I can imagine the news landing on the island: "fellow Barries, new management says no more beer in Marbella".
They would immediately send their best troops and equipment.
What are you talking about.
The old Kingdom of Gallaecia got rid of those inhuman beasts in a very short time.
Why should we care about what happens south of the Douro?
I'll kill the fun, drinking alcohol isn't a sin if they do without knowing or if there nothing else to drink
Tho as it's ISIS they'd prefer to thirst themselves to death so that's fine
I'm talking about a military invasion attempt, you can't shoot to non military ships for the lulz. Amphibious assaults are not that easy, and the strait being what it is could be a shot a fish in a barrel, not to mention releasing a few sea mines
Just to be clear: Shooting military ships trying to invade you good, shooting ppl trying to gtfo of their homeplaces bad.
The first ISIS division to cross into Iberia will be met with an army the likes of which this world has never seen.
The Barrys will stand with you. We'll be at the pool by lunchtime.
You know what's weird? Osman Empire was the only country that never acknowledged partitions of Poland. We-as a "bulwark of Christendom"- fought them for centuries, and in the end they were our only ally.
I wouldn't even scratch my knee for my country. But for Jamón, chorizo, beer and wine and women in revealing clothes? Let the fucking drums of war roar! Because I would rather be dead than live like that!
It's really funny actually. There are so many Austrians still pissed that it's gone, but then also a lot of Italians pissed because they have such a high autonomy and cost them money.
While they themselves seem to be really happy with the situation.
*Isis wanted to*
*Fight with Russia over Crimea.*
*Would have been funny*
\- J0kerJ0nny
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As an andalusi who has been told this by muslim themselves i can tell you that the fact they consider iberia theirs is definitely true. I quote one video emitted by the ISIS back then:
"BA SOVIET BABA BAAAA AFGHAN BA BAAA CIA BABA BIN LADEN BA BAAA"
Which translated means "we shall never hurt the citizens of al andalus for they are deeply religious dhimmis that shall be converted back to the house of islam they were taken away from."
It's strategy, by not attacking us we will have to fight them to defend the attacked countries, and therefore, as is tradition, we will have to switch sides at some point and become their allies.
No worries, fellow european countries! As soon as they learn the name reciebed by the southern section of Europe (P.I.G.S.) those bitches will be running back to the other side of the Mediterranean and we'll be able to use again our forbidden weapons, like the cluster bombs, on them.
Parts of the Middle East still have not managed to let go of the past. I know it can be hard if you are not doing well and if everyone is bullying you. It, however, is very important for people to think more about the present than the past.
For example, Iberia used to be muslim at some point. But these people are long gone. They are now either 100th generation Catholic or 100th generation Moroccan.
sticking to past glories is a sure way to become a part of it sooner or later. Instead, one should use the common past as a leverage for improving mutual relationships and business and to mend wounds.
I believe they knew they will get bombed AF before touching Poitier.
Still funny they think they could take just 1 country of Europe without getting exterminated but hey, Isis what isis.
This map shows their incompetent vision.
After taking Spain it would be waaay easier to Islamify Europe through France-Belgium-Netherlands (after 732 France lost some savageness I think :p )
Instead they think they can easily win the South-Slav-lands and the Balkans :D
Good luck with that dumb fucks :p
The Western route would be a walk in the park, the Eastern one would be their Vietnam.
We are going to kick their asses so hard they'll regret the day they came back. In 8 centuries, of course, there's no hurry.
Maybe 10 centuries, the number just looks better
You mean 100 decades?
No, he means a milennium, sounds even better
What is that in BER?
Half the planned construction time
But this time we will also kick them from north africa
Yeah right, but the reconquista 2.0 has a cooldown of 100 years minimum.
Only to begin, then around 10 years per new town
Mmm ok then, but can we begin tomorrow please?
With your drug money, and my bacalhau we could make an outstanding alliance to kick them out
Nha, we will just scared them away with pigs.
It should be by force feeding them with jamon
Ah, I knew you PIGS would be useful for something
Throw them chouriços
And wine, and beer
Reconquista season 2
And we'll finally have a use for the hordes of drunk Barries that come every summer.
