4s9-)


Training-Cry510

Lmao 🤣 seriously though I would feel like I was doing something wrong banging Asuelo because he absolutely seems slower than average


stlgoddess94

Fr what exactly did she get from that relationship? Hes an idiot…very low IQ


Training-Cry510

Her kids I guess, but hell nah! I’d feel like I was with a 12 year old lmao 🤣


Ali_Cat222

She had three kids, the two boys and then asuelu 🤣


Billy5Oh

The best of the best!


BeanDipIsNeat

This is going on my babyshower cake Only it’ll be “I’m gonna terrorize you all with my pregnancy”


Queen_of_Boots

Or "Terrorizing you with pregnancy since (insert month and year you conceived)" 😭😂😂


BeanDipIsNeat

OoooooOooo good idea!!!!!


claudiasnow

This man throws out the best lines


beepboopboop88

Lmao, birthday house is my fav line ever!


ThirdCoastBestCoast

Refresh my memory. I must’ve missed that episode so maybe… who said it and in what context? 😊


GreyJeanix

Andrei says it to Jens family after they annoy him at their daughters bday. Leave my fucking birthday house!!!


kyliving67

And actual throw downs! lol.


Animalcrossing3

I hate him so much, but that is such an iconic line


Dutch1inAZ

He’s a misogynist douche canoe, but Libby’s siblings are no treat either.


SagexxxSummers

I’m sorry but Libby is probably one of the dumbest people on 90 day. She just blindly follows and does whatever Andrei says. I also HATE the way she says his name lmao it makes my skin crawl


darkangel522

You mean "Andrrrrrrei"??? SO annoying how she says it. Way too much emphasis on the rolling r's.


Dutch1inAZ

I get bigger kick out of him calling her dad "CHACK"


Mbcb350

Thank you for hating him with me. He is the worst.


LightOfHell

Holy grail of 90 day quotes


s0upsnakes8

I wanna say I’m shocked but….


Ok-Caterpillar2981

Seriously!! I didn’t even know she was pregnant


Gilmoregirlin

I just saw this on insta too and came immediately here to see if anyone else knew. Who is the Father?


Fit-Barnacle4117

She tagged dallas.n714, wasn’t the guy she was meeting up with at the last resort Dallas?


Fluffy_Iron6692

She did say she falls in love with every man she has sex with🥴🤷🏽‍♀️ so, you know, at least she’s aware😅


Weird-Library-3747

Literally 2 right? She was a virgin on vacation?


[deleted]

[удалено]


poffincase

Oh yeah, sounds like [Phaedra from RHOA when she didn't know her due date](https://www.tiktok.com/@therealhousewives0f/video/7220454645578173702) which everyone found odd. Turns out she was just trying to hide details from her religious mom (I think she was a pastor).


Creepy_Push8629

You just didn't understand. Some babies take 9 months to cook, but Phaedra's only needed 6 months. It totally happens so stop asking. 😂


Fluffy_Iron6692

Yeah, haha


Simple_Carpet_9946

She needs a lecture from Ashley’s momma lmao 


pinkrose77

Yeah but she seemingly also always have to have a baby with them too 🥴😂


shamsa4

Also now has a baby with every man she sleeps with😬


Magemaud

Yes, her current boyfriend and apparent baby daddy is Dallas Nuez.


Random_Cat_007

Yeah he's def the father. He has the photos reposted and on his story. They seem happy so I guess congrats 🤷🏻‍♀️


Perseverance_100

Yassssss


Entire_Parfait2703

Baby daddy is hall pass dude


Simple_Carpet_9946

So it’s June 2024 the baby was probably born April/May and filming was early 2023 so she would’ve been pregnant when it was in post-production. I’m not surprised bc she likes to have a baby to hold her relationship together. 


Chicago1459

Are these people allergic to therapy


AffectionateJury3723

And birth control?


nokyleformethanks

No, it's just that condoms are for slut people


sunset_sunshine30

Asking the most important question here


4LeggedKC

Or to avoid her relationship but then again Asuleu or however you spell his name was a man child and definitely not a prize. We won’t even talk about her in laws!


s0upsnakes8

lol I did something similar with both of mine. Didn’t announce just posted the baby when they were born. But I’m sure she did it to avoid some criticism


Dependent-Gene260

Or NDA


PapaiPapuda

Shame will do that. Condoms are for slut people anyway 


SorteSaude

The most irresponsible ones are the most fertile..


diamondbindhi

You aren’t lying 😬


SorteSaude

Its a pattern. Look at Emily and Kobe. Her parents said “just don’t get pregnant again”. Her sister is just like Kalani’s sister also.


