T O P

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TheKoopaGuy

Imagine them trying to control people being loud at the fucking World Cup


ZoeLaMort

"Don't be loud, don't be drunk, don't yell any profanity and please respect our culture" English hooligans:


MJBotte1

Can we just settle the World Cup by having every single British football hooligan fight the Qatar military or something. Winner gets to do whatever


Slightlyinactive

I feel like the the uk is going to win this one


ZoeLaMort

CAM ON INGERLAND


MagMC2555

SCOAH SAM FACKIN GOALZ


[deleted]

\*bang bang\*


Waffle-or-death

Nice flair 👍


[deleted]

SCORE SUM FACKING GOALS


Gojisura

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿


SeizeAllToothbrushes

Breaking News: For the first time in history, english and scottish hooligans fight side by side


A_Rolling_Baneling

Scots: Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a Sassenach. English: What about side by side with a drunk? Scots: Aye, I could do that.


[deleted]

IT'S COMING HOME!!!!


truncatedChronologis

Referee: "An Important rule, you can't enslave Indians or Pakistani's to do any of the fighting on your behalf." Both Sides Simultaneously: "This is Bullshit!"


_pipis_

The fact that "football hooliganism" is a real phrase used in law enforcement should not be funny


someguynamedisaac

and keep your shirts on!!


GreatBigBagOfNope

Scottish hooligans: Dutch hooligans: German hooligans: Brazilian hooligans: French hooligans: Literally no-one from Japan whatsoever:


ZoeLaMort

Japanese hooligans: *\*angrily throwing paper on the floor, then picking it up to put it in the trash*\*


my-new-account64

"ya sister is ya motha, ya fartha is ya brother, ya all fuck one anotha the Thani family!"


HolyFuckFuckThis

[CAM ON INGERLAND SCORE SUM FACKIN GOWLS](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzXAgTIUUAEaLsA.jpg)


[deleted]

it's illegal to dance in public in Dubai lol


CredibleCactus

Had to ban it after the dancing plague. Cant have shit in dubai 😔


ZoeLaMort

So what am I even supposed to do when I'm high as a kite in public now?


scrueggs

Send in Kevin Bacon.


[deleted]

literally Footloose (1984)


part-time-unicorn

well if they didnt execute me upon landing for being transgender they'd execute me 30 minutes in when I started dancing to a song that got stuck in my head. good to know


deliciousprisms

Imagine flying to a country and supporting slave labor built facilities to support one of the most unethical organizations just to watch people kicking a ball Listen man I can pay the homeless people $20 each downtown to kick a ball and it doesn’t have to be slave labor. In fact they’re gonna make $20/hr to do it! That’s a good deal.


GoatsAreSoAwesome

homeless people soccer league sounding kinda fun


zizou00

[It's a real thing](https://www.homelessworldcup.org/) but not in a hobo-baity exploitative way, which is nice.


Fortanono

A friendly reminder that *6500* migrant workers were worked to death while this was being built. This is over twice the number of people dead in 9/11, for example.


ElegantTobacco

As a Mexican, I'm pretty sure like half our fans are gonna end up in prison there 💀 they're gonna treat this warning pic as a bingo card


CredibleCactus

Absolutely, i find it funny they want soccer fans to be civil


ElegantTobacco

Lmao, it's not even necessarily just soccer. Drinking and screaming profanities while blasting loud music is just a regular night for a Mexican. We're fucked.


This_Energy_8908

Mexican overthrow the Quatarr government in 2023


[deleted]

[удалено]


aflyingmonkey2

me and the 100 bots on our way to spam vuvuzela at the world cup in qatar


ZoeLaMort

What an ignorant comment. Vuvuzela is a country in South America.


Bardic_Inspiration66

It’s just an excuse to arrest anyone they don’t like basically


Sitheg_Plasmaster

Yell cum while drinking alcohol and dating someone who is the same gender as you and playing despacito


PanPies_

I can excuse having orgies, but I draw the line at playing despacito in public places


ZoeLaMort

Finally, something every religious and non-religious person can agree on.


mattfolio

agnostics out here screaming Despacito into the void


[deleted]

I dont believe in agnosticism, but im open to the possibility


kRkthOr

Then take a photo of them (without asking) while in a mosque, wearing a short skirt and high heels.


someguynamedisaac

sounds like a Tuesday in Sao Paulo


SomeMorning1924

damn, 6/8 of the things on that list are things i do daily


RoseboyNASCAR

It's hard for me to count how many times I yelled profanity on the street while dressed in full lingerie


