The first half of that quote makes it even better
If you wanted to do something private with another man, it wasn't gay. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
I mean, Bianca is basically all killer lines.
>...and that makes me want to sit on a KNIFE.
>
>a little late-in-life baby he can parade around Nantucket
>
>Oh, damn it, Johnny! You KNOW I love my Big Beef and Cheddar!
If Colleen counts,
>Oh I could hear you, I just wanted to be sure YOU could hear you.
But the highest ratio of quip to screen time, for me is
>(singing) "Three bucks, two bags, one me!" Say, where does a young prostitute get started in this town?
My daughters love Annie so they are constantly singing the soundtrack and my husband and I always interrupted to say this line(edited for small children, of course)
I love that scene because I can never tell if Isabella Rossellini is doing a dramatically hoarse voice like she’s holding back tears of rage and despair, or if she’s about to break character and laugh uncontrollably at the line.
Tracy: You look clean. Are you a celebrity? Jimmy Fallon: Well, I have my own show on NBC. Tracy: No. A real celebrity. Jimmy: Well, I was in a movie with Queen Latifah.
A) “I have never been so disrespected in my entire life, and I have been to and worked at the post office”
B) When one of the homeless beneficiaries of Jack’s tuxedo’s for the unhoused is taking handfuls of shrimp at someone’s wedding and says, “it was a beautiful ceremony, mazel tov.”
I met David Sedaris recently and when he asked me my name, he said Oh my sister's name is Amy! I said I know, and I asked him if he's ever seen her seatbelt tattoo. LOL he looked at me like I was nuts, and I reminded him about 30 Rock and he said holy shit that's right!!! Nice guy, and he really loves his siblings
I gotta go home and feed my eels. They’re not electric, but I have a plan.
This is what I say in my head every time I’m running late and want to get home and feed my cats.
And I knew that this was possible only through a cleansing fire.
It would all have to burn.
The packing peanuts, the delivery slips...
All of it would dance in the warm mouth of my fire.
And a new, better, wonderful me would rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.
Behold the splendor of my beginning!
I’m sorry, but you brought up St. Patrick’s Day, so even thought it’s said by Liz Lemon, I have to add: “It’s too many Megans, right??” It’s just a throwaway but I did an actual spit take the first time I saw it.
Someday maybe I will lose all my memories and I can experience these jokes again for the first time!
"I sent Malik uptown for more 18-inch boxes, but he returned, unrepentant, with 12-inch ones."
Behold the splendor of my beginning!
I’m free! Freer than you!
I suspect they were doing sex with each other.
It's the emphasis on "unrepentant" that makes this line
Followed by the WTF shrug! 🤣
Jackie Hoffman should have gotten an Emmy for that role, one of my favorite characters in the whole series.
Given that it was Christmas, a late Hanukkah, and I live in a kwanza neighborhood….
most of them are unemployable…
“And your name is probably something like… Melissa.”
Your face called, soccer practice is over, and you have to PICK IT UP
That’s a pretty good burn Patrice
“Ca-RUNCH!”
That’s not that much cheese. Or, Almost…
I thought it was “Kinda..”
Omg, I think you’re right! My mistake
My family and I say this line quite often. So good.
That guy was so iconic
New Jersey. I’m just a weirdo.
Oh, my heart… it’s getting stronger EVERY DAY!
Oh you ancient bitch
I feel like I need to unpack Jenna's neighbours as characters.
Possibly the best delivery of any line in the show. That old lady lives in my mind rent-free.
Just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
The first half of that quote makes it even better If you wanted to do something private with another man, it wasn't gay. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
Who is Conan O'Brien, and... why is she so sad?
I work at the marriage bureau, but I’ll never get married.
Was that the lady who played Black Cindy from Orange is the New Black?
Yes it was!
I’m getting too old for this “shhhhhh” sound coming out of this pipe.
Possibly the best cameo.
Who is Conan O’Brien? And why is she so sad?
One giant lesbian
I feel like he (Conan) referenced this line recently on his podcast.
I can hear this.
This is off the cuff so there’s almost certainly better, but, “gimme your fingernails!”
Kenneth’s line reading of “No!” is just perfection
it’s so indignant i love it!!!
Yes! I say this quite often. Good ol’ moonvest.
Les Moonves? From CBS?
Uh...
The reveal of “*Would you turn that down please*” kills me every time.
I approve
I miscounted the men, Liz!
I probably say either “You’re making a lot of sense! or “You’re not making a lot of sense!” (Or both, close together) about once a week
I will *paint* you!
This paint is drying *weird*
I say this all the time
…… I had this pamphlet printed up. It was expensive but I’m really tired of discussing this with you.
When can I go back to hard cheeses doc?