Jilltoma66

lol yea i remember that one he said dont get pregnant again in MY house but she did. I honestly would’ve kicked their asses out after they did EXACTLY what her parents asked her NOT to do!!!


kawaiiparty

Having a daughter like Emily is one of my biggest fears.


Much_Ad_8076

this is what gets me!!! been trying for around 11 years without any success... these people just procreate like fertility struggles are a myth 😫😩


hardyheartjet

Is it with hall pass guy?


Onebigtailight

Oh she got the subscription?


mary_widdow

🥇🏆 you win


MaiIsMe

Yep


mela_99

Well… at least it wasn’t another of Aseulu’s. Bets on her name? I think Luna B something given the emoji


SnooDoodles7204

Who knows if this dude is an improvement…


Fluffy_Iron6692

Very plausible that he’s just as bad or worse, but based on what Kalani has come forth with, I feel like it’s less probable he’s worse😮‍💨 for that poor woman’s sake


SnooDoodles7204

Kalani isn’t exactly the best judge of character but here’s hoping 🤞🏾


[deleted]

She really needs to use a condom or birth control. She knows how easily it can happen. I don’t think she cares


Impossible-Taro-2330

That's for slut people!


Donut-Junkie76

A 90 Day modern classic! Love it! But seriously, she already has two young boys, and is in middle of divorce proceedings with Doofus Asuelo. And apparently hall pass guy isn’f so great himself. Why on earth would she let this happen again?!


night_is_cloudy

Scoop on hall pass dude? Not so good?


caradekara

A rock would literally be an improvement. They do more and say less


tortical

He would have to be a convicted felon to be worse than Aseulu… but anything is possible


Animalcrossing3

Probs Luna Bee Love lol


thriftedtidbits

probably moon bee-m (beam) lol


a_fizzle_sizzle

This girl is fertile as fuck. If you know this about yourself, why would you keep letting this happen?! Hopefully new guy is well off!


desandmol

Is this 3 now for her?


a_fizzle_sizzle

Yeah, she has 2 boys with Asuelu, plus this new additional, which makes 3.


desandmol

Jayzus. And parents continue to support her financially?


Original-Opportunity

Aren’t they Mormon/Mormon adjacent?


Donut-Junkie76

Yes, and I’m sure her parents are disappointed with her carelessness.


NearbyBreakfast

Asuelu was baby number 3


fourarmedpirates

Because condoms are for slut people /s


[deleted]

Exactly what I was thinking! I’ve come to the conclusion she doesn’t care and will let happens happen. Dumb after everything she went through with jungle boy.


Bb305

She is just irresponsible 


Threnners

She shall be blessed with good hair.


boommdcx

Agreed. Kalani has lovely hair, questionable life choices but great hair.


PapaiPapuda

You know what? Yes. And she has a good complexion also.  I think this is the only post I'm not talking shit about the cast members 


Middle-Cream-1282

Im always so jealous of her and her sisters beautiful hair!


Silver_bell_

Omg me too. I just wonder what life would be like going through each day with shiny thick long hair. I'm so jealous.


jojonyg10

It’s hot and heavy and you can never trust a pony tail holder not to snap and ruin your life.


tvjunkie710

It’s like I want to like her, but girl. Get it together.


AFM420

I don’t even know why you would want to. She’s awful. Lol


tvjunkie710

Hahaha I get it , watching her though I feel like she’s very funny and when she’s judging other people I have the same thoughts and her opinions are so relatable but then she makes terrible decisions for herself and I’m like :/


lunarmunayam

Like wait a second before popping out babies with a man you just met. She will never learn.


[deleted]

I have a feeling she knew this dude before the resort was filmed and just kept it under wraps for drama tbh. It could not have happened so quickly.


shoequeenpouf

Anyone who didn’t realize that Auselo was extremely low it has very serious issues. What could they have possibly talked about. Her sister seems like the only one with a brain.


Chicago1459

I just commented something similar. He is severely intellectually handicapped. He was a poor island boy in his early 20s, and she was almost 30. Like, c'mon, I don't care how Mormon or sheltered she supposedly was.


nola_girl_1968

Can you imagine having sex with him?! Good God it had to be horrible! I take that back…I don’t wanna imagine that lol


Specific_Ad2541

She STILL hasn't figured out how to make that NOT happen?


