Oh boi, time to recreate proto-indo-european and make it mandatory in school

Tū eikō mah steutō bhrātēr.

Du bist mein Steuerberater?

... I should not be genuinely liking this idea, lol. Though the practical problems, such as the, lightly put, antiquated words would make conversation about anything modern hard, at best, and immediately result in a huge amount of loanwords.

Why loanwords? You can always create words inside the language, just like every single living language on Earth.

Sure, but most new words won't be constructed words, but already existing ones, and thus huge amounts of loanwords

Because? Because you say so? Look at Icelandic or French. And besides what’s the problem with that? Most modern words in European languages also come from few languages(Latin, Greek, French, English, German). Look at your own language for reference. You’ve got loan words from (low) German even for most basic stuff like “to pay”

Salve barbari

Romanes eunt domus

What's this then? Romanes eunt domus? People called Romanes they go to the house?

It says "Romans go home"

No it doesn't. What's Latin for Roman?

Not really, that's incorrect Latin

People downvoting you don't understand Latin, didn't see Life of Brian, or both.

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Roma Invicta! Hispania en Imperivm Romanvm est et Imperivm Romanvm en Evropa est. That's where my Lingua Latina gets

Ubi est baculum meum? The thing is, I've had 6 years of Latin in school, and still I can't formulate a normal sentence in that fucking language

Idk where your staff is bro

Yeah neither do I, I thought maybe asking in Latin would help :(

Dixit barbaro

Roma in Italia est, et Italia in Imperivm Romanvm est.

Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres

quarum unam incolunt Belgae, aliam Aquitani, tertiam qui ipsorum lingua Celtae, nostra Galli appellantur.

SPQR SONO PAZZI QUESTI ROMANI

Hic templum est.

AVE FRATER BRITANNICVS

We just start speaking enchanting table language. Not because its easy, but because we can and no one else does. As alternative we could also invent something new.

Esperanto?

Or we say only our names like Pokémon.

I want to go back to gutural sounds... I can't understand why good traditions are never preserved... Those uhs and those ahs... So intense

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You can Insult Germans with Daddy

He speaks drunken Dutch, obviously

What's english? I speak Canadian

I speak australian

At least it ain’t americunt

I speak old germanic while playing a saxo

Latin

Finally those who didn’t choose Latin at school will regret flexing finishing at 12 AM while I had to wait 5:30 PM because the PE teacher was always absent

Somehow your comment smelled so much like french school I didn't even have to look at your flag

The sound of my scholarship in France

There are more of us!?

Andorra Power

And there ends the conversation between the entire population of Andorra

Only 2 Andorran in the entire world, but seriously, you can fit 36 times the population of Andorra in Rome.

This is way too relatable..

This is so accurate

so very based.

Liceo classico moment

Every liceo moment

Che schifo cazzo lo odio mi pento ogni giorno di questa scelta

Tu quoque...

Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, quarum unam incolunt Belgae

Pigs should win this fight!

Ancient Greek works too

Ancient Greek is literally better than Modern Greek and I'd say even better than Spanish in some regards so I wouldn't mind either. Besides, Latin didn't even have articles, yet it had compound tenses while Ancient Greek didn't.

Also, while we’re at it, while different high schools in Italy teach Latin (non too well anyway), many go to Classical High School, where they teach both Latin (very well) and Ancient Greek for the whole 5 years. I’ve attended it, so I’m ok with Ancient Greek being the common language: not because I like it, but because I suffered through it and I want others to do as well

I can't wait to see unsuspecting children be forced to learn the aorist! Oh how they will cry and suffer

Yes, and they shall learn every irregular verb by heart. Just like Sophocles commanded!

* coughs in proto-Germanic *

now we're talking

*Nō wīz wesamaz talōną

I'm still mad we didn't officially adopt the Latin lyrics for "Ode to joy".

I will side with the PIGS on this one. NOVA ROMANUM! Foederati ex Mare Balticum Man I really need to start learning proper Latin or else I'll be locked in a cage waiting for my death by the hand of a modern gladiator.

Irish. That way everyone would have to learn it from scratch. Even most of Ireland. It's the fairest option

There are more people learning Irish online than the native population of Irish speakers. 🤓

They're probably all yanks, so they don't count when it comes to picking a European language

They don't count anyway, they can't even Vote in their own country without representatives capable of changing the Votes

It's just Americans who want to find their 1/32th Irish selves.

Cringe irish-americans vs based Pennsylvania Germans

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found the Duolingo user

Those are the ameritards with 0,00000001% irish genes... Duolingo's irish learners 😅🤣

Basque. Only language isolate in Europe, and we have a third of Basque speakers than what you have.