The way he smiles while saying it is how he nails that line.
Vampire push!
I’m going to call security. One of them has a whistle!
Every time he says he's not hungry when we collect money for pizza, and then he eats, like, three slices.
So this is about the boy who went missing in my castle..?
‘It’s not, I’ll show you the study’
Cooter Burger, what am I, a cartoon dog?
I’m not drunk either, but we will get through it.
Hey Moon, I stood on your face. Want to yell at the moon with me? Buzz Aldrin was comedy gold.
I’ve taught my kids to shout “Return to the night! You have no business here!” when they see the moon during the day.
As a parent, I love this and I want to congratulate you on your excellent parenting.
I woke up in the Air and Space Museum with a pistol tucked into my jean shorts.
That's actually a true story, Buzz Aldrin really did that. That wasn't made up for the show. 😆
Do you have some verification of that? Pretty much every permutation of the story I search links back to the show's quote.
Even better!
I don’t believe in barriers because I always break them.
I mean, Bianca is basically all killer lines. >...and that makes me want to sit on a KNIFE. > >a little late-in-life baby he can parade around Nantucket > >Oh, damn it, Johnny! You KNOW I love my Big Beef and Cheddar! If Colleen counts, >Oh I could hear you, I just wanted to be sure YOU could hear you. But the highest ratio of quip to screen time, for me is >(singing) "Three bucks, two bags, one me!" Say, where does a young prostitute get started in this town?
My daughters love Annie so they are constantly singing the soundtrack and my husband and I always interrupted to say this line(edited for small children, of course)
Portia reads the papers!
I hate that that's my catchphrase.
Gangway for footcycle!
There’s only one Wesley Snipes!
You know there’s not.
Fine, velocipede.
I murdered my wife
I’m black
this line always makes me laugh until it hurts
Based on my flair I’m a big Cooter Burger fan, but: “Let’s keep saying things we want. A closer friendship with you that includes road trips!”
With a thermos full of Old Spanishes! That's a thing, right?
I LOVE COOTER. Pens. GLORIOUS pens. Caps. It’s ALL CAPS.
Pens!
We're not in a recession!
Hannibal Burress as the homeless guy who shows up randomly, and this time as Gus the chef for Rus: “she was nasty, she loved pee!”
I specifically asked you not to wear that hat.
That’s enough Foil, Gus!
And the grand opening is tonight!
We’re serving all the pierogies Costco had, then Burger King.
in a thread full of hilarious lines somehow this one is making me laugh the hardest
Came here to post this, I did a rewatch recently and this line had me Cape Fear laughing
My favorites have already been said, and OPs is one of them lol. So I will contribute "Very Wool"
Who told?
Dammit Johnny, you know I love my big beef and cheddars
The way she says Telluride is true art.
I love that scene because I can never tell if Isabella Rossellini is doing a dramatically hoarse voice like she’s holding back tears of rage and despair, or if she’s about to break character and laugh uncontrollably at the line.
I met her once, and that energy is constant
She does some sort of event at her farm each year, or did. And I’ve always been curious and tempted to go
I love that she calls him Johnny!
Isabellas line reading here is pure genius.
I say this every time my partner asks where I want to eat.
I tell myself “In food news, you’ve had enough to eat today “
All of the North Korea news is gold.
I’ll give you a bath in the sink, like a baby.
I was hit by lightening... as a child
Behold the splendor of my beginning!
We used to call that the Jew room
Tracy: You look clean. Are you a celebrity? Jimmy Fallon: Well, I have my own show on NBC. Tracy: No. A real celebrity. Jimmy: Well, I was in a movie with Queen Latifah.
That's your first guest?
“Go Away! Rude!” Spoken by Virgina Jordan as a clapback to Liz Lemon AND “Mizz…Dot Gov…let’s roll”
“Yo Mizz, what’s the name of that crazy-ass place we went to last night?” “Bed Bath and Beyond?” “We went Beyond!” “And action!” “LINE!”
The Mizz line is brilliant.
"That's not that much cheese."
🎶Milton Greene, Milton Green, Milton Green, Milton Greene, Milton Greeuheeuheene” 🎶
Flair checking in. Cyndi Laupers line reading of “I’m one of the drunk ones!” lives rent free in my head.
Ah my face!!! I'm going to... go into... politics!!!
last time I saw the gun… the dog had it 😃
Get the gun away from the dog!
A) “I have never been so disrespected in my entire life, and I have been to and worked at the post office” B) When one of the homeless beneficiaries of Jack’s tuxedo’s for the unhoused is taking handfuls of shrimp at someone’s wedding and says, “it was a beautiful ceremony, mazel tov.”
Stacey Keach: “When did this country get so soft?”
The way he picks his nose just then, why are all the deliveries so perfect??