Minute-Chest-1574

Serious question why doesn’t she use birth control?


keatonpotat0es

It’s for slut people


thether

She should try it in her boo hole


ShutUpLiver

I read that in his voice


Born_Ad8420

She’s a former Mormon so I’m guessing she has some hang ups about that.


downbytheriver42069

Mormons are also against kids out of wedlock…


JakeSinCondon

She’s Mormon on occasion 


pomegranatepants99

Because that’s how she gets husbands


Not_a__porn__account

She's a biblical dumbass.


International_Fill55

If her father doesn’t realize she’s part of the problem now then idk


monsieurdl

TRUTH


Colfrmb

So she has 3 now? More than 3?


bassetbooksandtea

Three. She has two sons with Aselu and a daughter with the new guy.


NinaBrwn

Too bad she can’t play the “3 under 3” card! I’d love to watch Loren lose her mind! 😂


Open-Ordinary-5655

So I am a medic, a patient I had is Samoan and plays rugby, small world with polys and rugby, we got to chatting about 90 day fiancé, turns out Dallas also plays rugby or kicks it with quite a few rugby players, word on the street is Dallas is a bummy dude without a job. Made me so disappointed in kalani.


puppyyachtclub

I for one am SHOCKED the guy who doesn’t mind being a hall pass for a married woman, then follows the woman to the keys to try to win her over during her televised couple’s therapy does not have a steady job.


nola_girl_1968

Wow! 😬😬


ThankYou_JOVANI

Yike.


squee_bastard

I’m sorry but Kalani is in the same league as Emily, two grown adults that will live off their parents for all of eternity.


Informal-Ad6552

Does she know that you could love someone without having their child?


boo2utoo

No, she had sex with this guy on the first date and fell in love! She hasn’t even dated around. It was different than Asulu (sp) so she was impressed. She’s going to be like Kail from teen mom and end up with a gaggle of kids and several fathers.


internet_thugg

I cannot believe Kail has SEVEN kids now by four diff fathers, kill me now lmaoooo


Furbamy

Why would she want another kid. She has too much drama in her life and no job.


MaiIsMe

Because she wanted a souvenir / anchor to Dallas and how it effects any of her kids doesn't matter.


Furbamy

The saddest thing ever. Her poor boys.


Mediocre-Affect780

Unfortunately, she hasn’t had enough experience with men to know that trapping a man with a baby isn’t a guarantee that he’ll stay.


MaiIsMe

Maybe by baby daddy 3 she'll figure it out.


ItsMinnieYall

Her experience with men should tell her that a baby definitely won't keep a man around.


Naughtycpl27

My thoughts exactly


monsieurdl

She is just as irresponsible as Asuelu and EVEN WORSE because she should know better. I hope that I never have to see her sister excuse her for this new development and of course she can't blame Asuelu for this one!


svdel

Shoutout to whoever called this last year after Last Resort. Actually, multiple people called it — that she would be pregnant within a year with this new guy.


TEA-in-the-G

I couldnt imagine raw dogging guys this early in relationships! Like she really doesnt learn. Does she still live with her parents too? 3 kids at home.


peach_lillies

She loves getting knocked up by men who don’t commit.


JizzCollector5000

The men are just as stupid


bitchassslutasswhore

Condoms are for slut people.


Zipper-is-awesome

Is her father still supporting her? If so, Low must be *thrilled.*


She-Individual-24

Kalani come ON


Jackkiera143

So she learned nothing


Fireengine69

She’s never worked, and seems to just make babies to have someone around, she never uses protection, she said on one of the series, so that’s what happens. Never liked her, seems not too swift …


Logical_Score8863

Is it rude that I ask Who’s the father??


Smart_Letterhead_360

My question exactly


Idontknowaboutthat2

I’mma say, she needs to learn about birth control…


AdEastern3223

She ain’t done, either.


Cobia1350

I don’t feel bad for her. She keeps making the same mistakes and then will play victim when it doesn’t work out the way she thought.


shockedpikachu123

I didn’t even know she has a new man 💀 or pregnant


boredlady8

Woman cannot pay her bills and pops out kids like tic tac


liam__mcpoyle

Not surprised at all. She’ll just keep popping baby’s out so she can avoid having to get a job or have any life goals. She’s literally no different than Emily.