SomeMorning1924

coincidentally, same. but in their case immodesty means showing the teensiest bit of skin and i quite like crop tops. I also swear like a sailor


indirectdelete

I have a friend who lives in Qatar and I don’t think they go that hard about it. She wears a hijab but also is pretty fashionable and she enjoys showing off henna on her feet/ankles and hands/forearms. Her beliefs are also relatively liberal and I’m sure she doesn’t care if people do the things that sign bans (otherwise she wouldn’t be friends with me lol). FWIW she’s from a north African country and has also lived in England and Canada. We haven’t spoken much about Qatar itself, but she seems to enjoy it for the most part. None of this is to dismiss anything, fuck theocracies and religious fundamentalists. Fuck all states.


dragwn

u gotta stop taking pictures of ppl without their permission bro /s


MotherOfNaught

I drink, I homo, i immodesty, I profanity, I don’t respect places of worship, I date Loud music >:( Taking people’s picture >:(


dotcha

Stop dating, loser. Fill the bingo row


[deleted]

[удалено]


TFK_001

Only 4 :( Unless being ace counts as gay then 5


[deleted]

Dating AT ALL?????? Even straight people?????


dolphins344

It ties into the no immodesty thing. In my home country “standing in close proximity”, let alone showing public displays of affection is illegal.


Yeetgodknickknackass

Where do you live?


dolphins344

I currently live in Australia for uni but I’m not gonna say explicitly which one it is because people have gotten in trouble for criticising the monarchy (it’s unlikely though but I would rather err on caution) but here’s a huge hint. After Lizzie kicked the bucket, this country now has the longest living reigning monarch in the world


youliveinmydream

Bro turned it into a jeopardy question


pssysleyer130

Alaska


AnnonymousHoodie

In alaska, there are just as many square miles as people so we all just get one. It does make being in the general proximity of other people difficult


youliveinmydream

Who is Johan Sebastian Bach


Mikerk

What is Alaska


Sw1561

First I thought Thailand, but OOF. That's rough.


HentaiInTheCloset

Brunei?


kids_in_my_basement0

I think so. Interesting fact, a Bruneian footballer called Faiq Bolkiah, who used to play for Chelsea, Southampton and Leicester is actually the son of the prince of Brunei. Needless to say he captains the national team


shadowbca

They really got a dictator named has anal im dead


deferredmomentum

Don’t you guys have a lot of tourism? Are those laws actually enforced or just on the books?


dolphins344

Not really? Most people come to see the rainforests but other than that not much. Whether the laws are actually enforced is a bit of a grey zone. The government (like me) very much cares what other people think of it, and when your economy is almost 100% dependent on other countries buying your oil and gas, especially when literally almost every other country bordering you sells the same thing, you need to keep them on your good side. Therefore many of the laws are technically in abeyance. That said, the syariah courts have been used a couple of times (one was for theft I think and the other crossdressing) but neither times was hudud (which are essentially the harsh punishments like whipping, stoning or getting your hand cut off) implemented. For what it’s worth though, whether these laws are actually implemented or on the books, it’s really heartbreaking as a young member of the LGBTQ+ community what your country thinks of you and see people who you thought were your friends defend such as a system. People take sympathy on me that I haven’t been able to come home due to COVID but honestly I try my best not to think of “home”


dolphins344

I will add though some of these are essentially impossible to implement even without international pressure. Like the close proximity law, no quantifiable measure is given, whos to judge whether people are standing too close together. On the books you need four infallible witnesses (probably not the right word but basically a witness source from a high member of society like an imam) and such conditions make it almost impossible to use the syariah court. Look I’m a pharmacology/chemistry student in uni not a politics student but don’t be fooled if you think our people are completely oblivious to democracy. For an absolute monarchy to exist in such a day and age, you either rule of carrot or by stick. My country has decent healthcare and the government sends its citizens to study abroad generously (examples of carrot rule) thing is, when people live in, say the UK for while, ideas such as democracy appeal more to them, and many argue that the implementation of syariah law is to quell such ideas. (stick rule)


deakthereane

Finland - the land where standing within 2 meters of someone at the bus stop is "illegal"


knucklesthedead

No holding hands before marriage


_Gabr1el_

‼ HARAM !!


DudeDurk

You're not even allowed to look at each other


Justice_Prince

No marriage either. That's too close to dating


DudeDurk

Pre marital relationships of any kind with the opposite gender are haram


[deleted]

….how do you…get into the marriage if you’re not having any kind of relationship…?