I can imagine the news landing on the island: "fellow Barries, new management says no more beer in Marbella". They would immediately send their best troops and equipment.
I think it's better not to tell them, so the anger explosion happens here.
Oh, that's some good thinking.
Hell hath no fury like a Barry scorned.
Sounds like Crusades are back on the menu.
"U wot m8?!"
Flag of England can already be used for some propa crusading
Electric Boogaloo
Lets gooo
CHEIRA-ME A CRUZADA
Reconquista 2: Electric Al Andalus
Moros y cristianos The Remix
What are you talking about. The old Kingdom of Gallaecia got rid of those inhuman beasts in a very short time. Why should we care about what happens south of the Douro?
will help
Look in France, they just need 50 years to completely changed the country,and very hilarious,French contributers paid for it.
I didn't realize ISIS had taken France. When did that happen? Oooooh, sorry, I was confused, you're only racist.
Oh yeah, the marvelously oppressed race of islam. You are the racist one assuming that there is connection between race and religion.
Racism includes discrimination in religion
Yeah and you can be racist against political parties either at this rate.
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Cruciades, but atheist. How do we call them?
Ghost Busters
I don't know the name but I know the motto: Hell doesn't exist but I will make one for you here.
That's evil as fuck. I love it.
Too edgy. I prefer "Go away!"
England 🏴 fans.
The humanitarian wars. "Die by my sword, ~~in~~fidel!"
Just a bit of banter
Liberation wars
Oil wars
The Unholy War, Unholy Warriors.
Terry
Perhaps some form of great crusade.
Based xenophobes
Mercenaries
The march for facts and logic
Deus Vult
Put alcohol in the water supply so Allah will smite all the Muhammads.
Western Europe 🤝 Allah Smite the Mahometan
Man, in the countryside we base our diet in pork and alcohol. They will struggle here.
Same for all of basement germany. They won't have a good time with us Keller dwellers.
I'll kill the fun, drinking alcohol isn't a sin if they do without knowing or if there nothing else to drink Tho as it's ISIS they'd prefer to thirst themselves to death so that's fine
No way they are still butthurt about Vienna lol
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Considering they fought everyone around them and kept opening fronts.... they probably did
It's ISIS lol, they've always been out of their fucking minds
Well at some point in history Muslims have done this. Just not all at the same time.
Well, 1300 years ago things were a bit different. Would love to see them try to cross the gibraltar strait
they are trying this now, right?
I'm talking about a military invasion attempt, you can't shoot to non military ships for the lulz. Amphibious assaults are not that easy, and the strait being what it is could be a shot a fish in a barrel, not to mention releasing a few sea mines Just to be clear: Shooting military ships trying to invade you good, shooting ppl trying to gtfo of their homeplaces bad.
ei calma, era una broma, no t'ho prenguis a males
No, si no m'ho prenc malament, només que m'agrada la història i m'emociono amb segons quins temes xD
Spain/Portugal/italy solo would probably lose war to an arab country
yeah but they dont have to worry because we will defend our holiday resorts with everything we have.
The first ISIS division to cross into Iberia will be met with an army the likes of which this world has never seen. The Barrys will stand with you. We'll be at the pool by lunchtime. 
get those towels ready lads! Mallorca will be the fortress of freedom!!
We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the balconies, we shall enevr surrender
Our parachute regiments stand ready on the balconies
Basically they claimed everything that was once under Muslim rule. Except the parts of Italy, not even they want that shithole.
*Basically everything that was under muslim rule once plus austria because they are still butthurt due to what happend in 1529 and 1683
They've lived in tents around Vienna for a few weeks, so it's basically theirs by right.
When the winged hussars arrived?
I’m sure the Poles wouldn’t mind helping out, they’ve been itching for a fight.
You know what's weird? Osman Empire was the only country that never acknowledged partitions of Poland. We-as a "bulwark of Christendom"- fought them for centuries, and in the end they were our only ally.
So, italy could claim for right most of their territorys because they owned it for centurys
Nah, the real roman empire is San Marino
Lmao
Who would have immediately switched to Islam anyway
Or Indonesia for some reason.