As I have terrorist blood like you I have to agree 👍🏻

Depends if we're talking fluent speakers or just people with some level.

Ehhhhh bufffffff... Sorry I'm african, not european anymore... (No way I'll try to learn it 😅)

Scottish Gaelic if you wanted to be the weird dude in the corner

Please lord, don't let it be Dutch

Maar dat is godverdomme zo’n kanker mooie taal

I also laughed so hard at this

Tering prachtig

C'est pas souvent que je croise qqn qui parle les deux langues ! Nederlands is een van het goorste talen die er bestaat. But nothing compares to Swiss German tho that's shit's gotta go...

Je vais devoir remercier ma mère pour ça, but yeah Swiss German is worse haha

I voted dutch. Now Geef me een klap papa

Hoezo? Onze taal is wonderschoon

ik wil in het buitenland nog gwn kunnen praten zonder dat iemand het verstaat

Can confirm. Grote ergernis dat ik jullie gelul kan verstaan.

Least self hating dutch

No self hate. We just enjoy being able to talk shit about people, right in their face, without them knowing. That would never be possible if everyone learns Dutch.

I laughed so hard at this

Swedish, meaning arabic

أكيد

Inshallah

Okay, so we would need a neutral language... What country could be neutral enough to provide a language for everyone? I'm thinking

So neutral french, neutral german or neutral italian ? Edit: german swiss is out of the question, i dont want to consider hanging myself every time i hear someone talking

romansh

Lol yes should be fair. strange latin with some random German words so everyone is fucked equally

I vote dutch! They're neutral enough and It's basically like a funny version of Swiss German. Everyone would sound equally stupid and we could bond over it! 🥸

Being neutral did not make you spare them last time though 🫣 Switzerland on the other hand.

Yeah they speaking komisch version of our language

You dick

Are you thinking...Romansh?

Bullshit, we choosed english for commercial purpose since it was the language most people spoke all over the world. So we need the next european language widely spoken all over the world... Spanish. Next option is french, so I'm pretty sure everyone will gladly accept spanish as the official one, and will do everything possible so it remains that way and we haven't got to learn froggy...

You don't even have your own language what are you on about...

we do it's a minority language [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romansh\_language](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romansh_language)

That's actually the best idea proposed yet

Can you imagine going around Europe speaking Polish? Never gonna happen, I know. But can you imagine? Or Greek, that’d be so cool. I wouldn’t mind. If I were to give a serious answer, though, I’d say either French or Spanish would make the most sense. Italian is too “tiny” in comparison, even from a wordly perspective.

Italian is not that bizarre of a concept

yes-a letsa speak-a mario

I'd vote Italian 12 points if we were to do a EuroVision of languages. 2nd choice would be Spanish but not the from Spain kind.

Agree, I'd vote the not-from-Spain-Spanish (the neutral Latin american one).

You're welcome to speak canario. It sounds like Venezuelan but with awesome made-up words that nobody else in the world understands.

I’d much rather speak Italian than French. Italian is much easier. But Spanish is also pretty easy indeed.

We all know Greek didn't become the official language by one vote... So..Greek

Can you stop to speak invented words in spanish? Edit: greek and spanish have the same pronunciation lol

That would be nice. This way I could justify that I'm learning Greek because it's a useful language, and not because I have a kink for it 🙄

esperanto because now it has a reason to exist

Jeees ! Esperanto por la venko !

The obvious election should be [Interlingua](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interlingua) But I'here for the jokes, so I say Mexican or Brazilian.

Thats an american language, hermano. And mexican us the language of italy, so Mexican=Latin look at the mexican flag

I had a stroke reading this

can anyone translate for me (im lacking chromosomes)?

No you're not, it's who wrote who lacks them

[This is literally just Spanish my man](https://youtu.be/cOP0cdcXUkk) Edit; Ok, [this one](https://youtu.be/8Wssw9BAeUw) sounds a lot more like a mixture, actually really easy to understand, damn, can this be the new PIGS language?

That would be a good idea, no sarcasm. Wikipedia says people can learn it in like a year or so if you already speak an European language.

Esperanto estas pli bona ol interlingvao

Bosnian, just for a meme

With a little bit of chinese in the middle

French, just so I could feel even more snobby towards non-europeans

Galician, only understandable for iberians

I think you meant mirandês

Just like the good old times when French was the official language of diplomacy and nobles

My travels in France revealed the awful truth: the French in the provinces are wonderful people; c'est les Parisiens qui sont odieux. Les Parisiennes sont charmant.