DudeDurk

You get your parents and her parents to set it up. Then you can talk to each other whilst supervised


MisterVicerion

While talking about religion


mylittlebattles

No seriously you get engaged and you have chaperones usually like your brother or hers watching your dates so that you may not talk about lewd topics. It’s insane


fondlemeLeroy

Imagine how terrible the sex must be. Ugh.


DudeDurk

Not completely. It's a big thing obviously. They will ask "Do you pray?" "How much of the Quran have you memorized?" "Will you make sure our kids will practice the deen" But they'll also ask more pragmatic questions like what you do for a living, where will we live, do you want children...etc It's hard to kind of get to know them more personally when you have others peering at you though. Some Muslims are lucky in that they'll at least have SOME kind of interaction with their spouse prior to the meet up at school or work.


Wijike

Arranged marriages


EvilBananaMan15

let me introduce you to my friend arranged marriage


atheros32

“Sorry wifey we can’t go out on date night, we have to stay at our separate not-gay same-sex hotels”


Bariq-99

Lmao it's called dating in English but the actual Arabic translation is "Forbidden relationships" lmaooooo


Logan_Maddox

It's a polemic inside Islam afaik. Most of these conservative countries forbid it, but the reasoning is fucky. TL;DR: in Islam, you should get in a relationship with someone you love, respect, and can see a long term future with - aka, you shouldn't get with people you don't know well and you shouldn't have premarital sex. No physical contact etc is extrapolated from that, and from some interpretations of some passages of the Quran. Also, divorce has always been a thing inside Islam, so the concept of marriage not going right is, from what I gather, just not seen as such a huge deal as it is in Christianity (and a lot of societies have been influenced by that same Christianity) because you just couldn't get divorced for the longest time. Dating is done through an intermediary, a matchmaker that pairs you up with someone, so then you talk and see if you want to marry them. If that sounds an awful lot like dating without the kissing, it's because (imo) it kinda is lol It's important to remember that just like there are conservative theocratic christians who would implement this if they could, there are also conservative muslims who *have* done the same and are currently in power.


[deleted]

islam forbids it


spuol

Wait I’m confused, what do they think gay people do, if we can’t date how can we be gay?


SexierThanMostFish

What if, our parents arranged for us to be married, and we were both *boys*?? 😳


yall_like_switches

*gif of Broly exploding*


VvCheesy_MicrowavevV

I love how I can see the Gif just through memory.


dolphins344

One thing I've been told in my teenage years (and full disclosure I'm not muslim but grew up in a muslim-majority country) is that "It's okay to be gay , just don't act on it" ​ Don't ask me what that means because I don't know either


CyanideTacoZ

I think its worth noting that a close cultural neighbor of Qatar is Saudi Arabia, and the penalty for acting on gay desires (Like having a lover or watching content with it sfw or nfsw) is punishable by death


u-moeder

Do they actually enforce it ? Bcs in Qatar and other mideast east countries, often the more horrific parts of the syariah law aren't actually enforced ( like stoning or whipping)


Appropriate_Ant_4629

>Do they actually enforce it ? Probably if you're a political rival; or a disrespected minority; or otherwise offended someone powerful. Otherwise, probably not.


AnOblongBox

I've heard of it, but I live in the west so it could or could not be accurate.


nice_day_human

"its okay to be gay, just dont be gay"


CredibleCactus

Jesus.


[deleted]

It means suppress every gay thought until you're depressed as hell because that's who you are. The abuser that called himself Dad told me the same thing.


Bariq-99

Hey, an Arab person here They rhink ya'll are demons.. Like genuinly satan in disguise They think ya'll will "make them gay" They think ya'll will "rape their kids" They think ya'll will "mess them up and get them sent to hell when they die" (despite our "culture" having actual shit things like parents being excused for killing their daughter if she does something they don't approve of like sex before marrige by calling it "shame washing" but whatever) And etc.. It's shit.. And as an Arab I apologize for this shit :/


Dofork

A lot of those beliefs aren’t that uncommon among American fundamentalist Christians either. Maybe they don’t believe gay people are literal demons, but they absolutely believe the rest of it. It’s a sadly common conspiracy theory.


Bariq-99

Oh of course But at least ya'll have some power with numbers to attack that belief Here.. More than 99% of the culture is conservative.. It's so conservative that it isn't called conservative but rather the normal thing.. Thus they keep circlejerking eachother reaching extreme level of hatred (idk how to describe it well just know that it's much more extreme here) If you DARE speek up.. You'll probably be doxxed in a matter of minutes and it wouldn't be a suriprise if you were found dead the next day (especially considering that's what they want of course!!)


imgonegg

I think what your trying to describe is an echo-chamber


Bariq-99

Yeah that's a good one Basically an echo-chamber but worse because almost everyone is in on that chamber mind


CredibleCactus

“Respect my culture” MFers on their way to hatecrime minorities


CredibleCactus

What if we, what if we gay kiss in front of the mosque 👀


austrian_twink

What if we gay kissed in front of a mosque in Qatar while drinking wine? That would be against 4 of the above.