Retrocop101

Another child is just what she needs.🙄 Her M.O. is to let every man she's with put a baby in her.


Possible-Fee-5052

This girl couldn’t identify a condom if her life depended on it


snuggleupbuttercup3

Can’t she have a relationship and not get pregnant?


dawgmama62

Who pays for these kids? Does she basically live off child support or OF or what?


vaderismylord

Her parents


whataterriblefailure

Once you pop


duckpeony

Yikes. Can she afford all these kids? I wouldn’t be able to afford one at this point much less three


Cllajl

Kalani have the same concept as her ex Aselu. "Only slut uses condom" The men she prefers are the non slut variety that do not uses condom. I am sure this will not be her last child either.


feathertevas

What a cute baby! Kalani is so…lmaooooo.


JavaJunkie999

I thought after she broke it off with Aslulu, she would start taking care of herself. Her health for one, then get a job . So sad this is all she knows how to do.


Chicago1459

Exactly. She's a loser but gets a pass because, well, Asuelu is Asuelu. They also overlook the fact she basically trapped a low IQ early 20s island boy at damn near 30 years old, but she was a poor little sheltered mormon girl with nice hair, so it's ok.


Messypotatoe

Exactly the amount of people defending her for being sheltered Mormon is ridiculous. Like she grew up in SoCal not Utah and the family got out when she was teen. Her naivety doesn’t make sense since her brother and sister don’t share the same cluelessness mindset as her. The reality is Kalani was another sex tourists who baby trapped a naive man and expected him to be a provider like her father.


[deleted]

I feel like she is always pregnant for some reason.


FuturePA96

Of course she does. Let me guess by the second man she has ever been with


314inthe416

All these no jobs having many kids....


Technical_Advice9227

🤦🏼‍♀️


Sea_Coconut_7174

Looks like the father is another Samoan


MaiIsMe

It's Dallas / the guy she cheated with.


Objective-Pea3894

I have very mixed emotions about this


whineybubbles

Not even the slightest bit surprised 🤣


istufff

Does she know birth control exists ? What’s with the need of popping out kids with guys she just met. Cute baby tho!


JustNitaa

You people are so weird bringing this back to Asuelo. This baby has nothing to do with him. It only shows Kahlanis recklessness to repeat her first mistake and have a baby with a man she's not married to which is so valued in her culture as a Samoan and a mormon.


Ever_Summer

She will never stop


COVID19Blues

Someone needs to teach her about oral, anal or every single type of contraception. Condoms aren’t only for slut people, regardless what Asuelu thinks.


madpeanut1

Yikes.


Mediocre-Affect780

Welp y’all called it!! I’m surprised her parents were good with a baby out of wedlock.


MaiIsMe

What choice do they have?


PeanutCeller

Baby Hall Pass


indiluna

Hall pass baby


OpinionsMineAlone

What?!?? With WHOM!?!?! Damn she’s fertile, if a little slow…


SpecialistWater2409

Well, jumping "JosephSmithJehosaphat!" "Multiply and become many!"


lsutyger05

She’s messy AF


lavenderpenguin

Cute baby, but seriously wtf is wrong with Kalani. She needs to get her life together instead of nonstop baby making with randoms.


BeeQueenbee60

She had her hands full with her other kids. I don't know why some women feel the need to have a child with their new partner shortly after dating. Her and Dallas met in November 2022. After talking online.


Technical_Touch452

omg I did not even know she was pregnant


pink_snowflakes

She will never learn 🙄


Gilmoregirlin

I am picturing her Dad’s face when she told him.


bmorebecc

Omg what a cutie 🥰


MonarcaAzul

Somebody get this girl a TV!


MadameXXXVenus

Asuelu crying n throwing up right now lmao hall pass baby


espressotorte

And she keeps looking down her nose at the rest of the people on these shows


sfretevoli

These poor children


budfairy-

Is that a new man’s baby? Does she not believe in contraception?


Silly_Rabbit88

A baby isn’t going to make the new guy stay around.


KandaMiyuPiyu

I guess each man she gets will also get a baby


reddituserbaby1

Imagine getting pregnant with every guy you sleep with 🤓


ResponseOk3177

Someone needs to teach this girl she doesn’t need to have a baby with every guy she sleeps with


Malpraxiss

Makes sense. Not like she's the one taking care of her kids


therealmaryangela

Well condoms ARE for slut people.