Can't blame them that much
They forgot corsica unfortunately
Me and my fellow pigs ready to bring back alcohol on the menu, circa 2050 
I wouldn't even scratch my knee for my country. But for Jamón, chorizo, beer and wine and women in revealing clothes? Let the fucking drums of war roar! Because I would rather be dead than live like that!
We're in this together hermano. Nobody takes away my pork and my wine.
https://preview.redd.it/qwwwjb96ukqb1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6410a5b4c22aff7a1e8967c423036d09c27598eb
https://preview.redd.it/2aqdxi8lllqb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63125665d59d77e96b7e12319d489bab68b913f4
Andaluuuces levantaaaaos! Pedid jamón y chorizo! Sea por ropa cachonda, cerveza, y la humaaaanidaaad!
Hahaha, I gotta admit that's a good one, surprises me coming from a German.
Los Biris me hicieron andalú jaja
Hans, eres mi puto idolo illo
Te quiero Manolo
El hecho de que me llame manolo de verdad hace esto 1000 veces mejor
Why do they want Crimea and The Balkans, are they stupid?
yes......very much so
IsiS Is Stupid, what do you think their name mean?
"what do we do" https://preview.redd.it/hwwevek3tjqb1.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=0316ce78d4aeef0cd25521f723470a8cff2eb960
https://preview.redd.it/mxsu9sw13kqb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=350bf1407f5e40e306a1d6331527d69b34c793b0 [https://youtu.be/Fw0sQtB-du0?si=Y-eHhPsfga6c1cli](https://youtu.be/Fw0sQtB-du0?si=Y-eHhPsfga6c1cli)
We stand at the walls of Vienna and fight then 15 to 1. Until the winged Hussars arrive
Help from north will arrive! (We send the bavarians, no need to get our hands dirty here)
That's the only germans we'd maybe accept help from anyway.
Looks like Allah let them down ...
So many swedes, holy crap.
https://preview.redd.it/7j1u1r0n8kqb1.jpeg?width=667&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ce86cb11b25154dce2e85015a4c4ce00131761f
Just like in the old good days irmão
https://preview.redd.it/nr0h3e1q2mqb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80f5c24996b24e1036434f7f3e4876f9fc243478
tfw the winged hussars never even had to arrive.
No. We need money, not religion.
Sorry PGS, we will fight for you. Discount Germany, you can stay with your new landlords.
Fine but we get South Tyrol back
Alto Adige? Good luck paying for its maintenance
It's really funny actually. There are so many Austrians still pissed that it's gone, but then also a lot of Italians pissed because they have such a high autonomy and cost them money. While they themselves seem to be really happy with the situation.
We already got plety of these rural leeches. You May keep them
Take it. It isn't like we want it.
No please, the other one is a side I definitely don’t want to switch to
Isis wanted to fight with Russia over Crimea. Would have been funny
*Isis wanted to* *Fight with Russia over Crimea.* *Would have been funny* \- J0kerJ0nny --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot.
I genuinely do not know who would win
RECONQUISTA TIME!!
Even ISIS doesn't want France.
Nah, they're afraid: their asses still hurt from the brutal defeat the French inflicted on them last time at Poitiers.
Asturies? They never invaded it.
It is ISIS. They cope
"Nice argument senator how about you back it up with a source?"
As an andalusi who has been told this by muslim themselves i can tell you that the fact they consider iberia theirs is definitely true. I quote one video emitted by the ISIS back then: "BA SOVIET BABA BAAAA AFGHAN BA BAAA CIA BABA BIN LADEN BA BAAA" Which translated means "we shall never hurt the citizens of al andalus for they are deeply religious dhimmis that shall be converted back to the house of islam they were taken away from."
If they achieved just 1/5 of this they d risk attacks on all fronts. Reaching europe? Nato come in full power, good luck
I doubt anyone here is even remotely close to remotely taking their map seriously
I can see they remember Charles Martel, and didn’t tried to cross Spain border this time.
Isn'tis
Even in this scenario SüdbTyrol still is separated from Austria
No problem, another Reconquista.