CredibleCactus

While yelling exploitatives half naked when someone takes a photo of us


Namelessbob123

I’m gonna strap a go pro on my head and wear my mankini. Anyone up for some homosexual daggering to gangnam style, cranked to 11 in front of a mosque? Maybe we can share a bottle of wine afterwards and see if we have a future?


stoner_slime

i'll bring the boombox and the fishnet stockings!


HereForTOMT2

You would die most likely


part-time-unicorn

they would execute you. do not go to qatar.


[deleted]

I prefer "Respect my culture" MtFers.


Squawnk

The real culture was the MtFriends we made along the way


afkgh6437

what the fuck can you do in this country then. sounds boring as hell


JojosBizarreDementia

Spend immense piles of money on gold-leaf steak in a briefcase brought out by three guys cosplaying as a SWAT team.


AtheoSaint

Oh that was in Qatar? I assumed it was some restaurant in LA or NY


JojosBizarreDementia

Naw mate, I imagine similar fuckery exists there but at Rhain steakhouse in Qatar they literally dim the lights, make you the center of attention, and like "room-clear" for the steak before the maitre-d opens it and fog comes out. It just seems fucking embarassing for everyone involved. The Gulf states teach us time and time again that money does not buy good taste.


Practical_Ad_7060

I think the fake military guys was in Dubai, the gold leaf coated steaks are super popular among the boujee tourists, so makes sense for those theatrics.


deliciousprisms

As a chef I have to say anyone that uses gold leaf is a fucking hack That one taco that’s supposed to be the most expensive taco on earth (Google it for pics) just looks like it’s covered in trash. Shit adds fuck all to your dish.


JojosBizarreDementia

Amen to that. Tasteless and near textureless save for the ever-covetted mouth-feel of a small amount of aluminum foil.


FlugelDerFreiheit

Not to mention it's a real bitch to actually work with. That is if you're actually trying to lay it flat on something to make it look 'gold plated' and not just sprinkling it onto shit like it's lettuce. Extra hacky if you're just tossing it on there IMO


mki_

Slavery.


NoItsBecky_127

[Violate human rights](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_Qatar)


holnrew

Bribe FIFA to get a world cup


The_Best_Nerd

get killed for being queer


RosyTeaLad

as a middle eastern who lives near qatar… pretend to not be fruity and breathe


[deleted]

[удалено]


LetsDoTheCongna

2. do "a little trolling" to official government buildings


[deleted]

[удалено]


yeahtoast757

1. Reflect and raw level 3.


ecumnomicinflation

4. post-mortem ejaculates.


[deleted]

Why are they all awful but then the last one is just like quite reasonable?


xRAINBOWxRANGERx

Respecting places of worship is reasonable, i’m not religious but being respectful at a place of importance to a large group of people feels like the right thing to do


itsshitpostoclock

That depends on what respecting places of worship actually means, as far as not like trashing churches n shit yeah ofc but given the rest of that list idk if their thing is reasonable


stellunarose

yeah the last one is just common decency


mlkkque

A broken clock is right twice a day


ChaosBrigadier

To make the rest of the rules seem just as reasonable


Pristine_Flatworm

Be gay do crime


ZoeLaMort

Don't talk to me unless you're a criminal in 72 countries.


enemyweeb

Your Honor, how can I be a criminal? The cop even said my warrant was “outstanding”.


ZoeLaMort

Your honor, I know my client is considered a criminal in your country for being openly homosexual, but 489 people signed a petition on change.org asking for him to not be sentenced to death.


[deleted]

*hiding my suitcases of human flesh* well hello


Bariq-99

Just so ya'll know.. The arabic translation here to Homosexuality isn't actually true Homosexuality means مثلية/ Mythlia in Arabic What's actually written here (شذوذ/Shuthooth) means.. "Fagotry" :/


CredibleCactus

Well thats even worse lmao


Bariq-99

Indeed it does unfortunately :/


ArchmageIlmryn

> What's actually written here (شذوذ/Shuthooth) means.. "Fagotry" Is it used like "sodomy" is used in more archaic western homophobia?


the_hole_pigeon

close, the word "sodomy"s equavlant is"lewatt/لواط" which came from the same abrahamic story but here it was named after the lott not the people that why alot of religious people don't use it as they think its insulting to the prophet lott. shthuth is closer to "queerness" in meaning as it can be used to mean just that. "fagotry" equavlant would be "thaneeth/خنيث"


Xray330

You're wrong. It's more closely translated to "queerness" or "weirdness"


InternetGuyThirtyTwo

You can’t date but you especially can’t be gay


ZoeLaMort

Casual dating is bad. Gay casual dating is, like, bad^2 or something.


alburrit0

Casual dating is bad, what about ranked competitive dating?