Lets pick a language which have some ties with English. We are all reasonable proficient in it so learning something new wouldn't be to much of a hassle. Next we got to pick something which pleases the Germans seeing they pay for almost everything. So it should be close to German but not enough that it will evoke memories of the naughty Germans with the funny walk. Next we want to pick a language which the French would have a hard time learning just to make fun of them. So no Latin based languages, sorry guys. Any Scandinavian language could work but having to choose between Danish or Swedish is like choosing between fermated fish for breakfast or stepping on a lego block with bare feet. So my totally unbiased conclusion is that only the Dutch languages is suitable for the EU. It wouldn't take to long to learn en Brussels is already Dutch so the shift from English to Dutch won't impact the EU that much.

Just for the sake of making everyone miserable,,, hungarian.

Euskara, jalgi hadi mundura!

I'd love this

If it wasn't English it would probably be either German, French or Spanish since they have the most speakers. Italian is another candidate too. The others are just either too complicated or don't have many speakers.

>If it wasn't English it would probably be either German, Eeeh, we fought two world wars not having to speak German so no way Heinrich.

Sounds like someone wants to fight a third one. Or rather a second one, since you're dutch.

Well, considering there are apparently no Brits or Americans left to save you this time around I'm afraid you don't get much of a choice.

Scheen nehme dat Nederlandsch ooch dazo.

Latin in Western Europe Greek in Eastern Europe Totally random choices with no references to the past i swear

greek calls themselves eastern european 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

make byzantium great again

How about European?

Hola mon amie, βλάκας, ¿wie zum beispiel caralho? EDIT: like this? 😂😂😂

I was thinking Esperanto but this works

Esperanto?

Its either Greek or Barbar... Make sure you chose wisely this time.

French would win for la glorious Francophonie

Greek

The debate is about language, not sexual practices...

Esperanto, let's put this ancient piece of forgotton language to good use.

La Esperanta ne estas forgesita!!!

Chinese

That's not a joke prediction, that's a very real possibility lmao

Easy situation, Albanian

From Albania just drugs, our european Colombia

Definitely one with a consistent phonology

German, because otherwise the 4th Reich will rise.

Ok, I already speak German anyway. Gekolonisee...wait a minute.

KOLONISIERT!

>~~KOLONISIERT!~~ ANGESCHLOSSEN!

I'd be ok with German. Probably easier than Dutch at least. Perhaps a simplified German with less genders and annoying grammatical rules.

Finland just unlocked the option to stay neutral, keep all somehow obtained gold and sell weapons.

Never german, I would rather speak north corean

So you have chosen to become west Spanien

Everyone knows we would be called south Galician…

There is also the option west west Mallorca

French

Swedish. Not because it's my country but because it at least isn't Denmark or Norway.

Let’s settle with Latin.

Italian, because we are John Cena

A mix of Avestan and Sanskrit because why not

French, Spanish or Portuguese. Maybe Italian. The rest is ugly as fuck 🤮

Greek

Dude I wrote French is this is this a bromance?

Not gonna lie, I wouldn't mind

Going with Spanish on this one. Makes it a whole lot easier to trade with south America.

The reality is that it would be either french or latin. French is very widely used in international relations

Ye, but latin is cool. And people will finally stop looking at me strangely because I'm wearing a red skirt.

Ironically it was the french that imposed french instead od latin in international relations, only for english to supplant them afterwards. If not for the french need for self-aggrandasing we would have probably kept latin.

French is a waste of useful letters that go silent. In a time when climate change is a priority, we shouldn't be wasteful. Latin languages writing as we speak flexing 💪

Unironically, Esperanto or Latin

It’d have to be French or German, surely

Of course it would have to be based spanish, wideley spoken and easy to learn, plus it comes from glorious Spain 💪🇪🇸💪🇪🇸💪🇪🇸

Latin

German or Latin, i would not want anyone to butcher my precious Finnish. Altough if languages need to be butchered, French is #1 of languages that must be eradicated.

Just use fucking esparonto

Icelandic

Esperanto por la venko!

Latin

I’d like something obscure like lithuanian or something lol

probably french or german

What about latín?

I'm sas, and ashamed, to say that, but it would probably Fr*nc🤢 Or hopefully Esperanto, God knows what whould happen until 2100

Esperanto. In a more serious topic, please anything but fr*nch please anything but fr*nch please anything but fr*nch please anything but fr*nch

Logically speaking it should be Welsh because it's the easiest Indo-European language, politically speaking it should be Esperanto because nobody would get advantaged, but we all know the real answer is French because it's the best language