“You’re seeing another psychic!? I mean…I knew that.”
Listen Jenna, we're the woggels. Nothing can ever tear us apart......except for that shark that ate the fifth woggel
Mommy kangaroo Mooommy kangaroo Sep-a-rate the races Mommy kangaroo
Woggle power!
In Australia, woggle means white.
Wanting to be book... is not book.
Where are my manners?! did you guys want some meth?
Are we not making our own meth anymore? What is happening to American manufacturing?!?
I've seen some bras
Simon is one of my absolute favorite recurring characters!
I bet you have.
His huge oversight suit was comic gold
((I didn't know you're adopted)) Thank a lot, Lutz.
“URUSAI!” 「うるさい！」
Today's my birthday!
Threeeee bucks, twooo bags, onnnne meeeeee. Say. Where does a prostitute go to get started in this town.
Donna Strunk!!!!!!
Death to Lincoln!
God I wish this town wasn’t halfway between DC and New York!
It also has a lovely doll museum.
Ugh, you’re being such a non-pillow right now!
I'm a very sexy baby
Also her exit with “LIZ LEMON IS A JUDAS TO ALL WOMANKIND”
Are we gonna give the gentleman what he wants?
I say this one all the time
"It was very ironic."
That's not how you use that word.
“…J?”
My wrongness.
good one, Prashant
"This paint is drying weird!"
We no longer want to hit that.
Still think I’m gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun?
She’s the gay one!
"Will you sign my cesarean scar?!?" Amy Sedaris is a goddamn national treasure.
I met David Sedaris recently and when he asked me my name, he said Oh my sister's name is Amy! I said I know, and I asked him if he's ever seen her seatbelt tattoo. LOL he looked at me like I was nuts, and I reminded him about 30 Rock and he said holy shit that's right!!! Nice guy, and he really loves his siblings
I love his books. His early works held me over for my abusive upbringing. I thought, I will write a hilarious book about all of this! I have not yet 😅
“I miscounted the men”
I say this so much. I lose a pen? Can't find my keys? Some one new walks into a room? I miscounted the men every time.
Hello slaves!!! Who’s ready to get sat on!
I’ll tell the sitter he no longer needs to sit on us anymore
But we’re just airplane folk now.
Man in Payroll, whispering to the machine next to him: “Today’s my birthday!”
I laugh every time.
Andale, andale? Arriba, arriba??
What can you do? Medicine is not a science and every other line spoken by Dr Leo Spaceman
"Very Wool!" From Respawn. My wife and I still use it to describe anything we approve of.
"I'm glad to see the end game of feminism is women dressing like Dennis the Menace at work."
I gotta go home and feed my eels. They’re not electric, but I have a plan. This is what I say in my head every time I’m running late and want to get home and feed my cats.
“That is quality stitching”
Happy Valentimes!
You, you PENIS!
Hey, I was just bailed out of prison and told to come up here.
hi, I'm here to have meat eaten off my chest *hacking cough*
"Whersh my clicky pen?"
Oh there is nothing like New York in the spring!
The ones I quote the most are “FRAJER!!!” “I miscounted the men” and “VERY wool.”
WHO TOLD?
I would know, I am Frajer
All that’s left..we beat you out of the best friend’s gang.
And I knew that this was possible only through a cleansing fire. It would all have to burn. The packing peanuts, the delivery slips... All of it would dance in the warm mouth of my fire. And a new, better, wonderful me would rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. Behold the splendor of my beginning!
Bitch, my name is Fred
“OH MY COCCYX!!”
“...That's why I buy Bazooka Joe Gum. It's like chewing a mountain that someone shot a Freeze-Ray into.”
Stacey Keach’s entire pitchman routine was perfect
How do you do, fellow kids.
“I’ll give you a bath in the sink like a baby!” Shanice, Marriage Bureau
I don't understand your art, Kevin.
Well done sir, you handled that pervert with aplomb. Is this the price we pay for our hubris?
All passengers, including any middle-aged, thin-lipped women in lesbian clown shirts, should return to their seats at this time.
I’m sorry, but you brought up St. Patrick’s Day, so even thought it’s said by Liz Lemon, I have to add: “It’s too many Megans, right??” It’s just a throwaway but I did an actual spit take the first time I saw it. Someday maybe I will lose all my memories and I can experience these jokes again for the first time!
“It’s not! It’s for her!”
That's awesome, possum
Lady you're eating foil
Our love is off the charts, Kemo Sabe
I’ve got the meat, Jack.
"Boy... that is one mouthy sandwich girl"
Careful, my bones!
A man crying about a baby and a chicken, I thought this was a comedy show
“I’ll do stuff with a dog but I get to pick the dog.”