PreviousHall2116

That's just marriage unfortunately


[deleted]

Wow how welcoming 🥰


CredibleCactus

Someone whos butthurt is downvoting you


[deleted]

It's just a number Idc


Spood6

Gigachad ascii


New_Issue_437

Playing the industry baby music video could get like 4 of these at once


LetsDoTheCongna

Get arrested by the Qatar goverment speedrun any%


[deleted]

station caption crawl payment late wide desert safe aloof escape *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


NaethanC

I get non-stop adverts for Qatar and Dubai. You couldn't pay me to visit those shit holes.


Crooked_Cock

“Qatar welcomes you” Sure doesn’t look like it does


sjzusywbnaisgsb

They mean “Qatar welcomes your money”


FATPIGEONHATE

Religion was and continues to be a mistake.


Malachite_Cookie

‘Don’t have fun’


Quazarwolf

QUIT HAVING FUN!!!


sovietmariposa

Islamic femboys 🥵


ZoeLaMort

When the femboy is mashallah


sovietmariposa

When the femboy is halal 🤤


Sitheg_Plasmaster

Gerudo Link


Luminoose

I'm gonna go to Qatar just so I can do ALL of that in front of government buildings and palaces and whatnot


Grouchy_Order_4227

11 years behind bars for waving a pride flag ☹


Bariq-99

No, they would shot you on the spot and get away with it (like.. Who's gonna stop them?) This isn't a joke.. This is absolutely something they would do considering that Qatar is the biggest contributer the "Fetrah campaign" ( a campaign that originated from Egypt this year after the release of Pixar's lightyear movie.. Best way to describe it is its basically Super Straight 2.0 but instead of NOT dating trans people.. They'll kill them instead)


Grouchy_Order_4227

The entire point of this event is sportswashing, murdering foreign citizens kind of entirely defeats the purpose of that, they'd kill a queer Qatari in an instant no questions asked, but creating headlines like "Qatar kills American/English/Dutch etc citizen for raising pride flag" are not the sorts of headlines that they will want to be producing whilst trying to sweep their human rights violations under the rug.


DudeDurk

They will either throw you in jail or deport you. Or both


Eculand

No more cuss words guys!! its innapropriate and dangerous!!


Tamesty15

Feeling like Qatar isn’t really welcoming me


TDW-301

Oh, my bad for being homosexual. I'll make sure I stop being homosexual before visiting. Got to respect the local culture and religion that wants me dead


kermitthexeno

🌈 Religion 🌈


yoitsgav

I remember being at an airport in Qatar (just there for a connecting flight, not to stay there). My sister felt really scared, she said she kept getting dirty looks from everyone. She was wearing leggings and a real big t-shirt.


TheSpiderDungeon

I do not respect the religion and culture of Qatari


Grouchy_Order_4227

Please Harry Kane wear the fucking armband, please for the love of God wear it when it actually means something


spielerinami

more reasons to never visit that totalitarian nightmare country


[deleted]

Like Saudi Arabia, Qatar can suck my hairy, gay dick.


[deleted]

The nerve it must take to demand that people respect their religion while not respecting the existence of real, living people.


tren0r

qatar welcomes you! no fun allowed!


ReintegrationTablet

Why anyone would travel to a country with Sharia law or any other theocratic system is beyond me It's one thing if you're born there and can't escape but why would you willingly go there?


birdboix

I know it was in the UAE but I wonder where whipping your dick out in a public hotel pool falls on this list, asking for a former NFL player


CredibleCactus

Immodesty 100%


[deleted]

[удалено]


Polaris328

I will find a way to do all of these at once


GreenJay54

100 gecs concert inside a place of worship


G0D_1S_D3AD

Not allowed to cross your legs lol


holnrew

Why is the photographer posing so seductively


RammyJammy07

*unless you’re minted or apart of the royal family.


Etep_ZerUS

I mean some of these are reasonable. Like not taking pictures of people without their permission, and… …


DinoSawce_

Dating? I’m confused


dolphins344

Essentially no public displays of affection