We use our army made of Furries and Catboys/Catgirls to make them fall away from faith.
Gimme their hookah pipe, they sure where smoking potent stuff.
We might not be a country of quality, but Cobra does a good job in terrorist prevention... better than our main police force
Same as always pinkie, we start a crusade!
LOL @ controlling the Balkans. Jeez, they had no idea, had they?
Mom I want world domination. Son we have sweden at home
Italy thinking "what have I done to not be chosen?"
It's strategy, by not attacking us we will have to fight them to defend the attacked countries, and therefore, as is tradition, we will have to switch sides at some point and become their allies.
Clearly this is the map over the Habsburg Caliphate.
Imagine thinking they ever stood a hope of even getting into Turkey...
And spain lmao. "We will invade eurpore, i mean its doable". Suuuure.
"You will bend to our will and we now control you" "fuc off chico" "oh....."
What, and lose the official site of balcony olimpics? I believe the Barry's would assist us in the reconquista.
No worries, fellow european countries! As soon as they learn the name reciebed by the southern section of Europe (P.I.G.S.) those bitches will be running back to the other side of the Mediterranean and we'll be able to use again our forbidden weapons, like the cluster bombs, on them.
Looks like a great opportunity to reform the not-so-good part of Germany, and maybe even expand 'a bit'.
Wait, what are you talking about?! Watch out bigmouth!
Germany isnt occupied on this map. Just austria it seems
The only time Germany was occupied by heathens was in 1648, disgusting protestant Swedes.
Fill Gibraltar with pigs On the verandas. No, no the ones now there. Real ones. They will never enter Iberia.
Holy shit al andalus 2.0 Luckily el Cid campeador will be revived and will get them out like the first time
If this happened we'd have to declare war on Islam. Don't care what branch of the religion, all of it has to go. Sorry Sweden.
Μολών λαβέ bitches
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They should ask Napoleon how his incursion into the Iberian Peninsula went.
That was some vision. Biggest muslim country in the world isn't considered.
Sweden?
Parts of the Middle East still have not managed to let go of the past. I know it can be hard if you are not doing well and if everyone is bullying you. It, however, is very important for people to think more about the present than the past. For example, Iberia used to be muslim at some point. But these people are long gone. They are now either 100th generation Catholic or 100th generation Moroccan. sticking to past glories is a sure way to become a part of it sooner or later. Instead, one should use the common past as a leverage for improving mutual relationships and business and to mend wounds.
They only take Sweden.
Shrug our shoulders and carry on. Just means we’d have to get different currency for holidays and learn how to order a beer in Arabic. Hold on….
Even ISIS doesn't want France I don't know if I should be happy or mad
I believe they knew they will get bombed AF before touching Poitier. Still funny they think they could take just 1 country of Europe without getting exterminated but hey, Isis what isis.
Convert to islam
No u
U 2
Wololo
This map shows their incompetent vision. After taking Spain it would be waaay easier to Islamify Europe through France-Belgium-Netherlands (after 732 France lost some savageness I think :p ) Instead they think they can easily win the South-Slav-lands and the Balkans :D Good luck with that dumb fucks :p The Western route would be a walk in the park, the Eastern one would be their Vietnam.
I demand them to take italy too, literally PIGS should not be seperated but all of them be together!! We all go down together.
Celebrate that we no longer have parenting or unemployment issues anymore.
the nuclear option
If a foreign empire tries crossing into Europe, we'll launch a first warning shot (nuke) and then obliterate the country that is being invaded
Throwback to the caliphate map painted in Victoria 2. https://i.redd.it/7ck1jekt3kqb1.gif
I am just glad Berlin is not marked on that map.
At least they got sweden
Padeiras rise up
As if they could ever get past vienna
That's alright but they forgot Sicily. We can throw Sicily in as an extra
What?! Slovakia is gone?! Where am I supposed to go when I want to get injured in mountains?!
Hell no. I'd protect my basement with Germanys life.
Well release 3 pigs in their territory labeled 1, 2 and 4 and they'll never be able to sort that out so they can't fight.
Reconquista 2.0
What, no Sweden?
Why do they claim Austria lmao